Nerf each other's superpowers >any church I enter

But you're a scientologist

>>732978400
Other thread here, now it'll take twice as long to 404 I guess

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>>732978359
>the temperature is raised only be 5 degrees

>>732978359
any church you enter is hit by a light breeze

Any street I shit on becomes a designated shitting street

can spit out bullets with a speed of an actual gun

>can consume anything without feeling grossed out

>>732978716
They always miss

>>732978715
only in India

>>732978765
normal food has no taste for you

>>732978359
Only churches you can enter are mosques

>>732978715
You & anyone who shits on said street/s can only shit pure spring water.

>>732978765
Every single white blood cell in your body dies and no more can be produced

>>732978716
But you have to eat them first.

>>732978359
can turn invisible

>>732978952
>Go to dirt poor African village with my charity team
>Shit clean water
>Establish myself as second coming of Christ

>>732978359

I have telekinesis.

>>732979061
only when you die

>>732978716
only 9mm

>>732979061

You never turn back.

>>732979061
You go blind

>>732979061

You are kidnapped by the government as soon as you turn back.

>>732979061
Only when your eyes are closed

>>732979092
Can only move one atom at a time

Anyone who shakes my left hand becomes a radical communist

>>732979092
You can only use the power to move bbc dildos closer to yourself.

Can see when you try to go trough glass

>>732979279

You only have a right arm.

>>732979279

Communism doesn't work.

>>732979092
you can only use the telekinesis after getting kicked in the balls

>>732979237

Fuck. That one was good. You got me.

>>732979092
You feel the weight of everything you move as if you were moving it with your head.

Mine: You get every female pregnant the first time every time.

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>>732979414
Got a good kek outa that one, nice job anon

>>732979279
you only have that power when beeing in north korea

>>732979092
Only works when youre unconscious

>>732979473
You always have to pay child support

can make both men amd women pregnant

>>732979473
all your childs are autistic

>>732979621
Only animals though, not humans

>>732979063

kek

>>732979661
>childs
No anon, you are autistic

>>732978359
Any female I talk to grows a dick.

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>>732978359
Stab vest motherfucker

>>732978359
You have to stay in it until it is ash.

>>732979792
But she won't let you suck it

I become a vampire

>>732979792
Their dick is bigger than yours and you have to accept that they are always trying to rape you.

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>>732978359
General custer's great grandson?

>>732979473
But they will always miscarry in the 9th month.

Ability to turn anyone/anything on and off

>>732978930
More like a perk tbh

>Able to control lightning

>>732979887
You live in Philadelphia where it's always sunny

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When I clap autistics listen to my commands

I can turn coke into pepsi.

can fuck any girl

>>732979717
surprisingly enough not everyone first language is english

>>732979910
Every time you do, you feel a kick in the balls

>>732979897
You start shitting diarrhea constantly and can never turn it off

>>732978359
>I have the super power to Kill any SJW complaining about gender "pronouns" and everyone around the SJW starts an applause.

>>732979897
>Turns off the universe when trying to turn off the internet

there's a wasp nest in my head, any time I need help a wasp swarm comes out of my ears and attacks my enemy

>>732979962
It's exactly the same

>>732979962
only works during riots

i have x-ray vision

>>732980035
You become an SJW

>>732979971
Every girl stops existing right now

>>732979959
But they can only hear every third word over the loud clapping.

>>732979897
Can only turn off women.
Every anon has that power.

>>732979959
But they only fulfill your commands autistically.

>>732980035
You stay 12 forever

>>732980096
It causes cancer

>>732979959
You're autistic so you clap for fun.

>>732979910
it dosn't prevent you from burns lightning causes

>>732980067
there's a wasps nest in your head

>>732980122
Turns off your mother so no tendies

The power to summon trips

>>732979992
>Not from an English-speaking country
This board is for people only, fuck off

>>732980142
uh oh we have an edgelord over here

>>732980035
Fear of applause

>>732980209
Noone ever checks them

I get trips or higher everytime i post

>>732980067
The wasp nest has replaced your brain, so you're completely brain dead. And drool a lot.

Can turn anything I want into a potato

>>732980067
Even when you only need help doing chores they still attack

>>732978359
When I remove an eyelash, a random refugee vessel sinks; killing everyone on it.

>>732980300
You're permab& from all boards

>>732980285
You monster

>>732980209
Only works for people who respond to your posts.

>>732980209
1% chance of success

>>732980199
>>732980111
>>732980122
>>732980099
>>732979888
>>732978577
God bless

>>732980300
Everybody stops caring about repeated numbers

>>732980111
chekd and kekd

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>>732980035
epic :D

>>732980300
You post constantly and die of malnutrition

>>732980317
also you're Irish

>>732980420
I have those Nike slides. Most comfy footwear I've ever owned.

>>732980322
Your eyelashes are molten copper

Can have consensual sex with my mom anytime, anywhere, with any perversions you can imagine.

>>732980317
But you're allergic to gluten so you can't be near them.

>>732980317
The potato's are violent muslim fundamentalists

>>732980580
She has AIDS, herpes, and hepatitis C

>>732980580
But your dick loses an inch each time.

>>732980580
You don't enjoy it

>>732980580
Every time you fuck her she get's a retarded inbred baby

>>732980580
Cant have sex with anyone else.. Even when shes dead

>>732978964
how the fuck is that even related
Rework != Nerf

>>732980580
every time you use this ability your mom turns into an old chinese man

>>732980580
She hates you for raping her.

>>732980580
You were adopted by two gay men

The ability to turn any woman into a hot anime chick

>>732980820
They still don't want to fuck you

>>732980820
only in 2D

>>732979092
Can only move things that are yellow

>>732980772
It means your body loses the resistance it would have against those diseases you'll get after eating shit all day, which is no doubt the reason you chose this power

>>732978359
You have an uncontrollable desire to become a member of the clergy, to the exclusion of all other desires.

>>732980791
kek

>>732980820
They don't ''rawr xD'' back when you text them.

>>732980820
they later turn into tentacle monsters and rape you

can change a color of any thing

>>732979663
>men and women
>only animals
Nigga you're stupid as fuck.

the ability to shit out anything you want

>>732981056
Color blind

>>732979473
All the women become extreme leftists that abort every child they have

>>732981009
How is this a nerf?

>>732979897
excepting tv sets

>>732979621
Can only perform anal, and without condom.

>>732981056
You're colorblind

>People will believe any lie I tell

>>732981056
Black people remain black

>>732981153
But when you tell a lie you die and burn in hell forever

>>732979887
Every victim whom you drink their blood is a hardcore prostitute that never uses protection and lives in africa.

>>732979959
They take the commands too literally every time, but will somehow still get it wrong.

>>732981153
when you lie, your nose grows

>>732979962
Diet pepsi

>>732979897
Can't control whether you make it on or off, you just have to wing it.

>>732979910
You have to wait till its storming and only when a lightning strikes naturally.

>>732979061
when there is no one around

Ability to make people laugh at my jokes

>>732979959
Deafness is a side effect to your power.

>Music appropriate to what I'm doing is always playing, always something I would like and never annoys me (might annoy others depending on taste and mood)

>>732980067
The help applies to anything that could be considered help including "getting off" causing the wasps to make you a perma virgin who can't interact with anybody.

>>732981493
It's a pity laugh

>>732979971
Only people that identify as a girl but biological isnt.

>>732981493
You laugh hard before you can finish your jokes

>>732981493
>can only tell Rape jokes.
you win either way bro

Immortality in a sense.
Can't get split in two persons - allways only one part survives and grows back.
If the entire body gets vaporized (i.e. center of nuclear explosion), respawn in random habitable place with all memories and my consciousness.
All in all deadpool.

>>732981535
You go deaf

>>732981535
Everyone on the planet hears it, and they eventually track down the source of endless Kenny G ballads

>>732981153
you delude yourself
>>732979473
they're all pregnant with people posessing nerfed superpowers from itt
>>732980300>>732980209
also loose a tooth every time you get trips

>>732980035
You live in America during the 60's

>>732981629
>As a quadrapalegic

>>732980317
Can't use butter and can only eat them raw.

>>732981629
Being alive is a living hell, you want to die so badly but cannot

>>732980096
Can only see bones...

>>732980096
Only works on dead people

>>732978359
But the fire is restricted to candle wicks

>>732980209
Only on a trap thread

>>732980945
Destroys the point entirely, at least make it to where it's doable and won't kill you.
What you just said has the creativity level of a first grader and is near pointless to even say.
You might as well have just typed "you did if you use it XD"

>>732981679
quadraplegy is a result of some kind of injury or disfunction. That collides with this instant healing concept.
>>732981706
This one's better. I guess I would enter that point in few centuries anyways.

>>732981893
Die* damn auto correct.

>>732980300
But when you do everyone else in the same thread get better repeating digits so you become nothing special.

Literally dr. Manhattan's powers.
That's what I would actually want. Not a god, but close enough.

>>732981899
All kinds of birth defects where you're born without limbs. You can't heal what you never had.

>>732982104
Tiny blue penis

>>732981493
Can only tell one joke for the rest of your life.

>>732981893
I can't hear you over the animal waste sliding down your gullet

>>732980580
You are temporarily gay when you are in side her

>>732982104
You also have his personality

>>732980820
You can't physically touch them

>>732982205
You must be 18 or older to browse this board anon.

>>732981629
Healing /Regenerating is slow as fuck

>>732981153
Only works on deaf people or children

>>732979663
Lemme guess, you also think the planet is less than 100k years old?

>>732978577
a light breeze would fan the flames...

>>732981629
They grow back as random different color each time.

>>732981493
Only when around autistics and tards

exceptional ability to pretend having superpowers

The power to always feel full and never need to eat again to survive

>>732981629
Yeah but you're gay

>>732982561
Damn, that's a good one.

>>732982617
Your belly feels so full it's like it's about to burst

>>732982617
You feel bloated lethargic at all times.

>>732982104
You only exist in the watchmen comics and have to relive the same stories over and over agian.

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>>732980236
You do realize people speak more than one language, you fucking moron.

>>732982597
You obviously never actually have the powers, but you still get all the drawbacks
And they are permanent

>power to open doors with your mind (even if they are locked)

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>>732978359
absolute omniscence and omnipotence throughout the entire multiverse, all possible planes of existence, every single dimension.
>god
>nerf that

>>732982617
You still have to shit

>>732982597
The superpowers you can pretend to have are barely usefull.

mine :
>Ability to seduce and turn on anyone i wish.

>>732978716
Guns are mostly held still in your hand, that is the speed in which your bullets are shot

>>732982897
>only real fake doors

>>732982897
Trapped in a room without doors

>>732982922
You also like traps

>>732982897
only wooden doors

>>732982897
Doors make deafeningly load creaking sounds any time you open them in any way.

>>732982973
You become impotent.

>>732983048
omniscence means I know everything from every single angle imaginable. Including hatred and love for everything.
>infinity is quite mind boggling concept.

>>732982973
You have no sexual drive

>>732979971
but only get pegged

Ability to fire any gun I pick up as if it had a bottomless magazine

>>732980236
>American education

>>732982922
You must first live yiur life as every mortal in existance and experience their suffering and pain through all of their lives, one by one before you get it.

>>732983153
aside from knowing everything.

>>732982922
you're in a body of a retarded midget held in a high-security Asian prison

>>732983168
Suicidal

>>732983192
That's going to make him into one spiteful as fuck god.

>>732983153
Yeah but you still like jacking off to penises so that makes you gay, who the fuck would worship a god that's a faggot. Fuck outta here

>>732983192
That's the part of omniscence. Knowing everything means knowing each moment of every single being, every single grain of sand, every single particle.. you get the concept, right?
>infinity :>

>>732983168
Gun can't be automatic.

I can punch people through the internet

The power to steal other abilities from this thread, but not receive any of their nerfs

>>732982922
Only on the multiverse inside that cool game that comes out tomorrow.
The game will never get past the 50K unique player mark.

>>732983168
you use your teeth as bullets
even though they grow back

>>732983168
It goes off randomly

>>732983343
You have no wi-fi

>>732983168
But you can only aim it at yourself

>>732980820
They look horribly realistic and almost instantly die due to wrongly proportioned bodies

>>732983319
If hes a god he could keep it a secret. boy you aren't that bright huh?

>>732979342
>Can see when you try to go trough glass
wut

>>732983355
No one still likes you in real life

>>732982922
you are the little brother to the real god, so you don't ever get to do anything firsthand. Also something something can't create a boulder so heavy you can't push it

>I can swim through air

>>732983355
Thread 404s before you can steal any powers

>>732983319
With that concept I would be a neckbeard jacking off for 22 years with the same sock, but also a version of Hitler, that won.
All realities, all lives, everything.
>you still don't even come close to getting the concept of infinity.

>>732983343
they can punch back

>Have the power to return to any previous time in my life with my current knowledge

>>732978765
It's always your father's semen

>>732980035

Your gender pronoun is now "they"

>>732983592
>can't get back

>>732983453
If he was a god he wouldn't have to hide it, hed just make it acceptable or very one else would be gay so it's normal. >he could keep it a secret
Fuck you're such a dumbass

>>732983355
Have the creativity of an underage child on 4chan.

>>732983591
Thx bby

>>732983592
You become uglier every time you do.

>>732980300

Each time you want trips, you got dubs

>>732983703
I can live with that

>>732980236
kek

>>732983526
Can't breath air though

>Immune to all illness and disease

>>732983526
Can't breath air

>>732983746
That's assuming that he wants to share his traps with humanity.

>>732978359
But you are an unbearably annoying atheist that constantly talks about burning churches and never gets invited anywhere because of it

>>732978716
That gun is a bolt action 50cal

>>732983551
>still gay

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>>732978359
>any church I enter starts to burn
Anyone that sees the flames is instantly converted to that religion for life, as well as any of their future descendants.

>>732983592
Evry time you do you have a 50/50 chance of becoming gay

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>>732983829

>>732983796
vaccines cause you to become autistic

>>732983796
And you're a hemophilac

The ability to make anything you touch weightless/float

>>732983860
He'd just make every human a trap, or make it okay. He wouldn't hide it that just pathetic

>>732980035
Your gender switches every 10 minutes

>>732984164
That includes the Earth.

>>732984171
>Implying

>>732980580
She ages 40 years as soon as you try to do it

The ability to never have to study anything agian, just touch a book and gain all its knowledge and will not effect your brain negatively.

>>732983355
You die immediately as the thread is deleted. No power can interfere with that, not even immunity doggo

>>732982922
Noone believes you, and noone believes in you

Ability to breathe smoke and never get lounge or cough

>>732984164
Everything you touch drifts into the upper atmosphere never to be seen again.

>ability to learn skills/knowledge without putting any real effort in

>>732984382
You age 10 years every time you do this.

>>732984382
But everything you learn is in Romanian

>>732983168
They all fire in full auto mode and each shot has enough recoil to dislocate your arm

>>732984382
You're unable to communicate that knowledge in any way to anyone.

>>732984438
You can learn, but every piece of information you absorb this way deletes a random part of your memory of equivalent value

>>732982922
It's all in your head, you're just an insane man in a mental asylum. You never physically go to these places and all the information is too much for you so you have no sense of reason.

can hear phone conversations via waves in the air

>>732983343
Your punch can feel firewall as burning fire

The power to effortlessly phase through any walls of your choice

>>732984605
You slowly die of cancer

>>732984626
You can never make up your mind

>>732984626
you cannot move unless you are passing through walls.

>>732984626
Any paint that was on the walls will stick to you.

>>732984626
You can't turn it off

>>732984605
But you have to pay for every persons phone bill if you listen to their conversation

Power to control all paradox

I wish to have an endless flow of creativity, to never be bored.

>>732984605
Only phone calls to customer service

>never get tired from lack of sleep

>>732984626
You fall through solid objects

>>732984605
You hear them in binary, which you can't understand

>>732984434
Only works with smoke from cigarettes

>>732984788
You are still always lonely

>>732984781
No paradox exists

>>732979139
how is that nerfing, fucking retard

>>732984789
Go comatose from all lost sleep when you consume sugar or coffee

>>732984788
You're catatonic (but have a rich inner life)

>>732979120
LOOOOOOOOOOOL

>>732984788
Only works when you're in an empty, 8x8 white room.

>>732984948
Fuck it. I'd go for that.

Ability to instantly get a new qt3.14 gf whenever your current one breaks up with you

I wish to always roll quints

>>732984789
But you do suffer all the other negative effects from lack of sleep, like stress and hallucinations

>>732985061
They are all cheating to be with you, and their other partner is ex-marine.

>>732984382
this is the only way you can gain knowledge; you're effectively deaf and blind to the world around you.
My superpower is I shit maple syrup

I can turn any OP into a fag.

>>732985061
but your gay

>>732985156
Only when in Canada

>>732985062
Nobody cares

>>732985166
> literally, the power to do nothing

>>732985156
You shit maple syrup now. You're asshole is constantly a mess of stick sugar rashes, but on the other hand, you make some kinky pancakes.

>>732985270
I wish somebody cared.

>>732985135
> partner
Partners. Those qt3.14s are fucking half the Corp.

I wish for one million sand dollars.

>>732985285

Kek. You got me.

>>732985396
>u dun goofed now, cunt.

I can shoot my fingernails like tiny shurikens

>>732985336
Your wish never comes true

>power to use any shoes as if they were hoverskates

>>732985497
Every time you do so, someone yells 'HEY MCFLY' and chases you through downtown.

>>732985452
Just make it: the power to make OP admit to being a fag

Ability to create anything i say

>>732985620
>as long as it is in the dictionary and is something you can logically afford without the influence with your superpowers.

The ability to be not depressed.

>>732985482
But, much like actual shurikens, they do fuck-all

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>>732980937
underrated

>>732985620
You must adhere to a strict vow of silence for possessing such knowledge
Speaking any word will get you assassinated

can produce rainbows

>>732985880
*during receptive gay sex

>>732985880
Only from your ass and they smell really bad

>>732985880
Only from your ass

>>732985685
Only works if you kill yourself

>>732985620
You can only say potato