Greentext Stories? >Be me >14 >Working with grandpa

>>733355415
OP here forgot to mention my friends now call me "Spit roast"

>>733355558
>>733355415

Your family sucks. Get a new one

>>733355682
Nah I laughed when it was over.
Like a one in a million deadeye shot.

C'mon I wanna hear stories

>>733355996
Love to help you OP, but up until now my life only got interesting in high school and few injuries happened then.

>>733355996
Noone else wants to submit anything?
Boring

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Hey i I have one from 2008 or 2009. Pic unrelated.

>be me 12
>go on internet board wanting to make friends
>find someone looking for friends
>ask for their email
>gives me it
>imadeafriend.jpg
>email them a simple "hello"
>they respond with "asl?"
> don't know what that means
>look it up
>tell them who I am and where I live
>says I look nice
>ummthanks.gif
>asks for a new picture of me
>send one
>sends me a picture of him
>no shirt
>no pants
>no underwear
>only one of those cups used for baseball
>asks if I want it removed
>pleasedont.tiff
>does it anyway
>dick Is completely hanging out in the picture
>mom walks in
>screams and asks what I'm doing
>try to explain what's going on
>doesn't care and send me to my room
>police were called
>2 weeks later the man was arrested

tl;dr I met a pedophile 9 years ago

>>733356939
I meant funny, fuck man.

>>733357061
Who cares. I've had that story on my mind for weeks now and was just looking for one of these threads to post on.

>>733355415
God bless you that's fucked man

>>733357568
The scar hurt so I though't I'd tell the story from like 8 years ago lel

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>be me
>two nights ago
>2:30 AM
>got a rumblin in the tum
>gurgle.mp4
>amble over to pantry
>one box of mac cheese
>sounds fuckin grand
>need to spice shit up a bit
>green onions and beer in fridge
>gordonramsay.exe
>boil water
>boiling takes a long time
>dump in noodles
>suddenly loose all motivation to cook and eat
>gordonramsay.exe has stopped working
>can't stop now
>substitute beer for milk because I ran out
>chop green onions
>mix together
>macaroninoises.mp4
>looks fuckin great
>still don't want to actually eat it
>eat it anyway
>it was pretty good

>>733357682
Fuckin gold I love it

>>733356492
Ok, I recall one thing that happened that you might find ever so mildly enjoyable.
>be me
>be high school freshman in catholic school
>end of gym class
>everyone is sweating up their gym uniforms
>inside gym are these three ft. brick walls
>be scrawny yet very agile whitish kid with an overbite at 5"4
>decide to jump over wall to see if I could do it
>Run up to wall
>jump and place hands on top
>by some miracle one of my elbows gets caught on my skinny ass ribcage probably because I didn't push high enough
>fall over instantly with a really loud thud
>wind knocked out of me
>wrist bruised
>everyone laughs
>wrist heals weeks later
From then on to present day, my right wrist cracks everytime I move it.

>>733357849
Thanks, I wrote it just for you

>>733358388
Toppest of keks, good sir!
>>733358417
What did you guys think of spitroast?

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Alright faggot here's the story of my first kiss.
Also my first greentext so bare with me.

>Be Me
>Be 8
>Go to a family reunion
>Staying with my Aunt
>She decides we're going to the Zoo
>Never been to a zoo b4
>fuckyeah.jpeg
>Go to zoo
>Guide gives us these crackers to feed the animals
>Having a blast
>itsthebestday.mp3
>Go to Giraffe Exibit
>There's a bridge that goes over the pen so that you can be face to face with the giraffes
>Gets as close to the giraffe as possible
>Pull out cracker to feed the giraffe
>mouth open with awe
>giraffe brings it's head over
>extends it's tounge out to get cracker
>fucking misses the cracker
>straight into my mouth
>down my throat
>Fun fact! A giraffes tounge can be 14 inches long
>mfw my first kiss was deepthoat.

>>733358615
Jesus fuck Idk which is worse, yours or mine!
>And I'm the goddamn OP ffs

>be me
>wage slave
>10/10 gf
>coworkers all smoke
>not me, that shit causes cancer
>lifeisgood.jpg
>gf breaks up with me after I told her I tried to kill myself before we started dating
>lifeisbad.jpg
>move to a new town
>lots of new opportunities
>be a wage slave again
>coworkers all smoke
>not me
>make no friends
>job sucks
>ex won't speak to me
>quit job
>get a new job
>wage slave
>coworkers all smoke
>not me
>find qt at bookstore
>schedule date
>movie and milkshakes
>get stood up
>still liked La La Land
>go get a milkshake by myself
>buy pack of Marlboros
>go to work the next day
>smoke

>>733358771
I feel like we should have seen a happy ending but knowing /b/ it's just sad isn't it?

>>733358768
Worst part is the giraffe never called back...

No greentext
>fuck that shit
Drove my car through a barn when I was turning 21, like the Dukes of fucking Hazard. Cops show up. Who's car is this? I'm sitting on a rock wall next to the wreckage. They look at me like I'm a 9-eyed nigger. "How the fuck are you not dead?" They ask. I don't know, just arrest me, dude. Can I finish my smoke? They're like, yeah, this shit is so fucked, you deserve to finish your butt. We're gonna arrest you when you're done, you know. I'm like, okay. Thanks.

>>733358890
I can't fucking breathe

>>733358563
Actually here's a funnier one.
>be me
>be high school senior
>now overbite free and average size but still scrawny
>go play in an empty baseball diamond at the municipal park with two other guys
>get the genius idea of counting strikes by standing on a metal box directly behind batter's box
>proceed to do so without stopping to consider the potential outcomes
>stand ready for the pitch
>one guy throws the ball to the other
>it's a fucking strike that hits the fence near my face
>forgeting the lack of solid ground behind me I jump back
>feel gravity pull me right back
>sunglasses fly right off my face
>as I fall my left (good) leg slams right into the edge of the metal box
>on the ground groaning
>get up limping in circles while repeating the word "shit" like no tomorrow
>walked with a limp for several weeks

>Be in grade 9
>Gym class
>Teacher was chill as fuck
>Didn't care if we went outside for a breather
>Running laps and trying to get the fastest time or some shit
>Getting sweaty as fuck
>Me and bro decide to go out
>Ask a few girls to come out with us
>Sure, Anon
>All 4 of us sitting outside on the step chilling
>Bright ass sunny day
>School was next to ocean
>Dat cool breeze tho
>Bro feels something wet drop onto him
>Wtf why is it raining on a day like this
>Looks up
>3 floors up sees a little weiner poking out of the window
>Girls lose their shit and run insid
>Some dude is pissing out the window
>Mfw the bathroom windows are a good 4 feet off the floor
>Some dude had to perfectly balance himself on the radiator to get his dick out the window far enough to piss
>Makes me lmao a bit
>Realize my bro got pissed on
>Fucking losing it this time
>Guy got caught a while later and got suspended
>I felt it was my duty to remind bro of that day for years afterwards

>>733358833
yeah

Jesus this thread blew the fuck up
>Just like my sides

>be me in public high school
>lunch time
>sperg sits in front of me while I'm sloughing down Michelle Obama approved meal
>sperg shaking visibly as he meticulously prepares a sandwich from the lunch line ham, bread, and cheese
>sperg finishes assembling his meal and seems quite accomplished with himself
>out of nowhere a soccer ball falls out of the sky and lands on sperg's tray
>one of the fucking beaners could not help wait to go outside before playing with the fucking ball
>he is now wearing his sandwich
>die from keks

>>733358937
Were you drunk omg

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>>733358615
Holy shit lmfao.
Reminds me of the time in 9th grade when our class went to the zoo
>Go to zoo for "science"
>Really just a treat to keep us interested
>Learning about animals and shit
>Get to the giraffes
>Walk up to a window where one of them is standing at
>Slutty girl walks up to the window and presses her face and tits up to the window
>Giraffe starts licking the window where her tits are pressed against it
>This proceeds for like 6 seconds before she moves away
>Teacher walks down to the other area to look at the other giraffes that are free roaming
>Turn to slutty girl
>"What would you have done if the window wasn't there"
>She responds with "I probably would have liked it"
>She fucking blushes
>Everyone looks freaked out and we all physically cringe
>Pic related

>>733359488
Checked and kekked

>>733358937
Sure

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Alright here's another.
By the Giraffe Frencher

>Be me
>be 11
>Go to lake with the family
>Out there for quite a while
>Go to an island in the lake
>Chill there for even longer
>Warningbells.mp3
>Have to piss like a racehorse in the Kentucky Derby
>Climb to top of hill
>Decides it'd be bad ass to let the flow go off down the hill
>ohhowwrongwasI.gif
>Accidentally pissed right onto a jumping cactus
>they basically launch spicy balls of fuck you toward and water source
>guess where it stuck...
>Screaming ensues
>Parents think I'm being attacked by a diamond back or something
>they find me screaming holding my dick
>they burst into laughter
>areyoufuckingkiddingme.mpeg
>Go to hospital to have dick sticker removed
I still have the scars from it...

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>>733359488
Kek

>>733355415

>14 years old
>260 pounds

Jesus fuck you fat sack of shit i hope you bought a gym memberhsip with some of that money.

>>733359935
God damn dude, that's sounds painful as fuck.

>>733359935
NOOOOO Bro I'm fucking dying
Pls I need more fuckups from your life

>>733360010
I was thinking of my adult weight lol
I was more like 180 and was 5'10'' at 14

>>733360053
Oh it was, there's still a bit of numbness there lol.

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>>733358615
>>733359488
Lewd

>>733355415
> 14 years old
> 260 lbs

It's always funnier to see a fat kid fall, don't take it personal and go lose some weight

>>733360098
Let me try to bring up some more repressed memories xD

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>>733358615
Ohhh I don't get to tell people this often haha. My first kiss was with some gook chick in the band of a band room.
But my REAL first kiss was much different story.
> Be me,~7, 2nd grade maybe.
> think this girl is cute, call her Ann. I know her because her little sister is in my class.
> At that age, I was quite fucking retarded and cringe
> So I basically just would run up to Ann and flick my fingers at her like to guns(using my point finger and thumb to form an L)
> Along with this gesture, I added a double "click" from my mouth. Something like that suave guy in a movie would do
> As a 7YO, this isn't very attractive to a 5th grader.
> But 7YO me was relentless. I did this to her at recess constantly for like two weeks.
> she confronts me one day and rather than talking like a normal person. I improvised
> I immediately lean in to do a fake, really exaggerated kiss so she'd freak out or something
> Really misjudged the situation and just kissed her like as soon as she tried to talk to me.
> I freaked the fuck out and screamed.
> Ran away and that was that.
> haven't talked to Ann since

>Have horses
>Concealed only by electric wire
>Tending to horses
>Tired as fuck and take a break
>gottatakealeak.jpg
>Walk off to the edge of the woods
>Don't see wire and start pissing right on it
>Can literally see electricity shooting up the piss
>Shocks the fuck out of my dick and balls
>Can't feel my dick for a weak and it's swollen
>Don't go to the hospital because my hick stepdad is too lazy to get off his 450 pound ass
>Dick is huge for like a week though
>Fuck slut from giraffe story
>Hyper sensitive from shock and being swollen
>Intense orgasm
>Shit was cash

>>733360248
Yo go read >>733360136
I explained it was my mistake

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>>733360311
Nice

>>733358771
Right in the feels

>>733360311
>>733360303
Oh shit I know that level of Cringe all to well.

>>5.30 in the morning, working relatively close to work
>wake up after hard drug use and little sleep over the weekend
>still very dazed and confused
>read a msg saying I fucked up someone's pay
>in my deluded state, I walk to the bathroom and start brushing my teeth
>I remember the msg, walk to my home office(which is next to my bathroom) to take a photo of taxable income
>I walk back to my bathroom to finish brushing my teeth
>I'm still barely awake
>I spat the excess toothpaste into the toilet then proceeded to rinse my toothbrush in the toilet
>I continued brushing for approximately 5 seconds before I realized what I had done.
>didn't care, didn't wash out my mouth, still haven't thrown out toothbrush
This happened this morning

>>733360518
Sent that to the wrong post xD

I need MOAR

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>>733356939
I too met one one back in the day

>be me 5th grade
>get called for an assembly in the gym
>whole school waiting on the gym floor for shit to start happening
>principal gets up and starts talking about eating healthy
>says we have a guest speaker from one of his favorite places to eat
>everyone is confused
>Jared from Subway comes out and starts talking about his weight loss shit
>brings his fatman pants
>calls me and several other kids to stand next to him to hold up his huge fucking pants
>shake his hand on the way out
>fast forward to 2015
>well shit

>>733359422
>Were you drunk omg
Very.
>>733359910
>Sure
I don't give a fuck if you believe it. Small town early '90s - thats pretty typical cop behavior if they're sure you're not gonna run away, or have a gun. I didn't run away in the five minutes before they came, it kinda speaks for itself. They get to search me, search the shredded car, have me blow the numbers machine. Etc etc etc

Whats the fucking problem? Need I remind you this is a ridiculous >Greentext stories thread?

Sorry I didn't get billy-clubbed to death enough to amuse you.

>>733361178
Damn nigga at least he didn't get ya booty.
>"I likes ya, and I wants ya."

Yeah actually
>be like 7 or some shit
>over at a family friends house for a bbq
>me, my bro and some kids there decide we're gonna climb the fence into their backyard and run around the house to do it again and repeat
>since I'm small I have trouble climbing over it
>someone has genius idea to place wooden sawhorse next to it as a step
>still a bit of a stretch to get onto the sawhorse so I decide to hang a potted plant from a rusty nail which is bent upwards
>as soon as I put my weight on the plant the chain holding it snaps
>I fall straight down and rusty nail rips ballsack open
Thankfully it missed my testicle but I still had to have 10 stitches and I've still got the scar

>be me, elementary/junior high
>get bullied
>scream, yell, get angry, make a scene every time
>get bullied more because me making a scene was entertainment
>change schools in junior high
>wind up going to same high school as most people from previous school
>most of them have chilled the fuck out at this point and leave me alone
>most, not all
>one rat-faced bastard still tries to get under my skin
>ignore him for the better part of a year, he still doesn't give up
>until one day towards the end of the year
>sitting on the bus waiting for it to leave to go home
>had a fight with a friend, in a generally shitty mood
>rat-face is a few aisles back, keeps throwing erasers and shit at me
>turn around, look at him, say "fuck off", face forward again
>pen cap goes whizzing past my ear
>stand up
>don't yell, don't scream, don't cause a scene
>just walk calmly up to him
>and pin the greasy little fucker to the window by his throat
>look him dead in the eyes and say in a calm, even voice, "I'm having a bad fucking day. Fuck off before I kill you."
>football type dude comes up, puts his hand on my shoulder
>release my grip and walk back to my seat without another word.
>rat-face is too scared to say shit to me without at least two of his butt-buddies standing behind him for the rest of high school

>>733360568
>on the sarurday night
>I had been talking to a few workers about whores and brothels we have been to
>I have a cheap local brothel that does outcall services
>>$350.P/HR
>I call up and ask for an 18 yr old slim blonde
>"we have just the girl for you, she's a Qt 3.14 that matches what you are looking for"
>time passes, I'm staring at the clock religiously...
>the bitch finally gets here
>I'm very disappointed with the results and the deceivement, she was about 35 years old and very big
>at least she was blonde....
>take her to my bathroom so she can shower first
>main reason was to call up the receiption to discuss my refund, she was relentless and told me I had to pay all of it even if I sent her on her way now
Cont..

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>>733355415

Ok.
For a period oif my life it was an episode of 'ow my balls", heres one of the worst.

>Be working on an emu farm, occasionally we'd kill a few to make into hamburgers for the tourists.
> All set, Ive got hold of the emu, this means grabbing both wings from behind and leaning down on the body of the bird like you are humping it, stops them being able to jump or run.
>Boss decides we are trying a new killing method today, normally its a club to the back of the head, today hes going to cut its throat.
nothingcouldgowrong.jpeg
> Ive got the emu and he comes in and slashes its throat.
My world explodes into a white ball of pain centered on my nutbag, the emu has scored a critical with its death kick, one emu kneecap to the nuts.
>I cant move, breathe or do anything, the dying emu is kicking my legs where Ive let it drop and bleeding all over me and i still cant move.
>An eternity later I take my first shuddering breath and fall over, Im then loaded onto the back of the trailer with the dead emu for the drive back to the farm all i can do is moan and gurgle.
> my nuts swelled up to about grapefruit size, went purpleish and then the skin flaked off, I was stuck in bed for a week.

Fuck emus.

>>733361609
Pls continue I need it

>>733361755
God dayumn m8
>Critical hit!

Again..
>no greentext

I was about seven or eight years old, and using a regular hammer in the back yard for some 8y/o bullshit. And wayyyy over there, I saw a squirrel. About 1 and 1/2 lengths of an in-ground pool (which is now the actual yard, so I know)

I throw the hammer. It sails like a fucking tomahawk. It is one of those lifetime-perfect throws, that if you could do every time, you'd be famous. It strikes the squirrel dead.

I'm dumbfucked. I approach, collect the hammer, look at the wide-eyed dead-ass squirrel, and slink away like a criminal.

>1977, 10 years old.
>My dad and a friend of his decide to take all the kids out into the woods to teach them how to shoot guns.
>We all have .22 rifles to plink targets with.
>I was following the rules, knew my target, knew what was behind it, pointed muzzle at ground even if I knew the gun was empty, Treated gun like it was always loaded, never pointed gun at anything I didn't want to keep.
>Shooting targets is fun, get really good at it and increase distance.
>Dad stops the other kids shooting because I can't go back any farther with them shooting in front of me.
>Hit a whole mag's worth of centerscores from 60yards..
>Start walking towards target, wake up in hospital.
>One of the other kids decided he wanted to shoot his gun at a tree.
>The ricochet grazed the top of my skull and I bounced my head off a rock when I fell.
>The damn scar still itches when I get nervous 40 years later.
>That kid, his dad broke three meta carpals beating his ass and went to jail.
>Kid got put in foster care and I never saw him again.

>>733361755
Have you conducted any fertility tests?

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>>733361121
Giraffe Frencher here.
I can't post anymore tonight but I can chat with you /b/ros later.
Message me on kik

>>733361609
Cont.
>go and rack some charlie and snort so.e pills my mate gave me to get your dick hard
>smashing down wildturkey straight
>bitch finally gets out of the shower, I can barely see straight if not less than a foot in front of me
>she comes out with her tits hanging out wearing this strange lingerie only covering her stomach
>can barely see anything at this point, can't even make out if she has a shaved pussy or if the black lingerie is mergingwith her cunt to make it look like she has hair growing.
>tell her I'll give her $50 extra if we don't use a franger
>I'm sure at this point my english is indecipherable, but I guess she managed to understand.
>ofcourse she wants to do a cock inspection, the amount of shit I was on, you could only imagine how shriveled my little drug infused cock was.
>she starts to play with me, I light up a cigarette to mask the smell of her putrid cunt, tell her it's because I like smoking when I shag...no cunt likes to do this
>unfortunately I was not impotent
Cont...

>>733361979
God damn is he still in jail??? You'd think back then they'd have more common sense

It's like everyone in this thread learned what greentext was three hours ago. Also, using

>My sides

wemes without there being any kek worthy stories means seither you're all not mies or /b/ has indeed softened.

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>hreeehhh
>poopeded
>en toylets
>mek bick stinker
>slepe hrptt

>>733362307
Pretty it's just OP being a faggot

>>733362307
Niggawut.exe

>>733362316
Niggawut_V2.exe

>>733362156
Oh no...

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>>733362011

Had 2 pregnancy scares so apparently my swimmers are emu proof.


Another, my brother this time.

>Go rock picking for money with my brother when not shearing, people will pay $100 fr a few tone of decorative rock.
>Go to farm, big pile of rock on the hilltop, but its a long drive round the fenceline to getto them.
>We have a name for fuckups from good ideas in my family, they are 'Phantom tricks"
>"Hey brother how about I roll the rocks down the hill slowly and when they hit the fence you put them on the truck."
> He agrees, what could go wrong.
>Roll a dozen rocks down, no problems then roll down a big slate looking one.
>It picks up speed... a lot.
>It is aiming straight at my brother he dodges left... the rock bounces left.. he dodges right.. the rock follows. I can see his though process, he tenses himself for a last minute jump to one side when it is closer.
>The rock sensing his tactic splits into 3 equal sized disk shaped pieces covering everywhere he could go, I see him slump as he resigns himself to getting snotted.
>Direct hit, knee, trip to hospital, broken Kneecap.

>But not before he spent an hour throwing rocks at me every time i went near him.

>>733362347
Stop using .(command) or .(filetype) incorrectly cunts

>>733362588
Stop being a faggot.
>you's a bitch.fuckyou

>>733362465
Sounds painful.

>>733362156
Cont
>I get it up. I have to give it to her she sucks a mean cock
>tell the whore to get on top of me, she obeys
>she is a useless root, barley capable of doing her own profession
>after 5 minutes I'm starting to lose my phat, so I decide to take over
>rack a massive line of charlie straight from the bag, fuck this is better than sex.
>put her on her side and fuck her hard, I'm disgusted with her stench and looks now that I can start to see coherently.
>I get up and walk to the kitchen to smash some more bourbon. Light up a smoke and wait for the effects to kick in.
>she comes out and asks what I am doing out here, tell her "sorry babe you are wearing me out" her response was "maybe I should take over
>she tells me to sit on the couch and proceeds to suck my cock to get me up again (she is still wearing her lingerie covering her stomach)
>I still have my bottle in my hand and a fag hanging out of my mouth.
She gets up on my and starts riding me hard.
>I've already accepted defeat, I know I'm not going to cum, I'm dumbfounded as to why I'm impotent.
>all of a sudden the mda caps hit me like a brick wall, I'm in focus again..she is still hideous for what I paid for, but fuck, I'm horny and rock hard
>I go to stick my hand under her lingerie but she slabs it away, I feel bumps all over before she did so.
>I think nothing of it..
>another brick wall of energy hits me
>I rip off her lingerie because I'm alpha like that, and what I had seen had schocked me....
>there was no skin, no skin at all just raised scars from stretch marks.
>it wasn't computing well, not well at all, I went flat that quickle I didn't know what was gping on.
>i finally understood and was that disgusted, I couldn't hold it, I chucked me guts up
>all over her face,down her body, on myself, my new leather lounge
>as you can imagine she isn't too impressed with my sex acts so she crys and winges about it whilst I'm on the ground twitching
Cont

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>>733362898
>barley

>>733362898
>I obviously made her feel like shit, but I don't care.
>I can't even feel the ground that I'm lying on in my own vomit
>what snaps me out of this state is her going to my bathroom to clean herself up,
I did not want this at all and told her she had to leave
>this kardashian succubus thinks that she has a right to.
>I call her all the putrid names I can think of, tell her exactly what I think of her appearence, she obviously doesn't like this and slaps me
>she is saying any insult that she can think of, most of it doesn't make sense
>victory at last she grabs her things and heads for the front door, (I made her park the next street over)
>at the door she tells me I'm the worst person alive and that I deserve to die and that she's going to send people around to kill me etc..etc..
>then she does something unexpected, she screams at my, she screams I'm a pig.
>with this grin from ear to ear I say, at least one piggie got the other to cum...

>>733360568

Oh god..she may have used my toilet

>>733362943
Leave me alone cunt

File: IMG-20170104-WA0041.jpg (3KB, 117x140px) Image search: [Google]

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>pic unrelated
>be me
>19
>kinda alpha but some beta was still there
>go to fast food joint
>ask for my order
>Next to me 9/10 girl
>nervous.exe
>Go sit down and start checking her out
>Her boyfriend notices
>Calls me out
>I refuse but won't believe me
at this point my beta was going to bloom
>he wants a fight outside now
>fuck.jpeg
>We go outside
>autism.exe installed
>do the helicopter move
>its extending your arms and spinning like little kids
>guy thinks im autistic and tells me he is sorry
>i go with it
>tfw i escaped a fight with autism

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>>733363472
What's wrong anon?

>>733363555
Oh fuck, enough of this pic unrelated shut when posting reaction images you fucking newfags.

>>733363555
I had this kid at school do that in year 3. I wasn't afraid to tackle or hit anyone in my grade except that Asian kid that done the helicopter. For some reason I was too afraid to charge him
We ended up becoming good friends in highschool and now he is/was big in offloading ice. Haven't seen him for 6 years now

>>733363715
>Calls someone a newfag.
>Probably is what everyone believes /b/dwellers are like
(Hint: A 450 pound fedora wearing neckbeard.)

>>733363935
450 pound fedora wearing neckbeards aren't basement dwellers.
They have leveled up to hipsters.

>>733363555
made me lol

>>733363935
>2017
>still using the term neckbeard
Do I offend you, yeah?

>>733364040
>2016
>still asking people if they are butthurt

>>733364040
Just a tad.

OP here keep it going I gtg for like an hour.

>>733364155
Go fuck yourself you tallywacking POOP widdler.

>>733364233
This
>>733364098
*Inserts insult* tips fedora then sucks some cocks

>>733364233
Dubs

>>733362465
Fucking gold.

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>>733363555
Capped

>>733366410
I capped all of this shit lel this is OP