If you could go back in time and tell your 14 year old self anything

>>734241902
Always check their ID.

>>734241902
The anus is magical, start taking dick up it now, youre only a shota for so long...

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kill yourself it doesn't get any better

inside is yellow :)

Google "shota"

STOP BEING A PUSSY AND GET SOME PUSSY YOU FAGGOT!

Don't trust birth control.

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>>734241902
Katie is a bitch, stick to masturbating.

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>>734241902
>stop arguing with your parents so much
>start studying Mandarin
>start learning how to code
>you may *have* to join the Air Force after HS, but that's okay: just do 4 years, get out, and go to college
>stop caring about girls
>you're not gay, you're heteroflexible
>don't take too much heed to what your bio-dad's side of the family says; they'll abandon you by your mid-20s anyway
>You'll realize this in two years, but 'god' isn't real, and neither is jesus. become an atheist now
>also, Radical Ki doesn't work, so stop practicing it
>Dobby dies

You've just gone through with the worst year of your life, but there is light at the end of this dark tunnel. You're going to meet a girl that will change your life, be courageous and take risks. This girl loves you, truly, don't fuck things up with her. She wants to be your boyfriend, pay attention you fucking idiot. Do good in highschool and go to college. Your past will burn a hole in your heart, and you will become the person you said you'd never be. Your friends aren't your friends, but vipers waiting to strike, do not trust them. Most people are good, but keep them at arms length, you never know when people will turn on you.

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>>734241902
it's all down hill from here

>>734241902
For fuck's sake, stop yanking it so much

>>734241902
drop out asap, get a job in a factory, start stuffing stock into google, bitcoin, and apple

>>734241902
Buy 50,000 bitcoin and hold

>>734242255
>heteroflexible
fag

>>734242255

>heteroflexible

What are you, fucking gay

I would say, "videotape pulling up the bar, cause the mass extinction in the exhibit, webm it, and post it faggot"

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>>734242876
>>734242892
>What is 'heteroflexible?
It means that, while I'm primarily attracted to women and the feminine aesthetic (and femininity in general), I still like dick. Don't find men attractive, just the dicks. Naturally, this means I'm into 'traps.'

Buy all bitcoin you can and HODL, and also just fucking study constantly in stead of freaking out one day before exams

pull a back to the future 2 where i give my past self a book with all the sports games winners and all the winning horse races so i can make a shit ton of money

>>734243042
can relate

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>>734243138

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>>734243042
Gay.

>>734243042
Well that's fine, though I would say that's a particularly awful trap

don't smoke, just kill yourself already

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>>734243288
No. WHAT DID I JUST SAY, ANON?!

I like dicks, but not the men they tend to be attached to.

>>734243307
How about this one?

>>734243042
Exactly though, so you're fucking gay.
You can coat a giant turd with any spray or shit you want, but at the end of the day it's still a giant turd. Faggot.

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>>734243042
Why do you think that is, anon?
Can you remember the moment when you realized you liked dicks?

>>734241902
Stop being such a little bitch.
Get fit and learn Krav Maga or some shit.
You don't even have to win a fight, just show them that they'll have to expect a fight when they fuck with you.

>>734243042
so... gay ?

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>>734243458
No, see, I don't see myself having 'relations' with another man. Just doesn't get my sap rising like the idea of going steady with a woman (or trap). But, when it comes to sex, her having a dick is just all the more fun. Just not into the masculine figure.

>>734243484
Over 10 years ago, I think. Saw a show with Lisa-Raye playing the role of a transsexual sister of one of the main characters, and thought
>hey....I like that kind of porn, so why not just embrace the lifestyle?

>>734243690
No.

>>734243410
I guess I prefer ones that look like slutty women, but be you, anon

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>>734243813
But of course....

>>734243410
just the dick is gay
If you see someone suck flying dicks, is he aeroheteroflexible ? no, he is a fucking queer

you should've fucked her. and dude weed lma0

>>734241902
She really likes you. Stop being lazy and exercise more and study for your college exams, you can do a lot better. The girl sitting next to you has an aneurism, she will die next year in the middle of the class if it's not treated, good luck trying to fix that. 2010's New year lottery result will be 02 – 10 – 34 – 37 – 43 – 50.

Go to the dentist twice a year.
Eat healthy.
Say yes to that one girl.

>>734243735
I have a hard time understanding this, and I'm fucking gay.
You definitely aren't straight, but you really aren't gay either. Chick with dick isn't attractive to me because of the female appearance.
Then again, a man with a vagina wouldn't be attractive either.
Have you ever tried romance with a man? I know you "just like the dicks not the men" but have you confirmed this outside of porn.

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>>734243952
Put it this way.

Do you find pic related hot?

She has a masculine aesthetic, and if you do, some would consider you 'homoflexible' as a result.

You fucking degenerates need your own board

>>734241902
Nothing because I don't have a life full of regrets.

Stop eating so much you fat fuck

>>734241902
Your peers are popular retards, trying to fit in with them at your level of intelligence is untenable, you'll find much better people when you get to your 20's.

>>734244079
not hot /b/ro

how can I go back in time to an age I havent been yet

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>>734244075
>not quite gay, but not straight either
Again, 'flexible.'
>tried it with a man?
On a few occasions. As I've gotten older, my interest in dick alone has become more 'refined,' and this is further affirmed by my relations with CD's and TS' in the past.

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>>734244253
Well, I do....

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>>734244366
nice b8

it's not bate im 12

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>>734242255
>heteroflexible
So you, like, suck dicks while contortioning?

Actually go through with the plans you made to fuck 30 year old men on kik. Let them fucking fill. You. Up.

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>>734244966
lel, no. see>>734243042
It's pretty much, "mostly straight."

>>734244524
Other people call it bisexuality

Learn your maths.
Keep hacking, eventually you will wish you did.
Women are overrated, stick to waifus.
Don't lewd the dragon loli.

>>734245085
>mostly straight except I suck dicks

>>734241902
listen to your teachers
crush some pussy

>>734243735
Traps ARE gay, and liking traps means you ARE gay. Being in denial is bad, come out of the closet and you will have a better life.

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>>734245085
Lmao, nigga u gay.

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>>734245128
It's somewhat different from bisexuality. I'd say a more realistic version of it, because you admit that you like one side more than the other instead of pretending to like both equally.

>>734245253
>>734245261
Liking traps is not 'gay,' Anons.

>>734244524
>>not quite gay, but not straight either
How is this not just bi, but preferring female features

>>734241902
"Prepare your anus and grit your teeth son. You're about to be fucked by The Master of Time"

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>>734245364
Liking traps is gay.

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>>734245368
No you see it's "heteroflexible" so he can still have brewskis with the boys but suck dick on the side

>>734241902
Final Fantasy Versus XIII is going to be shit.

Pam really likes you if you would just pull your head out of your ass. BTW, it will save you one bad marriage and her two really bad marriages if you treat her like a human being and stay with her. Also BTW, those tits are still magnificent at 50 and her ass is unbeatable. Your ex is a pig.

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>>734245368
"Bi" is a lie; it pretends you like both biological sexes equally, when in fact, you'll always have more of a bias for one over the other.

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>>734241902
The Holocaust is a lie. Read up on the Kalergi plan. Ashkenazi Jews are trying to genocide you with mass immigration and miscegenation. Hitler was right.

>>734243042
fag

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>>734244892
>Being retarded enough to have "bait" spelled out in front of you and still misspell it.
>Typing is so bad it's like you're trying to type bad

Nice try but your b8 is so obvious it isn't even funny.

don't ask her out. if you do be an actual good fucking boyfriend

>>734241902
on september 11th, visit the world trade center.

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>>734245698
You know that these "fake photos" were faked by Holocaust deniers to produce an argument for themselves, right? Those photos never made it into a serious publication regarding war crimes or anything, they just show up on /pol/ and other shitty places on the internet once in a while.

>to study more and maybe the awnsers of medical school test to enter it.
>mom have cancer lurk it
>sister will turnout in a lesbian and the relation will break apart, stop it by lurking some goodboy for her
>tell dad everything gonna be okey
>stop uncle from cheating aunt
>give advanced suport to gay bff so he maybe will not turn in some a pseudo sjw
>buy bitcoins kid

>>734242054
this is nothing sexy or enjoyable about anal from either side. people that like it are into shit and skat. please gas yourself

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>>734246079
Shekel for your thoughts, shlomo.

Africa for the Africans.
Asia for the Asians.
Israel for the Jews.
Europe for everyone else.

>>734246350
>Stop liking things I don't like.

let that rich dude fuck you for 850€, you'll need the cash a few months later

Go to the fucking dentist.

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>>734246079

if you could reason with /pol/burners, there would be no /pol/burners newfriend. that was a quarantine board created to keep the glen beck alex jones shills from spamming /b/ all day to promote their shill websites for clicks.

since then, he has just become a breeding ground for refined propaganda which they spam all over the internet in order to generate more ad revenue for their masters.

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>>734246079
>Women sex blah blah

>>734246430
>t. skat porn enthusiest

>>734246608
It's called scat and fuck no, literal shit is disgusting.

>>734241902
Stop eating junkfood. Seriously.
>PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN. NOW!
Go lift weights n shit, build up muscle. It will be worth it.

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>>734246573

>$0.02 has been deposited into your PayPal

>>734246608
So, people into vaginal sex have a menstruation fetish?

>>734242087
Same

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>>734241902
>Don't worry too much about those girls or guys who make fun of you on a daily basis.
>in 14 more years, you'll have the last laugh, I promise you.

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>>734246511
t. self-hating cuck

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>>734246793
>mfw gay republican

>>734246874

>in 14 more years, you'll have the last laugh, I promise you

by doing what? getting all the leftovers after the rest of us were done with it?

protip; I was that jackass bully in highschool and I'm still laughing at you now.

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>>734246910

t. romani 14yo shill

>>734242054
this

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>>734247066
Probably has something to do with achieving real success instead of easy pussy and shortsighted ventures

>mfw you call yourself a jackass
Are you one of those proud degenerates?

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>>734247066
More like by *not* doing what.

So many of them have kids and are having money/relationship troubles (with only a handful of them being in marriage, many of which are just sham-marriages). The rest are either in jail, have a record, have some illness or STD, or are living generally mediocre lives.

I on the other hand have lived on the other side of the planet in my early-20s, did quite a bit before and even after that point, and still have no responsibilities to anyone other than myself. I can fap, get paid, game, and do pretty much whatever without needing the approval of the state or some crazy ex-wife/baby-mother. My last gf is a single mother of 2, and weighs around 350 lbs with a GED.

Believe me: I'm laughing at them.

>>734247302
thought I wouldn't find you, huh goy?
reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>734247066
See you at Walmart tomorrow around 1pm

>>734246710
>>734246815
>t. sodomite scat enthusiasts
you sick fucks need to be gassed.

>>734247418
>Icky
Whatever man, deal with it

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Study math all the time and suck more cocks

>>734247418
I'm not even that into anal, I just don't think people should be killed for doing stuff I don't personally enjoy.

>>734243042
youre so deep in the fucking closet your mom bought a new faggot to ruin

Convince your dad to invest your college fund in Enron, you'll make a killing next year.

You should get into fine arts studies, focusing on contemporary dance, consider women's studies as a minor.

Support Anthony Weiner, he'll be the greatest since Washington

>>734242087
Beat me to it

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>>734247302
>achieving real success
a job is a job, bro. I don't care how you plan on placing it in your GOD TIER JOBS meme.
>instead of easy pussy
are you a wizard harry?
>shortsighted ventures
I call them "adventures" and the shortsightedness of them is what keeps it fresh and financially worthwhile.

>are you one of those proud degenerates
not as proud as you are of being a beta male still clinging to that nonsense your mommy told you about how being a social hand grenade in high school would somehow make you an awesome person when you are 30.

pic related
>mfw

>>734247587
Why do you hate yourself that much anon?

>>734247402

I don't shop there dude, I can afford to go to an actual grocer. but hey man, stick with it. they wont have you working as a greeter forever.

Stay the fuck away from relationships. Especially with Hope and Ashley. Fucking happiness killed forever kiddo.

Things aren't as bad as they seem. Your friends are not your friends, only cogs on a wheel that will splinter away. Plow Michelle as hard and as often as you can, she turns out bi and worth keeping around. Pass the BAR like you planned, become the lawyer. Invest in cryptocurrency and real estate, someone is always looking for a place to live.

>>734247852
It's just a prank, bro

>>734241902
weed's not the devil you'll like it and use it responsibly

>>734246079
https://youtu.be/_c9oIVwDM6Q

>>734241902
create "if you could go back in time and write yourself a letter" thread
>>734234191

>>734248089
>Pranking yourself into a lower socio economic class and intentionally screwing up your work life.
Dang anon, when you prank you don't pull any punches.

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>>734241902
"As bad as it is now, it only gets worse. Opt out."

Microsoft, Apple and McDonald's

>>734248294
>into a lower socio economic class
if he swung into videogame journalism (no qualifications requires) he could get millions
>peer pressure makes him trans

>>734246350
Seiously I had 2 GFs that found it really exiting, the two have asked me at least once to fuck them there.

And yea, I like having a finger or two in my ass when they suck me

You may not like it but trust me, some enjoy it

>>734241902
You end up married and happy and your wife does anal.

>>734248489
>steals Brianna Wu's rich Chinese husband before he can marry that monstrosity.

that man doesn't have puppies nor does he have sweets.

>>734242087
This.
Also:
Don't ask her out, it was better not knowing.

>>734241902
Yes, you can make money with computers. Try programming. No, don t think about raping that girl.

>>734242255
> Radical Ki

My sides

>>734247688
I stopped comparing myself to others long ago, I simply replied with observations about people I knew who had your attitude.
Job is a job is a job but they have different outcomes. Don't fool yourself. Mcdonald's is a job, great if you want to eat cat food in retirement.
I'm not even the anon you originally replied to and had a typical HS experience. Just didn't waste my life or use others as an ego supplement

figure out what the fuck you want to do after Hig school

>>734248542
A GF of mine liked it. It's no big deal for me, though -- it's okay, but nothing beats pussy,

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>>734247883
>Spends extra money to seem cool instead of building a dependable portfolio

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>>734241902
Don't get a computer.

>>734244045
well that's fucked...

>>734248784
>Hig school
Is that like Hick School?

>>734248784
*during high school and immediately act on it after you graduate high school, just to get a fucking entry level job so you can get on your feet and keep moving forward in life.

>>734241902
You know those algebra, physics & trig classes you don't plan on taking? Yeah...you need to take them.

>>734248489
So in other words, Brianna Wu is the only person we know of, who has managed to go back in time and fuck themselves over, only to get semi back on top?

>>734247514
Solid advice actually

>>734241902
When Tanya the cheerleader flirts with you and says she wants to go out with you, she IS NOT TEASING YOU. She actually does want the D. Do NOT reject her the way you're thinking of or you will regret it the rest of your life.

>found this out 20 years too late and she only got hotter.

>>734248783

Do you have any idea how much a manager at McDonalds makes? And almost all of them started there by sweeping floors and making fries. its not about how much money you make, its about how much money you save that dictates your retirement. all jobs have the same outcome given the same circumstances. an employed McDonalds worker is better off than an unemployed stock broker.

>just didn't waste my life or use others as an ego supplement [sic]

every single time I have ever had to work with anyone or be around anyone who was totally inept, rude, and boorish they were some kind of social outcast in school. you act like making friends and experiencing young love is somehow the act of a selfish neanderthal who will grow up doomed to "pump gas" or "flip burgers." when in truth, there is only one person here who ended up probably being a degenerate, weasel of a human being who tries to make themselves feel better about their life by gloating over the imagined misfortunes of people they didn't like in highschool.

>>734249468

dude, same happened to me but the exact opposite result. her hips shot out 5 feet in either direction right after highschool. I dodged a fking bullet

>>734249496
>All jobs have the same outcome
Are you even thinking?
Consider what factors affect the amount of money one could possibly save.
>Is income one of those factors?
Of the two employees (McManager and stock broker) who do you think has a higher income.
Who has better future prospects? McManager has no upward mobility. They're peaking. Stock broker is just getting started and isn't in management yet and likely has a better salary than mcmanager.

As I said I had a typical HS experience. But when friends wanted to skip class, smoke weed and dick around I just waited until after school. After responsibilities. Those people always skipping and shit barely graduated.

Really, I didn't like you from the first "I'm a jackass" post.

>>734241902
HOLD THE DOOR!

Start buying silver any time it's below $10 per ounce, ESPECIALLY when it's near $5 oz.
Buy buy buy
You should be able to get a few hundred pounds by 2006.

>>734250395
FUCK YOU
>Ctrl f, hold the... DAMMIT

>>734241902
Okay listen, this is important:
May 7, 2017
Someone will trade you for your unusual victory lap taunt in TF2
He's a scammer who will call in another scammer to be a "moderator"
You don't need a "moderator" for trading unusuals. That shit's retarded.

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>>734250285

And I didn't like you the moment you were born. Fuck off, we're full.

The very fact that you are still focused on potential income is pretty typical of the kind of person I have been railing against this whole time. You said earlier that you don't compare yourself to other people, but I like how you kept referring to them as "McManagers" which we both know denotes that you see them as being beneath you. You say that they are "peaking" and I honestly don't know what you mean by that, other than to again imply that their position in life is inherently lowly and dead end.

Then you go ahead and mention your degenerate friends, as if they somehow represent anyone other than themselves. Smoking weed, cutting class, and dicking around? Doesn't sound like a jock bully, sounds like highschool dropout material.

If you are the kind of person who didn't date in highschool and didn't have a lot of friends, you just need to admit to yourself that you missed out on a good thing during your formative years and then move on with your life. Instead, you will find yourself on /b/ desperately trying to defend your GOD TIER JOBS meme to convince people like me who actually have a good life that somehow you are in a better position.

Thanks for the chat, tho. The keks were real.

>>734241902
fuck a lot of women

>>734251136

>tf2

you seem lost

>>>/mlp/

Yuki is a lying bitch, don't believe in her, she is just gonna waste you fucking time and destroy your faith into other people.

>>734251766
and also buy bitcoins. (when you hear about then you will know it's time

>>734244079
Liking this is gayer than liking an attractive trap

>>734245778
yet you still took the bite