Stop scrolling. Let's talk, /b/. How was your night spent?

>>734072350
Sat in my chair bored as shit playing with my only friend here. Rest of them are on trips except one that just isn't talking to us for some reason. Played multiplayer campaign on TW:W for a time. Got bored so said I was getting off. Logged off of everything and have browsed 4chan for the past 2 hours.

>>734072350
I'm helping a buddy get over his depression, by shooting automatic airsoft guns at his bitch ex girlfriends house. We planned and executed a complex militant action and I'm proud to say it went off without a hitch. her boyfriend came outside and we peppered that motherfucker, so much goddamn fun. I'm doin pretty good though, going to march in a parade tomorrow, then probably barbecue and crack open a cold one with the boys. Good day, and good thread anon.

>>734072350
Getting terribly depressed. Took a big fall when found out my first love was manipulating me. It wasn't really the big problem but it really activated the depression I was trying to suppress for so long. Have tried reaching out to friends for help but the only one that really tried to help obviously wants nothing to do with it and doesn't care.

I hung out with some friends and we drank and played a few games. I'm sober now and the only one awake because I had some stuff tonight trigger a pretty depressive mood and now I can't sleep. Its 3:30 am here, what about you guys?

>>734073078
2:30 a.m., depressed as shit just like any other late night

File: 1495184490301-b.png (428KB, 589x600px) Image search: [Google]

428KB, 589x600px

>>734072562
Usually how my weekends are spent, just no one to play with and a shit computer so I'm playing a lot of single player games. been running through some tom clancy games recently
>>734072806
Fuck man, I remember playing airsoft when I was younger. Some of the best times were spent playing stealthmode in the woods and sneaking around joggers/random people 10 feet away from us. Seriously good times. Best friend and I were way more into than our other friends but we always got people to play

File: 1495338646423-b.jpg (34KB, 640x401px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 640x401px

>>734073073
I'll be on your side anon. After all I don't even know you. What happened? How did she manipulate you? I remember my first (and last) love. I still think I'm clinging on to her in some way, even though I haven't spoken to her in almost a year and a half.
>>734073078
>>734073187
12:30am here. I read somewhere that often before someone dies, they're content. That's how I've been feeling lately, including tonight. Content.

>>734073078
>>734073187
>>734073692
1:30am here insomnia's keeping me awake but I have no drive to play games or watch anything. TBH if I died tonight I cant say Id regret it or wouldnt have died unhappy.

>>734073871
Watching anything? I think I'm gonna keep playing splinter cell for another hour or two and watch one of my favorite movies: Contact. Always loved that movie. Beats interstellar by a long shot

>>734074101
Cant bring myself to sit down and watch something. Ive had https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuPJm2XQT0A&t=1s on repeat for a while now while I just sit here doing nothing. I dont have the drive to play games. Like >>734073692 said, Im pretty content.

>>734073187
What getting you down?

I'm depressed for mostly no reason. I had fun tonight, but the girl I've been seeing secretly was kind of shitty to me tonight and it cut a bit deep so now I can't sleep. She's asleep in the other room and I just want to go lay down with her, but I can't.

>>734074101
I'm >>734073078
and watching shitty slam poetry on youtube. sometimes it keeps me sane, sometiems it doesn't.

>>734073692
We knew each other for several years throughout school. She was a grade below me but we were in band together. Starting 4 months ago I noticed she kept looking at me or staring at me. One time I caught her stare and we stared for a long time. I was certain she felt the same. I got her number and we started texting. First time with that kind of thing so I was a bit stupid but not that stupid. She gave me just enough attention to make sure I still had hope but I discovered through connections she had done this before to 3 other people. I said fuck it and told her how I felt. She didn't feel the same. Felt like shit for a while because all she wanted from me to begin with was the attention. Still saddening but mainly depressed from years of other repressed things coming up.

>>734074271
I'm down because I'm a decent human being. No matter how good I am (morally) I am always betrayed. Best friend betrayed me, another friend I thought I could rely on doesn't care about me, other friends are being annoying shits that have completely fallen into, I guess the best term would be "sin". I have no one I can truly relate to or truly talk to honestly and the loneliness hurts.

>>734074258
I feel you man. If you've never tried it, look up astral projection guided meditation/hypnosis on youtube. I know it sounds strange but it's really neat of you can get it to work. Have had some really cool dreams. Usually if I can't focus or relax enough while listening to it, I'll take a benadryl or three.

>>734074366
Fuck man... I've known girls like that. Seems like they are all about flirting with everyone but only want chads thicc dicc. Fuckin cunts I tell ya

File: 1446929663894 - Copy.jpg (58KB, 311x443px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 311x443px

Smutting with strangers on WoW. Thinking of leaving my girlfriend before I leave for the military. Wondering if I should go buy some cheap vodka because nothing works for my wrist and it's worth a try.

>tfw want to leave GF because I don't want to get married anymore and I don't trust the bitch
>tfw breaking up with her would be a massive headache I don't want to deal with

>>734074621
Story time? Tell me about your best friend

>>734074366
That's unfortunately how most women are. There are no easy ways to get around it either. I just give them attention until I get bored with them then cut them loose. Sometimes if you make them chase you and get them jealous early on you can get around it, but generally you don't want to mess with them long term.

>>734072350

Whenever I think about killing myself, I start to just touch things around me, and then I begin to remember how lucky I am to have a conscience and experience the world, and how if I die I won't be able to have any sensation. Then I get happy that I am lucky enough to feel unhappy.

>>734074765
Military relationships are ride or die.. Either they live with you on base, or you worry about them fucking everything they see while you're not with them. Best friends girlfriend got fucked by one of our really close friends in bootcamp. Goddamn it broke my heart telling him.

>>734074942
I'm really glad you have the strength to continue living

>>734075404

I wouldn't say its strength so much as fear of not existing

>>734074978

That's my concern. On one hand, she'll be taking care of my dog and snake. On the other hand, she might be fucking dudes behind my back - assuming she isn't already. She's gone through my phone once or twice, so I have a healthy suspicion at times.

>"Hey Anon, I lost my phone. Can I use yours to call mine?"
>"Yeah babe."
>she's still using my phone 5 minutes later, not even calling herself
>she went through my contacts and added several people to my favorites because "you didn't have any"
>not an idea if she deleted any - I have a lot of "exes" in my contacts

Before that, she flat out went through my texts and woke me up by crying on my chest.

>>734074942
I'm too nihilistic. I don't think it particularly matters whether I live or die. I've known since I was a child that I will die by my own hand one day. I've also always known that I will know when the right time is and it hasn't happened yet. I've attempted suicide 3 times in my life and none of them stuck. The next time it won't be an attempt.

>>734075605

If it doesn't matter if you will live or die, then why not cling onto life in the most venial sense. Live out your days indulging your senses at least. If anything, feeling unhappy or nihilistic is better than not having the capacity to feel.

>>734074781
I have had this friend for about 7 years. We've been really really good friends. People will always say like #bestiegoals and shit like that when they talk about us because we seem like the best of bros. Little did I know for so long that I had been a prop for I don't even know how long. Turns out my best friend is a master liar and manipulator. He's smarter than me academically and he likes this. He's also better in conversations with people because I have crippling social anxiety. I have caught him in lies before that were made purely for the purpose of making him look better than me. They have all worked. Any friends I make, once they find out about him, they want him more. Any girls I might have a chance with, they find out about him, they go to him more. He makes it loud and clear when he makes better grades than me, leaving me looking dumb. He even knew I liked this girl a lot but then he started chatting with her a lot and she stopped talking to me... I only truly realized his ways 2 years ago. We're still "best friends" because I have no one else I can relate to closely, if I were to break from him everyone would go to his side and I would be forever alone, but most importantly because I'm a good person. People here would call me a beta or whatever but I know one day his lies will collapse and he will need a true friend. I believe in forgiveness, so I will be there even when he has hurt me so much. I direly wish to continue being a good person, but as I said, it's so depressing and crushing I just don't know if I can live with it anymore.

>>734075871
Fucking A man. Not to be the tough uncle but shit stand up for yourself at least once ya know? Not saying break things off but if he's in a vulnerable position and pisses you off, let him know why he feels lonely. Might be good for him

>>734072350
Tonight I visited foreign coworkers. First time I went out in months. Shared food and showed them the joy of bbq from the US. We talked for a couple of hours about differences between our countries and laughed our asses off about shit that was similar. Extroverting myself makes me cringe like a motherfucker in hindsight, but also acts as some kind of dilutant against depression.

"...one thing's for sure, the more I suffer now, the more I'll enjoy the good times when I pull them out of my ass."

-Eric Weisz (Harry Houdini)

>>734075565
What did she find?

uuhgg kill me

>>734075784
Oh I agree with you. I'm alive purely because I want to learn things. I go to school, make straight A's, live on my own, have enough extra money to have a few hobbies, and have a great supportive girlfriend; I just don't think any of it particularly matters.

That doesn't mean I don't care. I like my life well enough right now. I just also know that I'm going to be the reason I die one day. Its honestly pretty comforting for me. If I'm going to die by my own hand one day then I have no reason to be afraid of trying anything new.

>>734076358

I was texting an ex about work. We had a toxic relationship, but mutually agreed we'd try being friends, as we got along well aside from relationship strife. She knew we were talking again, as I texted her about some of her clothing/important items I found while cleaning my room out.

Apparently we were flirting, but I failed to see it. Tony (ex) and I would banter like two good friends would, y'know, insults and the like. Not like I kept my girlfriend's existence a secret from her, either.

>>734076339
Yeah man. Sometimes I over reflect on my social experiences (when I do have them). Is that what you mean? I'll play a recent event in my mind and think "man I sounded stupid" etc

I got the manipulative girl too.
Ten months in, she'd have let me fuck her if i got my hands on a rubber, but then I realized that we were either fucking or fighting and I knew that wasn't something either of us wanted (beside the fact she was a bitchy 5'2" A cup) so I broke it off.

TWO FUCKING WEEKS LATER she's found her new man toy. He's not very smart, no ambition, drinks a good bit, and is a known pervert.

Guess I was wrong thinking that a), I ever fucking mattered to her, and b), she wanted a decent guy who tried

On, a separate brief note to you suicide romantics: You aren't Mr. Meeseeks, you have a purpose and you are more than capable of making it if you try and rely on your friends. If you don't have any left, or even if you do, I'm here for you and whether you believe in God or not I will be praying for you.

>>734076509
Shitty situation but hey, you know how many guys here would kill for a clingy girlfriend? I know I would. Had one once and I lost her

>>734076503

The terror of departing from consciousness prevents me from sleeping and has made me an insomniac, let alone willfully dying.

>>734076651

It's nice until you're being smothered 24/7. I hardly had privacy until she moved into an apartment with her best friend.

Couldn't even game on the PC without her probing questions.

File: .jpg (21KB, 540x292px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 540x292px

played some video games with an old friend and mostly sat in silence reading random shit and browsing /b/

>>734076738
You ever talk to her directly about it?

>>734076424
Alright anon what's got ya down

>>734076300
The times before that I've tried he's gotten very aggressive and angry, on the edge of violence (but I'm not afraid because I'm much stronger than he is). I couldn't keep pushing at those times because I knew the sudden explosion of anger would send him off trying to talk bad about me. He has more power with many more people so I would just look bad. Idk how he does it but he's so good with words, making it seem like he's innocent and whoever is the "bad guy" look bad.

>>734076962

It's part of why she moved out. We started arguing a lot because I never had time to myself unless I was at work. Same applied to her. We just started wearing each other thin.

Sort of makes me wish that was it. Now I feel too invested to just up and quit on her.

File: 1492179466202.gif (510KB, 700x827px) Image search: [Google]

510KB, 700x827px

>>734076802
this but without a friend

>>734076702
Idk when I realized I felt this way. I remember the first time I told my grandmother I was 9 and she took me straight to therapy. I know I had the thoughts younger than 9 but I didn't know how to say them. I remember when I told my grandmother I was excited because I finally knew the right way to say how I felt. I was heavily medicated until I turned 18 and refused to take any more meds.

I was diagnosed with personality disorder, bipolar disorder, and manic depression. After I stopped taking my meds my symptoms cleared up after a few weeks when the medication was all out of my system.

>>734077003
my throat hurts

>>734077214
Sounds very manipulative indeed. Might be best to cut it off eh? Had a similar situation
>>734077228
Could you see yourself living the rest of your life with her?

>>734077494
Tell me more man, let it all out. Sick? Too much yelling? You gay?

I'm miserable. I'm incredibly sad so I just want to lay down but I can't because if I lay down for an extended period of time without falling asleep I have these horrific leg spasms that give me panic attacks just thinking about them.

>>734077542

Not really. I can't see us making it another year. I'm just turning bi-polar about the whole deal.

I'd rather she leave me, to spare myself all the trouble. Either way, I'm gonna have to buy this bed off her.

>>734077603
sick

>>734077696
Thought I was smooth letting my ex go.. Three years ago. Have had sex with two other girls. Arguments made me blind to who she really was. A good, kind caring person. Beautiful. Fuck man, just think it over

>>734077542
Our families are close. Of course his parents think the world of him. And you probably can understand how much I don't want to cause some huge stupid ass fight between our families. There is no escape. I can literally think of no way to break things off with him and go away without a shit storm. So all I do is sit here and pray that something will knock the sense in him.

>>734077908
Sorry to hear anon. Hope you get well soon

>>734077366

I am depressed and I refuse to take meds. I really do hope you hang on and don't hurt yourself. Remember some Anon out there is rooting for you

>>734078033
It's always the quiet ones nobody believes. Always us that gets painted weird or bad, isn't it? Fuck em man. Just fuck em.

>>734078003

If I make the smart choice, what will I post about in this thread the next time I see it?

>>734078153
no worries friend, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I have some pretty good stuff I'm working towards in the next few years. I personally can't handle meds. They change who I am as a person and I make me feel like someone else is controlling me.

I won't hurt myself so don't worry. I'll see you in these threads again I'm sure. Have a good night anon. I hope we both get a bit of sleep, I'm sure I'll be more cheerful in the morning.

>>734078391
I'm not sure what you mean anon. I suppose if I do make this thread again just chime in and declare where you're at with the whole situation. Or anything really, day to day stuff yknow? Not sure I'll be around long enough for there to be another thread like this, but if there is it'll probably be on the weekend, at night again