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/b/ lurker here to pay my dues. I'm an avid psychoanalyst

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 94
Thread images: 6

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/b/ lurker here to pay my dues. I'm an avid psychoanalyst and I'm convinced everyone on this board is a cuck, so give me your scenario and I'll psychoanalyze you
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I post on 4chan.
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>>731764083
>psychoanalyst
Might as well call yourself a psychic, get the fuck out of here with your pseudoscience.
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>>731764083
Many pussies in the world, so little time to fuck them all, what do?
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>>731764135
Sometimes I do as well.
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>>731764175
Stephen curry my ass
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aend sho on

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0c2LjKdqqw
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>>731764175
>psuedoscience
Get on the train my dude, its actually real
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>>731764083
freud or jung?
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>>731764370
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Sometimes I like to spice things up in the bedroom by letting someone more attractive and with a bigger dick than me, rail my wife.
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>>731764467
neither - both care too much about penises, its all about the signifier (lacan)
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>>731764083

First, OP, give your definition of a cuck. It's not be the weapon it used to be. Instead it's just an empty slam for lazy people who don't care to make a point, but want to also put themselves on a pedestal. I always thought that was a liberal tactic, but it turns out conservatives are brain-dead narcissists too.
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>>731764515
your father was abusive
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>>731764470
my advisor who spent the better part of a decade reading Marx at The New School for his doctorate is convinced Zizek is a baffoon. i think he may be right.
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>>731764553
It means you want to impede your own success, i.e. desiring failure
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>>731764083
Scenario? Like what? How we're living?
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>>731764083
Sound like a shit tier unlicensed youth center Pleb
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>>731764612
zizek is actually theoretically a neanderthal, todd mcgowan and good old lacan are doing things right
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>>731764638
tell something that's wrong with your life and I'll tell you why its like that
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Why do you think psychoanalysis isn't bullshit, though?

And isn't such a thing easier to fake than say just about anything?

I'm magick.

The longer this thread goes the less 'certain' you will be that I am not a Warlock, after all.

It begins.
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>>731764685
i don't have the time or taste for lacan. i'll stick with political economy
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>>731764629
Oh, ok. I can buy that. I was gonna say I don't really get off on my partner rejecting me for somebody else just because I like dick in my ass.
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Well yea... but they usually kept the bedroom door shut.

I still don't know what my mum used to get up to all day out there by herself.
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>>731764629

That sounds like every creative person ever.

I guess architects, great novelists, great philosophers, and all of the great creators of this world are all less than us shitposters. Feels good to be me.
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>>731764083
>give me your scenario

Bitch, you're going to have to be more specific than that.
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>>731764896
Defo cuck.
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>>731764748
Freud was actually insane imo

This french dude named Lacan came up with linguistic psychoanalysis which studies how language and our perception of the world filters our interactions and influences our decision making. He's pretty legit and his theories make sense.

Anything is easy to fake my dude, I think that when I apply it to your experience and it makes sense you'll believe me.
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I took a crash course in psychoanalysis, and now I like to watch my wife get fucked by other men. What do?
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>>731764803
bataille cucks incoming
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>>731764083
What is your definition of a 'cuck'?
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Well. What's wrong with my life is the fact that I've never been in a relationship with someone. Mind analyzing that?
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>>731764083
I identify as bisexual though I doubt I would ever fuck a guy. 27 yo male who lives off of disability and rarely talks to anyone but my mom. I live by myself. I over eat and am obese. I have a micro penis and masterbate 7+ times a day. I mostly watch tv and go on 4chan alld day. Im on anti depressants and anti psychotics. Diagnosed deppressed and schizoaffective. I smoked weed all through high school and graduated early from and independent studies. Most people who i considered friends just kept me around to mock me and laugh at what an idiot i am.
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>>731765102

100% cuck
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>>731764893
Everyone is like that imo, he people that break through their self-imposed failure are those who realize they *enjoy* their own failure
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>>731764896
Tell me about something that's happening to you and I'll explain it
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>>731765018
Suck own dick
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>>731764612
anyone who wastes to long on Marx is not to be taken seriously - particularly given the benefit of lots of 'practical' history.

Not to mention Marx's Orthodox Jewish upbringing and community deeply affected his respect for dissent, and for disagreement. His utopia presupposes an elite class, imposing its will on its victims while claiming to be vital to their existence. The Marxist cries out in pain as he has you struck.
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>>731765219

Well, right now some faggot on 4chan is trying to tell me he knows more about my life than I do.
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>>731765016
Lacan seems like he took a lot from Wittgenstein.
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>>731765102
The problem with most people is that they identify the object of desire (i.e gf) and pursue it until they fail, then move on to another object (i.e vidya or a diff grill). This constant process of bait-and-switching is what locks people in a cycle of self-deprivation. Step 1 is self-improvement: acne? talk to a dermatologist, fat? hit the gym, dumb? study up. Step 3 is confidence: keep at it even if you fail.

The difference between this and whatever you've tried in the past is that you need to recognize that FAILURE itself is integral to existence, so rather than use inevitable failure as an excuse to move on, you need to find enjoyment from it.
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>>731765129
>>731765514
see this - you also need to be open with your psychiatrist with all of your problems

pain = improvement
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>>731765291

only an orthodox marxist is perhaps not to be taken seriously. and even then, is likely worth more than a hardcore postmodernist. time spent reading and thinking with marx is not a waste.
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>>731765311
Go throat punch him
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>>731765356
Somewhat - I think Lacan really starts to branch off when he attempts to structure thought and individuals rather than broader structures
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I self-sabotage myself, alot.
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>>731765659
the in-between is where its at

historical materialism is useful but the pomo fucks really figured out why everything is so fucked
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>>731765757
Start enjoying it
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>>731765129


Write down top five things that make you unhappy, top five that would make you happy. Every day, your homework is to achieve some goal that reduces each of the top 5 unhappy, then do it for the happy. Also try to start doing moderate aerobic followed by moderate weightlifting. avoid sugar and bread.

That's magick.

3 months, youre a different guy. even the microcock you may learn to stop being ashamed off.

increase the exercise over time, get a check up first.
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>>731765803
they did? do tell.
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>>731764083
lmao "avid psychoanalyst."
more like: i have no degree its just a hobby and i probably dont even understand it all that well i just regurgitate exactly what ive read from furiously googling
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>>731765918
Baudrillard really figured out media systems in my opinion and Virilio has logistical systems down to a T. There's a few other who aren't as prominent but very smart.
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>>731766027
inb4 im in college and work with a published psychoanalyst regularly
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>>731766057
i've not read any Baudrillard but a good friend of mine has very recently begun using him in his work. i'll ask him about it.
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I'm a good looking guy who's in shape, I go to school and have a full time job, I get along well with others and I have no problem socializing, but why am I having a hard time finding a girlfriend or even just getting laid?
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>>731766027
This
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>>731766152
thank you for confirming.
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>>731766160
i definitely recommend checking him out, he's sort of a hack who overstates things a lot but his work is very thought provoking
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>>731766242
;)
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>>731765830
11/10 analysis work.
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>>731764083
I fuck my wife and her friends. Am I a cuck?
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>>731766227
Do you have a problem opening or closing? Do you get close and then bitch out?

Lets say you're interested in a grill, what's your plan of action? That's usually where people fuck themselves over.
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>>731766314


B===D~~~
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>>731766334
Welcome to alpha land
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Just saw what you define as a cuck and I thought you meant literally as in you all want other men to fuck your bitches. Well you may have a point as I've always been pretty prone to self sabotage but I've been working on fixing that.
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>>731765659

No, but too much time with him rots the brain.

Dogmatic Idealism is a helluva drug.

Do you still need a few moments to control your emotions, maintain the character's voice, when someone seems to be looking to see what's under the mask of 'control?'

a few good texts on 20th century history will tell you more about Marxist 'praxis' in this Timeline than reading Marx ever could.

Dum dee dum.
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>>731766606
The key is recognizing that failure is intrinsic to existence, to a certain degree people ENJOY failure. So what you need to do is learn to enjoy the process of working to your goals rather than achieving them, because what inevitably happens when you reach a milestone you've been working towards is that you become dissatisfied. Learning to enjoy the process rather than the end helps prevent that dissatisfaction.
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Wife suppoaed to be home a half hour ago and she just texted me to to say good night and to not wait up
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>>731766788
Spot on advice there. I've been thinking much the same thing and got the same ideas from a book called The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck by Mark Manson. I should read it again while I'm going through this process. Right now the number one goal is just staying off the booze as that has been my biggest downfall for the last 10 years. So far so good though. It also helps that I don't have a bitch right now. I found that just added to the battle. Trying to fix your life while having a crazy nagging cunt screwing with your head at every turn doesn't help.
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>>731767082
Call her
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>>731766424
I guess you can say a little bit of both sometimes in terms of opening and closing, sometimes both situations go well. Sadly I don't really think of a plan of action I just try and go for it
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I'm an avid clinical neuropsych. Who has questions about this quack's answers?
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>>731767099
Don't forclose the chance to have a good grill dude. Just raise your standards for a while. If you find a good bitch who's there because she cares for you things will be easier, you just have to try to not be baiting by a cunt
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>>731767242
Kek.
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>>731767272
I hear you. The way I see it I need to get myself together for a good while to be able to be in a position to find a decent one. Also I have to take responsibility as well because all women shit test to some extent. It's about how you handle it and with my current struggles in life I'm just not strong enough to deal with that shit right now.
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>>731764083
I fucked someones wife and ruined their marriage. I'm pretty sure that makes me the inverse of a cuck.
Also eat shit fag
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>>731764809
Kek'd
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>>731767170
Here's the thing - you need to think about what you're going to before you do it. The whole "just wing it" attitude means that you don't REALLY care about what happens.

If you really want to get laid or get a gf, you need to think about how you're going to get in that puss.

I think that if you start thinking about what you should do it'll help. Also ask girls you know for advice, they love giving other people advice about other girls, and it's usually pretty good.
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>>731767446
10/10 stay good brother, godspeed
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>>731764083
I'm 36, back in school (partied too much and dropped out the first time) and I'm making great grades but I just don't see myself ever being happy despite being on my way to a highly useful degree. I'll never make enough money to fill the void in my soul and ever since I quit drinking I don't relate to anyone or feel empathy at all so I feel certain I'll die alone. How do I end this nightmare?
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>>731765514
not the same anon, but is a great advice, particullary in this moment when im avoiding to do mi master tesis.
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>>731767660
You have to try everything my dude. I'm serious, EVERYTHING. Find an activity you enjoy, try sports, clubs (since you're in school), get out there and meet people. You need to throw everything at a wall and see what sticks, once you find that you're on the right path.
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>>731769326
I'm too depressed to try these things and also don't have a lot of time because I also work.
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>>731769569
You need to force yourself into it my man, work out your schedule so that you know when you'll have free time and plan something to fill it in.

If you're actually depressed you should see a psychiatrist about meds or a psychologist, once you get out there, I'm sure you'll find something to keep you going.
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>>731769569
>>731769926
See both a psychiatrist and a psychologist and sign a release of information so they can talk to each other. It's really important to come at things from a psychological and biochemical approach, because just one or the other is usually not enough. Of course it will take motivation; if you don't wanna get better you just won't, but if you're tired and you really want to try to make your life good, you can do it.
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I have a question. Does seeing a psychiatrist actually help people? It seams to me like it just gets them to open up old wounds, pour salt in them and repeat while taking higher and higher doses of zombie pills.
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>>731770069
Thanks /b/ro I'll keep it in mind. Any pointers on finding a good one?
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>>731770560
Usually the best approach is to see a psychiatrist AND a psychologist. It's different for everyone, you should try to find someone who cares
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>>731770585
That depends totally on how you feel about it, tbh you should ask some people you know about their experiences with it and try a different one if the first doesn't work out.

Find someone who cares about helping you is the best advice I can give.
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>>731771179
>Find someone who cares about helping you is the best advice I can give.
I guess this is what I meant. How do I find one who cares vs one who will just farm all of my issues for continued shekels?
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>>731770585
Well, I live in Mass, so there's a pretty comprehensive healthcare system here, and I dunno if this works for other states/countries - that said - I went to the website of my insurance provider and searched for doctors of psychology in my area. Psychologists are the tough ones to find, psychiatrists easy bc they are basically just medication prescribers who will listen to what's going on and how you're responding in the context of what drugs would be good for you. I would try and stay same gender (it's just easier instinctually to confide/trust in people who aren't your SO that way), and try to look for doctors who specialize in whatever it is you think is most relevant. If it's depression alone, that will give you the least hard of a time, but if there's more, don't disregard it. But yeah, basically just get in contact with your insurance company either through their website or over the phone and search/ask for a list of psychological health providers near you.
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>>731770585
also this >>731770069 one is me, this >>731771179
one is not. This >>731771502 one is also me. anonymous posting makes it hard to keep track
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>>731771502
Will anyone at my work know that I'd been using a shrink, since they provide my insurance? Obviously they wouldn't know details but would they even be aware that I'd gone?
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>>731772074
I don't think so, unless you have to talk to someone from your own company to find a doctor, but even then I'm sure it would be pretty illegal. Mental health is just like internal medicine, they can't disclose anything without your consent. Hence, the release forms if you want your psychologist and psychiatrist to talk to each other- which you should, that's best for long term treatment.
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