Hey anon. Anything to get off your chest? Drop those feels here.

I guess I just think about death a lot more than I used to.

Its like highschool all over again, but worse.

Anon, I have to tell you something, because I don't know if I'll ever see you again... I... I was an orphan. I was raised in a whore house in Philadelphia. I read about Milton Hershey and his school in a porno mag or some crap the girls left by the toilet. It said some kids had a different life there. I could picture it. Dreamt of it. The idea of being wanted. Because the girl that was forced to raise me would look at me every day like she wished I would disappear. The closest I came to feeling wanted was a girl...who made me go through her John's pockets while they screwed. If I collected more than a dollar, she would buy me a Hershey bar. And I would eat it...alone...in my room with great ceremony. Feeling like a normal kid...... It said sweet on the wrapper..... It was the only sweet thing in my life.

>>733058384
Mad Men, right? Is that worth watching? I only caught bits and pieces.

>>733058644
I say it is. Really interesting show and it's cool to watch history evolve during the series. Well produced.

sounds like you are just a normal teenager

I dont feel like I have any friends, I mean I know people and we get along sometimes but I'm never the one texted first or whatevs, is this normal?

Sure, why not. I was in a "coma" since Monday night until yesterday, been dealing with a ton of shit and I fucking hate my ex girlfriend. She's an absolute fucking cunt and blocking her unfortunately isn't enough. I'd erase years from my memory if I could. Fuck you bitch.

>>733058056
usually don't do this but,
a lady who pretty much changed my life as a mentor is leaving the country.
used to love her pretty intense as she managed to mature me.
We remained friends and spoke sometimes
I don't know what it feels like, empty, sad and relieved that she's going to progress her life and career.
There's other's but she was special to me.
We recently reconnected again a lot, I dunno, sometimes I'm really happy to hear from her and sometimes I just hate how easy or invested I'm into her.

>>733058056
that a good album

>>733059011
I hope so. I'm turning 20 soon and I've felt this way on and off since freshman year. But now its just so much more amplified. Sometimes my brain just won't function right and I can't think. I'm totally calm, because I know it'll pass like everything else. But I can't control the inside, if that makes any sense. Its just really hard to do daily things when it happens.

>>733059552
I had a friend like that. We keep in touch somewhat. I hope things work out for you two.

>>733059615
One of my favorites.

This one girl led me on in high school hard. She practically had 2 boy friends and she kept telling me she would dump the other for me one day and we will spend forever together. Then everything went to shit and she turned into a guy but that's life right. Whatever I'm really happy now 4 years later and living the dream. Just wish I can find someone I could talk with that well or have that good of sex again because I'm not connecting with anyone well, not even my current girlfriend.

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my dick cant feel pleasure

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>>733058056
> Turned 35 this year
> life has been quite varied for me
> finally had some stability for a couple years and could see a psychiatrist
> asks a fuckton of questions over quiet a while
> says he is fairly certain I have a rare condition (2% or less of population)
> class 2 bi-polar
> he explains it and I research it
> on one hand glad to know there's a reason
> on the other hand the reason is I am broken

Feels bad man

>19
>live with girlfriend of two years
>shits pretty great
>lose job to PTSD
>can't stay at girlfriend's anymore
>move in with mom in tiny flat in the city
>girlfriend leaves me
>feels really bad

Recently started dating a short chick that I used to know, way back in high school. Turns out that she didn't really have much of a growth spurt in her life, and neither did I.

It's going okay, but I keep getting weird paranoid moments. It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and for her to go ballistic on me. It's happened before. Sometimes with people I'm in a relationship with, sometimes with strangers. One was a preteen girl, God only knows where she learned to do crap like that.

She's 5'3". I'm 4'8".

I keep hoping that there's a cure for shit luck. Maybe it'll be okay. But Christ, if she turns out to just be another lust-ridden sociopath, I think I might just hang myself from a freezer door.

At least I'll be able to reach it to tie the noose.

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>>733060462

You're being lied to by a person of decided authority in a moment of weakness. Resist, run and look inside yourself for answers.

>>733060688
Dude if your height is really your worst problem, and your girlfriend hasn't done anything crazy yet. Then shit seems to be pretty alright bro. You're thinking too hard. Go take her somewhere fun

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>>733058056
>lowkey really want to offmyself through the ironic joking
>failing uni
>crushing on my housemate hard despite her being in a LTR
>reaching "point of no return" virginity. I know it's a meme but it's actually crushing me
>went to a party last night but I didn't make a move on anyone
>I'm not sure if I'm bi or not but growing up I was in a homophobic environment and have a deep set thought that being a fag is wrong so I don't want to think about the fact I might be one
>what if nobody actually likes me

>>733060462
>broken
theres no such fucking thing as broken u just werent getting help and this is your time to recover brah

>>733058056
I want to kill a certain someone and I imtent to do it before I die. I want to plan it out so I dont get caught though, and im also assuming its gonna cost a lot of money one way or another. But ill do it in time

>>733060462
Dude. I'm schizo-affective. It's not a bad thing. Meds will help, but turn you fat and sadish. No meds will make you feel like yourself, but you'll have to learn to hold back everything you want to say or do. Its lonely and isolating. I'm fine though. Off my meds and cried for no reason last night. Have a significant other who is also crazy. We help eachother a lot. They like me for me. Suffer until you find someone who you can connect with and shit. Friend, gf, bf, whatever. It makes life better.

>>733058056
so there is this qt twink at work that I think I like but I'm to afraid to talk to him. also we live in a small town and I don't know if this is just a phase

>>733060565
>19
>PTSD
Sure, faggot.

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>>733060792

Oh, totally. Things are looking up.

But holy shit, I don't think you realize what I'm talking about when it comes to the height issue. That preteen I mentioned? She was thirteen. Kind of kills the sense of self-worth when you realize that this could happen at any time.

Fucked up my only chance with a girl i truly loved completely destroying me in the process spiraling me into depression and into a bad drug habit and leaving me in a state of wanting to off myself but i'm too much of a pussy to do it and whenever i try to talk with someone about it i get the same old "there's plenty of fish in the sea" or "girls are not the only thing in life you'll be fine"

>>733060789
I don't consider it a lie after doing my own research. Explains a lot.

>>733061047
Thanks for the sentiment.
But compared to standard people my empathy and depth of emotion are broken. That's not necessarily bad though. As I can be more pragmatic without being overly emotionally vested in a person or thing.
>>733061133
Meds cannot help my condition unless I am in either a depressive or manic state.
The benchmark in between is feeling very little. Then it breaks in one direction or another. Lithium is an option to stablize those swings. The psychiatrists belief is having made it this far on my own and recognizing the signs of when I am moving up or down is great self management.

Bipolar 2 isn't like bipolar 1.
When manic I don't lose control and enter a panicked state. Instead I take on greater risks and become focused on outlandish goals. As well as extremely poor impulse control. The depressive state is usually brought on by having to deal with the consequences of my actions.

I got 62 in an official IQ test... which is considered "inferior". A normal IQ is between 70-120, with 70 being really below average.

Dropped out of school, because I kept failing even when I was studying and preparing all the time. Found some minimum wage job in a glue factory.

Dropped the job, because I had lower back pain from bending too much. I still have pain and it's probably permanent.

Decided to not work anymore, because those manual jobs are worst than hell. So right now I'm just living off my savings... and when I reach zero, I'll either go homeless if the winter is not too cold, or I'll kill myself right away.

The funny thing is that my parents don't expect it... and I keep making fake smiles during our Skype calls. They'll be shocked when they'll read the news and see me in the orbituary.

I give myself maximum 25 years old before I'm gone forever from this miserable life.

I wish that 36 hour coma/blackout/accidental overdose would've been an extra 12 hours, I'd probbly be dead. I remember absolutely nothing and didn't even n le what happened until someone told me. it's nice to know that death is literal nothingness. lol

>>733061986
how do you make those skype calls?

>>733059211
Yeah, that's half of /b/

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>>733058056
>I finally got a full time spot at my job.
>My Left shoulder and neck are in consent pain do to my job.
>Have an amazing and beautiful girlfriend of 3 years
>I Live with my mother because she has PTSD and chronic joint pain and needs my help with bills. Girlfriend is in the same position with her mother.
>The house is paid off
>My uncle died in January from small cell cancer, We built computers (gaming and server) together, had high conceptual conversions, got me into firearms, and we shared interests in music.
>Have trouble enjoying music.
>Girlfriend won free tickets to Pink Floyd Tribute last Friday, "Wish You Were Here" brought me to tears.
>I'm an artist who think his art isn't good enough despite positive feedback. Sorry if this sounds pretentious.
>Chances are I have some form of depression and social anxiety.

>be me
>oneitis suddenly texts me
>wants to meet because "we have to talk"
>wow.mp3
>told her we'll have a good dinner, tab is on me
>she's ok with it
>then, during the dinner, the unexpected happens
>she tells me she will date a dude next Saturday
>and that she totally fell for him (let's name Jack that faggot)
>and that I'm the only friend she could tell it, because that Jackfag is one of my coworkers
>and she asks me how he is, how he will love her, and usual romance shit
>try to be polite
>realize it's our first and last dinner
>realize tab is on me and that money won't get me even a quick kiss on the cheek
>realize all those gifts to her were wasted
>realize I spent for her more than a rich bf, and never got anything more than a "thanks, you're always so nice"
>chauffeur her home
>told her to text me if any news
>drive back home without even a single kiss on the cheek
>tfw
>morning after, at job
>coworker tells me: hey anon, Jackfag just got fired
>shouted "hooray!", then realized it was weird, but coworker cheered up as well
>every night I fantasized about her angry face shouting "go get a job, Jackass!"
>every day waiting for a text
>yet for the first time in my life I refrained to text her
>a week later oneitis updates her fb saying she's dating
>posts a pic of her and Jackfag
>every fucking newpic show them both
>4 fucking weeks follow without a single text from her
>forgot she once was my oneitis
>tfw
>then something happened, she texted me we should meet
>told her I'll give a phone call soon, as I don't have time because of my job
>she tells me again we should meet, I replied: Jack wouldn't approve
>in a quite upset way she tells me she'd like some good pizza
>understand that Jackpoor didn't yet spend even a single penny for her
>wrote her Jackneet could take her to dinner as soon as he'll land a new job
>fulltriggeredmode.mp4
>she stops replying
>two months later she dumped him
>then asked for a dinner
>lied and replied her: sorry I'm dating a girl
>tfw

>be me
>12 yo at the time
>have a sleepover with your best mate
>playing tf 2
>suddenly, he quits tf, and open a new tab on google chrome's incognito mode.
>he puts sex.com in the link bar, and starts fapping.
>he was fapping , while I was sitting next to him , doing nothing.

>fast forward a couple of weeks

>he comes to my place after school
>we play minecraft for a while , and then some tf
>he quits tf and opens a porn website. Again.
>but this time , it goes different.
>he asks me to pull my cock out
>i refuse
>he began to yell at me that all the cool guys do that, and even threating me that if i won't fap, he will tell my crush at the time that i love her and about this weird situation.
>still refuse because i didn't give a fuck about this.
>he starts beating me up , while the video is playing in the background.
>i started crying and stroking.
>we hear my father coming out of his car from my room's window.
>we close the porn and pretend nothing ever happened.
>after a year and a half we stopped talking to each other.

It's been almost six years, and everytime i tell someone about it i'm just isolating myself from my friends for a week , and just feeling depressed and useless.
I've told a couple of my best buds about it a couple of days ago. I just feel terrible and this thread is one of the only places i can just vent and let everything go.

>>733061563
It's true anon, there are well over 3 billion girls out there right now. Hundreds, (if not more.), of which are a perfect 'true love' for you. Life is long friend. Focus on you and the betterment of yourself nd don't search for love. It will happen.

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The last three times my girl friend and I have tried to have sex I've gone soft and I feel like that's the driving force behind my pot habit.
It's happened with all 3 of my girlfriends over the past 2 years but I'm only 19.
I can hardly enjoy sex anymore as I'm either trying really hard to stay hard or trying really hard to stay relaxed (I know that's idiotic).
Even then, when we do have sex it just feels meh, I think porn has desensitised me tbh so I'm trying no fap for 2 months to try and fix it.

>>733061563
I know you want this one girl more than anything bt it wasn't meant to be for a reason. Time heals friend, it could be worse always remember that.

>>733061228
Nothing wrong with that. You should do it anyways

>>733058056
>tfw the boy i love is only 13

>>733058056
>be me
>be 14
>have qt 3.14 crush
>we talked since 8th grade
>asks her out
>gets rejected

I'm 24. No girlfriend.

>>733061563
Get comfortable with being alone.
I had one real girlfriend that I loved, and it destroyed me.

Once you're okay with loneliness, talking to girls and finding new ones is a hell of a lot easier.

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>>733063495
Ha, I feel sorry for you anon but I had a similar situation with a very different outcome.

>at a sleepover with 3 best friends around 11 years old
>all in the sitting room in sleeping bags
>one friend says we should compare dick sizes
>whynot.jpg
>all stroke ourselves till we get hard under the bags
>compare tent sizes and then bring them out and measure them
>tfw when 1st place

>>733058056
One of my best friends killed himself two nights ago

I can't even remember the last thing I said to him

>>733063886
You lucky bastard

I feel dead inside like constantly cause I have been betrayed many times. Feels bad man

I am traumatized by memories of sucking while I was sleeping by male friend. Not a good introduction to oral

I have ass cancer

>>733064033
I'd stroke you, no contest. I just want to do it.

>>733063695
should I risk losing face with my family

Why does my girlfriend be super jealous and needy? Can she just shut the fuck up and stop thinking I'm cheating when I am not. I hope you become apathetic and don't look at my phone.

I hope you stay in this relationship where I get to keep my secrets and you don't. Call me a douche, but I started once you checked out my phone entties. Do not do that. I will make a mental note to buy a burnphone, so I can put my hookups yhere and my phone is squeaky clean and you'd be embarrassed to look at my clean phone. Do not act crazy on me.

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>>733060441
Join the club friendo

>>733064340
Yes. You're family shouldn't hate you for wanting to do what makes you happy if its no hurting anyone.

Except for that sweet twink ass. Make that shit hurt. Good luck anon.

My girlfriend lives quite a distance away from me, and takes forever to reply to messages. This is fine, but that added with my anxiety and the fact that we've almost broken up 3 times makes me panic so bad. That, and the fact that I have really bad attachment problems, so i feel really anxious when I'm not talking to her. I know she loves me, and I love her, but man do I panic a lot more than I used to

If i have a new relationship, I'd make sure to buy a burnphone for my OKC hookups and stuff. And a seoarate phone for my next relationship.

>>733064429
i'm only 19 is it possibly a phase?

zoloft has ruined my life and i've lost track of my goals. im a 22 yo blob of forgetful numbness with a shitty casual job and a gf who doesnt fuck me

I legitimately cannot stop fapping all day. I want to do things, but its always "one more fap" jesus christ this is the stupidest addiction

>>733063459
Since then i barely had any relationships.
Of course, your boi is still a virgin since i'm afraid of having any kind of sexual relations and acts without really going to ask my partner's consent.

>>733063349
It started really bad but you did the right thing in the end. Good job anon