Time to text that special someone who thinks you're just

me: Seriously why havent we had sex yet?
her: what?
me: why havent we had sex yet?
her: maybe because I hardly know you, and I've already got a boyfriend?
me: don't you ever think about other guys?
her: why are you asking me this?
me: I think we could have some fun, if you're willing.
me: doesn't need to be anything serious
me: lets do this
her: please dont msg me again
me: I'm already stroking it thinking about you, want a pic?
her: eww no!
me: will you at least send me a pic?
her: GO AWAY!

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>>734816768
Simple solution. Be very apparent about banging another chick. Chicks want what they cant have. Its human nature. If you go this route your actively looking for a pussy, you make her lose control of the boundaries of the friendzone... and even if you fail with her... youre getting pussy.

The sooner you realize women are fucking retarded and should be used to fuck and fuck only the better off youll be.

The real question is... why dont you love yourseld enough to be alone and happy. Thats true power.

Sometimes it doesn't quite work out as planned:

me: Seriously why havent we had sex yet?
her: who the fuck is this?
me: who is this?
her: this is cy's boyfriend, who the fuck are you?
me: is cy there?
her: who the fuck are you motherfucker??
me: she wont tell you?
her: if I find you I'm going to kick your ass faggot
her: fucking faggot
her: faggotty asshole
me: will you give cy a message?
her: faggot
me: tell her I would eat her shit straight out her ass if it meant pissing you off
her: what the fuck? faggot? see you're a faggot, faggot
me: tell her I said thanks for the backrub the other day, and I'm looking forward to our date
her: you faggot I'm going to hunt you down. I'm going to hunt you faggot YOU FAGGOT
her: FAGFAGFAGFAGFAG
me: tell her I dont blame her for wanting to dump her boyfriend
her: WHO IS THIS FAGGOT

Other times, it works like a dream:

me: honestly, why havent we had sex yet?
her: say something romantic and you might get your wish
me: romantic?
her: woo me
me: do I look like Hallmark Greetings to you?
her: you're losing points
me: oh hell give me time to think of something
her: Jeopardy Music
me: ready?
her: ready as ever
me: it's a bit sappy, are you sure about this?
her: I hope it's a love poem
me: here goes
me: Thrusting deep I pump your butt
me: Pumping faster I pump your butt
her: enough of that
me: Your butt was meant for pumping
her: oh god
me: Pumping your butt full of cum
her: eww
me: Pump Pump Pump Cum Cum Cum
her: I'm putting you on ignore if you don't stop
me: The End
her: That wasn't very romantic
me: I get am A for effort though, right?
her: why are all guys such assholes
me: isn't that what women like?
her: sad but true

This is why I never get laid...

(me): seriously why havent we had sex yet?
(her): i think your definition of sex is different than mine
(me): how so?
(her): a blowjob IS sex...
(me): no way it isn't we should go all the way
(her): No, I'm saving myself...
(me): how about another blowjob then?
(her): I'm just not that into you anymore... I met someone
(me): oh god damn it
(her): I thought you knew
(me): i think you just ruined my entire life.
(her): what?
(me): I thought you were the one... the one for me...
(me): all those other girls.. they were just... recreation
(her): WHAT? I thought we agreed not to get serious!
(me): I am going to kill myself
(her): Stop fucking around with me, this isn't fair
(me): I loved you. I LOVED YOU
(her): call me asap
(me): GOD DAMNIT, I AM ENDING THIS RIGHT NOW
(me): SAY A PRAYER FOR ME
(me): GOOD NIGHT SWEET PRINCE
(her): call me or I will call 911
(her): hello? are you there?
(her): this isnt funny any more, pick up the phone
(her): don't do this! PICK UP THE PHONE!!!

But I still manage to slip it in sometimes.


(me) Seriously why havent we had sex yet?
(her) who was that meant for?
(me) you
(her) you want to have sex with me?
(me) are you offering?
(her) I don't think of you like that
(me) But I think of YOU all the time
(her) You're my friend, don't ruin this
(me) usually it's late at night and all the lights are off, I just lay there, thinking about you
(her) That's sweet, but you should go for someone more your type
(me) because when the lights are off, sometimes I forget he's my dad
(her) what?
(me) I mean, when the lights are off, and I'm daydreaming, I think of our future
(her) your dad? what about your dad?
(me) please don't talk about my dad, it will just put me into a bad mood
(her) What is your dad doing with you with the lights off?
(me) No, please.. I can't talk about that.. he'll hurt my mom
(her) What are you talking about? Is your dad hurting you? You can tell me!
(me) I need to go, I need to go. I'm sorry I ever brought this up
(her) You need to tell me whats going on or I'm going to get involved with or without you
(me) you don't understand
(her) I might understand alot more than you think I do, I had problems with my dad too you know, there's a reason why I moved into my moms house at 14
(me) Are you saying what I think you're saying?
(her) Call me please, or come over
(me) I'll be there in 30 minutes

Short but sqeet:

(me) Seriously, why haven't we had sex yet?
(her) I don't go out with coworkers
(me) who said anything about dating?
(her) Oh, well in that case, fuck off.

>>734817805
Favorite

I even try to get my friends to help out:

(me) Seriously, why do you think Stacie won't have sex with me?
(him) my Stacie?
(me) Yea, bitch has some tits on her. hot damn
(him) We're still together...
(me) Then maybe you could re-introduce me to her, I wouldn't mind a little bit of that action
(him) I would fucking kill you
(me) don't be so posessive, all I want is 30 minutes with her, I'll make it worth your while
(him) how?
(me) how?
(him) How would you make it worth my while?
(me) How about $500
(him) Done, I'm dumping her when I enroll in LSU in the spring anyway
(me) pfft, I can wait two months
(him) I'll talk shit about you to her first
(me) damn you got me there
(me) she isn't worth $500 though, how about $20
(him) hmm okay
(me) damn
(him) I still get paid if she wont fuck you though
(me) sure she will, my dick's way bigger than yours

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my personal favorite:

me: Seriously why havent we had sex yet?
her: idk what r u talking about?
me: what are you wearing?
her: not interested
me: What can I do to convince you that we should have sex?
her: take a hint, not interested
me: do you have any lonely friends?
her: not for you, noone for you
me: what about melanie?
her: Wait, your into Melanie?
her: srsly?
me: Why wouldn't I be, she's funny
her: OMG, SERIOUSLY?
me: I like em thick, what can I say?
her: OMG Does she know?
me: Would you tell her?
her: Tell her what? You shud msg her do you have her #?
me: Tell her I want to fuck you both, and we should all hang out
her: is this a joke?
her: are you into me, or her?
me: my dick is an equal opportunity destroyer
her: oh your a creep
her: stay away from melanie, she's been hurt and she wouldnt get your humor
me: I'm not joking, I'd climb that mountain if it meant getting with you too
me: just think of her, she needs a good lay
me: dont ruin this for her
me: hello?
her: melanie wants your number, can I give to to her?
me: only if you're setting up a threesome
her: do you want to talk to her or not? I'm not interested
her: hello?
her: she's getting upset, will you talk to her?
her: hello?
her: your an asshole

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I appreciate this thread, but I'm neither clever enough to make something up or have the real life experience needed to contribute, so have this pic instead

>>734820115
Thanks, anon.


me: Seriously why havent we had sex yet?
her: if you think of a good reason let me know
me: I've got nothing
her: So, what does that tell you?
me; That there's no reason I shouldn't be boning you right this second?
her: I'm game if you're game!
me: That went much better than expected.
her: All you had to do was ask
me: Yea, but that's never worked for me before.
her: Less talking, more sexing
me: I hope you like anal
her: lol

>>734820342
Yeah this happened.

>>734821497

To be fair, it's how I got balls deep in your dad.

>>734816768
>LET ME FUCK YOU
and real life cucks like Cernovich think this is alpha

>>734822013
To be fair, it's how I got balls deep in your grandfather

>>734822128
Yeah he shoulda just raped 'er

>>734822142
To be fair, it's how I got balls deep in your tranny girlfriend

>>734822241
To be fair, it's how I got balls deep in your dog

>>734822367
To be fair, it's how I got balls deep in your deceased sibling

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>>734822558

>>734822558
To be fair, that's how I got balls deep in your non-diceased sibling's ex-boyfriend's cousin's dad's go-to prostitute

>>734822780
To be fair, that's how I got balls deep in YOU.

>>734823509
Oh, hey dad

>>734823641
Hello son, how has college been treating you? Hold on, can you bend over a little further and touch your toes? Ahh, yes. That's it, right there. Thanks.

>>734823735
College has been a pain in the ass, but not as much as yoga I've been working on. It's neat that you're an instructor now.

>>734823915
That's good son. And those new yoga pants look much better on you than your mother.

>>734823986
Thanks, old man. And those panties look a lot better on you than my sister

>>734823509
>>734823641
>>734823735
>>734823915
>>734823986
>>734824110
fucking losers

>>734824110
Stop talking with your mouth full, and try to swallow, don't spit.

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>>734824278
And you, my friend,

Are a faggot

>>734824342
Sorry, mom's food is just shit like usual

>>734820115
sauce

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>>734824876
Some French girl that posted awhile back

14 pics in all. Don't know if there's more out there from different threads

File: 1494522026719.jpg (96KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

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>>734824876

>>734825212
how many you got?

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>>734825307
14

>>734825393
My dick is aching, can you dump it here? or somewhere else

>>734825163
god i love the french

>>734825393
MOARRRRR

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>>734825824

File: 1494522961211.jpg (74KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

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>>734825856

>>734825888
love you anon

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>>734825888

>>734818723
wait... lmao

File: 1494522373655.jpg (93KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

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>>734825907

File: 1494522181566.jpg (111KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

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>>734825942

File: 1494521819924.jpg (106KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

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>>734825967

File: 1494521707723.jpg (88KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

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>>734825991

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>>734826018

File: 1494521378564.jpg (85KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

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>>734826045
And last one

File: Paz_portrait.jpg (19KB, 330x376px) Image search: [Google]

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>>734825967
this girl, would get away cosplaying Paz

>>734826088
Wished that she showed her face
besides that, thank you anon, godspeed.

>>734825626
Fuck the French.

>>734827617
That's what they're there for

>>734816768
Anyone got more of the girl in OP's pic?