Hi /b/ What are you doing tonight? Why are you here? What's

Father died recently, gonna go to his funeral in a couple of days

>>730854556
Man, that's hard. Were you close?

Fuck all
it's what I do
not worth telling
why do you subconsciously want to eat a bag of your moms vagina?

>>730854744
It's what I do.
Are you a NEET?

>>730854839
It's 00:41 here

>>730854929
It's 01:42 here, so what?
Tell me why you're so mad.

>>730855060
because it's mating season and I don't have anybody to rape

Today I was observing a psychologist deal with a patient with depression. She was the only survivor of a high speed crash, 3 more people in her car, a couple with one kid in the other. She was a nurse so she was very graphic when she described what she saw. She said her friend was right next to her, it was really disturbing how she described the scene. Her friends brains on the seat, her jaw on the cars floor. She said she wanted to help her friend but she just couldn't bring herself to look, she looked the other way but that didn't stop her from hearing her friend groan. It fucked me up, had to get it off my chest.

>>730855456

It has been a difficult mating season for bird person as well.

>>730855464
Cool (as in cool that you answered, not cool that your friend's friends died ofc). Look up "survivor guilt" if you don't already know about it.
It's really horrible that people get depressed because they got off easy from a dangerous event. Sometimes I feel like empathy can make you have an unhappy life, which sometimes makes me wish I were a psychopath, you know?

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>>730855615
life is difficult

>>730856027
>sometimes makes me wish I were a psychopath
It just takes practice and perseverance. I believe in you, you'll get there someday buddy.

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>>730856204
Thanks man. Genuinely.

>>730856027
I get exactly what you said about psychopathy, it's so tempting to stop caring. Yeah, it's really unfortunate that people feel that way in those situations. She's a very clear case of survivor guilt, she was not driving but she felt like she was responsible, she couldn't explain why. Are you familiar with psychology/psychiatry? Your pic suggests you are

>>730856693
psychopathy can be both a blessing and a curse. lots of people think that it means you just don't care but its more like an on/off switch rather than always stuck at off if that makes sense?

>>730856693
Eh, I wouldn't say I'm familiar with psychology. Freud is pretty much common knowledge.
I've been in therapy a bit, but I don't know anything about being a therapist.

>>730857385
I understand what you say but if it can be switched on or off it's not really psychopathy, it means you know how to detach yourself emotionally. That's an important skill, definitely.

>>730857385
That's how I've heard it being described.
It lets you turn off your empathy for personal gain.
I'm sure it's more complicated than that, but that's what I know.

>>730854423
Gonna look for cool drugs that can be shipped to me via online vendors.

>>730857668
yeah you're probably right there.

>>730857731
Don't trip alone.
Learn about set and setting.
Don't repeat my mistakes, /b/ro.

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I'm here to post my feet in this thread

>>730857555
Yeah, Freud is too famous. First and most important thing about therapy is that it is better is it has nothing to do with Freud, lol. Why did you go to therapy? Do you think it worked?

>>730857704
It is pretty complicated and I even have trouble understanding alot of it but I do it quite regularly, I have empathy for people when I need to and sometimes I find myself asking, "shouldn't I feel bad for this person?" I like hurting people, I try to be a good person despite it, beating the shit out of bullies, I justified hurting them because they were bullies and who tf doesnt hate bullies? but the reality of it is I loved doing it, it's a rush and it feels incredible, I enjoy fucking with people who really deserve it, I could ruin so many lives so easily, i haven't had to because i haven't had cause to but its easy really.

>>730858326
sexy af

>>730858365
Yeah, Freud might have invented it, but he didn't do it right.

I was depressed, so I went to a doctor, who told me to stop drinking, and referred me to a therapist.
It didn't really help much in the end, because I skipped appointments, and wasn't ready to quit drinking. Now I'm down from drinking 4-7 days a week to 0-1, but it's mostly because of circumstances, and not because I'm better. I'm still an alcoholic by heart, but at least I'm progressing in college now.

>>730858739
Alcohol is a much bigger deal than what most people think, nice to know you are doing better, whatever the causes. You keep up the good work, every day it passes the next one is going to get easier. And good luck through college!

>>730854423
Ever had a moment where you're just broken, totally fucked with no idea what to do? today I realized the love of my life had been lying to me for months.

>>730858989
Thanks, bro.
What happened is this:
>never was a drinker but I enjoyed drinking
>drank maybe once a month, maximum in high school
>am "smart", so never learned how to study
>got accepted to a good college because I absorb knowledge like a sponge
>got in with the drinking crowd
>was too lazy to go to most of the lectures (colleges generally don't require attendance in my country)
>also didn't go to lectures because I was hungover quite often
>got into a student group that had a pub every other week, but mostly drank a lot
>hardly studied that year
>had to get a job at burger king because I didn't complete enough shit to continue getting government student loans
>tried to study while working, but just didn't bother, because work, sleep, drinking, and being hungover took up almost all my week
>got kicked out of student housing because I hadn't completed anything for 3/4 of a year
>end up moving back in with my parents, because I don't want ot be homeless
>parents live far away from the city
>can't go out and drink at night, because I can't get home at night
>never got a drivers license before I move out because I couldn't be bothered (also, you need to be 18 to get a license here)
>have to ride with my mom to college every day (thankfully she works close-by)
>forced to study because I can't travel to college after 8 am, and can't leave before 5 pm
>start meds for ADHD again
>start enjoying learning again
>start getting good grades

If my life was a rage comic it would end with "Everything went better than expected", and I actually got my first A today, so I'm pretty hopeful for the future.
Currently celebrating that A with a bottle of Famous Grouse Smoky Black, and some crushed up methylphenidate pills.

>>730860818
Glad things are working out for you anon :)

>>730860818
Well, it looks like you were going on a bad direction but you are back on track, that's an amazing success in my book. I wouldn't get too excited about that bottle and pills, I hope you are sure you have that under control

>>730861222
Thanks a lot.

>>730861372
Thank you too. Pretty sure I've got my shit under control (it's not like you can discern, but whatever). I know I can't be fucked up all day, because I live with my parents, and I won't let them know that I am or have ever been addict.

Theme of my life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow1dznt-RrU

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>>730854423
Just can't stop thinking of this chick and watch her photos, movies and streaming...
I desire her so much.

>>730861927
Who is this? Some camwhore or a youtube vlogger chick?

I plan on doing nothing tonight. Maybe a movie and a pizza.

work is killing me - started Lexapro 2 weeks ago and making me tired AF all the time
need a no-drinking weekend
Got to get some exercise in to beat down the drugs

>>730862914
"Drugs" as in Lexapro, or something else? Whatever, working out is good no matter what.

Anyway, antidepressants typically take at least a month, (and usually longer) to start working, so try to be patient, but remember that you can ask your doctor to switch you to a different antidepressant if Lexapro isn't working for you. I personally hated the increased appetite from mirtazapine. I went up at least 15 lbs. because of that shit. But try to find the right drug for you. Antidepressants are highly personal, and require A LOT of trial and error to find one that suits you.
I personally managed by changing my whole life situation, but that's likely not an option for you.

I've been kinda lucky (see >>730860818), but the best way for me to stop drinking was to limit contact with my drinking buddies.

Good luck bro, and I hope you find a way to persist.

>>730854423
boutta smoke a bowl, kick back, and relax and enjoy the shitstorm of faggotry which is /b/

>>730864530
You in a legal state?
If not how much do you hate the police 1-10?

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listening to music. drinking coke, havent had any in months, p good stuff. wondering when im gonna finally get off my ass and kill myself

>>730854423
it's nearly the rainy season. warm showers and mosquitoes gently tuck in as i sit under a palm-thatched hut with a jar of rye on the rocks. it looks like there's a fog rolling in but i know it's the steam from the factory. latchkey children are rolling steel hoops in the streets like some bygone era. a woman is singing softly in the window across the street. my hands are dirty and bruised. but i'll have to do it all over again tomorrow. that evil job. soon i'll wash the blood off the sink so it doesn't get caked in. and then the night.

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>>730854423
>In relationship with girl for 1 year
>Realize my best mate is getting feelings for her and they were planning to 'alope'
>cheat on her
>go on 3 months after pretending nothing happened
>best mate knew but I didn't know he knew
>they plotted to bang n shit or w/e
>she's living with me has nowhere to go
>waiting till she can get a place of her own
>last day of relationship
>fuck her tell her I love her
>immediately after I cum say "I know"
>had prepacked all her stuff
>called up her Dad to pick her and her shit up >he abuses her
>she's crying
>don't give a fuck
>she tells me she knows I cheated on her
>still don't give a fuck felt betrayed
>best mate now not-so best mate
>they're dating
>turns out best mate is also abusive
>she gets beat by her Dad and her boyfriend
>mfw

>>730864894
Expanding on this
IMO the prohibition on drugs creates more problems than it solves.
Here in Sweden (YES) alcohol is heavily taxed, and only sold through one (state-owned) business. This leads people to travel to Denmark or Germany to get cheap(er) booze, and solves none of the problems associated with alcohol consumption.
I truly believe that making (more or less) all drugs legal will, in the long term, make people less likely to try drugs (because the taboo-coolness is gone), reduce overdoses (through regulated drug strength an purity), and make people more likely to seek help (with increased therapy and substitution programs (eg. methadone) for addicts).

>>730865544
what is that from? also nice dub dubs

>>730866139
it's me

>>730854423
Today my pants ripped in half in front of a herd of people.

I want to die.

>>730866221
i like your prose, anon.

>>730866261
How do your pants just spontaneously rip in half? Sorry, I just don't get it.

>>730866407
Got fatter, pants dont fit quite as well, bent down to pick something up, pants ripped in half.

humiliation.

>>730866308
thanks!

>>730865832
"Elope"
For the love of god, use the dictionary that is built into your phone, or accessible through google.

>>730866553
I'm just retarded fuck, gimme a break

>>730866221
Is that really yours? Sorry for being skeptical, but I wouldn't expect original prose that is *that good* to be posted on /b/ of all places.

If it is yours, please take it as a compliment.

>>730866711
i'm getting trolled but i'll pretend it's real. i wrote it in 3 minutes. thanks

>>730854423
I watched a video of a phychiatrist dealing with a deluded woman who claimed to be dead.
Round and round they went until he had her completely nailed down that she was alive.
And yet, she still insisted she was dead with her very next breath.

Sounds to me a lot like some Republicans I met. Give them absolute proof of something and they still insist it's wrong.

>welfare recipients use their welfare to buy drugs.
Every state that has has tested welfare recipients has found LESS drug use than among the general population.
>Welfare recipients still buy drugs with welfare money.

>We found thousands of WMDs in Iraq
I spend hours proving every single claim false. And when we're finally done....
>We still found thousands of WMDs in Iraq.

I still haven't heard any trump supporter explain exactly what world spanning organization had the prescience to know exactly what kenyan born baby would become POTUS 40 years later.
Without diving into some serious tin helmet bullshit, that is.

On the bus home about to eat chipotle and play some fallout 4
Gonnabegood.jpg

>>730866653
I know. It's not you. It's just so many of those things. Everyone HAS a dictionary, or access to Google. It's just lazy.

Got really high off eddibles
Had this video pop up while on yt
Watch it
GREATESTTHING.wbmd
Strongly suggest watching while high

I'm not even trying to troll don't watch it before hand cause it'll spoil it it's really great if you don't belive me look at the comments and you'll know it's safe

https://youtu.be/EgRCa_zuM1I

HAVE FUN DUDES

>>730866853
I really don't wanna derail this thread into politics, but I really wanna respond to this

>>welfare recipients use their welfare to buy drugs.
>Every state that has has tested welfare recipients has found LESS drug use than among the general population.
IIRC the end result of testing welfare recipients for drug use was that it cost so much to test everybody that there wasn't much money left to give to "drug free" people. That is, it's more economical to just give everyone welfare, because testing everyone means that more money is wasted to test people than what is "saved" by not giving addicts money.

That being said, I'm very "pro-addicts". ie. I'd rather try to actively help addicts become drug free, than to actively try to degrade and make life hard for them as a shitty "motivation" for them to stop using.

>>730867572
Oh man, that's an oldie. I remember seeing this years ago. I might've seen a version with a different audio track, but it's still really cool that you posted this!
It takes me back.

>>730867840
State of Tenessee passed legislation that specified anyone testing positive would automatically lose their welfare.
The state promised their voters that their program would kick enough people off welfare to pay for the tests.
>the state tested thousands and only found 10 positives.
The state taxpayer was on the hook for millions of dollars that was never budgeted.

>>730865832
You dick I pissed my pants that ending

>>730868043
I'm really glad you liked it anon I've been meaning to make a thread of it probably will soon

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Australian visiting my father in the country side, on /b with my phone. Live off Australia's cush welfare, life's pretty good.

>>730867840
II wanna add on to this

That whole view stems from thinking that either, addicts are themselves wholly responsible for getting addicted, and/or that addicts are worthy of less support than """normal""" people.
In my opinion addiction is a psychological disease that has both genetic and environmental risk factors, with the environmental risk factors being MUCH more important than the genetic ones.
Sure some kid can grow up in a crack ghetto and end up becoming a doctor, but the likelihood of doing something worthwhile with your life is massively lower if you grow up with addict parents in an area where basically everyone is an addict and help for addicts is shitty.
What the fuck are you gonna do if ma and da smoke crack all day and you and your friends biggest dream is becoming a high-level crack dealer? You're either going to become a dealer, increasing the supply, or becoming an addict increasing the demand.

>>730868654
Here, have some classic must-listen stoner metal!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My8T8vTYaZ8

>>730868240
Tn was the most extreme case.
Idaho legislature got smart. After seeing themselves proven wrong in Florida, Tn, and Mo, Idaho writes it into their law that releasing positive rates to the public would be a felony.
To this day, I still have no idea what their rate is. Only that it's costing them more to test than they're saving by kicking people off welfare.

>>730854423
Is good. I'm chubby fat but been hiking constantly for the past 2 months, losing weight getting stronger. Lost my friends because they think I'm being vain...Which yeah I want to look good and be healthy. Recently there is this really hot af girl who I see jogging there all the time, now she stops to chat, we chat longer and longer as the days go by.

Might be something there.

>>730868240
>>730869020
The "problem" is that (IIRC) most hard drugs don't stay in your system for long, which makes sense because rapid input, ie. a strong rush, makes a drug addictive, enjoyable, and "hard", and also usually coincides with rapid output.
The only drug I can think of off the top of my head that doesn't conform to this is weed, but weed generall isn't considered a hard drugp

>>730865832
idk if you're the good guy in this story

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Woke up tired. Went through day until depression kicks in. Skips Gym and stay at home. Cousin wants to play videogames but i say to her i want to be alone for now.
She understands, it's not the first time i block everyone to remain alone for a whole day. After hearing some chill music and already tired of thinking about shit, i decide to look what new porn i can find.
Went through FunnyJunk, because of habit. Then came here to here. It's been pretty chill actually. Just rolled on a "You woke up as a girl, roll to see if you're lucky" and got a pretty nice result.
So i got that going for me...

>>730869482
Dude, if your friends are ignoring you because you're working out, they've gone full crab mentality, and you shouldn't care about them.
Good on you for working out!

I started reading rules of the game again. I think I gave up on it like on day 5 last time I read it.

Mission one is to strike small talk with five strangers, which is really hard when you know pretty much everyone at your job, and I can't find a reason to get out of my house.

Currently feeling like shit because my closest bro takes forever to get back to me, and for some reason I feel like I need more time in advance to talk to the girls I usually text.

>>730854423
Waiting to go to my friends house in the hood. May fuck his sister. May buy some herb. Homeless waiting to join a lease here in half a month and do finding any excuse to not sleep in my car. Hitting up the college town near me and the main city err day while i do temp work. Reading Ben Shapiro's "The People v. Obama". Das me.

>>730860065
she's not the love your life. The love of your life wouldn't lie to you for months. The love of your life is somewhere out there.

it's really important to keep that in mind. There's no such thing as "the one"

>>730865369
same here. when will i fucking do it, it's already so late

>>730870633
Are you talking about the book by Neil Strauss? If so, I'm gonna be blunt.
It looks like redpill trash marketed to insecure teenagers who haven't found their way yet, and I'm guessing that you're roughly about 16-20 years old.

These books don't teach you how to be successful with women, they teach you how to be a manipulative asshole.

I can't teach you how to get laid (I can't get fucking laid myself), but I can tell you that the whole redpill philosophy is toxic, and will, at best, get you an insecure girl who will initially bow to your demands, but will end up hating you as time goes en.

My advice to you is to try to not see society as some kind of battle between men and women. You'll wan't to cast away your preconception of what an ideal woman is, and just try to find a best friend who happens to be a woman that you can fuck.

Try to see women as equals. I honestly have problems with this myself. I still see women as "others" that require special treatment and consideratian. But I can tell you this: Women are 99% the same as men, and you form friendships with them the same ways as you do with men. If you're like me, you internally freeze up when talking to women, and rethink everything everything you say lots of times. This isn't needed. I promise you that you can find a girl that's just like you without overthinking everything.

>>730865369
>>730871906
Sorry if I seem judgmental or too direct, but do you have any friends or family?
I realize this doesn't work for everybody, but the reason I'm not killing myself right now is because I love my friends and family too much. I mentioned this earlier (I think), but i had a pretty crappy 4-ACO-DMT (shroom analogue) trip that left me crying, and made me realize that my buddies actually like me and don't deserve seeing me die.
I don't recommend tripping if you're depressed, FYI. See a therapist if you wanna kill yourself.
A trip could easily end up with you *really* wanting to kill yourself.

>>730872608
yes, I'm talking about that book. The reason I began reading it is because an old college friend of mine recommended it to me. He's not really an asshole, so I took his word for it.

Sadly I'm 26. Well not sadly, but not quite what you'd have guessed from my post.

I actually don't have that big of a problem talking to girls, I was in a relationship for like 2 years. I've been out of one for 2 as well.

my problem is that I don't really come across people. So I can't really meet new people. I lack the drive to message girls from dating apps.

>>730870258
What I thought as well. I have not a single friend now, but fuck it, I'll make more.

>>730854423

My belly fucking hurts, I think I should've ate something before people went to sleep instead of just drinking a glass of milk and coffee, now I don't want to walk up to the kitchen and wake them up. Fuck me.

Also, need to record some shit for a school assingment due to Tuesday, I'm nervous as fuck and I will have to wake up at 9:00 AM tomorrow, but I cant bring myself to sleep yet. Its 12:08 PM now. Its gonna require me to do some funny shit and such, I'm scared it will look too rushed. And I'm also gonna have to edit it on Sunday. Its gon be so hard and so tiring. Luckily Monday is gonna be a holiday.

I'm so unsettled and my head is starting to hurt. I think I should just embrace my bead and try to pass out on it, use it as a way to dodge the pain.

I just hope everything goes alright and no one gets a bad grade because we left this recording deal for too late. I mean, doing things on the last minute and not getting rekt is so weirdly good. I always feel like I got off better than those who worked hard for days on end because I did like way less work. Thats probably why I keep getting myself into these situations.

Please God let this be a decent assignment people are counting on me.

gf of 3 years and i recently split, trying to figure stuff out. she needs time to think. im an emotional wreck. this girl and i have been through everything from miscarriage to her watching my mother die with me. i love the fuck out of her /b, and im scared it wont work out. i dont eat, i dont care about work anymore. im attending therapy because im so fucked up over this and other shit thats happened in my life that i just never dealt with. everyday i wake up alone in what used to be an apartment filled with love. every night i lay down i realize im alone. i havent been on 4 chan in nearly 3 years.... im super fucked up and dont know how to carry on if this doesnt work out. this shit is the fucking worst, and i keep making it worse because im so fucking freaked out we wont be back together.

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>>730873607
(im the guy drinking the coke) no i have no irl friends and have completely cut off all internet friends about 8 months ago. my family is nothing valuable and their help is nonexistent. im not some faggy nihilist who thinks they wont be distraught or care, they obviously will be really inconvenienced, it's just that living solely for people is hard, and living solely for people who seem to barely care about you is even harder.

>>730869012
Wow that's great

>>730873607
>i had a pretty crappy 4-ACO-DMT (shroom analogue) trip that left me crying, and made me realize that my buddies actually like me and don't deserve seeing me die.
>I don't recommend tripping if you're depressed, FYI. See a therapist if you wanna kill yourself.
>A trip could easily end up with you *really* wanting to kill yourself.
I appreciate the fuck out of you for this. The number of fucking times I've heard "just try shrooms" or "weed lmao" drives me up the fucking wall. People who act like drugs of any type are the fucking third coming just bug the shit out of me.
And I swear to Christ, hearing "But weed isn't addictive!" just... You... You DO realize that addiction is largely mental, right? That's why relapses happen.

Humans make me wish I was a fucking Vulcan, sometimes. You, you're one of the decent ones.

>>730874283
I care about you anon

>>730874229
where do you live?

shit sucks. my first serious relationship lasted about 3 years. It's been two years since then, and I'm still single. She was single for like a month. we are all friends.

I've been single because I'm an autistic fuck, though, I'm pretty sure that won't happen to you. Things will get better man. I'm single, but things are better.

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>>730873736
Yeah, I don't know how to meet people either, so I can't help you on that front

>>730873857
Are you in college or are your working?

>>730874449
thanks, brah. maybe if the afterlife is a real thing we can share a root beer float if we both make it there
>tfw ill get there first and have to wait for you

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Do you like hentai op?

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>>730874023
Yeah, I know that feel. I can't for the life of me bring myself to go to bed on time. I'm genuinely suspecting I have circadian rhythm sleep disorder.
It's like my body is made to sleep from 4 am to 13 pm, and I don't know how to fix this shit.
The last four months I've slept 5 hours on average on weekdays, and slept 12-15 hours on weekends.

>>730873736
I talk to quite a few people and all you really have to do is go to a bar or store you like and start with some small talk. Bring up something you like about them or something along those lines. If half way through it's working out ask if she would like to hang out if she says no insist in a sincer voice that she is a really cool and down to earth person and you feel like it would be fun to get to know someone. Now if there still saying no just say that it was nice talking to them and that you hope to bumb into them someday. Never act forceful or push the boundary, this is hard cause everyone's different but I guarantee witg practice you will get it

>>730874506
Illinois. it's fucking awful man. i was going to propose next month.... shit came out of left field blind sided me. she was there for some of the hardest shit ive ever been through in my life (27). i legitimately can not picture a life without her. its all i can do to stomach waking up and eating enough to not die (docs have me on remeron? (spelling?) to try and help for right now. i hope she figures herself out. at the end of the day i want her to be happy, but for me she's "the one".

>>730874364
Thanks for that! I wrote that reply you're replying to, and you took the words right out of my mouth.

Wouldn't it be awesome to be able to turn off your feelings? FUCK.

>>730875543
Stay awake for the whole night stress your body out all day and when you get back home go to bed on time and you'll (hopefully) go to bed on time. I do it every time i go to Australia and the Jetlag hits me. Hope I could oh helped dude

>>730875599
damn, this reminds me of "was it something I said?" by the brandon flowers. It sounds like a sad sucky songs, but at the end of the day when it comes to marriage it's better to end it before it starts. From one anon to another, I hope she figures herself too. I know we don't know each other, but I want you to be happy.

>>730875543
Shit happens. The worst is my circadian rhythm thingie is long gone. It used to be like that 2 years ago but now If I touch my bed after 11 pm I fucking die on it. Dont know why I'm having such a hard time falling asleep today. Maybe its my god damn belly grumbling. Gonna try to ninja my way into the kitchen and eat then sleep, otherwise I'm gonna be so tired tomorrow the recording is gonna be made with me all lazy and fucked up, which will make it way shittier than it has to be.

Wish me luck.

>>730875569
I'm going to a bar tonight. first time going out in a while. I go out with no expectations. Just testing the water.

All the chicks i get into are always in a relationship.

>>730875543
That makes you susceptible to 'microsleeps', anon. Real bad while driving or operating any other equipment, like a lawnmower.

>>730874283
I'm guessing you're working full time right now?

Can you get into some free-time thing where you can meet people?
I've heard that working for a charity is really good for meeting people, and it'll look good on your resume!

>>730876410
nah, im a leeching NEET who never leaves the house and rarely my room. plus i have severe social anxiety that would probably take months to even begin the fixing process

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>>730876039
i appreciate that my anonymous friend. it's like i dont know how to be happy without her. i poured everything into our relationship, and for the first time in my miserable fucking life i felt happy. seeing her happy was what kept me going....and now knowing i dont make her happy while this is going on...is heart breaking to say the least. i had like a panic attack last night thinking itll never workout. im so fucked in the head, and the only thing i know for certain is i love her.... your kind words mean a lot...

>>730874229
Good on you for going to therapy! It's pretty hard to realize that you need it, and it's even harder to dare to sign up for therapy. I believe that you're doing your best to get better.

Auxillary question: You think getting back together with is a no-go?

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>>730873607
HAHAH i'm on 4-aco-dmt right now
50mg

Things are getting pretty weird.

>>730875002
I like hentai as long as it isn't loli or shota.
I still fap to loli seldomly but it feels wrong.

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>>730877147
luckily a friends mother took me to my first session otherwise i probably never wouldve gone (when my mom died in 2014 it seemed like some of my friends moms stepped in to be mother like figures for me).

i dont know if we'll be back together. she says she loves me and wants to be with me, but she needs to be okay with herself. shes struggling hard internally as well. every dude she ever dated before me was a pos and her mom is a garbage person (perpetually high or constantly taking ambien, doesnt work, leeches off husband, just a bunch of terrible qualities). im trying not to scream everytime i see her "I LOVE YOU NOTHING ELSE MATTERS COME BACK", but its hard. id give my left arm for her, 10 years off my life. ive realized the harsh truth that she not only doesnt need me to be happy, but i cant ever make her feel a certain way or do anything... im giving this my ALL. therapy, medicine, whatever i have to do to be okay and get to where i need to be. i tried to take myself out to eat yesterday, i was seated in a corner alone surrounded by families and happy couples. after 5-10mins of trying to eat i just left, couldnt take it. i feel like a whiny bitch because i keep breaking down and its like i dont know how to function alone.

>>730854423
idgaf if i'm not to believed but i'll give you a tl;dr of my situation since i'd have to write a book so it'd make sense

I'm victim of criminal harassment(what i found to be most accurate to what i'm actually going thru), everything started inside of my family and has blown way out of proportions and has been on going for over a decade(almost 2)

I'm constantly being harassed, stalked and followed and i have a reputation(gossipmongering which is propaganda tier) of being: a schizophrenic, paranoid, homosexual, bisexual, a mysogynist, psychopath, pathological liar, nutcase, religious zealot, leftist, etc...

Thing is i'm not any of that bullshit and i constantly have to deal with this bullshit and i've got to know that people are doing it so i end up snapping and do something that could have me land in a nuthouse

I'm more anti-social and misanthrope that i've ever been in my life

Fuck

I'm currently a bit tipsy atm

>>730876008
I've tried stayng up all night lots of times, and what usually happens is that i sleep for 9-12 hours, and don't get tired 'til 2 am the next day.
I swear I'm gonna request a therapist for this shit the next time I have a chance.
,
Another problem is that I take ADHD medication (54 mg methylphenidate extended release), and it hits me way too hard if don't sleep enough.

>>730854629
Yeah, he was my half-brother too.

>>730877377
Isn't 50 mg a lot if you are micro-dosing?

I'm pretty sure a tolerance-free person would get a medium-hard trip from 50 mg.

If I misunderstood you, and you and you are #fulltripping on that dose, then sure, that's a great starting dose.
Good on you for weighing your shit btw. I just eyeballed my shit (DON'T DO THIS, FUCKING TEENAGERS. DON'T BE AS RETARDED AS ME!!!), and ended up redosing and taking doses that were way too high.

>>730867572
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/358928

>>730878092
Fuck. Thisk sounds bad, and I feel for you.

I've never had a girfriend (like most people on /b/ kek), but one of my best mates (who absolutely unconditionally loves his gf) had to take a "pause" with his gf. They split up for a couple of months,, but they're together again now, and I've never heard somebody express as much love as he did for his then-ex.

I hope four ex will reconsider, like my friend's gf did.
But...
You know your ex better that I do, so I can't predict what she'll do.

I hope she reconsiders, if you're up for it

>>730879398
Man, this is older than me. Mad props.

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>>730880391
i wouldnt trade any of our experiences or memories for anything. i wasnt aware i was capable of loving another human being like this. ive only loved 2 people this much in my life, one being my mother who was a saint rip, and the other being her. the thought of losing her... man idk. i appreciate the kind words and i will keep giving this shit my all... i wont allow myself to give up hope

fuck love

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>>730881365
i used to feel the same way man, but hopefully one day youll meet someone who changes that mindset

>>730882146
no i agree with anon. love is bullshit.