Alright faggots. **ASK A PLUMBER ANYTHING** If you ask the

Have you ever had a porn like moment?

>>732117365

Nope.

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>>732117199
dumb clueless ppl and the stuf there self-engineered

>>732117199
Toilets shouldn't rock should they?

>>732117199
Strangest incidents or requests?

>>732117199
What's the oddest thing you've found stuck in a pipe?

>>732117508

No they should not.

>>732117199
why do you think anyone gives a shit about you or your shit job?

>>732117558

Oh this one's a fucking pearler.

Plum/b/anon delivers.

>Working for small business.
>Boss phones up one day "Got a job for you anon"
>"No worries, what's the address?"
>Boss gives address
>Now just letting you know anon, this guy may be a little... strange..
>"....ok"
>Rock up to house.
>Walking up driveway.
>Little pieces of paper all up driveway.
>Huh.... they look like toilet paper.
>Keep walking.
>Further up driveway. More pieces of paper.
>Brown stains.
>That *IS* toilet paper.
>MFW it's not wet, and it's not from a sewer overflow.
>Wtf.hat?
>Alright, let's see what i'm up against.
>Alpha chin on.
>Walk up to door, knock.
>Door opens, man is standing behind wire door.
>6'2 hulking fat hairy greek man.
>Completely butt fucking naked.
>Gigantic flaccid cock in full view.
>What the flying fuck.
>"WHAD YU WAN?"
>Uh... I'm the fuckin' plumber.
>Giant naked hairy greek bastard grunts.
>Hang on a sec.
>Walks into next room.
>No worries, must be going to chuck some clothes on.
>Walks back out, opens door again.
>Still butt fucking naked.
>"Alright come in..."
>Herewefuckinggo.avi

Cont.

>>732117570

Spoons.

Believe it or not, fucking spoons.

12 or 13 of them.

The lady was an old bat with no grandkids so nobody had any idea of where they came from.

>>732117199

I've been scared of ever trying basic shit like changing a washer since a childhood experience.

>Dad turns off mains
>Dad removes tap from tap thing
>Mains magically fails
>Water pissing everywhere
>Can't get tap back on
>Plumber came like six hours later and replaced the mains tap
>House totally fucked with water

Is this shit remotely common?

>>732117607

Countless numbers of this thread have proven you wrong little faggot, so off you trot.

Go back to picking your nose and playing with your yo yo, little boy.

>>732117199
Hey OP. My sink drains really slow. Food and grease often gets dumped down it. Is there anything I can buy to dump down to clear it up? What do you recommend?

>>732117612

>Fat greek bastard starts walking inside house.
>You know what, I'm behind him, he can't fucking trap me here.
>I'm gonna go have a fucking look.
>Step inside house.
>Place is a fucking pigsty.
>Newspapers stacked almost as high as my head.
>Canned food stacked up everywhere.
>Weirdest part of all.
>100's of tubs of vaseline.
>Like fucking HUNDREDS.
>All stacked up next to the newspapers and canned foods.
>Half of them have the lids off and are fucking empty.
>What the flying fuck???
>Wade past all this rubbish to his bathroom. He walks inside it.
>Bathroom is small bathroom.
>One bath.
>One sink.
>All of it, ENTIRELY
>let me be clear about this anons
>ENTIRELY SPLATTERED....
>WITH SHIT COVERED TOILET PAPER.
>It's like nothing I've ever seen.
>We're not talking like a few dalmation spots here and there.
>We're talking like massive lumps and chunks and everything.
>EVERY FUCKING WHERE.

Cont.

Will flushing "flushable" baby wipes fuck up my plumbing?
My house uses a city sewer and I use them every dump but lately it feels like my shits are not flushing and it is clogging more.

Anything I can do routinely to keep my pipes clean?

>>732117653

Nope, that's as rare as rocking horse shit.


Let's say as a freak random event, lightning struck twice and you ALSO had to deal with this, what you'd do instead of flooding the house is go out the front to where the mains is, and undo the nut before the meter. That way all the water pisses out into the front yard instead of in the house, so you only flood the yard.

It also means you don't pay for the water flooding your house.

>>732117706

If it's grease blocking it up, just boil up a big pot of water, and then tip it all down the drain being careful not to burn yourself. The boiling water will shift that shit quick smart.

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>>732117710
Please tell me you fucking booked it Anon!

>>732117815
thanks anon!

You like electricians?
>im a sparky
>Ausfag

>>732117199
Does your wife really hate you cause you come home smelling like human feces?

>>732117889

YW.

Reward with tits.

>>732117199
I've spent too many drunken escapades throwing up in the bathroom sink and it will occasionally clog for days at a time. Any quick fixes?

>>732117933
Your a cuntfag is what you r, fucking sparkys

>So fat greek bastard waddles into his shitty toilet paper covered bathroom.
>Ohgodthesmell.choke
>He walks up to the cupboard.
>Opens the cupboard door
>Turns on the tap.
>And points at the cupboard.
>"See?"
>....no....
>"See?? See?"
>No mate I don't see, what's the fucking problem?
>"Is leaking! See?"
>Mate, you're going to have to get out of the fucking way.
>He walks out, and into the kitchen.
>Stupidly I walk into that festering bathroom.
>Sure enough water is pissing out into the basin cupboard while the tap is running.
>"See? See?" He asks?
>Right now, I realise, he's right behind me.
>I'm trapped in a shitstained bathroom, with a naked fat greek man and several half used tubs of vaseline.
>"That's it I'm getting the fuck out of here".
>"But you not fix problem"
>He's not moving.

cont

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>>732117785
Hell yes, I wish I thought of that one.

That reply deserves boobs.

>>732117933

Yeah mate, I get on with all the trades, got a mate who's a sparky, another who's a fitter, one who's a welder we all give each other damn good ribbings.

>>732118131
Hey, heck you buddy!

>>732118053

No wife, no gf.

Beta as fuck.

>>732117199
Yeah ok, I was building a bathroom (long story) and as I was getting shit at home depot the guy working there tried talking me into venting the sink behind the wall, on a scale of 1 to 10 how stupid is that and wouldn't it cause moisture and mold inside the wall?

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>>732118138
go on

Did you want to touch poo for a job when you were young? Whyd you decide to touch poo for a living?

>>732118109

Just get a hand plunger mate, that will sort your shit. It's usually just the chunks getting caught.

>>732118138

>Fat naked greek man still not moving.
>Aussie masterrace, mind like a steel trap.
>"Of course I haven't fixed the fucking problem, I've gotta go get my fucking tools out of the car mate."
>Stares at me angrily.
>Shit's about to get real.
>"Mate, I need you to get out of my way, so I can get my tools, and get it fixed."
>Fat naked greek continues to stare.
>Prepare to punch his stupid hairy fucking face in and be wrestled to the shit covered ground.
>Hairy behemoth Grunts.
>Gets out of way.
>I start walking out of the house.
>He follows.
>I walk to my car.
>He follows.
>I get in my car and lock the fucking doors.
>He is standing at the window just staring at me.
>In middle of street.
>Still butt fucking naked.
>"Where you going? You fix! You fix!"
>"Hang on mate"
>"No! You fix, you fix!"
>"HANG ON MATE".
>Phone boss
>"Who the fuck sent this job, is this a fucking joke?"
>"What do you mean?"
>"Dude, this guy is fucked UP, who phoned this IN???"
>"Hang on, I'll give you the number of the guy's social worker.
>......
>Fucking SOCIAL WORKER?????
>Tell boss "I'll call you back...." through gritted teeth.

Cont

>>732118163

Thankyou brave anon, tits always appreciated.

>>732118185
>got fag mates who's a sparky, another faggot who's a fitter and one who is a legend welder, the welder is a god among men

>Phone social worker.
>"Dude, I can't fix this fucking job! What the fuck is with this guy?"
>"Yes sorry anon, unfortunately there's not enough mental health facilities available, so they have to put this guy in a commission house for now"
>"Mate! He's more fucking worried about a water leak under a fucking sink, than the BIG STEAMING PILES OF SHITTY WALLPAPER ALL OVER HIS WALLS!!!"
>Yeah, I know, the place is disgusting, I'm sorry about that...
>..... Mindsnap
>"YOU FUCKING ***KNEW*** THE HOUSE WAS LIKE THIS BEFORE YOU FUCKING ***SENT*** ME THERE???
>"Yeah... look... sorry... seemed like an emergency... thought we might have to get it fixed..."
>...double mind snap..
>"SO EVEN FUCKING YOU!!! WHO I ASSUME IS ***NOT*** A GIGANTIC CRAZED FREAK, SEEMS TO THINK A FUCKING LEAK.... IN A FUCKING CUPBOARD... IS MORE FUCKING IMPORTANT.... THAN CLEANING SHIT OFF ***FUCKING...... WALLS***????????
>"........................uh.......yeah... look... again sorry for that.."
>breathed in as deep as I could
>yelled as loud as i could
>FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
>Hung up.
>Fat naked greek guy taps on window again.
>"You fix?"
>FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKK OFFFFF!!!!!!
>Started engine.
>Hightailed it the fuck out of there leaving fat naked greek man standing fat and naked in middle of road.
>Drove to nearest KFC.
>Vomited my fucking guts up.
>Phoned boss, explained story.
>Boss laughed his guts up.
>Abused the cunt out of him.
>Took the rest of the day off and drank myself silly.

Didn't fucking rock up to work the next day either. The boss did not complain.

Naturally my return to work was met by a lot of cheesy bastard grins by all the boys, and the usual rounds of ribbings.

Bastards.

>>732118306

I never wanted to touch poo.

I owed my cunt of a father money and he made me work for him.

Then forced me to do an apprenticeship with him, screaming at me for 10 hours a day.

>>732118417
Any other stories really enjoyed this one

>>732118417
good story ya cunt. Was almost sick reading that

>>732118591

Plenty more mate, what do you want to hear?

>>732118417
I feel ya man, we do all the electrical maintenance in the aboriginal commission housing in my area.
It gets real bad

>>732118417
how about you man the fuck up and finish the fucking job?

>>732118612

Mate the place was fucking vile.

Wouldn't have walked in if it wasn't for the fact I love telling stories, and I knew this was gonna be a fucking story and a half.

Fuck it was revolting. Like a bath covered in toilet paper and shit all the way up the fucking walls. Jesus.

>>732118617
Anything especially if it's like the previous

>>732118629

Shit mate, you'd have a story or two to tell.

>>732118417
I have had to do work at nursing home things for people with dementia and alzheimer's, i know how ya feel /b/ro

>>732118664

Get fucked you smelly little neckbeard keyboard warrior.

As if you'd have had half the fuckin' stones I have. You would have run at first glance of the fat cunt you snot nosed little basement dwelling brony.

>>732118740
Pussy any real plumber has lost sense of smell after all the poo hes dealt with. You must be a really shitty plumber if you coukdnt man up to finish the job.

>>732118813
Kek

>>732118790

Yeah, you'd have it worse than me mate, the shit I deal with is usually watered down.

>>732118836

Yeah yeah kid, keep mouthing off like a hero.

Just because I can't smell it, doesn't mean I want to roll around in it all day you fuckwit.

And neither would you, ya cunt.

You might have all the bluster in the world online, but IRL you're sitting behind that keyboard in your fishnets and high heels hoping that your tears don't make your mascara run you fucking little queen.

>>732117199
The fuck do I put around the bottom of my toilet?

Caulk just gets dirty, and gimmick shit like flex seal didn't help it either.

>>732118664
You probably woulda took advantage of the fat crazy wog and have him touch you, faggot

>>732118942

Kitchen and bathroom silicone mate.

Smells vinegary, has an anti fungal agent in it.

>>732118617
Cmon op ignore them and deliver another story

>>732118951

That the best you got neckbeard?

Stuff another cheeto in your mouth and pat yourself on your sweat stained back you pathetic little keyboard kamikaze.

Many men have TRIED to out insult Plum/b/anon.

They were all schooled thoroughly and sent back to lie between their little pokemon bedsheets with sore botty's.

Faggot.

assuming you're an ausfag, do you work with more PVC or cast iron? is there another kind of plumbing out there?

>am a amerifag residential plumber

>>732117199
Have you ever found a flushed baby?

>>732119093
I wasnt insulting op fag, i was insulting the person who was insulting him

Ok, another greentext via request from a brave anon.

> Be me.
> Be working for boss who is actually good boss.
> Sends me to job one day.
> Silly old fucking chinaman.
> "Sewer blocked. Sewer blocked. You fix!"
> "Yeah, no worries mate."
> Plum/b/anon to the rescue.
> Pull out heavy arse sewer machine and heavy arse cables.
> Drag all the way to top of his house.
> Send down drain and retrieve.
> Sewer clear.
> Brave Plum/b/anon has saved the day.
> "You send snake up dat way?"
> MFW.
> "Nah, listen mate, the pipes don't go that way."
> "You send snake up dat way?"
> "Mate, the pipes don't go that way.
> "You send snake up dat way."
> "Mate, the pipes don't GO up that way.
> "Ok, but you send snake up dat way?"
> "Listen mate.... Shit does not flow uphill. The pipes only go THAT way.
> "Yes, but you send snake up dat way now"
> "THE PIPES DON'T FUCKING GO THAT WAY, THEY ONLY GO IN ONE DIRECTION!!!"
> "You send snake up dat way?"
> Viking rage engaged.
> Realise I can not deal with this fuckwit.
> Placation is only option.
> Send sewer snake down drain as fast as I can.
> "You send snake up dat way?"
> "YES I FUCKING SENT THE SNAKE UP THAT WAY!!!"
> No I fucking didn't but the drain only goes in one direction.
> "But you only use one cable!"
> FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...
> Send four cables down the same one way fucking drain I already sent all the cables down and pulled them all back out again.
> Growl through gritted teeth. "Ok, fucking DONE".
> "You send snake up dat way?"
> "YES I SENT THE FUCKING SNAKE UP THAT WAY!!!"
> "Ok...ok ok ok..."
> Pack up heavy arse sewer machine.
> Pack up heavy arse cables.
> Phone boss.
> "How much do I charge this guy?"
> "$150"
> No worries.
> Walk back in to house.
Cont.

>>732119104

Yeah, PVC.

Cast got phased out with the vit clay and earthenware.

>>732119165
No, but know a guy who did. Was a mate of my old man, and a landscaper.

Lady asked him if he knew much about blocked toilets, he said "yeah, my mate's a plumber, I can check for a boundary trap for you"

He located it, popped the cap off, and all the water surged to the top, and a small foetus floated to the top with it.

>>732119165
I did work at treatment place ( the place where all your shit down the toilet goes) they use to find crazy shit and they once found a dead baby, no bs

>>732119216

Fair enough brave anon.

Missed that entirely, my apologies, I thought you were the fag you were insulting.

Apologies again, fine sir.

The hot water tap in my shower started turning farther than it should need to, to turn on, and now you have to push it all the way back around to the off position to get it to run. Can I fix the tap, or should I just buy a new set?

>>732118740
got larger stones than me m8. I wouldn'tve stepped in the place

> Walk up to chinaman.
> "Alright mate, that's 150 bucks."
> "Yes yes! Thankyou thankyou!"
> Grins at me while walking closer towards me.
> Gets within uncomfortable distance.
> I start backing up. He's still grinning and walking towards me.
> "Uh.... 150 bucks mate".
> "Yes! Yes! Thankyou! Thankyou!"
> Getting closer to the door.
> Realise where this is going.
> Realise he's trying to walk me out the door without paying.
> Not on my watch, cockhead.
> Stand still.
> Chinaman almost bumps into me and takes a step back.
> Stare at him.
> He tries "Thankyou thankyou" again.
> "No mate, the bill is 150 bucks."
> "Oohhhhhhh!!!! Ohhhh!!! Your boss say he send!"
> "No he fucking didn't mate. 150 bucks."
> Feigned surprise.
> "Ohhh! Ok OK I go look!"
> Wanders into other room.
> Shuffles for 2 mins.
> Comes back.
> "Ohhhh, I only have 120 dollah"
> Bullshit.
> "NO MATE. 150 bucks."
> "Only have 120 dollah, you take"
> "NO MATE. 150 bucks."
> "Ohhh... You wait until son comes home!"
> "NO MATE. I'M NOT WAITING FOR SHIT, JUST GIVE ME THE HUNDRED AND FUCKING FIFTY"
> "Ohhhh, do not have! Do not have! You wait for son! He come this afternoon!"
> "RIGHT, FUCK THIS!!!"
> Get on phone.
> Begin to call boss.
> "What you doing? You calling boss?"
> "NO!!! I'M CALLING THE ****FUCKIN'**** POLICE!!!
> "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT I LOOK AGAIN!!!"
> Wanders into other room.
> Comes back with correct change.
> "Ohhhh!!! I found in back room! Is ok now!"
>" Yeah, thanks mate. You have a good one."

Pissed in his fucking letterbox on the way out.

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>>732119285
>Small fetus floated to the top of it

>>732119337
No sweat fag ;) thanks for the apologie. But for real no biggie, i realised you just made a mistake

>>732119220
But did you send snake up dat way?

>>732119399
>Pissed in his fucking letterbox on the way out.
Nice one

>>732119399
You pissed in his mailbox Kek
I havnt enjoyed stories on here in a while any others
I'm the same anon that asked before

>>732119371
It might be the plastic stopper inside the handle, unless you have a common build or have to part number, you're kind of fucked. Even if you did have it, it's rare that a hard ware store wood carry it.

>Just installed a shower valve and hulk dad "tests" it out, ripped the fucker to shreds
>TL;DR buy a new handle set, you MAY need a new valve depending on how long it's been going on or how stripped it is

>>732119371

You'll either need new handles or new spindles.

Maybe even both. Take the handles off, if they're fine, get new spindles.

And do it sooner rather than later because if your spindles fuck up you're just going to have running water going berserk.

>>732119165

Well fuck me, turns out I had a presaved greentext for that one.

> Be old man's friend.
> Be landscaper.
> Working for lady who is very attractive.
> Regular customer.
> Lady has not seemed too well over the last two to three weeks.
> Lady asks landscaper one day "Do you know much about plumbing?
> Landscaper says "I'm not an expert but my best mate is a plumber, so I've learned a few things over time"
> Lady says "Ok, my toilet's blocking up do you think you can check it out?"
> Landscaper says "I'll have a look".
> Landscaper checks toilet, def blocked.
> Attempts plunge with mop. No good.
> Checks other pipes, also blocked.
> "Looks like your entire sewer is blocked love, do you have one of those big cast iron grates in your back yard?"
> "Oh yes we do actually".
> Takes landscaper out back yard.
> Cast iron grate is poking out the ground, all vents blocked by shit and toilet paper.
> Lifts lid off to check blockage.
> Foetus flows to the surface.

Apparently she ran inside the house and he never heard from her again.

>>732119609
>>732119610

Thanks /b/ros

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Thanks for the stories op, good stuff. Im outta here. You really deserve this

>>732119529
>>732119633
That's fucked

What's the second nastiest place you've been to?

>>732119560

You're most welcome brave anon. Glad you're enjoying them. ;)

> Be me
> Be 7yo
> Cunt father is also plumber.
> Cunt father likes to take me on plumbing excursions as punishment.
> Doesn't matter what I've done wrong, I'm going to work.
> Be many years later
> Just realise Cunt father...
> A: Did not enjoy working alone.
> B: Did not really like me much.
> C: Enjoyed punishing me for the sake of punishing me.
> Bad report card? You're working for me.
> Say the wrong thing? You're working for me.
> Step out of line in some fucking imagined way that doesn't even make any sense? You're working for me.

But enough bitching.

Cont.

>>732119826
This

Have you ever poured lye down a fuck head customers drain to make there house smell like burning shit?

Worked on cast a while back with a wicked clog a snake wasn't doing shit, poured lye and fucking vomited from the smell.

> Back to me.
> Back to seven fucking years old.
> Back to having to work for my old man for some imagined sleight.
> Doing sewer job.
> Me too small to deal with drain snake.
> Have to wear stupid oversized gloves anyways.
> Old man keeps pulling cottonball after cottonball after cottonball out of sewer.
> Lady of the house pops her head out.
> "Is everything alright?"
> Be me.
> Pick up cottonball with oversized glove
> "I AM SEVEN YEARS OLD AND WHAT IS THIS???"
> Be lady.
> "Whooop!"
> Her head ducks back in the window as fast as you can imagine.
> Old man starts pissing himself laughing raucously.
> Be me.
> "What???.......WHAT???"
> "What the fuck do you think that is anon???"
> "I don't know? A cotton ball???"
> "It's what you call a 'white mouse' anon..."
> "It doesn't look like a mouse..."
> Invokes more laugher from the belly of the beast
> "What do you think a white mouse is anon?"
> ".........a white mouse....."
> ".......it's a tampon anon....."
> Drop tampon like it was leprosy.
> Throw gloves off like they are contaminated
> Lady pokes her head out the window again to check if it's safe.
> Be me.
> "SHIT!!! SHIT!!!! SHIIIIIIIIITTTT!!!!
> Lady pokes her head back in window with another "WHOOOP!!!"
> Old man is practically doubled over laughing by this stage.
> "SHIT!!! SHIT!!! SHIT!!!!
> "HAHAHAHAHA!!! NO ANON!!! TAMPON!!!"

It's kind of funny looking back. He's still a cunt though.

>>732119826

> Be me
> Be called into caravan sale place of all joints.
> Caravan sales place is owned by friend of my father.
> Caravan sales place guy is also a plumber, can't fix own problems? WTF?
> Get to front reception
> "Hi, I am Plum/b/anon, I am here to fix problem."
> "Ok plumbanon, go ahead..."
> ....you autistic bitch...
> "What is the problem?"
> Consult with about 5 different ladies in office
> Not one of them has a clue.
> Call the owner
> "Oh right, the toilet won't flush"
> "...Yeah, it's kinda been like that for about a month now..."
> MFW they couldn't figure out what problem a plumber could be coming to attend after a month of not being able to flush the toilet properly.

Cont.

>>732119984

> Check toilet.
> Clogged as fuck.
> Open inspection point at back.
> Overflows with murky sewer water.
> Herewefuckinggo.avi
> Pull out sewer machine.
> Set up sewer machine.
> Send sewer machine down line.
> End of the hook comes back fucking COVERED in tampons.
> Look around.
> Entire area covered in gravel.
> Nowhere to discreetly hide or bury tampons.
> Fuck it.
> Grab bucket, remove tampons, send hook down again.
> Blockage not moving.
> Retrieve more tampons.
> Some of them are still fresh and bloody.

Cont.

>>732120033

> Retrive more fucking tampons.
> About an hour passes, pulling out nothing but fucking tampons.
> Finally clear line.
> Flush with hose.
> Pack up gear.
> Walk into office.
> Ladies ask "What was problem?"
> "Sanitary napkins"
> Blankfuckingstares.winmov
> "Tampons..."
> It's like the choir all learned to sing at once.
> "Oh well it's not me!"
> "Oh it certainly isn't me!"
> "No, I'm too old!"
> Office space consisting of entirely 6 women.
> Poker face engaged.
> Good employee mode soon follows.
> "Oh yes of course!" *cringing internally*
> "Yeah, look it's obviously some customers who have come past and needed to use the toilet at some stage and have probably just you know, not had the right bin there etc..."
> Alpha of the dumb pipes up
> "BUT THE CUSTOMERS NEVER USE OUR TOILET!!!"
> All eyes on dumbus cunticus.
> Air freezes
> Literally 30 seconds of silence passes.
> "Oh, I mean... Yes! Yes that must be it!"
> Office motion goes back to normal, yet with red scowling faces.
Final tally of tampons.
Three quarters of a fucking bucket's worth...

But "It wasn't me..."

Bitches be liars.

>>732119921
Sorry to hear that you worked all as a child but if your up for another I'm down to read

>>732120067
As if we needed MORE reasons to keep women out of workplaces

>>732119910

No but thanks for the tip, might give that a shot.

I did hear a story quite some time ago though which I thought was an interesting one.

> Be little old Armenian guy.
> Be owner operator of own business.
> Working for rich cunt who owns great big property on a great big block of land.
> Doing all sorts of work for rich cunt.
> Rich cunt owes him thousands upon thousands of dollars.
> When Armenanon attempts to collect, rich cunt refuses to pay.
> Armenanon cannot afford to take him to court.
> Rich cunt still refuses to pay and tells him to fuck off. Not much left that one can do.

cont.

>>732117742
not op but you can always run chemicals to clean your pipes through them

>>732120067
Amazing

>>732119921
Kek. That reminds me of a job i did at the sewer plant/treatment plant. Fixing the scrapers for these big pool of shit that scrapes along the bottom to get stuff that might sink to the bottom of the pit of shit. Anyways doing repairs on this thing and their are all these fucking string on it, and im like what the fuck is all the strings from, took me about 20mins to realise the are tampon strings.....

>>732117199
What's the theworst thing you had to unclog

>>732120246

> Fast forward to christmas time.
> Armenanon rocks up out of the blue at rich cunt's house with a six pack of beer.
> Be rich cunt
> "What the fuck do you want???"
> Be Armenanon
> "In my country, it is tradition to not hold on to any bad feelings for the new year. So I have come to enjoy these beers with you so we can put our past behind us"
> Rich cunt agrees, because the thought of not having to pay Armenanon and not facing any repercussions seems like a good idea to him.
> So they both go out the back and enjoy beers.
> Once the beer is finished, Armenanon asks "Do you mind if I use your toilet?"
> "No worries."
> Armenanon walks into toilet.
> Takes a piss
> Reaches into pocket.
> Throws in a handful of a certain substance (yes I know what it is, no I'm not telling you)
> Then washes his hands and leaves.

Cont.

I bought a new place, and the water leaks through the wall whenever I switch the bathtub from the bath spout to the shower head. I'm assuming since it doesn't leak when it's just the bathspout running, the leak is between the spout and the showerhead. About how much am I looking at to fix it?

>>732120436

This old lady had this toilet that just kept filling up and filling up, to the point where she just stopped flushing it because it kept overflowing, so it was a toilet bowl literally FULL of shit, over the top of the brim.

Had to clear the drain then literally scrape the lot out in order to be able to flush it.

>>732120612

You're looking at breaking out tiles, cutting out the wall, replacing the part, then replastering the wall and retiling.

You're up for a bit, unless you decide to turn to youtube and attempt to learn how to do it for yourself.

Finding replacement tiles is the hard part.

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>>732120623

>>732120495

> Armenanon is a smart bastard.
> Armenanon obviously lived in a country where septic tanks were common.
> Armenanon was also aware of rich cunt's property having a septic tank.
> Armenanon walked away with his hands clean.
> Fast forward several months.
> What Armenanon had put down the drain is a type of substance that creates a reaction to certain bacterias inside the septic tank.
> This causes certain types of a foam type "growth" that hardens and expands over time.
> Over time rich cunt's septic tank started blocking up.
> He'd pay to get it pumped, only to have it block up again after a couple of months.
> He had to have it pumped a number of times in fact, as the time between blockages was getting slower and slower.
> His pipes started getting the growths.
> He was paying plumbers to clear it.
> Eventually the septic tank filled.
> He could not get it cleared.
> It even got so bad it split from the pressure of this growth.
> Rich cunt was effectively fucked.
> Rich cunt had to pay to have a new pit dug, a new septic tank put in, and have ALL his plumbing lines replaced in order to get rid of the infection that was clogging them.

And the whole fucking time, because it was months after the little christmas visit, rich cunt was never aware that it was all old mate Armenanon who had cost him this fucking fortune the whole fucking time.

Salutes to old mate Armenanon.

>>732120612
Depends, if it's the plastic liner shit that runs around the walls, not too much. If it's tiled, add 3 hours of demo.

At the very least, you'll need a new valve, pipe, drywall/Hardy backer and tile/plastic bullshit. It's a good day to 3 days of work plus materials.

Consider it a good time to remodel. Refinishing bathrooms and kitchens adds the most value to a house. New floors add value too but to a lesser scale of cost vs returns
>Everyone likes a nice place to shit and eat
>Not OP but I've been doing just those things for the past 3-4 years, it's worth it.

>>732120931
>>732120495

fucking kek, never fuck with the guy that gets fixed your shit

This thread is gold

>>732121118

Yes indeed.

Let me tell you a little story about my old mate the captain.

> Be the captain.
> Working for big real estate tycoon.
> Owed 14k in money.
> Keeps chasing tycoon for money
> "Nah, look sorry captain, i'm out of cash, can't help you right now.
> No worries, chat later.
> Every time he phones, same story.
> Fast forward a few months.
> The captain drives past the tycoon's house and notices it's being renovated.
> Phones him up, "You got that money yet?"
> Nah mate, I'm dirt poor, can't afford anything right now.
> No worries mate, I'll call you in a month.
> Waits until renovation is finished.
> Walks into house late one night with buckets of quick dry cement.
> Pours down every drain, puts in water and gas pipes.
> Goes home.
> Phones tycoon next day
> "How you doing mate?"
> "OH DON'T EVEN FUCKING ASK ME THAT THERE'S PROBLEMS LEFT RIGHT AND CENTRE, EVERYTHING'S FUCKING UP, IT'S...
> The captain listens to him rant and rave and carry on for quite some time.
> Once guy finishes ranting, The Captain asks him "So... have you got that money yet mate?
> Dead silence from the other end of line.
> Penny has dropped.
> voice drops to low growl.
> I'll have it in your account by tomorrow.
One does not fuck with The Captain.

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Thinking about DIY or giving up and ringing a plumber, but my mixer (pic related) has been leaking for fucking ages and I've had enough. Water drips from the actual faucet bit and water seeps out from the base.

The hell do I do?

>>732121525

Buy a new one and change it over yourself.

You'll need a pair of tube spanners to sort out the nut at the back but they're pretty easy mate. Youtube is your friend.

Reward with tits.

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>>732121649
Cheers man.
Here's some boobs for your trouble.

>>732121798

Get the fuck out of my thread.

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Brilliant thread. You deserve these Plum/b/anon.

> And you're a fucking good cunt Aussie to boot

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>>732121798
he asked for tits

>>732121900

Thanks Brave Anon.

And as the great and glorious nation of Australia decrees, your glorious tits have come with a checked 00 to symbolise their tittacular glory.

Last one before i shoot through boys.

>Be me
>Be fresh out of apprenticeship.
>Be working for small business.
>One day boss sends me to car auctions place.
>"Ok boss, will go to car auctions place, wat do?"
>"Just need you to meet a guy there to pump out a septic tank"
>All I know about septic tanks is what I've learned in trade school.
>This means I know exactly two things.
>1. They exist.
>2. They apparently are the worst smelling fucking things known to mankind.
>"But boss, I am le simple plumber, I know not what to do"
>"Don't worry about it anon, there is a guy with a truck and he'll be doing most the work, all you have to do is stand there.
>Get paid to do no work? Plumbers fuckin' dream!
>Travel to car auction site.
>Meet up with pump truck driver.
>We shall call pump truck driver "Pumpy".
>"Hello anon, my name is Pumpy"
>"G'day mate, I'll be fucking honest with you, I have no idea what I'm fucking doing"
>"No worries anon, all I need you to do is crack open the pit lid, and I'll take care of the rest.
>"That's all I have to do?"
>Alpha mode engaged.
>Get out pit lid lifting tool.
>Beat with fucking sledgehammer until it cracks open.
>Pumpy assists to drag lid out of way.
>MotherOfGod.jpg
>The smell.
>That fucking smell.
>It was like satan himself had eaten every combination of mexican, indian, greek and fucking italian food, and had forced it through his bowels with 10,000 serves of KFC.
>It was literally the pit of a thousand arseholes.

Cont.

>>732122118

>Pumpy loads up 200mm pump hose to truck, puts the bastard into gear and starts pumping.
>Reminder, this is at car auction yard.
>Near by are 10 blokes, 2 per car, washing down the cars in separate bays.
>Pumpy drops the hose down into the septic tank.
>For those who don't know septic tanks they are basically fetid liquid with a hard crust on top.
>Pumpy's hose breaks the crust.
>nomercy.hell
>The stench is unfathomable.
>Even my hardened olfactory senses are reeling at this fucking onslaught.
>Pumpy gives me knowing grin
>"Whew! She's fresh mate!"
>"You're not fuckin' jokin' Pumpy!"
>Pumpy revs up truck and starts pumping.
>Even over the sound of the truck, can hear our good mates the car washers complaining.
>Take subtle glances at them out the side of my eyes.
>Exaggerated covering of noses and waving of arms.
>Gets so excessive and exaggerated, have to walk past side of truck about 15 times to laugh my guts up at these fucking idiots suffering from that far away.
>Stomach hurting from laughter.
>Alpha breaks from the pack.
>Approaches me and pumpy.
>Poker face engaged.
>"You blokes gonna be long?"
>"Nah mate, not much longer".
>Pumping continues.
>Stench continues.

Story to continue.

>>732122146

>20 minutes into pumping.
>Mein alpha plum/b/er olfactory senses kick in and can no longer smell the pit of Rosie O'Donnell's lunchtime excretions.
>Carwashanons however, are visibly suffering.
>Work has slowed to a crawl.
>Members are now milling about each other.
>Visible protest is imminent.
>Keks are hearty.
>Alpha starts wandering over again.
>"Guuuuyyyyssss..... are you gonna be much longer?"
>"Nah mate, not much longer..."
>Alpha trudges back to crew.
>Can see him shaking his head.
>Dissent has filled the ranks.
>3 blokes throw up their hands and start shouting while walking away.
>Cannot hear over sound of truck by now, as got sick of noise and started wearing earmuffs.
>Alpha is trying to maintain control, shouting at carwashanons to keep working.
>Faces are showing frustration.
>Over the course of the next 20 minutes, 2 more carwashanons absolutely crack the shits and walk walk away.
>5 left.

Cont.

>>732122171

>Alpha desperately trying to wrangle control.
>1 carwashanon vomits violently.
>Vomitanon starts running away only stopping to bend over and wrench his guts inside out.
>Alpha is losing his fucking mind.
>Storms over.
>"ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO BE MUCH FUCKING LONGER????"
>"...whaaaaat???"
>Alpha knows I am wearing earmuffs. Tardbait engaged.
>"I FUCKING SAAAAID!!! AAARREEEE YYOOOOUUU GGOOOOIIIINGGG TOOOOO BEEEEE MMMUUUUCCCHH LLLOOOOOOONNNNNGGGEEEEERRRR?"
>Allplumbersarebastards.gif
>"Nah mate! We'll be done in a couple of hours!"
>Cheesygrin.fuckyou
>Primal rage triggered.
>"A COUPLE OF FUCKIN' ***HOURS***???
>Alpha physically storms back to remaining few dudes.
>Screams and gestures at them while walking away to sanctuary.
>Remaining carwashanons follow him, confused, dazed, holding shirts over nose.
>Pumpy just grins at me.
>"Righto mate, that's it!"
>Packs up truck hose.
>We put pit lid back in place.
>Shake hands and laugh like utter bastards.
>Fuck off into the sunset leaving whingey carwash bitches to their devices.

Did later find out that they had not in fact lost their jobs for leaving early, but had been severely told off by the CEO of the fucking company when he read the report stating the time they had left the job, and provided them with the receipt showing the time we left the job. Lel.

>>732122225
Good on ya

>>732122225
Is there any way for you to be able to explain the smell of this septic tanks contents? Like really detailed and disgusting. Asking for a friend

>>732122755
Pls (samefag)

For oppening a plumb is rigth or left?

>>732122225
hahaha

so, i usually just pour hot vinegar to clean my pipes, that's enough, right?
i never had issues but sometimes the washing machine's pipe stinks pretty bad.