Have you ever met a celebrity? I saw Ryan Gosling at a grocery

>>730661752
stale pasta

>>730661752
was he a real human bean?

>>730661752
I met Randy Bachman from Bachman Turner Overdrive when he pulled me off the cab of a bulldozer while I tried to kill the operator with a breaker bar. Met Carlos Santana at a barbecue at Mr. Bachmans place about a month later.

>>730661882
Welcome to /b/. You're ours now. Here's what you can expect.
You'll stay for a while, see a few threads, laugh a bit, and see a few odd things. You'll bookmark the place for further amusement. This is where it all begins.
Before too long, you'll find yourself checking on 4chan in increased frequencies. First it'll happen occasionally during the week. Then once every day or so. Then more frequently. You'll find yourself checking on it twice a day. Three times. Once per hour. Before you know it, you'll be browsing it for hours at a time.
Slowly, your life will take a back-seat to /b/. You'll find yourself forgetting to call people. You'll be late for work because you'll be reading legendary threads. Slowly, your life will decline into a mindless chaos.
As /b/ and 4chan slowly consume your mind, your humor will be replaced with our humor. You'll become glued to /b/. It'll be the only place you feel accepted. And then, you'll start accepting the weirder conventions. You'll find yourself fapping to loli, furry, guro, and all sorts of odd things you used to find disgusting. But now it'll all be commonplace for you, as a normal part of your life. Your personality.
And then, someday down the road, you'll realize what has happened to you. Your loved ones will have left you. You'll be alone. Unemployed. Struggling to survive. And worst of all, you'll be hooked. You won't be able to fight it, because we will be all you know, and all you remember. You'll slowly dissolve into madness, or mindless stupidity. Whichever comes first. And then, one day, you will snap, and all remains of your former self will be crushed under our weight.
Welcome, my friend. Welcome, my brother.
Welcome to your new home.
Welcome to /b/

>>730662164
details, man.

/b/ - Random
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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>>730661752
Met Emma Stone and she gave me a kiss on the cheek. Feelsgoodman

>>730662561
*autistic works of fiction and falsehood

I cooked dinner for Pantera. They came into the restaurant I worked at and ate the day before they played Ozzfest, was either 2000 or 2001

>>730662852
>2000
Yeah right they weren't even born then stupid

I met Shaq at a taco restaraunt.

Ausfag here, got into a fight with an AFL player called Brendan Fevola. He was pissed as fuck and kept trying to step on people's heels, so we rumbled for a bit. Was sick.

>Band formed in 1981
>Claims they weren't born yet in 2000
>Calls the other guy stupid

Pro move there, boss

>>730662490
So I was 13 and helping my dad at work. He's a field mechanic for heavy equipment, still is to this day. We went out to a bulldozer that was having a hydraulic problem, the left side hydraulic piston was kicking awkwardly and not moving right. The right side was completely fine, so it had to be a problem with the piston. We told the operator to go fuck off until we told him it was all good. He shouldn't care, he's paid by the hour. So my dad tells me to take the piston out, gives me tools, then fucks off to get a replacement part in his work truck. I got the piston partly out and I was planning my next maneuver. My back was against the dozer blade and I had the piston on my chest, trying to see if I could slide it under the arms of the dozer or if I would have to go over. I hear the door on the cab slam shut so I yell. Fucker couldn't hear me and turns the dozer on. I fucking scramble from under there while he cranks that blade. The loose piston pushes its way up the blade a little, catches on something, loud hissing, BANG. FUCKING DIRT EVERYWHERE. THE PISTON IS BURIED IN THE DIRT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BLADE. All I heard was blood pumping and ringing. I jumped up on the machine yelling my lungs out and tried to open the door to the cab. Faggot locked it. Then I realized I was still holding my breaker bar so I smashed in his window and started swinging at the mother fucker. Well, Mr. Bachman was a grader hand, well retired from music at this point, and he jumped out of his grader and dragged me off of the dozer until I calmed down. Turns out he liked my fire, invited me and my dad to a barbecue at his place.

Carlos Santana spilled a beer on me, we spent the whole barbecue throwing beer at each other. He was chill as fuck.

One of Vanilla Ice's daughters was in my Kindergarten class in FL, Dusty was her name if I remember. I was so young then I didn't know who he was and he came to the Father's day class party and my DSD bumped into him in the front office apparently.

>>730663051
Fucking children

>>730664752
>DSD
I ment dad oops.

>>730664831
Kek, that would have been cool as shit.

>>730661949
Underrated post

Met Bob Dylan at a hotel bar in Fla
Met Sting at a resort
Met and went up on stage with the amazing johnathan

Dam I have lived a full life

>>730665176
The amazing Jonathan the magician? You lucky fucker.

>>730664892
It was right before the marriage issue he had.

Looking Dusti online right now and she's hot AF! Puberty hit her hard.
https://www.instagram.com/dusti_rain/

>>730661752

Fingered Sarah Silverman at some place in Greenpoint, Brookyn. Her vagina was strong and grabbed at my index finger hungrily. or... you know what.... Jonathan. It was that guy Jonathan Silverman. Nice fella. Old Spice guy.

>>730665328
Tbh she looks like an insufferable cunt to me

>>730665518
>look at yourself
>now look at me
>now back at yourself
>where are we?
>we're in my bedroom
>and you could be having the sex you've always dreamed of
>look at your clothes
>they're gone
>back to me
>now I'm behind you
>my dick is in your ass
>*old spice whistle*

>>730665536
Yeah your probably right. The more I look at her it looks like she has the stuck up rich kid syndrome, she drives a Jaguar for Christ sakes and she's only 19!

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>>730665283
>e
I tipped $20 at the door to get a good seat and ended up on stage

Met travis barker. Hands down my favorite drummer and why I started.
>>be me 18yo
>>walking around downtown Disney with bro
>>cousin calls me
>>Dude Travis barker is at the Disney store hurry!
>>run over and spot him
>>wait a bit because I don't want to bug him but see other people talking to him
>>when they're done go over
>>chill as fuck and tell him I play because of him
>>tells me "keep playing man and you'll get there if you truly love it" or something like that
>>ask for a pic and he's cool with it
Dude was fucken legit. This was after I think blink reunited after there hiatus.
I think he was with shanna, his ex wife. And she was dogging everyone talking to him

>>730661752
Gets me every time...

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It never gets old op kek

>>730665817
It's a Ferrari California and a Mercedes G wagon. Roughly $150,000 per car. Takes tons of glamorous pictures like she's famous in her own right, edited pictures to have money rain down, has pictures of rings and possessions but no friends or activities. I'm thinking borderline personality disorder, possibly bipolar, definitely narcissistic.

Just not my cup of tea, makes easier hunting for the anons that want to destroy it though.

>>730665851
Baller as fuck

>>730661752
I played a little baseball catch with Alan Sheppard when I was a kid.

walked around LA high as fuck and tripping on real lsd with a friend of mine with a third guy being the sober tripsitter. We got tacos, went to a bar at 2pm, then we left the bar and on our way out I saw who I thought was Jack Black, but I figured I was tripping. As we got closer I saw it was in fact Jack Black and he was chuckling and said "hey buddy, you havin a good trip?" I said yes, and he laughed and tried blowing my mind by asking me about the fractal nature of reality and the underlying truth hiding behind the facade, etc and I played along as best as I could and brought up typical psychonaut banter. Jack was amused, then he said "I gotta go pal, have a great trip" and he gave me a giant hug and then walked away.

The sober tripsitter confirmed it was indeed Jack Black.

I saw micheal keaton at a hotel in the middle of no where when i was 6. I then proceeded to run through every floor of the hotel yelling "BATMAN BATMAN" He never did come out..... Cant imagine why

>>730668167
Jack black is fucking adorable

>>730661752
I met Andy Dick on my 21st birthday in Portland... fell on Easter that year so everything was closed expect this dive near the Thirsty Lion was closed. He came in made a flashy entrance and ended up playing pool with us until he got thrown out for stealing drinks. I didn't ask for pictures he was so gone, I felt sorry for him. You used to people able to find stories about it online where Portland got credit for ruining his sobriety having just come off celebrity rehab. Also no pic... but if I was lying why would I pick Andy Dick... He fondled my friends gf -_-

Work in hotels in a few countries have met or seen a few celebs

Coolest person ever was Henry Winkler. He was just a first class decent guy. Stayed with us a few days, kept running into him, always with the 'hi anon, how you doing today?' he treated me like an old friend. Would shake my hand each day and there was always a 20 in there. i was like man you don't need to do that, just the fact you remember my name impresses me enough. I think he took a shine to me because I didn't give a fuck or talk about happy days. Topic of conversation was always fly fishing

Bout 10 years ago was in a Ralph's in WeHo. Saw Scarlett Johanson. I wasn't sure it was her but it created a little buzz and people were talking about her. Walked past her in the aisle a couple of times. I had the hots for her but IRL was a total disappointment. To be fair she looked like had the flu, wearing drab grey sweats, scuffed dirty while trainers, her skin was pale, spotty, red nose. I'm sure she was even carrying tissues.

>>730665518
Made me kek

About 9 or 10 years ago (21 now) I went to a WWE show and happened to be staying in the same hotel the wrestlers were. Most were cool, big show, Rey mysterio, edge etc all took pictures and autographs in the hotel lobby with people. That morning I was going down to the gym with my dad, was waiting for him to get changed when I went into the gym myself and randy orton was in there. I kinda stared at him from afar tbh but didn't go near him but then he waved me over so I did, then told me to never look at him. The security came over and he told them to get me out of there. At the time I was pretty disappointed but looking back I can see why he might have been annoyed and was probably staying in character as a heel.

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>>730668312
Best proof I have

>>730661752
No way, i saw ryan gosling at a grocery store in LA, too. He was helping bag groceries until someone spilled some spaghetti in aisle 5 so he went to mop it up. Later i saw him outside during his break, i went over tp bum a smoke. He seemed cool. Then i hopped into my flying car to battle the space dinosaurs.

I blew my load in Kelsey Grammer's crapper behind an Arby's. At least I think it was him.

>>730662490
Doesn't even sound believable faggot.

>>730661752
I met Patrick Wilson at a Chick-Fil-A in my hometown a few years ago. I was behind him in line and told him something like "Hey Mr. Wilson, you're one of my favorite actors, I love your work," other dumb fangirly shit. I thought he might just nod and ignore me but he was actually super genuine, told me the compliment meant a lot and asked if I wanted to get a picture before he picked up his food.

>>730669356
Is that the volleyball from castaway?

>>730669301
Wait a minute, do you not believe the guy that wants details?

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>>730661752
I don't believe you

I met brill corsby. I was at a pool hall late one night a few years back. He came in looking for cock and wound up blowing some dude in the bathroom. He tried to shake my hand after he came out of the bathroom but I pulled my hand away. He sat at the bar and drank a beer by himself and then turned 360 degrees and walked away.

>>730668167
>>730668278

Jack black was filming in my piece of shit town. Just for a couple weeks, lots of people report sightings. I never see him
One evening enter my fav fish n chip place. Its empty so while I'm waiting talk to the guy behind counter. Notice autograph picture of Jack on the wall with a msg like 'love your food, it makes my tummy happy signed Doctor JB.

I asked when that went up,
> 'oh man, just last week, he's here all the time'.
> say, damn I really want to see the dude, he's a legend, so bummed.
> Shopkeep looks at me like I'm a tard.
'> what????
> 'he was just here now'
> ???
> you SAW him man
> wtf you on about, there was no one here
> he was just walking out when you came in!

Mfw Jack held the door for me and I didn't know it was him. Didnt even say thank you. Sorry Jack, the for holding the door open for me.

>>730661752
i believe you OP

>>730661752
I was at an event/party with him once, unlikeable prick.

I keyed Dan Rather's car.

met charlie murphy at a stand up show, dude is actually pretty hilarious and nice as fuck.
also met the john hannah at the dmv last week, dude was getting a motorcycle license

True story: In 1991 when Daniel Stern was super famous for being in Home Alone, my wife and I veered off the road during a thudnerstorm and popped our tire on the curb. Out of nowhere, a stranger pulled up and insisted on changing our tire in the rain while we stayed warm and dry in the car.

>>730670460
Was it him?

>>730670538
We never got a chance to find out. He was wearing a hooded rain jacket that obscured his face, and he left with nothing more than a friendly wave goodbye.

>>730661949
and a real hero...

>>730663427
wow...

>>730670538
No.

But I just really really liked Home Alone at the time.*
>>730670565
* Hope you don't letting me field this one mang

Go back to /tv/ you unfunny faggot.

>>730662561
>t.Retard

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>>730668278
>adorable
Jack Black is a fucking retarded cunt that makes scatjazz noises in just about every movie. Fuck that giant coagulated gravy hotdog bun bastard.

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I had a catch with Chase Utley

>>730661752
Kek

>>730663427
do you always get baited this easily?

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>>730670717

Met R Lee Ermey at DFW airport once with my best friend and my Dad years ago.
It wasn't a long encounter but he had a long chat with my dad (who was in the military for 16 years) so they had plenty of stuff to talk about, I was just kind of standing back didn't really know what to do with myself, never met a celebrity before
I shook his hand though, he was a cool dude, and he ended up thanking my dad for his service, and gave him a coin with his face engraved on it with the words "This one's mine" on it.
I thought it was badass, so my dad gave it to me for my sixteenth birthday. I kept it in my wallet, but I ended up losing that wallet too. Still pissed about that.

Will Smith came to a wedding at the catering place I used to work at. Most employees werent allowed to approach him, but he did get up and sing along to Juicy by Biggie. Was p cool, seemed like a nice dude

>>730664435
Bachman worked construction after retiring from bto? Bullshit

>>730662164
Was he takin' care of business?

A few times being in the same room as a celebrity

I saw Jamie Lee Curtis, a friend worked at an ice cream shop she would visit whenever she was in town. She brought a group of kids every time, the kids had one of those long term mildly debilitative conditions. She was striking/almost gorgeous. This was after True Lies but before she started doing Activia commercials.

When I was in college, I worked at the same ice cream shop (the sorority girls all came there a lot, and we traded ice cream for movie tickets and food with nearby businesses). Ron Perlman came in, he was in town for some event for fans. No one else recognized him, but I'm a Hellboy fan and knew he was in town for the event.

When I lived in LA I was in a bar that Johny Depp was in, no one bothered him and it looks like he tipped the bartender generously. I think he was waiting for someone to pick him up.

>>730666296
Don't forget the F type

>>730661752
Maria Sharapova's vagina tastes like almonds

Met System of a Down at my friend's house
Met Ozzy briefly
Met Billy Corgan
Jammed with At The Drive In
Spit in Deadmau5 face, fought him backstage
Fought Borgore
Battled Bassnectar
Battled Excision
Met Roger Waters
Met Danny Carey at the 'Tater
Met Maynard at his birthday party at the Greek
Met Adam Jones at the Moonlight Rollerway
Met Blair at Necromancy on Melrose
Still haven't met Justin...

Met Sasha Grey at Geisha House
Met Remy Lacroix at a house party
Met Dillon Harper at a rave
Met Ava Hardy at Gelsons

Met Dave Franco at his acting studio
Met Jonah Hill, Seth Rogan, and Jay Baruchel at Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles
Met the entire cast of The Office at their set
Met David Duchovny on Hollywood Blvd
Met Jeff Goldblum on Melrose

Trying to think of more, but AMA about any of the above

>>730671370
>seemed like a nigger

FTFY

>>730672128
What was Billy Corgan like, what mental state was he in, and what year was that?

Was Sasha fun or fake intellectual?

>>730672128
My buddy worked with Deadmau5 at a club in vegas, I heard hes a huge prick

I met the everyone from one direction at the local mall. I went to pick up black ops 2 when they were doing autographs and pictures that day. Only shook hands with them didn't have anything on me. Was pretty cool.

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>>730661752
>>730661949

You give me a time and a place, I give you a five minute window. Anything happens in that five minutes and I'm yours. No matter what. Anything happens a minute either side of that and you're on your own. Do you understand?

>>730672128
any interesting storys?

>>730671572
Every day

Emma Watson filmed a movie at my high school. I was an extra. She said "excuse me" and brushed against me as she walked by me once

>>730672376
Solid.

>>730672242
Billy was pretty dismissive and bored tbh. It was after a show for his solo project that nobody cared about, the venue held about 1500 and maybe 50 people showed up, so he was less than enthusiastic about meeting people at the time.

I actually met Sasha at a business meeting. Some guy I was supposed to build a website for brought her as his date. My date was 5 inches taller, 3 cup sizes bigger, and still had a soul, so Sasha was really bitchy and uppity and kept holding "sexy" eye contact with me and overtly hanging on my every word just to see if she could piss off my girl. I passed on the job. Free meal tho.

>>730672128
the 'tater?
that the baked potato by the 101?

>>730672759
Oh fuck was that Zwan or whatever it was called?

That was not a great album sadly

>>730662221
copy pasta has never tasted as true

>>730672259
Yeah he's a little bastard. An event company I worked for booked him, 80k for a 90 minute set. After his set, I loudly mentioned that his set wasn't worth gas money, and I'd like to see him hump a set of 1200s like he humped his pre-mixed Ableton set. He got in my face, I spit my jack and coke in his face and we fought until security pulled us apart. Good times.

>>730670428
Didn't he die this month?

>>730661752

You should have shit in your hand and wiped it on his top lip.

Last celeb that blew me off got punched in the fucking face, twice. Granted, it was only Shannon Noll, but I loved punching that cunt anyway.

>>730672854
The very same. Danny plays occasionally, about once every other month. Its worth $20 to sit 6 feet away from a multi-platinum bad ass while he wails on some mind-obliterating jazz-fusion.

>>730673266
Get off your crazy horse

>>730670378
If true, that's fucking awesome! Fuck Dan Rather!

>>730672994
Zwan! Yup, thats what it was. Just horrible, the album and the show.

>>730663051

Dickhead.

I stage dived off the newy ent cent stage, then thrashed around with Rex 5 mins later. My mate lost his two front teeth same night. Phil was fucking pissed at the security for it as well. Also that gay cunt from Silverchair got sconed with a full water bottle, epic rating of +9000

Go to bed kid.

>>730664435

Brool corey sto.

Love your work.

Met Sean Connery years ago, he was promoting a movie. Short little fucker

>>730673105

Gods work anon.

Question. I'm trying to figure out if you have a public profile. If any of us tards met you at a kinko or starbucks or some shit would we be posting about it ITT?

>>730672128
Fought Borgore?
Battled Bassnectar???? How is he like?
Are Jonah Hill and seth Rogan cool people , same question for Dave Franco

How do you manage to meet so many people

>>730673432
Pity; Mellon Collie was the soundtrack of my high school years; Ava Adore and Machina were okay... but Zwan was just crap.

>>730669223
so fucking dumb but still lost

>>730673349

That cockbag was standing in the entrance to my mates club screaming "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM" I told him I didn;t give a fuck and smacked him twice.

Get a dog up ya cunt.

>>730673308
very cool. hung out there once with a friend. pretty cool to rub shoulders with a bunch of millionaire big wigs in the recording industry that were there that night.

>>730673681
Yeah I heckled Borgore at EDC the first year it was in Vegas. He was laptop-DJing and I don't stand for that shit. After his set, he came down from the stage, found me, punched me in the stomach, I punched him in the face, got him on the ground and wailed on his ribs and kidneys until security dragged me away. I was back inside in time to see Richie Hawtin.

Bassnectar is a coked-out faggot, which sucks because I used to really admire his music. He was great when he was taking acid, then touring wore him down and he switched to coke and lost his soul. I was DJing the after party for a show in SoCal, and he walked up and asked if he could play. My buddy and I were 2x4ing (4 turntables, 2 mixers), so my buddy let him cut in. Loren sucked ass, probably hadn't touched vinyl in a while, and I kept cutting his mixer for him, which pissed him off. I later lectured him about his declining production quality and tried to force ketamine up his nose and drop acid in his eyes. He was nonplussed.

>>730673681
Jonah was a little too drunk and didn't want the attention. Seth and Jay were really cool and we joked around and talked shit for a while. Dave is actually really cool and interesting, and less pretentious than his brother. Genuinely good guy.

I've met a lot of people because I've run sound, lighting, and DJed in LA for over a decade, so even when I'm not working a show, I'm probably still there, or at the after party, or with somebody that knows somebody.

Met Jessica Alba at a Whole Foods. We were the only two people in line and we were both buying fresh parmesan. We were laughing about how the chick behind the counter warned us both that we were buying too much and that,since it was fresh with no preservatives, it would go bad before we could eat it all. Then I asked if she had ever been sharked and came all over her north face best.

>>730662221
holy fuck this is real shit. I left 4chan once for a year, but its been about 6 months and I literally cannot quit it anymore.

>>730674004
>not replying to an obvious joke

>>730674368
Dude. That's awesome. I agree with what you said about bassnectar there's just an essence of his music that's not there any more! But sheesh man you guys go hard in the music scene

>>730663051
I kn9w ryte
Aripplable

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Enough about that fat fuck! Post Jenettes!

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>>730678791
Fuck I posted in the wrong thread again. Posting Jenettes anyway.

>>730672382
She had short hair youre lucky she's gorgeous.

what Sasha Grey like when you meat her?