sex stories thread, I'll start: >be me at 17 >in

>>731291037
meant to say my name starts with P, fuck.

>>731291037
is your name paulina

I feel like its just paul

>my name starts with paul

retard

>>731291165
dumb shit

>>731291179
Maybe it's Paulie. Or Paulson, as in Robert.

>>731291206
>>731291179
how do I delete threads I don't want those faggots finding out I post here

>>731291037
Using my 1337 haxor skills, I know everything about you. You're fucked now, PAUL.

>>731291037
His name is Paul, son.

>>731291425
Too late, they already know. I've contacted the cyber police, you dun goofed.

>>731291037
Why did you rape her Paul?

>>731291037
"I flinch and turn around to see people recording us on their phones"

so , is there a video? are you going to show us or what?

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>>731291037
I have a story
>doggystyle with gf on couch
>all of a sudden I fart
>she laughs
>I laugh
>I keep fucking her and came

>>731291816
same thing happened with me except i kicked her in the teeth. Bitch laughed at me

>>731291644
I never did you retard
>>731291662
why would I show you, you retard. shit ruined the rest of my teen life

>>731291037
>have to leave highschool because she somehow convinced the school that I raped her
If she already convinced your school why didn't you just rape her afterwards

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poo poo paul

>>731291926

ow , cmon , it wasnt that bad
at least u ate some ass :)

>>731291959
kek

>>731291959
>>731291037
you haven't considered that did you?

>>731291037
shit i think we were in the same HS

>>731291037
PUAL PUAL PUAL IM TELLING YOUR MOOOOOOM

>>731292299

interesting
which HS is that?

>>731292479
idk i just lied to fuck with you

>>731291037
Background:
> Be me, 26 yrs old, never even kissed a girl
> However, I've sucked off guys and been sucked off, because it's easy and I'm lonely
> Give up on relationships and dissolve into a world of drugs, shitty television, and reading about the occult
> Actually in pretty good shape due to a couple years of weight lifting (b/c I was a weeaboo and watched a boxing anime) and losing weight on a low-carb diet
> But I look pretty spooky, dress weird, a little fucked in the head due to a drug overdose and lack of human interaction
> Make decent money in IT

> Saturday morning, wake up
> Knock on door
> Neighbor girl apparently, asks for a cigarette
> Give her a clove
> Learn later that she was suicidal and wanted me to kill her
> Ended up sitting on opposite ends of the couch watching animu
> Two days later I lose my virginity
> I was terrible at it

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>>731291037
hello, fellow Paul

>>731291037
Hey Anons stop picking on Poo Poo Paul.

>>731292851
Did you marry her?

>happens
>gets bullied in hs
>has to leave hs
>tells it on b
>gets bullied
>has to leave /b/

>>731293606

Yep

>>731293779
im proud of you anon.

You are ahead of your time paul.

>>731293779

I should add: she's no longer suicidal, went back to school, has a more healthy relationship with her family, dresses more conservatively and stopped wearing makeup, and helps me keep a budget + keeps getting me fatter by making home-made cookies and pies and bread and chili and stuff

>>731293961
Congrats Anon.

>>731293961
Im happy for you anon.

>>731293961
sounds like a fantasy, but congrats anon

>>731291037
HAHA paul you retard

>>731294177

Get yourself a Mormon girl with daddy issues anon

>first date met the girl on Yik Yak
>made camp fire on the beach of the local river
>fucked her on my sisters down blanket
>came all over it and put it back where i found it
>saw her friend using it a week later
10/10

>>731293961
you having kids?

>>731294320

No, but we are not using birth control either, so unless one of us is infertile, it is probably a matter of time.

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>be me, 17 at the time
>close friend of mine has lots of guy issues. She is a definite qt 3.14 with a nice set of boobs and a moderately okay butt
>Talks about her boyfriend and how he's off at basic all the time and can't be around
>Catch onto the clue b/c I'm not a fucking idiot (at least here I wasn't)
>"Haha yeah man that sucks, I bet your sex life has pretty much gone out the window"
>"Yeah no kidding"
>MFW
>She nudges me and we spend a lot of time talking. Apparently, she's been seriously debating breaking up with him since he's been gone for so long.
>Timeskipperooni
>Her BF breaks up with HER because apparently he caught her cheating (which was impossible at the time he specified, probably just some bs)
>She's an emotional wreck
>Clings onto me
>A lot more flirty
>Casually mention to our group of friends that I'm really bad a closing with girls
>Laughing, laughing, basic lunch table joke
>After a while she turns to me after the joke and says, "Really, anon?"
>At this point in time she's kinda backed off of me, so I only halfway paid attention to her
>nod and say yeah
>"So if I were to tell you to meet me in my car after school for some sex, you doubt you could close the deal with me?"
>MFW
>Knees weak, cock is diamonds, seriously 0 to 100 boner mode
>Somehow managed to spurt out this fucking line, I shit you not
>"N-no"
>MFW I beta'd myself at the last minute
>MFW she gets with another dude shortly after
>MFW

>>731291037
You should stop worrying.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXngU7WqEJA

>>731293682
Endless circle of faggotry

>>731293961
Fuck you fagboi

>>731293961
at least some of us have gotten out of this shitty dreadfull existance.

>>731291394
>his name was Robert Paulson

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>>731291037
you will be saved, poo poo paul we shall call you

>>731294950
Kek

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>>731291037
>fast forward few days and people are calling me Poo Poo Anon (my name starts with Paul)

>>731295009
The shit already spreading :')

>I don't want to disclose my identity, call me Homer S.
>No, better H. Simpson

>>731291037
Can't believe everyone fell for this fake name drop

Ishygddt

>>731295009
>>731291037

>>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

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>>731295512
never said i believed the story, i just think its good content

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>>731291037
Bullshit. You lost me at raep. 'People' recording you (more than one). Even if they worship her and hate you, she's not just going to belly up to the bar and sell a rape story.

Admit to lie or tell actual story.

>>731295009
you have a custom font?

Lol trying to save yourself with the fake namedrop...the deed is done shitface

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>be 17
>this new girl comes in to my school
>those eyes, cute and petite
>get to known
>tfw actually into the same music as me and all the other stuff
>meet at her house frequently after school
>cuddle together, watch movies and stuff
>she sometimes goes crazy and jumps up on me and rides me, unzips my pants or moves my hands near her crotch
>me inexperienced and awkward
>what do
>one time accidentally brush on her boobs when she's moving my hands again
>she bites her lip and pushes my hands into her chest
>her hand goes into my underwear and starts fiddling around
>insta hardon
>pants gone, she jerks me off for a bit then removes her shirt and bra
>I try not to over excite myself and play with her small boobies while she's giving me a handjob
>finish like that later
>mfw didn't even kiss her and I came all over her hand
>this continues to happen later with more stuff going on
>we lose our virginity, she's into all sorts of fetishes
>later develops some psychological shit and dumps me
>sad
pic related

>>731296499
she looks cute anon, sorry

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>be me
>16
>at a party
>girl has just had two guys fuck her and dump loads in her
>she asks if i want a go
>no i say
> she sucks me off
>girl ends up having and sti
>mfw one of the guys gets it
>mfw she gets pregnant
>mfw its one of the guys babies
>mfw she has an abortion in secret
>mfw she doesnt and the bf believes its his

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ok so be me
> I will post this everyday until mods chemo this board. I will post the rarest pepes in threads that are gay.
take your trap threads to lgbt faggots. take your cuck threads to soc.
take your log of shit threads to 2chan take your gay ama threads to plebbit take your fb fap threads to facebook chats take your cringe threads to rk9 take your furry threads to trash take your kik threads to kik
take your ylyl threads to 9fag and I faggy
take your political discussions to pol take your pics you shouldn't share threads and kill yourself op for making this thread
It's time for COPY THIS POST AND MAKE A NEW THREAD OR YOUR MOTHER WILL DIE IN HER SLEEP, NO IMMUNITIES
> cum violently

>>731291538
It's true OP, I'm part of the cyber police.
You are getting rekt, son.

>>731296146
what font do you have?

>>731291037
>the poo poo anon paul

>>731291037
>hey come watch me fart in anons mouth
>record it guise
and then like
>he raeped me!

Doesn't compute, even in the Feminist States of America.

>>731294489
Only the dead know peace from this suffering

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>>731295320
Do you think anyone even know what that means anymore?

>>731291504
this. the end.

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>>731294489

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>be me
>be in HS
>be female born in mans body
>be at party
>this sperg who lost some wieght is eying me
>decide to do some charity and let him eat my ass
>we go up
>feel that chimichanga i ate acting up
>feel relieved after the gas leaves my intestines
>sperg is angry for farting in his mouth
>I run out

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>>731297065

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well latest sex story:

>be me
>with my girlfriend of 2 years
>visit my parents
>parents go to vacation monday morning
>we will leave monday evening
>girlfriend and me are horny
>fuck my girl in my room
>proceed to living room
>fuck her on the kitchen table
>she says the only room left is my parents bedroom
>come inside of my gf while fucking her doggy in my parents bed
>some cum drips on the sheets
>hopetheywontnotice.jpg

pic is my girl

>>731294489
off at basic all the time?
bootcamp is a one time thing, even for weak Army fags.

>b 19
> girl I work with at grocery store 17 yo slut
> b late 90's so gives me her pager number
> one night drunk at friends house and page her
> she calls I tell her I'm going to a party and sh should meet me
> she is spending the night at a friends and sneaks out
> b me pint of rum drunk
> she walks in and I walk up and put my arm around her
> turn her around and start walking to my truck
>no words
> she gets in and immediately goes for the d
> rockhardjpg.
> starts sucking I pull down her pants and start fingering
>worstbjever.org
> say let's fuck
>she wants it.
>climbs on top starts riding she's nude I just unzipped and unbutton pants
>she cums and screams so load busts my eardrum
> 69
>lay her on her back and fuck her till I cum
> she was screaming the whole time loud af
> cum on her braces.
>fuckinghot.jpg
Cont?

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>be in relationship 6years
>decide it is finally time for making sex
>feel so horny
>go to bar and find black bull
>all go home
>sit in chair and watch bull take my grill
>finally lost v-card
>so hawth

>>731298014
Look at the size of that beer belly.

>>731298575
Yes pls

>>731298014
You're not a female in male body, you're just a retarded psycho. Remember, acceptance is the first step to helping yourself.

>>731292851
>gave her a clove

What a faggot

>>731298378
More of her

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>>731299105
well okay, sure

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>>731299105
>>731299205
>>731298378

>believing anyone on/b/ has had secks.

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>>731296662
ikr

>>731298575
> she cleans up gets in her car and leaves.
>think about going back into the party but decide just to go home
> get to my house go to the bathroom
>drunk as fuck so don't really look down or notice anything odd
> move to sink
>look at hand and notice they are covered in blood
>wtf.gif
>pants shirt hands face hair blood blood blood
>clean up through shirt and shorts in garbage
>go to bed
> next day go to get ready for work
>mom is doing laundry
> anon I found these close in the garbage what happened are you ok
> she's holding up a shirt and shorts that have a vaginal bloodbath on them
> make up some bullshit about a fight
> mom puts the clothes in the kitchen sink in cold water to soak the blood out
>got to go to work walk out to truck
> mom follows me out bc I have something for her in my truck
> open door and are both hit by the foul stench of rotting menstral blood baking in the Florida sun
> truck is covered in blood spatter and smear marks
> at first mom thinks I've killed someone and almost faints
> then the smell, I saw it come over her face when she put it together
> anon you let me soak that in our kitchen sink
>I freak jump in the truck and take off
Cont?

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>>731299299
Some of us have had lots of sex.

> have gf of a year and a bit
> she lets me do my own thing
> over at female frienda house
> playing games as usual
> she asks how things are going
> mention since gf put on weight she's too self concious to fuck
> female friend asks how long
> haven't been laid in a month
> she says that explains why I've been cranky lately
> lols were had
> a little later I'm swearing at the game
> she says she doesn't like hanging out with me when I'm like that
> says she has an idea
> stands up in front of couch and takes her jeans off
> I've got this grin on my face but am trying to play it off as a joke
> then she stradles me on the couch and unzips me
> I started to protest but she just said "shut up"
> she pulled her panties aside and I was in
> she fucked me for about 5min and when I was about to cum she kept riding
> I had a violently intense orgasm inside her
> she got off and cupped her hand on her pussy
> ran to the bathroom and returned as if nothing had happened
> "Feel better Anon?"

>>731299504
KEK

>>731299504
more. I'm intrigued.

haha

>>731299101

It was less faggy than sucking dick

>>731292851
>Don't open the red door Jen!

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>>731299504
My sides and my cringe.. Go on.

>>731299504
yes cont!

>>731299504
why didnt she smell it as she was soaking the clothes?

>>731299507
Any other stories?

>>731300572
Clothes had been in stinky trash can

>>731291037
No fucking way! I was in your class dude

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>>731300757
Of course.

> be me in my 20's
> ex gf has little sister
> just turned 14
> about 90lbs
> ginger, porcelain skin with light freckles
> she's having home troubles
> ex asks if sis can crash at my place for a night
> uh.. Sketchy but okay
> take her home
> getting ready for bed
> she sees my liquor cabinet
> her "can I have a drink?"
> me "your sister would kill me."
> her "I do it all the time, I'm not that innocent."
> me "I have no reason to risk it lol"
> there's a delay of a few minutes while I set up the couch
> her "you can touch me.. Then we'll both have a secret. She would kill me if she knew."

This is where I should have gone to bed and forgotten the whole thing.
Instead I gave poured us both a drink, and said I didn't need to touch her if she wanted a nightcap so bad.

Within an hour of chatting on the couch she was stradling my lap with her top off.

>>731300971
nonce

>>731299504
>at work she tries to come by and say hi
>ignore her she gets mad
>don't talk for weeks
>a month later
>walking around at city block party drunk again
> ps me and me friends nickname her the bird because she's lanky and looks like a stork
> see the bird
>walk up put my arm around her turn her around
> start walking down a side street
> get to my truck
>another shitty blowjob
> fuck her again
>this time my friends come back to the house we are parked at
>see us fucking and start knocking on window
>I think shit they just ruined it but the fun was just beginning
> she stops rolls down the window
>hey guys
> we go inside she's still naked
> she starts talking about us all fucking her
>we do
>five of us
> shower her in cum no fucking lie
> I'm fucking her and she's begging dudes to cum on her
> taking dicks from all angles
> we kind of all abuse her but she loves it
> one guy has shitty 90's camcorder going the whole time

Cont?

>>731301166
She was pretty tight.. I remember every time we left the house she would bounce down the steps and I would suddenly realize what I was doing to her.
After a few hookups she wanted a relationship.. So I had to stop things.

>>731301637
still pretty noncy anon

>>731296499
>>731296662

dat ring lol

>>731301637
>So I had to stop things.
so how did you swing that one? By going straight to jail?

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>>731301870
You think I didn't realize that?
She was all for it though.
You try saying no to a cute petite girl who can take cock past the inside of her bellybutton.
She rode like it was a profession.

>>731297558
I like you though at least

>>731302167
Pic related?

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>>731302000
Nope.
14 was technically legal.
But if I tried to keep her it would be a social disaster for us both.
Just talked to her about it, and that we really had nothing but sex in common.

>>731301503
> a couple months go by
>don't really talk to her much and she doesn't know that there is a video but word gets out she took on five of us
> store manager comes into where I am working
>you need to come to my office anon.
>get to his office, detective waiting in the office
> fuckmylife.org
> she accuses us of drugging and gang raping her
> get booked
>one by one other dudes get arrested
> use my right to remain silent
>ps I knew nothing of the camcorder
> slowly all my anon friends in holding cell with me
> /b/ro says nothing about camcorder were all sweating except him.
>one of the rich fags who wasn't really our friend hires different lawyer
> camcorder bro doesn't hire lawyer
>rich fags lawyer tries to blame it all on me
>anon was raping her in his truck I didn't know she was drugged
Cont.

>21
>Friend of friend I've hung out with tonnes of times before comes on to me I a big way all of a sudden at a party I hosted
>Not really my cup of tea but she as cute and worth a fuck
>Head upstairs as party dies down
> Kisses me deep, claw at her chest
> pushes me back and pulls my jeans down, absolutely goes for it, deep throat off the bat
> come hard because I didn't expect it so fast, pulls out as I come on her chest, makes a defeated sigh like "Aw he's come I guess we're done"
>Pulls me up and hugs me, I motion to go down on her but she pulls me back up, she's drunk as fuck
> says "I don't want anything I just wanted you to feel good"
>Sure, whatever, we go to sleep
>Wake up in morning and she's still sleeping in her shorts
>Look down and see a tiny cock and balls poking out from her shorts down the leg
>Dunno what to do so wake her up and tell he she's slipped out
>Freaks out and says she doesn't want anyone else to know, say it's cool but we should hang out later

And that's the story of how I started an on off relationship with a pre-puberty transitioned tranny

>>731301503
so this girl you met soaked you and your car in menstrual blood. fucked you in your car again and now your shooting a porn. film this is a fucking rollercoaster

>>731302290
> nice try fbi.

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>>731302467

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>>731302413
Wtf Anon

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>>731302290

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>>731302467

> year goes by I get put on stand at trial
> isn't it true anon that you had relations with this girl before?
> isn't it true that you were so rough with her you made her bleed a little?
>recordscratch.wave
>what? A little blood? Rough? No mother fucker bitch was on her period and bled all over my truck
>mom has to testify
> camcorder bro finally takes the stand representing him self
>presents tape
> the birds mom and dad had to watch her begging for dick in the courtroom
>my sides
> thanks camcorder bro
> weird thing is I'm still friends with her and still fuck every now and then lol

>>731302388
>14 was technically legal.
WHERE!!!!?????????!!!!

>be 20
>at a friends party know everybody except one girl
>a bit chubby great tits
>talk a bit i flirt a little but she said im to young (she was 23)
>fuck it still flirt
>she goes to the bathroom dont thing much about it
>comes back and is disappointed that i didnt follow her in
>say go again and i will come
>wait a min and go after her
>kiss in the hall and i say we should go upstairs in a room
>she said no and somebody came in and we split
>come back outside and continue to party
>at about 4 we all go to bed and we find a room and i lock the door
>can hear everybody still up but fuck it
>she undresses and i come to her bed
>we start kissing and i start to finger her
>she starts moaning loud but fuck it we are drunk
>proceed to fuck her still moaning loud
>after we said to never talk about this to anyone
>next morning we clean up and i go home
>then i get a text from friend what i did last night
>i said nothing
>MFW when he said everybody heard us

got to get new friends i guess

>>731302914
Yeah and you actually believe that?

>>731302398
to recap
>anon fucks bitch
>she soaks his car and him in menstrual blood
>fucks him again. and lets his buddies join in and film it
>She accuses anon and co. of rape
>camcorder guy shows video in front of bitches parents.
>keks were had
What a bloody mental story
>>731303070

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>>731303309

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>>731302926
>>731302826
>>731302290
If she's legal to fuck, isn't she legal to have pics of?

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>>731291037

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pics of people when they don know

>>731303476
Nah... Pictures are illegal if they're under 18

>>731303309
The legend of the bird anon

>>731303192
> "Was" legal.
(Canada) age of consent is 16 now.

>>731302398
please continue

>>731303629
That's kinda fucktarded.
Pics seem less intrusive then a dick.

>>731291165
i read that and i was like wtf why even say anon. haha

>>731291915
what? where is the same thing part. did u just kick a bitch in the teeth?

>Be 19
>4yo cousin visiting for the holidays
>sits on my lap
>wiggling her little butt side to side whilst watching Muppet's on tv
>room full of family
>realise I am about to nut
>maintain pokerface whilst blowing ropes
>nearly pass out
>say not feeling well and go upstairs
>ponder life

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>>731291165
poo poo paul poo poo paul!

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>>731304010
Dude.. That's kinda fucked up.

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>>731293371
sounds like something poo poo paul would say...

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>>731303548

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>>731304010

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>>731303192
I miss those days.
Have one of my other stories.

> hs senior year
> over at gf's place
> nobody home
> start fucking
> have her bent over
> spanking, name calling, hair pulling
> real filthy whore in bed
> finish up and go to bathroom
> see her sisters door is open
> I'm naked and she's sitting in bed looking at me with a grin
> fuck.. Not home alone
> go get cleaned up and wear towel back to gf's room
> "pretty sure your sister heard us"
> they go talk
> gf "she's not going to say anything to my dad."
> as the weeks pass her little sister talks to me more
> even starts awkwardly flirting
> she's a thin ginger emo type
> not really my kind of girl but attractive enough
> one day I come over and the gf had missed her bus
> her sister decides to shower and walks nude past my gf's bedroom
> sly grins at me again
> bold move bitch
> after about a month of flirting my gf missed her bus again
> "Anon want to come in here instead of doing nothing in there?"
> should have said no
> lil sis just turned 14 (legal here fags)
> instead within five minutes I have her pajamas off and am molesting her roughly
> her "this is bad.. We shouldn't.. Fuck me like a slut.. I'm being such a dirty slut.."
> I had never nutted so hard in my life
> didn't take long, maybe a min of choking her with my cock buried
> had to rush before next bus
> felt guilty but continued a few more times
> eventually broke up and couldn't date sister
> all we had in common was a love of rough sex

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>be 19
>visit another city where my cousin (17) lives
>meet up with her in town in the evening
>she has some of her friends around
>we go through a few bars and get moderately drunk
>she is quite drunk herself
>wandering through dark town drinking our own beer
>cousin gets really clingy and doesn't look after her clothing (it was summer, so not much clothes and it's all basically loose if not fixed)
>can't unsee that her nipples are showing through the top of her bra that's clearly too big for her
>her friends start going home one by one
>eventually it's just us two left
>she's sitting besides me and hugging me
>we're in a remote dark place
>I try to subtly tell her that her top is very loose and I see everything
>she giggles and says "do you like it?"
>"um, well, yeah kinda"
>"let's see how much you like it"
>takes her bra suspenders down to the sides to reveal everything
>proceeds to slide a hand under my shorts and grab my almost hard dick
>clearly she has experience
>she's stroking it while I get braver and go for a feel on her breast
>shorts down, she kneels in front
>goes down on me without any words
>it's kind of messy because she's drunk
>eventually finish in her mouth
>seems like she swallowed most of it, spit out the remains
>casually drinks it down with last bits of our beer
>"that was fun"
>next day she's hungover and i'm not even sure if she remembers that, so we never talked about it again
>2 years after, I heard lots of slutty stories about her in the time that passed since this happened
>oh well
>pic related

>>731302388
pic related?,
if so
v& & b&

>be me
>have sex with a girl
>be me
>have sex with more girls
>be me
>have sex with lots of girls lots of times

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>last Summer
>gf and I go to the beach
>set up a tent to camp there overnight
>a few people set up one of those huge 16 person tents about 30 feet from ours
>gf and I get drunk, go in the tent at about 2 am and fuck like sailors before shore leave
>she's yelling my name the entire time
>we fall asleep and wake up around 9
>she goes to the shower while I sit on the beach and have a ciggy
>the people in the tent next to ours start piling out
>"GOOD MORNING, ANON!"
>"HEY ANON"
>"SLEEP OK, ANON?"
>think "How do they know my na-"
>mfw it hits me

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>>731304894
> see response >>731302467
> not today NSA

>>731303070

hahaha, excellent

>>731291179
Kek

>>731305206
> Kek'd

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> be at house party
> tight little blonde is there
> it's a small gathering
> gets down to just four of us
> buddy takes other girl to bedroom
> leaves me with tight little blonde
> she's wasted.. and bored..
> says we can fuck.. but it doesn't mean anything
> we take our pants off and she starts riding me on the couch
> I think she came.. Then just held onto me while I pumped up
> I ask if she's on the pill
> no response..
> lift her head a bit
> passed out
> dick becomes diamonds for some reason
> thrust a bit more and pump my load into her
> decide to pass out too with her on top of me
> wake up to a strange sensation around 4am
> then I realize what woke me up..
> this drunk chick is pissing herself
> I'm in disbelief.. Pick her up (only 110lbs or so)
> lay her over the arm of the love seat
> come back from wiping myself off to her ass and pussy still bent over the seat
> fuckit.. Technically I rape her from behind at this point
> grab my pants and leave her behind with two deposits of cum in her

Actually fucked this girl sober a couple of times too later on in the year. Hot little trashball she was. Kek

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>>731295271
It was Skinner saying "L. Simpson".. .

Bs
>Around 14-15yr old,emo fgt with emo fgt friend
>Meet Cousine of she's around 17
>She has Friends at our school
>Became Part of the weirdt autistic Teens moving
>Going to cosplay conventions with them on a regular Bases

I dont wore Cosplays ,Just liked deathcore and Metal...
It was pretty Common there
>Meet a cute 8/10 Ginger Just a Bit Long chin
5minutes of Smalltalk and we start drinking and switching Out Numbers
And start skyping and playing Dome Games together+"Relationship"
>Few weeks later i'm visiting her
>Meeting her at the trainstation
>buying some Beers
>It's fucking 1pm
>Decide to Drink some in her room
Just bed and PC
>She Turns on music and mumbles"HM Rainer i have a Bit stomachpain
>Pushes me Back and leans on to ne
>Gets her hands into my pants
>Rickyisconfused.jpg
>She Rides for 10minutes
>Menstrualblood on my Dick
Cont.?

>>731302398
keep going plox

>>731306307
Cont only if you have spell check enabled.

>>731304861
Bra suspenders...
There're called bra straps virgin.

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You fuckers are slow.. Bump

>be me
>dating this girl for 3 months
>fucking in her bedroom
>her moms friend walks in, high on heroin and meth while i'm mid thrust under the blankets
>fuckfuckfuck
>stays there and talks to us for a half an hour
>i continue fucking under covers
>he doesnt notice anything

>>731306444
sry german spellcheck Fucks me up
+I will still write like a legstanical retard

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>>731302413

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>>731306783
sorry i'm not an english native speaker, I sometimes forget these words

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>2009
>jr year of highschool
>thunderstorm, possible tornado hits the school
>lights are knocked out
>everyone has to sit in the hall until we get the all clear
>sitting next to gf
>the possibility of getting killed by a tornado don't do shit against the ominous and limitless power of teenage hormones
>gf and I start making out
>rock solid in .2 seconds
>she starts giving me a handjob with a hint of blowey Joey
>in the darkness
>I can FEEL the cum about to escape my dick
>she puts her mouth on it
What a trooper.
>lights flick back on
>she pulls back
>start cumming with my whole dick out in front of 60 students and a few teachers
>hallway starts fucking rioting
>she runs off crying
>I sit there in shock and stuff my still hard shaft back in my pants
>people getting in my face yelling
>3 security guards called in
>one escorts me out the other two try to calm down everyone
>suspended for 2 weeks
>ISS for 3
>other kids won't fucking let me live this shit down
>consider suicide for a few months
This was the worst moment of my entire life.

I wish I could've ended that with
>and that ended my teaching career
But nope.
Shit was so bad I graduated in the summer with 10 other retards who couldn't graduate on time just to avoid walking across the stage and hearing them laugh.

>>731291165
Top kek you mong

>>731291037
Haha that's made me laugh. Funny shit

>>731303070
omg, hook me up with this girl

>>731307190
You shot your cum all over a girl as she left crying

Sounds like a fucking hero bro

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>>731292851

>>731296pic related is just bitch from /soc/
some nigger fugged her last week

>>731303070
this feels like a ripoff of an ancient capped story of getting payback on an ex, the whole calmly waiting until court to reveal the tape thing

>>731296499
pic related is just bitch from /soc/
some nigger fugged her last week

>>731307152
Hold up.. Do you ACTUALLY call bra straps "bra suspenders?"

>>731295156
I hope I'm browsing Chan some day and see this and I will kek

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>>731307546
no, I just forgot the actual word so wrote something that came up to my mind and made sense I guess

My wife recently came home from a girls night out at around 3 am. She hopped into bed and woke me up and told me she was horny. She pulls off my boxers and straddles me. She grabs my cock to guide me in as she lowers herself down on my cock. Holy shit, she is wet af. Once fully in, she informs me that her pussy is full of some stranger's cum she met at the bar. I came in about 10 seconds. Hottest sex of my life.

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>>731307703
Awwe.. That's less funny.

>>731307190
>731307190
TOP KEK

>>731307190
fkn shit school. You should have hero status after that.

>>731305918
Care to tell us her name?

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>>731307748
I would have hurled her into the closet with one angry thrust and then beat her with my disgraced cock until all the competitors jizz had flaked off.

>>731307527
what, she posts here? I don't know much apart from that she moved to the uk, got married, separated 2 years later, but now she's sleeping with black men? damn...

>>731307942
Coral

>>731307748
Did that lead to a divorce?

How can you stay in a relationship like that?

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>>731307314
She went to something called AIM, can't remember what it stands for but it's basically the school for misfit kids, so she didn't have to deal with the harassment.

A few years later after we had broken up I asked her about whether or not she got shit for it from the other kids.
>Well my parents were pissed for a week or so, but after that no. What about you anon?
>mfw

>>731307895
Don't get me wrong, a lot of students did tell me that's some of the most alpha shit they'd ever seen, but I had no fucking clue whether they were taking the piss or not so I can't tell.

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>>731306307
Cont.
>Just saw my dick was covered in blood
>Can focus enough to don't freak out like a lunatic
>Run to the bathroom
>I come back she just laughed a bit
>She explains it's period blood
>I showered for 50minutes
>Few minutes later the emo kid out of my class appeared let's call him Schwuchtel since he's saved like that in my phone and it means fgt
>Dead silence
>She makes some jokes
>I'm just looking on the wall
>Few drinks later say it to my friend
>Get the nickname red Robert pirate

I used to regularly have sex with Melissa Joan Hart, ask me anything.

>>731300278
IT Crowd reference. Kek

>>731307953
>>731308152
We are swingers and she has my permission to get a little strange cock now and then

Be me. Be in early teens. Be a social tard. Manage to get a bf at school. She's Asian and tiny but turns out one of the biggest sluts in school. She comes round mine with another guy friend. I'm doing homework in my room. She starts blowing the guy then blows me after. She goes to kiss me and i can taste other dudes cum. Nearly puke. They leave and i feel kind of heart broken

>>731308618
Gf**

>>731308237
You freaked out over that? Personally I think it's really amazing to pull my blood covered dick out of a girl.

Should try to get my GF to lick it clean next time.

>>731296966
That's like matrix level bullet dodging right there bro

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>>731308469
Unless you're getting extra pussy on the side as well.. You're not a swinger.
You're a cuckold.

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>>731307820
doesn't make her less of a slut

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>>731308744
Well it was the third time
Since then some time has past

>>731308469
My gfs parents are swingers so she offered me the same deal. Said she was cool if we had other people but we were each other's #1

I rejected that, she ended up cheating on me.

>>731293682
Poor Poo Poo Paul

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A buddy of mine is a pornstar and one day last month he invited me to watch a shooting (pun intended).
I thought, "Hey cool, behind the scenes."

Lemme tell you, watching a professional porn shot is the coldest, most lifeless, most sterile, most surreal shit I've ever seen.
>pornstars would be going at it
>Director: STOP, FUCKIN- WHATRE YOU DOING?
>both pornstars stop moaning, stop thrusting, dead silence
>Director demeans them and makes a thrusting movement
>Director: SEE THIS? THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT, NOT WHATEVER THE FUCK YOUR DUMB ASS IS DOING. START OVER.
>female would stop mid-moan
>Female: Can you- Can you not put your dirty fucking feet in my fucking hair?
>director yells at her for stopping mid-scene
>male pornstar yells at both of them
>female starts fucking screaming
>camera man is just in the corner smoking a cig indoors and messing with his phone
>in 10 seconds flat they're back at it
>females moaning, laughing, "FUCK YEA, RIGHT THERE." in a goddamn second
>some time after the shoot my buddy talks to her
>female: I never want to work with that fucking retard again blah blah blah"
>mfw
Ruined porn for me for about 6 hours.

>>731307190
Fucking man of the year award

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>>731309696
Legendary

>>731291037
My name starts with Paul !!!
That line right there proves why the skank you had a crush on took a shit in a toilet with no toilet roll and said to her friends I know how I'll get my ass clean. That regard in school who's name starts with Paul is a right fucking clown. Her friends say we dare you to ask him to lick your ass clean . She says easily he's a retarded beta fuck. You can record it on your phones if you don't believe me. Sure as eggs are eggs the skank get the beta to lick her clean and even decides to fart in his face for entertainment value.

>>731307748
I think only depraved faggots who have never had sex in their life and who only look at porn all day could be turned on by that. Calling bullshit on wife/gf or whatever you liked about having.

>>731297065
oh fuck off

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>be me
>seeing girl that pops pills
>every night always out of her mind
>have violated her every which way
>pic related

When I was in my 20s I dealt meth. I had a customer that could never afford her shit and I was tired of fucking her. After I turned her down one night and told her to gtfo she starts a breakdown. Crying screaming pleading saying crazy shit. Before I get her out the door she offers me her daughter for sex. How old I ask. 9. I tell her 100$ worth of shit if i get to fuck her pussy 50$ for oral. She wants the hundred. She goes to her car and gets her daughter. She tells her I'm gonna do stuff to her and it's ok and she has to do it for mommy. She held her daughters hand and cried with her as I fucked her as hard and fast as I could. When I came I pushed my dick as far into her as I could. My sheets were a bloody mess but i wasn't mad about it. I gave her 150$ worth of shit and told her to come back anytime for that deal. She came back atleast two dozen times before she stopped coming at all. She got a lot of meth from my pocket but I feel I got the better deal. I would have given her more if she asked but she never did.

>>731307504
Hey this is anon who this happened to. I agree it sounds a lot like that story. But it really did happen. It was fucking crazy and 4 other guys involved. First time I read the story you are talking about I keked my ass off because the same thing happened to me

>>731310728
Please have more of her bro

>>731310728
NEED MORE

>>731311016
You are a disgusting human

>>731291037
This never happened

>>731293961
This is a positive one. I thought for sure you'd become an hero.

>be me at 18
>in highschool, great social skills-- popular girl all my friends are popular girls and jock guys
>total slut I love to have my ass eaten but typically only by 10/10 guys
>decide to change that, start working on being less shallow, giving cute loser guys a chance, etc
>go to one of many parties same old shit different weekend
>hanging out with friends-- notice creepy looking guy eyeing me
>shitfaced, underaged drinking as usual-- decide to give nerdy loser a chance
>talk to loser
>"anon, come upstairs"
>he follows me upstairs with a raging boner
>we go into a room and I jump on the bed landing on my ass
>"let's do it"
>"ok" he says
>I get close to him and ask while whispering if he eats ass
>tells me he's a virgin (what a bad idea!) and tells me he's never done it, but he'd do it for me (whatever he was actually pretty hot just weird af)
>I turn around and gets on my knees
>pull down my pants and he places tongue on my slutty butthole
In all honesty, i know it tasted like shit (just took a shit)
>He's going all in despite my worries about how it smells/tastes, fuck it I'm enjoying it and moaning when all of a sudden
>BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
>I farted in his mouth!! (So f'ing embarrassed)
>I flinch and turn around to see people recording us on their phones
>Here's my opportunity to act like it was all a big joke
>I pick up my shit and run out bottomless-dying of embarrassment
>fast forward few days and people are calling him Poo Poo Paul
>I convince everyone he raped me and he has to leave highschool

>>731311333
Trips of truth

>>731291425
It's fine, Paul. Your story made me laugh and that's all that matters. You're a hell of a guy, Paul!!!

>>731309696
That's common knowledge, anon.

>be a social retard (not a beta though just bad with talking to girls
>in downtown meet cutie
>everything was going ok i guess till her fat retard friend comes along
>she had some stupid paper mache bullshit thing i dont know what the fuck it was
>qt asks if i want to comeover to her house
>sure as long as i dont get raped or someshit
>at qts house with her fat retarded friend and some paper mache shit
>get up to take a piss
>come back to go to the living room
>step on her retarded paper shit and fucked it up(accident)
>fatty rages i told her who gave a fuck shit was retarded anyway
>she starts crying
>oh fuck lol this is awkward
>qt in rage says "ARENT U GONNA APOLOGIZE??????"
>knew str8 off the bat theres no way in hell im going to apologize for this stupid shit
>standing there like a retard myself
>retardation ensues "duh....uhhhh.ermm..."
>at that point im looking around and shit and realize the door is only like a few steps away
>take a few retard steps back and i fucken ran out the door and was like fuck this shit man

I would've apologized but i knew from there i wasnt gonna smash so fuck it

>>731311298
Who's worse tho me or her mother?

>>731299507
Hot as duck mate

>>731311278
just reverse image the pic, my boy j use to take pics of her.

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>>731311849
She was.

>>731298014
This is such gold

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>>731311016
First good reason for being a dealer I would consider.

>>731298014

Where the hell is her monitor?

>>731312202
MODS

>>731291037
Poo Poo Paul 10/10 cant stop laughing. such a tard

>>731303247
You were 20. She was 23. The fuck was the problem?

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>>731313092
> mfw that pic isn't underaged

Clearly you've never seen an actual underaged pussy you faggot.

>>731293961
Beautiful. Good job, anon.

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>>731311016
> $150 a pop
> two dozen times
> $3,600 street value
> say $2,000 cost?
> muthafucka you got a golden deal

Describe the daughter please.

>>731314051
Guys this story was posted last week by someone else. Not saying that guy last week was telling the truth or not, but the guy who posted it in this thread is just trolling.

>>731314483
Yeah this.

>be me 16 virgin dating this girl 4 months
>we make out a lot and rub each other through clothing
>I go over one day we lay in her bed watch movies
>her mom supervises when we're in her room
>later that night her mom falls asleep on a second bed in a corner nook in the room
>we're spooning and rubbing
>I whisper "do you wanna have sex?"
>she says yes
>we pull down our pants
>I play with her she jerks me off
>I'm so nervous because virgin and scared her mom will wake up and catch us
>I can't get hard
>she says "it's alright Anon"
Feelsbadman.jpg
>I go home still a virgin

>about a week later I tell my parents I'm sleeping over at a friend's
>go to her house sneak in window
>not a virgin anymore

>>731303070
Nice fake story faggot

>>731314483
Actually it's my original pasta and I've been posting it intermittently for 3 years mr leet detective.

>>731299205
>>731299249
You got kik

>>731301166

14 isn't pedophile

It's Hebephile at worst

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>>731315488
Or best?
I've always enjoyed young pussy.
They're enthusiastic as fuck.
Especially when sex is new.

>>731315674

I don't really judge 14+, or even 13 depending on the case.

Prepuberty sure but I figure most every man is hardwired to be at least hebephile.

>>731315674
What is the name of that clothing ?

>>731315911
seconded

>>731315911
It's a shirt

>>731314796
Same girl 2 years later
>graduated highschool
>starting college in a week
>she dumps me says she wants to be single in college
>heartbroken
>don't talk for a month then she randomly text me
>asks me to come over
>get there she's crying
>says she feels dirty and has no selfworth
>explains to me she's fucked 5 dudes already
>I say it's fine she's beautiful and what not
>we fuck
>I go home in the morning
>haven't talked to her since it's been a little over a year

>>731291037

>>731312825
>2017 in the year of our Lord.
>not using a printer a your Chinese cartoon image board visual projection.

>>731315911
They're pyjamas from Pink at the mall

>>731309696
Why the fuck do you watch professional porn anyways? You can tell that what you've said is true just by fucking watching it.

>>731295009
put me in the screen shot

Domigay is a normie

>be me las night
>fuk this bich righ in da ass
>nut in lik 2 min
>she be like 'das it?'
>fml /b/

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>>731291037
>pull down her pants and place tongue on her log cutter

>log cutter

>>731311659
LEL

>>731311659
i jerked my fucking cock to this story so hard

>>731291816
That is how this normally happens. People fart during sex some times. Waft it away and keep going.

>>731316592
"Fucking a bitch hot as asphalt
She wonder why I'm cummin so quick
I say bitch it's yo ass fault"
-lil dicky

>>731291037
>>731291165
GOOD GOD SOMEBODY SCREENCAP THIS SHIT

Is this really for real OP? Like did this actually happen? Because that is legit like my fantasy (minus the being videotaped and kicked out of high school). Props to you man, I'm jealous. What did it taste like? How did it smell?

>>731291394
his name was Robert Paulson

>>731308797
underrated as fuck

>>731291165
Holy fuck...thought it was on purpose and made me howl

>>731291502
Underrated

>>731291165
Fuckkkk kek

>>731293961
Good roll on life

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>Be me
>don't drink
>out with friends
>friends are drinking
>be miserable fucking self
>notice incredibly desperate girl
>mini-skirt, hoo-ha about to pop out
>thing just barely makes it over her butt
>flirting with every guy, but whatever semi-cute
>leave to a different bar
>sad to leave mini-skirt cutie
>oh well
>in line at next bar
>who comes up behind me but mini-skirt girl
>"I'm freezing, will you give me a hug?"
>it is cold
>she is shivering
>MFW all I can say is "fuck"
>MFW I cuck myself this hard
MFW I'm this beta

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>>731294489
God damn you beta

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>butterface acquaintance
>comes over to smoke
>sucks my dick for literally 2 hours
>repeat for a few weeks
>start fucking her regularly
>buys me weed and food for 3 months unsolicited
>blows me every time i see her
>i let her stay for one weekend before she has to move back home
>tries to get me to let her live with me
>haha what bitch i don't know you like that
>lets me fuck her face like in porn
>some dumbass comes to pick her up while my dick in still in her throat
>he waits outside for over an hour
>he's marrying her now kekekekke
>pic related

>>731312202
Please have more of her

>>731307190

That sounds less like a life ender and more like a career maker

>>731317841
>cuck

I don't think you think you know what that means.

My most awkward happened about a month ago:
>went on a few dates with this girl
>was awesome girl, funny, cute etc
>went back to mine, started making out
>made my down town
>she hasn't shaved for probably ever, meh whatever, ate it anyway
>she didn't make a single sound, didn't move, absolutely nothing
>asked her if everything was okay? She said it was and she was really enjoying it
>get to the fucking, still didn't move. Laid on her back didn't make a sound, and just rested her hands by her side.
>she got on top for like 3 minutes, was uncoordinated as fuck, couldn't keep a rhythm.
Ended up rolling over and going to sleep, without finishing. Next morning was awkward as fuck too

>>731318450
What do I think you think I think it means?

>>731318626
Either horrible at sex or was a virgin

>>731293961
SMASH SMASH

SUUHHHMASH

>>731318626
what did she look like?

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I used to fuck this one all the time. I convinced her to sub for me. I would cum in her all the time. I also used to fuck her friends behind her back

>>731292851
Hajime no Ippo was a baller anime

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>>731291037


>poo poo Paul

hahaha fuckin A. You're gonna be known as that at your 20 or 25 year HS reunion, you know that dont you?

HEY HERE COMES POO POO PAUL THE ASS EATER

>>731305918
Ive read this story so many times now

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>>731319630
> tfw my little copypasta gets recognition

>>731307748


>jidfcuckposting.txt

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>>731291165
Top fucking kek

>>731319789
<3

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>>731291165
cmonBruh

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I'll tell an extremely abbreviated version of the fist time I fucked this girl.
>Meet some chick online and go to shitty meet up to slam poetry reading.
>Group of people I dunno, and think poetry is gay
>Everyone is pretending to be into except for this chick
>Keep cracking jokes making fun of people on stage
>Go up myself
>Read the back of a sugar packet as a "poem"
>Everyone stares daggers at me
>Chick (we'll call her K) falls out her seat laughing

I leave, don't get number and torpedo chances with chick I met online, but whatever. A month passes, I see chick at an infected mushroom concert. We make out and get the digits for a date.

>Pic her up
>She's wearing a school girl outfit
>Go somewhere scenic
>We go for a stroll
>I'm talking way too much. I am too young to realize that just cause being funny and weird got me in the door doesn't mean it will get me in her cunt.
>Barely work the nerve to hold hands
>Keep talking but I'm out of ideas cause she's not 21 and I totally didn't think this through
>Go back to her place to hang out
>She doesn't have beer or alchohol
>I dunno if things are going well or she's trying to let me down gently with a "gotta wake up early excuse"
>Start talking about music and stuff
>She puts on Oldies station
>Barry White starts playing
>I laugh and say "It would be funny if we just started fucking right now because of Barry White"

At that moment we went for it. No thinking, just hard fucking and I railed the fuck out of her snatch. I came twice. She fucked my brains out. All just because of Barry White and his reputation my first date went from akward nervous hand holding to railing snatch.

>Who said there is no such thing as a good nigger.

>>731318849
She'd just gotten out of a three year relationship, so I'm assuming they fucked.
>>731319164
Uhhh red head, thin body, nice ass, tits were kinda small but eh and really blue eyes

>>731308929
Got any good pics of her? Aside from selfies?

>>731296146
Hello newfriend.

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>be me
>at party
>meet some chick i have on SC
>pulls me away from party
>make out for 5 min
>slowly reach down for her cootch
>commence fingering
>make my way down to eat her out
>hairy but first time so fuck it
>eventually start fucking
>her first time too because so tight
>lil chubby but not land whale.
>fuck for about 5-10 min
>newrecord.mp3
>cum
>stick it back in 2 min later
>didnt use a condom because im literally a dumbass
>prior to makeout says my SC stories are funny
>mfw i act like a retard on social media
>mfw acting immature got me laid

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>>731291816
I have story too
>banging gf
>switch to doggie style
>see poo crust on her butt hole
>keep going and get poo on my tummy
>stop and say anon clean your ass better you got shit on me
>she cleans up and i clean myself
>anon comes back i inspect then keep going.

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>>731291037
pic related

>>731291037
Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul! Poo Poo Paul!

>Last day of school for seniors.
>Me and best friend go to his girlfriend's house so he can do whatever and I can hang out.
>His girlfriend has a friend over.
>He spends a lot of time staring down that friend's shirt, to the point of being creepy.
>Girlfriend puts her foot down and friend leaves in a huff, I'm stranded.
>I say I'm gonna go and the girls say stay and help us with something.
>Do you know how to sew anon?
>I can indeed, along with rebuilding the sewing machine if need be.
>Perfect anon, we want to make bikinisfor summer.
>What followed was about 6Hours of two naked girls waiting for me sew something for them to try on.
>When they got bored of that they turned to teasing me with their bodies and then not teasing.
>I hurt so bad walking home, but they weren't walking well either, so whee.
>I kissed my mom on the cheek when I got home for making me learn how to sew.