What do you do when you're sky-diving and the parachute

>>731123194
you start praying

Enjoy your lasts breaths

Hit the ground really hard

die, probably

do a barrel roll

>>731123194
Do a flip

>>731123194
Enjoy your trip. A lot of people are dead without even realising they died. Car accidents/explosions etc. If you are going to die then rather cooler way like parachute jump than heart attack on toilet.

>>731123349
>probably
I admire your optimism.
You're defo a glass half full type of guy.

Just go back up to the plane and get another one

whip out my dick and see if I can jizz before I hit the ground

>>731123194
bounce

>>731123523
Never say never

>A thrillseeker survived a 14,000 foot fall when both his parachute and the emergency backup failed to deploy during a skydive in Melbourne, Australia.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/skydiver-survives-14000-foot-fall-3699030

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>>731123601

Brace for impact. It's not unheard of for people to survive skydiving accidents, but you've still got a 99% chance of dying I'd assume

>>731123514
Personally I'd rather go in my sleep but I very much doubt I'm that lucky.
I'll probably get mauled by a bear or butt fucked be Herombies long lost cousin.

>>731123778
how the fuck is this even possible
how can a normal human survive a 14000 ft fall

>>731123194
Cry, piss myself, shit myself.

Take chute off, step on it as i fall, jump at the last second.

My cat like reflexes will keep me from dying

>>731123194
Actually you flip on your back and manually remove and release the reserve chute if all fails.

>>731123897
If it is very windy that day it is possible. 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of the time you are gonna die though.

>>731123778
I ain't clicking that.
Guess he landed in a tree or some shit though.
Good luck and god speed anon. Hope you have fun whilst splatting.

>>731123593
This is underrated

>>731123778
>Brad asked his instructor: "Are we going to die?"
My fucking God. I can't even imagine this happening to me. I'm never going skydiving in my entire life.

>>731123903
Probably something along the lines of this.

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>>731123778
>Recognising something was wrong, Brad asked his instructor: "Are we going to die?" The only response his instructor, a veteran of 2000 tandem jumps, could give was "I don't know."

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>>731123194

>>731124077
>mirror.co.uk
>I ain't clicking that
wot

>>731123897
>how the fuck is this even possible
http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/freak+occurrence
>See: phenomenon
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/phenomenon
>An unusual, significant, or unaccountable fact or occurrence; a marvel.

>>731124234
This fucking asshole brad guy landed on the fucking instructor.

>>731123826
>Brace for impact.
Never brace. If you're in a situation where you're expecting a hard impact, try to go limp.

>>731123778
>Brad's boyfriend
Zero fucks given.

Seek out the nearest fast food joint and dive in head first so that I can enjoy a nice cheese burger and French fries just mere seconds before I hit the ground.

Any Skydiver here ?
If your parachute won't open and you are over water and you make yourself as straight and narrow as you can for the water entry, is there a chance that you might survive the impact ?

>>731124704
Someone from the plane could actually give you a burger by dropping it with something heavy attached. You could catch it then eat it before plummeting to death.

>>731124783
Water, from 10k ft above, might as well be concrete.

>>731123194

I would try to find a creationist and land on him.

>>731123194
I'd take all my clothes off. I'm pretty hot so a female rescuer might have sex with my dead body.

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He told the Herald Sun: "I don’t see the accident when I look at this. I see the silver lining. I was part of a miracle and not many people can say that. It means a lot to me. I got this to remind myself I am lucky, I’m here for a reason and here for a purpose.”

7 car crashes.
I swam in a resivour mid winter and fell asleep on the bank when I got out.
Folded my body 180 over my head on a trampoline and flown off several different motorbikes multiple times.
Oh I've also managed to electricurte myself with hart stopping currents. Touched the green chip in a stereo whilst trying to fix the eject button.
Still here, fear me. I give myself the heebie jeibies, I'm indestructible.
>>731124377

>>731124783
Yeah brah it's all good just watch this excerpt from a documentary:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rej-DRF1jIs

>>731124953
Context? Is he ded?

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>>731125138
>hart stopping
Looks like you didn't get off completely unscathed.

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>>731124579
Very true. Think that's why I survived most of my car crashes. Because I was drunk and limp.
Brewers droop has its advantages too.

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>>731125138
>

>>731123194
Pray, even though I'm an atheist.
Just in case.

>>731123194
Take off your pack and pull it out manually. I don't get why nobody has tried this before. There's still a parachute in there, you just have to get it out.

>>731124815
You're the reason people think everyone on 4chan is autistic.
Ever heard of terminal verlocity?
A house and a cheese burger will both travel at the same speed.

>>731125559
Not him, but this is false you dumb fucking retard.

>>731125548
What if there's no parachute there at all because they forgot to put it.

>>731125727
Well that's your fucking fault for not checking that there was one in there before you jumped. Also I don't think this has ever happened to someone before.

>>731125548
>I don't get why nobody has tried this before.
Well to be fair even if someone has you'd probably still have no idea of it happening. But anyway:
>take pack off
>pull chute out
>it suddenly catches a tonne of air
>the jolt makes you lose grip of the pack and you fall anyway
I'm thinking something like that.

>>731125850
There's always a first time for everything.

>>731125923
Put it on backwards, that way you can still use your arms to pull out the chute, but you're still attached to it

>>731123194
Bear hug the cameraman and he deploys his chute

>>731126007
It probably has happened before, but that's because they were going to an hero

Remember the 6 million

>>731125369
>>731125287
Still here.
2 of the worst involve me double jumping a very large ditch twice in a scooby (I basically bounced off the opposite bank) and then proceded to neck beers until I passed out in the middle.
Woke up to a fireman putting the back window through.
And wraping a corsa around a tree at 70 MPH. The tree didn't move, I just knocked a little bit of bark off.

>>731126065
Go try it.

>>731125138
>>731126319
Man with my shitty luck even one of these things would probably kill me.

>>731123194
>What do you do when you're sky-diving and the parachute + backup parachute won't open?

Thanks for asking. An old roommate of mine had a stack of skydiving magazines and gave them to me. Each issue had a page describing fatal accidents. The most interesting part to me was what people did when their main and reserve chutes failed -- I mean, it's all over except for the splat, right?

Some people curled up into a fetal position. Others spread their arms out as if they could fly. Interesting moment. I like stories like that, when people are fucking doomed.

>>731125646
Yes it is.
Terminal verlocity is the top speed you can fall at and it's equel for all masses.
The only thing that can slow you down is wind resistance, like the parachute he didn't have.

>>731125548
Not if you've picked up the wrong bag. Opening up the pack and deploying dairylea lunchables aint gonna save you

>>731126772
>lunchables fly everywhere
>birds are grateful for your offering and slow you down, eventually carrying you to safety
Checkmate, atheists.

>>731126772
Easy there fugs funny

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>>731126319
>don't know what a scooby is
>google "scooby vehicle"
>it just returns with a bunch of pictures of the scooby doo van
Surely you meant something else, yes?

>>731123194
disprove flat earth theory on facebook live before you hit the ground

Oh I forgot to mention i flew off the bonnet of a corsa onto tarmac at roughly 30 mph when my heels dug in and sent me flipping.

>>731127089
Scooby ... scoobaroo....subie...subaru

>>731127089
Subaru Impretza anon.
It was my mums estate version but it still had a 2.0 turbo under the bonnet.

>>731127233
ah the good ol EJ20
we dont get that motor in the states anymore

>>731124097
I told my instructor to tell me when he was going to open the parachute.
He didn't.
I rag-dolled like a motherfucker. after that my straps became so tight that I lost feeling my my legs, he wanted to loosen them as we were flying. I told him to fuck off and land us.

Other then that I would go again.

>>731127176
Realised that afterward when I had a better look at the search results, I just couldn't be bothered making another post for it.
>>731127233
WRX?

>>731123194
aim for a tree, you might not live, and if you do it fucks you up super bad. It's your best bet.

>>731127397
Yea, she still hasn't forgiven me for writing that off.

My friend skydives and met somebody who lived when neither of his chutes opened. He landed on a steep hill. Bit through his tongue, broke bones and punctured a lung. A jogger found him 5 minutes after he landed

>>731127559
Ah okay. People call them Rexs or Rexxies where I live. They probably say Scoobie, too, but I've never heard it (I don't hang around with many car guys).
Either way sucks that she's mad at you, but at least you made it out okay.

My point still stands.
I'm indestructible, almost immortal.
Who wants a fight?

>>731123194
Pull out your dick and fap for one last time.

>>731127678
>A jogger found him 5 minutes after he landed
Perhaps equally as lucky as surviving the fall itself.

>>731127754
it was 12 years ago and she's not really still mad about that. I've done plenty to piss her off since.

>>731123194
>Radio Guy Behind Me To Video This
>Fully Undress
>Belly Flop That Shit
>Hope To Go Literal SPLAT

>>731127799
Dub dubs confirms best method.
>Take out dick and pray
>"Hear me now, Gaia. Mother spirit of the Earth. Take my seed and grant me life."
>Fap furiously
>Cum forms into parachute
>Tell story to grandchildren
>Everybody wins

>>731127863
lol how old are you and what type of shit are we talking?

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>>731127863
>>731128018
Actually nevermind, I'm heading out to a mate's place. But have yourself a good/day/night/whatever it is where you are and I hope everything goes well for you.

>>731128079
Enjoy yourself, don't do anything I would do anon.
Also I'm britbong and it's morning.

>>731128253
Britbong here aswell

>>731128253
Ausfag and it's evening. Also your list of shit you wouldn't do doesn't exactly leave me safe. Anyway take care mate.

AMA
I genuinly belive I was put on this planet for a reason and powers above are forcing my survival until my duty is done.
I just hope I have to save a kid from drowning rather than be the cause of the next holocaust. But tomato, potato.

>>731123194
masturbats to CP

>>731128543
I've drank battery acid from DD's. If I provided a comprehensive list of thing I do that you probably shouldn't you wrap yourself in bubble wrap.
Kek when you accidentally suffocate yourself.

>>731125548
im glad someone in this thread said it.. ffs. and for better "grip" put your legs and arms through the straps so you wont lose hold of it. ..Even if you still die, atleast you tried something...

>>731129134
>Snaps neck as shoot opens in face.
Atleast you tried something.

>>731123194
I'd take my clothes off and hit the ground naked.

>>731129641
Good plan, what could go wrong?

>>731126606
Nigga u dumb

>>731123194
flip over so when I land, I land straight on my head. No pain, instant death. the worst is going in with feet first.

>>731124783
Skydiver here..
No, there is virtually no fucking way that would work, you would still break pretty much every single bone in your body

>>731125180
Yes, ofcourse he died.. That video was actually posted for learning purposes. He had very few basejumps, and overestimated the efficiency of his wingsuit.
The video was posted online for learning purposes and as a warning to other relatively inexperienced basejumpers

>>731123194

I always got told to cross my legs as it's easier to unscrew you than pull you out of the ground

>>731133296
Why do I care? I'd be dead.

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lets play a game
leak your ex gf
>sn?pch?ty.me
thank me later

>>731133417

Suppose it depends on if you want your mates to celebrate your life after your death or curse you for being a shit

>>731123194
Die

You coil your body up into a ball. Just before hitting the ground, spring open as if you were jumping up. The upwards motion makes it so you will only be falling from a few feet.
Another way is to aim for a steep hillside, and as you get close to ground start running. You'll end up just running down the hill, and can gradually slow down and stop and tip your hat at any pretty ladies passing by.