So /b/ what is the most expensive thing you have stolen? Personally

>>734059409
I've stolen a couple girlfriends, nigger.

>>734059409
>im not a nigger
yes you are

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>>734059409
can you not be such a nigger thanks

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This email addy.

Hook line and sinker boys!
>>734051823 →

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>>734059409
sealed box of 36 Magic 2014 M:tG boosters
teach that fag to leave the counter unmanned
shit was cash

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>>734061110
also:
probably 100's of packs over the years from walmart
just sorted all that shit, fucking pounds of cards

>>734059409
>I think I've got kleptomania
>I love the adrenaline rush of stealing
Are you an autism?

i stole a gameboy sp from a kid in middle school. I still feel bad about it. My conscious is way too much for me to do shit like that. ill be paranoid for weeks that i'll get caught. Basically im a pussy

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>>734061110
my bro:
>shit shit wtf are you going they have cameras maybe
me
>pic related, out the fucking door
captcha: storefronts

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>>734061561

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>>734061422
not OP here, mtg guy
quit, potential klepto
potential autist
who knows?

>>734061439
In seriousness, 80,000 pounds from a postie several years back wasn't much craic though the psni showed up at my home and nicked me. i forgot to change my trackie and they found one of the notes. so i got b& irl. on armed robbery and intimidation charges

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>>734061688
>can confirm retail theft of price dense items as real world Bethesda RPG greatness tho
>tfw morrowind made me do it

>>734061900
next level
gonna need a
>quick rundown

>>734059409
£4k worth of copper wire, out of this dude's scrapyard.

>>734059409
>from a candy to a car.
posts laptop as most expensive thing

fucking kys

A bottle of whiskey and a pack of ice. Around $30 worth.

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>>734061684
mfw chaos is the actual unironic way

>>734062048
>rundown
>few of the lads
>go to post masters home
>lads hold post master's wife at gunpoint
>post master gets the money
>put it in the boot
>go home act like nothing happened
>post master calls police
>psni show up at home
>forget you forgot some notes in the boot and your tracksuit
>convicted
>get out a few years later

>>734059974
/thread

>>734062072
I also stole some fucked up things, broke into a house and stole a 3 month old whippet pup and sold for £100, fucking love stealing panties, I steal diesel from trucks almost weekly and stole loads of pets from a pet store once, threw about 20 snakes in a binbag lmao, got loads of birds, snakes, fish and reptiles but most died before I could sell so didn't make as much as I should of.

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>>734062072
tweakers get fried here in the U.S. trying to strip live copper wire when the multiples of copper/meth break a key threshold
>freakonomics guise, I can be a PhD too!

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>>734062276
yeahhh it is though. laws of entropy and all that shit...

>>734059409
Some lengths of iron pioe, fittings, and valves from work.
Maybe $100 worth. Before that... A pencil sharpener in 5th grade.

>>734062315
lmao fucking sick mate, some of my idiot friends robbed a coral bookies with machetes and got caught couple months back, I know some guys too who started their sniff buisness on the back of a series of cash machine snatches where they chained em to the back of quads.

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>>734062423
stolen gf's roomates, ex gf's panties
yeah why is that so goddamn rewarding
and do you think they figure it out, or they are working with girl brains and will never piece together that I'm the true paanty thief?

have klepto dreams of opening up drawers in houses during the day, finding Skyrim level loot, thinking: where can I fence this? pawn shop?

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Try and beat this if you dare.

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OP here

The shittiest thing ive stolen is this meme

>>734059409
The last time I went out of town, I had to board my dog for three nights. When I picked him back up, I noticed they only charged me for two, and I didn't correct them.

>>734062804
Dunno why it is like I can control myself if I don't sniff coke and drink. But fuck me the shit I've done to steal panties when drunk is baffling sober. I've robbed prostitutes of panties, I try to time it so I either 1. won't see them again or 2. Have plausible deniability ie. many people in the house when I take them.

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>>734061110
>>734061289
anyway, to finish:
>get caught at Books-a-Million removing dozens of packs from cardboard blister sleeves so as to shove in my pants w/o alarm bars randomly placed in like every 10th one
>Uh Sir?
>Sir?
>No merch in br sir
>speedwalk to car
>drive home
>cop comes
>uhh u do this?
>yeah.
>they mad, want $$$

>I end up paying them for about $35
>stole and kept about $75 worth
>went home and that was it
lovebeingwhite.png

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>>734063252
>>734063616
coke don't even work on me bro, just gambling and theft
my friends are fucking baffled every time I do a line and nothing happens

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>>734063809
so I'm expecting like a late life autism diagnosis, or just a yuuuge brain tumor fucking up my serotonin

I once stole a digger and sold it to some gypsies for £300 and stolen yz250

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>>734063616
best part
>cop: oh and some old lady got scared by all the hubbub, amberlamps called
>me: what old lady?
tunnelvision or them fucking with me?
i'll never know

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>>734059409
1#
>Lenovo
>Expensive

2#
>Hurr durr from candy to car
>Love the adrenalin
>most Expensive was a shitty notebook

3#
>Im not a nigger
>Steals a lot
>dont have to
>110% nigger

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>>734063220
>underrated larceny

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>>734064398
>numbers his paragraphs
nigger detected

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>>734064398
Sum up;

Op is fag nigger

>>734064745
>Scared of numbers, dont know what they mean

Whos the true nigger here, tyrone?

As a kid I stole a Tamagochi

I once stole a topless pic of my mom from my gran

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>>734062315
lol do all British postmasters have like a safe with the town's money?
did I miss that day in Harry Potter, cause if that shit holds true over here imma become a fucking postmaster

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>>734064398

& a lotta passwords of FB, Onedrive, Dropbox, Twitter, etc in ma university

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>>734062700
jesus fucking christ, here I was expecting some fellow amateurs
that's straight outta a trailer park boys episode

>>734062315
So you held his wife while he went into the post office? Kinda like with than bank job over NI eh? Would ya do it again but be more careful or do something else?

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>>734059409
Someone's life

>>734065185
Ya wanna hear some of my stories lmao, I live in one of the worst area's of the UK and I am a petty criminal.

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>>734065007
>007 get
sounds right

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>>734065345
actually yes
white depravity is a hobby of mine
continue

>>734065185
Here's one we did like a year ago, there was this petrol station as part of a supermarket, so we drove our stolen farm quads over to this garage (not that far), no shutters so we smash door and pile in, my mate no lie spend his time in the garage stealing walkers crisps, coke and chocolate bars while we loaded the safe onto the quad.

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>>734065603
holy fuck, I wouldn't have even thought those things are that easily movable
how the fuck do you open one?

back when I was a cable installer, I pretty much took anything that wasn't nailed down. Well, so long as it didn't pertain directly to whatever I was doing. So, no computers (digital cameras though, yes.) no TVs (except for a few portable dvd players), and well.. I took a few video game systems, so there was those... also a $450 ladder.

>>734065488
I also used to smash drug addicts windows when they didn't pay what they owed for £10, no joke I think i've smashed 100-200 windows in my youth. One I remember I snuck up to the front room while everyone was inside watching the telly I smashed the window with this tiny hammer and it took 4 blows before retreating downhill on one of those mini bmx's giving the chasing addicts the finger. I once burned down a drug addicts house but luckly he wasn't in thinking back

Ok so, you know those little jars at the register that say "take a penny, leave a penny"?

Well one time I did take a penny, but I never have left one.

>>734062315
and if you cant answer me this:>>734065032
I at least want a northern irish prison story

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>>734065940
rate arson 1-10
I'm thinking of picking it up as a thing when tshtf

>>734065819
With a wrecking bar and hammers.

I once shot a pub while drunk with a shotgun i think because I got beat up by another patron.

Last time I got arrested my mate was driving a van with no tax, mot and the like. I ended up sniffing a quarter ounce of coke to "get rid of the evidence" while getinng chased, I plugged the two temazepam tablets up my arse for the comedown in the station.

I personally know 3 convicted murderers, the last 2 did the same guy they killed him over £20 and some disrespect by shooting him with a .22 rifle.

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>>734065915
how the fuck did they not figure it was the stranger just in their house?

>>734066348
0 - No pleasure from it at the time plus I was scared shitless I was gonna get busted for murder untill I found out he wasn't inside at the time

I know a guy who I went out robbing with he was on the main road going to Blackpool when his van fucked up, not to be dtered he stole a nearby construction digger drove it 2 streets away from his house, went to bed and was woken later by the bobbies at the door.

I've only stolen shoes. So like $30-40 pairs from Walmart.

I've been accomplice and watch out for other stuff. All petty shit from big stores.

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>>734066457
well damn i'll pay my fucking tabs if i'm ever there

>>734059409
THISTHREADISALLFULLOFTHEIVINGNIGGERSTHISTHREADISALLFULLOFTHEIVINGNIGGERSTHISTHREADISALLFULLOFTHEIVINGNIGGERS
THISTHREADISALLFULLOFTHEIVINGNIGGERS

THISTHREADISALLFULLOFTHEIVINGNIGGERS
THISTHREADISALLFULLOFTHEIVINGNIGGERSTHISTHREADISALLFULLOFTHEIVINGNIGGERSTHISTHREADISALLFULLOFTHEIVINGNIGGERSTHISTHREADISALLFULLOFTHEIVINGNIGGERSTHISTHREADISALLFULLOFTHEIVINGNIGGERS


THISTHREADISALLFULLOFTHEIVINGNIGGERS
THISTHREADISALLFULLOFTHEIVINGNIGGERS

THISTHREADISALLFULLOFTHEIVINGNIGGERS

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>>734066576
thanks for confirming, was pretty sure the after-repercussions would feel jumping off a bridge level

>>734066960
You know the type of guys, they were wannabe gangsters, stupid if you ask me.

>>734066975

and you are full of spelling mistakes. go figure.

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>>734066902
high school bros have this old story of walking out the garden section of walmart whilst distracting the idiot workers
>1200 XPS laptop
they love to tell that one, my close buddy was the "getaway" driver, most sketched out kid back then
laughs all around

>>734067051
Depends if you enjoy pyro then go for it, I just don't enjoy it. Plus it was the reprucussions of murder not arson

Always steal stupid shit when drunks.. some folding chairs from a bar, parking signs, cones and some old lady politician's poster that i hung up in my room for my dissapointed mother to see... And i'm a grown ass 26yo man

>>734062804
>have klepto dreams of opening up drawers in houses during the day, finding Skyrim level loot, thinking: where can I fence this? pawn shop?
Lmao

I stole some panties. Found a nice pair in the wash at a public laundry. Don't know why I kept those. Jerked off in a friend's clothes. Like wearing her skirt and bra. You do dumb shit when you're horny.

>>734067500
Lmao, I once woke up to find an ornate stone statue of a lion in my room after a blackout night

anyone here ever raped before?

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>>734067435
I know the chaos of it is fucking hilariously awesome, used to almost light my buddies house on fire back when he was a kid who hated his mom, would just put gas and shredded paper in a garbage can and burn it inside their (closed) garage
shit gets even funnier when it gets out of hand, but then it was never my house lol

I stole a book

>>734059409
Only Time.

>>734061440

Yo was this on a bus during a field trip?

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>>734067609
took the founderframed portrait from a UCF frat when they made the mistake of letting me in with one of their bro's big sisters I knew
they stole it back from the back of my truck before I could get away, would have been fucking epic on my wall
oh well, I think they shut those assholes down anyway lol

I never seed my torrents

>>734067744
Now it is totally a nigger thread.

>>734067744
Tell us your story first.

>>734067775
>The mind of a psychopath

>>734067982
>>734068039
Ya can't get busted for talk can ya? I might tell some of me rape stories like

>>734059409
not really a thing per se, but i once stole an NBA player's wallet, had a fuck ton of cash in it which I jacked the cash and ditched the rest

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enjoy jail you stupid idiot, good job admitting a CRIME

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>>734067852
lol umad
>tfw girl next door steals gameboy color, gb camera as a kid
>go next door w/ dad, get it back
>ID'd by the photos of m y knee I was trying to paint into a boob to wank to
>still feel bad, that kid had nothing, lived with mean grandparents, fucked up siblings, slept on mattress on floor
>would go back and give her my gameboy today
feels bad man

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>>734068171
trying real hard not to be tho, hope that counts

>>734059409
I stole a bra from a hot chubby bitch.

Bras are not cheap. And I love stealing her panties because she lives like a fucking hoarder and I stole like 15 pairs of panties and a couple bras without her ever knowing.

She's a gross kind of hot. My heart couldn't possibly love her, but my dick is like a dog taht wants to roll around in that garbage, having the time of his fucking life.

panties weren't cheap either.

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>>734068307
>is a thing per se
shiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeet maaaaaaaaaang

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>>734068549
dude my gf almost kills me when i step on her bras
step
on
them
steal something cheaper, jesus asshole

>>734059409
i stole my brothers gf and his wallet so i could take her out.

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>>734068171
plus I love aminals, make sense of that, asshole!

>>734068860
lol fuck you I'll do what I want.

I could have stolen MORE bras but I decided not to.

Besides, jerking off with a bra in her size is unreal, even as a guy who has jerked off exclusively with panties for the last 2 decades.

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>>734068957
now that's just efficient

>>734059409
1 pound of weed. At the time that was worth about $3500 maybe a lil less. This was 6 years ago.

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>>734069153
i just kinda feel bad for the bitch, girls prolly gotta work a few hours just to buy one of those bras
oh well, at least you're enjoying them, isn't that what counts?

>Live in hawaii
>Vacation in hawaii
>Resorts have spas
>Spas have lockers
>Lockers made of wood because hawaii
>Pull them open
>Steal cameras, wallets, car keys, watches
>Be 14

I honestly looked forward to stealing.
In the back seat of the car headed to the resorts with family just so fucking excited to pull open locker doors and steal.

Looking through strangers cameras also became a fetish.

That was all kid stuff compared to what i do now.

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>>734069301
>weed never fluctuates in price
>my babysitters paid the same I do 30 years ago

[email protected]

12Shoeyou

Stole this account a while ago.

>>734069329
>looking through stuff fetish
see>>734062804
I swear, I have dreams where I get gut excitement, like butterflies while looking through other people's shit
is there a name for this?

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>>734068407
shit man, report him to the federal unidentified crimes police, stat

>be me
>out with gf one night
>go to where an outdoor festival has recently shut down for the night
>no one else around
>find the booze stand
>use a nearby broom to bust the door handle and break in
>take off with a garbage bag full of liquor

>>73406963This is how i know im sick i would just throw shit off the balcony or i trashcans or just stomp on it. I just wanted to steal it, look through it and move on. Like stealing luggage at airports. getting into a cab and just rifling through bags. I need too or i dont know what else i might do

I "accidentally" stole a brand new computer a while ago.

I had a project on my school where i needed empty boxes, so i just went around my neighborhood looking for them.
I found a somewhat big box a few blocks away, it was heavy but i just assumed it was filled with garbage, since i didnt want to be an ass and just throw it out right there i just went back to my house carrying it.
I was practically shaking when i got home and i found out what it was, i thought about getting it back but i was too scared to do so, i even planned to get back at night and leave it there but, again, i was scared someone would see me.
The worst of all is, i didnt even got to keep it, i just kept it hidden in my drawer (it was a relatively small Lenovo AIO) looking for a way to explain my parents how i got it, my mom found it and i had to tell her it was a present for my father (i have no idea why i said that, its the first thing which came to my mind).
Its pretty much the only time i have stolen something, and it was by accident.

>>734065234
>So you held his wife while he went into the post office
The lads did, one person trailed along to make sure he didn't do anything fucking stupid and get his wife killed. To answer your question I don't see myself doing it again I'm on remand and don't want to go back to prison. I've spent too many years in prison. This was just one of them. Honestly though if a few fellas show up at your place with a rifle and a pair of handguns you're going to be opening it.
T>>734065032
>lol do all British postmasters have like a safe with the town's money?
Posties usually have decent money, it depends on which one. It can be a decent haul. None of the money was really recovered either. I don't know where it is btw police.
>>734068407
Already convicted, time served off on license

>>734069323
if you knew her you wouldn't feel bad. Her life is a mess and she has no shortage of bras OR money.

I like how you ignore the 15 pairs of panties, and that's just in one time, I've stolen way more than that from her over the years.

>>734059409
>Personally I steal a lot, im not a nigger

You're an honorary nigger.

>>734066193
>>734066193
Answered that:
What specifically would you like to know? A few memorable times:
-Making shitty handkerchief art
- Wing getting shut down due to a bombscare (once)
- 2003: shite on the walls (separate offence)
- alot of tension in 2011 when someone shot a NIPS on the m1

once you get in and past strand road and get the trial done with it's smooth sailing

>>734059409
>Personally I steal a lot, Most expensive: Lenovo Y700 Touch
Son of bitch! Bring me my Lenovo Y700 Touch back!

>>734059409
>to a car
>Most expensive: Lenovo Y700 Touch
dafaq is wrong with you

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>>734070654
lol my gf thinks me stealing my ex's roommates panties is funny, but she would fucking leave me If I took a $60 Victoria's Secret bra from one of those bitches, i'm sure of it

some fake nose rings from Claire's because they wouldn't take my application/resume

>>734070245

lol wtf..

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>>734071323
logic

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>>734071409
>hmm just a random ass box here

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>>734070923
strangely the handkerchief art intrigues me the most here, please elaborate

>>734071509

Yeah.. I wonder if his dad liked it tho

>>734071351
"but baby I stole it for YOU!"

Also, how the fuck do you get away with stealing panties and having a girlfriend in on it that much? I want stories dammit.

Does she jerk you off with your ex's stolen panties? Does she wear them? What happened when you were first caught?

>>734068860
can confirm, I would fucking murder you if you stole one of my bras

>>734071432
like, how cheap are the cars you steal if the most expensive thing you've stolen is a ~$1000 laptop??

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>>734071404
tits or GTFO

i steal 20 dollars from my mother every time we get in a fight, which is fairly often. and i use it to order pizza and don't give her any.

I've been doing this for years, so I'd have expected her to find out by now,
but nothing has changed, and she's never mentioned it.

>>734071697
I'm a man.

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>>734070923
I can only assume NIPS means Japanese and m1 stands for a tank tho

>>734071509
In my defense, it was close to the garbage can, so i blame UPS for it.

>>734071663
He did, he didn't really needed it since he had a high end PC but i assumed he loved the gesture (according to him, its the most expensive present he has gotten)
He would use it over his own PC just to prove how much he liked it.

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>>734071766
wat
>claire's application
>what is reverse gender discrimination
how the fuck did you think you were getting hired to sell nail polish to 10 year olds?
were you doing it for the discount on Neopets plushies?

>>734065032
btw if some batshit anon is wanting to try this i'll list some preparations:
- the vehicle, you're going to want one that is nondescript, put some petrol in the boot (you'll need this to burn it out to get rid of the forensics never keep the vehicle on hand) when you get the aforementioned petrol pay in notes and not card otherwise they'll track that and nick you
- Masks, go with something again not very descript get it somewhere alot of transactions are being made again pay with notes, not card
- Weapons, if you can't get a handgun or a rifle your best bet is batons or a steel bat (the main goal is for it to look intimidating) however test fire the firearms first if you get firearms and make sure they don't backfire otherwise you're going to blow a fucking hand off.
- Drive the speed limit at all times
- for the love of god don't batter the individual you're targeting as he might see colleagues and that's a fucking tip to getting in trouble before it ends, if at all possible separate the couple from the original flat (if you throw her in the boot make sure she of course can't see your face and to again be prepared to burn out that car)
- If you use stolen vehicles which of course you should switch the plates, you can get what you need to switch the plants at any hardware shop.

>>734071873
>He would use it over his own PC just to prove how much he liked it.

D'aw

So do you play a lot of video games? I ask because it seems like some kind of game logic: if you need boxes, just go look around in the environment for boxes.

>>734072028
they insisted it wasn't because I was a man.
I guess my internalized pedophiliac tendencies were showing on my face.

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>>734071873
>dad never exists
>boy constructs elaborate fantasy involving gifting nonexistent father figure with ill-begotten gains from a nondescript neighborhood box
>dad now exists
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>734071645
the tradition in republican wings like 4 is to make art out of a handkerchief or anything else you can find like popsicle sticks it makes the time go by quicker. other than that its mostly watching footie matches on the tube and waiting for a visit
>>734071828
prison service and highway

>>734069428
Didn´t you post that in the snapchat thread? Haha

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>>734072143
never play poker

>>734071697
You don't understand the rules.

Lurk Moar

>>734072231
they split you guys up by affiliation or neighborhood? republican as in IRA or just in general?

hey, I've had a question about something I saw while working at target

There was a guy that came in, buying a single, complete outfit (shoes, socks, belt, pants, tie, watch, etc) and then paid in crisp 20 dollar bills. How sketch is this?


Also, if a guy buys a mallet with cash, says he doesn't need a bag, and comes back in 20 minutes later saying he doesn't need it anymore and wants a refund, what the fuck did he do???

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>>734072415
>that day when a (((summerfag))) tells you to lurk more
ok, lemme get in my fucking time machine and go back to 2008...

>>734071695
What size are your bras?

>>734071828
Nips.

People capitalize acronyms, like NIPS. Nips is short for nippon, the word for Japan in Japanese.

>>734072471
real ira to be exact but honestly its not as tightknit as you might expect. they were getting rid of political wings back in the early 2000s but in 03 when they tried to implement it there was a protest and they gave in and kept them keeping highsecurities away from nonces. 4 is real/whateverthenameisnow and 3 is c.

>>734072537
>returned a dented as fuck sledgehammer to Home Depot after destroying neighborhood mailboxes, dumpsters
>hey, you sold me a dented fucking sledgehammer!
>Oh, so sorry sir!

how to rent a sledgehammer

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>>734072360
Nahh,im actually joking. I am a woman

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>>734059409
When I got made redundant from my last IT job, there was a Dell Latitude laptop in my drawer that I'd fixed for a Manager.

But he'd left and the ID for the repair job had vanished. The laptop had sat in my drawer for around 6 months till someone came to claim it.

On my final day, I just put it in my bag and walked out with it.

>>734072537
100% that mallet is a murder weapon

>>734059409
Stole my grandmas $1200 iMac, the day before i was going to steal it she even said, "Oh I forgot i had this thing" and replaced it with the old computer she used to have

>>734072819
dirty bitch

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>>734072598
30C

it's fucking impossible to find in stores, so I have to buy them online for like $70 apiece.

pic-related is basically me getting bitched at by something that basically just gives free returns

>>734072995
they shoulda seen the nigger stealing those noserings coming

>>734072995
but them are some nice baps love

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>>734071670
nah i kinda just get too loose lipped when drunk and she's just the right kind of pervy to find that hot instead of weird, so stories are sometimes forthcoming
still have them stuffed in a LEGO box somewhere though, if I recall correctly
>love is finding someone as kinky as you

>>734072724
>>hey, you sold me a dented fucking sledgehammer!
>>Oh, so sorry sir!
fucking dead lmao

>>734073059
wut. She's obv latino.

>>734072819
thought that would have been the weirdest job app ever, nice tit/areola ratio tho, good volume and color

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>>734073152
No, I'm light-skinned black

>>734073296
Yes, yes the golden ratio is in effect, no?

>>734073296
thanks.

>>734062315
tracksuit
>found the chav

>>734073403
forreal.

>>734073431
oh my god, someone do the thing

>>734073403
Can you rub mustard on your feet and repeat "aaah bisto" on webm or just mustard on feet in a pic?

>>734059409

are the hinges on that piece of shit broken yet? worst case design ever.

>>734071695
show me a pic of your underwear drawer, I'll tell you what I'd steal

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>>734072819
>>734073296
actually gonna need to see those mammaries in motion, upon further review

>>734073499
i'm not here to hijack a thread. i simply know i have to prove it when i say i'm a femanon

>>734073403
Do you like your coffee white cause i like mine black ;)

>>734073403
you doing requests? Pants down, legs open with panties pulled up!

>>734072121
AoE II from time to time but not much, i dont have much free time.

And i just did it because it was for a school project and was in a hurry.

>>734072211
Stop projecting please

>>734073403
its time for me to search the web for some good light-skinned black girl porn

>>734073499
is that like a shoe-on-head kinda thing, or do you have a fetish for mustard?

>>734073526
don't have a dresser, I just throw my clothes on the floor to save money

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>>734073403
truly poppin some wood here, beautiful boobs

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You are a real nigger or your autism is very high.

>>734073680
Please reply to my pick up line about coffee, much apreciated thanks

>>734073680
It's a weird story about the mustard I think its because my mother forced me to eat it on my sandwiches and I hated it back then. I just like to lick mustard off women's feet and lower legs for some reason.

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>>734073542
hijack away, we were LARPing about petty crime until thos etits showed up

>>734069090
>I love animals
>animals are more deserving of life than those pitiful humans
>I hate humans
>burn them
>burn them all

a press drill
three 24 cases of beer

>>734073809
that's not me

>>734073827
._. sorry for asking

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>>734073662
>close to the nerve

>>734073668
Misty Stone, bonus points for every time she says "oh my goodness" instead of "oh my god", bcuz religion

>>734073403
MOAR!

Seriously im trying to rub one off before bed.

>>734073915
I too was an edgy 14 year old at one time.

I'm guessing you're actually some kind of dragon/wolf hybrid?

>>734073842
eh... tempting. But currently I'm not shaved. i mean, i could post some older nudes, but you may have already seen them in older threads

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>>734073915
whoa, not down with murder, just inflagration
>vlad the implier

>>734070496
Ya know lightnin' Lee?

>>734073951
Apologies sir, good luck and good soldgering

>>734074026
Post them. I'll shoot a load off in your honor.

>>734074026
seriously, imagine the POWER
plus I wanna see that fuzzy peach

>>734059409
A...pen?
If piracy counts I stole thousands of dollars in movies/tv/vg/books. As single act not much more than 100$ I guess.

>>734074026
BUSH IS AMAZING, POST IT!

>>734073532
I don't have an underwear drawer ._.

>>734073842
Ok my story
>heading home from smoking weed at mates on bike
>see a passed out women on street about 11pm
>go over to see if she's dead, she isn't
>she wakes up somewhat, mumbling about her house
>dick is diamonds
>i lead her down a side street and tell her i'll take her home for a bj
>she says she'll fuck me if i take her home
>weigh options
>don't believe her think she is using me to get home
>start getting agressive and close with her, she is still mumbling
>slap her and pull her to the floor
>we are lying in grass right now with me trying to push my hands down her jeans

anyone want me to continue?

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>>734074210
or at least hook a brother up and link me those other threads, sexy

>>734073982
lmao she's nice, looking at ghettogaggers kitty katherine right now

>>734074331
fucking sandniggers

>>734059409
>live in country/farm area
>not poor but don't spend money on bs
>friend knows a rich girl who moved there
>family builds big house
>dad has lamborghini
>friend is a ladykiller
>knows the code from a drunken bang and run he did on her
>3 weeks later we see her family is out of town
>steal
>sell it to chopper

the km was under 50 000. made a little coin from it. Sometimes when shit falls into your lap like that, you just do what you gotta do. I always justified it because it was insured and the only people losing money was the banks.

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>>734074330
then collect the panties you've worn all week and arrange on bed!

I love panty pics like this, I have gigabytes of pics just of panties

I'll read it just fucking post

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>>734074255
Fine

>>734074026
love the bush girl, maybe you hold up a sign saying "aaah bisto"?

>>734074471
seriously what the fuck is up with your "aaah bisto"

>>734069090
Same

>>734074466
how kinky is your hair?

>>734074435
holy shit, the black one is super cute :D

I'll think about it, I'd have to get up though, and I've been meaning to go to bed soon

>>734072819
Hello fellow Oregon Anon.

>>734074553
he can't cum without hearing it

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>>734074338
no threads archived i dont think. heres an oldie for you

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>>734074466
goddamn, that's what you call unshaved?
mmm I would make you sit on my face then fuck the shit out of you
dick: throbbin

>>734074466
beautiful! I love a good bush, thanks!

>>734074612
you would seriously make my month- I haven't had any luck with obtaining pics for my collection.

Everyone posts tits, but somehow get weirded out posting their underwear lol.

same here i'm hungry for some african cunny, nothing hotter than when a black girl says yes massa

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>>734074620
a pity, gorgeous though, wanna see those legs spread, beautiful

>>734074579
curly. my pubes get curly too when full grown.
>>734074633
my pubes arent completely grown out right now. i had a runway strip going on for a while but got unmotivated to keep it up, so i'm letting it grow out.

>>734074620
I want to suck those tits so hard I leave hickeys

>>734074553
That advert for "aaah bisto"is like the main memory of my childhood, when a woman says it to me I feel amazing

>>734074826
maybe some other time, anon-kun

>>734074620
I will fap to you if you could only please send more pics x

>>734074466

Don't mind the hair on your vagina but come on man, spread legs so we can all see your bitch wrinkle clearly

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>>734074953
thanks for the attention.

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>>734074620
should I blow my load now or do you have more incoming?

>>734074738
I certainly get it tbh, it's a little uncomfortable...

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>>734075040
mmm those curves

>>734074331
go on

What did she look like?

>>734074953
Any requests?

Dubs tells me what to post, trips tells me what to do.

>>734075040
seriously you have a bunch of guys jerking it to you right now. Got any good pantyshots?

>>734075040
your a star, fucking loving that waist and ass x

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>>734075018
You've been warned, not the prettiest sight.

>>734075162
what is your favorite brand? Do you have any favorite pairs? Least favorite?

>>734075175
Please post a shot of that ass, I can't bear it without one

>>734075175
real femanon didn't post this. i'll post pics when i want.

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>>734075092
>this is of deadly serious concern, I assure you

>>734075286
love it- I would creampie you so fucking hard

>>734075286
gorgeous

Oh boy here's a good story.

>be me
>16. I was an absolute waste of life
>ran away from home and living with stoner kids
>haven't eaten in a day or two
>stoner friends encourage me to smoke the devils lettuce
>awholenewworld.mp3
>really really fucking stoned
>stoner friends and i get really hungry and have no food. We decide to go steal some from the grocery store
>me and other friend volunteer as tribute
>get to store
>we walk around for a while pretending to look at stuff and contemplate our purchases
>suddenly see cookie dough roll and forget everything else our friends wanted us to steal
>ihaveamightyneed.png
>call friend over and he too forgets
>only cookie dough was wanted and needed
>we devise a plan to hold hands and pretend to be gay to draw attention away from the cookie dough we had in my jacket sleeve
>we stumble to the door and make it back home
>best cookie dough i ever fucking had
>everyone else starved and i was later kicked out of the house and ended up homeless

TL,DR i got really stoned and pretended to be gay to steal cookie dough.

>>734075286
honestly I'd eat you out

>>734075286
hoooooooooooooooly shit going to blow right on this one NOW
tyvm femanon, you sexy

Seriously been browsing /b for ages and this is the first girl i'm desperate for more pics

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>>734075418
mission accomplished
may the force be with you
goodnight sexy mocha

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>>734075194
eh not really. closest one i could find. sorry it's a little blurry.

>>734075396
that sure is a story, but I wouldn't call it good- jesus christ.

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>>734075542
hey, thanks! your tribute has been acknowledged, sleep well

>>734075555
seriously rock hard, fucking love it more please

>>734075555
no problem, thanks for making the effort- that lingerie is sexy as hell.

Also, nice quads

>>734075286

Thanks for the warning but that is exactly what I wanted to see from you, graphic and hardcore.

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>>734075649
ooh i forgot about this one .

>>734075729
I would kill to cover that fine ass in cum

>>734075286

Close up of pooper now please.

>>734075729
THANK YOU thats my go to pic for the finish right now fucking amazing, I will wait till you finish dumping. Please don't stop I love edging myself

>>734059409
You're a full on nigger

>>734075729
any feet?

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>>734075879

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>>734072121
>if you need boxes, just go look around in the environment for boxes.
my fucking sides

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>>734075952
You nasty fuck

3 complete rigs
Lots of mices and keyboards
3 displays
Everything from school

>>734059847
Should of just skipped there bullshit and emptied your wallet for them

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>>734075952
luckily for you, one of my friends has a footfetish. so i do, even if feet aren't really my thing.

>>734075962
This is gold, seriously amazing body plus I love that curly hair x

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>>734075818
please do

>>734076137
curl em baby this is right up my alley cute af toes, do you wear nail polish?

>>734076271
oh my god yes! Those panties are amazing! What brand are they?

>>734074331
Continue!

>>734076271
do ya want a double tribute?

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>>734071732
the most underratedly autistic post in this thread, upon review

>>734076271
fucking aye, can we see your ass sitting on your feet?

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>>734076170
thank you!

>>734076422
its so autistic we all know is b8

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Kinky enough?

>>734076271
if I wasn't so paranoid about meeting people off 4chan I'd give you my info to meet up literally whenever you wanted that beautiful pussy devoured, in exchange for some panties to jerk off with

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>be me in 2004ish
>acquaintance invites me to a """business opportunity"""
>mfw I know it is mlm bs
>held at a church that had to be run by fucking horders
>get bored and start to poke around
>open cabinet with about 200 IBM Model Ms.
>back my car up to the nearest door and liberate Model Ms. Some are still in the box.
>wipe off and sell Model Ms for the next five years
>buy a car and pay off my loans from selling Model Ms at 70-100 dollars.

This brown bitch stole this whole thread, not sure it is that valuable though.

Show us where you shit from.

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>>734076496
nvm you'rw right, has to be
tendies level shit right there

>>734076476
best thread ever, I blow my load and this chick keeps delivering, must be my birthday week

I've robbed so much shit I can't remember honestly
Now I just rob small things I need now and then
Like overpriced razors at the supermarket
I will pay for all my food and shit but $25 for a pack of razor blades and I'm just gonna pocket that shit.

Also most times i walk through a pharmacy I pocket something
Random meds and shit

>>734074826
Therapy or suicide

>>734076476
Can i tell ya what would send me fucking crazy is a pic of you naked back to a mirror, ass of feet and that curly hair lying down the nape of you back. I would do anything for this picture, you name it

Large sum of cash still in bank envelope out of the center console in a car around xmas. Complete stranger. classic going around seeing if cars are unlocked

Still holding out hope for some underwear pics

>>734076637
dude much rather see sweet pussy then hear either lame or made up stories expect that irish guy i believe him

>>734076544
>thinking this is what some girl getting off anonymously wants
the autism continues

Probably my cousin's lingerie panties..idk how much those cost

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>>734076637
I laughed really hard at this

>inb4 is that a piece of shit at my bunghole
It's a freckle.

>>734076877
I don't give a goddamn fuck, I'm having fun. If I wanted to curb my feral sexual instincts I'd hit up a bitch on facebook or tindr but I'm on 4chan where people will openly and proudly tell a woman they just nutted to the pictures she's sharing with a room full of strangers.

>>734076864

Oh I more than agree, just want to see her anus and I will be a happy man.

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>>734076637
stfu, we had enough of my mtg card theft bullshit
tits were appreciated femanon

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>>734076580
Pic related - one of the blue labels I kept. I still have two unopened grey labels.

I stole valve caps off peoples cars when I was younger. Got caught once by a guy that lived at the end of the street.

>>734077019
gotta be proud what a mixture of aspergers, mentally disturbed and the extremely bored can achieve

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>>734077019
>feral sexual instincts
oh. my. fucking. god.
you will never see the inside of a live vagina, anon
my sides, however thank you

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>>734077149
holy fuck, i cannot agree faster

>>734076976
caption plz read "aaah bisto", or wear glasses or wear a cardigan plz

>>734076976

Thank you. You have brightened up my day.

Post your skype so I can expose my penis, you are chill with a cool sense of humour, I like that.

>>734076976
or mustard anywhere near you

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>>734076775
i'm considering it... would you pay me?

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>>734077089
gj anon, this looks like it sucks

>>734077331
Damn your pussy looks gorgeous that angle

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>>734077286
thanks but no skype for you fags. unless you pay me

>>734077396
wat

>>734077331
that picture got me so fucking hard thinking about your toes r they the same colour?

>>734077161
have fun bring the only guy in the room too busy being mad to enjoy the pussy. What the fuck are you even on 4chan for? Youth Group kick you out for being too edgy?

>>734059409

>I steal a lot
>im not a nigger

Trust me, you might think you aren't a nigger, but you are. You're more of a nigger than lots of black people are

>>734077145
>steal valve caps w/ friend
>construction site
>big fucking steamroller size backhoe
>take valve cap
>giant tire violently deflates in like 20 seconds
>fucking hilarious limp 3 legged bulldozer

>>734077331
how can i pay?

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>>734077311
i don't even have any mustard in my kitchen, did your mother jerk off your pencil dick with a mustard bottle when you were 9 or something?

>>734077498
>>734077498
add my KiK so we can discuss payment: Spanksauce

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>>734077570
>already came
>unironically viewing thread contents while triggering autists
life is good

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>>734076976
Would dump my nuts in your shitpipe.

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>>734077711
lying, also rapist don't do it femanon

>>734077688
No of course not my mother was sweet and kind and everyone loved her, it's just a little quirk of mine how about "aah bisto" or cardigan plox

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>>734077602
my paypal is

www dot paypal dot me/poodlegoddess

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>>734077805
dude, something happened to the top

>>734077741
Is it only me but do you usually find /b boring as fuck its just that I watched all the good tv and have no attention span to start watching new ones?

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>>734077805
those piercings are really hot.

>>734077089
No Windows key or context menu key? What is this useless garbage?

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I'm running out of good old content guys. i might leave soon

>>734078006
add my kik i will pay you:spanksauce

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>>734077912
that's not even a sentence, show me the predicate nigger
cannot compute

>>734077840
before you ask, that is not my real last name or location.

>>734077945
>Look up prices on model Ms.
>Control+escape will get you where you want to go.

alright goodnight, femanon out.

thanks for all the attention

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>>734077923
Thanks, I'm a fan of piercings, myself. Your nips would look good pierced.

>>734077912
ok, reread 10 times, will answer according to what I assume was your intended message:
NO NIGGAH IM WATCHING REILY REID FONDLE ALINA LI BETWEEN SOUTHPARK COMMERCIALS

>>734078253
you're right they would! i hope to get them pierced soon. I also want to get a tattoo of a few pawprints on my thigh.