>>732193236 Is photoshopping a 13yr old head on a 18yr

>>732193236
is stealing old af pictures and then using them in a completely unrelated post illegal?

>>732193431
that's actually a fucking amazing question

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If i get caught at. A toll booth and owe a fine will i go to jail

>>732193431

ive done a number of cp cases (ill green text a story or 2 in a second.

i think this one would come down to a jury. im gonna abbreviate the test but it basically comes down to whether a prurient person would deem the material to be offensive and have no artistic value. it could go both ways. but id say more likely itd be an offense because your taking an image (albeit partial) of a child and placing them in a sexually explicit position

probably one of the best legal questions ive ever been asked honestly

>>732193236
Is loli illegal

>>732193544
no. youre not profiting from it. repost at will

>>732193236
is killing jews legal if they step on my property?

I'm thinking about going to Law school. What would you tell me about the experience I'm about to have, and any other things you wish you would've known before starting? Also, after Law school, how do you exactly go about becoming a practicing lawyer?

>>732193236
what was your lsat score?

>>732193882
sadly no. you cannot use violence to stop a trespass unless you are threatened with equal force

if i was gonna do something violent against a trespasser tho theyd be fucking dune coons. say what you will about the jews, but the dune coons are the worst. coons period

>>732193841

Thanks for the reply! Ofc i was not asking out of personal reasons!

>>732193896
I'm doing PolSci undergrad currently. Law school after.

>>732193750
gonna just start every post with lawfag, attorney at lawfag so every1 knows its me

how the fuck would you get caught at a toll booth? like you stop to pay the toll. god damn you're retarded. get out of my office

>>732193896
165

>>732193236
Have you ever provided your legal services to female clients in exchange for sexual favors? I'm genuinely curious bout whether this is commonplace or not.
Also, whenever I've had to put up with jury duty, I've noticed lawyers/attorneys always seem to have the sexiest, cutest assistants. Do you basically pick the attractive, younger female applicants over all others? I'm not judging, because I'd totally do it.

>>732193841
This guy is lawyer confirmed

fuck man, lawfag is being a good op that's like the fucking first time ever

>>732194051
lawfag, attorney at lawfag here

thats cool, i always try to dissuade ppl from going to lawschool but go for it, we need more lawfags on /b/

>>732194148
that's solid.

If you were stranded on a desert island and could only bring one supreme court case with you, which case would it be and why?

>>732194158
ok no, BUT

i represent a ton of pimps, madames and prostitutes. just ended a 5 year relationship (and i did love my ex and not cheat for once) so didnt fuck around

but i sure as fuck was offered many many times and proably will take up the next good offer (or hit up an old one)

wouldnt do it in exchange for services tho. lawyer in my office once did that and the client walked into our office and said pay me 10k (twice the retainer) or shed notify the bar. he had no choice sadly

>>732194301
Plessy v. Ferguson

>>732193236
If I'm drunk on my personal property. Like outside smoking a cigarette and my crackhead neighbors come on my property start some shit and I have to shoot them will I be prosecuted for murder because I had been drinking. Also in live in Kentucky if that means anything.

>>732193236
what is the legal stance on traps, are they gay or not, if so was the case a federal one or a state one?

lawfag, attorney at lawfag here

green text time
and since /b/ loves cp

>represent a dude accused of fondling 13 yr old sons ass.
>case is kinda bullshit, going thru divorce mom manipulating the kid blah blah blah
>anyway, doing great killin the DA (he was a faggot)
>BUT, in ca you can bring in witnesses to testify abt uncharged and unreported sexual molestation
>boys older sister (not related to client) gets on stand
>crying profusely, "he asked me to come in the bathroom, i walk in and he pulls his pants down and starts asking me to touch his penis and kept asking me what i wanna do to him"
>me: client wtf are you doing
>listen to me OP, i never asked her to touch my penis
>me:ok what happened
>client: i was in tijuana, i had some bad tacos. they caused my balls to swell to the size of melons. i was scared, she was home, i just asked her to take a look

tfw sister is 15 and he blames exposing himself to her bc some bad tijuana tacos caused his balls to swell up to the size of grapefruits

Who is your favorite professional wrestler?

>>732194881
lawfag, attorney at lawfag here

as a persian man once said on a jury i had,
>there is man's law, nature's law, and god's law and god's law is first

court of god determined traps are gay

What a waste of a perfectly functional loli

>>732194999
and the trip seal too, fucking case closed i guess

>>732194651
cant tell you for sure abt ky (i know if its florida oyu have the right to go on his property and just preemptively kill him)

but what i can tell you (and this is actually pretty universal) is that you can only use equal or necessary force. if hes got a fork, grab you knife, if hes got a knife, shoot him in the leg (just kidding, shoot him in the throat and say you had no choice)

just dont shoot em in the back

>>732194999
yeah, but the god of persia said that... what does the white man's god say?

>>732195103

lawfag, attorney at lawfag here

honestly someone should screencap that just so we can stop having those god damn threads abt traps being girls posted every day

>>732195158
you asked for caselaw, i provided. precedent rules

>>732193236
If black magick was proven to be real and I hypothetically killed a couple million people in a divine rage, is there any chance that I'll get 90 days of prison for it?

Do you think Trump firing Comey is a blatant admission of guilt?

>>732193994
I don't think that's true in stand your ground states. In Dawkins vs State (OK) the court wrote:
>"[T]he 'stand your ground' law... provide[s] that a person has a right to expect absolute safety in a place they have a right to be, and may use deadly force to repel an intruder... for a person to be justified in using deadly force, the person must not be 'engaged in unlawful activity".

lawfag, attorney at lawfag here

ok next story, this one i call nigga kryptonite

client is 45 yr old black pimp. real niggardly. REAL NIGGARDLY

on backpages or some prostitute website, white attractive blonde messages him
toogoodtobetrue.jpg
she wants the D
really an undercover cop who does this shit for fun (hes a patrol officer, nothing to do with sex crimes)
anyway they start texting everything cool and she goes wait mr pimp man, im 17
hes like ur a cop
but they keep talking
and she sends him pictures of stacks of money on her bed
come get me mr nig pimp man i want the d
he say i know your a cop again, but that hes willing to talk

drives out 2 hours to see her

turns out shes a cop. but in fairness to my client, taking a black pimp, offering him a 17 yr old blonde qt 3.14 and stacks of money...
how can someone like that resist

he can't, it's nigger kryptonite

Jury nullification, go....

>>732195398
yea sure whatever floats your boat

>>732195509

lawfag, attorney at lawfag here

honest answer is i dont think anything will happen. i do think it shows something funky, but the state of our political system is the equivalent of a literal retard

>>732195509
>Not OP
Just read about that, but guilty of what?

>>732193236
If I live in a highrise apartment in a big city like New York or wherever, and I masturbate in my apartment, but shoot my load out a window and it lands on someone. Is there anything they can do to catch me? Presume I'm on like the 20th floor so they certainly couldn't see me doing this

>>732195142
What do you mean in Florida you can go into his property and preemptively shoot him.

>>732194893
how the fuck do tacos make only your balls swell? we need some webmd on this shit

>>732195741

lawfag, attorney at lawfag here

most likely the emoluments clause

>>732195741
collaborating with the Roooskies

Comey was fired days after beginning an investigation into Trump's ties to Russia

>>732193236
>pic
>>she found out she was dora

>>732195781
ok is it illega? yes
will tehy catch you? probably not unless spiderman catches you, but everyone gets one

i went to school in ny, ppl do that shit all the time btw

>>732195800
they dont. my colleague and i argued with him for like 10 minutes but eventually we just gave up. every client lies, you jsut get used to it

>>732193236

Are you a public defender? If so, why do you help people you know are guilty.

What would you change from the judicial system process wise?

Has being a lawfag made you racist?

>>732193236
Have you ever fucked a DA or assistant DA?

>>732195984
nope, hate the pd

i do it because i dont have a heart (ill represent anyone, just love what i do adn the worse the better)

but the other reason is that its never about innocent or guilt. there have been plenty of cases where ppl are celarly guilty but WAIT, DNA. dude died in prison and was innocent

so its never about innocent or guilt, its about the evidence and in our system of justice evveryone is entitled to a defense. also keep in mind the da could want 10 years on a bullshit charge, its my job to make it fair

if i could change anything abt the legal system it would be no more state bar. id like attorneys to have the same freedom as doctors (you have no idea the shit i sue doctors on that they get away with and theyre never punisehd by the medical board)

i had one doctor who was stoned (probably opiates) and he left fucking 2 syringes in my clients chest poking his heart after major surgery. for 2 years this poor guy had this feeling of his insides being shredded but no idea until they did a random mri

>>732195592
Kek if actally true

>>732196053
lawfag, attorney at lawfag here

sadly... i used to be SUPER liberal

but im now VERY hesistant to take on blacks, theyre difficult to work with, always try to cheat you and no matter what the deal (even an acquittal) they never appreciate it UNLESS you get them off of murder

>>732196225
no, most arent attractive. im sure itll happen tho

>>732196337
my turning point was when I accidentally went to a popeyes in the black part of baton rouge. the customers were screaming at the staff about how they should be given free chicken. if you can't even be civil to your own people, why should I think you're worth the time of day?

>>732193882
Depends on the state nigger

>>732196363
I guess that's also why there are interns and clerks. fuck em while they're young

lawfag, attorney at lawfag here

another story

this is the story of the shitty killer

>early 90s. dude is high on meth and is told by his buddy house on Y street has tons of drugs TONS
>get high on meth
>break into house, but nothing there
>dude takes the biggest shit youve ever seen (we had 2 days of expert testimony on his pile by the way, freshness, moisture, when it was deposited)
>stupidgross.html
anyway, takes his dump goes into young boys room
>honey were home. mom and young son walk in
>son walks into bedroom
>stabs son over a dozen times

didnt need to kill the kid, didnt need to take the shit (which is actually how they caught him) but he did

lawfag, what are my chances? good if you hadnt taken that ridiculously large shit in the closet as a fuck you bro

>>732195793
hes a fucking faggot playing pretend on the internet and doesnt know shit. just ignore thread

>>732196531
dude it used to be different. most have died off now but my dads old clients (the black ones) used to be great, paid, appreciative

the new generations jsut get more and more niggardly

>>732196581
i try to be careful. outside of court and work im a monster (say horrible things, dont give a shit im a lawfag)

but on the clock i tend to be professional

do you think patents should be based on first discovery or first to file? and why is the patent office issuing so many bullshit patents where companies are just blanket covering an IP space without any real technology or science to back it up?

>>732196690
it was a joke in which i was implying bc of ppl like george zimmerman and casey anthony that you can get away with whatever you want

stop being a faggot because i actually did something with my life (also im charging you $15,000 for being a cuck and wasting my time)

How can I legally bang hookers off of Backpage? What should I look or for if it's a sting?

>>732196827
lawfag, attorney at lawfag here
i do a fair amount with copyright and tm, but patent you have to do the patent bar

my answer is it should be first file (sometimes ppl will discover X and hold onto it so the 14 year clock doesnt run) and we should reward innovation

>>732196905
>wine 'em
>dine 'em
>69 'em

this is a message not sponsored by lawfag

>>732193236
why are u such a faggot, law is for cucks

>>732197004
>Not doing a standing 69

Embarrassing tbh

Why is family law so ridiculously expensive and biased against dudes?

>>732197074
mah bad

>>732196905
lawfag, attorney at lawfag here

ok you ready to have your mind blown

go online find contracts for pornography. contact female, say you want to know her rates and that you are a pornographer and would like to take some photos. everything will be done contractually and if she'd like, you will delete the photos or video once youre done with the shoot. when they get there have em sign contract, take photo of their ID and ask to do a naked test shot (real cop wont do it)

they cant bust you bc pron is legal and youre doing it by the book (contract is everything)

genius? fuck yes it is

>>732196905
to asnwer the second question usually its a sting if theres long drawn out messages over weeks or months (dunno why, just a pattern ive noticed) beyond that tehy will get female officers to pretend to be hos and they bust so many of these whores and find all the texts and shit they know what to say. see my last post where i explain how to legally fuck a hooker

>>732197060
law is great dude. i get to do horrible things for horrible ppl. it's like /b/ in real life except theyre not pussy edgelords

>>732197220
Fucking hell yeah thanks law fag. Take my dubs

If you're visiting a country with a much younger age of consent, like Germany, and you hook up with a 14 year old. can you be charged with a sex crime when you get back to the US?

Whats your favorite movie about lawyers?

>>732197159
history. dudes had all the leverage and for some reason gave it up (we've been working for years to change the laws back)

but it used to be once married ur fucking married no matter how drunk he gets or badly he beats u. cpl cases were so beyond extreme the court and politicians finally gave some leverage. and you know once you give the pinky they go for the entire fucking wallet

>>732193896
Last* learn to spell faggot

>>732197422
I will take your dubs as payment. seriously tho, that is fucking the most legit way to get around this shit

>>732197220
do you have to incorporate as a porn company for this to be a legit defense?

>>732197477
the verdict, most realistic movie about law imo

>>732197447
yes you can. Merican laws follow you everywhere. EVERYWHERE

>>732197518

lawfag, attorney at lawfag here

i hope ur kidding, its lsatw

>>732196893
Lol I figured there was some crazy legit loophole on Florida. But every time I ask that question it always seems to be a grey area. I really just want them to give me an excuse to shoot them. They're a drain on society. Sell drugs and fight in front yard at 3 am.

>>732197547
nope

Have you ever received sexual favors or drugs for legal services?

>>732193236
what was your worst case?

>>732197447
not lawfag, but i think you have to make sure its understood you went to the country for other actual purposes like work and whatnot. otherwise its sex tourism, which is a felony i think

>>732197547
lawfag, attorney at lawfag here

so incorporation offers certain protections, none of em apply to what you want tho (mostly financial protections). yes a corporation cant be sued, but if there was something to be sued on it would pierce the corporate veil

>>732194158
>>732194402
>>732197669
sex favors was answered already

>>732197611
lawfag, attorney at lawfag here

the shit you get away with in florida is amazing. we hear verdicts all the time that blow my mind. one of my favorites is the lawyer representing his client on an arson charge and in the middle of closing his phone lights on fire in his pocket

>>732193236
What can I do to cover my own ass, if I live with a drug dealer and know about it

what's the law that most people break that they're most likely to get caught and fucked over for?

>>732197669
see my answer above >>732194402

>>732197220
Actually no. Technically porn I'd obscenity and unless you have the paperwork filed you can't film a porn.

>>732197831
not lawfag
>call the cops

>>732197831
put a sign on your door that says your name and no entry without permission. its a sticky situation to be in but that will offer you protection after your charged (if you are charged). may not be much (depends on circumstances and state) but itll do more than you think

>>732197840
i do mostly drug cases

(i also do civil, contracts and med mal but criminal is the best)

>>732193431
not op but lawyer

No. It is protected speech under the First Amendment.

Ashcroft v. Free Speech Coalition

>>732197879
I'll defs call the cops on my friend, good one

>>732197932
What would this do exactly?

>>732197861
not in ca. ive done the contracts myself. its shockingly easy to get a contract (there are formalities to follow, i.e., getting the drivers license) but its not as bad as you think. and filmng sex in and of itself is not obscenity (not under the legal definition anwyay)

>>732198051
lawfag, attorney at lawfag here

is it really? hey learned something new today. thank you for providing the caselaw

>>732196363
Some of the ADAs in my county are hot as fuck.

>>732198107
is the person really your "friend" if they deal drugs in a manner where you could easily get entangled?

>>732198107
possibly make it so the search warrant doesnt extend to anon's bedroom. like i said tho, if they brought charges itd come into play (argue they went beyond the scope of the warrant, no pc to enter anon's room). up to the judge if it works or not though

what's the dumbest sentencing that a DA has ever tried to pull against one of your clients?

>>732193236
Do you live in California and have you ever been to mexico?

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>>732198173
Lawfag, what would it take to get you to do a regular thread here?
Your stuff is amazing!

>>732198173
Not lawfag proven. Abandon thread

>>732198051
ok i just read the case, thats different than what anon asked. that entailed art. remember the definition, offensive to a reasonable persons prurient interests. childs face photoshopped on naked body is not symbolic of anything and wildly offensive to all US communities

>>732193236
This might be a stupid question, but Is there a way to file a lawsuit in another state without having to travel there or spend a lot of money?

>>732198376
14 years for 3 m80s

just got him out of jaul actually with a misdemeanor fireworks possesison

>>732198406
yes and yes

>>732198214
I doubt I will but if I do I would like to put a precaution or 2 in place if I can

>>732198410
thanks anon. didnt think id get this much interest, ill definitely be doing this again sometimes.

and grandfather started my firm 85 years ago. i have some great stories as well

>>732198426
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

ive always gotta keep an open mind when it comes to new info, but either the op claiming to also be a lawyer misunderstood the parameters of the question or hes not a lawyer

here's my response where i distinguish what ashcroft said and waht anon asked>>732198457

>>732193236
Is hanging children a crime?

>>732198511
does your name starts with W and ends with N ?

Is it illegal to have publicly available pictures of underage girls who are fully clothed (or in a bikini in public) for the sole purpose of masturbation?

>>732198704
no sorry

>>732198731
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

nope. fap away my friend. clothed children photos wouldnt be offensive to a person with reasonably prurient interest. ur good to go

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

gonna shower real quick. brb

>>732198129
But selling it is and as the max hardcore case shows you can be charged with distribution if you sell it to the distributor. Also having the film could be considered obscenity. The laws have actually gotten stricter

>>732198746
do you know someone named Warren Ellis ?

>>732197518
Kek

>>732198820
>>732198845
i'll fap with a clean consensus while you are gone

>>732198916
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

anon only asked how to bang a hooker without getting arrested. i provided the answer, not a question on how to distribute pornography. also max hardcore got busted because he had women pretending to be children

ok brb

So if I save a few terabytes of loli in one state where it's illegal and then brought it to a state where it's legal would I still get in trouble?

>>732198927
He's not a barrister.
Ellis rarely hangs in California and when he does it's San Francisco.

>>732199086
do you know him?

Have you ever had encounters with "sovereign citizens?"

>>732199044
But that's not what the charge was. It's not illegal to age play.

>>732199078
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

in no state is loli legal (not anime and not actual cp)

traveling iwth it to another state makes the crime federal (as well as state)

>>732199086
barrister and whateve rthe other one are distinctions in the UK. in ca we're both automatically

>>732199278
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

yes i have, represented a cpl ambassadors (not major ones). the answer is yes, they ihave immunity

>>732199304
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

just pull up the wiki if you want a detailed explanation. i really dont give a shit

>>732199191
I know people who know him.

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>>732193236
Im planning on going to law school, any advice?

>>732193236
what's the youngest child you've sacrificed to molech?

>>732199565
if you want a good job (unless family is in law or great connections) get good grades

real advice to success is that reading the material is virtually useless (youll do it oyur first year bc your a 1st year) but if you really wanna succeed, get canned outlines and do practice tests (preferably from profs past exams)
^ you honestly have no idea how helpful the advice i just gave you is

>>732199504
If you ever get a chance to contact him, just say "The papaya was great"
He will understand.

>>732199278
I think you mistake the people I am referring to, I mean these types:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMCO79R-4mM

>>732199565
My best friend works at his dad's law firm. It's where dreams go to die.

>>732199704
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

not gonna answer this one bc the answer is not ok

>>732199429
that's not what he's asking about. "sovereign citizens" claim that their legal entity is a corporation and that them as a person aren't subject to the laws that the corporation is subject to.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sovereign_citizen_movement

>>732199734
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

i work for my family's firm. i got to be a junior partner on day 1 and although it was rough at first i couldnt imagine being anywhere else. each their own

>>732199800
o lol. no i havent. its come up before but i just tlel the client they can tlel the DA that themselves if theyre so sure, bc under no circumstances will even entertain that bullshit

>>732199886
would just tell*

every once in a while im asked to do something crazy and my answer is always No, i run the case, if you dont like it represent yourself

>>732199722
I could contact him at any time I want. Question is why? If I'm going to call in favors it's not going to be to leave cryptic messages.

on a non legal note, what celebrity would you most like to bone?

>>732199705
no family in law what so ever. will for sure take that advice to heart. super nervous about the whole, one test per class thing.

>>732200037
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

hmmm... im very anti celebrity and cult of personality (unless its scientific or based in education) so hard to say

is that dakota whatever of age yet? she looks pretty good

>>732200056
i got a d on my first midterm. had to work out what i was doing wrong (turns out it was following the syllabus and reading all the material). after that test (which in fairness didnt count towards the grade) never got below a b in a class. trust me on the outline thing, its a godsend

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>>732193236
Could I legally have an underage girl come into my apartment just for some cuddling and maybe kissing as long as she is not coerced in any way? What if she is under 13?

>>732199836
My friend was trying to be a professional runner but never made the Olympics. Now he clerks for his dad. It is depressing

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>>732200099
both dakota and elle fanning are of age

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>>732200099
Chek'd

This one?

>>732199960
Oh he will definitely have a good laugh and he will tell you the whole story.

>>732200232
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

sadly no. if you're motivation is sexual and it's a child. es no bueno (also im not a spic, just want to clarify)

>>732200205
I always thought i would have to memorize an entire book just for one test. Makes me feel better that outlines are actually a thing.

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>>732200315
younger sister elle is 19 now.

>>732200274
yea that sucks. i remember when i was a clerk i alwasy felt like i couildnt get pussy bc i was a clerk.

turns out i was wayyy wrong. just needed to become a lawyer and all of a sudden lots of pussy

>>732200319
yes, her then

>>732199960
Did you just name drop in an anonymous forum? Seriously... You have to be the most pathetic human on 4chan.

>>732200383
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

i have a really good memory (can remember phone numbers for days, super helpful)

i knew every case, but didnt learn how to apply the law. remember youre being tested on application, not on matching law A to case 3

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I didn't realize this was an avatarless avatar thread
I hope you fags all die of gay ass cancer


pic related
it's the gay ass cancer you fags are going to get from all the HIV+ nigger semen injected into your anuses

more information on your future cause of death here:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3397564/

>>732193236
Hottest client?

>>732200410
shes not as hot as the sister

>>732200382
How can fix laws?

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>>732200590
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

avatar was a shitty movie and you should feel bad

>>732200666

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

become a politician, you can have less of a soul than i do already

>>732200382
But how could that apply if there is no sex involved? Don't parents hug and kiss their children? How could anyone possibly prove beyond a reasonable doubt that I did it for sexual gratification?

>>732200842
the kid will probably testify that you had a raging boner

Hey op could you show the pics of the most fucked up shit you've seen

>>732200842
see ca penal code 647

>>732200727
I joke that gingers have souls, lots of them. However, I'm just not sure I can sink to those depths. You have to be pretty devoid of meaning to consider politics, I think.

>>732200842

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

also, the law isnt sex with a minor. its sexual assault of a minor. laws are designed to be vague

If a cop see you speeding (let's say 60-100mph above the legal speed limit) and you get out of his sight but then he finds you 5-10 mins later, can he still arrests you?

Or is the chain of custody broken or some shit and you can walk away?

how powerful are the states attorneys general?

>>732193236
Hey Lawfag, How do you get a restraining order on a person that is harassing your spouse?

>>732195191
Seconded.

>>732200551
any advice on what type of law i should go into and what ones i should stay away from?

>>732200933
o man ive got some great photos. but no i cant. thats my clients privacy. stories are cool bc nonspecific, specific details i cant

one cool photo is my guy on the bike whos bike is under a car and all you can see is his leg sticking out, followed by the next photo where the right side of all of his flesh and muscle is gone exposing bone, followed by a photo one month ater of when they basically had to gut the other half because of mrsa

>>732199304
He was charged for distributing to counties with strict standards for indecency. It was a sting. Obscene or indecent is based on the community standards, which is decided by a jury. That's why Max was sent to a court in a rural county filled with elderly, simply because he had a server in Fl. Filming or taking pics is not obscene till you show someone.

>>732200987

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

to me its like a fake job, u literally just get to make up shit and be mad at retarded things for no reason

>>732200356
lawfag, just try atleast.

>>732201041
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

hell yea he can, he can do whatever he wants.
but i always tell my clients that the cops are in charge of the street but im in charge in the court room so you better believe id go wild about it (would probably sitll lose tho)

dont do traffic anymore tho, not since my first year, not worth what i charge to do them

>>732193994
horrible lawyer. depends on the state

all these stories are total bullshit and why the fuck would a lawyer have pics of a dead little girl saved on his hd? Just some faggot lookin for attention

>>732201053

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

just did a restraining order today against a cop who beat up my lcient.

take all evidence you have if any, go to your states local court website or type in restraining order forms, fill em out, say youre worried for your safety, put your name and wife's name on persons to be protected. a judge will likely issue it at least temporarily even with little cause

hey op
surgfag here
curious to hear your thoughts on med mal and tort reform
obviously i'm biased and would love some caps on pain and suffering
i figure, the law makers are largely lawyers, and they will never turn off that sweet sweet settlement faucet

>>732201053
Not op but I work in the courts

If they threaten violence get a PFA. If they don't threaten violence you could also get a PFA by saying they are abusing her mentally.

>>732201356
So you're saying I'd probably lose the case, even though he lost sight of me? Dayum. Depends prolly on if he got the plates and/or a description of the driver.

>>732195142
a person can still be a threat to your life if they are facing away from you.

this guy is not a lawyer

>>732201075
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

hard to say. i make my money off of civil and contract but i love criminal. i will always do criminal bc the storeis are interesting, ppl love to hear about it, im saving ppls lives (idc if good ppl or bad ppl but im saving them god damn it) and women love to hear my stories

do what you love. lotta lawyers just suffer through it bc they dont wanna do something for less money, try and find something ur interested, lawyer have stretched their hands to everything in the world so theres definitely soething for you

>>732201459
WEEWOO WEEWOO TUMBLERINA NEWFAG ALERT

>>732201164

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

thanks anon, so i was right again and this also goes to show ppl with argue over anything and everything

>>732201459
Evidence if the case is ever reopened or brought up again in anyway. The OP picture has been floating around for years and is probably fake.

>>732201218
Giant courtroom where everyone is a lawyer and there are no judges, but everyone will grab their pitchforks on a whim, if the weather is right that day.

>>732201457

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

no it doesnt. the most powerful anti tpass law is castle doctrine and we have it in california. im exactly right and you have no clue what youre talking about. dont mislead the good people of /b/ motherfucker

>>732201459

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

i have the pic of the little girl being hung bc its disturbing and not illegal. and you might be surprised to find out that lawyers are regular ppl to and some of us are even on /b/

>>732201563
>>732201472

Much appreciation my fellow /b/tards.

I've been out of work for over a year due to a spinal injury and child support is telling me they're going to throw me in jail. Wtf do I do?

>>732201795
Keeps faggots out of the thread?

>>732201743
Nevada has far better trespassing laws. Stop trolling with this weak b8

Do lawyers follow a specific writing format like MLA or APA, etc?

So freshman year of college, I got busted with less than 5gs of marijuana in my dorm room. Cops came to take it, I was not arrested. It was my first and last marijuana offense. BUT because I was a scared freshman, I thought I would get fucked if I didn't get a lawyer. So I spent everything I had (2 grand) and got a damn good lawyer, who lead me through the process. I got a six month probation and some community service. THE QUESTION. Did I waste 2 thousand dollars? I have a strong feeling because it was my first offense, that I would have gotten the exact same deal if I had just had a free lawyer appointed to me, if a lawyer at all.

Thoughts?

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>>732193236
are you in san diego and do you need a process server to handle your shit? those are the only questions i have. ill give you the /b/tard discount

>>732196531
Wtf I'm from br 2. U a gaybear?

>>732201524
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

i do a lotta med mal so i think i have a good idea. the truth is it really wouldnt effect you if the caps were raised (in ca its capped at 250k no matter how seriously injured you are, although economic loss isnt included in that)

if caps were raised it would effect insurance companies bottom lines and maybe marginally increase ur rates. take for example a case i have where an infant lost her hand bc the doctor wanted to pull off some impossible maneuever he made up on the spot even tho nurses said no. infant will be handless forever bc he was a dick (the family got 3 letters from nurses in the or stating what happened and how angry they were at the doctor, which never happens). that girl is maxed out at 250 and forever handless? sucks AND her twin sister has both hands

yes shel get mroe bc of economics, but the comp damages of 250k are a joke

OR

how about my client who was told she had stage 4 terminal breast cancer and found out it was nothing when she went to a hospital after 4 yeras. for that whole time she had a port in her breast and believed she was gonna die, quit her job, had to live with her daughter. thats fucked

>>732201869
Nignog detected

>>732201583

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

it really depends, i think id be able to win that tbh, BUT a friend of mine had something similar happen and he lost. depends on the lawyer and how savvy the cop ise

>>732201950
UPDATE: critical info, it was Michigan, and none of it would have happened if I had just got a med card...

>>732201587

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

lol, here's the distinction, if theyre not facing you theres na extreme likelihood youre not in fear of immediate danger or imminent harm (protip: just yell hey real loud and wait for him to turn around)

>>732195592

kek'd

>>732201869
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

i can answer for ca but every state is so different when it comes to child/spousal support ur better off asking someone local

>>732202139
Alright, thanks bud! Cool to know

>>732202122
No, I'm a whitey. I was a carpenter and I herniated a few discs in my back and one in my neck. My company fought my workman's comp claim and I've pretty much emptied my bank account on specialists.

>>732201950

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

hard to say without more info but what i can tell you is if he was halfway knowledgable he saved you more than 2k in fines/fees, nightmare or both

>>732202067

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

lol, i do a lot in san diego, but sorry cant use you. its a cool gig tho, 50-300 bones to hand someone paper. gl anon

>>732202077
lol, thats a weird and specific question.

>>732196259

>WTF?

>>732202190
a person with a gun is a lethal threat no matter what direction they are facing. want me to cite a case where the criminal was shot while running away with a gun and shot in the back and not charged?

it must be fun trolling all these people from your moms basement

>>732202182

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

in ca i wouldve had you get a medcard and gotten you summary probation at ABSOLUTE worst. more likely knock it down to an infraction but every state is different

>>732202320
Shoulda spent that money on a good lawyer to sue the company first.

>>732193236
Wht state do you reside?

>>732202370
best gig in the world, brother. have fun handling the law part, we will keep doing the groundwork. also, getting chewed out by awful paralegals about shit that isnt our fault.

>>732202398

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag
that;s not true. and cite whatever you want. if the person is leaving your property and you kill them youve broken the law

>>732202248
Idahofag here. They're pretty harsh on divorced fathers here. I had hoped the fact that I'm crippled to the point I can barely move would grant me some leniency, but they don't seem to care, even with my medical records. I thought debtors prisons were illegal?

>>732201459
You are hereby charged with Contempt of Thread.
Bailiff, take him away.

>>732198927
He is the violinist in the bad seeds, ask me another

>>732202398
Not a lawfag, but it's pretty much common knowledge that shooting anyone in the back looks reeeeally bad. Even if it's someone trespassing

>>732202624
not for you, you FUCKING WHITE MALE

>>732202624
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

they are. BUT, i know in (i think it was) virginia, some dude in jail was issued an arrest warrant and charged for failing to pay child support. judge ultimately dismissed it because jail, but we're so fucked up when it comes to spousal and child support

>>732202248
Let's say I'm guilty of a crime.

When I talk to my lawyer should I be straight up with him and say I did it and give him all the details? (I've always thought that would be the best thing. I feel like a lawyer would know what the case of an innocent plea could be.)

Or should I make up some lie and tell my lawyer for him to work off that? Obviously I'd want to be found innocent if possible.

>>732193236
is it legal to compost near a public pool?
also is it legal to plant a seed in someone's land without consent.

>>732202722

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

a good lawyer will know the right questions to ask. if doing a murder case do not and i mean DO NOT tell me if you did it (trust me, ill know) but if you say you did then it limits what i can have you say if you take the stand

most other cases you want as much truth as you can get but everyone lies in my field, just the nature of the beast

>>732202455
Yes, I absolutely should have. The company was bought out a few months before my injuries took me down and the new owners were complete fucking kikes. I swear to god, they would fold a nickel in half and tell you they had a dime.

>>732202724
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

uh.. ok. the seed is trespass so yes illegal but you wont go to jail

the compost shit is trespass if its not on your property

bad questions

>>732202699
not if they have a gun

>>732202834
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

that was my first thought. wouldve tried to establish 3rd party liability and sued the shit out of the employer (and set you up with a good workers comp atty just in case)

>>732202905
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

ok dude you're wrong. there will always be exceptions to exceptions (it's what we do) and anon is right, general rule is if they are fleeing you lose the right to kill

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>>732194999

>>732202999

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

hey i got trips twice, both numbers of the beast upside down... if anyone doubts im a lawyer you have your answer

>>732202999
nobody said fleeing.
they said shot in the back.
you claim to be a lawyer and cant even read.

What's the worst crime you have personally committed? Also, what drugs do you take?

>>732203091
sorry, i just have a hard time reading NEET

*lawfag recieves dubs*

>>732202905
I guess if you were to ever be so unfortunate, then you could argue that you shot them in the back while turning and pointing their weapon. You're still gonna have to fight the legal system like hell though

>>732203097
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

not gonna answer question 1, but i will say everyone commits crimes. this is gonna sound wild but i swear it is fucking true, an attorney know participated in a murder and was forced to fire the murder weapon, never got caught

ive done pretty much all the drugs except heroin and meth

i was at a concert right before i started law school, cool 8 hits of acid (thats a story in and of itself), tripping balls like never befre. smoking a joint with some friends, cop comes up to me and asks why am i doing this, why is he making it so he has to arrest me. start walking outta the crowd, ppl booing, all of a sudden acid strength hits and i bolt the fuck in the crowd

was all fucked up for the rest of the show

>>732196648
Tom trying hard miserably failing lol

>>732195592
entrapment to the max?

>>732203362

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

tom?

>>732203091
It implies fleeing. Are you 13 or just retarded?

>>732203378

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

thats how i argued the case (didnt go to trial), but its technically not entrapment (i know i know, its bullshit)

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>>732203155
All for you senpai OP

>>732203413

hes just a jealous NEET who is clueless

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Got any tips for passing the bar exams?

i went to the ER with strep throat, high fever, and pissing blood. a lot of blood. they said it was an infection and gave me antibiotics and sent me on my way. i followed up with my doctor a few days later on a monday and he questioned why they did what they did and didnt do further tests. so he tested me and come to find out i had rhenal failure and had to see a nephrologist because my immune system was basically attacking my kidneys. the er missed it and if i didnt see my doctor i would have been fucked in a major way. question is that is the ER i went to liable in any way? thanks in advance

>>732203501
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

yea, study study study

i had all my outlines (except for proerty) down to 1-4 pages, memorized every word of every law i had to know

Not looking to see if someone asked this already but say you take a picture of your dick when you're 16 and post it when you're 18 is it still illegal

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...You get that thing I sent you?

>>732203534
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

unlikely, you have to prove that the conduct was below the applicable standard of care and i guarantee it's not

also since your doctor did catch it you dont have damages

There's no way to get away with killing my mom who beat me for four fucking years and then dodged child abuse charges in mediation because she gave up custody? (I know the answer, attorney at lawfag, that was just cathartic).

>>732203606
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag
actually that's cp. i dont think many ppl will take the time to check much less alert authorities, but there is a case im aware of where some chick had underage photos of herself was caught and they prosecuted. dont know the outcome tho

>>732203264
Not in sane states like Nevada.
I would bet money you are in California

>>732203697
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

sadly no. tons of cases where kids finally crack or attack/murder the parent/step parent when theyre sleeping bc its the only opportunity they saw. but sadly doesnt fly. gl anon

>>732203353
Well we know the worse crime you've ever committed is worse than taking schedule 1 drugs and fleeing arrest. I'm going to say theft over $5000 but you are a lawyer after all....

>>732203636
thank you anon. this happened years ago so i know i cant do anything now but i was always curious.

>>732203708
Nope, try a hell of a lot further east.
You were close.

>>732201160

MRSA is a bitch ain't it?

>>732203758
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

nah it wasnt theft. hypothetically speaking it may have involved my ex gf who may not have *technically* been of age when we started our relationship

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I hereby declare, this board to be named henceforth as, "Lawfag, And The Adventures Of Faggotry"

>>732193236
I was in the car while my friend burnt down the building while other one was get away driver how fuck iam

>>732203799
i wish i could post the pic of my clients leg. its fucked up on a good rekt thread level

>>732203353
My sister married a cop when she was 15? I was 17, went to parties with cops, got drunk under age, smoked pot with cops. Law is such an odd thing.

>>732203887
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

get a lawyer. you're an aider and abettor. trust me on this, get a lawyer right away bc once they start investigating you it's too late

>>732203887
i was with a friend of mine that burned his neighbors house down the day it happened. they got him but i was not busted in any way.

>>732203944

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

lawyers are like everyone else, we're all living our lives, we do fucked up shit too. also, lawyers and doctors are hands down the worst when it comes to drug abuse. we have the highest rates of addiction

>>732204070

advice isnt changing. but i understand. be safe anon

>>732193236
how do I get away with murder

>>732204222
Kill yourself.

>>732204149
i was just lucky and i know i got lucky for not getting busted.

>>732204222
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

don't murder anyone

>>732204008
Not him, but if he wasmt driving or setting the fire how exactly was he aiding? Just curious, not trying to say you're wrong or whatever.

>>732204259
no that's suicide

>>732204336
Why am i laughing

>>732204080
I worked for Psych hospitals for a while. Interesting place. Hard to tell the patients from the staff sometimes. I, definitely, get where you're coming from with doctors. I only got to know one defense lawyer well enough to get a glimpse at his crazy, and it checks out, lol.

>>732204222
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

good question. what i can tell you is like 100 years ago you had a 5-10% chance of getting caught. now if you kill a white person it's like 60%. choose your victims wisely i guess

What is the longest a mental hospital can keep you against your will?

>>732204295
real lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

not my response (mine had some vague statistics i remember from law school)

this cuck is trying to steal my identity and giving bad advice... motherfucker

>>732204008
To be 100% fair it was my idea but i just didnt have the guts to do it so they did it while we sat and watched it burn for 45 mins just wanted to know how fucked i was if i claimed innocent if they ever bother to investigate 10 years later

>>732204222
If you have to kill, kill someone you don't know and have to reason to kill. Wear a hazmat suit or something a sealed up as a hazmat suit while you do it. Just make sure the outside of it is cleared of all your DNA before you go. Park your car like a mile away from your target then walk, preferably through the woods. Do it at about 3-4am. When you get back to your car change your clothes and put your "hazmat" suit into a sealed bag for the drive home. When you get home burn the suit. If you use a weapon put it in the bad with your suit and burn it too.

>>732204321

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

its actually aider or abettor and conspirator. intent would arguably be inferred by conduct but you are 100% guilty by association on this one

also look at it like this, by going for the ride he is aiding and abetting the conduct unless dude just randomly jumped out of a car without saying anything and out of nowhere appeared gas and flame

>>732204222
Look at places that aren't in your state that have really high unsolved murder percentages. Most murders go unsolved. Like 70%? Something like that. Depends on the city/state, etc. Most murders are someone the person knows, or family, so the police look there first. Random murders are almost impossible to solve. Go, kill someone random, go back to your home. Live the rest of your life looking over your shoulder, because some really smart young detective with tons of energy and a bit of heart left may look at the case and somehow find you, but probably not.

>>732204398

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

among my friends im known for being funny, but having a very dark sense of humor and tendency to say horrible horrible things. but its who i am

I just began studying Law on Monday , I was striving to be a forensic scientist but there nob of the decent unis in my shitty ass countr have it in their faculties. Anyway, I have been considering the possibility of working as a DA. I'm I retarded? I'd rather be a prosecutor for obvious crimals than defending people who may or may not be guilty

>>732204559
security cameras, eyewitnesses, cell phone tower pings, some random DNA evidence, tire marks ... loads of ways.

>>732204415
Lawfag, how did you discover /b/ and how long have you been a /b/tard?

>>732204549
well then, thats how ur aiding and abetting the crime my friend

>>732201659
Glad I could help. I've worked in adult production in South Fl for several years. This case scared a lot of people back when it happened, but seriously, he was doing some sick shit. That's why he was targeted. I've met the guy a few times. Cool guy, but I don't understand or like his product. Besides, if you want to sell adult anything online, you need product approval from the major billers (Visa, Mastercard...etc). They are picky as hell. Worse than the MPAA. They also want a cut. That's why most really hardcore stuff only take paypal.

>>732204660

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

the unsolved rate is going down like crazy. god damn science, how i love you but oh how you make my job so god damn hard

>>732204706

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

not at all, only reason id leave my family firm for an interim period would be to work for the da. pay sucks, but experience is amazing and in ca at least you get a badge after a year

>>732203904

Question based on that.

If i go to a hospital for what ever god forsaken reason, and i catch MRSA or any other infection/decease etc that leaves me fuck up for a while or for life, can i sue the hospital/institution and win a case?

>>732204725
Again if you HAVE to kill choose somewhere rural where the population would rather buy a case of beer than a security camera. Also it should be common sense to leave the cellphone at home.

>>732204559
>walk a mile through the woods in a hazmat suit
You know those things are flimsy as fuck right? Gonna have all kinds of holes and tears and shit by the time you get there.

On the plus side you get the opportunity to scare the piss put of some innawoods /k/ fags.

>>732204738
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

first went on /b/ on 05 or 06

off and on for years. i like /b/. a lotta the fucked up things ppl say seem natural to me (not the trap shit tho, god damn that sucks)

also who doesnt like a good ylyl or rekt thread

>>732204796
Not being a murderer, this comforts me. LOL.

If you post nudes of someone (that is of age) online without their consent what law is it breaking?

>>732204999
some states have made it a law, yes.

>>732204858

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

maybe. the answer is probably not unless you can show you contracted it through negligence on the side of the doctor. we have a case right now with a (relatively minor) celebrity client who got really fucked up bc they used admittedly dirty equipment on her, but its rare as fuck to get a case like this where you can blame mrsa on the hospitals negligence

>>732204999
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

anon answered the question>>732205064

nice trips btw, gotten two 999's myself in this thread

>>732204919
Haha!
Thanks for the thread, Lawfag!
Please do it again sometime! This was a blast!

>>732204999
>>732205064
>>732205136
Is it a felony offense?

>>732204698
Ya same people usually isolate themselves from me after i get what i want or im overly spiteful sometimes for situations i overly analyze and push people away. Works best for the both of us.

>>732193994
Sorry, it does depend on the state. Castle laws in both Florida and Texas state you can legally shoot someone dead just for stepping on your property. Happened to that dumb nignog that tried to rob a house in 2014 in Florida and got killed.

>>732205136
I got quads last week. First time ever. It's almost feeling like 4chan is giving them out more lately, tbh.

>>732205311

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

let me start by saying from my point of view anything is legal when it comes to florida. some of the shit i read about is just unreal

and your reading of the doctrine isnt wrong, but in actual application you cant shoot someone when theyre fleeing

>>732205257
Not op
Illinois has Revenge Porn laws that apply to this situation.

>>732205446
*in ca i mean

>>732205257
Again depends on what state, some it's a misdemeanor some states it's a felony. likely looking at time.

>>732205393
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

words cant describe your retardation

>>732205257

lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

you know i actually dont know how itd be charged. i know its illegal in some states, but havent had this case yet so cant tell you for sure and i dont wanna make something up

>>732205446
Lived in Florida most of my life. Can confirm, though it depends on who you are and to an extent where you grew up (what county), what you can get away with. Crazy place.

>>732205515
lawfag here, attorney at lawfag

not me >>732205393

and fuck you you sorry NEET. if you dont like your station in life do somehting about it and stop trying to impersonate me on a random board. i use my letterhead so legit anons can know who i am, not so i can have my anonidentity cucked by you faggot

>>732205452
Do they have to prove revenge to be the intent? What if you never share the girls name? Is it still revenge porn?