Weird thing that happened at your job >Someone donates this

>>733099112
Have no job
Do housework
Alcoholic aunt got turned on
Sucked my dick
Now I don't complain about yard work anymore

Cringy, no upvotes here friend

>>733099112
>Traffic accident
>Survived, but walking awfully
>No chicks
>No job
>Depressed
>No money
>Trying to convince myself it'll get better, cause "this is just part of life".

>>733100825 (You)
Wow, sharing this actually makes me feel slightly better

>>733099112
I have the same helmet, the rivets on the inside hurt bad.

i used to sell helmets like that one...

i used to wear them and ride handtrucks at work screami´n costumers and coworkers looked at me and all...
i was the store manager... but only for a short while.

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>>733099112
My mom got my dad this helmet 6 years ago.

>>733102113
>>733099112
where are you from?

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>>733102752
California, Los Angeles

>>733102803
oh thought the helmets where only in europe.
The helmets are made in india

>be a slacker
>work at a ghetto grocery shop
>decide to come in high one day
>had to stock some shit in a aisle
>see some middle aged chink man sitting on the floor crying
>sigh not today
>go to the other aisle to stock some shit there
>hear crying trying not to laugh my fucken ass off
>lol'd anyway
>look over at the otherside of the aisle
>crying chink man giving me a death stare
>lost my shit right there and then
>never seen him ever again or even that day

>work with a bunch of wetbacks
>always outwork them.
> "Hurr dey work harder dan Americans" meme destroyed
>tell them to speak English or go back to mexico
>tell them if all the decent hardworking illegals took some pride and went back to mexico, they could wipe out the cartel problem and rebuild their economy
>be real thorough in making sure they understand
>they respect me

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>>733102974
Legend be told that the helmets will be used for the retaking of Jerusalem 2.0

Be forever vigilant

>>733099112

I used to work at the Casino in Halifax, Nova Scotia. We'd have americans come in off cruise ships thinking they were still in the USA, baffled that they had to use Canadian money for shit.

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>>733099112
>>733102113
I bought this helmet, we should have awesome parties

>>733099112
>be me about a week ago
>upset stomach
>fuckingtacobell.jpg
>stomach starts to settle
>decide to take shower
>midshower feel the need to fart
>cock leg, and let it out
>biggest fucking shit ever flies out
>mash it down the drain with a bottle of shampoo

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>>733103305
can i join?

>>733103561
>>733103305
>>733099112
>>733102113

You goddamn geekass bastards.

>>733104115
sounds like someone don´t own a cool helmet!
jealous?

>>733103561
Sure. We'll find a ladies helmet for you. I guess you won't be needing a cod piece?

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>be me
>work at shitty greek restaurant
>gross and get yelled at by sweaty greek men
>anyway
>slow day
>400 pound middle aged black man waddles in
>hes got this fine ass bitch with him
>thatass.jpg
>he looks retarded
>like he might have downs
>maybe hes just fat
>he orders like 50 raw oysters
>ok
>he keeps trying to strike up conversation but I have other tables
>he ate all 50 oysters but it took him like two hours
>ice melted from the tray and it got all over the table
>go to clean it up because it looks like they're leaving
>the gorilla yells "STOP"
>he looks me dead in the eye
>"WATCH IT GO ZORB ZORB"
>trying not to laugh
>he wipes up the water with the napkins as he whispers "zorb zorb" over and over
>later as he leaves he groped my thigh
>50 dollar tip
>not even mad

pic related

looks like him

>>733104835
i already have a helmet... you dont have a helmet!
*boom* hahaha

>>733104854
That nigga reached a level of sexual arousal that we may never understand

>>733104486
>jealous?

A little, yes.

>>733105091
you must be atleast lvl 999 and a noble knight to get the helmet.

>Finished Architecture degree and became architect
>Had a stressful year and started smoking dope.
>Became complacent being a dope fiend and started going to work stoned.
>Started doing design work in the office and my boss started loving what I was doing.
>Am now the office designer and am called upon to design all the arty farty bullshit that comes in the door.
>Have to be stoned to do job right.
>Get mega pay increases as long as I keep impressing the clients with my designs.
>Noone knows Im off my face on weed all the time as I use cleareyes to make my red eyes look normal.
>I now walk around the city I live and see at least 5 high rise buildings I have designed while I was stoned as a Rastafarian.
>CHuckle my little ass off.

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Guys I'm ready

>>733105670
this dude is atleast lvl999 helmet and an axe!

>>733099112
>have job
>hate it
>wanna quit
>the end

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lvl 999

>Worked in a casino at roulette table.
>Guy comes in one night with 20 grand in chips.
>Starts playing and starts losing chips.
>nosurprisehousewinsalways.exe.
>He's down to last 2 grand and starts winning.
>An hour later, he's picking some outside bets and winning over and over.
>Neverseensuchfuckingluck.com
>When he leaves, he's probably got close to a million bucks.
>He tips me ten grand. myface.jpg and says he wants to buy my lucky ass a drink
>tell him I cant fraternise as its against casinos rules.
>leave casino 3 hours later at end of shift and guy turns up in limo. Offers me a ride home.
>End up going on week log bender where he paid for evertyhing including drink, food drugs and whores.
>He ended up giving another fifty grand.

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>>733105921
But wait! there's more!

>Working at hardware store in the garden center
>Main job is helping people carry bags of dirt to their car
>Helping an old man put some dirt in his shopping cart
>He complains about there being dirt on his dirt

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>>733106689
>He complains about there being dirt on his dirt

Shoulda told him that's not dirt, it's earth.

>mfw nobody knows what that's from

>>733100825
did you get money for the accident?

>watching camratron 9000
>shits like 1080p all day long
>see some guy looking sketchy
>probably some /b/tard
>he starts creeping up near a bridge
>people walking beneath
>watch as this nigger pulles his cock out
>he is trying to cum on people
>starts fingering his ass
>ohgod.jpg
>forced to watch in HD to collect evidence
>cops finally arrive and nearly run him over
>turns out he had been walking around flashing people

The police marked me as a victim so I randomly get calls about his trial still to this day. Forcing me to remember that I watched some /b/tard finger his butthole.

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>>733106446

Holy shit

>>733108254
>not joining him
gtfo normie

>>733105502
i take "things that never happened" for 500

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>watching camratron 9000
>like 7am
>still snow on the ground
>see some guy with shorts and pink fuzzy flip flops on
>wut.jpg
>clearly still raging from whatever drugs he took last night
>just walking around punching shit
>he walks up to my building
>tears down about 50ft of caution tape
> precedes to stuff a bunch up his ass
>pulls up his pants and starts walking again
>has a tail of caution tape hanging out of his ass while he starts to fight things again
>he sees the tail
>freaks him out
> pulls down his pants and starts to poop out the caution tape
> immediately walks out into traffic and starts punching cars
>walks out of camraton 9000's sight
>never saw him again.

>>733104854
Fucking kekd hard

>>733106446
Working with rich people as customers is bombers. A good pro tip. And lol an amazing tip too

>Working one week and noticed we were understaffed
>Looked into apparently 7 staff members were axed
>All caught stealing shit usual nothing big but one lady stole a$50.00 cake
>They were all black
>They called it Blackout

>>733106493
that a tinker pierce longsword i see there?

Man i wish i could fucking get one but theyre always out of stock whereever i look

>>733103561
>trooper helmet
kys

>>733110512
Yeah the 3rd from left is a Hanwei/Tinker Pearce, took me forever to get too, always no stock, then they get bought instantly. 4th from left is my newest one, Albion Munich, I love it so much. Makes the other ones look and feel like toys

>>733110820
Yeah thats a pretty nice collection you have there.

No green text because am on my phone and it's a pain in the ass.

>inb4 newfag cant blah blah

Be me trucker bro
Have to go through weigh station
See another trucker parked around back getting inspected.
Bro is wearing: swim fins, Goggles, snorkel, water wings and swim trunks. Cops laughing so hard he lets bro go on his way.

>>733103561
I have the same one. How the fuck do you attach the plume?

>>733099112
what's your job exactly?

>>733110901
Thanks bro

>>733111111
>those digits...

>>733111111
Can some one check this.

>>733111111
checked and witnessed

>>733111111
reported/deported

>>733111111
Wew

>>733100158
Fucking kek. Get a gf

>>733104854
Thx anon. I will from now on say zorb zorb when cleaning up spills.

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>>733111111
W E W L A D
E
W
L
A
D

more WTF than weird
>new job at tech company
>sharing office with another new guy
>somehow he gets invited to two meetings (over the phone) in the same time slot
>he has two headsets
>he calls into both meetings
>one headset for the left ear other for his right
he actually thought it was a good idea

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>be me
>still working at fucking bullshit greek place
>ok money
>be friends with nigger named tyrell
>restaurant owned by brown ppl
>dude named Chavez also works there
>fuck Chavez
>tyrell explains to me why I should hate the Mexicans working at the restaurant
>they all work in the self service section
>no one goes back there and all the Mexicans (like 7 workers) work back there
>they basically don't do shit all day
>meanwhile me and tyrell work our asses off
>after a while our beef with them is getting more extreme
>Mexican old woman is a bitch
>I don't think they realize we've been working on our Spanish
>they trash talk us all the time while we work our asses off
>devise a plan
>over the course of a couple weeks I befiend old woman
>be into drugs
>get my hands onto some pcp
>dip cig into pcp
>when I'm outside smoking wait for her to ask me for one
>she does one day
>she lights it
>she smokes it
>walk away
>like 2 minutes later I realize I fucked up
>shes being violent
>theres this cool black midget dude that frys all the food in the back
>cool as fuck
>she knocked boiling oil all over him and he got seriously hurt
>wasn't there but I was told it was crazy
>tyrells hints the blame at the mexicanos
>most of them get fired
> :)

>>733111613
kek

>>733111736
were their papers checked? if so, did they get deported?

I used to be a cabbie in Glasgow, Scotland.
Lots of weird shit happened on a daily basis.
Weirdest though is the mystery prosthetic.
Most cabs are "double shifted" one driver does 6am to 6pm a second driver then does from 6pm to 6am.
The day shift driver is responsible for cleaning the interior and checking fluids, the night driver the exterior and bulbs.
I had just finished my nightshift and was having a look for dropped items, wallets, jewellery etc and jammed under the back of the front passenger seat was a false leg, a proper medical grade appendage.

I can not recall anyone getting in my car with one leg nor anyone leaving without a limb.
No idea where the fuck it came from.
20 odd years later it still sits on the shelf above and behind the main radio controllers seat in the Taxi Owners Association office.

>>733112038
one can only hope

>>733112049
dude, post it on /x/

btw, do people lose a lot of valuables in the cabs?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagieus the wise?

>>733111111
Can I get the check please?

>>733112555
i've found video cameras, wallets(one contained over £300) earings, engagment/wedding rings, braceltes 9oz bar of hash tied to 25 x gramme bags of coke....all sorts of things.

A few girls lost their viginity in the back of my dads old black cab when i were a teenager and "borrowed" it when he was asleep

>>733112836
yessir

>>733112907
"I - I'm not a virgin! I swear!!"

>>733112907
damn you kept all that coke right?

>>733111111
W A S T E D
A
S
T
E
D

>>733111613
>same guy
>normally people get to work in the morning between 7 and 9ish
>one day he gets to work at 8'oclock
>worked by himself for a few hours and was wondering where the fuck everyone was
>he realizes it he got to work at 8pm
somehow he didn't realize the fucking sun was on the opposite end of the world when he was driving to work that "morning"

>>733113075
hell yes.
at that time i had my own cab and after working a friday and saturday i'd clean the cab inside and out on the sunday. my niece who was about 8 or 9 at the time cottoned onto the fact there was always loose change down the back of the rear seat, so she'd help every sunday.
this particular sunday she reached under the drivers seat and brought out a plastic bag "Uncle Anon, what's this" i took one look inside and told her it was grown up's stuff and i'd take care of it.

>>733112836
See
>>733111250

>>733113152
how did they even let him do it?
both not showing up at the proper hour and working at the wrong one?

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>>733111111

>>733111111
Chekt

>>733111111
OOOoooo

>>733111111
WITNESSED

unrelated but uhhhh
I'm on a random image generator atm
it gets pictures from all over the internet
think I just found some fucked up cp

>>733100275
I know this is Bait, but you faggots still piss me off

>>733113668
Get the fuck out of here you faggot. Report to FBI, not a random thread.

>>733113831
no reason to get aggressive anon, just freaked me out

>>733113668
what random image generator do you use?

>>733113426
i don't even know to be honest. he's gonna get fired soon lol

>>733099112
I am proud and jealous of you OP

>>733114279
I was on r.sine.com

>>733114407
Oh i see its just an ad for your shitty website

>Be me today
>23, new retail job orientation
>Watching training videos
>'Active shooter' one comes on
>Laugh loudly
>Start filming it on my phone
>Halfway through get asked to stop
>Finish vid holding back smiles and laughter
>Assistant manager passive-aggressively reads 'proprietary law' section of employee handbook to us all
>Class dismissed, I get asked to stay
>They tell me I need to delete the video in front of them, citing proprietary law
>Ask if they have the right to force me to delete it or only to prosecute me for sharing it (especially 3dgy because, earlier in the session, I addressed the illegality of company bag searches in front of everyone)
>They say I need to delete it
>Need job
>Say, "Ok, but hold on. There are a lot of thumbnails you can't see and I need to delete them"
>Delete dick pics and videos I send my ex
>Make them wait some more while I locate the 'Bin' folder and delete the dick content from there
>Finally show the second manager the permanent delete of the file
>Unfazed_and_smiling.jpg
>First manager, who was emotional during video and is clearly confused and upset now, asks why
>Praise the quality of the training videos and state that I recorded it so I could watch it again
>Big smile, thank them both by name, walk out with my set schedule and employee number
>They are not fucking impressed and are visibly unsettled
>Relish how two hot girls in the group are into me (clear body language and eye contact) as I stroll down the sidewalk and pick up lots of old cigarette butts for the remaining tobacco
>Happy.png

>working at McFuckos
>guy asks for four empty mcnugget packages
>we only have 3, someone has to get more
>give him 3 and forget about it because we're busy
>an hour later I have to go clean the tables
>there's baby shit on the table
>dude was changing his children's diapers on the table

and that's why you give people all of their mcnugget boxes

>>733104854
The commercial spokesperson we need

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>>733099112
What a pathetic sad little man you are, op.

>>733115568
You sound like a fag

>>733111577
Dafuq.
Got name of this bitch?

>>733117300
Why?

>>733099112
>Corrections Sergeant
>Back in 2k16 with the Golden St championship game
>hey sargeee
>nigger has a ball in his had
>Nigger literally used a sharpened battery case to cut his nuts open to go to the hospital and watch the championship ball game
>Have hospital duty next day
>same nigger
>Change tv channel to cops.

>>733117801
>what

Is that you aki?