Best sex ever? Tell stories about the best sex you've ever

None of this happened. Go fuck yourself.

>>734674448
lmao how many times did you jerk your dick while you were fabricating this?

200 I bet!! Haaaaaaa! Nerd.

>>734674913
Whatever you say faggot. Sorry I'm not beta

>>734674448
Of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most.

Can you prove it happened?

>>734674448
Today on "Almost got quads and things that never happened".

>>734675055
>>734675168
>>734675194
I'm sorry, do you fags not have any sex stories to share?

>be me
>have gf
>did sex
Shit was cash
Also, Op, nobody fucks moms in highschool
Especially not a fat aspie like yourself.

>>734675249
Does it fucking matter? If I REALLY had to I could probably manage to find a picture of us kissing but fuck off

>>734675621
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.

>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact
pics or it didnt happen

>>734675464
I was 22 dumb ass. I said after high school. And 220 at 6'1 isn't that fat. I put on like 30lbs

>Last night.
>The woman I wanted since 8th grade is laying in my bed because her boyfriend isn't anymore.
>Hold me anon.
>Am I pretty anon?
>Why did he treat me like dirt anon?
>Hold me
>Why are you such a good friend anon?
>Fall asleep together.
>This morning.
>Thanks for letting me whine last night anon.
>Ding, a message over facebook.
>Where are you bitch?
>Anon, does your phone have a camera?
>Yep.
>Take off your clothes, I need a few pictures.
>70 pictures of my dick in her holes, sent one at a time.
>Last photo was us waving goodbye.
>Best morning ever.

>>734675391
> be me, in high school
> be a nerdy guy, playing my vidya
> one day, I'm going back from school, playing on my PSP
> while passing one shitty looking house, some older lady who looked kinda hot waved at me to come over to her
> I go, she asks me what I'm playing
> I say "eh just some Patapon 3"
> she says she loves that game, especially when the little mushroom says the princess is in another castle
> asks if I wanna get some food and drinks
> sure, whynot.jpeg, I was hungry
> she makes me a sammich, tastes great
> suddenly she undresses
> kneels and starts unzipping me
> starts sucking my dick like a champ
> we move it to bedroom, fuck for three hours total
It was OP's mom.

>>734675728
Wow somebody on 4chan actually isn't a virgin? Impossible is what I'm getting here

Yes it matters. If you don't prove it you simply slip into a faceless sea of cunts who lie about sexual conquests on this website. If you prove it you add some substance to your story. You distance yourself from the lies that breed here. You become a true hero, a man who shagged an old girl and proved it. A man who shut down the doubters and became a hero. Prove it, or don't and prove you're a lying shady cunt. Your. Choice.

>>734675621
>If I REALLY had to I could probably manage to [Google] a picture of [some people] kissing but [that's too much trouble for my lies]

Also I have sex stories, I'm married. When you have pussy on tap you don't have to brag or fabricate

>>734675847
Why was her boyfriend laying in your bed before she was?

>>734675765
>Put on some weight since highschool
>implying op isn't a lardass

>>734676006
This. Only someone in a long relationship knows what it's like.
You think you're cool because you pulled some girl in a bar once, and had super shitty sex with her ( because fuck you, every time you have sex with someone new it sucks, the first couple of times even ) and you brag to your virgin friends about it ? Imagine having a literal sex slave who knows exactly what you enjoy, motherfucker.

>>734674448
>>734675171
>>734675391
>>734675464
>>734675506
>>734675621
>>734675765
>>734675884

This is the glorious shit summer brings us