oldfags give youngfags advice based on past mistakes and experiences

>>733407374
don't fuck your mom

>>733407493
>hey bro i fucked our mom bro
>why bro
>so we get another bro, bro
>nice bro

>>733407374
Don't make videos of yourself having a threesome with two 17 year olds and post it on the internet...

>>733407736
Holy shit what?
Greentext?

Dont wait more than 30 minutes for a drug deal

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>>733407374
>actual oldfag here
leave this board, right now, just shut off your computer, go outside, get a job, and never come back here.

best advice youll ever get

>>733407374
>experiences
>oldfags
rofllimao
>I've been sitting on my ass for 12 years

>>733407374
Don't fuck your friend's gf, more so if she's the unstable type to get attached and have remorse and want to confess everything

dont fuck redheads, they have no soul

>>733407374

Don't move in with friends you want to keep.

>>733408045
my mom always said gingers are bad.

Don't ever stop working hard. Effort is only relative to what you're used to.

If you don't do much, minor tasks are going to take a lot of effort.
If you constantly work hard, minor tasks are going to feel negligible.

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>>733408045
but i WANNA!

>>733407790
>be me
>18 years old dating 17 year old 8/10 qt3.14
>she's bi
>wants to fuck friend from school
>asks how to make it happen
>call girl over
>ask for threesome
>secretly record it
>break up 6 months later
>post video online
>knockknock.jpg
>arrested for 2 counts sexual exploitation of a minor
>10 years registered sex offender list

Just don't do it.

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>>733407610

>>733408280
thanks fam

>>733408146

some of the best advice ever given

>>733408280
lol what state do you live in that 17 isnt the legal age of consent?

>>733407374
When it comes to girls, you need a lot of practice. The better looking you are the less you have to work for it, but it requires skills that you can only learn by trying, as different things works for different people. Just try, make a fool of yourself, then try again.

>>733408146

Fair wisdom there, anon.

>>733407374

Pulling out is only going to give you trouble. Get yourself a girl that uses proper birth control or get used to the rubber

>>733407863
What doing here then ?

>>733407863

Why haven't you done so, op?

my best advice?
leave /b/ behind and find a board that fits your interests.
i do /tv/ and /sp/

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>>733408604
i cant learn from my own fucking mistakes thats what im doing here.

>>733408606
>>733408699
im not op

>>733408280
Reasonswhymanditoryminimumsaredumb.jpg

>>733407374
1) Do NOT get married until you are 35 or older - you can still marry a hot 20 year old when you're 40, as long as you have money. If you marry before then, you will reduce your chances considerably of having money at 40.

2) Do NOT get anyone pregnant until you are married and have discussed it. Bitches get pregnant as a way to trap a dude. This has been true since the first monkey climbed out of the tree and saw some other monkey living in a nice cave with wainscotting and hot water.

3) That said, Fuck Everything That Moves until you are 35 and ready to marry. Get it out of your system. Learn how to love and leave. For gods sake, learn how to fuck a woman until she is blind. You will be very popular well into your 50's as a result.

4) Invest your money. Don't waste all of it on shit like PS4 games and Speaker Systems. Try not to waste too much of it on bitches - buy shit that holds value, like Property. Put some money in the Stock Market and forget about it. Let it grow. You're not Gordon Gecko, buy Blue Chips and let them soak.

5) Try to limit how long you pine over a dead relationship to no more than 2 weeks at most. Sit in your house, mope about, complain to your friends for no more than 14 days, then GTFO and go dancing.

6) Stay in shape. A little bit of exercise goes a long way, and you need your stamina for all the fucking you'll be doing.

7) Choose Adventure. Go to the Louvre one Summer. Go climb a mountain in Brazil. Do the Mardi Gras - build up interesting stories and experiences that will make you a more well rounded person. Don't wait "until next year". Do it now.

Last: Enjoy this fucked up thing called Life. You only got one, the best we know, so LIVE IT.

That's my Old-Fag advice. You're welcome.

>>733407863
Pretty much this.

>>733409796
good advice, but most of your last points rely on money and im pretty sure 75% of people on here dont have jobs and the ones that do probably arent on this thread.

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>Get your driver's license ASAP

>Finish High School

>Don't go to college

>If you sell drugs, make sure you're good at it

>Don't get married and avoid having kids at all costs, women literally are only good for fucking now since marrying them will garner you no benefits or priviledges.

>Develop a skill or trade

>Don't be coerced into the talk of being rich and successful, as long as you have enough money to survive, you're fine

>Don't be a materialist. Life is a lot better when you own as little as possible. Unlimited freedom sans worrying about movers and timeframes.

>Lose your virginity in high school because it's only going to get harder every year it doesn't happen.

>Learn to enjoy time by yourself because those people that can't function without being around people are hopeless.

>Get a vehicle big enough that you could live out of it if you fall on hard times. It should be able to fit at least a twin sized bed, a week's worth of food and water, and warmth. A truck with an 8-foot hull or a van would be perfect.

>Don't follow the law when you know you can get away with it

>>733408383
Age of consent in Colorado is 15... However, video taping it is illegal, and posting it on the internet is illegal.

>>733410086
AOC laws are fucking dumb and this country has no fucking idea how to regulate the internet, not that they should.

>>733409702
Exactly.

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>>733407374
>routine is good
>avoid debt like the plague
>if in debt look up 0% interest balance transfers
>let hatred go it only weakens you
>any work is better than no work
>nothing lasts for ever, find joy in the smallest things
>don't look for someone else to solve your problems gf or otherwise
>You're a man fucking act like it

>>733410470
This is nice advice, simple, easy and clear. Wise as fuck.

>>733410470
>0% balance transfers
fucking this, don't be a dumbass with your money

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>Keep up on your documents - don't let them expire. You don't want to be driving around without an up-to-date driver's license/ insurance, etc.

>Keep your living space at least somewhat clean. You don't have to go in-depth scrubbing everything but you'll only put yourself into a spiral of depression by keeping your home disgusting.

>Don't drive like an asshole. Slow down a bit, let people in in front of you, don't cut people off, be patient and don't constantly switch lanes to get somewhere faster. At the end of the day you're only going to go as fast as traffic is going while making everyone on the road think you're an asshole and not let you in when you need it. You'll also cause yourself unnecessary stress.

>>733410612
No fucker taught me about the 0% balance transfers if you don't use them you're fucking paying for the privelage of debt it's horse shit

>>733410012
Retarded as fuck

>>733407374
fuck every girl you get a chance with but use a condom even if she says shes one the pill

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>>733410012

>>733407374
>Don't work hard, instead work smart

any girl advice?
How do i make a move?
How do i make sure she knows i want to do something sexual?
I'm pretty sure she's into me but how to i go further?

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>>733411057
>Ask her to the cinema/dinner/bar what ever the fuck.
>role with it, meet her 1 on 1 you will know soon enough if she's down for the dick
>Seriously. Fucking ask her out to one of the above. The world isn't going to come to an end if she says no.
>might be awkward for a few days if you're in school with her or work but fuck it
>stop being a fucking pussio and ask
>You never ask. You never get.
>The pain of rejection is nothing compared to the pain of not asking
>fucking ask if she's says no fuck her move on ask someone else

>>733411394
Yeah it's in school, i met her only twice and she seemed really into me, while we were talking in a group she was looking at me 24/7, interested in me, always looks at me but i don't know how to enagage lmao

Don't make decisions when you're pissed off and don't promise things to people when you're happy.

Play stupid games, win stupid shit.

Pee, then flush, then poo. No one enjoys pee splashback.

When someone is a dick to you and completely in the wrong CALMLY explain why they're wrong call them an asshole, and then walk away. Especially if it's your boss at work. This does not work if you come back to them hours later, it has to be right then and there.

Always put in a 2 weeks notice when quitting a job, always show up on that last day even if it's one you hate.

Physical violence seems like a good idea at the time and then the other person (seen as a pussy) presses charges, takes your money, and then you get punished by the legal system and it's not worth it. Especially over a girl. You lost in every situation.

Don't fuck just because you're horny, hookup culture gives people a nice spread of STD's.

The road less traveled by usually isn't worth traveling, sorry Robert Frost.

The only people who hate capitalism are people who have zero ambitions towards not dying poor. If someone is anti-money, then be anti-them. You are who you hang out with.

>>733411535
just talk to her, ask her about herself
people like to talk about themselves

Don't date a girl you aren't absolutely sure will take her birth control. Neurotic, responsible bitches make good gfs. Also avoid IUD's. They're uncomfortable af.

>>733411960
>always put in a 2 weeks notice
this so much
finding a job is hard as fuck without references

Wear protection, don't drink and drive. Make your own decisions and try shit. Don't do hard drugs twice in the same month. Eat healthy and drink water.

>>733412122
>>733411394
more girl advice boys these are good

>>733407374
When even blue collar workers are talking about bitcoin now, you know you fucked up.

Need an advice.

My GF has a daughter..10 years old. I love her very much, the problem is, the love for my GF fades away...but I don't wanna lose her daughter cause I love her sooo much. Did I mentioned that I love this lil Girl soooo much! Would Adopt her immediately

>>733407374
I like these threads.

>don't piss off telemarketers

I've never been rude to them, cause you know, it's a fucking Job and they don't want to call you as much as you don't want to call them.

But if you are an asshole to them like my parents are, they will get some guy in IT to spam call you 24/7 in order to ruin your life.

Play out the enemy, not the card.

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>>733412799
First question.

Do you need to take a seat over there?

girl advice for 20yo virgins?
i didn't even kiss yet...

>>733413324
>>don't piss off telemarketers
Angry telemarketerfag.

Your profession is illegitimate and if you fuck with me I'll just sue your company. It would be better to suck dick for a living, because attempting to scam old people into buying shit they don't need is more shameful.

>>733413401
Fire away anon!

>>733413598
bumping this

>>733408451
Thanks fam

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>>733413598
Ho boy.

Tell me what I'm working with here anon.

How far have you gone before?
Are you a NEET NOOT FAGGOT?
You live with your parents?
Can you talk to Women?

>>733411960
Choice.

>pee then flush then poo

solid analogy

>>733413668
I'm not even sure how to respond to this.

But yeah that's generally what you would say if you wanna get called non stop.

>>733413812
I can talk, i make them laugh, i have no problem socializing, it's about taking it one step further that's the problem, i don't touch them sexually or anything, i can keep eye contact for hours it's not a big deal.

Not a neet i'm studying and working, living with parents tho yes.

>>733413673
Alright first, again.

Do I need to get Chris handson over here?

Second,
Why/how are you becoming distant with your gf?

>>733412799
She aint your kid man. If not for the mother you'd have no relation to her.

Think about having your own kids if it doesn't work out with the mother.

Always be polite and respectful. You must give to recive.

>>733413957
>But yeah that's generally what you would say if you wanna get called non stop.

Nah. I mean, that happens, and every time it does I sue.

DNC list is serious business and the state is perfectly willing to fuck telemarketers for me to the tune of $1000 an incident.

If you have a dream job that isn't practical, you can't waste time. If you truly want that job, you need to work at it FULL TIME.

>>733414074
>mother

Nah Man I'm not a fucking pedo, I love her cause she makes my life brighter and she loves me too....know her for over 2 years now.

It hurts...but U R right Bro, she aint my kid nothing can't change that fact

>>733413979
>taking it the next step further

Two things for this.

A- be straight up honest with them. If you hit it off, don't hesitate to ask them out for a dinner or a movie, etc. When asking her Keep the date times about a week apart so she can choose which ones she's more comfertable with. (Eg; do you want to have dinner maybe this Friday or next?)

B- when your hitting off a conversation, get a little physical and see what happens. Bump a shoulder, tap and arm or a hand, etc. Find an excuse. Then see how she reacts. If she recoils, tenses up, etc means she isn't interested. If she is fine with it, it tends to mean you can get more physical or step things up in a date or convo. If you get little to no response, do it AT MAXIMUM 2-3 times. And then wait and see if she reciprocated by touching you back.

Beyond this I'm slightly concerned with
>eye contact for hours
Don't stare. Maintain eye contact, but don't be a creep and stare. Just chill like your talking to someone normal. 80% on her, 20% somewhere else if you need like a number. And if you think/know she's interested in you, let her catch you looking at her clevage. But just a glance and just 1-2 MAXIMUM. It helps move along things and makes your intern ions clear, while also flattering her. Just don't be a creep and stare.

>not a NEET
Never be a NEET. Always have something going on in your life. Good.

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>>733414263
>state.

>Mfw canadafag

>>733408146
Dead mothafucking accurate! Many internets to you sir and may nubile labia drape your penor.

>>733408280
Pics or it didn't happen.

>>733411394
This.

I am happily engaged and to be married soon, wonderful life, but I have eternal regrets about chicks I never asked out in highschool or university, but I have no regrets about the couple of girls that I did ask out and got rejected

>>733414937
I talk to them freely, make jokes, occasionally fist bump or high five when i find out about common hobbies / interests, they never tense up, always ok.

I mean i can keep eye contact, i don't stare i look to the right/ left depends, no problem with talking to girls, it's the one step forward that "blocks" me.

>>733414679
I know dude. Never said you were.

Kids can be light up the day, I know. Easy to get attached to. But practically, you got no reason to be in her life if the mom isn't in it or she allows it.

It's better I say it now than the mother or some other guy later. Think about starting a fam, you prob. ready for your own kid.

>>733412799
You are infatuated. Fuck the little shit to get the pedo out of your system.

>>733408056
I'd say don't live with them too long. I roomed with my best friend for 1 year and it's probably the best year of my life. Communication is key.

>>733408056
sadly a bit to late for me :(

Get out while you still can. This place was never good.

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To all you college age morherfuckers.

Get a god.DAMNED.

CROCKPOT.

Or "slow cooker" for you amerifats out there.

You don't want to fucking cook cause your a lazy shit who has too much studying to do. And instead of pigging out to shitty meals you can buy low cut quality meat, which may or may not be questionable and turn it into GAWD DAMN GOURMET.

Get one of those fucking timed ones, throw your fucking meat in there, possibly after beating it, throw in your sauces, your spices, your veggies and your fruits and when you come home after a hard days work

FUCKING ZIP ZAP

The whole house smells of DELICIOUSNESS. And when you crack open that motherfucker,

It's all ready to fucking eat.

Motherfucker that meal will last the whole week.

THE FUCKING WEEK.

Or about half a week for you amerifats

BITCH I MAKE CHILI UP IN THERE FOR THE WEEK.

and when it comes time to clean,meyou just take out the dumbass pot, mmmmmmmmmm easy cleaning boy.

Don't be a fucking dumbass.

Crock
Yo
Pot

>side note if you have a girl over, she will think your a cooking legend.

>>733413598
Chill man, everything will come :)

>>733415423
Friendzoned.

It's about the vibe you give off. My friend had a bunch of girl friends, always got friendzoned. I never had the problem. For some reason if a chic was spending time with me, it's likely she is getting fucked or I move on.

They can smell that shit almost. Work on getting that non-verbal, physical/instinctual part down.

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>>733415423
So what's the step forward in your mind?
What's the hurdle that blocks you? Why don't you think you can get to the next level?

The best way to enjoy /b/ is to stop trying to change it or expecting anything from it, and just take and leave what you may.

You think she's the last fucking beer in the stadium. You're drowning in a shot glass full of water. Get out, work on your game. Take nobody seriously and make yourself legend. Also take shit from nobody.

>>733415423
don't fist bump or high five with them these are friend things to do if you I'd even at all

>>733415423
Fist bump? what the shit? That fist better be going up the cooter youngfag.
I dont get what your achievement is? you can talk to them like a fucking human being?
Dont take all that shit seriously, you gotta work at it like everything else. Get some game, develop some skills.
Talking to girls at school without throwing up is not an achievement son.

>>733417109
So what do man?

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>>733416338
100% fucking this.

Everyone comes into /b/ expecting only the highlights. They fucking browse R/4Chan, or see all the greentexts on imgur, watch vidoes on the glorious raids that /b/ has done, etc. then they come in here expecting the best of the best, the worlds most magnificent board, the funniest, scariest, most degernate type of board.

And instead they get /b/.

And they are underwhelmed and upset and all they want to do is change it. They want it to be like what they expected, so they bitch and moan and cry, until they either fuck off back to where they came, or they settle in the filth like the rest of us.

/b/ (and as a rule 4chan in general) is just a sea of trash. That's all it is. But sometimes, in that giant mound of garbage, you'll find a nice gem. That's what it is.

And if you want to change /b/, make your own threads.

Fucking daily most enjoyable Beserk thread guy makes his own threads and it makes /b/ better. Alice comes around every once in a while and she makes it better.

So just nut up or shut up and enjoy the ride.

>>733409796
Solid advice. Thank you, anon. Maybe I'll be able to make something out of myself one day. I just need to learn to stop smoking half my paycheck away.

>>733417229
Depends. If you're in school and want a girl, just ask her out to a movie, take her some place to eat after. (You can also try to get other friends to go together, but that is always unpredictable and inadvisable unless last resort.)

Get some alone time. While walking back, maybe try and put an arm around first, she how she responds, try for a kiss. I don't know kid, that's how you develop your game. Everyone works differently but you gotta keep trying.

>>733408146
Nailed it. Wish I could say this to my gf

>>733415977
FUCKING ZIP ZAP

>>733417926
>always be honest with your spouse
stop being a faggot

Going into college, second time around.

I've been working mostly but going back in I'm afraid I can't keep up with the work. I try and sit myself down to do work and after 10-15 minutes I get this horrible feeling everywhere.

Any tips?

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>>733418504
break every task into small parts
then do a lot of them

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oldfags pls help.

i am 22 and have a hard time filling this void that i constantly feel. i have a job and almost finished my degree, but i can't shake the feeling of depression. i feel little to no self confidence, although i can easily fake it. i don't want to always have to fake it though. do i need to go out more? find a girlfriend? or just man the fuck up

>>733407374
>25
>useless undergrad degree
>130 IQ
>unemployed
>no desire to live

wat do


I feel like if i got a job that was intellectually stimulating id be fine, but i dont how to get anything other than shitty service industry jobs

>>733418938
Literally in the same situation. Planning to go back to college and enlist in the army as an officer... if I don't fail the exam, only 4 people are accepted each year.

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Traps aren't gay.

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>>733418714
>depression
You either have to get over that yourself or see a therapist Mate.

>self confidence
Easy. Look at your accomplishments. Look at everything you've done. It's hard to do that, harder than you would think.

Beyond that, can you speak proper English? Do you know how to put your thoughts and feelings into words? Can you keep a calm and rational head through bad times? Can you use simple logic, common sense and problem solving skills?

If so, congratulations your better than most around you.

Self confidence comes from within. Learn to find yours.

>>733418938
>useless degree

What degree Anon?

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>>733407374
>Nobody likes work and all jobs suck ass. Drop these ideas of being something admirable or great. Instead try and seek balance between what you like and what you're good at. That's your ideal job.

>Never get stuck with the times. Everything but few aspects of life changes over time. It doesn't matter what we're talking about. Politics, music, fashion, trends, etc. It's all momentary horseshit. If you're forced to get into something like this then don't go beyond the call of duty. I can assure you that 10 years later nobody gives a flying fuck.

>While it's not worth it to strive towards a better social standing, it's pros cannot be denied. Try and get into social circles where you're appreciated, where you're not risking anything and where age is not a factor.

>Women are whores but when you broaden your world view it becomes apparent that everyone's a selfish asshole. Accept it as a fact but don't let it hinder your forward movement. Get the money, get the girl, get the kids and get a golden retriever. Owning a home is optional.

>Avoid more or less literially buying your way into a relationship. Life is not a dating game. Especially with romances, the actions which influence other people the most are the ones which expectations you're need to exceed. If you buy your way into friendship or romance you'll be buying things until you're dead.

>Educate yourself on important base knowledge. You don't need to be jack of all trades nor master of one trade but it's good to keep yourself busy.

>Don't give extistential crisis a chance to settle. Keep yourself busy. Change your hobby every year.

>Doing drugs might be, like, a super weird experience which, like, changes your world view. uhhh yeah that's pretty much it, man. But at the end of the day it's horseshit and it fucks with you pretty bad. Drugs are for losers and it only takes 10 years or less to separate the wheat from the chaff.

>Don't be an asshole. Don't deal drugs.

>>733419273
>Traps aren't gay.

This is what denial looks like.

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Don't become Tyler Durden.

Don't go on /pol/ if you want to live a happy life

>>733419273
honestly it is.
but does not matter. if you like it and its legal. just do it.
dont give a shit what ppl say/think about it.

>>733418714
Head out fag. Travel. get some miles on your soul. You're young, this is the time to find yourself and gain that confidence.

Prob. aint gonna be easy to just find any girl before you fix your own shit. Get a handle on your own emotions first.

Involving yourself with other people and getting out of your own head also helps.

>>733418938
Learn a trade. See if you like doing something.

Getting the sort of intellectually fulfilling job aint easy. Unless you are super lucky, you gotta start at the bottom and work yourself up over years. Thought of career change? or getting another degree?

>>733407863
Job interview tomorrow

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Don't kill yourself. Just isn't worth. Even if your parents hate you. Even if you have no friends. Even if you're depressed or whatever. Just don't do it.

>>733408146
Tru dat dough

>>733419406
linguistics
>>733419913
ive worked as a brewer for a while, not exactly a trade but close, honestly i dont see myself doing that long term and not being supremely unhappy. I think another degree is a viable option... i appreciate the response

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Get a job as soon as you can. Doesn't matter if it's a shitty job. You'll learn more during your first year working than you will in all of your years in highschool and college.

Also, never regret fucking someone and don't hang around with people who make fun of you for getting laid. Doesn't matter if she was fat, ugly or had a dick.

>>733422121
Post sauce!

>>733408383
It's 18 in most states when it comes to recording and shit. Get a nude of a 16 year old in a state where you can Fuck one that age. Boom child pornography charges.

>>733422474

Another thing I forgot to add, learn how to reverse search and find your own sauce.

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>>733407374
It doesn't matter how you feel about her -- don't marry her. It's just a bad, bad bargain.

>>733407847

Best advice in here.

Meth dealers are more reliable than Coke dealers

>>733408280
>>10 years registered sex offender list
bullshit. you must have had the shittiest lawyer in the world.

NEVER PUT YOUR DICK IN CRAZY.

>>733408280
oh wait lol missed this part:

>secretly record it
>post video online

guess you got what you deserved on that one lol.

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gonna turn my life around guise

>>733408451
>Just try, make a fool of yourself, then try again.
This is true about everything, everywhere, and is the best bit of advice out there.

>>733410012
Welfare nigger spotted

>>733422536
You are right!
Teach me!

>>733408056

This guy knows...

>>733410780
>>Don't drive like an asshole.
this one. odds of you dying on the highway are pretty decent compared to other things in your life. being courteous, paying a bit more attention - will only cost you a few minutes, but greatly reduces the odds of you bleeding out or burn to death in a car wreck while a bunch of people stand horrified in the background recording it on their phones.

>>733407847
>implying I'm not strung out

>>733412568
Faggot

learn to love yourself, and fix what you don't like. Even with friends, and lovers, and kids - in many ways you go through life alone.

If you don't have a way to improve yourself, all you have left is rationalization and denial. Those won't serve you well long term.

Drugs don't really solve anything - they just put off having to deal with your problems.

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self improvement is maturbation
self destruction is the answer

>>733413598

getting laid is simple :
>Don't be fat

If you are fat eat less. Working oput is secondary. Its mostly about food intake

>Go out. Ask girls out. Get rejected. A lot.

It's only by asking and getting rejected that you will learn. Maga/whatever do not prepare you at all for the real life seduction game.
Tinder/Other dating apps are trash for virgins. You will have to compete and demark yourself from paying, much better at selling their images than you fucboi that do volume fishing. Go out to bars or other activities that the girl you like would enjoy. (Cooking classes, languages, whatever).
Its much easier to get rejected by people you dont know. When im single I court on average 5 women a week (going out to bar/parties/activities). I sleep on average with two different girl a month plus a regular that is not often in town. That is with asking 20 women out PER MONTH. Barely a 10% success rate and im rather cute, funny and now how to flirt. Expect at best 5% when you are beginning. If you havent asked out 20 chick at least yet its your fault for being a virgin.
Also : Dont ask out two chicks that knows each other. It wont work and you will be viwed as creepy.

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>>733424327
masturbation*

>>733408146
It took me one month to get use to do minor tasks like take the bus to go to college. Now I can even study, instead of gaming.

Thank you

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>>733419536
Become Tyler Durden.

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>>733424581
DO IT FAGGOT

>>733409796
Thank you.

>>733411394
Adding to this.

Lower your standards. Learn how to fuck a 5 and keep her quiet about it. The less attractive a girl is the more she's going to be desperate for any attention.

That means you can tell her you just want to use her as a fuck bag, will do so repeatedly if she shuts her mouth, will deny everything if she tries to tell anyone, and will end it immediately if she breathes the word "Boyfriend" in your presence.

The goal isn't go fuck someone who you can brag about. The goal is to get it over, lose the V card, and create some momentum.

Dark rooms and abusive sex make unattractive women useful.

>>733415423
kek ded

>>733407374
For highschoolers and younger specifically: Talk to girls, all the girls you can. About anything. You will get a social reset between high school and adulthood so use HS to make a fuck ton of mistakes. If you're too scared it won't be any easier when you're in college and still scared.

For anyone: If your little sister starts asking you what you'd think of her if you weren't related and starts talking about how sometimes it's normal for siblings to kiss on the lips, for the love of god ask her to try kissing. Especially if your little sister has like C cups at 15 fuck.

>>733409796
>be me
>start dating qt when I'm 16
>still together 4 years later
>She's grade A wife material
>Seriously, the kindest, most loving, overall greatest person I've ever met.
>Having trouble grappling with the fact that if I wife her I'll go through life only fucking my first.

God it sucks.

>>733425082

>promoting incest

The spirit of /b/ sills live on strong.

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>>733417686
THIS THIS THIS

>>733425216
>>Having trouble grappling with the fact that if I wife her I'll go through life only fucking my first.
you'll get over it but i wouldn't wife her at 20

>>733425216

What is preventing you from taking a side girl ?

>>733419273
Traps are gay af you faggot

>>733425082
solid advice, I didn't try so I didn't fail but I didn't succeed either

>>733418714

You are not a snowflake. Enjoy life for what it is, not what you were told it would be like.

Ocassionally step back, look around, and see how strange existence is. Just how fucking strange all of existence is. Don't ever become used to it, or numb to it.

disgusting mods trying to clean up the triforce evidence from this thread eh? i'll be sure to cap everything from now on faggots

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if you read a restaurant menu by looking at the price first, you're not making enough money, or you need to spend less.

don't pay for convenience when you don't have too. convenience costs money. (gas station snacks, mixed drink at a bar, gas stations directly off the interstate, expedited shipping, stadium food)

don't go to college
>hurr durr but i need x degree for the job i want!
unless that job is WITHIN academia or research, you dont need a degree. start doing the job for free (graphic design --> design some graphics for nobody), build a portfolio that PROVES beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can do it.

giving a fuck means you're scared of something. think long and hard about the things you give a fuck about, because they will ultimately control your life.

you will never understand other people the way you understand yourself. never.

in conversation, respond to the last thing said, not the last thing that made you want to say something in return. and don't interrupt, asshole.

figure out how to do boring things (cleaning, washing yourself, cooking) fast so you have more time for what you want to do. DON'T NEGLECT, JUST IMPROVE.

nervous to ask a girl out? take it from someone who was homeschooled, had no zero contact with the outside world from 10-16 (not even internet) that you CAN learn. smoked pot for the first time at 18, had my first drink at 18, lost my virginity at 19. get out of the house, for literally anything. church, movies, hobbies, comedy shows, plays, concerts, ANYTHING

you CAN'T learn if you never TRY.
>do it faggot

borrowing money is borrowing from your future self. don't.

dont imagine how things could be.

>>733425357
No no no no no marriage wouldnt happen until we were late 20s early 30s.
Do you really think I'll get over it?

>>733425373
Nothing. I had a minor incident with a girl last year. Guilt got to me, I told her about it, it broke her heart.

I've never felt shittier about anything in my entire life. I still remember the tearful words "am I not enough for you?".

Hurts me to this day. Never again.

>>733425216
why is that an issue

all pussies feel the same

>>733407374

> in the near past I opened this thread
> OP was a fag as suspected
> whenwillieverlearn.jpg

I hope you summer up a better choice than I make kids.

>>733425828
Just wanna experience the world a bit.

Perhaps youre right.

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>>733407374
Begin saving a minimum of 1% of your paycheck. Every paycheck. Don't ever touch it, not even for "emergencies". If you can afford to save more, do so.

I didn't. Now I have nothing to retire on and I'm gonna have to work till lunch the day of my funeral.

Learn from my fail.

>>733425828
Virgin detected

>>733425687
people get over being raped or getting their legs blown off

>>733415977
This guy speaks truth, slow cookers are fucking amazing.

>>733407374
Don't get fucking married without a prenup. 9/10 women are lazy fucks using the pussy pass to skate by life. Princess complexes.

>>733425953
>work until lunch the day of my funeral
kek
sorry man, I hope you at least have a cushy office job

In summary, life's temporary.

The only thing you can take with you in your final moments is your self respect, or self loathing.

Stay the fuck away from anything that does not give you reason to have self respect. Period.

Mistakes (not doing something you wish you would have, debt, doing stupid shit you wish you wouldn't have) are all beyond your control right after the moment they happen.

You are going to make mistakes. Deal with it. Move forward and apply the lesson. Focus on the self respect. Look backwards only long enough to understand how to better move forward. Then move forward.

It really is that simple. We just make it a fuck ton more complicated.

>>733425687
>am i not enough for you?
she has your balls with this line, taking you emotionally hostage. thats abuse.

tell her you want to fuck someone else. be honest.
if she loves YOU, ALL OF YOU, she will love that too.

doesn't mean she's gonna let you fuck someone else, but you'll find out if shes wife material.

or, you know, ignore it and cheat on her 6 years into the marriage. i'm sure the kids will love that.

>advice
don't ever let somebody censor you. even on here.

>>733426166
Nope. I deliver tires.

>>733418938
Get a trade job, despite the stereotype that shit takes a lot of intelligence...

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>>733425920

dude if youre 20 now, youll be a totally different person by 30.

so either:

1) get married right now, and prenup the shit for divorce tiem

2) wait for another 5-7 years to get married (in which time youll realize your nvr gonna get married to this chick)

Heres the rub, either way you choose, same outcome.

>>733426354
i hope you win the lottery

>>733426366
This.

I know an ASE Master Technician who makes $100K a year and has a boat longer than my house. He told me he has over 12 years of schooling under his belt so far. He's gonna retire at 55 and live on his boat in the Bahamas.

>>733426302
>emotionally hostage
I'd feel the exact same way and say something similar if I were her.

>Tell her I wanna bang someone else
Why? I'm sure she wants to fuck other dudes too.
It's just one of the sacrifices you make if you want a monogamous setup.

>Cheat on her after marriage
This is what concerns me.

>>733426327
you drive your message home
▲
▲ ▲
day after day
▲
▲ ▲
month after month
▲
▲ ▲
year after year
▲
▲ ▲
until
▲
▲ ▲
you get a decent answer

>>733419470
>Nobody likes work and all jobs suck ass.

This is not true. I'm a roofer and I love my job, in fact I cant imagine not working. I go crazy.

>Don't give extistential crisis a chance to settle. Keep yourself busy. Change your hobby every year.

Or just the one job.

>>733426433
Nah nah, marriage isnt happening anytime soon.
It's just the next progression.

Maybe we'll grow apart. Who knows?

>>733425685
>borrowing money is borrowing from your future self. don't.
Dont lend it either, people dont give it back for shit

>>733418938
Learn how to code and make something one your own. Its becomes like a resume and actual proof you can do something, also if it works well it could be your career.

>>733427177
pretty much what he said, just learn how to make something somehow that you are alright at and make a career from that shit.

Honestly?

>Give the 5-6-7 girls a chance. The worst I've ever been treated in my life was by the hottest girls. They're completely used to getting whatever they want for no reason, which makes them insane. The best sex/relationships I've ever had was with 5's and 6's who dress up to 7-8's; there's a huge bonus in that they actually might have interests/be funny/be able to talk to you about something other than gossiping about what their stupid faggot friends are doing. That and you won't literally have dudes at the bar who want to fight you because the girl you are with is so hot.

>Don't be afraid to ask for what you want sexually. I could have fucked so many more girls (settled down now) whatever ways I wanted if I had just ASKED THEM. I know this for a fact. Girls like to fuck and experiment too.

>>733427951
>The worst I've ever been treated in my life was by the hottest girls.
that's because you didn't alpha male them and treat them like shit first.

>>733427951
hot girls are always nice but maybe im just Canadian
everyone's nice

>>733428115
This

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SLICE YR FOOKIN DICK OFF M8

>>733428115

This shit doesn't work on anyone. You just end up looking like a retard.

>>733415977
>slow cooker for you amerifats
>FUCKING ZIP ZAP
>half a week for you amerifats
>BITCH I MAKE CHILI UP IN THERE FOR THE WEEK

Fucking gold. Someone screencap this and post it to /ck/

>>733427951
In all honesty i prefer 7's and 8's, i find imperfection much hotter than perfection.

>>733429109
you don't do it to woo the bitch idiot. jfc why even try explaining

>>733407374
Oldfag here ['05] mostly lurking
>posted maybe 30 times max since '05
Since then I graduated High school, graduated from a trade school, got heavy into drugs and the wrong people, and currently have a shit job @ a restaurant; i do have an interview at another job in a few days

Ask me anything I'll try to help best that I can

>>733430088
sum your life up in 5 words

>>733430392

5 words?

Do drugs, stay in school

>>733430466
okay. we'll get back to you when we know more. don't call us, we'll call you

>>733426650

don't give me fuckin excuses. if it matters to you, she should know.

for example, i think my gf is a little below my "level" of intelligence.
however, that doesn't matter to me. i think about it, but not enough to do anything about it. it mostly just means we don't talk about intricate politics/science as much as i like. not a big deal.

i used to think she treated her parents really shitty. it got to the point where i couldn't be nice to them without feeling like i was betraying her.
SO
i told her i thought she was being an asshole. she explained why she acts that way. i learned about the years of abuse, the dad cheating on the regular for years and years, the mom knowing but just wanting to keep the family together, etc etc. with that knowledge, my view changed from "shes an asshole, the parents are nice" to "these people don't get along."

if it matters, deal with it. if it doesn't, let it go.

becoming fit, smart, or well dressed wont help getting girls you like much

its how you talk and conversate.