Okay /b/ I'm considering killing myself, but I'm stuck

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>>731661189
Don't eat for as long as you can, drink 2 bottles of vodka

>>731661189
Why do you care about making a mess? You'd be fucking dead and nothing would matter anymore.

>>731661189
overdoes on lots of drugs

>>731661189
Just breath helium till you die. Your body acts as if it's oxygen until you just kinda stop living

>>731661189
Can I ask why it's gotten to this point?
If that's really what you wanna do, whatever, but depending on the situation I feel like weighing out some variables can be important as well

>>731661657
It might not matter to ME, but SOMEONE would have to deal with the mess, and I feel it would be rude to do that to someone.

>>731662612
Helium you fuck. An exitbag. Not stop the thread and do it

you realise it will be messy in some way at least. if your such a pussy you will probably shit yourself

a bottle of aspirin. two is certain.

Why do you wanna kill yourself, anon?

>>731662704
>probably
You realize he's dying right?

>>731661189
Guess what OP, any way will be messy for anyone involved. Even if your method of killing yourself isn't immediately mess causative, when you're in the verge of dying you will more than likely piss and shit yourself. Try to OD on pills you'll probably vomit before dying, same with alcohol poisoning. Hang yourself and you leave someone with trying to cut you down and looking at your bloated head the entire time. Drown in a body of water and someone will be left finding your bloated, stinking body on a shore somewhere. Unless you can shoot yourself out of orbit, someone will find your corpse and have a terrible time. If you're so concerned about not inconveniencing anyone, don't kill yourself. Finding a dead body is pretty shitty, no matter how little "mess" there is associated with it.

Hang yourself

>>731662819
Shitty idea

wear a diaper

>>731662750
This

>>731662900
How?

>>731662949
well you've obviously never hung yourself so you wouldn't understand.

kill
self

>>731662949
>wheelchair life
It's easy to fuck up trying to hang yourself

get some estrogen
>killing yoruself before you try it
noob

The easiest way is not to do it, it really will be all ok eventually. Find happiness in the small things that you would miss. I'm sorry you're wanting to die.

>>731662816
Deep camping in Alaska. Suicide by bears. Problem solved

helium

>>731662704
There is shitting your pants messy, and then there is painting the walls red with your brain messy.

>>731663142
Retard doesn't listen

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>>731661189

Self Immolation. As long as you use a proper accelerant it fries the nerve endings before they can even feel what happens, which is why so many people can just sit or stand around unbothered while it happens. And cleanup is so easy it can be done with a broom.

Where are you at OP?

>>731663054
lol what im assuming you did?

>>731663235
Do bad you die from smoke inhalation. That shit sucks too

>>731663262
naturally ...

I used to be like you OP. Hell there are still days that have me thinking the same way you are right now. Eat, take a walk, find something little to enjoy, take some time for yourself and say fuck it to everything and everyone for an hour or two, it helps.

>>731663262
He easily could have. Hanging is one of the worse methods

helium is a terrible way to go. it causes suffocation. the internet will tell you that growing crystal in your kitchen sink or using helium for kys is a easy good idea.

it's not. helium death is the same as drowning. the intarwebz will tell u ur brain is asleep before u choke out, but the brain stays alive for seven minutes after the body dies.

so enjoy feeling seven minutes of suffocation, and then making a mess because you couldn't be a man and get eaten by a bear or wolf.

kys and the government will formaldehyde injection u and rot u in a metal box. totally environmentally friendly dude.

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I feel bad about you. Wanna talk about it?
Remember that suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem, and there's always better solutions.

Find something that you love to do, a new hobby, help other people, do volunteer jobs, you name it. But take a time to get your mind busy and feel useful to somebody who need it.
Things will eventually get better.

But, well, here it goes.

Where are you at OP?

You can email me at [email protected]
If you would like to talk.

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buy a specific hooker.
pic related.

I want to kill myself because Im dropping out of college i have social anxiety and psychosis

>>731663437
Dumbass. Suffocation panic comes from co2 in the lungs. Helium takes that spot so you do suffocate but without the panic and pain of drowning or something

Where are you at OP?

You can email me at [email protected]
If you would like to talk..

>>731663437
Wolf doesn't sound like bad idea, I think there are still some in Oregon, I know there are bears.

Medicine diddily ding dong drugs, said the boy? What are you, i am aware of the noodly-navy seal is in my class, i went to the 300 people that more attacks, he scorinoes again, participated in a noodly-numberoo of al-qaeda! United statesies military training of the gorilla i was a sniperoo. You just diddily ding dong do noodly-not diddily ding dong do anything for me. He had to riddly-remind me, i noodly-neveroo would have seen had cursed the accuracy of this world. That you have to think if you're me, you're talking about it on the internet? Then, she said, to speak, because i curse is monitorinoing the storinom was approaching warm intellectual property riddly-rights, the united statesies secret spy noodly-networinok is riddly-ready. We are a little sad that you call life diddily ding dong during breaks. You're diddily ding dong dead son. I, ever, anywhere you are a hundred diddily ding dong different ways to diddly, you can use your own hands. He noodly-not only in a war without weapons, the united states a wide riddly-range of training in the us marine corps am full use of hands to put a break on your diddly i stools to take this opporinotunity in orderoo to poorino little diddily ding dong dog noodly-now , it is. Once you have to riddly-reduce the award, it is a "standard" may be able to have sexual comments, you have a language of their diddly. But noodly-now, if you can be silly, doodley-does noodly-not pay it. He was angry, and sat diddily ding dong down. Diddily ding dong dead child's curse.

>>731661189
Sit in a car with exhaust going into car

>>731663523
Do it if you really want to. Idk why people act like suicide is so bad.

>>731663262
i stopped after i shot cum everywhere

>>731663631
Also one of the worst methods

eat eleven m&ms.


eleven.

say "wowzy"
do a happy dance for five seconds
shift your weight from your left foot to your right foot on the tips of your toes
use your hands to spread your ass cheeks
this is the best method.
The End

Die with meaning. Get this war cracking somehow..

stick a bottle up your ass and break it

Hunt down a Rothschild or Soros and take him with you

>>731664440
That'll fix it all. Lol, dippy

join the blue whale society

>>731664224
>>731664440
I could get on board on this. Anyone want to fly me to South Korea with some firearms?

Who said it would you cuck. It's worth more than nothing.

>>731663611
OP could go to Florida, plenty of hungry alligators around to drag him off into a swamp and leave nothing for anyone to find.

Step one: move to Australia
Step two: wait for something to kill you
expect to wait up to 23 hours.

a bottle of aspirin in under an hour will kill you

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>>731664411
Triple dubs commands it!

Go on a journey by foot to a mountain and climb it. If you get there and still want to kill yourself, then get rid of your rations, drink a bottle of vodka and jump off a ledge. You won't want to, though. About 2 days into your journey you'll realize that you just needed a break from it all and to get out and do something. Then maybe you'll find the motivation to get your shit together.

try to catch hiv by raping everything you can rape. Just fuck everyone against their will until you've contracted the disease. Then continue to rape until you're dead so the next suicidal rapist won't have to wait as long to catch HIV. pass it forward anon, leave the world a better place.

>>731665205
Hikes are gay.
Rape for diseases, that's what alphas do to end themselves rightly.

Step 1: melt wax into it's liquid form using a double boiler
Step 2: slowly mix in saw dust
Step 3: pour into mold and let cool and solidify
Step 4: put it in your but
Step 5: ????
Step 6: profit

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If you aren't willing to die a violent, painful death, then you don't really mean it.
I really like cultures with honorable suicide rituals. By stigmatizing painless suicide, you get rid of all the pansies doing it for attention or because their life got hard for a few months.

helium
in your butt

>>731661189
Seppuku
in your butt

>>731665948
preach lad preach

rat poison pellets
in your butt

>>731666059
plug it

let your car run all night but divert the exhaust so that it goes
in your butt

>Hanging
>Shoot self in lake/swamp
>Japanese barrel seppuku (sit in a large oil barrel with your ass to the far end, legs and arms pointing out so you can't escape once in)
>360 off a building (or kys in abandoneded building?)
>heavy sleep meds, fall asleep by a good amount of black mold and chloroform

I don't know you, but I love you, anon, and you shouldn't actually kys. Either way, I hope you find peace.

>>731662612
If you still care what someone does after you die, you have no business killing yourself. Stick around kiddo.

go back in time and prevent yourself from being born by raping your father and making him sit to pee.

only cook your tendies for 15 secs

sit on a cake

>>731661189
please don't, anon.
I tried to kill myself a little over a month ago and pussied out in the end (I was also a little bitch who can't stand pain).
I've been where you are, all you need is someone to help you through it.

ask a woman that's breast feeding her child what time it is after smoking an abundance of meth.

>>731666863
No one can really help someone who's dead set on killing them self. Good luck though OP

Don't kys op, even a life with only anime and games is worth living, I've doing for so many years I can't remember, I'm 25 and didn't even gave my first kiss, and even a person like me can me happy
Also consider that depression and wanting to suicide is something you will eventually superate.

If I could revive every person that suicided they all would tell me they regreted doing it at the last second

>>731663523
/b/ro, your not alone on that, I'm right there with ya, dropped out, worked a boring job for a few years, then went back and finished.

My brother never went back and he's doing even better than me.

I know it feels like shit ATM, parents can put a lot of stress on ya, but I promise they would rather have you around, than not.

We only get one shot at this, please don't end your early.

>>731661189

You're a liar, you're not gonna kill yourself, you just want the love and attention from anons. Just fucking throw yourself from bridge or under a train, no more excuses faggot, I have high expectations from you

She died?

Stage 1: Listen to depressing music

Stage 2: Wake up at odd hours of the night to listen to your play list of depressing music. Never have more than three hours of continuous sleep.

Stage 3: after seven days of your new sleep cycle, watch at least one horror movie during one of your many points of waking up in the middle of the night. Be sure to listen to your favorite depressing song before going back to sleep for no more than three hours.

Stage 4: continue behavior changes but now break association with anyone that doesn't support suicide. anyone offering help should be completely ignored and muted.

Stage 5: make a small cut in yourself once a night while listening to your favorite depressing song but after the horror movie.

Stage 6: Listen to your favorite depressing song on repeat and do not sleep again. Allow yourself to cut as much as you want while listening to your song and let yourself become a blue whale.

>>731667795
She was clueless. There might have been another too.

>"instructions"
>ignore

>>731668294
Right.

>>731667838
I'm not doing this dumb shit.

Seriously fuck off and watch anime it's way better than death.

>>731667838
OP asked for a suicide without mess and you write a list of instructions for being a faggot.

do it deep in the woods, animals will eat you and clean it up

>>731668383
I am.

>>731668554
mine b/ro,
>>731663483
is a list of instructions of how to be a faggot.

>>731668434
Sure. Let her die.

>>731662731
Not true - too much aspirin and you vomit it up and too little and it doesn't do really anything besides cure your headache. Need to find the magic number

>>731668706 No.

>>731668554
Yes.

Dont do it get therapy instead
But just so you know apple seeds contain low amounts of cyanide

>>731668653
make a thread later to let us know how it goes. I'd like to know what this does to someone in a week.

>>731668596
Foods?

>27
>28 in 4 days
>Worked at a gas station for 4 years
>Virgin
>Obese
>No friends
>Depressed

I'll probably kill myself before 30

>>731661189
I'm dying of stomach cancer, I wish I could live a few years more, and you are going to kys for some stupid reason?
DON'T FUCKING DO IT YOU FUCKING AUTISTIC FAGGOT

>>731668737
Faithful.

>>731668855
Yes anon, but you have triple dubs, so you can't feel OP's pain.

OP will never have tripple dubs.

>>731668749
Read the first responses.

Don't let any of these 12 year old fucks, who still browse /b/ even thought it's shit, have any say on anything you do to yourself. I haven't been on this board in years, but I did tonight for some reason and you're the second thread I read.

Look, shit gets rough. Life isn't easy, but you have no idea what the future holds in store for you. You could make huge ripples in society one day. Don't deprive the world from what you have to offer and don't let the world deprive you from all it has to offer.

Try something new: Go to a different country, pick up a white water sport, go rock climbing, take a pottery class, go to a music festival, join a kickball league, the list goes on and on. There are so many things to live for, do something that makes life worth living. Who knows, someone may really need you some day. It's so surprising how much one person can impact so much.

Don't deprive us of you.

>>inb4 /b/ has never been good.

You

>>731668755
I agree

Don't. It's seriously not worth it.

>>731661189

If you kill yourself you'll never see:

Konosuba S3
Half Life 3
SSTO transport
First human on mars
Pajeets getting toilets
Completion of The Wall
Sex Robots
Hiroyuki confessing he was w.t. snacks all along

>>731668805
>banned

>>731668974
listen to 12 year old fucks and do what you were going to do anyway.

don't put salt in your eye.

>>731668855
Lol, yeah. "Suicide."
Ugh, how orgasmically evil~...

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This board....

>I think we should all do it if we are typing this shit.

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Think about it, there are some things worth to live for

If you didn't play half life 1 play black mesa

>>731668878
people who kill themselves are suffering from something else man, what if someone gave you shit for having stomach cancer? never assume you understand what someone else is dealing with

>>731669296
>jealous of that phone omg

Doesn't want to make a mess yet wants to cost somebody the funeral bills and move your dead ass. grow the fuck up.

>>731669458
Yeah. Like, white blood cells for example.
You know, for derpatron infinity over there.

>>731663253
Like he is gonna give you his coordinates

>>731669617
Should probably find a pig or a gator.

>>731669688
>um, I volunteer as bait... before I die of old age~.

>>731661189
Don't dawg...suicide sucks visit that suicide subreddit where ppl help you out on such situations...

>>731669494
99% of the times that something else can be fixed, cancer can't most of the tiems

>>731669850
>bender

Finished?

>>731669890
Yeah if you're in the right mind, suicide happens when your logic fails you, it's being utterly lost and you can't think your way out of it, can happen to anyone regardless of how smart you think you are.

>>731668855
Your life sucks but literally not a single one of those problems can't be fixed. Why not fucking try at least?

I really don't feel like waking up to this inevitability in the morning.

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>>731669073
>Konosuba S3

Oh, good point.

What happens while I sleep?

>>731670789
"Ugh, finally. She's gone~."
Let's watch people again.

>>731668855
I'm a virgin and I'm gonna be 25 in 4 days too Anon, I'm just finishing college this semester. Also morbidly obese.

I've thought about killing myself this year too, but I'm not going to because I haven't even gotten to live my life the way I want to yet. I have spent the past 7 years trying to get my bachelors degree and I'm finally going to get it. With school out of the way I literally feel like I can start paving my own way, finally...

There's nothing stopping you from doing what you want to do, only yourself. Especially if you're an American.

We got this /b/ro>>731668855
>>731668855

Has anyone eaten a human before?
If so, does it taste any different than the meats people normally eat?

Also, now that I've pointed that out; how does it feel to know the "difference?"

>>731671355
How do we know what fast food places sell?