Worst sexual expirences thread? I'll start >meet girl

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>>732316859

your dad

>>732317107
Lel

>>732316904
AHAHHAAHAHA I WAS OP IN THAT THREAD DO YOU HAVE MY ORIGINAL STORY SAVED?

>>732317291
The original story? You mean the first picture?

>>732317359
the picture that I replied to was a parody of the shitty sexual experience greentext that I made a few months back.

>>732317359
oh, yeah the original pic, not the greentext that the guy in this thread made

>>732317291
oh nvm I'm retarded

>>732316859
>>732316904
FUCK THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY THAT SOMEONE SCREENCAPPED MY /SHITTY/ NIGHT

>>732316859
Anything that involves a woman

>>732317628
That shit was too funny not to screen cap

>>732316859
Bump

>be me
>24 y/o
>Start working at a new job
>30 y/o girl from my job starts talking to me because of job
>End up scheduling a date
>Go for a coffee, then we grab something to eat and then hit a bar
>End up at her place
>She's got really nice ass and tits
>Think I must do my best effort to create good impression
>Start fucking
>Cum in 2 min
>mfw
>mfw I ate her out to compensate
>mfw it worked out really fucking well

Still was a fucking shitty experience, I had never gotten the "Did you cum already?" before so I was very disappointed of myself.

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>>732317684
Faggot detected

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>>732318734
Could have been worse lol. At least you made it up to her

>>732318826
>tooth jobs
>puke on you
>piss on ya and call it cum
>fart on ya
>dont own a dick; have no clue what is going on
>smell bad; have fungus and mucus
>nothing in common
>inferior
Even their tits smell like cheese

was fucking my 13yo fuck buddy on her living room couch when her 9yo sister and a couple friends walked in on us. was just awkward for a few seconds

>>732319001
That's not all women though
>>732319248
Kek how old were you? What was their reactions?

>>732319357
30
>was just awkward for a few seconds
can you not read?

>>732319357
I didnt cover the looks aspect because even that is lacking. What do you mean not all women. How the fuck can i find any woman interesting? Ill never know

>>732319357
I was 16. we all just kinda stared at each other for a few seconds, then they walked away. me and her laughed about it and continued fucking.

>>732319452
That's not really a reaction.

>>732319622
eh what can i say kids are horny shits these days

>>732319730
Seems like it. Must have something to do with them all being on social media seeing overly sexualized and half naked girls constantly

>Meet girl, I'm drunk, she's obliterated
>Wander around the city talking to her friends
>Eventually get to her place
>She's still drunk, her apartment is nasty
>Weighs herself, starts crying
>No condom, we fuck anyway
>She's a dead fish
>Asks me if it was my first time (no)
>Flip her over and ride her doggy
>Cum in 5 mins, shoot on her back
>Clean her up, flick her bean and finger her
>She does it herself, expells my fingers from her pussy
>Says she likes my big dick but I need to lose weight
>We sleep
>She wakes up two hours later and takes a monster diarrhea
>Doesn't wash her hands
>Pretend to be asleep
>Fake a phone call and bike home in shame

never hook up with a 5 am Japanese gutter slut

>>732320059
>She wakes up two hours later and takes a monster diarrhea
Lol

>>732316859
Sounds like my first time

>Meet girl at the club
>After maybe 20 minutes of talking, she is down to leave
>Seems a little bit drunk
>Head back to my place
>Arrive, she takes shower, I take shower, then proceed to fucking
>Stick it inside her, says my dick is too big
>Proceeds to pull out a vibrator toy
>Puts the vibrator toy on her clit, says it 'soothes the pain from my size'
>I then pump maybe 10-15 times before she says she has cummed, she can't go any longer so she wants me to stop
>Lasted maybe 30 seconds
>I don't get to finish, she doesn't blow me
>Fuck it, and just fall asleep
>Next day she wants to hang out with me the whole day

Fucking hate spending time with women who are garbage

>>732322486
Well hopefully you actually got to fuck unlike my beta ass

>>732322534
That's some bull shit, should've told her to suck or gtfo

>>732319001
what kind of girls do you fuck

>meet up with girl from whisper in a parking lot
>tattoos and piercings, my type
> has a clit piercing
>Hngg.jpg
>she starts riding me things are going smooth
> she ends up going too high up and my cock slips out scraping against her clit stud
>ends up cutting the attachment from my foreskin and tip of the dick
>blood everywhere I don't care im too horny to care
>cum inside her with blood all over her
> she digs it
>to this day i can't put it in someone without having lots of lube
>regret it ever since took 3 months to heal and couldn't fap because it hurt too bad
> still a good fuck even though basically circumcised now

>>732322842
Ones with penises

>>732322919
Stupid fucking bitch

>>732323005
Yea now i have a permanent scar and the healing fused too tightly so a slight left curve when i was almost flush straight

>>732323082
Stupid vagina dentata bitch. Sounds like broads who have torn dudes' banjo strings or this "chick" a guy told me almost sucked off his tongue this one time

>>732322978
THATS GAY BRO

>be me
>15, haven't had much sex
>been fucking 13yo roastie from down the road
>go to her house
>watching braveheart with a blanket over us
>start fingering her
>bitch is so fucking wet, never felt anything like it
>super hot, he pussy juice is soaking her pants
>pull my hand out, covered in fucking blood
>go to bathroom, wash hands and leave without saying a word

>be me
>18 y/o back then
>be in some chill online community
>meet guy thats looking rlly good (totally my type 1.90 m tall, blonde, blue eyes typical scandinavian)
>hes p chill
>become good friends
>fly out to norway to see country and chill with guy
>want the d cuz no d in 2 years
>wax private parts
>take extra good care of not forgetting to take contraception pill
>get to his place
>watch some films and shit
>turns out he is a virgin
>dont care want the d
>come back from bathroom getting all ready
>see him laying on couch saying "take me" in an all serious matter
>wtf.jpg
>deny him for now, maybe tomorrow in a less awkward situation
>go to bed
>he hugs you from behind
>"i got a boner"
>youre like wtf
>he presses himself closer onto you
>where the fuck is the boner
>dont care
>sleep

>next morning
>he tells you about his boner again
>you shrug it off
>you message your friend telling him about awkward shit
>he tells you to help hottie with his boner
>evening was so boring i dont even remember
>second morning, he tells you about his boner again
>youre slowly but surely sliding your hand down his body to the waistband of his trousers
>u try to find his dick
>finally find his dick
>wtf.jpg
>max 2.5 inches dick when hard
>youre awkward af
>try to jack him off
>he cums in like less than a minute
>he falls asleep
>rip getting the d, would have had hardware issues anyways

Paid 100€ for a boring week in norway, not getting the d or doing anything that might be fun

>>732324369
are you hot?

>>732324369
This was the worst england in awhile lmao

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>be me 15
>she 16, been dating about 4 months
>basement things get spicy
>under blanket "watching TV"
>her little brother is down stairs coloring or some shit
>girl tells me to stick it in, I don't wanna b/c her 5 year old brother will find out (also this is my first time)
>she forces me to anyways
>firsttimesexisrape.png
>I don't even have a condom and shes not on birth control
>mfw she didn't even ask
>brother comes over to ask us to look at what he was drawing
>mfw he was drawing my gf laying on me
>mfw he doesn't know what's happening
>mfw i came while he was talking to us
>mfw unwanted sex = bad sex

the relationship went downhill real fast. this could've seriously ruined my life.

>>732325072
Almost had a kid anon

>>732324884
Lol yeh i'm pretty bad when it comes to writing long greentext stories

>>732325330
ikr fml I haven't had sex in over 5 years because of this...

Why do people put their cocks in other people's poop holes and not expect poop?
Are you guys retarded or something?

>>732319001
virgin detected

>>732319001
Jesus fucking Christ anon, have you ever fucked anything other than a crack hooker from the local truckstop?

>>732316859
>>732316904
So no one else got a kick out of these two pics?

>>732320059
>never hook up with a 5 am Japanese gutter slut
Never hook up with "Japanese" women living in America period. They have literally traded the best culture on Earth for a shitty American trash life.

>>732322534
Dude you were already fucking her, you should've just continued.

mine was pretty gay... i had met a chick off of omegle in like august last year who was an incoming freshman at the university of Georgia (im 24).. i got nudes off of her after like a day or so since she was a total virgin, she was a little pudgy but overall she had a great bod. she would always talk about how cool it would be to meet and hookup, but we never could since she was like a 3 hour plan flight away from me. Anyways, we keep talking for like the past year as she becomes sluttier and sluttier, embracing the sorority girls lifestyle and starting to love giving head to random university boys etc.

Anyways, eventually i got the option from work to fly to her city all expenses paid as long as i did like a day of work while i was there. obviously i jumped at the opportunity because i wanted to bang an 18 year old freshman slut! so i get out there and she basically gives me the run around and doesn't want to meet up, despite being cool with it on the leading few days. so i was stuck in atlanta for a night with nothing to do and blue balls, which really sucked because fuck hotels. then the next morning she sent me a snap zooming in on chris hanson's face?? but... she's legal and i'm only like 5 or 6 years older??? so i'm not sure what she was getting at. i played it off like i didn't know who it was since i really didn't want to get into an argument about why what she said was stupid. anyways, she still sends me nudes now and then and tries to get me to talk to her, but i don't really see the point anymore

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>in South Korea travelling
>can read/write fluently, can only speak a little
>pick up 6/10 off of tinder to translate for me when i'm ordering food
>we end up going to my apartment
>she must be the only overweight korean ever
>my luck
>her personality makes me want to kill myself
>she really wants to fuck
>i don't really want to fuck her because i only like sleeping with girls that i'm attracted to
>tell her i don't want to have sex unless we're dating
>she starts sucking instead
>starts biting and gnashing, way too fucking aggressive pushing on my balls and the space between my ass and balls
>so fucking uncomfortable, literally staring at the ceiling wishing it was over. it HAD to be her first bj.
>eventually i tell her to just suck and to stop pushing on things so hard
>put a blanket over her so i can imagine it's a kpop starlet instead of her
>get super close to cumming in her mouth
>she stops, "i want to feel it too!!" gets very bitchy???
>end up jut going and getting kbbq

the food and alcohol was so good that it was worth it, but i should have ditched her. she dragged me to a karaoke bar another day too and her singing was TERRIBLE, it was worse than the bj...

>>732327007
yeah fuck her off man, she is just playing stupid 18yo games and after she gave you the run around the one and only time you would've been able to do something I can't see this being worth the time. Unless you legitimately want to be friends with her, but who wants that girls are gay as fuck.

>>732327535
yep, that's a lot of the reason why i didn't lay into her on the night of for her bailing on me. i get that people need to have these experiences sometimes before they realize that there are people on the other end of their actions, so i kinda just let it go. she's not really worth being friends with so i have really 99% just stopped talking to her, other than the occasional maintenance "hey, how's life" etc

>>732327466
why the fuck did you go out with her again if the first experience was so terrible?

>>732316859
met a fat tinder whore in her mid 30's who had a few kids and was going through a divorce while about 15 people on discord listened.

After having sex for about a minute, i came. I promptly put my clothes back on and unmuted my discord voice chat and said "You know what they call me? They call me the minute man?"

Somebody in the server recorded it and uploaded it to soundcloud. I'll post link if anybody cares.

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>>732327648
i couldn't order food or get into bars without a korean to vouch for my character/translate (unless i wanted to go to places with a lot of white people, which i didn't), and i couldn't rebound on tinder fast enough. the guys from 18 to 30 are actually super racist against white dudes since they hate english teachers/military people because they cause trouble and don't add much to society, so it's hard to get around unless you're 100% speaking fluent or with a korean girl

>>732327007
Share the slut's nudes then man !

I remember having to call off sex because she kept slobbering like a saint bernard. Every time we kissed, I ended up with slobber running down my chin and all the way to my chest.

>>732325072
I mean my first time I was dragged under a demountable and fucked up the ass then left there naked. At least you got a girl

girlfriend told me she was too tired

i tried to fuck anyway

i was fucking a sleeping girl... was kind of awesome

she wakes up a little says "this is weird stop it"

I jerked off on her ass instead

>>732328084
all the vids i have are on my computer at a different house :/ only have some dress pictures on snapchat on my phone, nothing i can easily upload

>>732326878
get a load of this weeb

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>>732328404
Master race *desu*

>>732316859
>Be me.
>Be around 17-18
>Have low self esteem because awkward teen.
>Have slightly chubby chick who wants to fuck.
>I am game.
We end up in her room.
>Start making out very heavily.
>Within 10 seconds my arms are under her shirt on her boobs.
>This goes on for about 5 mins.
>We back out to strip clothes.
>She drops jeans.
>She is wearing male boxer shorts.
>One thing in my head is going on: WTF but ok.
>She drops the boxers.
>WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE.mp3
>Really long black bushy hair no care into it at all
>But that is not even the worst of it.
>Her pussy looks disgusting it is brown while she is a white chick like she ran yard of cock through she already claimed to be a virgin before this took place.
>But that is not even the worst of it.
>On the right side of her minor labia is this tear shaped,the kind long tailed kind fleshy extension about 10 cm long that is 4 inch for usfags.
>In my head i am like i am out but how the fuck do i get of here.
>Awkwardly cuddled her boobs for about 20 mins.
>Then it was around the time that her mom came home so we quit.
>We stopped talking to each other after.
>Still feeling disgusted with myself from time to time for lowering my standards like that.

>15
>Dating 16 year old Cuban emo girl
>Crazy as shit used to bite the fuck out of me when we were fooling around and cut herself
>Didn't care bc godlike tits and pussy was moister than an oyster
>Date this crazy bitch for 4 months and she doesn't wanna fuck
>Get used to just fucking around, fingering her and playing with titties
>Hanging out in my room one day smoking weed
>Get way too high trying to keep up with her druggie ass
>Start making out grinding the shit out of me
>All the sudden wants to fuck
>TOOHIGH.JPG
>Performance anxiety as fuck, heart beating fast, sweating
>Can't get it up
>Tell her I have to go to the bathroom
>Go in there and start slapping the shit out of my dick bc that's how that works right
>Finally get a boner going
>Tuck that shit in my waistband and shuffle past my mom and grandma back in the living room
>Return to make out session with newly found boner
>"So where's the condom?"
>"I don't have one but I just got off my period so it's alright"
>Fuckit.jpg
>Slip it in and start slamming ass
>Most glorious 45 seconds of my young life
>Pull out at the last second
>Move up to do an old fashioned porno tit shot
>Underestimate 4 month blue balls cum shot
>Huge load right into her eye and all in her hair
>Freaks out and gets mad at at me calls her mom to pick her up
>Mom sees cum in her hair and beats her when she gets home calling her a slut
>Breaks up with me
>Her brother who was a year older than me tries to fight me at school the next day
>Punch him in the throat as hard as I can and run away while he's choking on the ground
>Suspended for 3 weeks
>Girl is a dyke now

>>732326878
you are the weebiest weeb who ever weebed. I am currently facetiming my jap gf who is home for the summer in fucking Shibuya. She will literally not stop complaining about the stuffy pointless cultural issues and rampant wasteful materialism that is her homeland. She said England is worse, but she'd pick America any day

>>732329968
10 BLOODY CENTIMETERS!?

>>732316859
>be me
>be 16
>virgin
>had just taken away my best friends girlfriend at the time and she was now mine
>had recently been cucked by my best friend with this girl
>revenge.exe
>get in the back of her car
>cramped.ogg
>get a blow job from her
>think to myself my hand is way better
>Tell her to stop cuz I wanna stick it inside
>put the condom on backwards
>don't really feel anything when I do stick it in
>Force myself to cum
>condom broke, completely torn
>she breaks up with me within' the following hour and goes back to my friend
>I lose it and try to an hero

>>732331028
So, she's a SJW, basically.

Dump her before she bluepills you, /b/ro.

>>732331522
it looked discussing too since it had veins!

I've got a fat gf who doesn't shower often. The sex is great, but washing her before is such a chore. Every single time, have to put her in the shower...

>>732324369
Post tits

>>732327783
Please do

>>732324369
Learn to fucking greentext you roleplaying trash.

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>be working night shift
>horny af
>browse a local dating site
>management to b8 a girl to come over and fuck
>girl comes over and is hideously ugly
>atleastsheain'tfat.gpeg
>the cunt used fake pictures to b8 men
>convinced myself that i can fuck her by imagining a 2D grill
>she started to suck my dick and after one minute she stopped
>she asked me if i finished and spit in a sink
>i said no and confusingly asked what happened
>first thing i saw was that her mouth was full of blood
>ooooodearjesuswtf.gif
>sink is also full of blood
>as this was going i was still stroaking my dick and then i noticed
>my hand and dick are covered in blood
>turns out that she managed to somehow to cut my dick below the head with her shark like teeth.
>she made a hole the the size of a needle
>from that tiny little hole my dick bleed for about 15 minutes
That was the day i stopped using dating sites

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>>732322919
Fucks with an open wound on his cock. How's the aids treating you?

>>732325072
Did you keep the drawing of you losing your virginity? I would have it framed