We have a 27 year old mixer, my Gma got it in 1990, so it's

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Of everything you could possibly find on 4chan in all of its entirety...this thread made me go ( ._.) hmm...what if blenders can feel?

>>731496490
Yes exactly. How can one assume anything...
I won't even take down a spiderweb unless I know it's abandoned. How can I murder this innocent hard working blender?

accidentally knock it off the counter to insure it is done for

>>731496943
Rape it until it stops working, then burn it.

Just like you would a hooker.

>>731497962
That's still murder. And i don't think that'd kill it.

>>731498059
Rape and murder? Omfg you animal.

>>731496218
Personally id go wit the viking funeral

>>731498307
It's respectable. I'll snap it's neck before hand maybe.

>>731496218
Give him a vikings death,
Create the thickest mix of shit you can find, only the gods could mix.
let him go out in a blaze of glory fighting with odin's spirit inside of him.
Then when slain create his great ark and send him home, to Valhalla

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Pass it down in your family. Treat it like a holy artifact. Take family photos with it. Then when the world ends and restarts your decendants will find it and worship it along with the rest of the tribe. Being the decendants of the ones who owned they will become the rulers of their tribe.

>>731498390
Brick powder and epoxy sounds good.

>>731498530
The only thing about that is that the family line will end with me. I'm the only one and I'm never having children. So maybe it should be burnt with my body when I die.

>>731496218

You want to hold on to that old machine, it'll outlive the new piece of garbage. Theyre not made to last

>>731499016
Yes that is the case but you can't hold on forever.and I mean it'll last forever but the design and efficiency of it is not good.

>>731496218
>my Gma got it in 1990, so it's older than me
FUCK, I'M OLD!

>>731498869
Hmm... well in that case ask for a viking funeral when you die and take it with you. Unless you really just want to see it go up in flames personally.

>>731499223
I kinda wanted to be buried without a casket, unembalmed, naked, in just a dirt hole in a forest somewhere. Maybe it would enjoy the same. Idk. Can't ask it. Maybe I'll do some bibliomancy and try to communicate with it.

>>731496218
Why get a new mixer if it still runs? Abandoning an old friend after all they've done for you? Shame, anon.

>>731499578
That might be best, anon. You should try your best to get it's opinion. I mean if I wanted to have a viking funeral and all my family did was cremate me, I'd be pretty angry. I'd probably haunt them. I don't know if mixers can haunt but I wouldn't want to take the chance if I can avoid it.

>>731500595
Okay I'll try a few methods of divining and see if i can contact it. Bibliomancy, tarot, orb scrying, automatic writing, and you know what, fire scrying might be most effective considering were talking about Viking funerals...I'll try it, I'll do fire photography and I will post results and we can look into it together.

>>731496218
Stick in a cupboard for now and be glad you still have it when your cheaply made modern one dies within 2-3 years.

>>731501010
Do I look like I run a dead blender storage?

>>731498869
"When i die just stick that mixer in my hands, all these years on earth, it was my only friend"

>>731499087
>design and efficiency of it is not good.
Who fucking cares man? Are you running that thing all day long that you need to worry about how efficient it is?
It sounds like you want to buy a new one just to impress your shitty friends or neighbors or whatever.
If it works fine, then stop wasting money on dumb shit.

>>731496218
Lol yeah burn a 3 decades old working piece of technology. That's a good idea.

>>731501248
Nigger the new blender was 60 dollars and its only a few months old, is a KitchenAid artisan. And actually I do a lot of cooking, and I beat egg whites for a meringue yesterday and the old blender literally took 15 minutes to do it and I had to spin the bowl by hand the whole time so excuse me fore wanting a lil more efficiency.

>>731496218
Why replace a something that works, im sure the ones made today wont last 20+ years

>>731501541
You must not have read ANY of my posts.

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Your longtime family friend is being replaced by an older, sexier model? Dang OP your family is cold.

Put it in the casual encounters section of craigslist.

>>731501420
>new blender was 60 dollars ... is a KitchenAid artisan.
Bullshit. You didnt buy a kitchenaid for 60 bucks unless you got a stolen one from a nigger after you sucked him off first.
Why dont you give that shit to someone who cannot afford to get one rather than just tossing more of you shit in the land fill. But hey...keep consuming man. Spend that money!!!

>>731501667
Ok don't believe it that's fine. And I'm not throwing anything into a landfill...did you not read any of the posts? Cool.

>>731500985
What if we find out it wants to go out with something involving electricity. Any ideas for that? Electric fence maybe?

>>731502161
Hmm. Connect it to battery, blow it into the sky.

>>731502244
Ah, yes, would be quite the spectacle.

hi OP.
when my percolating coffee maker was replaced
I played outlawed tunes on outlawed pipes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CuQSt3c25k

it still brings a tear to my eye and goosebumps to mine skin.

>>731502341
I love James Horner. Thank you for bringing me this appropriate tune in our time of need. This is perfect and I will definitely be playing it at time of dispatch.

>>731502508
there are far far too many to suggest to you OP
but i found that the band
Wardruna helped me get through my times of sorrow when replacing my Zenith floor model TV
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Wardruna

>>731502864
Oh my condolences for your loss. Man this is nice music. Thank you.

>>731496218
Sheesh how old are you kids on here these days. Up until last year I had a fucking microwave almost twice as old as that that still worked.

>>731503179
Yeah well a microwave from 1912 is a quality machine. This 30 yr old mixer is less reliable than that but more reliable than the new shit. It's built to fail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But more efficient.

>>731503179
Can relate, my dad still has this microwave from the 80s and it still works,
o
i remember it from my childhood

>>731503363
the new mixer will prolly fail before the old one does

>>731503454
Yes I am well aware of this face.

>>731497962
>insure

>>731503590
Lmaooo I should INSURE the old one so when it dies it can be replaced.

>>731496218
I hope you and Kayla enjoying the New Mixer, N.
Hope the wedding was Great.

>>731496218
Did you buy a new mixer because your woman thought it was necessary? Asking because you said "we" though I'm suspecting it was "her" decision.

>>731496218
1. Attach fleshlight to mixing part
2. Insert cock
3. Profit

>>731503708
wat

>>731503806
OP here, I am a femanon and I live with 3 family members. Was my grandma that decided to get the new one.

>>731503817
I would if I had a dick, I swear.

>>731503915
> attach dildo instead
> possibly profit?

>>731504242
The mixer might end up being a permanent fixture in my bedroom. My sexual partner is a mixer. Hmmm.

>>731503888
Welp. I wouldn't throw out the mixer right away. You may be able to still use it for other more heavy duty uses, or simply as a backup. Or you could gift it to someone. Then again I'm a hoarder who sees value in trash so w/e.

>>731496218
Unless you do something stupid like polluting the sea with a large chunk of metal and plastic, that old mixer is probably going to outlive your new one.

They used to make them sturdy as fuck. Now it's expected that you'll switch it out every 10 years.

>>731504604
Lol thanks for that honesty. Anyways itll probably be around for a bit, we will decide later. I will probably clean it up nice and post it for sale for cheap, maybe someone will be able to use it.ADOPT IT

>>731496218
Togtfo

>>731504697
Now there's a solution I could agree with. I like the viking idea but if you have to wait for it's natural death it will take another 20 years. Maybe someone else can give it a second life. Eventually it will end up dismantled by children in some 3rd world country anyway, that's the modern way.

>>731504967
I'm still gonna do some fire photography and see if I can communicate with the mixer...Lol tonight I will post some pictures of that so be on the lookout for the return of mixerfag

>>731496218
Mix explosives with it

>>731505115
reee

>>731505253
Ill make napalm with it.

>>731496218

Is that a spiral mixer?

I will buy it from you. No jokes at all. How much do you want?

>>731505402
Nah, it isn't. :P

>>731505529

Sure as hell looks like one.

Why u troll me? Trying to not make some money?

...

>>731505664
I mean I'll take 5 dollars from you but it is not a spiral mixer so i dunno. Youd have to come pick it up, I live in North Carolina. Lol.