Things you think only you do: Before eating an apple I

No, you can eat the waxy part

>>733332671
Wut, I'm allergic to the skin so I have to peel it

>>733334132
I've never met someone else who peels Apple skin, didn't know it was something to be allergic to either

>>733334405
ye no idea why, but it makes my lips swell, gums sting, and throat itch

>>733334669
I'm not allergic I just don't like it and I'd rather take the time to rid myself of it

>>733332671
When I go for a shit I try to get as many bodily fluids on the toilet paper as I can before wiping my ass. For example, blow my nose, pick a scab for blood, slag, wipe my dick for piss, try to cum before so I can wipe that on there too. No idea why I do this.

>>733335034
How is there room for the shit m8?

>>733335204
I pull of a large chunk of paper- usually 5 squares or so long

Another from op

I fap on an almost nightly basis but if I know I'm gonna be seeing a qt3.14 and I know we gonna bang then I won't the night or two before

>>733332671
When I got to piss, I pinch off the shaft until it starts to burn. Then I let it go so,the stream comes out hard and fast. I do this to avoid my piss-hole from sticking and piss going in 2 directions.

When I step on a new surface, like grass to sidewalk or hardwood to carpet, I have to start with my left foot.

>>733335034
You cum on the toilet paper and then smear it on your asshole?

>>733336054
Yep. Retarded and gay I know.

>>733336001
Any reason why?

I peel apples too.

Every time I pee I scroll my dick even minutes after, cleaning it with a toilet paper multiple times and scrolling again to be sure than ever the smallest drop of pee is out and my dick is perfectly dry.

>>733332671
when i cum in my own mouth i have to mix it with water in my mouth over and over again until it becomes pretty much water. then i spit it into the kitchen sink specifically, cant spit into any other sink.

>>733336883
Hold on wut

>>733336558
I feel imbalanced if I don't. Not like I'll fall or anything, but just that my body feels uneven.

Same thing in the car. If I have only one foot on the ground and I go over a bump, I put only my other foot down for the next bump

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>>733337162
That's weird....
But I like you anon,
Stay balanced my friend

>>733332671
I blow my nose in a towel

>>733332671
All the flavor is in the skin though.

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>>733337952

>>733337698
Is it the same towel every time or just whichever is convenient?

>>733336883
What the actual fuck is wrong with you.

I burn my fingers against hot pots when I boil water not enough to blister just a little

>>733338143
Whatever is closest at the time but then again I only own like 2 towels

I sip soy sause

>>733336001
Same but with every line on any surface. And the other difference is the foot.

>>733332671
I knew a girl who used to eat the whole apple, including the core.

I giggle at the spookys

>>733338723
aren't the seeds poisonous or something

Also, I can only jerk off in a sock or my underpants. IDK why.

>>733338932
The seeds have small amount of cyanide in them

>>733338932

Not poisonous enough to matter, but yes, apple stars and seeds contain cyanide.

>>733339023
yea, I was about to say that. Sure it might have some, but it's probably a very small amount

>>733338932
Yes small amount of cyanide

>>733336883
It's hard to mix it, cum in water turns jelly

>>733338932
I usually eat the core. Yes, the seeds have a small amount of arsenic, not enough to make you sick though.

>>733339023
>>733339066
>>733339101
We are all going to murder someone right that's why we know this

>>733338723
>>733339209
anyway, her parents were from russia. so she said that her parents/family would always eat the entire apple because they basically didn't have food in the motherland, so she always ate the whole apple

When I eat at a restaurant I have to have my back to a wall and face the door

>>733332671

After I piss I always give my gooch a squeeze to empty the tubes of piss and ensure that no piss leaks into pants.

When I try to talk to girls in a romantic way or am put in the spotlight I start to stutter, I also can't pronounce girlfriend correctly

>>733338932
You won't die for the cyanide of few seeds, but keep it in my if you ever end up in jail and decide to kill yourself

>>733339311
how do you pronounce it

>>733339066
Anyone have a cyanide from apple seeds infographic? I don't need them, but they're fun to have

>>733339290
Me to it's not weird I learns it from my dad
Let's just say he had some bad experiences with some bad people

I played with my penis once and white stuff came out. Freaked me out so bad. That was two years ago and I feel OK but for about a year I thought I was gonna die.

>>733339290
I thought I was the only sperg that did that

I check the toilet for spiders and the like before I use it, even to pee.
Lift the lid, lift the rim, flush, then I do my business. Like clockwork.
I'm not even Australian
Only recently kicked my habit of checking behind shower curtains upon entering bathrooms

>>733339376
Even when I'm sober I slur it and kinda mix the "rl" and the "fr" sounds

>>733332671
>>733334048
>>733334132
>Anonymous 05/21/17(Sun)21:52:46 No.733334132▶>>733334405
> >>733332671 (OP)
> Wut, I'm allergic to the skin so I have to peel it
>>733334405
>>733334669
>>733334844
Eating the skin of an apple triggers my IBS, so I skin mine.

>>733339520
Your a huge faggot

>>733339479
Feels good not to be the only paranoid freak

>>733339611
I literally eat girls vagina snot

>>733332671
i take ice cubes out of the tray in a zigzag order alternating from side to side. it's actually somewhat practical since that keeps the center of mass closest to the center

>>733339574
I'm also a grammar nazi and It's "you're a huge faggot"

I'll tell you something I've never done that I think everyone else has: I've never had a wet dream.

I'm constantly in a state of relationship purgatory because I don't know when its appropriate to ask a girl out

>>733339290
You must be a sleeper agent.

>>733340161
That's smart m8
Gg
>>733340224
I've never had a wet dream
I've had sex dreams but I've never busted a nut from one

>>733340371
I have actually never cum I can get erection but I can't finish and I know I should see a doctor idk why I haven't

When I'm at a restaurant where the soda is self serve I never get ice

>>733340562
Same here.
Fuck ice

>>733335920
Am I really the only one? FML

>>733340548
>I have actually never cum
Do you mean cum from a sex dream or cum at anytime?

>>733340657
I think so m8, that sounds painful and I don't know about anyone else but I've never had a problem with my uertha sticking to itself

>>733340769
Cum ever at all

>>733340892

That's not medically possible...how old are you?

>>733340855
Shit. Anyway check 'em.

>>733340892
You're gonna fucking die

>>733340892
Can you orgasm and just nothing comes out or nothing at all m8

>>733338932

I heard this shit so i ate the core including seeds and chewed the shit out of them. You can literally feel the poison in your body and it makes you feel a tiny bit sick but nowhere near as bad as getting a cold or something.

>>733341039
Over 17 under 100 you take the context and make a educated guess
>>733341096
I don't care

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>>733341082
Ayyy

>>733341096
His plums must be rasins

>>733341096
Why can't this be me

>>733339290
Yep, do this too in order to see who is coming and going. People who do or have carried firearms or other weapons will usually do this situational awareness shit.

>>733341168
I get shaky

What really is a orgasm is you can't cum is there a proper definition?

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>>733341387
>orgasm
>ejaculate
You can have an orgasm but not ejaculate, but most males the have them both simultaneously.

>>733332671
i like to wear headphones listening to music and walk around daydreaming... if its at night or im home alone when its raining, i just pace back in forth or walk in a circle.

>>733341387
Like when I first started fapping when I was a wee lad I'd beat my dick like it stole my lunch money and I'd orgasm but nothing would come out, it would just feel good

>>733341599
I get shaky when I touch myself and light headed but it just stays like that and if anything it's anoying rather then feeling good like haveing to go pee really bad but you can't pee

>>733341791
Sounds like you're trying too hard

>>733341791
or maybe you need to keep going until you ejaculate.

>>733341745
It don't even feel good
>>733341871
Explain how I could be the one male that can't figure it out because "I'm trying to hard"? Not mad just confused

>>733332671
I use my teeth to make music inside my head. I use a combination of chattering for percussion, grinding for a bass line, and rapid sliding for a sort of glissando to entertain myself, often finding myself doing it when I'm not paying attention or when I'm bored. Favourite tooth music: the original theme to Battlestar Galactica.

>>733332671
I eat nuggets with ketchup

>>733342006
Dude what I can't sit there 6 hours man

>>733342104
Same

>>733342018
Same shit happens to me sometimes, if you concentrate on it too much you're just gonna loose it, happens to me when I'm trying to please a woman sometimes if she's especially hard to get off

>>733342093
Been doing this since elementary school m8

>>733342093
I do drums with my teeth, but you're like a one-man-band with your mouth.

I peel the skin off grapes before eating them, just cause

>>733342362
I do sometimes but not all the time

>>733342093
Im sure a ton of people do this. I drum with my teeth constantly.

>>733342362
I peel the skin of my dick just before sucking

>>733342528
2edgy4me

>>733342640
I peel of the skin of my adversaries just before killing them

>>733342266
Ok I'm mulling over this how???
Like should I hypnotize myself?

>>733342778
Don't we all?

>>733343018
Best thing to do is to wait till you pop a boner, don't make yourself hard just let it happen on its own then find a nice video to watch while you beat that shit, lotion or lube helps and if it's within your budget id suggest a fleshlight

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>>733332671
>stuff no one else does
shitposting on a shithread.

Am I really the only one?

>>733343219
I don't just get hard I have to even work for that?
How fucked am I????

>>733343455
You don't wake up with a tent?

>>733343455
Maybe you're just a faggot.
Try anal.

>>733343537
No
>>733343556
I'm not a fag my dad would murder me if I was with a man

>>733343455
This might be worth a try to be honest, I'll wear a plug every once in a while
>>733343556

After I shit, after I wipe, I use my fingers to dig around just inside my asshole to make sure I got it all.

Also, I always try to shit before I shower, so I can avoid wiping and just get in the shower and rinse it out.

I sniff my fingers every time I touch my dick or my ass for any reason.

Also, I frequently try to find an excuse to get my hand near my wife's face to make her smell it.

About 50% of my jerking off happens while my wife is sleeping and we're both in bed. I usually try to cum in her ass crack or between her thighs. Sometimes she yells at me for shaking the bed and I pretend to be asleep.

Sometimes if she's super out I'll try to rub a bit of my cum on her face/lips.

I count to four when I do literally anything, or even just a multiple of four.

>>733344235
She knows.

I count when I'm peeing, and then I drink however much water I can put in my water bottle from the water cooler in that same amount of time.

>>733332671
I post on /b/

>>733344486
Fucking sick fuck. Lurk more.

>>733332671
i like to take the lead out of my mechanical pencil, scratch the inside of my ears with the tip (because it feels really good) then when I push the lead out it makes a long stringy cylyndrical tube of ear wax before the lead.

>>733343989
>>733344235
How do I into wife?

>>733339494
Same here

>>733344411
Naaaaaaaaaaaah
Sometimes she notices when I cum in her ass, and yells at me. But that's rare. It's mostly just the shaking the bed thing.

>>733337162
I get a similar feeling. Like if i touch one side of my face I have to touch the other or I feel unbalanced.

>>733332671
my asshole itches every time someone says "salmonela"

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>>733344666
checked

I pee in the shower

>>733345071
Welcome new friend

>>733344730
1) find a girl you're into
2) catch her when she's emotionally vulnerable
3) manipulate her into being totally emotionally dependant on you
4) parley that into a sexual relationship
5) wait for her to bed you to marry her
6) live a life where you basically get away with anything.

I'm an ass to her, I talked her into letting me fuck her best friend while she watched, I got caught cheating on her later with same friend, I do almost nothing around the house (never do dishes, laundry, and very rarely cook), etc. She tells me she loves me several times a day, does just about anything I tell her, and has never been able to leave me.

>>733335780
Me except I won't fap for 5 days.

>>733345224
Beg* you to marry her

I sit with my finger in my foreskin. It's comfortable.

Like, I'll pull it all the way back, put the tip of my finger against the head, then slide the foreskin back up over top of my finger.

And then I'll just sit there, holding it like that. Sometimes I'll tug on it.

When I go to turn off the lights in my living room, (I have a dimmer and it clicks when you slide it all the way to the bottom), I slide it to right where it is about to click and leave it like that or else I will feel uncomfortable. I have a little yellow Cubebot puzzle guy with his feet hanging off the edge of my nightstand and I try to prevent it from taking any damage because I feel like it has a voodoo effect on me. I always have to have a water bottle on my nightstand or else I can't sleep. On a certain pair of shoes, I tie it all the way to the top and on another, I have to have to tie it 1 hole away from the top. Sometimes I unlock and lock my front door when I go near it. My living room has wooden flooring and my kitchen has tile so when I go from kitchen to living room, I have to step on a certain tile and step onto the wood with my right foot. When I flush the toilet I have to spit into the sink before the toilet flushes completely. Also when I was younger I would wash my hands if I touched something I thought was dirty, like a seat on a car or a table.

>>733345224
While that sounds nice id rather not manipulate her and be a dick, I want someone who will love me cause I can't even love myself

Before I go to sleep, I set an alarm on my phone then check 5 times to be sure I set it to the correct time.

>>733343755
Same, minus the shower part, i will literally wipe my ass raw.

>>733345806
Despite what it may sound like, we very much love each other and are quite happy.

We just recently had our 8 use anniversary. Bought our first home together last year. Now we're getting a puppy. Having a kid in the next few years.

>>733345974
Congratulations m8, ya dun gud. I should probably just an hero huh

>>733345961
Ugh, me too. And then it ends up itchy and sore. Then I end up scratching the inside of my asshole. Sometimes my nails are too sharp, so I just like... Stick my finger in up to the first knuckle, then wiggle my finger back and forth vigorously. Relieves the itch like you wouldn't believe, without ending up all raw and sometimes bleeding.

>>733346110
Nah, it'll come, man, just don't be weird about it. You're probably like 22 or some shit, and act like a sperg. I've been there. Just be chill, show a little confidence, make her laugh. It's really not that hard.

you mentally ill fags are ruining a good thread go somewhere else.

>>733346378
So close, I'm 21, but like all I got going for me is that I have a cool car that's not even that cool. That's pretty much all I wanna do and talk about at this point in my life it just gets super fucking lonely at night, ya know?

>>733346643
Excuse me but this is my thread and all are welcome

I eat toasted bread that has butter, sugar and cinnamon on it it's like French toast

when i'm in the shower and the water suddenly gets a bit colder, i imagine that i'm going to appear in the ocean at night time surrounded by sharks, and it freaks me out so much sometimes that i have to just get out of the shower even with shampoo still on my hair.