got a opossum in my dishwarsher. there's no animal free

Run the dishwasher, post results

>>733466725
this

Run it

Grab him. Put some gloves on if you want. Opossum aren't very dangerous and don't carry rabies. He might nip and claw you but you can get him outside easy enough.

Turn it on

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>>733466653

Fucking run that shit

>>733466778
Looks like a young one too. Probably only recently left the mother.

Don't be a pussy or a sadist. Get the strongest thickest glove you have grab the bastard and throw him out your window. Then call 911 and ask for someone to check you for diseases afterwards.

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>>733466653

>>733466653
close the door
turn it on.

Don't run it OP...

>>733466653
Ok anon, I live out in the country and see these little bastard everywhere

You have to have some balls for this, but since you're on the cheap you dont really have a choice

Scare the living shit out of it. Make as shit ton of noise, spray it with hot water poke it with a stick, ect, ect, all at the same time. This will make it instinctively play dead.

Then just grape it by the back of the neck, like you would with a cat. Dont worry about being bitten, while they play deadthey litterally cant move. They also dont carry rabies like people tend to think, so you're safe.

You're lucky it was a racoon tho lele

Goodluck Anon

Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.

But seriously just open the fucking door and bang on the counter, he'll either run out the door or play dead. If he plays dead, grab him with gloves or a towel.

>>733466943
It's a opossum

>>733466778

Any mammal can carry rabies, though less likely in these guys, due to a slightly lower body temp.

Don't risk it anon, he climbed in the death box, beggin to shuffle the mortal coil.

Run that shit!

>>733466943
First actual response ITT

>>733466653
Get a thick towel and cover the possum with it. Wrap the animal in the towel and go throw it somewhere else.

Also, you could cook it, some people say they taste good.

>>733467025
only 1 spelling error addressed
2/10

>>733466653
What you need is:
-A pipe, long enough to reach the fucker and keep your hands out of striking distance
-a length of rope ~3x as long as the pipe, that will fit through the pipe twice

feed both ends of the rope through the pipe in the same direction, leaving a loop hanging out one end and the ends hanging out the other.

Hold the pipe by the end with the rope ends, carefully guide the loop at the other end around the opossum's body.

Pull on the rope ends to draw the loop tight against the pipe around the possum's neck (ideally). keep it tight enough to hold him but take care not to break his neck (or don't, idgaf).

Then drag the fucker out and chuck him outside.

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Play a Ariana Grande CD, it will run away afraid of getting blown up

It's a baby possum. You really don't have to worry about disease or bites with him. Grab him in a towel and toss him outside.

Gas it
make a video

I live in a rural area. I see these all the time. I have to kill them all the time too.

Its really easy to kill small mammals. Don't be such a fucking pussy.

Get a long pointy thing, shove that bitch into its skin. Boom, dead and kebab'd for easy carry.

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It's so cute. Keep as pet. Get little collar. Give name. Teach it tricks. Coolest faggot on the block. Name him if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep (no immunity) OwO

>>733466725
/thread

>>733467488

>>733467712
>>733467488
kill yourselves

Feed it trash and keep it as a tiny guardian.

How the fuck did it get in your dishwasher

How the fuck has no one asked this yet

Just leave the area for a few hours. When it feels safe, it will come out on its own.

Seriously tho.
Timestamp or gtfo

If this is real you need to prove it

>>733467025
>a opossum
Kek
AN opossum

>>733467222
points for creativity

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Op you flaming faggot post a fucking timestamp

>>733467488
dubbs checked

>>733468125
>>733467222

Fuck creativity, he's automatically correct cuz trips

>>733467222
fucking SMART


SMRT

DONT NEED DIPLOMA NO MORE

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https://www.lowes.com/pd/Havahart-2-Door-Animal-Trap/1084937?cm_mmc=SCE_PLA-_-LawnGarden-_-OutdoorPesticide-_-1084937:Havahart&CAWELAID=&kpid=1084937&CAGPSPN=pla&store_code=1538&k_clickID=3df84e45-5cc8-4d69-97c9-8467665132b0&gclid=COaWq9fLhdQCFV2BswodXO0Ljg

op needs to fucking deliver

Turn him into chop sssssuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeyyyyyyy

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note the hole in the wall, which was duct-taped, then eaten through.

stick your dick in the dishwasher with it and run the shit

>>733468430
need some proof

put dick on possums face

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>>733468430
>>733468155

Op is a faaaaggoooot

I am all for running the dishwasher. Op may not be faggot if he keeps us updated. Interested.

>>733468467
This. For science.

Only way to PROVE it.

>>733466653
Slow down there turbo... that mother fucker right there is your friend!

He eats the weird nasty creepy crawlies that you don't want around

Don't kill it, it's an allie.

Just leave a door open, the dishwasher door open, and let you little buddy go.

OP don't be a faggot. Run the fucking dishwasher

How many of your home repairs involve duct tape? How often are you thwarted by unholy rats of the night?

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bump for potential

>>733468659
This 2bh

Sort your shit out OP

>>733467985
Using an and a does not depend on the spelling of the word it comes before, it depends on the pronunciation of the word. In most cases though, an is used before words that begin with vowels

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>>733466653

If I can get an angry reindeer out of my house then you can get a tiny little rodent out of your dishwasher.. Put on some gloves, grab that fucker and toss his ass out.

>>733468959
>angry reindeer out of my house
Da fuck?

Also, just so you know. Bill died for your sins. Jerkin off on Chaturbate... he died, then his penis.

Just a moment of silence for uncle Bill

Dicks out for uncle Bill Bill Bill oh no Bill

Dicks out for that glorious bastard.

DOFB

#DOFB

https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=811_1495498793

RUN THE DISHWASHER AND POST RESULTS!!!!

Let it go op they kill insects like roaches and shit. Dont listen to the inbred idiots here.

>>733468999
Came home from work, reindeer had busted through my living room porch window/door.
Just standing in there angry as fuck.
Opened the door, pushed him out.
>just life in Swedish Lapland

>>733466653
possums are hard as fuck to kill. you can shoot it, stab it and crucify it, and it's still gonna be growling and hissing at you (sadly i know this from experience), your best bet is gonna be blocking off the kitchen so it doesn't go somewhere else, and leave the window open in hopes it leaves.

>>733469101
yo, I was friends with a group of Fins for a while. Most hardcore motherfuckers.

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>>733469189
Finns are special, luckily I'm 50% Finn.

>>733466725
just this, fucking do it

>>733467803
Underrated post

>>733466653
use a broom or something to usher it into an empty garbage can. if push comes to shove, grab it by the tail and throw him against the wall as hard as you fucking can, i mean, really go to town on him.

This has been going on for too long to be real. OP has let us down again.

>>733469403
Op never posted a timestamp with the marsupial. It's fake as fuck

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>>733466653
Isn't it fucking obvious, OP? Just run the dishwasher.

Tonight, op was a huuuuge faggot

op here, inb4404.
finally found a perfect sized pole. cut up some old window blind string, gonna attempt to wrangle it.

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>>733470899
forgot photo.

>>733470899
timestamp or gtfo

>>733470938
nvm >>733470946

>>733470899
Document that shit, nigga!

>>733470946
>>733470991
you bet.
will get a shot, if the potassium doesnt go crazy when i open it up.

Archive for potentially cap-worthy thread

https://thebarchive.com/b/thread/733466653

>>733470899
>>733470938
Faggot.
>>733466725

Op is a slow poster but... this could be golden. Don't let it die.

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filler to bump the thread

I got one out of a bait shop once with a broom and a cardboard box.

Just chase it in, close the flappers and take it outside.

>>733466653
Run it... for about 2 minutes.. check on him, tell him he's a good boy. Then run it again for a minute, Do this until he goes to sleep, it's the only way.

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posting Jimmy Neutron stuff for some reason

>>733466653

Make a trap box

Rise again, op. You are doing the Lord's work by making a makeshift noose for an opossum randomly. Keep us updated.

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>>733471677

More

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>>733466876
I haven't laughed so hard that I started crying in a long time.

Thank you.

Pleas have this, it's the funniest thing on my computer.

>>733471761
Leave faggots out of this.

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op here,
well i got it. maybe not the way you guys wanted, but i got it.

thinking i'll drive it somewhere before everyone wakes up and drop it off.
or, quads tells me how i should get rid of it.

>>733471774
sorry, I'm out of Jimmy Neutron stuff

>>733471918
DROWN IT IN THE BATH TUB!

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>>733471918
HOLY FUCKING SHIT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>733471918
cut it's limbs off then burn it alive

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>>733471918

Still no timestamp OP

>>733471929

You disappoint me

>>733471946
rolling for this

>>733471992
You've got style.

>>733471918
train it and then keep it as a pet.

>>733471918
See
>>733467735

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>>733471992

>>733467803
Because it was opened, window in the kitchen was opened too, mistery solved, gtfo

>>733471918
Put it back in the dishwasher and turn it on.

>>733472093
rerolling

>>733472023
reroll

>>733472093

>>733472042
No, fuck that and fuck you. This isn't fucking how to train your possum, it's I caught a wild creature now how can I inflict the most pain before it dies. Go back to watching interracial cuck porn, Fuckin norm.

>>733472020
Seriously. You caught it, so a pic in front of thecage with a timestamp and you've made this a pretty Damn amusing thread OP

however...HOW THE FUCK DID IT GET IN YOUR DISHWASHER FAGGOT?

I feel I have quads. Figure out how to start stabbing it in the cage.

>>733472093
Genius.

Let it into someones house who you fucking hate

Stab it in cage. Quads get.

>>733472093
This.

>>733467111
>>733467222
Is no-one going to address the back to back trips?

>>733472093
Please?

>>733472093
roll

>>733472180
Get

>>733467488
Cu

release it

>>733472093
Pretty please?

>>733472180
roll

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>>733472093

Fucking this already

Timestamp this time

>>733472222
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>733472222
Nigger!

>>733472143
It's going to take fucking forever....

>>733472222
Noooooo! Fucking quads... show pics at least. Fuck!

>>733472222
OP HERE,
YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND.

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>>733472128
you're not op.

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>>733472222
You fucking cunt. I hope you die in a car crash tomorrow.

Fuck

You

>>733471918
Oven at 150. Give it a long, slow roast.

>>733472302
You're right, but I will tell you to get fucked.

>>733472222
Fag

>>733466653
Quads demands, up pooper!

Op kept delivaring. Terrible quads fail. I feel the opossum got the get.

i saved an opossum today, feelsgood

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ophere,
here's the requested timestamp, for official purposes only.

he was a trooper the whole way through, even while i essentially choked him with a cord. obedient opossum will be his name. dubs renames him.

>>733472222
perfect response... must piss off these psychopathic losers opting for animal cruelty

>>733472222
I wrote this. I meant that you "release it" back into the house... mix it up a bit more.

>>733472728
Name it "I should have drowned in a dishwasher".

>>733472728
looks like he shit in the cage. also name it "wasted quads" if this post is dubs

Professor Bernard Niggerlips The Opossum III

>>733472800
oh shit

>>733472728
That possums piiiiisssssed

You should try petting him

>>733472728

4CHAN SPACE PROGRAM

>>733472749
you didnt friend, i meant release it into the wild and let it live a happy life

>>733467724
>you like animals i don't, so you should kill yourself

good god you're fucking cringey

throw it out the window

>>733472835
>>733472800
OP please

>>733472800
Wasted Quads it is, says dubs

>>733472922
Dubs don't lie.

Pet him, calm him down

you said quads decides so quads fucking decides ,rolling for puttting him in dishwasher and turning on

rerolling >>733473381

>>733473018
Don't tell me what I wrote to op and pur friend wasted quads. It is to be immediately released... wherever that might be.

>>733473407
one more time

>>733472350
and i will tell you to grow up.
no need to be rude just cause mommy beats you and daddy uses you as a cum sponge.

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I don't know why but all this was very satisfying. Have a nice day anon

>>733466725
Came here to say this!

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kek seems to have taken a liking to Wasted Quads

op here again,
in case anyone was wondering, heres the breakdown of the story:

>do some late night programming
>hear clank from other room
>have no pets
>wife is asleep, can hear her snoring
>"did i lock the door?"
>remember that the clank was from a specifically unique cooking pan
>know exactly where you put that pan last
>build 3d mental image of kitchen, envisioning perpetrator location
>use phone to mirror around corner
>see nothing
>further investigate
>find pan
>tap
>confirmed sound
>...but what hit it?
>look around kitchen smore
>nada
>confirm other pans sound dissimilar
>confirmed
>see tippy-top shelf door open slightly, about 3 inches
>its directly above dishwasher
>"oh, its probably just a mouse, i got this"
>discover small duct-taped hole in wall that's been chewed through
>recall that you're renting
>previous owners were like 95 years old
>recall its one of the oldest houses in the county
>not surprised
>anyways, look around some more
>gotta be here somewhere
>step down off dishwasher lid
>look under cabinet overhand for signs/clues
>corner of eye catches something
>looking upward into dishwasher,
>realizing there was a possum watching crotch-area from a couple of inches away
>"well that was close."
>post on /b/ for answers on whatdo.
>eof

>>733473769
you forgot to mention that you are a pussy and won't turn it on

>>733473769
>eof

NOT eof. turn that fucking dishwasher on now you goddamn code monkey

>>733473769
And now wasted quads is part of your family. The crazy nocturnal uncle.

>>733473769
Life is a dream

>>733473835
its on now, actually. i intend to wash it 4-5 times with various cleaning chemicals, just to really sanitize the poo residue.

Do you have any weirdo friends that will fuck it and let you video that shit?

Close the door partially so it cannot run away. Get a flashlight. Turn off the lights in the room. It's ok if it's not nighttime where you are. Approach the situation room by yelling and whooping, growling, and stomping your feet hard and fast but traveling slowly. This will allow the tiny brained mammal to Fully realise something big is coming for them. Flash the light back and forth in the animals face as you continue making noise as you open the door. Yell at it and spit on it, thunk the dishwasher door with the flashlight.

Sensory overstimulation will put the little autist into no response mode, you can then remove the little fucktard by the scruff. This works with possums or subhuman autists alike. Nobody needs a smelly animal in their dishwasher or classroom that utilizes urine to keep parasites off its naked tail.

This is Sparta. Place the creature back in the wilderness, or if you dislike animals AND your neighbor- his house, garden, garage, bed.

Approach your neighbor with a veterinary stun rifle. Wait in the blind until he arrives home late in th dark and exits his vehicle. Try to remain in the blind until the amesthesthwtic or wtf Anesthetic takes full effect. Remove his stupid facial hair on one side, his scalp hair on the other. Install a petID into his left calf muscle and jab a freshly sharpened pencil into the other. Allow him to wake inside his home, safely tucked in bed, dressed in new Pajamas custom made for an adult size using Dora the Explorer fabric.

Get some of the boys around and chuck it on the spit g, peel him back

>>733473769
>do some late night programming
>some
>late night

dont lie. all your programming is late night

>>733471918
Now u must rape it to show your dominance over it!

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>>733474323
MOAR

>>733474323
do you have more with vivisection and burning alive?

>>733474323
Yesssss

Don't kill it like a pussy, they are good for the environment and relatively harmless, all bark no bite as they say. Get some gloves and manhandle the bitch into a box or trashbag, once you got your hands on it it's likely to play dead... I get the out of our trash from time to time.

>>733474323
>>733474515
Anymore like these?

this is slowly becoming a get thread

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>>733474699

Late as fuck retard

Kill yourself

>>733467985
The o is silent, so a opossum is correct.

Possums can't carry the rabies virus, FYI. So you're good there.

Get a big towel or thick gloves and take him outside.

Dont hurt him...they're good for everything.

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>>733466653
Run dishwasher dispose of in trash after

>>733474323
Post your IP address fagot

>>733477313
127.0.0.1
you're too much of a pussy to try anything, anyway

>>733467488
88