Suicide bread. Post your bullshit here I feel like I can't

Huh. How old are you? Im 21 and I get paid I think 100$ a week to go to college (ny). Not literally paid but the federal grant refunds break down to about that. I assume youre a dude. Youre onto something. Why not move into the country to live a simple life? A traditional life. What do you want in life?

If we could, would we? Or continue the games of moral superiority and divine righteousness? Because it feels good to shit on anyone, I guess.

>>734680135
There are a lot of drone-minded people in the world. Collective mindset, vindictive, anything goes, etc. Thats why men start families and run households. Your own kingdom.

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>>734680084
I'm a 32yr old female who always wanted a traditional life. Grew up in the south. The urban/suburban south. I was married once, but he was a waste, wanted a free ride with no work. I want to have children, but time and distance after high school gets pretty crazy. I feel like I missed out. The rest is tl;dr about psycho parents and sister. I feel like I'm just fucked and missed out on any good foundation of living because my family were psychotic rats and vultures who cannibalised their own Kin.

>>734679711
I just graduated college after dropping out three times.
I thought if I finally finished a diploma I'd have some kind of motivation or some kind of good feeling. I didn't.
Now I just feel empty and owe the government 20 grand.

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>>734680409
It seems like it's some male archetype or fantasy to start their own harem/colony of building their own world. This isn't much possible unless they buy an island, then reproduce until they encounter a greater body of sovereignty that checks them.

>>734680940
There are a great many people, young and middle-aged, who got fucked over by the college meme and all the financial rape it entails. College is a business and an indoctrination institution. It makes sense that anyone who took a government-enforced unsecured loan for bullshit got fucked. I'm sorry, anon. We can fix this shit system, though.

>>734680940
I'm at like -80k but have have 15k saved. Have a shitty job unrelated to my diploma but my bills are very small so it makes up for it I guess. Since I'm working poor I don't have to make payments and it won't increase but the debt won't go away for a decade.

>>734681480
I hope we can fellow anon.
Too many people get their lives ruined for a piece of paper that doesn't qualify you to do jack fucking shit.
I wish I had gone to trade school instead or something. I'd tell everyone in that school to get the fuck out and get into trades.

>>734680656

r u hot

>>734681805
>it makes up for it I guess
No, it doesn't. Why shouldn't you be allowed to contribute to society to your best ability? Foreign-controlled currency? No, fuck that. You're with more than manual labour, but not to the private, foreign controlling interests.

>>734679711
You're just a loser. Get mad or prove me wrong

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>>734682016
Yes, and healthy, athletic, and Skandinavian. That doesn't mask emotional disturbance, so I feel fucked and pointless. People say I'm really nice, pretty, intelligent, but that's it. I dunno how to make fiends or boyfriends anymore.

>>734679711
Hey man. It gets better. Maybe. I dont know. Is there anything you're passionate about?

>>734680656
shit sucks, man, but it sounds like the guy was the problem and not you. Not sure where you live but maybe a change of scenery would help


I wanted to kill myself once and /b/ helped me change my mind. I'll stay here to talk to anyone.

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>>734682688
>it gets better
I don't mean to be disrespectful, I have heard this since my teens. If anything, "better" has meant more numb and without care.

I understand the issues of me vs my ex. It's been a decade, I chewed it over for a couple years before I set out to date again. I wanted to know myself and what went wrong, and cast anew. I do want to move far North, but I'm not sure where or more importantly how. I love cold and mountains, even the current 80+F heat us killing me.

baww I just dunno why I keep going. Internet dating sucks, and all men I meet IRL assume I'm taken (then just want sex and nothing else). Fuck me.

>>734679711
Am tranny. Dad doesn't work dad won't let mom drive or work. Been giving any money I make from work to parents to support the family since I was 16. Brother is 25 autistic and refuses to work because"he doesn't like working". Sister who is 40 gives all her paycheck from her part time job to Dad. Sister has teaching degree but complains teach is too hard. Money from house sold is almost gone. Fought with Dad back in 2014 and kept a couple of my paychecks which I used to get surgery to remove my balls. Was going to kick me out for having the surgery done, mom managed to talk to him. I want to get my ears pierced, but once again dad yells and threats to kick me out, out of a house I pay for.........Pass as a cute femboy sometimes girl. I just literally need like 15k in surgery's to pass 100%. Work sucks because manager is abusive....atleaast if my home situation was ok it'd be ok....i just want to kill my self

>>734683581
internet dating is the best, especially if you're a woman.

There are 3 billion men out there. Odds are one is good enough. And this is total fortune cookie bullshit, but sometimes we find the best relationships when we're not looking for one. You'll never know what comes in the future.

>>734683721
dude move out. Find some roomates on CL who are LGBT friendly and just gtfo

>>734683721
If you can't pass on hormones then you shouldn't transition, you're causing untold emotional and psychological trauma. I'm sorry you have an impoverished and dysfunctional family. You need to leave them, which only you can do. I wish you the best, anon.

>>734683899
I want to. I'm just so fucking fed up right now.

>>734679711
De dikste tetten

>>734684237
do it. What's rent in your area?

>>734683721

Oh, my fucking lord... Why is every single one of you weird faggots borderline suicidal and just needy as shit?

Dude, we ALL feel like shit. Life SUCKS. But most of us aren't fucking insane enough to chop up our man/woman parts and try to build a snowman out of what's left into the other gender's parts.

I have sympathy for you as a fellow human being feeling down, but that's where the line is drawn because I can't stand your kind. Fucking up gender roles and making everyone stupid and crazy enough to believe there are more than two genders.

Just take some FUCKING medication and try to be normal. You KNOW you will never be the opposite gender so fucking knock that goofy shit off and be miserable like the rest of us.

>>734683813
Internet dating is an incessant barrage of "hey what's up" msgs from men. They have the opposite problem we do: we get fuck tons of low-quality messages. Men are expected to put good personalised time into each message, and 90%+ get ignored. Internet dating just sucks for everyone.

>>734684237
Just do it, not like somebody depends on you in your house. You'll live longer and happier If you don't take shit you don't need to. Heard LGBT community is pretty friendly, listen to >>734683899

>>734682668
>>r u hot
>yes
>people say I'm pretty

ok we need to establish this now. post proof

>>734684368
Transsexualism is no novel phenomenon. I agree that there are only two genders, that is Western culture, and the prevailing culture should be respected. Anyone who insists that language should be reworked, or an obvious untrying man demand to be addressed as woman, can go fuck themselves. A duck is a duck, the rest should give up.

>>734684458
personally I miss it. I been with a girl for about 4 years now but before that was so much fun

>>734680656
Lemme get this straight....

you have a vagina and you seem to have life issues? How stupid are you? Wake the fuck up. He who controls the cunt rules the world.

>>734684142
I've been on hormones. My doctor approved me for an orchiectomy after being one year on them. I don't need t blockers anymore and E doesn't really do much tbh since I pass like 70% as long as my hair is long. So hormonally I'm set. It's mostly my brow bridge that. I just need that and Id be set for life........Its just not fair such a obtainable goal that's not obtainable due to the laziness and stubborness of others. Sure I could move out but i just am so done....

>>734684368
I think that gender changing surgeries and provedores should be banned, or only considered in real illnesses. But that doesn't mean trans people should be treated like shit

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>>734684583
Not posting face on /b/

>>734684936
Oooooooh. So you're this kinda fucked up then?

>>734684915
I guess all women are perfect beings, thank god 4chan showed me the way

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>>734680656

>>734685154
really, you call that hot? where did you tits go?

Let us see a pussy shot, maybe that won't be as disappointing

>>734684936
There's plenty of women with shitty, pronounced brows. I'm one of them. I hate it, but it exists. Study what separates men from women, and emulate it.

>>734685154

And you can't get laid? Shiiiiiieeeet, gtfo.

>>734685499
I think she's cute.

>>734685154
how old is that pic, because if you have that phone now means you're broke as fuck.

>>734685581
you've probably never touched an unrelated girl i assume.

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>>734685154
Timestamp faggot. You know the rules

>>734685154
Nice try. You look like a guy with your junk tucked

>>734684337
Solo like 500 romemate like 300. I make like 1200. Rite now I give 900... I can finance surgery it but not if I give like 75% of my check.
>>734684368 lol I have medical insurance and I still payed 3500 out of pocket to chop my balls off. My surgeon offered to file paper work to change my gender maker. I declined cause I don't care about that. I accept I'm a male even if in the future I pass 101%. I want this surgery so I don't stick out like a sore thumb. Chopping my balls was functional. I don't plan on mutilating my penis and I never get mad if people call me ma'am or sir. Literally the only rational decision seems suicide. Like not the seeking attention type more like secretly take several types of cns depressants and never wake .

>>734685499
They went the way of Nicole Kidman and other women who lacked an industrial hormone diet. i cri evrytim

>>734685578
I can get laid whenever I want. Casual sex gets real old, real quick. So I don't, though I have a stable at my call. I want a relationship worth more than lust. Most single kids don't understand this.

>>734685651
I had that phone until a few months ago. I'm not broke af because I'm not a nigger who wants shiny nothings. 90% of my internet use is text, so kill yourself, iDiot.

>>734686095

Yeah well most women realize what you've realized after they spend their 20's hopping from dick to dick. I'm not making a sexist comment here since men do the same fucking shit, and many of them never mature enough to realize that sex is just sex, but a real relationship is worth so much more.

Welp, better late than never. Some women realize this in their 40's and by then have nothing to offer at all. You're wise to come to this conclusion at such a young age.

And you are attractive, but come on...showing your fucking nudes to randoms on the internet, and you claim you're looking for a "real" relationship?

You a dumb, hypocritical type of beta female.

>>734685911
Anyone under 12 is accused of being a boy on chans. It's pathetic.

>>734686401

>sex is just sex, but a real relationship is so much more

>Some women realize this in their 40's and by then have nothing to offer at all.

what do you mean, nothing to offer at all? nothing sexually? cause i thought

>sex is just sex, but a real relationship is so much more

>>734686401
K. I'm the alpha female in every household. I have been with two men after my husband, and both hated kids and desired only money. They were triggered that I didn't worship what the TV said and didn't like comics and cartoons and football.

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>>734686457

>>734686712

Lmfao, typical female bullshit--"I'm a female, therefore I'm valuable just for being one, but I still fully expect a male partner to be able to bring SOMETHING to the table besides himself."

Fuck off. She needs to bring something to the table, herself. Having a [loose] vagina and saggy tits isn't shit. A personality is worth far more but that would actually require effort, and we all know how women--at least in the western world--enjoy the freeriding easy life.

>>734686317
okay calm down, jeez. I was just asking. even the girls on 4ch are rude

>>734683721
How do you afford anything? Food stamps? You have rent, heat, food, water, tampons for your sister, and cable. Do you make good money?

>>734686933
>4ch is rude
Are you from fucking Reddit or nü/b/?

>>734686844
>>734686712
>>734686317
Hostility will make honest people shy away very quickly, i'm not trying to be and ass and I know it's /b/, so only if that reflects the way you would respond irl

Killyourself

>>734680940

what degree was it?

>>734687209
the FUCK is nü/b/ please god don't tell me its another reddit type of shit

>>734679711
I dont care if you kill yourself but thanks for those amazing tits

>>734686933
ur a faget

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>>734687209
yes

>inb4 hurr durr GTFO my b you leddit fag

>>734686927
Dedication and ethic trumps personality, you fucking child. Do you want a trophy or a housewife and life partner?

>>734687225

i don't see how the second one is hostile. sarcastic, maybe, but it looks valid.

>>734684936
Thing is, you don't pass. Your voice is that weird tranny voice and your body is manly. Someone calling you miss is just trying to be kind. I try to be police to trannies I meet. But they don't pass and neither do you.

Let me eat your ass OP before you kill yourself at least, and maybe take a hot steamy dump on my chest while you're at it.

>>734686927

are you the person who said "sex is just sex"? cause that's massively hypocritical.

if not, you're just some random retard who doesn't understand that the adults are talking.

>>734687465
really, please tell me more

>>734687698
seek therapy

>>734684368
Not the tranny, but since you agree that we all feel like shit and life sucks, i'm interested. What makes it worth it to deal with the shitstorm every day brings? I am having a hard time feeling like it is worth it to keep trying because I constantly feel empty inside

Women should surrender themselves to the first male that approaches, but only if they are exactly like me, and if they don't them they all are slut whores. Fuck women because I can't compete and don't want to learn to respect others.

In a sexless and joyless marriage... I'm not sure if there's even love anymore.

I'm almost 40, overweight, and balding... so I doubt I'll be able to find anyone decent.

Plus we have nieces and nephews that I don't know if I would be able to visit again if we got divorced. (Pretty sure the family would be vindictive)

We've been struggling with infertility and a few miscarriages... which I'm pretty sure helped lead to this current situation, though she's never really been that sexual.

We've been together over 15 years, I've gotten all of 2 blowjobs in that time... and for anyone with the "Blowjobs...meh" attitude... I understand, but god dammit... It's been like 8 years since the last one.

I'm pretty sure she's suffering from depression... but won't see a psychiatrist / take more than the most minimal dose of one... she doesn't want to be one of "those" people (I'm one of "those" people). Any sort of criticism send her into an ultra-defensive yet aggressive mood.

I finally got her to agree to couples counseling... but she's defensive / in denial... I don't know how the first appointment is actually going to go.

It's been like this for a long time... If she actually did say "I don't love you anymore" or "I'm not feeling like this is working" it would probably be a relief... but whenever I try to talk to her about things it's always "I do love you, I do want to have sex more, I'm sorry for ______"... So I guess I'm just going to hang out ignored and complacent... right now just counting down the days until I die.

>>734687951

shit man, that's tough. how explicit have you gotten with her? "we need therapy cause this marriage is miserable" or what?

>>734687521

Wtf are you talking about? Personality trumps everything else. I don't care how rich or attractive a woman is if she's as interesting as a piece of carpet and can't even hold a conversation half as well as said carpet.

>>734687772

Yeah, but now I see the problem. We both got confused by each other. I meant "sex is just sex," as in it's really not important. Banging randoms is basically just assisted masturbation, boring. It's only meaningful when gay shit like love and trust is involved.

>>734687913

I wish I could tell you, man, because that's exactly how I am. I just keep existing every day because I'm too much of a pussy to shoot myself. Plus, I keep holding out very trace amounts of hope that something miraculous might happen and fix my problems, but it hasn't happened yet.

>>734687951
Good luck with counseling, it should help her see your side of things more clearly if the counselor picks up on the situation correctly. Hurts to hear anon, best of luck to you.
>tell ur wife to 420 blaze it
>it might help a little

>>734688341

alright anon, my bad. i can understand where you're coming from with that.

>>734688341
A woman with "good personality" cannot explore, only agree and make you feel good about yourself. Which is what most people want, they hate being challenged (esp men by women). Every normie wants to make everyone else their nigger.

Nothing new.

>>734688842

bruh u are giving off a big virginity vibe

maybe shave off some of that neckbeard and all that edgy teenage angst and go get lade, then u might understand

Daily reminder that a used shotgun costs under $100, retail costs $200

>>734688328

I've been pretty explicit about my misery... A couple days ago I told her most of what I said above... including that I'm basically just counting the days until I die... and she kind of got angry at me, but more like it was insulting to HER rather than it being fucked up that I have no joy in living.

Now I pretty much just fake being happy and interested in stuff... and most of the time that's good enough for her... until the times I go really over-fake when she's being extra shitty.

>>734688471

Yeah, we went to see one and the counselor was ready to jump on me being an asshole... like, leading questions for her.

She's anti-pot unfortunately... So I can't even try medicating with it. It would probably do her a world of good, she's ridiculously uptight.

>>734689184
No, you assume that muh personality cult, muh fun factor, is greater than anything. It's because you grew up in an infatalising culture of comic books and cartoons and videogames. You have no concept of creating real value and living by your own terms.

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>>734689522

the fuck are you talking about

okay big guy what do you find attractive then? and when you tell me I will point out why it's wrong even though it's just an opinion and doesn't matter, but you still felt the need to talk shit about mine so have a taste of your own medicine, lil guy

>>734689728
>endless nihilism
This is why you underage faggots are rejected from modern society. You refuse to understand the nuts and bolts, as if it is a big old emotional manipulation festival...and somehow everything is good if everyone would follow my rules and wants

I'm done trying to appease people or "do good". Everything I do from here on out I do so I can afford to blow my brains out in a nice, comfortable location, and have no one find my corpse.

>>734688341

Certain personalities trump everything else.

Some girls sound very conversational and pleasing at first. Sometimes you realize they're telling the same stories. Sometimes you realize they're never asking about you or your interests.

I totally agree with the assisted masturbation analogy, but random hookups are a mixed bag. I've been in 3 hookup situations (I'm not a player by any stretch, just have periods of hypomania). In each of them, the chick would go from "Fuck me, then I'll fuck someone else, then another, then you. I don't give a fuck". Let me hold that thought. If a woman were just like that, it would have been manageable. A bit stressful (for me), but I'd have coped. So, they'd go from that to "Answer your phone at 5PM, I fucking need you emotionally" to "I don't have to talk to you every day, Jesus Christ"

The worst of the three was a nice girl. I mean, she was legitimately good inside her heart (she'd walk 10 miles for you) and she'd throw her body around for boys and she'd cry and it was just what she was used to. I actually tried making it more serious, but... it didn't happen for reasons I'm still scratching my head over.

At least with masturbation, you can start and stop when you want and you don't have to pretend to reciprocate

>>734690268

That's one of the worst things about suicide... and one of the things keeping me from it... The fact that somebody is going to find me, have to identify my body, etc.

I've known several people that have killed themselves and it's always a good friend or family member that find them... fucks things up.

>>734690622
I guess it was no loss if no one really needed them, right?

>>734690622
>fucks things up
I'm sure it does, but, these days I wonder if
>I
care anymore.

Nobody cares until something is missing, or until something has gone wrong. I get that this is the common state for things, but... I've never been made to feel more alone, never felt more disenchanted and dejected in my entire waking life. How I've lived, as I'm sure a lot more people have, it's as if I shouldn't even try to reach what I can clearly grasp. I've wasted my time being alive in this shit-hole of a place, trying to make good of opportunities that could be likened to accidental, if nothing else. By the time I've "lived my life", where the full length of green-ness, angst, and naivete has worn off, everyone around me who remotely knows me, even today, will most likely be dead or in advanced age. Everyone else will think I'm dead if I don't keep in contact with them. People who see me in the background of their own personal narrative will never know me intimately enough to worry about whether or not I'm dead. There will be no one.

It's my final, pointless "fuck you", maybe more than it is an attempt to prevent trauma. Denying those who'd look me in the eye and trivialize my mere existence, day after day, the chance to mourn/faux-mourn over me, teaching them the same damned lesson that has to be taught time and again and again, while I get my peace.

>>734691141
That's how I want to take it. Nothing gained, nothing lost. Sad thing is, I've done too much in other peoples' lives to be forgotten so easily. Everyone's human.

That's what hurts the most. Won't hurt forever, though.

bump

I know /b/ wants to kill itself

>>734679711
Well sunrise, sunset.
Guess you got exactly what you wanted from me.
Now you found someone who can do things better(more money, better car, bigger place).
And I'm useless to you now.
Im used to being exploited then abandoned any way.
Everything your ex said about you is true.
You do use people, you are slut, and you are shady.
You have no conscious, or regard for anyone but yourself.
You are everything you hate, you just can't see it. Or maybe you do and that's why you are so quick to criticize others.
So go ahead and waste this poor fools time and drain him of money, time, sanity and resources.
There no such thing as a "nice girl" anymore. Actually I don't think there ever was such a thing.

I'm sick of this shit.
Im hurt and angry.

>>734692339
Sorry the courts hate you