Whats the closest you guys have come to dying? >>I walked

shameless self bump

>>734164836
every second is 1 second closer to dying, so every second is the closest.

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>>734165500
bruh

>>734165640
ikr

bump 4 op

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a big ass rock almost kill me just after i tried to move it.

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>friend stole percs from his mom
>had a few before and didn't feel much
>this time i took a pretty good amount
>feelfunny.jpeg
>we head to the mall
>friend talking to me but i begin to blackout
>everything is turning black and i cant move or talk
>pass out and friend pulls over
>cant open my eyes but I'm conscious
>vomit my guts out and cant move the rest of the day

dunno.

got shot in a home invasion
dumb asses ended up not stealing shit and had bad aim, hit me in my fat ass "love handle"

>>734165500
Bruh

>>734167535
bad luck, you should ask next time to shoot you in the head.

When I was 5 I was in the car without a seat belt on and I think the door didn't close properly when I pulled it...

The car came to a sharp turn on the road and as the car was turning the door swings wide open and I'm holding on to dear life until the fucking turn stops. Was so scared I couldn't even scream I just entered a state of fight or flight there.

Had that turn been a second longer I definitely would have flung out that car and rolled til I died.

Sorry for not green texting phone is fucking shit

>>734164836
I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs and every night I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.

>>734164836
Almost drowned on 3 occasions, tripped down the stairs and was airborne before landing on my neck, miraculously no injuries but easily could've broken my neck (was 8ish)

>>734164836
Third and most recent suicide attempt. Beam I tried to hang myself from snapped. I only weigh 160 pounds and I'm 6ft. What the fuck. I'm surprised that people let me live on my own let alone keep sharp objects around

>>734164836
Jumped out of a swing when I was a kid and landed hard on the concrete.

>>734167938
have you ever considered not killing yourself

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>>734164836
W>as in Phys Ed 5th grade
P>laying dodgeball
R>un to fetch ball
F>all and hit head on wall
C>uncussion
B>e 26 years old
J>ews did 9/11 and teenage girls are sexy
T>rump somehow president
profit?

>be me creep anon
>16 never fit in anywhere
>decide to spend my summer wandering the country
>find another person to travel with
>fem anon not too talkative
>we get to a squatting house late in the night
>she tries to smashe 4/10 I ain't gonna
>I fall asleep and she leaves
>she comes back with a giant shard of glass and tries to slice me open
>I wake up and run away till my lungs hurt and keep running
>stay in a police station lobby
>go home had enough adventure for now
This happened 6 years ago. Still wake up at night wondering if ima get cut up. Fuck people.

>>734164836
When I was 16 I went white water rafting with a group of people. We came around a bend and there was a huge dip that ran into an even bigger rock. I got thrown from the boat. Went under and I'm assuming knocked my head and went unconscious. I woke up down stream and people pulled me into there boat. Our guide said it was a miracle I lived and had I not been wearing a helmet my head would have been split in two. Had a nasty concussion for months and I still have memory problems at 19.

>>734167905
Can I have one of your chocolate bars?

>>734168675
What river?

>>734167871
lol

>>734168221
Meh. I'd rather not not die.

>>734168675
Crazy. I hate large bodies of water. Too creepy.

>>734168923
To be completely honest? I don't remember. I do know it was in central Colorado.

>>734168866
*buys all of the chocolate bars*

>>734169082
Whoah that's where I nearly got stabbed! I was in Denver!

I was stepping out of my car once when a car side swiped my car causing my to go into a 2 month long coma

>>734169293
Well shit. We both almost died in Colorado

>>734169638
different anon here, colorado is a dangerous place, ive somehow survived living here for 30 years, sure my luck is about out..

>>734169638
Perhaps I should have just bit the bullet and banged her but what if she was planning to kill me all along!?

DENVER INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

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>>734168350
You deserve it you fucking beta monkey

When I was 2 I got out of my car seat which distracted my mom. We rolled over twice but luckily my sister grabbed me. I still remember all of it.

car accident

>>734164836
I swallowed a whole ice cube

>>734164836
>When I was 15 I ate 400 advil liqui-gels
>Was rushed to the hospital the next morning
>Spent a week in a coma
My life's been fucked up for the next 11 years

>>734167282
You're a fucking idiot

>>734170424
underground bunkers

Mommy caught me touching my peepee when O was 15 years old. She said that was evil and people die from it. I never touched my peepee ever again out of fear of dying.

>>734167871
>taking a corner
>fast enough to cause death

Choose one

>>734164836
I almost slipped when walking up the stars once

>>734170620
I don't fuck uggos. I ain't desperate.

>>734164836
received an adult dosage of the rubella vaccine at the ripe old age of 1, that put me in the hospital for a while

chicken pox

>>734164836
>Flight Training PPL
>Turned left after taking off
>Turn left again to join downwind.
>Other fucker joins straight in downwind with no radio call. He is above me and to the right.
>Cessna-172 is a high wing can't see anything above to the left and right.
>He passes 50 feet above and about 75 feet ahead.
>I say ow fuck and my instructor says oh fuck and we turn downwind
>Ask on the ground if the guy saw us. Says its our fault. My instructor was the safety pilot for the airport and banned him for the airport after he started some shit.

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Got hit by a car on my motorcycle, I guess I coulda broke my neck or something

Died for about 10 minutes when I was 22. Gf brought me back with cpr and mouth to mouth. Didn't see any bright lights or nothing just faded into darkness

Student pilot
2nd solo flight
takeoff, climb, engine quits at about 400' agl.
Do all the "your engine just quit" stuff and realized the only place to land was on top of a large, flat roof, building.
Set up my approach.
This is gonna hurt.
engine starts up again.
climbed, circled around, landed.
That was enough excitement for the day.

Did my 3rd solo flight the next day.

>>734171386
Find a pic of a girl equally ugly im curious

When I was about 2yo i found a nickel and it looked yummy so i ate it. didnt work out so well and i choked on it. My 7yo sister picked me up to give me to mom and her squeezing me was enough to make me cough it up. probably one of my earliest memories.

>>734165500
o fug

>>734164836
>be me
>be high as fuck
>get munchies
>make bagels
>have shitty toaster
>difficult to get the bagels out
>burnt the shit out of them so they were smaller than usual
>get brilliant idea
> get butter knife to dislodge the bagel
>life savior of a roommate watching the entire act as it unfolds
>grabs my arm before I jab the knife in the toaster
autism is one hell of a drug

>fell asleep in a shady brothel while my friends were wasted as fuck
>woke up in the arms of my friends carrying me
>fall on a high speed road when a truck was coming
I still remember the sight of the truck coming at me and the fact that some hooker could've harvested my organs

>some retards tried to rob my house while i was having a nap
>they tied me up and threatened me supposedly with a gun
>took a glance and it looked like one of the knifes from the kitchen
>still very dangerous in the hands of a shit scared retard
I was too sleepy to realize what was going on until my parents came home and untied me

>>734164836

>be me
>17
>doing shrooms with my three friends at night
>First time for all of us
>we go for a walk
>tripping balls
>come to an outside concrete staircase with a small square landing half way up it
>it has a great view so we move our trip there
>we all nickname the little area "Four Corners" because there was just enough room for all of us to lean on the corner railings
>Was actually really comfy and significant during the trip
>there's just enough space for someone to actually use the staircase, but it's tight
>All of sudden we hear LOUD pounding on the pavement at the top of the staircase
>a fucking full grown deer is being chased by a dog and running for it's life
>it takes the staircase
>literal turbulence as it barrels through the middle of our group and down 50 flights of stairs in 1 or 2 seconds
>we had to lean back to avoid being touched by it
>afterwards see a dog emerge at the top of the stairs

This incident is burned into all of our memories. The fact that we were tripping on shrooms while this happened was fucking unreal. We realized afterwards that the deer couldn't see anything on the stairs, it was likely running blind. If any of us were to have been in it's path we would have been annihilated, as there were railings on the entire length of the narrow stairs.

Tl;Dr narrowly avoided getting hit by a sprinting deer

>>734164836
Nurse "accidently" OD'd me on morphine when I was 3 days old. Gave me enough to kill a grown man

Opiates don't affect me anymore cause of it

>>734172139
>google crust punks
>te smell
>shudders
>she had a butter face and an ok body but holy fuck she smelled
>she was in her late 20's which factored in a bit.

>>734172244
also, that sister is the only person i ever truly hated, even the fact she probably saved my life cant cover all the hate. When i was 9-13 she was such a fucking bitch, did so much bad stuff to me and the family i wished i never knew her. Im now 30 and she has changed a lot but still i dont trust her.

>>734167905
Every night you break your arms, huh? Mhm you naughty anon c;

>>734164836
Adderall abuse for 1 year. Felt my kidney aching and went cold turkey. Almost literally dead.

>>734167282
sounds like a good time. quit being a pussy.

>>734164836
Walking by on my way to work there was a drink driver not paying attention while I crosses the road, and I had to full on jump out of the way to make sure I didn't get hit.

Didn't even think about it because of how busy I was needing to studying 24/7 for uni

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>>734164836
was walking across the street to get onto the bus for middle school at 6:30am in rural NC. Bus was stopped and traffic was supposed to stop. A Tahoe ripped past me, had my earphones in and didn't think anyone was coming, but his side view mirror missed me by barely an inch.

Honestly, if he would have fucked me up he would have kept driving and no one would have known

Jumped in front of a truck and saved a kid's life. That sucked. Dumbass kid didn't have a damn clue what happened.

>>734168350
Bro why not hang yourself. Serious suggestion

>>734172581
If she gave you enough to kill a grown man why didn't you die as a baby?

>>734164836
>18
>just graduated
>lazy river ride at amusement park
>laying on back
>fucking kid jumps into the river
>lands on my head/throat connecting area
>knocked unconscious
>woke up in hospital
>almost drown

Hate that fucking kid to this day.

>>734173559
He must be from the South

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Was in jordan just south of the border of syria. had been in multiple bullshit attempts to mortar us, but ironically or not ironically if youre more cynical, the closest i ever came to dying was some dumbass soldier negligently firing about 3 inches from my face on a range.

>>734173732
You should put your finger in his butt

>>734168350
/b/ro

if she's ok enough to hang out with and do shit with that might get both of you killed, but not ok enough to fuk

>cut yourself

>>734174157
I heard that Ff is really common now. If so that's fucked up.

>>734173011
But she was attractive enough to be your friend-o?

>>734164836

Cancer at 15. Chemo, radiation, the whole shebang. Diagnosed cured, but I was one of 3 people at the treatment center who survived.

>>734164836
I was in a car accident many years ago my, friend was driving he was drunk af i did not know that because i was drunk af. He started drifting in a dirt road, firs it went nice we had fun but when he hit 3 gear and close to 100km/h the car went for the ditch. Next thing i remember was sitting on the road, my head had a bad cut to the bone i could feel my skull. And the rest is stock hospital waiting shit.

Was in the woods when i was charged by a grizzly. It pushed me down, friend shows up, spooked it and it ran away. Wasn't for him i would of been mauled. I was 30 so was defiantly not pedo bear.. just regular old grizz.

>>734171210
Good lad, listen to mother

>>734174381
>>734174260

>putting it aside that she was all around shady, I just didn't want to
>I have a low sex drive as it is
>add to that long days of travel and the fact I was in a crack house I just didn't see it happening.

Thought I was dieing once.
Was lieing in bed, just smoked a bowl of spice (this event ended that)
Start hyperventilating
This is it, accept my fate, embrace death
Stop hyperventilating
Lie there like a fucking high ass moron.
Spice is fucking shit

>>734175259
Dude fuck spice. That shit had me feeling all kinds of weird too.

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>>734164836
>be me
>12
>usin some weird ass tire iron to hit a fold out chair
>don't ask why niggers.
>hit the fold out chair, ricochet.
>hits me in the head, about half inch from my eye.
>knocked out for solid 30 minutes
>wake up autistic as fuck, not knowing where the hell I was
>thought i died, had an emotional breakdown in the snow.
>mom comes out, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT RACKET"
>shitimstillalive.jpeg
>pretty much almost lost my eye and almost
gave myself permanent brain damage.

>my right eye is still a little bit slower than the left.

A couple summers ago I was doing some work in a convection module (part of a furnace used in a refinery) and took the electrode of the welding machine to the chest while I was soaking wet with sweat from it being like 120f in there. The space was confined and tight as hell so it pretty much laid me on my back and wouldn't let go. Luckily, my helper heard my last-ditch-effort death scream and got there in time to pull it off of me. He said my eyes were rolling and I was convulsing like a motherfucker.

>on tour in Philippines
>getting dropped off at airport
>exhausted
>get out of car on the wrong side
>almost decapitated by the mirror of a speeding bus

At the time, I was so tired and fucked up I just shrugged and walked away, but looking back it terrifies me.

>>734164836
Once was going 80 on a sharp turn in Chicago and crashed my car. Bounced back and forth like a pinball 3 times and the engine stalled out, while I was restarting the car another car drove by (it was kinda a blind spot) and missed us by like 3 feet.

Car started, drove off unscathed. Cars front and back bumpers were smashed to shit

>>734165500
dam...

>>734167749
kek

>>734165500
Deep dubs you got there pal

>>734176155
i do what i can

>>734171248
It could've been a formula 1 car

>>734169072
Me too. I almost drown in a pool at age 6 and now im 27 and still cant swim.

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>>734171210

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Was diagnosed with terminal cancer when I was 3. I remember meeting some of the Phoenix Suns. I'm 28 now and eat like shit and don't exercise. Haven't had a check up in 15 years. Been finding blood in tp for about 6 months. Probably gonna die within a decade. Fuck it.

>>734171358
>stars
whoa dood

One time I laughed so hard and Mitch Hedberg joke I thought it was my final minute....

>>734171911
dam...

>>734171358
where u on acid?

>>734176864

You must be a tough fucker like myself. Is the blood bright red or dark red?

>>734173038
Fucking bitch

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>>734172400
you're friend is a real one muh dood

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>>734164836
I was 11 when I was about 10 feet from a tree that got hit by lightning, while at camp with a child molester.

>>734175598
>from
On tour with who

>>734177123
she stole my new bike and pawned it for $15. Twice. among many other things

>>734174690
What kinda cancer was it?

>>734172573
shrooms are cool as heck

>>734168350
Put out or bleed out
>useless tramp who feels too good to fuck femtramp
You deserved to get cut, not killed but at least wounded.

>>734175259
>15, acquire some serenity
>first time smoking spice
>never even smoked a marijuan yet
>rig up a gravity bong with a diet coke bottle and a 9/16ths socket
>smoke first bowl
>look at hand inadvertantly
>godamn tracers I shit u knot. First and last time for that
>get excited because I'm high and full of youth
>run in circles for like 30 minutes in apartment
>calm down
>decide to increase dosage I mean you can't have too much of a good thing right
>well, its not good to begin with lol
>smoke eight bowls in one sitting
>smoked so fast my heart was still beating fast from the 30 minute retard marathon
>notice how hard its beating
>tripping hard now
>lay down to die and have closed eye visuals for about two hours
>electric shapes and indescribable colors I can only relate to neurons exploding in my brain
>never been right since

>>734173807
kek

>>734172581
Fuck anon, you're hardcore

I almost drowned in my pool but my dad yanked me out by my hair. Even though I was like 3-4 I remember thinking oh man well this is it!

>>734177383
That's just fucked up man. Did you ever tried to get even?

>>734164836
OD'd on fentanyl once. Would be dead except for narcan. Been clean 2 years.

>>734173091
Same but meth

>>734164836
Nigger classmate of mine threw a piece of granite at my head when I was around 14. Hit me on the brow, could have hit my eye or temple easily.

>>734173559
Because he was a baby, not a grown man. If it can only kill a grown man, it cannot kill baby.

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>>734165500

>>734173375
You're a better man for saving that kid thoe

>>734177636
/thread

>>734164836
When I was 4 I cracked my skull on the front porch of my house.

I thought the stretcher was a skateboard.

At 7 I went down a slide into my grandparents pool while nobody was looking and nearly drowned.

I moved to a really bad neighborhood at 13 and had bullets fly into my house.

At 17 I went whitewater rafting with family and flew out of the raft, I got taken under and smacked against a bunch of rocks.

I'd like to think I'm a pretty lucky person to have gone through so much shit and lived, but I guess if I was lucky none of that would've happened in the first place.

>>734174178
this

>>734177450
That seems to be the group consensus. Luckily she rested her hand on my side before going for the throat otherwise I'd be dead anon. Woke up from the pressure to my side.

>>734174811
kek

>>734177531
no. i didnt want anything to do with her, plus she fucked up her own life, didnt need help. There was about 5 years when i never saw or talked to her at all. she got married and had kids and i love my nieces and nephews and we get along now but i dont think i will ever fully forgive/trust her. None of the family fully trusts her, she still likes to steal stuff.

>>734177471
noice

>>734165500
I'm too high for this shit

>be me
>unborn in mom's womb
>mom goes in labour
>catch rare virus while in womb and pneumonia or some shit
>docs give up
>tell dad they can save mom by pulling me out and chucking my dead body in the bin
>dad agrees
>docs are operating
>pull me out
>start crying like a little foetus that I am
>It'salive.gif
>spend two days in Icu
>come out as healthy 8 lb baby
>Muslim grandfather renames me Khalid(terrorist for immortal)
>inherit lots of monies.jpg from amused relatives
>doc who saved me gets called smooth operator
Feelsgoodman

>>734175585
dam...

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>be me
>be 16
>It's a cold day, so I try to turn on the fireplace
>Turn the gas on, but can't find lighter, so I give up
>thought I closed gas all the way
2 weeks later.
>notice smell of rotting eggs outside
>unusually, no smell inside
>my family calls the gas company, they send a tech over
>I go to school, come back. My mother has a pale look on her face
So, apparently, the gas main hadn't been fully closed, and gas had been leaking out of the fireplace throughout the neighborhood for 2 solid weeks. Because we kept our fireplace shut usually, with glass panes, and some potted plants in front of it, the gas couldn't enter my house, and it spread out through the chimney to the surrounding area.
>mfw I realized that I could have been directly responsible for blowing my entire block to smithereens
>mfw I realized that due to the sheer myriad of things one could do in suburbia involving fire, that I could have died at any point during the previous two weeks
>mfw I realized I hadn't done anything important with my life yet, and that I could have been snuffed out before doing anything
Shit was fun for the next few existential weeks.

>>734177555
What was that like? Fent sounds insane and terrifying. I've done pharmaceutical opiates and that's enough for me.

>>734177351
The Who

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>>734178228

>>734176864
Godspeed mate

>type 1 diabetic since 10
>play and win intense final soccer league game age 14
>have dinner with fam eat lots come home
>have low blood sugar
>have full free floating out of body experience
>watch from 15 feet away at ceiling height as fam panics and gives me glucose injection and sugar
>wake up in body drinking a juice surrounded by family, think wtf

Not sure if this qualifies but shit if my soul didn't leave my body

>>734178336
I've heard ppl saying it's worse than H

>>734177555
dam...

>>734177574
you ever got him back?

about everyday people in cars are dicks

Accidentally smoked crack instead of weed. Felt like my heart almost stopped

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>>734177814
>I'd like to think I'm a pretty lucky person to have gone through so much shit and lived, but I guess if I was lucky none of that would've happened in the first place.

>>734177895
I'm glad you have standards and didn't die, anon.

3 weeks in a coma when a soccer mom in a minivan pulled in front of me on my bike.

I miss my arm.... :(

>>734175579
>mom doesn't check the sound until after the 30min blackout

kek

>>734178777
How the fuck? Boi you must be retarded they and their pipes look nothing alike. Fuck your story fuck branasium I'm outta here.

>>734177471
Ugh those synthetics are so dirty and scary. Sucks man.

>tfw I was part of synthetic ring here in town and I did not like it. I worked at a smoke shop.

ive nearly died at least 3 times once i was at disney land with my family and i cracked my skull open kinda like OP i had to go to the hospital another was when i fell in the pool and nearly drowned i was like 4 and another was recently i had a stroke after trying to make glaze for ceramics

>>734178822
dam

>>734178908
Its terrible cuz I was hooked for a while. I'd walk around my neices beds holding a knife and mumbling nonsense. To this day I cannot hold knives near children or else I go stupid and think they are trying to attack me.

>>734178550
fuck me that sounds cool

please go on

>>734178822
post pics ples, and dayum dude.

>>734178791
Thank you anon your the first! Here's a (you)

>>734170297
She probably was but wanted to see if she could get sum fuq before she gutted you

>>734178822
Doooode tell me you get phantom pain or any phantom sensation

>>734178931
what did a stroke feel like?

>>734171113
No shit
Way to trash your body making it worthless to live in without actually killing yourself
This is why suicide is dumb as fuck

>>734178275
Welcome to earth little guy

>>734175579
Lel I don't know why this made me laugh.

>>734178822
I want to know how that bitch reacted when she saw you

>>734164836

drove home drunk an hour on the highway from seattle to olympia. Was fighting my eye lids the whole way, drifted off for a few seconds several times and managed to barely pull my eyes open. swerved lanes a few times, drove over the rumble stip woke me up one time, a car beeping at me woke me up another. The girl I was with was passed out in the passenger's seat.

Stupidest thing I've ever done. So lucky I made it safely and didn't crash or get pulled over. Slowly phased out drinking out of my life after that. I don't drink at all anymore.

>>734179414
literally half of my mind shut down i straight up just stopped being able to function properly
i couldnt talk in complete sentences i couldnt think i was mostly just confused

>>734179169
Christ. The Chinese would ship a sack of chemical and the owners (not me) had a cement mixer where they'd mix this herb shit with it. It's fucking gross and shitty. The syndicate got sent to jail, and 1 of em 20 yrs.

>>734179374
I only made it 3 states in my journey to NYC before turning around. Kinda wanna get off my neet ass and travel again.

bmpp

> be me first day in med school
> stepped off curb without looking
> astute new colleague pulls me back suddenly
> bus rolls to stop in front of me.

Owe the guy my limbs if not my life.

>>734179461

well advil suicide is dumb as fuck. especially if you do it somewhere that people can find you. Go out in the woods if you don't have decent pills to suicide on so you have time to die.

Better yet get real drugs to OD on and mix them with booze.

>Driving country road
>Take turn too fast
>Back tires slide out into ditch
>Pound a driveway where the land isn't a ditch (whatever that's called)
>Liftoff
>Car spins 180° and nose dives in dudes from lawn
>Flip end over end 3 times
>Come to a stop on the passenger side
>Thrown out if my seat
>Landed directly on my neck with my body above me
>Don't know what happened
>Arms fucked up, end up kicking front windshield out
>Adrenaline going like crazy
>ER, check myself, go to buddies for the night
>Agonizing pain
>Fall asleep finally and wake up in hospital
>Didn't wake up for 2 days

Apparently the shitty ER missed a brain bleed when I first went there.

>>734179619
Grody, yeah when I am near a child with a knife in my hand the light goes dim and I feel like I'm walking through a vortex and all I can hear is my breathing, then the paranoia sets in as I walk towards them I can feel them mocking me I can feel the evil inside them biding its time to attack me. Then usually I get snapped out of it by someone taking the knife out of my hand. Or the kid running away. FUCK. SPICE.

>>734180237
You need to be incarcerated

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Born with meningitis, had to be in a fish tank for 2 weeks. Fucked up my hearing a bit in my right ear.

>be 6
>sick
>mom goes out and gets medicine
>tastes like bubblegum, fucking cash
>late into the night i sneak into the bathroom
>yummy bubblegum
>eat about 50 tablets
>dad comes down to see what i'm doing
>he realizes what i did
>runs me over to the toilet and makes me gag on his finger
>puke bubblegum flavored vomit
>was yummy

No regrets. Who's idea was it to make childrens' medicine taste so good anyway?

A couple years ago i was dd for my sister and some of her friends, they were at the bar doing karaoke. About 1:30am i went to pick them up and we were all standing outside smoking and some crazy drunk/drugged dude was trying to start shit with this other guy who was with us. we tried to ignore him and shit. he left, then came back a few minutes later holding a big ass knife and was waving it around and still yelling at us. i told my sis and her friends to go inside. crazy guy starts walking towards me and the other guy. we're telling him to fuck off and leave before the cops come. He keeps walking toward us so I draw my concealed handgun and point it at him and tell him to drop the knife and back the fuck off, which he does. as he's walking away he's apologizing and pretending he was joking and shit. Cops showed up 10 minutes later and never found the guy. Was the only time I felt my life was really in danger

>>734179825
How do you expect to support yourself while travelling if you're a neet?

When I was six I won a bike in a competition. When I wa riding it around one day I went to show it off by going super fast and putting my feet in the front wheel. I flipped up in the air and it could have gone really bad but I landed in my hands unharmed somehow.

>>734180432
>Darwin my nigga

>>734180432
>makes me gag on his finger
yeah I'm sure it was his "finger"

>>734180237
you sound like a guy i met when i was at a psyche ward
he smoked a lot of crack plus he was beaten with bats in his own house, tied up and left for dead in a cemetery
guy was literally michael myers incarnate when he had a sharp object in his hands. somehow he managed to find sharp objects like scissors/forceps and a scapel in the hospital.
niggas just let him walk around freely

>>734180514
so you were trying to flip?

>>734180501
>yes

>>734180237
That is truly one of the more terrifying things I've read on here.

>>734167905
I read that McSweeney's article. Made me laugh.'The State of My Body' or something like that?

>>734180478
This for real? What u carry

>>734165500
-_-

>>734180971
it's real. XD-s 9mm with 147 HSTs. never leave the house without it

>>734164836
>Fell forty feet smashing my face into my knee. Walked away fine with only minor bruises.

>Got head stuck inbetween the safety bar and the car on splash mountain when the drop happened. Suffered sever whiplash and am still feeling the effects of that to this day. That was in the 8thgrade.

I'm 21 now.

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almost died from being sick and dehydrated when i was 7 because my abusive dad believed that prayer would fix the sickness and didn't believe in medicine or doctors

>>734180693
Mind you I'm normal 99% of the time its just this one trigger that haunts me.>>734180882 how you think I feel? I have to live with my own thoughts. I once almost shredded my newborn nephew. Its horrifying. But I'm getting help and my family supports me.

>>734181182
did he at least take you to see peter popoff?

>>734181066
Nice, I wouldn't mind having one. It's nice when you don't have to shoot after you draw and the perp leaves. You protected everyone and you didn't have to do the whole police thing

Once my antipsychotics kicked in weird and I ended up walking around in a daze trying to find a gun to shoot myself in the mouth with. There was a tingling spot in the back of the roof of my mouth where I was going to put the barrel, I was in what I can only describe as intense psychological pain. When I woke up the next morning I realized if I'd found a gun I would have died that night, no question. Guess I'm never buying one as much as I want to.

In my highschool days I used to skip classes frequently to smoke pot and wander around the huge forests in the area with my pot smoking buddy.
One normal high nature trip day I was walking at the top of a huge hill that we normally slowly climbed down to get a to a river below but my stupid ass lost balance over my own feet and tumbled down the hill. I was rolling for a good 5 seconds and gaining sanic speed (rolling like him too) before smashing my back against a tree stopping me immediately.
If I had been rolling down the hill slightly more to the left though I would have missed the stump that stopped me and crashed right into a huge savage as fuck broken branch that vlad the impaler would have loved to use for his shenagins.

When I was like 11 I was riding a 4 wheeler at this guys house I never been to before but he was a friend of my parent's.hauling ass through what looks like an open field when at the last fucking second a metal clothes line came into my view,I ducked as fast as I could but not fast enough because the clothes line clipped my ear and took off like a tiny peice.then I saved my future stepdads life by pushing his head down because I almost decapitated myself .there was some other shit but that's the most brutal one I could think of

>>734181517
God damn thats fucking scary

>>734181182
Fuck prayer faggets, if you died he'd be all it was gods plan. I believe in prayer but I also see the benefits of modern medicine

>>734181662
Yeah man I had this grimace of a grin on my face and I couldn't think about anything but that, my thoughts couldn't be more than a second in the future.

They're the only ones that don't fuck with me all day though so I guess it's my only choice for now.

>>734181565
Kek'd and saved!

>>734181386
Shits crazy. I was at the forefront of the synthetic boom and I was totally against selling it. There was nothing safe about that spice shit, it was barely tested synthetic cannabinoid that fucked up a lot of people. They tried switching up compounds to try and stay legal. They don't care about your health.

>>734181486
It's the only time ive ever felt the need to draw, im a pretty passive person and i dont like conflict/drama. but it's hard to reason with drunk/drugged people who have a sense of immortality. I have accepted that i might have to save my/others' lives at the cost of someone else's, otherwise i wouldnt bother to have a gun. I hope i never have to but will if i have to. My sister also carries now.

>>734181565
sounds like a reallife QTE and u didnt fuck up. gj anon

bmpp

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>>734178329
no way in hell your single house could produce enough gas to blow your entire block. At best what you did was dumb...hardly deadly.

also how's that not wasting your life going?

I have almost died 2 times in my life.

The first one was when I was around 13 or so. There was a blackout so my mom bought a camping gas stove to cook (our stove is an electric stove). Me, being the idiot I am don't know how to use the gast stove. I turn on the gas and then look for the matches to turn on the flame. It always bothered me how huge the flame was whenever I ignited the gas. Then it hit me how autistic I was when I saw my mom turning on the match first, and THEN the gas. Could have burned the damn house down. The other time was last year, i was riding my bike to college, and some asshole was speeding on the road. The dude missed me by inches, and I mean that literally.

>>734182060
Wish I never tried the stuff, the only reason I did was cuz I moves to a new town and had no connection. But the K-2 was everywhere and its cousins. Bought a few voles and the rest is shameful history.

>>734182764
agreed, he is just a paranoid kid. if he tried to light the fire after the gas had been leaking out for a while there might be an issue, but not a house or block destroyer

>have rare medical condition that causes unrelenting nausea and throwing up violently and spontaneously over periods of hours to days due to stress, lack of sleep or other sickness
>diagnosed when i was 1
>about every month, i would puke my brains out for days on end
>visited urgent care so frequently that they recognized me as soon as i was wheeled in
>few times where i could not eat for more than a week because of vomiting/nausea
>few times i legitimately thought i was gonna die as i could not feel any part of my body and staying awake became difficult
Shit sucks. Luckily, the last time I was in the hospital for it was President's Day 2015, so we're making progress with the vomiting. Nausea is still pretty frequent though.

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>>734164836
For years I'd noticed a small nodule at the base of my scrotum when I was showering, but since it didn't hurt and wasn't getting any bigger, I ignored it. Then I spent 5 days on a train sitting in the same position and the nodule disappeared -- but a lump started growing on my perineum.

Over a period of weeks the lump got bigger and bigger until it was the size of my fist and I was starting to walk bow-legged. I went to the doctor and the doctor sent me straight to the emergency room. It was a large, very active abscess.

They lanced the abscess at emerg, the most painful thing I've ever experienced. They warned me it would be bad because the infection was so acidic that it was countering the effect of the anaesthetic. I asked them if I needed antibiotics and they said no, then sent me home.

When I woke up the next day my balls had swollen to the size of oranges and felt like water balloons. I called my doctor and was told to go straight to emergency as quickly as possible. By the time I reached emergency, my blood pressure was 240/100 and everything from my thighs to my belly had turned an angry lobster red. They took me instantly and started pumping an ocean of exotic antibiotics into my arm. I spent the next week in hospital.

They tell me I had come within a couple of hours of Fournier's Gangrene -- flesh-eating bacteria of the crotch -- and that it has only a 30% survival rate. The only treatment is to cut ahead of the infection, which means at a bare minimum you'll lose your cock and balls even if you survive.

Unless you want to give yourself nightmares, DO NOT do an image search for Fournier's Gangrene. (Pic related.)

>>734183520
Gotta love those asshole sending you home without germ killer...

Did you lose your penis and testes?

>>734175658
Fuck Chicago and fuck you for going 80. Die next time you feel like going 80.

>>734183520
This is the most interesting one in the thread, abscesses are fucked up my dude. I got two growing on my right leg and one on my pubic region. It hurts real bad :/

>>734183819
No, like I said, I got lucky. And it was an intern who sent me home without antibiotics. I'm diabetic, so I made sure to ask him twice if he was absolutely sure I didn't need any. When I showed up the next day he was there again, and he knew he had fucked up badly. He had to go and get the head of the emergency department to examine me because the situation was so serious. Most doctors go their entire careers without seeing a single case of Fournier's Gangrene, and those who have seen it say it's the most terrible thing they've ever seen or smelled.

Because it's so rare and because I was in a teaching hospital, I spent my entire time in hospital being examined by crowds of doctors and interns and students. It's surreal being surrounded by a dozen people all closely inspecting your cock under an intense surgical spotlight.

>>734184138
>...closely inspecting your cock under an intense surgical spotlight
>cums buckets in front of everyone

>>734184126
Take my advice and get them lanced. Abscesses can sit for months or years unchanged. They form because of a raging infection the body can't control. It forms a hard bubble of tissue to contain it while continuing to dump white blood cells into it to try to kill the infection. But all it takes is a single leak or rupture -- in my case caused by squishing it for 5 days straight on a train -- for the infection to break loose and start rampaging freely.

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>>734164836
Got hit by a school bus once in middle school while riding my bike home. Bike was mangled, but I got up without a single bruise. I would've just walked home without a single fuck, but the teachers that witnessed it forced me to sit there and wait for an ambulance. School replaced my old, rusted bike with a brand new one so my family wouldn't sue and got to skip the next couple days.

>>734167282

I have also OD'd but I mixed tussionex and regular lean. I was throwing up 3 days straight before I went to the hospital. Should have gone the first night but was too scared.

I tried to fight a gorilla once.

>>734184138
That must have been very terrifying and uncomfortable. Like fuck. Was there a timeframe when you didn't know if you were going to be cut or not?

>>734184892
Harambes blood is on your hands.

had a get together with friends in the woods. To manlet to open a bottle of beer with a knife (german here, no twist and sip bs). Instead of using as a handle I pulled that bitch right into my skull, 1 cm to the right and they would've called me cutten eye Joe if survived.

>>734183520
Holy fuck I looked it up why did I look it up oh my fucking Christ... There are people out there literally experiencing that right now..

>>734168321
...how do you fuck up so badly?

Lotta stories where someone nearly loses an eye in this thread.
>do humans deserve to live?

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>>734165500
bruh

>>734165500
>ITT reaction image gold

>>734184928
Only for the first few hours. When I entered emergency with blood pressure more commonly found in truck tires, they knew something was wrong, and then they saw my midsection had turned angry red and my dick had swollen into a ball. They asked me if I looked like that normally and I had to pause to WTF before telling them no. No, I didn't have a fucking globe dick.

I knew what Fournier's Gangrene is, and the head of the emergency department wasn't much on bedside manners. He told me straight up that it could be Fournier's Gangrene and that I would be spending some time in hospital -- and that if I hadn't come in when I did, it would most definitely have been Fournier's Gangrene.

On a lighter note, as a gamer I've developed a very strong bladder stretched to enormous size as a result of holding it. They were pumping fluids into me non-stop and the nurses kept coming to ask if I had peed yet and, if not, why not. I tried to explain I just had a big bladder and they wouldn't believe me. They thought I might be lying to avoid getting a catheter, so they kept using an ultra-sound to see whether my bladder was full and shaking their heads in disbelief. They were all completely shocked at how large my bladder was. My proudest moment.

once pretty close to freezing to death
others than that ive died an infinity of times through DMT

I've got a few

> At 4 I ate poison from the cupboard at my kindergarten and had to be hospitalised for like, a month
> At 6 I got beaten to a severe degree that I had to be hospitalised for a week and had severe internal bleeding
> At 8 I accidentally made mustard had and woke up in hospital
> At 11 I hit my head on a rock and cracked my skull open
> Also at 11 I was at a water park and was scared to go down a water slide and had a man offer to hold me to calm me down, being actually autistic I thought nothing of this and allowed it, after he asked if I wanted to "Go with him" and I declined. Turned out he was a convicted pedophile and had killed before
> At 16 I drowned in the ocean while swimming drunk
> At 26 (This year) I once again drowned in the ocean while swimming drunk

I don't think I can die

>have knee surgery and bedridden on couch, not supposed to put weight on it
>dad is going to fry some fish for dinner
>gets cast iron skillet and pours oil into it, turns it on high
>leaves and goes upstairs
>some time passes
>smell something burning
>yell out to someone
>no answer
>yell out again, smell is getting worse
>no response
>finally I can tell that there is something seriously wrong with this situation
>grab crutches and hobble out of room to look at kitchen
>the whole fucking stove, cabinets, oven mitts fucking is engulfed in raging fire
>start screaming for help
>no fire extinguisher
>grease fire
>i honestly dont know how I put part of fire out
>smoke is burning lungs
>evacuate outside
>tell Dad he is a dumbass
>fire dept comes and puts out the fire, tear oven out of wall and chucked it in our backyard
>extensive fire and smoke damage in house

>>734164836
>apartment fire on the 2nd floor
>was asleep at the time
>suffered from smoke inhalation and would have died within about a minute if I didn't jump.

>>734185129
I did warn you. If you read doctors' commentary on Fournier's Gangrene, they say it's the most terrible smell they've ever encountered in their whole lives. Nurses often need gas masks to avoid vomiting when treating people with Fournier's Gangrene. One article I read by a doctor who'd treated multiple Fournier's patients said he was often called in on suspected cases, and that he could tell the instant he entered the ward: if he couldn't smell it, it wasn't Fournier's Gangrene. As bad as it looks, can you imagine the smell?

When I was a baby my trailer burned down. I was in the closet snuggled up with a dead cat and her kittens. 2 years later I drank bleach and electrocuted myself and froze nearly to death outside of my tent in the same year. Am I undead?

>>734183520
holy fuuuuuuuuuck

>>734186158
If I were dying of gangrene I'd wanna at least chop off the obvious bits so I can die without the horrifying colored flesh on me

>>734167905
spongekek
Mr. Kek
Kekrick
Kekward
Kekton

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>be 18
>riding bike home from my grandparents' apartment
>had headphones on like an idiot, wire got caught in my seat
>immediately stop and untangle it
>a city bus comes flying by at least a few inches in front of me
If not for shitty $5 headphones, I would've been roadkill

Also had countless asthma attacks as a infant, in and out of the E.R constantly before I even hit 1

attacked by meth head when i worked on an ambulance, dude forgot he had a knife in his pants

>>734186548
There's a chance of survival, so Fournier's Gangrene isn't an automatic death sentence. The only treatment is "radical debridement," which means cutting away the healthy flesh ahead of the infection. If they don't get it all, it'll continue to spread, so they have to remove huge swaths of skin. Some people lose cock and balls, their whole perineum, their thighs, and their whole abdomen. But what's worse is that even with that, there's a 70% chance of death. You'll die in agony with your raw muscles and organs exposed, surrounded by the stench of your own decaying flesh.

>>734168350
>SHE TRIES TO SMASHE 4/10 I AINT GONNA

>>734186381
I was a preme too. Born 3 months early. I was in those baby boxes for 2 days maybe more before I was healthy enough for my mum to hold me for the first time. Stupid bitch never went for a check up while I was in the womb. I nearly paid the piper for her neglect.

>>734171770
>>734171770
please tell me this is photoshop

>>734177636
HAHAHAHAHA

good thread finally

>>734187613
Good threads are getting harder to come by. Why aren't the shitposters regularly banned?

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drug oversose
stric-9

Ambulance comes
in it for about 3 minutes
Im looking around, can't move my eyes anymore
sound starts to fade
Sight turns into Sepia
cant move body anymore
silence surrounds me as darkness creeps in from the edges of my vision.
blackness envelopes my vision, i've stopped breathing.
No pain during any of this.
conciousness remains with me as i enter the timeless void.


sharp pain in my heart.
sight and sound return to me rapidly.
Needle in my heart.
pain coursing through my veins to my extremities.
it burns, the sound returns.

I'm now reliving this, typing to 4chan.

Why didn't they let me sleep.

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>>734187692
Because of Anonymous. After Chanology and Project Clambake, the alphabet agencies became alarmed. They had been caught off-guard, not having realized that a bunch of piss-jugging neckbeards in fedoras could actually become a viable political and counterculture force. They threatened m00t with having his servers seized and, what with m00tiekins having a spine made of spaghetti, he proceeded to ban everyone with a triple digit IQ from 4chan. In essence, he excised the healthy tissue and left only the cancer.

Then the neo-Nazis realized that the subormal middle-schoolers left behind could be easily gaslighted into useful idiots and the transformation was complete.

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>>734187953

>>734171911
Are you still with that girl

>>734179591
I've been in this situation a lot of times, just recently I almost crash my car if it wasnt for the girl that was with me. I havent touched alcohol since.

Had reacurring kidney stones,went to the hospital and turns out both my kidneys were infected and close to failing plus the infection was so bad they were scared of it spreading through my body, I was high on moprhine for the pain and didn't realize until later that I actually could have died that day

>>734169036
gey

>>734168675
Nasty suprise

>>734164836
sleep apnea when i was in middle school. at least it felt like i wasn't going to wake up a few times

>>734178791
this
nasty slit

>>734177636
Cant argue with that

>>734179573
>excuse me young man, i want to speak with your manager right now

>>734164836
Took a left turn going 120ish and hit a concrete barrier

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>>734183520
Ayyylmao junk

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>>734191609
Don't feel too badly. That barrier lost.

>>734184138
I can imagine a nurse rushing to a classroom full of medicine students and yell "yall niggas gotta watch this fucked up shit, some nigga got Fourniers Gangrene, shit is fucked up, gotta check it out" then everyone rushes to where you're at

>>734186805
How do you contract this illness? This shit's fuckin freakin me out.

>>734192518
You've heard of flesh-eating bacteria? Well, that's what this is. It's flesh-eating bacteria, but in your crotch. The terrifying thing about flesh-eating bacteria is that it strikes fast, with almost no warning, and there's no way to predict it. You get a small cut on your calf which you hardly even notice, and within hours they're cutting off your whole leg which has turned black and purple to save your life -- if you're lucky.

Good hygiene can help, and it mostly happens to people with vascular problems like diabetics, but it can happen to anyone, at any time.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necrotizing_fasciitis

putting my arm inside the mouth of a crocodile that was chilling in the sun. still have my arm tho

>>734192812
That is so fucked. Seriously, fuck this.

>>734180478
Did you tell the cops that you drew your gun? Did you have a permit? Did they give you any shit for drawing the gun?

>>734164836
Had a pretty uneventful life, haven't even broken a single bone in my body, but once I almost drowned cause I only knew how to doggy paddle but once just failed at doggy paddling for whatever reason

>>734170900
Are you okay???!!!

>>734173732
>Woke up in hospital
>almost drown
how do you drown in a hospital?

A car ran a red light and hit the guy a metre behind me.

Ended up wandering the streets in the middle east durring ramadan chanting USA while hammered

>>734192079
Still better than Alien: Covenant

>>734167935
My 3 year old knows how to swim, how the fuck do you drown on 3 different occasions

>>734164836
Almost drowned twice in a swimming pool

First time during play time after swimming classes, they dropped a floating mat over me and lots of kids went onto it

Second time, when I tried to touch the bottom of a deep swimming pool. I barely reached the surface on time

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>>734177636

I almost drowned in a raging river last saturday.

>>734164836
Drank way too much one time. Woke up in the hospital with a cathedar in my dick. They said they were co fused as fuck to why i was awake after 4 hours but thats what detoxi g and sali e does to a .4 bac. Lol

>>734189603
I've had moments where the lack of oxygen starts killing brain cells before I wake, only reason I recognize it is because I've had blackout moments abusing inhalants

>>734168866
>CHOCOLATE?!

Died for 3 minutes when I was 19.

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>>734164836
Walked right under a nest full of these fucking monsters.
<

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>>734165500
Double dubs confirms it!!!!

>>734178275
>terrorist for immortal
good kek

>be 12
>on trampoline
>floppy shit jump jump
>do a 630 frontflip
>land on back of head/neck
>OFF TRAMPOLINE
>break neck
>never go on trampolines again
>flashbacks every time I watch front flips
>living hell watching Indy wrestling

Never again

> 18
> Winter
> Asthma
> Catch Flu
> Sleep in front of gas fire
> Carbon monoxide
> CO + Flu + Asthma = dead for 2-3 minutes

Fire had just passed a safety check too.

>>734199635
Damn nearly got you! Next time you won't be so lucky

my lungs keep collapsing and I cant be bothered sitting in hospital for 37+ hours while they break my ribs open remove my pleural membrane and then basically just iron wool scrub my raw flesh in the chest cavity so the blood scabs against the lung and they reconnect like an internal skin graph, which you will note is something that the human body was never meant to fucking go through. so fuck that. I'd rather just have a collapse every 18 months

>>734199905

I've died twice. The CO thing and when I was born I died for a minute and a half.

>>734192812
Guy in australia recently got it from a white tailed spider bite. Within 48 hours they amputated both his arms and legs. Otherwise perfectly healthy 40yr old.

>>734181419
>peter popoff
kek

Here's my list, I'll let /b/ros decide.

108+ fever with seizures.
Broken skull from car wreck.
Stabbed in neck.
Shot in back and shoulder.
Hit by car when in my car at an intersection.
Hit by car while walking.
30 ft. fall from cliff.
IED.
RPG.
Friendly fire with 40mm grenade.
Brown recluse bite.

>>734164836
>>>734191609
>Don't feel too badly. That barrier lost.
Yep I won that one...even with a broken neck (and 6 other broken bones lol...thank Jesus for Volvo)

>>734164836
>Drank insecticide when I was 3, Went into a coma for 2 weeks and barely lived.
>Got hit by a car when I was 8, I swerved at the last second and just copped the side but the bike was fucked.
>25 Was climbing MT Fuji in Japan and got altitude sickness. Sat on a bench and passed out. Fell 8M down a vertical cliff and landed on a roof. Cracked my head, was bleading and bruised everywhere. Shredded my leather jacked but didn't break anything luckily. Had to Hike back down when I was only 100M below summit.

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Im a mailman. I deliver in extremely shitty neighborhoods where everything is falling apart. Even the trees. Delivering in heavy storm. Miss a package 4 houses back. Turn around... A 3.5-4 feet in diameter tree laying on the road and a car. Easily woulda died just by a change of a few seconds

>>734164836
First time drinking I got alcohol poisoning, stomach pumped and in the hospital for days after mom found me passed out in the yard, boy oh boy was being 16 fun. Now I drink daily to try and end it with liver cancer so I have an excuse to anhero on a stream.