Well guys, after months of sobriety I have relapsed on dope.

Why do you think some people are able to use drugs and stop whenever they want and other people are doomed to be slaves to a substance?

can you email transfer me some money? [email protected] thanks bro

>>733860890
Bump

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>>733860987

How does it feel being a fucking loser?

I've been abusing meth cocaine and xanax recently, planning on going to rehab soon. Have you ever been there? What triggered the relapse? I don't consider myself an addict btw, just impulsive. Good luck kicking that shit, you can still do it. Also feel free to AMA about crystal

>>733860696
Where the fuck do you get clean gear from?

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bang a gong get it on

>>733861088
I bet your unwarranted sense of superiority comes from your sheltered life experience and parents telling you you're a special snowflake. Addiction is pretty much a disease. Whether it's drugs, sex, gambling or in your case, being addicted to semen. Fuck your self

>>733860696

how long were you on the wagon? I've got 4.5 months under my belt and never want to use again.

>>733860696
Why are you so dumb?

>>733860696
Whats your life philosophy, OP? I see it as you can die at any given time, for no particular reason, so why worry about anything really? A day at a time, whatever shit comes your way, oh well.

>>733860890
Certain people are wired that way. I firmly believe that addiction is largely inherited. It runs in my family (though mostly alcoholism, my cousin is a meth head though) and there are certain drugs like heroin or meth that have a stigma that is truly warranted. Once you feel it once, you realize nothing feels as good as that way you felt when you did it and you spend a lot of time thinking about it. If you're lucky, you will try it, throw up for hours and feel lethargic and sick and never want to touch it again. But if you're receptive to opiates, it feels like heaven and all you can think about is having That feeling again. It's also a progressive illness. I didn't start out with heroin, I messed with painkillers for many years and already was physically and mentally hooked when I took that dive.

>>733861088
Not good dude. Not good.

>>733861096
Yes I've been to rehab twice once for opiates and once for benzos. If you stick with it and follow through afterwards and do what they tell you to do you have a chance at staying clean. Meth is something I've never tried. How does it make you feel initially and what is the comedown like?

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I love to smoke weed every day! I'm high as balls right now holy shit haha!!! I get fucking high as shit and jack off!!! You are a faggit like Bob Saget!!!
>>733861404
Wrong it is sooooooo fucking good sir... You just don't realize how good. Weed, fucking beer, sex... Fucking blowing loads all up in a woman's vagina...all up in her cunt...CUNT!!! This is what it's like to lose your MIND on fucking... DRUGS!!!!

So. Fucking. ..oh my god.. Good.

I just hit 6 months a few days ago but I'm sure I'm gonna fuck up soon. I don't really give a fuck anymore honestly. As long as you have something to live for you can stay clean

>>733860890
there is evidence that suports that there is no such a thing as chemical addictions, it is said that if you have a fucked up life and have no support whatsoever, than you are likely to be addicted, people who live a happy life, do not have addictions (sorry for bad english)

>>733860696
godspeed, OP

>>733861336
>>733861336
My philosophy is I'm only hurting myself. In all my years of using I've never stolen, robbed or cheated anyone and supported my own habit however I can. Thankfully I've always had jobs and never had to suck dicks.

>>733861677
>has never touched downers

i always want it to get in the heroin wagon, how does it feel?

>>733860696
I know this is possibly one of the hardest things to kick but ffs kick this shit. Heroine is fucking disgusting.

>>733861822
Have you tried smoking pot and jacking off? I'm high right now.

>>733861574

meth comedown is fucking awful. like the mental illness aspect really blossoms when you've been up for days and get depressed and suicidal out of nowhere.

opiate addiction is awful but the mental anguish is nowhere near as bad as that of a stim addict. IME being addicted to both.

>>733861328
I don't think I'm dumb really. I wouldn't say I'm the smartest guy in the world but I've made some very, very dumb decisions. So I understand your judgement and do not take offense.

>>733861761
That's fucking retarded. Of course chemical addiction is real.

Decide to stop shooting up OP or your chances of a decent life plummet drastically

Control yourself and you control the world around you.

>>733862034
OP here. I can imagine. It's why I NEVER touch uppers. They're great for a few hours then the hell begins. Shit I'm a heroin addict and I can't even handle adderall.

>>733861908
Like being surrounded in a warm blanket on christmas morning surrounded by everyone you ever loved.

The first time.

>>733861574
Aftercare seems like the most important part imo. And benzos/opiates are probably the worst drugs to be dependent on, moderation is key with everything but it's easier said than done. Hope you stay clean, relapses don't mean you're a failure, they're just setbacks. Also meth is overrated as fuck, I got a free 8ball and I've only smoked a couple shards in the last few weeks. It's almost similar to adderall or dex but feels way more toxic. I've noticed that it makes my blood pressure insanely high and my heart beat goes crazy, to the point where I can hear it if I take too much. Other than that it's more psychologically addictive than anything, but it's easy for me to stay off it because it's shit imo. I've only smoked it off foil and railed it though, I'm sure IV use would be more intense. Comedown isn't all that bad for the dose I was using, just mild anxiety and shakiness. Xanax is a lifesaver for that shit.

>>733862235
Never stayed up for days on end on crystal though, but I can imagine that would make for a miserable comedown

>>733860696
i did 8 years clean and fucked up last year, move on and start again

>>733862235

shitty meth bro. good meth feels clean like dexedrine.

>>733861289
About 6 months. My relapse started when I was cleaning my apartment and found a 30 mg oxy. I stared at that thing for days deliberating, and finally just crushed and snorted it

>>733862387
That's exactly what I said. The amount I smoked was almost identical to the effects of Dexedrine except for the insane heart rate and blood pressure. I'm not a fan of amphetamines but if I weren't using them right now I wouldn't bother typing out all this shit

>>733862398
Never understood why people snort those.

It's a fucking pill. Just parachute it.

>>733860696
I know someone who has used puddle water and mountain dew in a pinch. Fucking low lifes. Kys

>>733862235
Yeah I've done outpatient and aftercare. I really tried. But that oxy fucking appeared on my carpet while I was vacuuming, wish I hadn't seen it and had just vacuumed it up. It was a weak moment. The shame and guilt set me on andownward spiral

>>733860696
Your kids miss their mom

>>733862530
I like the burn and drip. And immediate onset. I know oral bioavailability is higher but it's a habit.

>>733862733
Fuck it dude, it's one pill. As long as you don't keep seeking it out you're fine. Relapses happen but it doesn't mean you need to become dependent again.

>>733861574
>>733862235
Tell me about benzos pls. I've never understood that one. I tried it for flights, and it does help me sleep. But as a drug, I don't really feel anything. It's so mild. I once took 7 or 8 pills, just fucked up my drunk so much I was a puddle on the floor. Almost died.

How did I get 7 or 8 pills? My ex-wife. We were in Thailand and she found a pharamacy that sold them OTC by the pill. She bought a shitload. Her sleeping pills. She'd always been taking them.

We flew home (another asian country we were living it at the time). She risked 2-5yrs for possession, 2-5yrs for consumption, and 2-5yr for trafficing if someone had open her tynol jar at either customs. (As her husband, I was also taking the risk, but didn't know it - you know, they were nothing, her sleeping pills).

In retrospect, she had a major benzo attiction. She popped those pills morning to night. Always tired, always fatigued, could not work.

We're divorced now.

>>733863082
Benzos are weird drugs. They're euphoric for some people (especially with anxiety) they potentiates other drugs (like opiates) very well, and if you can't sleep a couple xanax or a halcion will relax you and knock you right out.

>>733863457
Oh and yeah they are INSANELY physically addictive. To the point where withdrawal can kill you if it's bad enough. Seizures and what it.

>>733863457
ativan and lorazipan are what she always took

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>>733860696
You did quite well to be clean for a few months, OP. Take it easy on yourself, relax and enjoy it, but don't give up on quitting just cause of this. You will probably relapse multiple times, its just a matter of persistence. You should be proud of yourself for making it this long, it was an accomplishment. Just remember to keep pushing forward, don't fall back into old habits, and even if you do, keep it at the back of your mind that you wanna quit. The only true failure is giving up entirely. Good luck.

I know the feeling did some tonight too after a very good streak. Did a line of meth too i know im gonna hate myself so much tomorrow when im more than likely buying more.

You're gonna be a dumbass and think because youre doing that bullshit again your months of sobriety wasnt an actual ACCOMPLISHMENT, but it was. remember that, do whatever your sad ass has to do with heroin get over it like a man and jump back on the horse god damnit

>>733863457
Man, antipsychotics actually work pretty well as sedatives. Never tried haldol but I got loxapine in the ER and it knocked me the fuck out. Too bad I had an allergic reaction otherwise I'd use it again

>>733863781
It's fun to smoke off foil tbh but meth is shit tier compared to pharms

>>733863657
Lorazepam is the generic form of Ativan. It's especially bad if alcohol is mixed with them because it causes a synergistic effect. It makes whatever dose of whatever benzo you've taken twice as strong, and however much you've drank twice as strong. Ativan is one benzo doctors feel safest prescribing for some reason but it can fuck your life up lik any other benzo.

>>733860696
What's your gender?

>>733863668
>>733863799
Thanks guys. Gonna come clean to my psych next time I see her about this recurring problem. I appreciate the tough love.

>>733864075
Male.

>>733863896
I take a small dose of seroquel at night with my halcion (which is a benzo btw)

>>733860696
Ive used off and on for about 7 years. I have ayear clean now and I plan on picking up a bundle or 2 in a few weeks. For most people it dosent seem to work but for me just taking breaks and never letting it get too out of hand seems to work fine in my life, and without it id have tons of stress I work from 530AM until 10 at night usually between work, furthering education, and investing. Its really a mental game that most people just cant play. I still think it should be legal though, it would mitigate pretty much all the risk.

>>733863781
I feel your pain. It hurts so much to stop. Just knowing you can't have that feeling ever again.

>>733863990
>>733863542
For me the fucked up part was that she was my wife and I didn't know she was a major addict. Her mother was a nurse and she always told me her mom gave them to her (until thailand, then I figured that out).

The country we lived in she had also found a pharmacy, but thailand was cheaper, so she took that risk.

That night, 7 pills, it took me almost a week to get my shit back together. Insane anxiety for days, like a fog. I thought I had permantly fucked up my head.

>>733864288
Plenty of countries now HAVE heroin clinics they can go to twice a day for a fix.

damn that sucks man, i'm just about to hit myself with my last little bit. Let me see if I can get a timestamp for you lads.

>>733864515
Yeah huge amounts of benzos aren't anything to play with man.

>>733860696
Hour w many dicks have you sucked for a hit? Do you hoe your ass?

how long til you make it back to a meeting?

>>733864225
Halcyon is a benzo? What's the generic name for it? I've never heard of it. I thought you meant haloperidol.

>>733864225
Seroquel actually works really well for sleep, and increasing appetite. I wish I had some still, it'd be ideal for use with stims combined with benzos.

>>733860696
I will never be addicted person, because it is boring.
You have the same pleasure every time, it is stupid.
How mathematics explains our world - that is really cool and extremely deep activity.

>>733864343
What ROA and dose did you use? I've had more fun on LSD and ketamine compared to meth, honestly I'd place it below adderall but I've never been a heavy abuser of it.

>>733860696
I am exactly in the same situation as you. Cheers dude. People want to cure us. We just live this way, that's all. Make sure you don't OD. Make sure that sometimes, you endure the withdrawals and stay clean for a while just to experiment true feelings from time to time. You aren't wrong dude. You probably already do all this anyway but I don't give a fuck gg

>>733860696
What state are u from? I heard floridas pretty bad with relapse

>>733860987
Fuck off nigger get a job

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i pity you all. such a waste of life. i really hope you all one day feel a life with out those cravings. i couldn't imagine.. Makes me grateful for the shitty life i have now.

>>733862069
says the addict

good luck gents.. see ys on the other side

>>733860696
hello michael.

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>>733861245
Well said. You deserve a fedora tip.

>>733866357
You too, see you on the other side anon

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You druggies need some shrooms to get your life on track

This may be irrelevant, but have any of you guys tried a large dose of psychedelics to possibly overcome whatever it is your facing? I was a huge alcoholic for awhile and after a few intense trips I learned what was wrong with my life and how to overcome it all.

>>733865346
Triazolam

>>733865532
I usually use a half gram a day when I can afford it and I IV.

>>733865857
LOL Florida.

>>733867678
Is that commonly prescribed? Or one of those rare benzos they use in the hospital only like midazolam. Curious to know if it's an anxiolytic or hypnotic type like temaze

>>733867917
Or just one of those meds the nurses use when the patient won't shut up. Couldn't be bothered to research shit right now, sorry :^)

>>733867917
It's very rarely prescribed. It was given to me because of my chronic insomnia, and my doc literally tried every sleeping med out there and none worked. It's a last resort sort of thing. They don't like to prescribe it because of its strength addictive properties. Honest to god though I respect it and take it as prescribed.

>>733867917
Also Jeffrey Dahmer used halcion to slip in his victims drinks to knock them unconscious.

>>733867917
And yes, sorry for answering you 3 times I'm pretty high lol. It is very hypnotic.

>>733868096
Good to hear, heavy benzos are crazy. I wish I had a script for temazepam, but I'd probably fuck my tolerance up and not be able to take xanax anymore

>>733861677
You've never been high a day in your fucking life.

>>733868176
That's great, so I'm assuming you think everyone who likes sedatives is a serial killer or rapist like Jeffrey Dahmer?
>what is insomnia
Your point wasn't even relevant >>733868250
No worries I'm posting one shitpost after another myself. I'm currently on ridiculous amounts of benzos

>>733868420
And z drugs fuck yeah
All to counteract the stims

>>733868262
Shit fuck the xanax. I'd take temaz any day.

>>733868420
Nah I take it myself. I just thought it was interesting, that's all. I have nothing against my triazolam. I adore it

>>733868540
Eh, temazepams more of a knockout drug for when it's impossible to sleep. I doubt it's good for anything else but it could have recreational value. Xanax is my favorite

>>733869015
Second favorite is Ativan. Dissolved under the tongue and 15 mins later fried/sedated

>>733860696
Stop doing hard addictive drugs motherfucker! I have 2 brothers, one older and one younger and they are both heroin addicts. I would probably be happier if I never saw them again. You better not be harassing your family for shit that you can take care of yourself, such as food, shelter etc. Why do you feel the need to do such a shitty quality drug that is at most 20% product and 80% dangerous filler. That's one thing I could never wrap my head around. It may cost a little more, but you have the choice to do clean, cut free opiates yet you still prefer to shoot worthless toxins into your body. I smoke marijuana myself, do the occasional acid or smrooms, done DMT once, but marijuana is the only addictive drug out of the ones I just listed. Why do you prefer to do such a shit drug that you know from little kids age that it will ruin your life? If you haven't hit rock bottom yet, YOU WILL, and believe me you'll really wish you had just stopped now. Get out while you still can faggot, before your veins start to collapse and you shooting up between toes and eyeballs and shit.

>>733867791
Go to bed danny

>>733860696
Try kratom

Meth really is psychologically addictive. Fuck. Just smoked another tiny ass shard just to wake myself up a bit even though I was trying to sleep tonight. After this I'm not touching it again for at least a week.

>>733870658
I'll probably sleep anyways cause the ridiculous amount of Xanax and z drugs but still

>>733862034
Yeah, Ive tried meth a couple a times and I didnt do enough to stay up for days until the last time I did way to much in a short span and immediately came down on the 2 day and it was fucking horrible, I went crazy and thought I was going to get killed and was being spied on because people were acting weird and it was only because I was overamped

>>733860696
welcome back, sobriety is for quitters

what else you do?

>>733870982
OP's abandoned thread apparently

>>733870982
>>733871205
Have not abandoned, walked next door to cvs to grab a Gatorade. Just opiates and benzos. I drink a bit too. But nothing else.

>>733866327

>Its not just dopamine or opiates. Its just your mind bro

Thanks Tony Robbins.

>>733870724
Yeah that's when xanax really shines my friend. Should knock your comedown right out.

>>733871475
If you don't intend on killing yourself that's a fuck up waiting to happen. I like them all though so I can't blame you

>>733870173
I love kratom! When I got sober the first time it really worked to get me off opiates but my habit wasn't as bad as it is now. Maybe it would still work. I'm sure some UEI would have an effect if I could turkey for a day or two.

>>733871573
Real shit, I just smoked more now though

>>733871623
I understand the dangerous synergy between the two. If I mix them, I wait for awhile after taking a shot and then pop maybe a mg or 1/2mg of xanax. I don't pop bars like skittles after I've been doing dope.