>be me >be at work, fry cook at McFats >shit work but

>>732336060
Anymore stories, buddy?

>>732336060
i also work at mcdonalds

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>>732336060

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>Late 30s
>have 2 kids and a wife
>daughter son
>happy as can be
>bond with son cause he little me
>his favorite food is tacos
>always make up the food together and made up a cooking song
>sing "neat taco meat" in a bad melody
>really start to like our bonding
>really like it a lot
>after dinner we always bathe before bed
>need to bathe cause he's always messy
>wash him up in all his dirty areas
>get dried off and start to get ready for bed
>put my arms around him to tickle him
pic related
>start singing our special song
>sweet neat taco meat son

>>732336785
kek

>>732336060
whoa... epic story bro...

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The classic

>be me
>want to kill myself
>can't
sad ending tbh

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>>732336060
>Be me
>Working at McFats
>African American female customer comes in
>Cuts in front of the two people at the register
>"Quarter pounder with cheese and a large fry."
>"Ma'am I need you to go to the back of the line and wait your turn"
>"AW HELLLLL NAH! THIS CASHIER JUST TOLD ME TO WAIT BEHIND THE WHITE PEOPLE! CANT SERVE A NIGGA BEFORE THE WHITE FOLKS!!"
>I look behind her
>It's too blatantly white males
>They're looking at her like you would a circus elephant
>"Ma'am the gentlemen behind you are clearly Japanese."
>One of the guys behind her says "Stupud amewican. Ching chin won chin." in a mocking japanese voice
>African American woman screams in rage and confusion
>It grabs our big plastic utensil dispenser
>Runs off with it
>Manager chases her while screaming at me
>Get fired when manager comes back

Apparently I should have just taken the bitch's order, but I think I did the right thing.

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>>732339119

>>One of the guys behind her says "Stupud amewican. Ching chin won chin." in a mocking japanese voice

mfw reading this

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>>732339119

>>732338646
That was a fucking waste of time

>>732338646
/thread

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>be 28
>going to a restaurant
>ordering a pizza pie
>i said no ansjovis wtf
>girl says sorry i say is ok
>eat pizza pie while lying
>go outside wait till restaurant closes
>walk up to girl call her a bitch
>yelling I SAID NO ANSJOVIS CUNT
>punch her repeatedly in the left eye
>shit stars bleeding she yells "whyyyy whyyyyy"
>take her head and place it above my cock
>let blood pour on cock
>shove it in her mouth NOW SUCK IT
>manager comes out yells WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING
>grab my pistol and blast him twice
>then blast girl in skull with my cock inside her mouth
>let blood pour all over my cock
>feels good man
>escape and go home
>masturbate with her blood still on my cock

>>732338552
I'm full and even lying down its difficult to laugh.

So now I'm just fucking laughing like a retard for like 15 minutes and I can hear people calling me retarded in the other room for laughing for so long.

Worth it

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>>732342000

>>732341636

I fucking love this one.

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>>732343193

>>732343333
checkem

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>>732343333
>>732343682
forgot image

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>>732343728

>>732341483
wat

>be me
>42 yrs old
>senior in high school
>fail penis inspection day
>spaghetti everywhere

>>732344237
Real?

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>>732344310
Yes, please end my suffering

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>>732343846

>>732339119
Thank you Anon. just had the best laugh of today.

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>>732343034
Ello Govnuh', that cheeky gobby fag, gun' stole me knickers, and me john thomas is hangin out with all the benders thinkin I'll go full monty with them down the lane as I'm chasin the cheeky fucker. So before I have her majesty's pleasure, I catch the bastard and people see me goin all rumpy-pumpy on tha' fucker.Well, bob's your uncle and I turned his dick into a fanny I did, but lookin around I saw I was snookered and I was like "great fanny adams", so I whipped him with me twig n' berries and I ran off to get pissed, I've never felt more tickety-boo.

>>732341636
I'm tearing up while loling, thanks mate

>>732336060
I dun get it

You hold an ice cream with a napkin?