Ask a men stuck at home going through his first hemorrhoids crisis

How did you get them?

What was your first sign that you were having trouble down there? Did you know what it was from the get go?

>>732750775
I don't know. I had no constipation before. According to the doctor, It might have a link with musculation

Do you, ummm, like, 'play' with them????
On a scale of dull ache to red hot poker where does the pain sit?

>>732750775
You get them by sitting on your ass all day. Pushing too hard while shitting, wiping your ass with too hard toiletpaper, or pushing too hard on your ass while whiping.

>>732750921
I saw blood once in the toilet few weeks ago. But since It happened only once, I didn't pay attention.
When you have veins coming out of your anus, it's pretty straight forward to guess what it is

>>732751126
No I don't play with it. And I certainly will never in the light of the current event.
On a pain scale from0 to 10, I would say a good 7.

>>732750775
Apparently women get that often after childbirth

Drink water dumbshit

>>732751777
That's not a question.

Do you have to be careful when you wipe?
Is the pain constant or does it come and go?

>>732751926
Since it's started, I go Japanese-style, with water.
When I lay down it's ok, stand up is annoying, sit very painful

I think it was the most embarrassing event in my life having to call my female boss and tell her I can't work because hemorrhoids.
I'm a truck driver. So you can imagine what it would be like bouncing around in a seat with roids. Not cool.

>>732752273
(OP here) Does the crisis last long? Does it leave aftermath?

>>732752383
No aftermath, except that the more you get them, they're easier to get later on. So take it easy for a while.
Should clear up in a few days. 5 at most. If you're not aggravating them.

What was it like having to show your butt to your doctor? Hope you get better soon

Is there a gel or lotion you can use to ease the pain

Got mine by over doing it at the gym. Competing against someone stronger, so pushed myself further. Yeah pushed to hard and got the roids. Got the cream and sorted... Mostly. That was years ago. Got checked last year due to pain and blood on toilet paper. Turns out I did more damage than I thought. Had surgery two weeks ago. Damn I was in pain for the next week and a half. Chomping tramadol, brufin and paracetamol for days, tryna stomach fucking laxatives. Shit sucjs man. All I can days is keep proper form when working out and don't push through your ass like a woman giving birth!

I had one a couple of weeks ago. I actually popped it. A blood clot came out. It was jelly like blood im guessing already old blood.

Not OP but I regularly get hemorrhoids from drinking too much and coughing hard from weed.
Pain is nowhere near 7/10 if you know pain.
I passed a kidney stone that looked like an indian arrow head (10/10 never drink soda again) and a hemorrhoid is a 3 at best.
They itch, they burn, it hurts to wipe, but 7/10 they are not.

Does your butthole look like normal again once you get over them, or is that how skin tags and stuff happen? Legit question.

>>732752691
To the doctor, I don't care. But she had a young, cute doctor trainee with her (I don't know the exact english word). I asked that she leaves the room.

>>732752836
A mega ultra kick in the balls or a marble sized kidney stone.

>>732752849
No OP but to this point my butthole always returns to normal.
I've had hemorrhoids at least once a month (lasting from 2-8 days) for about 3 years

>>732752825
popped it on purpose?

>>732752912
I'd rather have my sack cut open and have a micro sculpture carve my balls into the shape of factorials than pass another stone like that.
I've never been kicked in the balls so hard that I cried, puked, cried, puked, shit myself, and finally passed out, to the point I had to go to the ER.

>>732752936
Why are they coming back that regularly ? Drink water, and eat vegetable!

>>732752947
Yes. I guess the itch and pain i got from the roid made me feel it all the time when on the bed. I got tired and kept messing around with it like it was a pimple, after a while it popped. Been alright since. I bled allot tho

I had one. Couldn't sit always felt like pooping then one day it popped while I was taking a shit. It looked like I aborted a fetus in the toilet. After that it was 2 times more than before. Had a to fashion a was donut. After a week or two of healing. I would get swass all the time from the thing healing.

>>732752936
I cough really really hard, anon.
Like, harder than your 70 year old grandpa with emphysema.
I'll be coughing after a dab, and all of a sudden feel a sharp hot pain in my asshole.
>Another hemorrhoid

>>732752873
Good idea to ask her to leave the room.

Also I think the term is junior doctor.

>>732750406
>hemorrhoids crisis
I've had issues for several years.
I shit blood every other week.

If it's external, take hot baths.
Use Preparation H ointments and wipes
Use Squatie Pottie
Relax in the spoon position.
Don't scratch. It will get worse and last months
Take fiber supplements.
Go out. The more you walk, the better you will feel.
DO NOT SCRATCH

>>732752936
>>732753037
Fuck I relpied to myslef
I gotta quit drinking

File: excrement feces.jpg (73KB, 1104x696px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 1104x696px

As you can see in the video my butthole works fine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIXgcVPu2Qc

>>732753311
Solid shits are so rare for me these days that that turd actually looks appealing.
I eat a fine diet, drink plenty of water.
The problem is that I drink.
At least a six pack (of 16 oz 8.1%) of beer every day.

Ever tried eating a flaxseed muffin? Or not reading while taking a shit?

>Had a to fashion a was donut. After a week or two of healing. I would get swass all the time from the thing healing.
wat?

>>732753399
Yesterdays shit was a little tougher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfQZ9VmC2aQ

>>732753401
I have never read anything on the toilet.
I don't own a cellphone or a laptop.
Literally the most interesting thing I've done while shitting is jack off.

>>732752849
Yeah bud. You can get tags from them. Usually only from the severe ones.

>>732753511
Like Remy LaCroix?

>>732753511
My biggest was the size of a ripe grape, and I'm good.
That shit was awful, so I can't imagine one bad enough to leave a tag

>>732753399
I feel you. As soon as I drink a glass of water, my stomach starts to rumble and growl.

>>732753476
Do you shit with your knees higher than your hips? Elevating your knees by being on the balls of your feet? Put your elbows mid-thigh and straighten your back? I've heard it's the form of shitting on a toilet, together with a diet lacking fiber and consumption of water, that leads to hemorrhoids. Apparently they aren't common in India, land of the squat shit.

>>732753580
Yeah the ones that create a tag are the ones that take ages to go away and ate big and painful. Sucks man. You can get them banded if they are on the outside, but quite often surgery for the inside ones. Mine were so bad I had prolapse roids. Surgery was the fix.

>>732753140
Yeah i know what u mean. Dab gave me roids from coughing so hard. And a nice inguinal hernia

>>732753694
>>732753174
Thanks I'll remember that

>>732753991
>>732753694
And keep your stomach sucked in while crappin'. A little cursory research in the proper form to shit would better illustrate than my words, my inflamed friend.

>>732750406
If your butt is a painfull cabbage, why don't you just eat it?

>>732754171
You would kinda think a wet tongue getting busy around there would be soothing at least. Can't imagine there would be any takers.

>>732750406
Join the club m8.
I have it for a week now. Doctor said: drink loads of water, eat alot of fruit, take Daflon pills and apply ointment when it hurts too much.

I got it when i pushed out a giant rock hard shit log. I was literally screaming.