Secrets Last thread ended too soon - We had some good ones:

>>731993856
It wasnt rp. im a real life edge lord im telling you lol. You have to understand, I NEED to do these things. I fucking need it. It was a good thread though. Did previous OP feel better about not loving his gf after some of the shit in that thread?

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>>731993856
Bamp

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>>731993856
Get in here boiiiis

my moms friend tried to fonger me in the back of my moms car

>>731994467
I dont get this image.

>>731994199
Probably. Threads like these help people to realize they either aren't alone or aren't as fucked up as the next guy.

Unless you're the most fucked up guy in the thread, but then at least you won something, right?

>>731994626
Certain therapeutic aspect to i believe. Simply to get things off ones chest. We've come to an age where you cant tell people the truth about most things anymore because everyone is so hardcore on board the PC train.

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>>731995127
This. I would love to be able to tell my friends half the shit I've done/want to do. So many PC principals out there.
"Oh you wouldn't take a black dick in the ass? How dare you not respect african american gay independent pride! I'd take ALL the dicks in my ass I could just to show my support (no homo bro, hahaamirite?)"

>>731995642
yep. there's no way I could tell my friends half the shit I'm into, let alone the fucked-up shit I've done and mistakes I've made in the past. The friendship could not survive that.

I respect people who're able to put everything out there, good and bad. But I'd have to start a new life for that, and it'd probably involve a prison sentence.

Cam chat blackmail guy reporting

>>731996037
haven't seen you for a while, how is the hobby going?

>>731993856
When I was 5 I did a 69 with a male cousin of my age.
When I was 8, I took a female cousin of mine with my fingers, she was 7.
Right now I'm a student and my parents don't know I'm bi, promiscuous and do a lot of drugs (I have good grades, tho).
I love ketamine and cocaine!
I met a two girls I used to fancy, they didn't like me back, so I fucked both their boyfriends up the ass.
I recently had a homosexual experience with a supposedly straight friend of mine. He's got two girlfriends, I know and ger along with both of them, but he's hot, tall and an absolute bearded jerk that I couldn't resist while being drunk.
I can't stop hitting on people just for the excitement despite of the fact I don't hook up with most of them.
While I mostly prefer women, I've had to get kinkier to cum while masturbating, which has led me to fantasize about my closest friends, being buttfucked by the tougher of them, taking lots of cum by any possible body hole and fuck a 14 yo girl who is the daughter of my house's owner.

>Big mac special sauce:

Helmans mayo
Thousand Island
Dill relish

>ur welcome

i spy on my family and friends smartphones looking for nudes, sadly they are as virgins as me or even more

I subleased a room in my apartment to a pretty hot little hippy chick. She was a dippy little stoner who spent all her free time hula hooping in the park, and she was a fuckin' terrible roommate who constantly made trouble for me. I couldn't stand her as a person, but she was hot. Since the hatred was mutual, there was nothin' happening between us at all. We just tried to stay out of each others' way, dig?

Near the end of her lease, tho, I redecorated the one shared bathroom. I added a new shelf, some decorative trays and cups, a little sculpture, and a clock. Looked nice. The clock had a hidden camera in it.

I never saved the files for long, but I spilled buckets watching this girl shower, shave, and change. The second she was gone, I got scared and chucked the clock camera. Was pretty cheap anyway, and I just didn't want to risk anybody ever figuring out what it really was.

I've never spied on anybody like that since, but it's tempting. I own a house now, and my fiancee has her girl friends over some times. Hell, a lot of my friends are women too. I've thought about remodeling the bathroom again, but this time doing it in a much more sneaky way. I want to mount some tall decorative mirrors made of one way glass along the wall and install a high def camera behind them. I probably won't, but the fantasy of it turns me on.

Anyway, that's the big secret. If she found out, I could have been arrested.

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>>731996139
You aren't special, in fact you're the dead center of normal (a slutty normal, which is the real normal). Gay/straight/bi is a sliding scale, not a black and white definition, and most people fall somewhere along the middle (in fact, to be all the way gay or all the way straight is to be an outlier)
You are just accepting what makes you hard and going with it. Most people deny this shit about themselves. Well done on you.

>>731996479
Oh well, thanks!

>>731996110
Well it was going well but got banned a few weeks back. Have to wait for the ban to run out.

>>731996139
So it's true that bisexuals are immoral degenerate mentally ill trash then? Were you molested? Maybe the younger experiences count.

>>731996644
not ideal. what did you do that earned a ban?

>>731996471
Tell the fiancee. If she doesn't say "fuck yes, let's do it" then she's not the one for you.

I've dated girls that would do that with me if I wanted. They're out there, just gotta find 'em. You really want someone that's going to line up with you in every which way if you're going to keep them long term. Don't settle, bro.

I felt my sister up a few times when we were younger and whenever we hang out now as adults all I can do is think about it and wonder if she hates me/thinks I'm disgusting/whatever.

I miss being a sociopathic asshole sometimes. I just used to love wrecking shit, stealing, and fucking with people. Over 30 now and I am completely different.

>>731996841

Defeats the purpose of it for tbh. I love watching when nobody thinks I am. I have sex with my girl whenever I want to, basically, but I'd still jerk off to her getting changed or taking a shower if she didn't know I was watching. As hot as it would be for me to catch her friends in there too, she'd be the one on stage 99% of the time.

Like I said, I'll probably never actually do it again, but I fantasize about it a bit. I think the risk outweighs the thrill for me on this one though.

>>731994626
It's not much of a secret, but I'm a worthless sack of shit who doesn't have the life skills to survive on his own, nor the desire to better myself whatsoever.
So I'm pretty sure everyone ITT is better than me.

i don't apply myself in life

>>731996841
I've hooked up with chicks that were into younger. Was a lot of fun.

A couple weeks ago I learned that my 13yo niece was starting to be sexually active so me and my gf helped her get on bc. Mainly just keeping it all secret from her jesusfag parents.

>>731996779
Was getting it on with some chick and I accidentally skipped her while my cock was out. Still have Skype and a few girls to fall back on

>>731996373
How do you do that

i apparently didn't tell the last woman that was attracted to me that I was married. thought she knew. had an anxiety attack at the thought of cheating..

she was wonderful about it. cuddled part of the night and gave me company. I tried to sleep in the same bed and got the shakes. finally calmed down and almost boned. but im a dumbass/shithead and couldnt do it.

ran away in the morning.
still chatting with her though its all so emotionally confusing

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>>731993856
i once got drunk af. went to for a walk, in the forest.
15 mins after, i found a dead fox.
take me, a guy who would kill a human for the life of any animal.
got near the dead fox, BAN
i just fucked a young male dead fox in the woods.
i think i have all the reasons to keep this a secret from many ''normal people''

bm,p

My wife jacked me off with the babysitter's face.

>>731998017
Having a conscience isn't a bad thing, m8. Either get a divorce or talk to your wife about an open relationship. There's no reason to and no benefit in what comes of cheating. Plus you'd be a real prick if you did it. Just be real with her and you'll get what you're looking for.

>>731998017
I got cheated on. Feels bad mon. Just leave, imo. I know it's hard, but you will feel more free in the long run. Let her down easy, mine was awful to me and it was pretty scarring for a while. Good luck mang.

>>731998716
That is literally my fetish.

Why is this a secret. Like, who from?

>>731999132
You want me to tell my mom? The girls youth group leader at church? The cops?

sometimes when my nephews stay at my place I let them shower with me and my gf

>>731999273
no, but I'd love a greentext

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>>731998078
>>731998078
Now THIS is what I started the thread for! "Young male dead fox in the woods" my sides

>>731994626
>>731995642
>>731996479
>>731996841
btw, forgot to "OP here" these. I think that's still a thing? Oldfag returning to this desolate wasetland that is now just traps and cucks, wtf?

>>731999273
Kinda, yeah. But I mean, I don't tell my mom whenever I get laid, but it's not really a secret that it happens.

Is that a secret or maybe just something you're glad happened?

>>731999397
that's fucking weird

why?

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Felt up my male cousin when we went to Disney World when we were younger. Spent a while panicking thinking he'd tell everybody, but nope, he hasn't said a word. (he was asleep one time, and another I kind of dry-humped him while we were on one of the rides pressed ass-to-crotch together)

Also I've stolen a bunch of shit from grocery stores, but that's between me and the guards who don't actually watch the footage tbh

i use beer to jackoff
take a drink, have beer saliva and use that as lubricant

dries everything out,,, but damn i like it

i have vaginismus and have never had vaginal sex or successfully masturbated. i've never had an orgasm. i've been pressured into anal sex and blowjobs and i hate my life.

>>731996139
What up Nick?

>>731999754
That sounds terrible, dude. Not even a finger?

>>731999754
Hi Bekah

>>731999470
because contrary to what conservative religion fags, especially their parents, want them to believe, nudity/sex/basic human anatomy is not an evil taboo sent from the devil. sheltering kids from reality is very detrimental to them later in life.

>>731999910
no dick no finger no anything

>>731999975
not her

>>731999754
>vaginismus
that fucks up penetration but orgasms should still be fine. what's the deal there?

>>732000033
What about clitoral stimulation? Like oral for oral or a vibe? I mean as far as having an orgasm goes, what have you tried?

I hope you meet someone that's understanding and not a shithead about sex. That sounds like some difficult stuff to work through, m8.

Ophere

>>731999421
I tell my mom... she offers advice about how I'm fucking up my life and to be careful. Keeps me grounded.

>>731999470
turns them on, me thinks. figured nieces would be more common than nephews though

>>731999542
grab me a twix

>>731999645
sounds almost as bad as using conditioner

>>731999754
tits or gtfo - and post this broken vag, /b/ will diagnose the cure

>>732000203
>>732000319
i was sexually abused when i was a kid, where normal people would feel stimulated i will only feel pain and panic

>>731999411
Checked. Digits demand.

>be me
>have wife
>date night fuck yeah
>get sitter
>go out
>fucking boring
>head back early
>baby sitter wants to chill
>whatevs call her mom say we're planning on staying late can she crash on the couch?
>everything is cool
>wife and I drinking
>wife pours her a glass
>we get wasted
>sitting on the couch
>wife crawls over and takes my dick out and starts sucking
>baby sitter crawls over and is sitting next to her babbling about some teenie bullshit
>wife pops my dick out of her mouth and offers it to babysitter
>babysitter grabs it and starts sucking
>gets into it
>wife grabs her by the back of the head and starts pound fucking my cock with the babysitters face

Wasn't the most boring night.

>>732000452
ah yep, that'd do it.

a lovely mix of psychological and physical issues to really fuck up your sex life.

Hope you find the right mix of drugs or whatever to get past the panic and cum occasionally, or discover model trains are even better than sex

>>731993856
i like to enter to camwhores and flirt with them knowing that im not going to fuck them

i do it every night i do it and never anything happened

>>731993856
I fucked my mom out of complete desperation once. I ruined our relationship.

>>732000688
you do realise they are getting paid to listen to your beta flirting right?

Ophere

>>732000452
Yah, is related to trauma a lot. It's an "all in your head" thing, as they say. I would go all tenacious D on that shit and fuck you slowly. Patience, acceptance, would probably take more than one night and a few different attempts. Also, talking about the trauma would probably help.

Greentext the abuse

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>>732000452
undank, bro. undank as heck.

I'll chug cheap beer in your name tonight, anon. It's the least I can do. But seriously, sorry to hear that. here's a picture of a cat and a pizza

>>732000750
yes
that's why its a secret, its so faggy but i have like a 0,01 % of hope

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>>732000869
and another picture of the cat and the pizza but closer now. I think kitty is curious abotu the pizza but maybe he's hungry and knows exactly what's up. who knows really? Not me, my friend

>Have hot cousin.
>Jerk off to facebook pics of her in a see-through shirt
>feel super uncomfortable about it
>Find out she's not blood related
>Her mom was adopted
>Now jerk it regularly to her knowing it's not instinctual

Feels good man

when i was 17 i took the v of my sister's 11yo best friend, then we were also fuck buddies for about a year after. My sis was the only other person who knew and she didnt find out until a couple months into it.

>>732000827
trust me that has been tried and with more times crying myself to sleep than i can take. i just focus on giving head but without ever feeling that feeling myself i don't know how i can keep getting myself motivated idk if that makes sense

>>732000869
>>732001002
thank you :3

>>732001095
Incestual*

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>>732001002
and because why not, here's a third picture of a different cat and a different pizza

idr why I named it champion

>>732001111
Quads checked

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>>732001155
It's incestuous, bud. close though

At about age 6 I was messing around with the neighbour girl.

When I was 13 to 19 I used my moms magic wand & butt plugs

she never knew

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>>732001311
since I'm dumping my cats eating pizza folder I might as well share a secret too.

I once masturbated with one of my moms dildos while babysitting. she came home early, so I threw it in my bag and made a b-line for the door. dumped the dildo(which was massive) behind some trees outside her neighborhood.

she knows. there's no way she doesn't know. hasn't ever brought it up tho. what a champ.

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Ophere

>>732001137
Had a gf that was raped, she was into rapeplay and liked being dom'd
Had a gf that was cheated on, was into being cheated on
Had a gf that peed herself a few times, was into pee play
Had a gf that was a "little" sure there was abuse there.

In my experience, the worst things girls have had happen to them..... become fantasies/fetishes. Big limb to go out on here, if you're a normie, but could always try roleplaying that shit. Won't get you over it completely, but may help you accept it a little better.

Girls that have had abuse often feel guilt over it, as if they think it was their fault or they deserved it. This doesn't make sense to most people, and they will quickly reject it, but the reasoning is often for partially enjoying or more importantly (depending on the age) THINKING they enjoyed it. If not this, then thinking "I should have said no, I should have stopped it" etc. Neither of these are things to feel guilty for, and you are not wrong for hating it just as much as you wouldn't be wrong for liking it, just the same as YOU are not "wrong" in any way as a result of what happened. Hope you find your "O" in there somewhere. Should still greentext that shit, you know, therapeutically.

>>732001095
Lol. So, you've made the line "imaginary" so you don't have to deal with it. She's your cousin. Blood or not, it's still wincestuous. Get over it, and fap like a man.

>In the 2nt grade
>friend of mine came over to my house he was a couple grades older
>Played around for an hour with some G.I. Joes he brought
>Wanted to show me "something special"
>went up into my tree house
>He pulled out his penis at me and asked me to touch it
>I told him to put it away or I'd tell my mom
>Erased the memory and continued as usual
>Was friends with him for another year or so

I didn't realize how fucked up it was until I suddenly remembered it just recently.

I never tip https://youtu.be/f_2XRZTuf0Y

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I regularly cheat on my military husband with Andy Sixx's logs of shit.

>pic related, it's me

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>>731993856

Ever since I jacked off to cp. I can't stop looking at kids and debating if they are attractive enough.

rip

>>731997229
pretty sure everyone here is pretty much just like that bud

>>732001890
your four examples are fantastic for those girls but i didn't develop a fetish around my dad getting me to jerk him off and trying to fuck me during shower times but yeah i guess i should just try harder

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>>732002253
srsly. if not in the obvious ways, it's brewing beneath the surface. we're all made of pretty much the same stuff, no matter how much we tell ourselves we're different deep down

>>731993856
I own the domain of my company's product.

I despise them and want to extort them.

>>731993856
I've been rather overweight most of my life. I recently cut soda from my diet. I'm eating less. I'm starting to have thoughts in my head telling me I'm not worth food. I should self harm for eating. I should purge after eating. Thoughts telling me I can't lose weight if I eat.

I've lost nearly 50lbs in the past 4mo, which isn't even impressive, but a good portion of that has been in the last month. I've gone through nearly a whole belt, and have reached the same weight I was in highschool.

It's amazing how I can feel so much better physically but still be so fucked up mentally. I was depressed through all of highschool. I ate a lot because it made me feel better.
In college I started eating less during the day, then binge at night. My metabolism slowed, and my diet was shit on top of that. I gained a lot of weight.
Due to my depression my girlfriend left me. Being that I was already depressed, that didn't help. I flunked out of college. I did nothing for nearly 6mo. My parents were threatening to kick me out. I got a job, so pay rent to my parents now.

I'm working on moving out, but my mental health is still.. lacking. I'm nowhere near as depressed as I was. I would even say I feel excellent by comparison. But I have a very unhealthy relationship with food right now.

>>732002343
Not to say we're all shitty people, but rather that we've all got the same fears and faults. they just look different because of experience and perspective.

It's all a grand illusion. Most everything you know and definitely everything you don't. Some people like that and others are driven mad by it. Me, I just try not to worry about what I can't control and try not to feel like I have to control what I can. I got a cat that eats pizza and that's my fetish. I'm happy.

>>732002527
be careful starving yourself can have a negative result on your mental state

>>732002635
my dog loves raisin bran

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>>732002315
Not "should", it was just a suggestion - one of many.
What you just did there is the logical fallacy of misinterpretation. It comes from a defensive standpoint, and as with all logical fallacies is used to support an argument that can't stand on its own.
Don't take your feelings out on those around you. I have done nothing but provide attention to your trauma (which you want, else you wouldn't have posted it), and attempted to provide insight into what has worked for others (simply trying to help). Your misinterpretation is curt and inaccurate.

Also, it needs more greentext.

>>732002430
too easily connected to you and your career. they could legally fuck you up, probably take the domain without paying much, and you'll have a permanent record of somebody who cant be trusted by the company.

if you want to extort them, you need to do it with shit that isn't really obviously connected to you.

>>732001137
maybe youve become asexual as a result

>>732002527
Get help. You need support mentally, which would hopefully boost your pull for weight loss.

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>>732002635
>>732002711
forgot pic of my actual cat actually eating an actual pizza.

also that's what's up. any pics of the bitch?

>>732002527
Good for you. No sugar and no dairy is half the work. Keep your mind focused on your end goal. Don't make food the enemy or it still has the same power over you as when you were overweight and you WILL slip backwards. Just make the goal more important than the food, that's all. Congratz, and stick w/ it man!

>>732002883
saved. thanks anon

>>732002753
I'm afraid you're right. It's listed as private, but I'm sure there'd be plenty of traces - especially with payment.

Fwiw, I wouldn't really call it a career - just one shit job between shit jobs.

>>731997457
One of my subjects is now a willing participant. No more tears which is not quite as horny for me now. But watching her violate herself with a hairbrush for me gets me diamonds

>>732002738
Are you autistic or something?

>>732002671
It's a shitty cycle. I feel better when I'm hungry. Noticeably higher self worth. Noticing that is terrible.
I've fixed a good portion of my diet. I eat far more fruit, less greasy bullshit and snacks. Light meals when I do eat. I'm actively fighting this because I'm aware that's now how people work.

>>732002824
I won't deny you that. I'm 22, now. I fell into depression around 18. I've nearly wormed my way out of that, but into different issues.
Based on how long this has been going on I think shit will work out in the end.
I have so much more energy than I used to, and that feels fucking excellent. I can go for a walk without feeling like I'm dying.
Again, you aren't wrong. It's very easy to lie to yourself that you're getting better/are fine. Feel happy for a moment? Shit, I was lying about the depression all along. I haven't purged, despite the thoughts. I don't plan to. I just need to stay strong.. More than anything is why I'm posting, I need to vent to someone. Or no one.

>>732002955
Thanks Anon. I am setting goals, now. Literally purchased a scale tonight to figure out where I am. My pants falling off my body doesn't tell me how much weight I've lost.

Where do you think you are?

I ate a whopper today, and i've been eating meat for the past week even though everyone thinks i'm still a vegetarian...

>>731993856
I tried to rape my maid/babysitter when I was a kid lel (around middle school or something? can't remember) Idk if she told on me though, but I think she complained to my mom a little, which kinda got my mom mad back then.

some greentexts:
>let's call maidbitch alison
>Jeanie and I alone in our house
>muh parents were out cuz nightcap
>I'd tell her hey can you help me find this thing i'm losing
>she'd bend over a couple of times looking underneath my desks and shit
>then i'd kinda like bone her through my shorts and rub my dick on her ass n stuff
>she gets annoyed, like really annoyed but doesn't complain
>masturbated and came in her bathroom once after she showered

oh, and I'd whip my dick out whenever she was walking around the house too (I only did this when my parents weren't around though, obviously).

>One time she was watching tv in the living room
>i'd go there carrying my laptop
>whip my dick and watch porn while she was there
>she gets up and leaves to the kitchen

lel looking back it was awkward af and nothing really escalated afterwards; I just stopped. One time I snuck in her room and masturbated to her panties too.

>>732003485
woops didn't proofread my shit lol, it's >*alison and I alone in our house

oh and i have a few more stories about the dark controversial tales of our family and shiz

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> be me, 14
> In IT one day
> generally twattish dude sitting a few spaces down
> I got bullied by this guy for 2 years
> while getting a piece of paper I see he has a notepad file up with all his login details
> lightbulb.jpg
> get his school login and his iCloud through my powers of autism and thirst for revenge
> I laugh to myself about what I may find
> I get home and look on his iCloud
> There are pictures the dude took getting fucked in the ass by basically bubba
> laugh my throat sore
> my idea is to get in class earlier go on his usual computer
Next day
> get in class feeling better than I had in months
> stroll up to the guys PC login as him
> go on his icloud and his Facebook he saved his Facebook details.
He was not smart
> make a post telling everyone what a faggot he was
> include pictures as proof
> post
> log out before class starts
> 10 mins later
> class starts
> noone notices a difference
> I 'arrive' 2 minutes late to stave off suspicion
> people start opening Facebook and stuff
> one of the most chatty girls say
OH MY GOD HE''S GAY
> Oscar level acting surprised and look at Facebook
> laughs internally
> twat runs out of class
> mfw whole class is laughing
> mfw he called me a fag as projection for being jackhammered by Bubba
> mfw he moves schools and deletes his facebook

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>>732003230
I am probably on the spectrum, you aren't the first person to ask me that. In fact, when I saw "The Accountant" with Ben Affleck, I cried because I related so hard it hurt. I was always taught to approach life, problems, and the world around me from an outside perspective. A third person perspective is devoid of emotional interference, and can examine things logically and determine a solution that is not clouded by poor judgement.

Still, I function very well, but I am VERY methodical. It is often interpreted as a "takes no bullshit" kind of attitude, but I never mean it in a hostile way. Conversation (words) are an inadequate means of communication, and we must wade through the mire to get to what people are really saying and what they really feel/mean. At the same time, conversation relies on structure and understanding that structure can at least improve its usefulness.

>>732003911
You're a fucking retard m8

>>732000496
dang that's bretty hot anon

bm

bi fag here, when i was in college(19-20yo) i had a secret relationship with a really cute 13yo boy. was by far better than the many relationships i have had with girls.

>>732003911
You are severely autistic.

Get an IT job, you'll do great.

>>732005065
Lol, I'm in software actually. And I'm absurdly good at it, even though I don't like it much anymore.

>>732002527
holy shit are you me, i feel like we have the same life

>>732005014
Nice, bruh, how'd that come about? (kek)

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>>732002984
forgot to post the grand finale. glad the threads still alive

It becomes me, as do all eventualities

>>731993856
I wish I didn't have my daughter. She is turning me into an alcoholic and her crying makes me want to off myself. I've never felt more sadness for no reason before. Every day is miserable. I am happy when she sleeps, when I drink, and when I sleep.

The worst part is I can't talk to anyone about it. Male postpartum depression isn't acceptable.

>>732005371
honestly its complicated and right now im too lazy/unsober to convey it. sry.

>>732002219
I fapped to cp a few times a few years ago and im afraid its gonna come back and bite me in the ass in a bad way. I know your feels anon

>>732003911
I relate. Funnily enough im going into IT as well.

Sometimes my lack of reaction to adversity in projects gets misunderstood as confidence, but I won't correct them.

I would pay so much money just to see things from an emotionally driven perspective, if only for a few days.

>>732005618
did u fuck him the arse tho?

>>732005530
where are you at? some countries definitely have support services for men going through that.

>>732002253
I'm assuming most of you can actually make goodnight for yourself. I've stopped being able to nuke anything but popcorn. I'm literally a slave to my whims.

When I say I lack the survival skills for the real world, I mean that in every sense.

>>732005719
of course

>>732005618
Aw. Man, I'm also pretty drunk (and cozy & ready for bed tbh) right now, so I understand, but glad you guys had a good time. Not a super LEGAL time, but like, still.

Maybe some other day you can post a greentext thread and talk about it

>>732005707
>my lack of reaction to adversity in projects gets misunderstood as confidence
yeah, my default is always just processing the data, asking questions, and then figuring out the solution. a calm guy goes down really, really well in IT.

>not the autist, just another anon in IT

>>732005530
first one? Ages?

>>732005775
The States. I've looked into it but the closest thing I've found so far is a "new family services" councillor that specialists in helping breastfeed.

>>732005925
First one, 2.5 mo.

>>732005955
and your age?

Wife wants me to put a baby in her.

>>731993856
>I steal from my friends and family daily to fuel my drug habit.
>I piss in bottles and glasses in my room rather than go to the toilet. I then empty them out my window, but now there's a pissy swamp outside.
>I clean my teeth about once a week. If I remember.
>I'd rather shit in the garden than do it in the house with people in.
>I actually enjoy browsing /b/.

>>732006048
26. We've been together for 7 years too so it's not like I knocked someone up randomly.

I'll be honest about it; having a newborn fucking sucks. I'm biased of course but the only joy I've received from this whole experience is the few times my daughter sees me and smiles a big goofy grin. I've heard it gets better and I believe it but fuck me its hard. Its the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Every single day is a struggle with her.

>>732002032
This may be the most fucked up thing Itt. For shame, Anon, you worthless bastard.

>>732005849
yeah ill definitely share another time. also he gave the best bjs, i loved sucking his dick also, much more fun than eating pussy. we were both uncut which was awesome.

>>731994607
The Arab man would like to masturbate to a video compilation of women's ankles. This is due to the prudish nature of Arab societies, and their control of women's bodies through rigidly enforced dress codes.

I lost my virginity to a cat.
I was like 12 years old.
I don't want to talk about it.

>>732006253

I have a 3.5 year old Only recently it stopped being awful, but dude, now it's BRILLIANT. I honestly don't know how I would cope without my boy.

Having a kid is a massive pain. Mental health needs sleep, and you can't get any anymore. It's all expenses, crises, problems, and shit. So much shit. All over everything, but mostly you.

It gets so much better man. Hang in there.

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>>732006434
>>732006434
>>732006434

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>>732006434
do you want to talk about it?

>>732005707
Date a woman who does.... and you will immediately recognize that your perspective is better. My long term gf was an emotional type, she was a bag of fucking crazy. She was never in control, always subject to her emotions and whims, and she was an absolute mess to live with. I thank my mother almost daily for making me a cold, calculating, autistic machine. Be thankful for what you are.

>>732005895
Yah, it has treated me well in software, for sure.


OP here, off to dinner. thanks for everything guys! See you in another secrets thread!

had a 12 gf when i was 25.

>>732006702
Thanks anon. Tonight has been hard but thank you. Baby is asleep for now. Unsure if I should wake her to feed in an hour or nah.

>>732006253
Thanks. We're 30 and been together 10 years. Just scary I guess and a permanent game changer.

Good luck anon.

>>732006434
oh holy shit don't tell me you're that guy who fucked a dead cat that keeps getting posted here

>>732006107
Which drug, anon?

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>>731995642
dat watermark

>>732006902
Speed and weed. Mostly.

>>732005805
>make goodnight for yourself.
*make any food for yourself.
Jesus, autocorrect. I need to spellcheck better. Well... At all, more often.

>>732006253
>>732006048
I have three kids, bros. Two of them were normal levels of crying baby, one got admitted to a specialist clinic and had her sleep sorted out by them. It does get easier as they get older.

Look into even normal shrinks - a good one will want to learn about you and your interesting (and rare) problem. Exercise more, and take the baby with you. The two things they recommend to women with PND are more exercise and more connections with your partner, so look into those.

>>732006808
No. Let sleeping babies sleep.

nothing special, just take creepshots. sometimes html edit their fb profile or conversations to say dirty stuff

>>731996471
One way mirrors are see through close up

I've had several girlfriends who were raped by their fathers and every time I had sex with them I thought of that fact.

>>732008105
I find it really hot to make a girl tell me about her abuse/molestation while I fuck her or make her do shit for me. especially if she's still kinda traumatised from it.

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Well surely I'll go to hell for this.

Picture sort of related.
Similar frame but different face.

I black mailed the work maid to have sex.
She is latina with a nice frame to her
It was all a fantasy until it actually happened.
I had made myself "friends" with her.

It was dispicable act in my part but i still get diamond thinking of the risk and rush of blackmail.

She even met my wife and two kids.

Her daughter was about to marry someone i worked with ( surely for papers to become legal) His dumb ass was madly in love with her.

I had gotten friendly with her daughter to the point she send me nudes...

I threatened the maid to show her boyfriend to be husband the pictures.....

She begged me not to....sure cried...
She wanted her daughter by her side in America.

My head was filled with rush of excitement....

Long story short.

I knew it would never happen if i let her go and think on it...
I was aggressive...
Very aggressive...
She didn't have time to think...
I shuved her in an empty office and took her work shirt off...she hesitated....i threaten her loudly while pulling her hair....

The excitement and rush was unparalleled....she became submissive...

I fucked her.
Hard and rough....

Don't know why i did this...
The risk it brought.....

I was scared she would tell someone and she didn't clean my office the next 2 week's......
She kept skipping it.

I find out she quit 3rd week moved back to her country....

Sounds fucked up...
But i was reliefed she left....

Anyhow...
Bunch of strangers know what happened...

>>732008421
who knows?

>>732008567
Meant to say bunch of strangers in /b now know

>>732008655
Bada.bum tss

>>732008655
oh well, I was thinking about immigrant laws in the US and maybe in the future, the US will open its borders and that lady might sue you for rape.

Cheat on my 50 yo milf with 20s cunts all the time.... Dunno how to let her go

I've had sex with my cousin. She was 18 at the time when it started, and I was the same age. Me and her got along a lot, and jokingly fought over the bed we slept in at our grandmother's place. But eventually I'd slide into bed with her. It started out kinda casual. Got to feel her up, and she let me. and slowly escalated. She told me she hated it, but she never stopped me unless I got too pushy. IT got to the point where we nearly got caught. I'd eat her out all the time and I could tell she loved it. She used to hold my head in place and wrap her legs around me. I've got her to orgasm more times than anyone else has I'm sure. She eventually moved in with me, and I knew she knew what I'd do. I fucked her every night I got the chance. The room smelled like sex all the time.

She doesn't talk to me anymore though. She blocked me on everything she could, she doesn't call, she avoids me now. I miss her. She was one of my closest family members and I think I ruined it with sex.

>>732002635
true words, anon

Cam chat fapper,

I'm a youth pastor. I've been walking with God for the past 5 years of my life. (I'm 23 now.) I've been dating this girl for the past 3 years and I'm pretty sure I want to marry her.(She's 21) But while I was going through chemotherapy for testicular cancer, we got into a lot of shit. We started snapping one another nudes (never screenshotted), whenever we made out she'd either grind on me or would rub my dick through my pants, I'd kiss and play with her breasts, all that shit that would be "normal" For a couple that wasn't "following God."

One night in particular we were chilling at her mom's house while she was in vacation. We were watching some movie and things got really heated really quickly. We both ended up in our underwear and were dry humping while making out. She asked if I was into butt stuff and I told her that I'd try anything once. So one thing led to another and I ended up fingering her ass. Never in my life have I heard her moan so passionately. She told me that's her biggest kink and I was hard as diamonds. She started jerking me off through my boxers so quickly at this point.

It's about 2am at this point, and I get a text saying that my Uber is here. We both completely forgot that I ordered one because I was told I can't drive while on chemo, and her car was in the shop. But as soon as I read that we both realized how far we've gone and both agreed not to talk about it again, and that we need to set physical boundaries.

I still think about that night a lot and it still gets me rock hard. I can't tell any of my friends, because I'm a youth pastor, and if anybody in the church found out we'd both get kicked out. So I guess we will have to actually wait for marriage for anything else to happen

>>732008855
HAHA BRITBONGZ

I'm a pathological liar and have been since as long as I can remember. My lies range from my cat got crushed by a car parking, family members dying or faking mental disorders to get money and housing from the state so that I can keep shitposting on 4chan.

>>732000705
greentext it, please

>>732010114
Jesus christ fuck your god. U got cancer and cant get your dick wet? Fuck me

>>732000452
I'm sorry to hear anon
Did you try going to a therapist?

I vape

I'm the manager of a vape shop

>>732006253
Male bonding with offsprings happens later. You'll love her to bits in a few years.
Power through anon, it'll be okay

Im the Most cynical Person i know and have problems makimg friends and keeping them.

My only friends who know about my problem and are not disturbed by it is a almost always drunk russian, a depressed 24/7 pc gaming german and a fat old dude who always asks me about pc stuff.
Im always nice to new people but for fucks sake its impossible for me to give compliments.
Its fucking hard for me to say ,,good job" or ,,well done".
I think its a problem from my childhood, my mother got divorced and nevet was happy with me. I was bad at school, didnt do shit and only played games. Funny thing is when she stopped caring thats when i suddenly became like the 2nd best of an 30ppl class in school and i suddenly had mote energy to do shit.

I was away for the weekend without the missus a couple weeks ago.

I'd had a few beers and the opportunity came to fuck some whores.

I ended up having a threesome with two pornstar hot whores, one tall blonde, one short dark haired. They had fake tits, tacky tattoos, heels, awesome bodies. All the slutty things I secretly wish my missus was like. They obviously knew how to work a cock, best blowjob I've ever had, much better than the rare one I get at home.

I loved every minute of it, and it's fulfilled one of my fantasies. It was money well spent but the missus would leave me if she knew. I'd probably do it again if the opportunity came up..

>>731999132
His kid kek

I go to electronic shows just to pick up rave sluts
>be me
>19
>6'7 average build
>rave slut asks if I can put her on my shoulders
>fuck it cuz she's 8/10, THICC as hell
>asks if I want any molly
>oh hell yeah
>middle of the crowd
>she starts grinding on me hard core
>I start fingering her and she's wet as fuck
>unzip my pants
>move her panties aside and do the thing
>she's getting really fucking into it
>she cums twice before I'm getting close
>ask her where she wants it
>"on my ass"
>nope.avi
>cum inside her
>she gets pissed but keeps grinding on me
>get a boner again because molly
>fuck her in the ass this time
>cum buckets because it's so tight
>and I've never been to that bar venue again

>>731995838
My bestfriend and girlfriend both know I'm into young girls.

>>732006315
Eating pussy is a fucking chore and your reward for doing it well is head crushing suffocation. God even if you're being throat fucked you get moments to breath! if I couldn't hold my breath for a minute and a half I would've been knocked out more then once by bitches. The worst part is I'm completely flaccid afterwards when they're ready to get fucked hard because I can't stay hard when I can't fucking breath!

>>732012347
Breathe through your nose, you imbecile

>>731996142
WOW HOLY SHIT MODS

>>731995642
That is sushi, not sashimi

>>732012534
fuck are you on about?

>>732010114
Is god willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him god?


God is dead in the land of free thought, gtfo

>>732012473
You must have a pretty long face if you can tongue fuck a pussy and still breath out your nose.

Cheat on my wife daily

>>732012582
Nigiri

I've been fucking whores for about 5 years.
I've never gotten laid without paying for it.

>>731999754
>Kelsey

My mom has a nice pussy.

A few years ago when I was 17 I got a good look at my mothers pussy she had just finished swimming and went to the bathroom to change and then came out in just a towel and sat on a chair with her legs up, I had no sexual attraction towards her at all but I was really surprised and turned on, for a 42 yo woman she did have a very sexy pussy.

>>732013889
After my experience the other week, I'm tempted to do it more. I've looked on AW and there are loads near me that seem hot. I just need to find a weekend when my missus is away.

>>732014362
I'm doing it later this evening with a cute blonde escort that's just my type. She's already confirmed that raw dog is on the table if we're both comfortable with each other after meeting. I can't wait to bust my nut inside of her.

>>731996471

Every guy fantasizes about doing stuff like that. But as a rule, I only commit crimes I'm not afraid of going to jail for. So weed, petty assault, etc are fine, but the combination of social and criminal price on this one are too high for me. Snapped a couple cell pics on unsuspecting gfs though.

I ripped the skin off the back of my leg and hid it in a drawer about 7 years ago, haven't opened the drawer yet

>>732012154
>get a boner again because molly
Literally how. I have a hard time even getting a bone once on molly, all that sorta shit shrinks my dick until it wears off lol.

>>732012932
Do you think anyone likes having a tongue in the pussy? That's fucking weird m8, maybe try eating pussy like every other person on the planet and aim for the clit

>>732010114

I'm so mad I read these paragraphs

A few months ago I found out my mum is a whore that cheats on my dad with a guy online. She'd asked me to sort something on her phone and to do so I had to reset a password. I reset it and asked for her email log in details and she gave them to me without thinking. On logging in there were loads of emails from one guy. I pretended not to notice but later on I logged back in to look.

Apparently my 65 year old mum likes to take photos of herself being a slut and sends them to a younger man. Loads of 50 shades of grey type shit.

I saved a few photos then deleted them as even I couldn't bring myself to knock one out to my mum. I tried to log on again the next day but she'd changed her password.

Apparently she's met up with him a couple times when she's told my dad she's been visiting friends.

I've thought about telling my dad but he's 74 and don't fancy ruining his life as he is oblivious and seems happy.

>>732015030

This is amazing. Get a picture right now.

>>732015030
If dubs, open it and show it to us

I return stuff to the GAP

>ALL
>THE
>TIME

>>731999397

That's not that weird if you aren't molesting them

>>732015944
She did nothing wrong, and kept her secrets hidden so who gives a fuck. You're an ungrateful shit for going through your mothers personal stuff, you're also a creepy fuck for saving the images in the first place.

>>731993856
lets hear about the dog fucker>?

>>731998716
I am now imagining that your wife skinned your babysitter's face, turned that into a glove, and gave you a handy with it.

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>>732012023
>the missus
what fucking retarded country do you come from m8

I'm really into beastiality and incest fetishes. I wouldn't never act out and do anything incestuous but I think about it all the time. One of my biggest fantasies is to have a son and raise him to share his mother with me. Would be dope af to spit roast his mom and high 5 him. Then let the family dog go to town... I'm a sick fuck and I know this but hey, at least I haven't acted any of it out.

>>732016894
Fantasies are not illegal
>Can't be convicted of thought crime

>>732006253
Drop the alcohol, like yesterday. Things will only get worse if you keep drinking.

Taking care of a newborn is loads of work. As depend and small as they are, they do notice when the parents are stressed. Cuddle her.