6h till my first psychiatrist visit. I intend to tell everything

its just a doctor. you tell him what hurts you and he gives you drugs

>>734300954

nothing. this guy cant help you. its just a process to learn how to help yourself. all psychiatrists are faggots. they just see the money and when they talk with you, they think about fucking young girls.

he will may give you some pills, and then FUCK YOU

>>734300954
it won't help
he will just pretend he cares about your problems
then after your session he will forget about you

>>734301067
I want to finally start living, not being on drugs.

>>734301227
What am I supposed to do?

I do not have money for psychologist and therapy... I also need a prescription for a therapy at psychologist...

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u be 200$ lighter in the wallet and they'll prescribe you another 100$ worth of meds that will turn you into a fucking zombie, goodluck though.

psychiatrist and psychological treatment are a damn ripoff
you basically just pay a person to act as he\she gives a fuck about your problems
fuck that man
go to your bestfriend if you dont have any tell your parents about your problems
i know is sounds faggoty but trust me it's better and they actually gives a fuck about you unlike some random psychiatrist you paid

>>734301305

there are two options:

stop whining and start doing. get hobbies, alone. search others with the same interest, talk with them, feel better.

or just kill yourself. a therapy/psychologist WONT help you. its just costs you alot of money, and there are no results. if they can cure you and have a design for curing problems, they would have no job anymore. think about it

go buy a goldfish.

>>734300954
>>suicidal thoughts
kill yourself
>>preparations to suicide
just do it
>>nihilism
>>no strenght to wake up/get up/take a shower/work/learn/do anything
take pills
>>crying without and with reason
just stop to think about it
>>pain in the chest like a black hole
>>feeling like shit/human trash/worthless/useless scum
you are
>>sleeping all day if possible
why?
>>angry/sad/happy rollercoaster
why?

>>734301783
>>734301922
nice aspergers

>>734301922
doesnt help anon
>>734300954
OP just take drugs

>>734301771
I have been talking to my fiancee a few times now. I got this feelings and thoughts for at elast 3-4 years now. I am slowly becoming unable to live.

Parents know shit. I have no friends.

>>734301783
Hobbies that I used to have are gone. I no longer take pleasure from running, playing vidya, reading books etc.

>>734302034
Will drugs cure me and I will have normal life? SOmething will change for good?

>>734302014
>aspergers
you are just stupid.

when he wants to kill himself, why just do it? there are too many people whining about killing. JUST DO IT. you will see... there are just a few who kill themselves. but they do not whine about it, they just do it. this whining about killing... just another word for "i want anyone to help me"

just help yourself. this is the only way to solve problems. nobody will help no, never. when you talk with friends more than once about something like that, they will never speak with you again. they cant handle your problems. the only one who can is you.

>>734300954
sounds like a standard depression to me.

I'm dealing with that shit for years now

>>734302266
>you are just stupid.
>when he wants to kill himself, why just do it? there are too many people whining about killing. JUST DO IT. you will see... there are just a few who kill themselves. but they do not whine about it, they just do it. this whining about killing... just another word for "i want anyone to help me"
>just help yourself. this is the only way to solve problems. nobody will help no, never. when you talk with friends more than once about something like that, they will never speak with you again. they cant handle your problems. the only one who can is you.

>taking an attention desperate seriously
i could def be stupid but looking at you gives me some confidence, if you can make it then anyone can.

>>734300954
I was where you are now man, im still working hard to beat it. I got on fluoxetine(prozac in America)

Started working out, got my driving license, got a job, started doing things that meant I was around people more often.

Now im dating again and trying to rebuild my life. Mental illness is tough but you have to learn to swim or you'll sink like a stone.

Itried therapy, didnt work. Tried killing myself 3 times, didn't work. Once I realised I didnt have the balls to kill myself I realised I was trapped and to deal with my problems. Thought of suicide was like an escape, an out if things ever got too hard yeno.

Therapy didnt work for me, the only thing that did was helping myself. Good luck I mean that.

>>734300954
I've had the same thing. Depression. I didn't go to a psychiatrist, I went to my real doctor, got meds that work. Haven't had real problems since

>>734300954
be kind to yourself, anon

>>734301305
>not drugs

Nigga you might have a chemical imbalance in your brain

Seek help and start eating right and get enough motion

>>734302922
If I may ask, how is it to try to kill yourself and not succeed? I just haver no idea. Do not tell me if you do not want. The point is... I considered many things and just own a revolver and I guess when time eventually comes one shot in the head is enough. SO far fighting that desire...

How the drugs work? Never been on them.

>>734302992
So, basically meds are just the thing you say? I thought psychotherapy is better. But since I have no money for it, I am going to a psychiatrist.

I saved up money for 1 visit, cause on my "free" medical healthcare I would have to wait half a year at least.

>>734300954
I went to a psychiatrist once. On my fifth visit I told him I was a raging faggot who sucks cock non stop.

He told me to go post threads on /b/.

>>734303398
I remember you!

have no problems with it, i get my money, thats fine for me.

>>734303238
As I said I didnt have the balls, first time tried to hang self, tied rope and wasted time until I got a phone call from someone, told them everything. Second time was going to jump off a bridge, remembered I pussied out first attempt so bought a shit load of whiskey got drunk thinking id get pissed off and do it. Instead beat some randomer up and woke up in a cell. Third time I got a train to a coastal town, trhought id jump off a cliff, itd be quick. Was really determined this time so sat there at the cliff edge for hours. Eventually got dark and I fell asleep.

Anyway, I wouldnt concern yourself with that shit. Trust me, you wont do it man just work on making yourself better and stop wasting your time. You still have time to live your dream, im half way there

>>734303238
The drugs just give u energy, you have to use that energy to make yourself happier btw

>>734303719
faggot

>>734300954
a trip to the psych ward retard.

>>734303839
Ask your mum buddy

>>734300954
>being able to cry

>>734300954
>suicidal thoughts
You don't actually want to kill yourself, you just want an escape from life's problems and that is the easiest path to it you see
>nihilism
Honestly there's nothing wrong with this. I'ts up to you to assign meaning to life. I became a nihilist and life is a lot less stressful for me.
>no strength to wake up/get up/take a shower/work/learn/do anything
By strength I'm assuming you mean motivation. Yes it's hard to get things done when you aren't motivated to do them. Like I said before, you have to assign meaning to the things you do. I personally like to be clean and I find that my general physical appearance looks much better if I shower often, so I do, because I like to look good. I also read a lot and educate myself on different things at my leisure. As for work, if you have a job already you should consider all the amazing things you can do and buy with your money. If you can't afford it, consider getting into a situation where you are spending less money to live, or get a raise/better paying job.
>crying without reason, pain in chest like a black hole, feeling like shit/human trash/worthless/useless scum
The reason you cry is because of these things. Your image of yourself is low because of you lack of motivation and progress. You don't feel fulfilled as you are, and you blame yourself for it, and thus you start to hate yourself for that reason.
>sleeping all day if possible
Most likely because you have nothing to do or look forward to during the day, so you sleep because it's easier than being awake. If you find yourself awake during the night a lot, then it could be you're just a night person. Adjust your schedule accordingly.
>angry/sad/happy rollercoaster
These varying emotions are again linked to the internal strife within yourself, caused by yourself and your lack of fulfillment in life.

There is no easy answer to these problems, but i'll tell you this: You must put your personal happiness above all else, no matter what.

>>734300954
At least 72 hours in a psych ward probably two weeks tho

if you tell them you are planning to kill yourself, they will probably hospitalise you

>>734300954
psychiatrists hand out drugs psychologists work you through problems, up to you bro both work and don't work depending on you, if you are being for real sounds like meds would help a lot, just work on slowly lowering the dosage over time to find your balance....btw iam a clin psych have fun

>>734303813
The thing is, I do not know what I want to do, what or who I want to be. I do not know what should I learn/try/got into. I have no idea. I am like blank page in this case. All I want is money, but I have no skills and I am useless in modern society. No IT/programming/medical skills. I am 26yo - beyond college and formal education cause I am too poor to afford it and have no time due to shitty job that pays around $360 a month. I can;t even rent a room for that. If not parents' would be homeless now. How am I gonna be happier with energy, if I have no idea where to put this energy into?

>>734303719
I was once driving full car speed on highway and corners and I wanted to crash on tree or something. Been also at same time talking on sucidal hotline. I do not quite remember, but I slowed down and stopped car after the woman on the phone said something. Fuck, can't remember what.

Now I own a revolver, if I will make a decision, I will do that. I just want to try psychological help. But to be honest, I guess I am beyond saving., See what I wrote to the anon above. No fucking chance for me I guess...

When I think about that, this fucking black hole under my heart and lungs trying to vacuum everything. It hurts, heart beats faster and I can;t stop thinking and thinking. Sigh me off that rollercoaster.

>>734301783
Curing vs treating whaaaat?

they are a waste of time, they cant help with anything imo. they are just as knowledgeable as you already are.

>>734300954
alright i happen to know abit about on how this works. And thats while i really should go to therapy and wont fucking do it lol.

There is no standard solution like these anons are suggesting like meds for example. Some just need therapy, some need a combination of therapy and meds, some wont respond to therapy because they dont want to and will rely on meds. What i have been told is the most important thing a good therapist will do for you is, listen to you and make you talk. by talking you will start to reflect on yourself and only in this way you will start to see through the chaotic fog that clouds your mind and change. A good therapist will guide you through the process and a bad one wont, isnt able to. this guy you are going to ,( a psychiatrist?) will propably refer you to one of his colleagues depending on his idea of you.

tldr; the most important thing for you is the will to change and to work with your therapist, and i think you have that.

Good luck bro

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>>734300954
ANON WAIT
IF YOU TELL THEM YOU'RE PREPARING SUICIDE THERES A 90% YOU'LL GET HOSPITALIZED
YOU DON'T BELONG THERE TRUST ME
JUST GET MEDICATION FOR YOUR DEPRESSION

>>734304448
this.

>>734300954
> What should I expect after this guys?
Help.

But seriously. Psychiatrist is supposed to prevent you from hurting yourself or others. If you tell them you are actively preparing for suicide, they will take you in until the meds start working. Beware of that.

If you have anything that could get derailed by involuntary stay on a suicide ward (job, reputation, SO), you may want to reconsider how much information you give them. Say you are having suicide thoughts, but so far you have not acted upon them. That will get you meds, and a pat on the back to "hold on a while longer" until the meds kick in.

After that, find a fucking psychologist. What the fuck are you doing talking to a psychiatrist in a first place?

Also, if you are currently supplementing L-Tryptophan or 5HTP, tell them. They have can have serious side effects when used alongside anti-depressants.

>>734304659
I do not want to go to the hospital. Hospitals here are like prison or worse.

If I end up in hospital, I will end up fucking dead for sure, or worse - mentally totally destroyed.

Hospital is something I fear fucking a lot.

>>734304812
it's pretty shit, but on the bright side you don't have to worry about real life, until you get out

>>734304808
I can't go to psychologist without a prescription from another doctor (may be even surgeon, kek). Yes, this is fucking europe. And even after I got prescription I would have to wait a couple of months at finest.

I saved up for 1 psychiatrist visit. Maybe he will give me a prescription to spsychologist but again, no money to go for therapy.

So, shouldn't I be honest and tell that sometimes I seat with my revolver pointed at my head? That it gives me relief?

>>734305012
what country you in bro

>>734305195
poland... help me out...

>>734302393
Kek

>>734301922
We have an aspie here!
You should consider to kill yourself.

>>734305239
Bro call your insurance company. Tell them you need to see a psychologist. They will get you a date! Trust me, it was the same for me. I only waitet for like 1 month. Do it. Do it now! Call them, ask them!

>>734305456
>poland
>insurance company

Nice... I do not have one. Oh, wait, my taxes for that are going to govermnment, I should call them!

>>734300954
>What should I expect after this guys?

>> you should exept not much

WE EXEPT A NEW HERO WITHIN THE NEXT WEEKS

>>734305012
I happen to be Yuropoor as well, but in this case I'd probably pay for a private session first, if you can. There's a chance they will refer you to a Psychiatrist who does not suck balls, and will write you a prescription for future sessions. if you can't, go for the psychiatrist option.

I will be dead honest with you. If you are that far gone, you may want to tell them about the gun.

Let me give you a choice. Muster up enough strength, and put the gun to a police deposit. Don't know how much it costs over there, but over here it won't cost you much more than a bottle of booze. It is a service used when you happen to own a firearm, but don't have a license. For example after inheritance. They have to take it in, and you should not have to specify a reason why you are depositing it. If they ask, tell them you will be traveling a lot in next few months and don't want to keep it in self-storage.

If you can't do that, tell the psychiatrist. They will take it away from you, along with your gun license. You will miss it, but it is better than hole in your head.

>>734304161
Join the Army

>enlist in literal military

Direction, skills, are standard issue

>>734301220
The first part of this.

You're likely going to speak to someone with natalistic, pro-life moral and ethical imperatives who derives self-worth from casting themselves as a helper of the so-called less fortunate.

Best of luck, yo. You'd be better off just ending it. At least it'd be over then.

>>734302241
A lot of people are saying they don't care and they just want your money, but that's not true for all of them. A good majority of them will probably take genuine interest in you and will really want to help, and yes medication can help. It's always just a matter of finding the right combination of meds that work for you, sometimes it just takes a few tries cos everyone's brain chemistry is different. A friend of mine had to quit her job because her meds weren't working, but recently she got on the right combination of meds and she's doing great

>>734305561
What also comes with Army is bullying and being around plentiful of readily available implements of death.

Yeah, I can see how that will help OP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc2cPuwpqTg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7E_4c_s9y8
Jordan peterson may help..

>>734305868
I got these thought because of my current job too. So quiting my job would help a lot. I am looking for a new one (haven't been writing now cause had phonecall about a job). I just do not want to go there anymore.

>>734305549
Working as city guard officer. I can;t just put my private revolver into police deposit. Not in poland.

They can;t take it away from me cause I do not need a license to have it. I just went to a gun shop and bought it for my ID in Warsaw. It is like owning a computer, fishing rod etc. Will they also take knives, forks etc.?

It is upon me if I use it or not.

BTW. I fucked up phonecall I guess, stressed out, part of the conversation was in english and my english is a bit rusty cause have no one to talk to in it in real life. Fuck. I am human trash.

don't be an idiot. you are creating a gov't record. just stick with the don't want to get up and do anything story, the end result will be the same, as if you said all that other shit. SSRI meds.

>>734306603
shut up idiot.

what you need is good therapist trust me.
as to become clear with yourself and fulfill your real wishes in life

>>734306841
im sorry didnt mean to call you idiot, but it just makes me angry seeing you search for help ignoring advice and continuing to insult yourself as human trash.

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>>734306603
my 92 year old neighbor said something that i believe will help anyone

>>you need a goal
>>a reason to carry on

my goal is to see another woman flirt with me
i had one last december flirt with me at a supermarket checkout
i believe she was either Korean or Malaysian about 21
at the time i didn't know she was flirting with me
until i watched loads of vids on flirting
i could have been shagging her
but i fucked it up by being a fuckin autist

my point?

well if i a short fat piece of shit could've pulled a oriental beaut
then you as a hell of a lot younger guy can turn your life around

i go out every night on my bike
i have lost some weight
i fully intend to loose even more
i don't feel sorry for myself as much as i did
why ?
because i intend to turn my shitty existence into something different

although i disagree with the saying that life is what you make it, alot of who we are can be changed only by ourselves

>>734300954
just kill yourself before you appt. make sure you write that you couldn't cope with the stress of the psychiatrist visit in your suicide note

>>734307435
ye that's really going to help isn't it dickwad

>>734306841
>>734306950
I would love to find what I really want, for now it is money to be able to do some things that I was never able.

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>>734300954
Hahaha how can people be this attenshone fags hahaha kys alredy

>>734304161

Having no idea is the fucking blessing man not the curse.

You're a blank canvas. A really sad one. Understand that you can literally take a step in any direction from here and move forward in it.

Jesus man go jump out of an aeroplane or something and remind yourself what being alive is.

>>734301898
Actually I recommend getting a fish

>>734307503
you know im actually pretty similar to you i think.
also 26 and i am in avery bad way similar to yours, been like that for over 10 years its normal for me now.

only i am fortunate enough to have a family that supports me not only financaly but also is able to keep me from rock bottom. other than that i am a totala wreck with lots of potential which makes it even more sad.
What i want to do next is find love and this is a very hard thing for me to do.

>>734305239
poland? where is the problem. go to germany/sweden, there is everything for free for everyone

>>734307953
I think you do not understand my feelings. I mean... I am unable to do anything because something that I cannot name is holding me in pain in the chest, with black hole under heart in mind. I have no idea what it is. All I managed to do is do nothing for years. I have no money to start anything, no time cause shitty job, no possibilities cause fucked up basic education. I have no mathematical skills that are needed on job market (IT/accountants etc). I know nothing and can doi simply nothing. I sperged even fucking english conversation on a phonecall cause stressed out. Yet here I write as fast as in my native language. I am also not saying my english is good, it's average for a non native speaker I guess. But I may be wrong, you tell me.

I am blank canvas, yes. 26yo blank canvas. What is your honest opinion about 26yo blank canvas? "What has he been doing this whole time?"

I feel like I wasted my life. Everyday I see people my age driving fancy cars, living nice rich life, having good jobs, having friends... And 90% of them do not got rich parents etc. Trust me, checked.

I am a human failure and I am going to be honest with my psychiatrist. I would love to break that circle of sadness. But I just have no strenght/will/motivation to do so. Also, can't see the point.

Why even living poor, without good job, without providing something to society? It is not living, it is existing.

>>734307953
yes as a fellow blank canvas i aggree. It must be seen as a blessing. but now you still need to power to act, to mak progress in any direction and this is where the problem lies. and i think OP will make that progress with therapy.

>>734300954
more sessions
if you really seem like you're going to kill yourself they might detain you or whatever
maybe prescription drugs
unprecedented waste of money imo

>>734308616
ok yes be honest i agree with you.
you put yourself under immense pressure which results in depression and anxiety. which creates pressure and makes you unable to focus on anything. im glad you are going to resolve your problems. i can also suggest to you to not be so demanding of yourself and take it all with a bit of humor, not everything is a fucking funeral. dont you see the tragical comic in all of this.

tldr; Take it easy

>>734300954

>Implying there is any solution to these feelings other than constantly lying to all the people around you about how great things are.
>Being this fucking new

>>734309005
Honestly, all I can see now is me being human trash. A burder to society. I wonder why aren't we killing people like me? Modern society needs doctors, engineers, IT specialists, lawyers etc. not people like me who are 26yo and accomplished nothing. And it is not certain it may change for better.

Please, answer me this... And another one, why staying alive poor? What's the point? To suffer all years?

>>734309216
haha my friend im from germany. you should see hw many people especially poor refugees have no problem with beeing a fucking burden. they make you seem like the inventor of the steam engine or something (edison?)
Also you ddont want to save society. you want to make something that yo are content with, feel good with, or at least dont hate it on a daily basis.

Nothing is certain.

Also nothing is guaranteed! meaning value what you have even if you think its not enough. this might actually a nice key to happiness bro :)

Poor? Come on bro you know its not that bad and that you can easily fix it. it just needs some dedication, which you are in process of accquiring right now.

>>734308616
omg get on my level sunshine
44
5'3
weight 111.1301 kg 17.5 stone
can hardly walk cause of busted ankle/fucked up knees
when i was thinner i used to trip up and land hard
autistic as fuck

as i said last year was a fucking revelation
i intend to sort out what's wrong in my life

yes talk to a psychiatrist and let him guide you
don't give up cause of lifes bulshit and the shit your head tells you
to move forward sometimes we need to step back and look at our lives from a different prospective, as if we were someone else

people here take the piss because they also have things like compassion and understanding of others missing, they are the ones that also need to step back and look at what they look like from someone elses perspective

remember we don't always want to hear what others offer as advice or think of us, but sometimes it's what is needed

>>734309216
feels good talking about it yes? and it makes you break the eternal cycles of thinking in a tiny box and self degradation.

>>734309639
I think you mean a psychotherapist and its what the OP needs. I like the changing perspectives thing i do it sometimes. i call it zooming out

>>734300954
Do you excessively fap Op?
All the symptoms are there.