I got declined for Harvard, Stanford and Yale - The fuck do I

Work at McDonald's

Be thankful that you won't be spending 4 years of your life with self-absorbed, spoiled losers. Pick a school with real people and be a real person.

Meditate and breathe

>>732149620
Slap hoes, make money

ITT tech.

>>732149620
Go to a better school that will give you the same degree for cheaper then spend the money you save on a machine to kill yourself with for having such vapid problems.

Just go to college, get a 4.0, and then go to HYS for grad school. That's basically what I did (I only had a 3.86).

>>732149620
this-----> >>732149744

>>732149620
Kys

>>732150027
HYS in UCLA? It has 18% acceptance rate - kinda fearing admission now that i already got rejected three fucking times

Rack up student loans attend community college for two semesters drop out work shitty job be depressed get married rub your depression off on your wife and kids work past retirement be miserable retire have shitty health problems and then die

>>732149620
Declear that you identify yourself as a first nation transexual african american with low cross gender metabolism, and apply for another uni.

>>732149620
Go to a state college you pleb

Go to a good state school. Unless you don't have one where you live.

Michigan FTW!

>>732150638
Jesus this is prob a joke but does this shit actually work? Ive heard rumours...

>>732150638
OP - you should do something like this. Maybe not as drastic. But just put down that your black or redskin or something. You'll definitely get it.

>>732152106
It's the USA you prick

http://nypost.com/2015/04/12/mindy-kalings-brother-explains-why-he-pretended-to-be-black/

tier 2 ivy leagues like Cornell, NW, Columbia

>>732150382
sadly, this is basically the reality of the "american dream" for most people these days.

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>>732152106

>>732149620

Become a monk.

Become the best monk.

Still get interviews for NOVA movies.

Laugh chortle and snortle at how stupid the populace of Earth has become.

Fuck those pseudo intellectual liberal cesspools.

Liberty University!

>>732152106
Worked for Elizabeth Warren

>>732149620
Become a navy seal so you can come back to /b/ and greentext some dumb motherfucker about how you're a navy seal and you're going to beat their ass.
>Shit's cache

Learn to be a plumber or electrician.
You'll make TONS more money

>>732149811
Be a ho, make money, give it to pimp in a timely fashion.

>>732149620
professional fapper

>>732149620
> Be me.
> Admitted to Yale because dad wills it.
> Attend state college in Massachusetts because fuck living in New Haven.
> Finish two degrees in three years.
> Receive Fulbright Scholarship for grad school.
> Live in Canada and attend grad school on government grant.
> Promise to enter public service.
> Don't
> Join small tech company.
> Work for equity and small 120k salary.
> MFW we are bought by a VC firm.
> MFW I have fuck you money as of May 1.
> MFW I'm quitting and moving to the Outer Banks on June 1.

The cream rises. You'll be fine wherever if you do the work.

>>732152664
Indeed. She graduated from Rutgers law school, and got tenure at Harvard by pretending to be native american.

For those who don't know - someone coming out of a shit law school like Rutgers and getting to teach at Harvard - let alone get tenure - is unheard of.

Go to UC with me next year friendo

>>732149620
OP, I wouldn't worry about a college's reputation that much. In the end employers will say "That's a fancy degree, but what did the dude who earned it do?" Take it from me, got a degree in marketing from some shitty backwoods college and now make upper 6 figures on Wall Street living the dream which is going to end at 45 when I kill myself. You'll be fine kiddo, just believe in yourself.

>>732149744
Way to be salty, friend.

>>732152889
HOLY SHIT THAT PISSES ME OFF, I SHOULD'VE DONE THAT AS WELL FUUUUUCK

Guys Im going to apply to other Ivies as well as Berkeley and shit - I am a full white dude with white american heritage - how can I twist the facts as much as possible to be admitted to one of those politically correct schools?

>>732152288
This

>>732149620
looks like you are headed to State U.

I went to State U and I turned out pretty well.

Just study harder than the goy next to you so you can graduate Summa Cum Laude and get a decent job offer

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Be thankful that you were not born in a third world country like I did.

>>732152841
enjoy the outer banks anon. It's nice there. go see the wild horses and fly a kite

Learn a trade faggot

Seriously what type of shit should i mention in my admission that makes me stand out to these politically correct retards?

Should i simply say im gay?

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>>732149620
Two words: Stripper pole

>>732154247
college admissions are all about creating safe space for at risk persons

you need to be a jewish trans-gender, trans-racial snowflake who wants to create a safe space for other at risk snowflakes to feel safe man

>>732154386
Can i lie about my religion lol? and say like i am a transsexual even though im still 'pre-surgery'?

Welding School my brother. Welding.

>>732149620

if you are around that area of book smarts anyway then you're better off on your own and not having your point of view diluted by others.

Seriously start something yourself. You are one of the people we read about 50 years from now that changed the world.

It's just another part of your story anon.

>>732149620
take your little boat and go hunt sharks with nothing but a knife.
>if you kill 1000 sharks you get to level up

>>732154833
tons of people call themselves christian and never step foot in a church.

just convert in your mind

jews make the holohoax real in their mind, you can make yourself a jew in your mind

furthermore, you can be whatever you set your mind to. including a jewish woman in her mid 50s.

>>732155088
>Applied to Harvard, Stanford and Yale
>Didn't get in
>"You are gods gift to mankind!!"

What the fuck man?

Also OP apply to some other schools. In the meanwhile try to get a job or something.

>>732155223
Alright ill be a gay jew with transsexual feelings - what else is there that i can safely lie about?

>>732149744
Dat stereotype.

>inb4 mad jealous because nigger IQ and will never have a chance to study at one of these.

>>732149620
Quit feeling entitled and only then start to consider your options.
If you were good enough for Harvard, Stanford or Yale you ought to have been capable of realising that for yourself.

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>>732149620

DEVRY
E
V
R
Y

Porn, Vidya and 4chan?

>>732155777
thats about it. family's median income will be supported by financial aid office, so just stick to being jewish and needing a safe space due to being trans gender, trans-racial, and trans-aged

>>732152841
You're moving to the Outer Banks with fuck you money, what are you gay?

>>732153231

get a DNA test

maybe you've got a little nigger in you...

>>732149744
>said the poor kid with mediocre grades

>>732149620
Brown?

>>732149620
Burn em down>>732149620

>>732149620
You're fucking pathetic

>>732149620
go to state university. Get jobs easier

Study abroad so the Student Loan retrieval force™ doesn't executed you for failing to pay the debt