ITT order a coffee like how you would IRL and anons guess

>>731258964
Large regular please

>>731259114
Poughkeepsie

Hey could I get a Large Soy flat white with one please?

give coffe now

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Shot in the Dark large

>>731259204
Coshockton

>>731258964
Moin, einen Pott Kaffee bidde
Und wo ist die Milch

>>731258964
Black.

>>731258964
Dame un tinto con poca azucar, por favor.

Let me get a nigger latte hold the nigger.

>>731259284
Chicago

>>731259346
L.A.

>>731258964
ummmm that one "point to a random coffee later dump sugar and creamer in it"

Cup of coffee, strong.

>>731259284
Niggerland?

>>731259204
England?
I've only heard of a flat white in the UK

>>731258964
Double double

Nooo, Russia
>>731259378
>javascript:quote('731259378')

>>731258964
I'd like one trip-trip please.

>>731258964
decaf with lots of cream and sugar pl0x

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regular flat white thanks

>>731259442
Canada

>>731259447
bait

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>>731258964
カフェラテMサイズをひとつください。

>>731259338
Melbourne, Australia actually. So basically upside down San fran

Medium coffee, regular

Moжнo oдин бoльшoй кaпyчинo, пoжaлyйcтa

Or back home,

Could I grab a large cap please

hey mate, can i get a capuccino please?

long black

I'll have double double

>>731259458
Close!

>>731259520
Ontario

Lul, no. NYC?
>>731259405
>javascript:quote('731259405')

>>731259341
Hamburch Ciddy

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>>731259483
From melbourne?

what are you? gay?

>>731258964
Flat white one and a half sugars pls

>>731259476
its not bait! is it my fault i like my coffee like pussy bitch?

>>731259178
Poughkeepsie ny? Cause if so, buy me one too.

So many Aussies in here, fuck we love a good cuppa

>>731259541
Minnesota

Cuckland?
>>731259516
>javascript:quote('731259516')

Ein Kaffee ohne alles, bitte.

Stor kaffe, svart

>>731259509
>could I grab a large cap please

this sounds gay as fuck and like you're trying to be cool

>>731258964
cheta oru kapi

double double with splenda and a side of ketchup chips and a bag of milk. Tell mr. horton I said hello.

>>731259690
Nova Scotia

Yeah gimme a French vanilla

>>731259651
Man I don't fucking remember what I say. I haven't had to order a coffee in English in ages. I'd probably just say hey mate, large cap please.

But if I wrote that then it's obvious I'm Australian, and if I just wrote 'large cap please' then there's no indication where I'm from.

>>731259620
brisbane, australia

>>731259447
want to know how I can tell you've been here for 10+ years?

>>731259637
Uppsala?

>>731259178
No, from Toronto

Un tallat, si us play.

>>731259832
*Plau

Howdy, darlin! Would you be so kind as to serve some of that wonderful coffee of yours?

*shoots a nigger*
*sip coffee*

>>731259558
Bremen State!

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>>731259817
>Toronto

>plebs can't guess correctly
Black with 2 sugars and a dash of angostura bitters

>>731258964
I wouldn't order a fuckin coffee, I make my own.

>>731259764
you fell for my bait and thought i was an oldfag kek!

>>731259832
did you mean sil vous plait?

You're a dumbass

>>731259367
Boricua?

Anybody else think coffee tastes like Satan's piss?

Americano with two cream

>>731258964

gib coffee plox

Regular black coffee to go.

>>731259958
finally a real man

If you're a man and at starbucks you're a tattooed feminine cucked liberal faggot

Hello, a large frappucino with extra cream, please. And a diet coke.

>>731258964
Gimme a double double eh

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>>731260113
>being so insecure about your masculinity you won't even order coffee

>>731260127
Nova Scotia

>>731260062
Go to a different coffee place or try it differently. Burnt or over brewed coffee is piss, perfectly made black coffee is really sweet and rich. There's no drink like it as far as I'm concerned.

>>731260062
Ya and I bet beer tastes yucky too, doesn't it kiddo?

Me: I'll have a large black dark roast iced coffee with three turbo shots

Dunks lady: alright it will be up shortly

Me: wicked

>>731260193
Wrong, I am from that country tho eh

>>731260216
>wicked
are you from 1997 when someone last said that?

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>>731260215

>>731260240
Manitoba

>>731260113
What if I'm not at home?
>going to Starbucks instead of the local bakery for coffee

>>731260216
>Dunks
>Uhmurkan

>>731260113
I think you are confused. The tattooed feminine cucked liberal faggots would go to small organic, independents coffee shops, with indie music in the background, not a large multi-national chemical shit coffee place like Starbucks.

You are obviously stupid af. LLOLOLOL

"Hey, how ya goin'. Can I get a flat white with one sugar please?"

Kaffe! Svart! Snabbt!

>>731260215
>>731260062
coffee objectively tastes bad. People would never choose it if it didn't have caffeine in. Same as alcoholic drinks.

>>731260260
It's pretty current where I live. That and dunks are the biggest hints

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One large coffee. Black, thanks.

>>731260332
>Same as alcoholic drinks
No, some beer is tasty as fuck

>>731260290
Nope, your were a lot closer the first time

>>731258964
Cuppa joe Brenda

>>731260332
>What is an acquired taste

>>731260303
Yeah but where in amoorica

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>>731260306
>af

>>731258964
Large coffee with 2 creamers, please.

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>>731258964
"[in native language] I'll take a regular black one"

this sounds like a fucking cuck request in egnlish tbqh

>>731260408
Yeah im just 12

>>731260179
It's not about being insecure, it's being able to think. I can make 20 cups of coffee for the price they take for one.

>>731260332
It's called being subjective you faggot. I know some people who love the taste of alcohol. You're an idiot bruhh

>>731260387
everything that is an "acquired taste" tastes like shit. It's a meme, you do it to be cool socially or for the effect of a substance in it you retard.

Tea please m'lday

Hey, Can I please get a medium coffee with one milk?

Large Double Double

>>731259808
wallah brori det så

>>731258964
I take my coffee like I take my women: black & bitter

Large cold brew, black
Or
Large coffee, black
Or
Triple espresso, black

>>731260392
Yonkers?

Everyone wanna order coffee, noone wants to guess. Shit thread

>>731260326
Rivet nå så in i helvete ska det va

>>731258964
One Cafe Pele plz

>>731260507
Canada somewhere

Kérek egy presszo, egy cukoral, meg egy tejszinel. Kösz.

>>731260572
McDonald's

Ich nehme einen Kaffee mit Milch, bitte.

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why do you put cream or milk in coffee why why why

>>731260488
>i know some people who love the taste of alcohol

you know people who like getting drunk. that's all. I bet you drink wine too and make up bullshit words about how it tastes like "light crisp straw textured"

Dobbel americano!

>>731260623
Because I like the taste, nigger.

>>731260492
You use Miracle whip in your sandwiches because regular Mayo is too spicy for you don't you?

>>731258964
Black.
Ill doctor it up myself, brain-dead employees can't be trusted with fixing me a cup of coffee.

>>731260492
Wrong. I drink coffee because I like how it tastes. I've always liked how it tastes. I don't give a fuck what "society" thinks of me drinking coffee. I drink it cause it tastes good and helps me shit.

>>731260542
Pretty close. You've got the urban level and corner of the country right

>>731258964
Never order coffee at coffee shops. I just make it myself at home. If I'm getting it at a restaurant, when they ask for drink order:
I'd like a coffee, please.

>>731260484
So you're poor?

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>>731260623
>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far better human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*

>>731260630
No I hate wine.

>>731260630
You are probably young still. I had the exact same opinions when I was younger.

Eventually, you find that wine enhances the taste of the food and vice versa (especially when they are well matched). Sure, the alcohol is a bonus, but the taste is the main reason once you pass puberty.

>>731260306
>af
>You are obviously stupid
>You are
>You

>>731260784
Milk is fine but sugared coffee tastes like piss

>>731260784
this reads like vomit tastes

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>>731258964
ey yous, yea yous, lemme get sum of that coffee here miss -- Hey, HEY! I'm walkin' here -- yea, let mes get some cahfee ovah here, badda bing badda boom.

>>731260832
Agreed fellow oldfag. I thought scotch was the worst when I started drinking. Now nothing makes me happier at night than a chilled dram and a bowl of cavendish

hey walgreens ill have one arizona green tea please

>>731260832
no it doesn't, it's fermented grapes with a high alcohol content you retard.

Stop buying into stupid myths retarded adults make. I bet you believe in the power of healing crystals too dumbfuck.

>>731260779
No, I'm an adult able to think economically.

>>731260918
The Broncs

Venti Iced Coffee with Toffee Nut and Extra Breve

"Could I have a large coffee with two creams and half a butter stick."

>>731258964
Americano with Milk, no sugar

>>731260978
>I'm an adult
>/b/
Pick one

"Kopi O satu boss!" shouted in my native tongue while i take a seat and watch tonights football match with my buddies

>>731260978
>I'm an adult
anyone who says this isn't one

>>731258964
Medium Soya Latte please no sugar

>>731260962
>Cheese is just matured milk solids, you fucking retard.
>Bread is just baked wheat dough, you fucking retard
>Meat is just butchered animal parts, you fucking retard
>Eggs are just unfertilized chicken gametes, you fucking retard
>Water is just bonded hydrogen and oxygen, you fucking retard

>>731260962
>Stop buying into stupid myths retarded adults make
-me, when I was about twelve

>>731261115
LOL

>>731261058
USA

>>731258964

Dame un cafe sin nada por favor.

Black like my men

>>731261061
Mother Goose Nursery?

>>731260978
>No, I'm an adult able to think economically
>would rather spend time in his house making coffee than picking up coffee to go on his way to work

>>731261206
Sweden

>>731258964
Guude, ein gaffee mit milsch un zuckär bidde

>>731261115
Sir, you won the internet today.

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>>731261129
>lol ur 12

>>731260619
DOITSCHLAND

>>731260746
Oh shit, this guys drinking coffee. What a fucking rebel.

>>731261058
Suicide coffee doesn't use cream fatass

>>731259483
Fuck off Melbourne is shit

Me: one coffee, dark, nothing in it
Coffee-making slave: do you want this or this in it
Me: no, nothing in it
Coffee-making slave: how about-
Me: no.
Coffee-making slave: here you go, have a nice day!
Me: ...

>>731258964
I don't even talk to her anymore. Nod and smile, hand the cash, pour it and drink it on the stairs.

En kaffegök.

= A coffeecuckoo in english.

>>731258964
Can I get a vanilla iced coffee, thanks.

>>731261255
All you need to do is get up 10 minutes earlier and you have time to make it and drink it before you go, what are you, retarded?

>>731261521
Munich, (München?)

>>731261649
further to that you can make it the night before and put it in the fridge and have ice coffee if you like that kinda thing.

>>731261649
>10 minutes earlier
10Minutes less sleep. Then have to clean the machine when you get home.
Confirmed poor person

French pressed housebrew. Preciate' it.

One large cappuccino with no sugar please.

>>731261649
>Doesn't want to support the local young mother who opened up a cafe in the seventy-year-old basement bar
Cheap cunt.

Yo can I get a cup a' joe no frills black

>>731261750
>machine
what is instant coffee

inb4 "muh it tastes bad", instant coffee tastes pretty decent, especially compared to some of the shitty "filter coffee"s that cafes sell. Source: worked at several cafes, never buy "filter coffee" it's absolutely lowest quality garbage

>>731261716
That too.

>>731261750
I work for my money, I don't have parents paying everything for me, but hey if it makes you happy lets say I'm poor.

>>731261701
Nope, Sweden.

>wakes up
>goes to kitchen
>goes to kitchen and grabs coffee cup
>places cup in keurig machine
>presses button
>coffee brews
>Spike coffee with quadruple shot of vodka
>looks out window and wonders why it's snowing out this time of year
>slams coffee because I love the summers by the lake but the winters are way too long
>makes another cup of Vodkee
>smokes cigarette

Oh yea, you betcha sweet yuppie ass vodka goes good in coffee don't cha know.

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>>731258964
Flat white thanks

>>731261929
LOOK GUYS I DO DRUGS IM AN ADULT HURR

kill yourself

>>731261881
>he can afford to buy coffee every morning
>he must live with his parents

>>731261939
you're meant to say "thanks" AFTER they do stuff. You say "please" before.

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>>731261929
Finland

>>731261929
slav detected

What? How is that supposed to work?

I'd like a large black coffee please.

Now what sort of info can you garner from that?

>>731262063
If you say thanks then you make the assumption the other person is going to do what you ask, please infers the possibility they won't.

>>731262098
That you live in an English speaking country for starters.

>>731262043
>he doesn't want to spend unnecessarily amounts of money on coffee
>he must be poor

>>731262124
Doesn't that just make it a little rude to say "thanks"?

>>731262072
Close, Alot of people here are finnish including myself.
>>731262019
Drugs are bad m'kay

i'd like a small black coffee, please

can you just fill a cup with espresso shots and charge me however much that is, thanks

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>>731262019

>>731262150
Wow, that's only like 30 percent of the world.

>>731262156
It could do but you'd have to be pretty sensitive to get rustled as a service worker in that situation, probably best to consider an industry change.

Hi can I get a small cappuccino, no sugar.

Latte no sugar please

>>731262245
30% you reckon? Which world do you live in?

>>731258964
Yeah, I'll take a coffee regular please. Thanks. None of this fancy schmancy language.

>>731262245
>>731262150
Or, I could just be an arrogant American cunt that goes to foreign countries and still speaks English and just expects everyone to understand me.

>>731262290
I just made a random guess.

>>731260005
Its just catalan, but yep, its pretty similar to french

Я бyдy кoфe.

Fucking Amerikanka girlyman.

1 coffee O

>>731259508
Canada

>>731258964

"I'll take YOUR favorite however you make it usually"

most of the time that leads to getting a beverage with some extra put into it

>>731262436
Spose it'd work if you like hipster drinks

>>731262168
yeah finnish breakfast and all gave it away. I'd guess Russia, given the many areas previously held by Finland

>>731258964
"I'll have a Grande Pike"

"Room for cream?"

"Y-you too"

>>731262436
I work at a cafe and I would just give you a plain cheap black coffee because I don't drink coffee. It's shitty and makes you dependant after like 2 days/

>>731262401
pyccкий eбaть)

>>731262338
I'm from northern europe and English is the lingua franca practically every place worth visiting

>>731262559
So you're a hypocrite.

>>731258964

iced coffee, cream and vanilla easy on the cream.

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>>731258964

YEA LEMME TRY ONE-A DEM NEWFANGLED NITRO SHITS YOU GOT.

>>731262687
It's a job. I get money for it, I don't give a shit about anything else.

>>731262827
Edge detected

Cup of earl grey tea, hot

Long macchiato and dont fuck it up by making a burnt long black. Fucktard.

>>731263443
>one burnt long black coming right up

I'll have a pound of these beans, whole please.

(I make it at home because it saves money and often tastes better. Only lazy retards buy a daily cup from starcucks)

>>731258964
I'd like my coffee to taste like nutella. You think the barista can do that?
Thank you so very much.

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>>731260060
no,
colombian masterrace

>>731262072
>>731262504
You're retarded. Accented English is dead giveaway. Minnesota or some shit.

>>731258964
Extra large black with 2 shots of espresso.

>>731263491
>every fucking time.

>>731263642
Starbucks has terrible coffee.

>>731263667
german or finland?

>>731263809
You just hate it because it's mainstream. And it's mainstream because it tastes good, i.e. they cover up the coffee taste with milk sugar and flavored syrups because coffee tastes like shit.

>>731263784
Yes sir minnesOtuh, you gotta say it right my dude.

>>731263925
I've only had it once because I'm an ausfag, you faggot.

>>731260216
Somewhere in eastern mass. But please don't tell me you actually say wicked

>>731258964
Ich hätte gern einen großen Kaffee und lassen sie den Keks weg.

>>731263077
You live on the Starship Enterprise.

>>731263925
>And it's mainstream because it tastes good
This is an excellent argument anon, I can't think of a single example which defies this.

Can i get an large extra hot decaf hazelnut skinny soy mocha latte with 7 sugars?

Ein kaffi utan mjokk

>>731263925
>You just hate it because it's mainstream. And it's mainstream because it tastes good
This. I don't drink Starbucks but it doesn't taste bad. Lots of trendy places are worse

>>731258964
black

>>731263925
Why would you even drink it if it tastes like shit? Just drink a coke or something.

>>731264149
Indie coffee shops ftw

Kopi c

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>>731258964
"I take my coffee the way I take my women - cold and bitter"

>>731258964
Unan Koppie. Mort lu summ

>>731264249
Higher caffeine content than most other stuff, and it also makes me poop better than soda if I'm using it for that purpose.

yeah could i just get a large capp with two sugars please

Un cafe por favor

>>731258964
Grüß Gott, a little brown one please.

>>731260525
England?

Water please.

>>731260572
shut the fuck up you college bitch i order some coffee and i expect to get it nuow !

>>731264575
Africa?

Child Porn

>>731264715
Michigan?

>>731264021
kankerland

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>moi, pieni kahvi
<tuleeko muuta?
>tommonen vohveli tosta

>>731264081
Underrated

>>731258964
Where i live you pour your own coffee, choose your own pastry from a showcase vitrine and then go to the register to pay so i would probably just say something like "one of these"

>>731258964
Hi, let me have a large Americano.

Poproszę kawę

Double Espresso, Please.

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>>731265255
Would you like a small fries with that?

Can I get a medium coffee please

Large double double

>>731258964
Liscio.

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>>731258964
Φραπε γλυkο με γαλα
Χαλλλαρα σε λεω

>>731265883
How did you get the wingdings font?

I just need a cafe con leche please.

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>>731266045

b8/10

>>731258964
"Hi how are you today? Good, I'm doing well too! Could I please get a [size] low fat sugar free vanilla macchiato, steamed to 82 degrees Celsius, and topped with espresso whip and chocolate sprinkles?
With debit.
Have a great day ;)"

>>731258964
I'd like a cup of coffee.

>>731258964
What's the cheapest coffee you have?

>>731260216
What in the actual fuck is a "turbo shot"?

>>731258964
small black

>>731265411
>60 boxes of fries
omg lol

>captcha: Equality Toilets

Please just give me some alcohol

Un espresso,per favore. Non il caffè americano che sembra diarrea di anziano.

An espresso,please. Not the American coffee,it tastes like old man's diarreha

>>731267251

exactly this.

Medium, half and half, 2 sugars.

>>731259881
texan here, can confirm this is why all the niggers moved to Houston

>>731266535
Too friendly w/ service staff. -Canada

>>731258964
Yes, I'd like a large coffee, black -- and your number.

Sad that the line actually works.

>>731260784
this is reddit tier shit

>>731258964
Cappuccino, double, please bring some sweetener*(stevia) with it.

>>731263813
America.
But culturally, you're not too far off.
>Guess which state.

(Culturally, I've been told we could land in Copenhagan and not miss a beat.)

Hint: A nearby city has oktoberfest all year round.

>>731261089
Malaysia

>>731264307
I would not want my coffee chained, kicking, screaming, bleeding, cold, hungry, and terrified.

>>731265437
>>731264245
>>731266603
US?

Kopi c siew dai

>>731265883
Τι αηδία ο frappe..

>>731258964
Large Latte, no sugar thanks

>>731259480
>カフェラテMサイズをひとつください。
uhh japan

>>731269240
Belgium?

>>731259433
Canada

>>731269152
Singapore

>>731269256
それはそうやねん。日本のどこ?

>>731269336
Yes

>>731269730
Fuck off chinaman.