I have court in 5 hours /b/ any advice? For a white collar criminal?

>>731470988
when you go to jail and people ask why youre there just say "im a white collar criminal"

it's a great idea. one guy did it on that 60 days in show and they made him the pod boss.

>>731470988
do you have a lawyer?

>>731470988
Whip your dick out to show your dominance before the judge.

>>731471063
Its segragated in england dude. Im pretty sure white collar crimes have a seperated prison/wing

Nice try though

>>731471076
Noppee, defending myself

>>731470988
Post moar pics of court building!

>>731471198
>nope
ur fucked

>>731470988
What are the charges?

>>731471159
so you go into solitary even if you just didnt pay your taxes?

youre probably going in with people who got in bar brawls and put someone in the hospital.

>>731471114
You know what? Its crazy, but it just might work!

>>731471249
This, pretty much.

>>731471269
Tax evasion. Non payment of fines. Nothing too bad but I have multiple accounts fraud

>>731471430
are you retarded or just a sociopath?

Usually I am very calm an not phased by threats from the government. But the fact they have taken my case straight to magistrates court. Means its highly likely I will be made an example of.

>>731471492
Diagnised as have paraniod schizophrenia. So the second one

>>731471591
Just get a lawyer and they could probably swing that to get you off basically any crime

>>731471680
Im in court in 4 hours 40 mins haha

>>731471591
dont represent yourself then.

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>>731471198

>>731471680
I am using depression and not being in the right state of mind as my case. But its weather they jury buy it.

>>731471755
I have no other choice. Or ill get a council representative... But they are the guys taking me to court. So i stand more of a chance defending myself

>>731471738
Just tell the public defense lawyer to get you a continuation due to lack of lawyer.

>>731471992
Not sure it works like that in England

>>731471953
no you dont, youre just being paranoid.

>>731471992
this is honestly your best bet at not going to prison for tax evasion.

>>731470988

In the case of NWA versus Anon the prosecuting attorneys are Ice Cube, MC Rene, and Ez Motherfucking E. Ice Cube feel free to take the stand and tell the jury about this fucked up incident.

>aight so, this dude anon he aint payin his taxes. I gotta pay muh taxes why dis nigga dont?

>>731471953
If you have the funds, why not just hire a solicitor?

If not, I understand.

>>731472044
Is this your first appearance?

It's how it works in Canada so I'd imagine it's similar there. There's not a jury on the first day. You go before the judge for them to explain your offenses and after that is when the actual trial begins.
You can ask the public defender for a continuation which gives you extra time to acquire a lawyer.

>>731472145
Also you have to get the public defender to make a deal with the crown defense for the continuation so make sure you let the public defender know of your condition as the reason you're seeking the continuation.

>>731471755
This. You can't win. Either you present yourself well in court, thus killing your whole argument, or you look like a fool and fail to defend yourself.

>>731472135
I dont have the funds. Im broke nigga. Or I would pay my taxes.

>>731472081
If it helps people get off murder charges then I'm sure OP can say he was paranoid that the numbers would conspire to kill him if they represented the truth.

>>731472227
This. This is my point exactly. This is why i am so stressed out

>>731472229
Fine Ok - although many people have avoided paying taxes when they're not broke.

Doesn't legal aid exist here in the UK anymore?

>>731472229
what kind of white collar criminal can't pay their taxes? what the hell do you spend your money on?

>>731472360
Citizens advice? Haha where I live you are better off getting a cat to represent you. I went in and they didnt want to know, they drew up a form with my ingoings and outgoings on. And sent me on my way.

>>731472298
Then gtfo of /b/ and get a lawyer. Right now. If you use that defense, you need to have someone else present it for you.

>>731472469
What do most spend it on? Drugs. Alcohol. And shit i dont need.

Also you got to understand. I am not an interation fraudster. I just change my adress constantly to avoid paying taxes and national insurance. Got a few loans out and went off the grid. Its not like i have thousands.

Also, pay your taxes and go on the electoral role=caught

>>731472635
No time or funds. I didnt realise the severity of the situation until about 3 hours ago.

>>731472360
>not researching defence options fully.

Nothing to do with citizen's advice. They're a charity.

Legal aid is an official state fund for people in hardship.

https://www.gov.uk/legal-aid/overview

>>731472759

Meant to be reply to: >>731472471

>>731472636
Ok I've now lost what little respect I had for you.

You're fucked.

>>731472703
Well at least you'll have a really long time to sit and contemplate that poor decision.

>>731472809
Just read up on it. Wish i had taken the case more seriously earlier and tried to get this

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>>731470988
Just be polite. You will probably get a suspended sentence if it's your first offense.

>>731473003
Gummy droopy-eyed lady has spoken.

>>731472873
I was made homeless at 15 and had nowhere to live. Moved into a hostel until 18 then was thrown out into the worl with no knowledge of what to do, half an education and no money.
I used what was available to me at the time to live. Now 6/7 years later, i am paying for it.
I dont need your respect. But there are reasons why i did what i did

>>731473003
So what does this mean?

>>731473142
Suspended sentence is jail time put on hold. Might have to go to probation or do community service. Refer to the judge as your honor. If you have commited no past crimes act like you're shitting it a bit. Be polite, dress smart and tell them the experience has left you shaken and that you feel remorse and regret.

>>731473343
Also if you commit any other crimes during the suspended sentence you get locked up.

>>731473343
Okay cool. Thanks dude. Ill see what happens.

>>731470988
Are you from Liverpool or just using the crown court?

>>731471198
Retard.

>>731473398
Never too late for legal aid too. Get in touch with a nearby solicitor and ask if they can help.

>>731473427
From liverpool

bring a gun with you. if you get caught they just take it until you leave again but if you can get it through security they will reduce your sentence for showing vulnerabilities within their system

>>731473066
No you don't need my respect, but I need to have some for you to continue trying to offer advice.

Sorry for your shitty start in life though. I hope the court case goes as well as it can.

>>731471953
Are you serious.

>>731471953
>So i stand more of a chance defending myself


no you don't

>>731473830
Second this but good luck

>>731471198
wow thats pretty hardcore. your pretty cool man

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>>731471217
This is now a Brutalism thread

>>731473963
No it's not. Lots of people defend themselves.
It's not like tv courtroom dramas when you pace around using clever cross-questioning and addressing the jury directly.

It's more like 'I didn't organise my defence properly so I'll awkwardly stand still and answer questions succinctly and hope this is over soon.'

>>731471430
I'm a fellow Scouser.

Just tell them you're acting under Magna Carta Articla 61.

It's all pseudo-legal mumbo jumbo but people get away with this shit quoting these things.

>>731473963
If you use you nigger eyes. You will see its because i cant afford a lawyer

>>731471842
>But its weather they jury buy it.
A jury at magistrates' court?

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>>731474087
Hot

>>731474157
Oh nice didnt think many scouser would be on here.

Ill give it a go.

Nice one fella. If you are ever about the swan pub on wood street, look for a guy in a leather biker cut with sykes tattooed on his hand. Ill buy you a pint ;)

>>731474173
Is that not a thing? I dont know. I dont usually make a thing of getting caught

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>>731474244
Triggered and thanks for that (you)

>>731474362
It's right. You won't have a jury in a magistrates.

>>731474157
>>731473427
Same guy?

>>731473343
>Refer to the judge as your honor
No, magistrates are referred to as 'Sir' or 'Madam'.

>>731473491
At least if you're guilty I'll be seeing you in the Echo soon

>>731474682
Not geez? Damn

>>731474765
For tax? Doubt it

>>731474362
You don't have to be a criminal to have a basic understanding of your country's legal system.

>>731474920
Whoops. Sorry.

>>731474811
I wouldn't doubt how shit the Echo is lad, good luck with the case anyway - if your story is as true as you've said here I'd say you at least have a decent chance of just having to go on a course or some shit

>>731475097
Yeah man. 100%
Nice one fella