Okay /b/, when you masturbate what do you do? A) Cum into a

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>>730599756
>B) Cum into your hand and throw it away

>>730599756
>throw away hand
My God OP

I usually just cum on my dog. He seems to like it.

E

I usually cum onto whatever empty case of beer that is around. Then admire my spread and let it dry.

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>>730599756
>B) Cum into your hand and throw it away

Onahole

F) Cum in the shower

A, ocasionally E

but if your mom is around ill give it to her

>>730599756
F) Cum in my hand then eat it

>>730599756
Dedicated towels always. Current one hasn't been washed in a few months

I lay in bed to jerk it, so I cum on my sheets or blanket. Then, I just fall asleep, rolling in my cum

My gf rubs my dick without directly touching it and makes me cum in my pants while calling me a loser/pathetic. Last time she spit on my face as i creamed all over myself. Shit is so hot

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>>730599756
Tissue.

>>730600302
this

>>730599756
C. I hate doing it and want to nofap, but it'll do.

cum on self, clean up with whatever is available

Is it wrong to cum into a tissue, let it dry and use it, lets say, the next day?

>>730600302
What the fuck dude

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>>730599756
>D) have a dedicated cum RAGS
FTFY

I made a home made fleshlight using a pringles box and shoving 2 sponges inside wrapped in latex gloves. I fap, i cum i clean the whole thing. Throw away gloves.

Cum into the toilet. I occasionally have to wipe the bowl down before cleaning it, though.

>>730599756
I cum in a toilet bowl, wrapping my legs around it in the process.

>>730600302
The only correct answer

>>730600302
That's disgusting, I just usually shoot directly in my mouth

Paper grocery bags dude. Squirt into them a few times then toss. No equal.

If I don't bust in my toys I'll shoot on my shirt and just change shirts

A if have tissues nearby

>>730600302
this if no tissues and no one is looking

Either
1. Use my prepuce to store it and use the batroom to throw it away
2. Cum on my hand and swallow

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>>730600597

>>730600004
got any pics of facial of your dog?

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E) Let it fly and land where it may on the floor

>Feels goodman!

Eat it

I cum all over my tshirt and just continue browsing the web. Can't be bothered. All my tshirts have cumstains

>>730599756
cum on my sheets and let it dry up

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I cum in my wife's panties. Some go back into the drawer. She enjoys the surprise.

>>730599756

A) Cum into a tissue and throw it away**

**Actually toilet paper and flush it.

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>>730600827

>>730600302
do this but taste it first with a tongue dip
(sometimes coffee makes it taste a little bitter so I don't know if I want to eat it right away that's why I try to get my buddy before he get's ready for work)

>>730599756
Cum in hand and clean off with tissue, then throw away.

>>730599756
F) Cum inside my underwear

before you react
i have my own way of jerking off

>>730599756
Cum into my hand and let it fly and land where it may and throw the floor away.

>>730599756
G) cum into a film bottle and save it till the end of the week then drink it all

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>I like to shoot my jizz into empty medicine bottles them empty the load onto an unsuspecting woman in public somewhere. I have to be very stealthy but it's pretty easy

I cum into my own underwear...and only change them when I shower which is once or twice a week so, I usually have multiple loads of cum in my underwear. Smells so damn good after a few days.

>>730601434

The better/thicker the load, the hotter the woman has to be for it to be dumped.

If I aim my cum then it doesn't feel nearly as good. I just lay on my back and shoot my cum all over my dick and stomach and stuff and clean it up after.

>>730599756
Tissues, but that shit usually dries up my dickhole so I gotta clean the residue off with water.

anyone here actually tasted their own cum?
what does it taste like?

i read some greentext in the past that says cum doesnt have any taste it's just jellified water that smells like detergent

>>730599756
Getthelube.com

>>730601448
a-are you me??? (>>730601391)

>>730599756
i usually grip my dick as i cum so the cum flows out in a pool ontop of my cock held by my grip. i then pull my hand up pulling the cum from my cock so it rests on the top of my fist. then there's only one thing to do. eat it and carry on without even having to clean up

>>730601375
How does one throw away their hand?

>>730599756
F) cum on brown bag put aside

>>730601600

I have a gobbled a lot of cum...very little of it my own...it has a lot of taste.

>>730600302
Wait, eat your hand or eat the cum?

>>730601983
was it bitter, sour or?

what the fuck is all this bullshit, use plastic bags u god damn troglodytes

>>730599756
E

>>730600518
this
how do you even aim at a tissue? cumming on self is best

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>>730602060
>Eat your hand

>>730600374
Gf? You mean that piece of rabbit fur you rub on your dick every night?

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>tuck my dick upwards towards my belly button inside my undies
>grab pillow
>hump pillow till ejaculation
>cum inside undies

sometimes i feel so tired i just lay there i dont notice that the cum has passwed through my underwear and shorts and is now being absorbed by my cum stained pillow
i change undies and shorts every two days
and pillow sheets once in a month

>>730600302
I do this too

>>730602162

kinda depends on the persons diet but pretty salty...I dont mid the taste too much but its the consistency- if its too gloppy it makes me gag...if its nice and runny I can just gobble it down.

>>730600342
This

>>730599756
E)

>>730599756
D

Well, I'm usually lying in bed so I just cum all over my stomach and chest then wipe it off before it cools

>>730600827
edgy xDXDXD

>>730600342
i also do this

>>730601204
You mean you cum in your gloves drawer and then when you use them you enjoy using cummed gloves?

>>730602867
So many rancid swines here cumming on their bedsheets and then sleeping in them. Can't you cum like a gentleman and use a fucking tissue?

>>730599756
e

>>730600302
this
gotta get your brotein m8, thats gains your throwing away

>>730599756
D

I choose whatever sock is so fucked it's not worth wearing anymore and cum in it until it's too stiff to cum into without chaffing.

>>730599756
A
or E when in the shower.

>>730599756
Toilet

>>730599756
Into a trashcan. This is not complicated. What is wrong with you people?

if im not going anywhere that day i cum in my underwear and if i have to go somewhere i cum in my hand and wash it off

A) Yes
B) Yes
C) Yes - Clean laundry too
D) Yes - If I can reach it
E) Yes - Sometimes I like to see how far I can shoot my load

G) fuck and cum in my sonic plushie

>>730602541
Pretty much this.
I find that mine doesn't have much taste, just slightly salty. It smells much stronger then it tastes.
I just wish I had a larger sample size...

>>730599948
Fap twice. Out of hands.

>>730599756
A sock and I use another sock as a buffer between hand.
Or tshirt

>>730599756
Let it hit the shower floor and let is wash down the drain

Into an onahole...

>>730599756
Okay /b/, when you masturbate what do you do?

>doesn't give option for cumming on your own face or cumming in your hand/on something and licking it up.

Dude, it's 2017, get with the program.

>>730599756
Cum in my hand and lick it up.

>>730599756

Sock. /thread

>>730599756
Let the cum drip on me/underwear and let it dry there until morning

>>730601600
Mine tingles my tongue. Tastes a little salty. Not bad at all.

i use a sock

>>730599756
I pinch the tip of my dick while I am cumming then when I am done with the orgasm, I get up and waddle to the bin and remove my pinch on the head and drop my load in.

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>>730600302
That's my boy !

Is cuming into a pipet and then pumping back into your dick so you can cum again an option?

>on floor if standing or sitting upright
>on chest/belly then wipe off if laying down

I've hit myself in the face a few times laying down

Godspeed, jizzrag mushroom.

>>730600342
this

>>730599756
F. None of the above
I always get the sour cream jar out the ice closet and cum into that then put it back in for later

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Cum rag I've had for two years. Or have my local cock sucker suck me off and he swallows

I piss and cum in water bottles then dump it on the porch of the apartment below mine

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>>730606031
I forgot, pic related

>>730599756
I cum into my wife's mouth

>>730606113
>Or have my local cock sucker suck me off and he swallows

That's not masturbating you fucking retard

>>730599756
E: Do it in the bathroom, clean it up with toilet paper and then flush it.

Cum on my chest and stomach. Clean up with a rag or take a shower.

>>730599756
anyone got a vid to this pic?

>>730599756
I usually creampie my japanese high-performance silicone vagina
>>>/jp/16877166

Is it weird to be masturbating right now? And if not, who else is rubbing one out right now?

>>730599756

>Cum on stomach
>Walk to bathroom
>Wipe off with TP
>Flush TP

Can't believe no one does this

>>730599756
Either A, or F
Cum on myself and wash it off.

>>730606444
Me

>>730599756
usually just cum in my hand and pants while i'm hugging and sniffing my little sister.

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>>730606031
>>730606178
>reverse image search
>no results

am i the only one to buy condoms in bulk (144 packs) and use them to cum. cleanest clean up ever

>>730606466
I did this for a while except in the bathroom and i'd take a shower after cause there's no way you're getting it clean without splashing all over the place.

I pinch the tip of my dick and cum inside my dick. I am probably doing permanent damage but I've been doing it for many years. Sometimes I feel the cum go back inside me, like near my prostate.

>>730599756
i eat it, always have

E

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I cum in the bottom half of this icebreakers container and then dispose in toilet

easy as (cream)pie

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Cum into hand, dog gladly eats evidence

>>730606701
I've had to do that before. I do it when it's an emergency only tho.

Use whatever old laundry I have near my bed.

Cum on the floor and lick it up :p

>>730599756
Option E. I wonder if my cleaning lady already figured out where the splats are cumming from :^)

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>>730606586
My only complaint is the smell that comes from it and it makes the cum feel almost like silly string

Jizz into toilet or trash receptacle. Minimal cleanup altho trash starts to smell like aborted fetuses if left too long

>>730601600
has anyone not?

>>730600811
Who would be looking wtf

F) Inside my gf

>>730599756
Cum onto self, scrape it up and eat it.
Clean rest with dirty clothing.
>>730600302
This guy gets it

Cum into my hand then wipe it off with a tissue (inefficient I know)

>>730606615
Nope, that's genius

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Shit posting helps me deal with PTSD.

Anybody else relate to that?

>>730599756
Usually E or just cum inside my underwear and just leave it there

H) In a condom

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>>730599756
Normally A

Did B once when the paper was suddenly unretrievable. It's a good emergency method.

Once tried F) Let it fly and land where it may on her frontal parts. It was pretty cool.

>>730599756
F) Cum into paper towel and throw it away.

Paper towels absorb the jizz better than tissue or toilet paper.

>>730600811
> and no one is looking
wtf

>>730605740
Am I really the only one?

>>730599756
F, cum into toilet

>>730600607
>Cum into the toilet.

This. Flush, easy clean up.

>>730600302

that is fucking gross dude, seriously.....do you even know what kinds of germs could be on your hands from touching doorknobs and stuff?

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>>730610813

Nope

E

I usually cum into a jar and freeze it.

>>730600911
Never change, /b/.

>>730599756
just fap to the hard edge never rly cum

>>730599756
Become a eunuch and you won't cum much at all...easier cleanup.

>>730600706
need instructions

>>730599756
I usually jerk off in bed and then wipe the cum off my stomach with toilet paper. Sometimes I jerk it standing up and just shoot my load on the floor, then wipe it up with toilet paper.

>>730599756
? I cum in the pussy im raping at that moment

Whenever I cum, I'm usually on my backside so I just let it go wherever and then whatever gets on my hand I wipe on my waist area and just leave it alone.

>>730599756
Nice thread.

C or I use a trick so I cum without ejaculating

>>730600607
Or sink

>>730599756
A, and C, but also cum into my hand then lick it up.

>>730601434
I wish this were true

Love driveby cum vids

>>730599756
Face cloths all the way. And after a few days or so, I'll throw them into the clothes hamper.

>>730599756
Whatever happened to Madison Scot?
Haven't seen any of her stuff for years.

Sometimes I press the spot between ass and balls, it makes cum stay in the balls so I don't have to clean up.

>>730602505
What the fuck is wrong with you?

>>730599756
Usually kneeling by the edge of the trash can, it's just the right height to press the edge against my taint, feels better while I cum then. He it goes straight into the trash and I wipe up any remains with a tissue

>>730600527
Nah dude I do the same. You're saving trees by reusing

>>730599756
i wrap a couple tissues around the top of my dick and just cum into them like a condom. It works great usually.

>>730614001
Or I do option A if I don't feel like hanging over the trash

>>730604663
Kek

>>730605886
Kek

>>730606207
Dream on.
>wife
>bjs
Pick one

>>730606444
Not masturbating exactly but when alone I constantly play with/touch my dick no matter what I'm doing

>>730613803
Who?

>>730613810
This is what I meant here >>730613471

I strictly use my sister in law's panties. Used or clean. Used ones go the basket, clean ones go back to drawer.

>>730599756
i have socks that i roll up and place on my tip when i jack off. then when i cum it all goes into the sock. when im done i unroll it and throw it in the dirty laundry. no mess, and the socks get washed every time.

>>730614349
Madison Scott* (with two t's), the woman in the pic.

F) CUM INTO MY FORESKIN AND HOLD IT TO DUMP IT INTO THE TOILET

>>730599756
cum into toilet and flush it

>>730612702
omg don't cut yourself dude

>>730615043
this you fucking morons

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>>730603139
>gloves drawer

I see what you're trying to do, but the insinuation of a dedicated drawer for gloves makes you out to be a bit of a mad cunt.

>>730599756
Anyone remember when you COULDN'T cum? Best year, no fucking mess. Fisrt time i discovered masturbation i was 9 had no pubes at all and couldnt cum at all. My dick was small but the head would get big and just pulse, no liquid at all. That was for at least a year.

A combination of C) and D) for me.
I use a couple of pairs of gym shorts for fapping, and wash them with the rest of the laundry every week.

I'm uncut. I hold the tip of my foreskin forming a bag, cum into that and then let go when I reach the toilet.

>>730614773
same

I shit in the toilet and cum on top of it before I flush

>>730599756
i can't cum anymore, but I can still orgasm so i dont have that problem.

>>730615622
I member. Simpler times. No fuss. Could do it without anyone noticing.

>>730601282
hot tell more

>>730617460
>without anyone noticing

Wh-whuu? I deffo couldnt have done that i made a bunch of noise when i used to no cum orgasam, i swear it was more intense back then. I remember first time. I had a sakura kasugano hentai. Felt electric shoot from my coin purse, past my nuts up the tube and my whole tip went nuts and i made a "uhhuhhhhh" sound. No jizz possible for at least a year. Cant remember what that was like tho.

>>730617457
How come you can't cum anymore?

>>730599881
omf

No option for catching it in foreskin?

>>730599756
Last time I fapped I came in an empty coke plastic bottle. Capped it and threw it in the trash.

They come at 5 today to pick up the trash.

>>730616937

me

Cum in a cup then microwave it until it evaporates

Just cum in my pants

>>730601204
all this cum cant be from one person.

>>730614773
YUP.

>>730600607
thought i was the only one

>>730599756
to my hand of cource

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>>730599756
F) Cum onto my stomach/chest and wipe it off with a towel

Can't believe nobody else in here does this

>>730600955
you know what else feels good? seeing my gf pic being reposted. glad u like her :)

>>730599756
F) cum on my lower belly and put my pants back on soaking in my own sticky mess

>>730600302
If youre not doing this, youre doing it wrong

Im trying the "inyaculation" method b/ is when you Block the semen before the orgasm doing pressure in the perineus
Is dangerous?

>>730602060
Yes.

I have a dedicated cum rag

>>730599756
F) Cum into the sink with water running

>>730620658
Eh... probably

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Cum into the toilet, no more cleaning necessary

>cum with dick on 90 degrees
>swallow it all

>>730599756
>D) Have a dedicated cum rag

It's a giant blanket I keep on the floor next to my bed.

Lay down on bathroom floor
With a towel of course
Cum on stomach. Clean with a tissue

C

>>730599756
Cum in to the bed sheets

I make a little pocket for it

Then I roll over and sleep on the other side of the bed

I just stick my dick in my mouth when I'm about to cum

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why isnt clean sock an option?

Why isnt clean sock an option??

Do you wipe your ass, OP? Please?

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>>730621906

COME IN A CLEAN SOCK LIKE A FUCKING GENTLEMAN, OP, YOU IGNORANT FUCKIN' DEGENERATE HERETIC!

Who enjoys show tunes as much as I do, sailors?

Am I right?

LOL!

>>730599756
Holy shit the scrubs in this fucking thread... Just do it in the shower, no clean up, no shame.

>>730622164
Cum is super bad for waste pipes anon.

i smear cum over my belly and legs

>>730599756
F) I shoot cum like a basket ball into my trash can.

Feels good, and not a lot of clean up.

>>730622164
How the fuck am I supposed to look at pictures of my sister in the shower? Who faps to nothing?

>>730599756

Source of vid plz?

>>730622523
this

>>730622321
>who faps to nothing

When i was 9 a girl who was my friend took her top off in front of me giving no fucks because she was flat just like me. I jerked off to that image in my mind for a year. I didn't under stand sex or what it involved, but i she was pretty, pale and i knew i liked thinking about what was under her top from then on. I needed no porn, didnt know what porn was.

>>730622321
Well if you have some kind of outside life you can fap to your female friends or your teachers, family, etc. I find porn stupid tbh

>>730623448
I'm not 15 sorry

>>730599756
Sauce on the pic in case anyone cared:
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1118231862

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>>730620490
I've blown a lot of loads to her perfect bush.

>gif related

>>730599756
I would normally cum on my stomach or on my computer chair and wipe with tissues, but recently decided to cum into a 2 litre bottle and see how far I can fill it.

I walk to the bathroom sink when im about to cum and jerk it in the sink then run water to wash it down.

I do this

>>730623392

>>730599756
Cross my legs, idk where the cum goes but it doesn't come out to my knowledge

Also just curious >>730600000

>>730622245
Really?

>>730625184
Damn

>>730599756
Finish into toilet bowl, easy to clean

>>730625238
Yep. Especially if you wash it away with cold water.

>>730601204
shes got some ugly hands

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I almost always jack off in bed before sleep so I'll grab one of my pillows I don't actually sleep on, hold it close to me, and angle my dick up under the pillow case so when I cum it goes between the case and the pillow itself.

Easy to just roll over and fall asleep and pretend I'm cuddling someone who actually loves me.

>>730600342
Honestly never understood this desire to lay in your own discharge. I hear many dudes do this with their shirts too then just tuck the cum under and go about their day. Fucking disgusting bruv.

>>730619660
It's not. It can't be that ropey at that amount from one person.
>>730625764
That's cause she's fat.

>>730599756
Damn there are some nasty fucks in his thread

i cum in my pants then just sleep with it, it will dry till the next morning

>>730599756
G) cum on my own face, let it dry.

>>730600302
+1

>>730611067
do you not wash your hands before touching your dick? wtf is wrong with you?

In my mums handbag

>>730600827
Wait... so are we just two guys doing the thingy with the prepuce ?

>>730599756
>C) Cum into some dirty laundry
>D) Have a dedicated cum rag
i have a cum rag that i wash on a regular basis. I learnt the hard way that hiding an old dirty cum rag under my bed is a bad idea...

>>730628674
u have phimosis?

>>730629154
>phimosis
Nope it's just useful to store it there and go flush it in the toilet

>>730621564
Wow you sound like a massive bellend

>>730600811
>no one is looking

ah shit, I always have my cum goblin sitting in the corner watching me.

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>>730599756
my semen oozes out slowly so its eazy to cum into my hand, sometimes i cum onto my own belly or and sometimes onto this duffel bag i fuck cuz i put a pocket pussy into it. wipe off semen with toilet paper. shower.

i have a dedicated cum TOWEL!!!

>>730629465
>cum goblin
whoa, do you really have one of those?

>>730599756
pinch the tip of my dick when i cum and hold it in as i walk to the toilet and let it drip out into the bowl

>>730605740
i do this too, anon

>>730600607
you could impregnate your mom or sis dude

>not cumming straight into toilet and flushing

plebs

>>730614773
i don't have foreskin so i just pinch the tip as i cum and then drop the load off in the toilet

During my rampant teenage years, when I wanked at least once a day I used to lay on my side in bed and come on the carpet next to the bed. This went on for about 4 years until we moved house. When my dad moved the bed there was a nice brown line of stale cum (looked a bit like a rotten banana but longer) down the side of the bed. He asked me what it was and I said I must of dropped a banana down there and not realised. He spent a good hour scrapping it off the carpet with his finger nails whilst I looked on sheepishly.

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I just inherited $857,146 (after taxes).

I want to use the money to start a porn company, solely so that I can pay for condomless sex with hot girls I know for a fact don't have STDs because they get tested for STDs to fulfill my porn company contract.

How would you go about doing this if you were me?
Like, I need a step by step procedure.

Have a clean rug.
Always have a few A4 papers laying around.
Place A4 on rug.
Cum on A4.
Fold the A4 paper nicely so that cum cant leak.
Throw in the bin.

Nice, clean and eazy.

>>730599756
Either A) or D). I wash my cumrag periodically.

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E

I like to jizz into the sink. My sink is just high enough that I can have the edge kind of press on my taint so I do that just before shooting.

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>>730599756
>>B) Cum into your hand and throw it away

omg i'm seriously keking

thanks op you've made my night

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I cum in my boxers, then sleep

>>730629465
KEK

>>730632054
>> A4 papers
Eurofag detected

after i cum i save my load inside my dick's foreskin, then go to the toilet and thow it away there

>>730600241
This. The shower is the place to jack it.

>>730599756
A and then I have dedicated cum rag for any drippings afterwards just in case

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>>730633957
Thats nasty

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>>730599756
I squeeze my foreskin and cum into my foreskin making a foreskin cum pocket and casually walk to the washroom and empty in the toilet and no mess, fuckin beat life

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>>730599756


Fapping is a depraved act that allows you to become complacent with your declining social skills and happiness. It is an insidious poison that you will only realise the damage from when you cross the line of normalcy and start using more and more extreme porn and living in more and more isolation from actual social interaction.

>>730633957
>>730634422
HAHA FUCK YEAH

I always jerk off right before I go to bed so I usually just cum on my hand or stomach then use the underwear I'm wearing to wipe it up and go to sleep.

>>730633957
i remember when i was a wee lad and my skin still covered the head all the way i would pinch it at the end and fill up the foreskin with pee until there was a pee explosion

>>730599756
dedicated cum rag washed every week.

an electric blue cheap towel

>>730633957
I cum like a fucking horse.
If I did that, my foreskin would inflate like a balloon and explode.

i usually cum into a toilet

>>730634555
I did that aswell kek

>>730606113
Look at that bend , you have pyroses from over masturbation
https://youtu.be/4D_IfK5aCrE

>>730599756
I cum on my chest/stomach and then wipe it off with tissues.

Its honestly the most comfortable way to cum and easy to clean up.

>>730599756
I usually leave it where it lands. All over my dick? No worry, just zip up.

Disgusting I know.

Cum in hand, cut hand off, throw away

>>730635648
Press on the skin between the balls and asshole and you'll never ejaculate.

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Notice how this is not an option

>>730600013
Same here, let the cum fly free

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>>730614483
Stories like this must be bullshit. How could it even be possible to get away with that? Cum dries and leaves a huge stain, not to mention if it were sitting in a draw it would still be damp and smell.

I agree that the fantasy is hot, but it's just not possible to get away with it unless the person knows about it and consents to it.

>>730607400
Are you the only person in the house?

>>730599756
I cum in my little metal bin

Cum on self, then shower. If I don't feel like showering, I cum onto some paper towels.

>let it fly and land where it may on the floor
Am I the only person who cums sitting down usually, or the only on who can control where it goes and not drop any on the floor?

>>730599756

I cum in my diaper, since it gets thrown away anyway.

Pdf I cum in the coffin and hurry it back

You're missing the two best options here.

F) Cum into foreskin, pinch together the end, then dispose of cum at your leisure.

G) Cum into hand, lick it all up.

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>>730599756
For I AM the
Jizzrag Shack'emup!

>>730614773
YES

>>730599756
Sock, toilet bowl, or during shower. Very rarely, on or in wife.

F) cum on bed and lick it up