Because I'm sad, lonely and slightly attention seeking...

>>730582612
How to calculate the volume of a pyramid?

I'll bite. What's it like?

>>730582612
Do you destroy your friendships?

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>>730582612
How does this make you feel

>>730582612
Border of what?

>>730582796
God dammit fag.

>>730582835
Eat shit nigger I want to know

>>730582612
get fucked you crazy cunt.

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>>730582732
Depends on the pyramid

>>730582796
Constant mood swings, destructive moods and behaviours, no motivation, struggle to get out of bed every morning and its almost like i have multiple personalities because I act a completely different person depending on my mood

>>730582826
Yea... But I always regret it and beg for my friends back, most of them know me enough by now to know I don't mean it when I want them gone but some have permanently left me and some harrass me despite how sorry I am

>>730582827
It makes me feel reinvigorated

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>>730582834
It's on the borderline of being a neurological and psychological disorder, and it affects my personality and identity

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>>730583058
(i am the anon who asked about destroying your friendships)

that is tough. Funny this thread should pop up because i'm literally talking to my girlfriend about whether she should start talking to her BPD sister again. But her sister doesn't take any responsibility for her actions. So hopefully you are different

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>>730583312
I used to just blame my disorder for when I stepped out of line but I'm learning from my mistakes and starting to learn to take responsibility for what I do now. You're gf should start talking to her sister again and its important that she understands the disorder. A BPD patient's biggest fear is abandonment (It's common amonst all BPD's) and so it is important that she gets as much support as possible

>>730583312
>>730583614
It's also important might I add that the sister needs to learn about the disorder herself and actively seek treatment. I'm starting to get better because I know my disorder and when I have enough determination I make sure that my disorder doesn't define who I am. But the determination often shifts with my moods

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>>730583614
Under normal circumstances I would agree with you, but my girlfriend has physical and mental illnesses of her own, and she really needs stability in her life. I hope that someday, when she has sorted her own shit enough to withstand her sisters, that they can have a positive relationship. That might be a while away though. That might be hard to hear for you, that your greatest fear is being realised by another of your kind. But she has to take care of herself before she can take care of somebody else

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>>730583880
That's understandable. The last time I made this thread a guy said that we adapt to the mental health of those around us and I agree with this because I started to feel better after leaving my group of mentally unstable friends for a bit. So a mentally unstable person hanging around another mentally unstable person isn't the wisest idea. Your priority should be to surround your gf with support (which I'm sure you are doing) and like you said once your gf gets better they could perhaps have a positive relationship again. I'm just hoping a fellow BPD has her own circle of friends to survive with for the time being

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>>730584470
It sounds like you are a lot wiser than her sister, so I expect your relationships to be much more fruitful than hers as well.

If it makes you feel any better, it was her sisters idea to evict my gf from her life, not the other way around. She is just trying to reconnect now, but after sounding her out she didn't really sound willing to admit she'd done anything wrong.

Do you have many friends who stick with you through it all?

lol, my sister abandoned ME... 5 times in 7 years, for 6-12 months at a time. Eventually you have to put your foot down because maybe MY fear is also being abandoned...

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>>730584825
also i linked her the thread because she was curious and then this happened :P

>>730582612
I believe i might have a slight borderline disorder myself, it have become much more clear since i got a girlfriend of my own a few months ago, she's not that stable herself and my jealousy and fear of abandonment and moodswings have really been showing and its been terrible to deal with around her, i believe she might be a 'trigger' to my behavior since before her i was just alone and always on a constant depressed mood, now there's really high highs and really low lows and my fear of her leaving me etc makes me push her away.

I will sit in my time out bucket

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>>730584818
I've have done truely horrible things to seperate myself from my mentally unstable friends but they are the most understanding and forgiving and they are still my greatest friends today

>>730584825
I understand your situation I have both been abandoned and ruined the relationships myself but you need to understand that she is suffering and she doesn't know how to cope. We kick people out of our lives because we feel they don't understand us and we feel that those people are only trying to hurt us. And while you may feel abandonded, you need to remember that you have a supportive boyfriend and (probably) by extension a supportive circle of friends and your sister may not feel that she has the same, even if she really does. At bad times even when I had support around me I still felt alone because no one knows how I feel. You need to show (or at least pretend) you understand how she feels and when you are mentally fit perhaps you can help her fix herself. What is also very VERY important is that you must help her fix HERSELF and not help fix her YOURSELF.

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>>730585769

Thanks for the chat anon. You seem like not-a-tool so you can send me some of your deets on my trash email if your bpd ass needs a friend: ministryofwin at gmail.com

I gotta go to bed now, work in the morning.

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>>730585212
I have been told by some that in order to have a healthy stable relationship, I should first make sure I am healthy and stable and perhaps the same is true for you. I've been chasing relationships and when I finally found one, it was very messy and confusing because of my instability and I suppose in a way I'm feeling the same as you because she is a big trigger for me as well. When she appears I'm super happy and when she stops replying I instantly get depressed and I'm desperately holding on to her by a thread. I think for now we need to let our SO's go to help ourselves before they can help us have a happier life. It's a sad truth... One I'm still struggling to accept myself

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>>730585994
Have fun at work and may you and your girlfriend live a happy life :)

>>730582612
Did you ever figure out how to not feel empty when you don't act unstably and resist it?

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>>730586556
When I feel empty I try to just distract myself with videogames or youtube or something but it doesn't always work well because I get bored of what I'm doing pretty quickly. So I can't say I've exactly found a cure for my emptiness

>>730586884
I wish you luck in finding a way to cure it. I have BPD too and really struggle with that.

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>>730587418
Just while you are here im curious. Have you ever been so overwhelmed with emotions that you just magically shut them off? I once got too much of each emotion at once and just zoned out of everything and stared at the ceiling for an hour motionless

>>730586168
>>730587976
Thanks for answering, you seem really nice, i like you.:') and yes i believe you might be right in that we need to be stable ourself before we involve another person in our life, but im not ready to let that go either just yet.
The good feelings it gives me far outweights the bad if i think about it, just that feeling that someone out there truly cares for you, its magical and something i havent felt in a decade.

To the question by being overwhelmed by emotions, that stuff happens quite often for me, so my mind just shuts down and i go emotinally numb, like i dont care at all for nothing and when i get like that i easily hurt the people i care about so i try to like distance myself and just be alone then.

>>730587976
Yes, that's happened to me a lot. I usually just lay on the carpet for an hour or two when that happens and do the same thing.

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Are you able to work and if so do you?

>>730588661
Also did you get the idea from SchizOP or just bored and starting a thread

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Is this you?

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Going to get food, here's hoping the thread is still alive when I get back

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>>730588494
Yea, knowing someone cares for me is what keeps me alive, unfortunately I constantly forget that people do care and it sometimes leads me to paranoia. You seem to shut down the same as me but I've only really properly shut everything down once. I do have a destructive mood that can make me go out of my way to hurt people but its rare and I like to make it up to people by being as nice as possible most of the time

>>730588505
So you get it too, I didn't realize it was so common. I guess it's a coping thing we all have

>>730588661
>>730588726
I am able to work I think but I lack the motivations and skills to do any job I want to do and the anxiety I get the moment I wake up generally stops me from leaving the house much. Also I guess you got me there, SchizOP gets load of attention and support so I guess I wanted some of that. But I also just wanted to talk with people and educate people of my own disorder.

If anyone wants to talk outside of 4chan, you are welcome to email me at psychicbear21 at gmail.com
I'm most active on discord @ PsychicBear and if you cant get me on there, add me on steam @ Psychic Baby (Picture is of a badly drawn dragon)
I'm happy to try and help those in need

>>730582612
Question. Why do you need a disorder to describe being a fucking cunt?

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>>730589323
I'm starving so I'll quickly go get a snack too, sorry if I don't reply too quickly as well, I have lots to say and I'm not the fastest typer.

>>730588746
Uh nope? I'm a boi not a grill unfortunately

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>>730589807
Why do you need to hide behind a screen and anonymity to call someone a fucking cunt. I got some tissues for your issues fam whats up with you

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Bump from drive thru

>>730586884
>When I feel empty I try to just distract myself with videogames or youtube or something but it doesn't always work well because I get bored of what I'm doing pretty quickly. So I can't say I've exactly found a cure for my emptiness
Story of my life. Some days I'm more successful than others, but there's still usually a point where I have to force myself to distract myself.
I've spoken to a lot of borderline people, mostly women. It's fucking rough on both ends. Good luck with that.

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>>730590856
May I take your order prease

>>730590991
I guess its best to surround yourself with positive people and get out as much as possible but my friends are always busy with work and shit to go out places with me. When I'm out with close friends for the most part I'm without a care in the world but that can change quickly

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>>730591335
I forgot to add an image to that one

>>730591335
'S what I used to do, before I moved with family. Now I'm just a complete shut-in. Oh joy.

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>>730591996
My fam like to force me out of the house sometimes but most of the time they just leave me to do my own thing so I'm a shut-in too. It's a shame I have a beach a 10 second walk away from my house and I'm too anxious to go because everyone here is friendly and like to say hi and shit. A simple hi isn't gunna kill me but thats not what my anxiety thinks

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>>730582612
hey found out i got the same thing with you
my gf just kicked me out when i needed her most
trying to play video games and other things but nothing work
im started to accept the situation and convince myself she's happy with her choice
buttt also im tired of relationship, avoid the society and trying to convince myself to commit suicide so yeah
sr english isn't my 1st language i just want to express myself

>>730592457
See, I can handle pleasantries, depending on mood. Just most of the time I end up having to control my thoughts to keep myself from my crippling depression.
Fun stuff.
Let me guess, you prefer to play multiplayer games to get human interaction?

>>730592815
not him but yess i aswell prefer multiplayer games just to see other people, preferably with a text chat so you can interract and maybe make some friend. Longer singleplayer games makes me feel so alone and depressed, one of the reasons i could never get into those RPGs.

I want to know why you made this post again?

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>>730589603
I can't blame you SchizOP is a cool dude, if I had any disorders I'd probably make a thread on /b/ hoping to emulate his as well. Have you ever tried taking anything to help with the anxiety?

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>>730592470
Right now, while you may not be motivated, the best thing you can do is seek help from a professional and try and get better. Funnily enough, my disorder got triggered by my girlfriend leaving me too so we are on the same page. Right now you seem at the beginning of it all so you really do need to seek help before it's too late and you feel you can't anymore. I love to avoid society but I still love to talk to friends and it's what helped me a lot so try and make lots of friends that can help you, and I would also be happy to be your friend. What's your first language anyway brother?

Do you end up hating people all the sudden?

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>>730593225
To talk to more people and educate people of my disorder. I like meeting like minded people or people who want to know more about mental health.

>>730592815
I play a lot of league but its more because my IRL friends play it (or at least they used to...) and because im addicted, the human interaction in that game is pretty cancer and it sometimes messes with my mental stability even if its just harmless banter. I used to just play games for their single player story but now I suppose I play a lot more multiplayer games than single player

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somebody rate my goat boy. i named him avery.

>>730593686
needs a body/10

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>>730593256
well maybe it will help tks
but afterall relationship sucks isn't it, it only brings pain and depression lmao
i swear to myself if i got through of this i will never get another ever again, i'm tired
i'm asian btw

Do you attention seek?

>>730593611
>I play a lot of league but its more because my IRL friends play it (or at least they used to...) and because im addicted, the human interaction in that game is pretty cancer and it sometimes messes with my mental stability even if its just harmless banter.
Ehh. 'S why I play with friends. Don't play solo much, and fuck ranked as a whole. I just want to have FUN, not have some numbers tell me I'm shit at a videogame. I already know that.

>I used to just play games for their single player story but now I suppose I play a lot more multiplayer games than single player
Yeah. I play some SP if the game can grab me and is fun. Horizon Zero Dawn is fun. Probably gonna give Let It Die a shot.

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>>730593253
I don't like the sound of meds but it seems like the only path left to take. One of my friends took 2 different anxiety meds and it apparently completely cleared her of anxiety so I'd hope the same happens to me if I tried it

>>730593498
This happens a whole lot, It's why I push away my friends, something will click, I'll suddenly hate everything about them and I just want them to go away and never come back. Then I realize I made a mistake and hope they WILL come back.

>>730593650
Relationships do suck a lot but I always feel I need one so I can feel like someone cares about me above everything else

>>730593996
Can you read?
>>730582612
>and slightly attention seeking...

>>730594093
aren't we all need some attention?

>>730582612
Why do you need to classify your autism with a disability?

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>>730593996
I guess so. I do like to stay relevent in peoples lives or I at least don't want to be alone so I try to reach out to others as much as I can without being a burden to them. But when I'm in groups I'm not like "everyone look at me and don't listen to anybody else"

>>730594040
Yea my few friends who still play try to get me to play ranked but I just want to play norms, have fun and maybe try something out of meta that everyone will report me for.
>ap gnar ftw
I never got much into the zelda series but with BOTW just coming out, I started at ocarina of time, got super hooked and now I just bought a Wii U just for zelda

>>730594252
Do we really need to go back to this again. If you got issues, tell me directly so I can help you out

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>>730594064
oh well glad to talk with you, hope you'll be fine soon
hope i will be too
maybe i need some sleep, goodnight

>>730590142
You hide behind a disorder that lets you piss and moan about how sad you are. I'm not hiding. I don't have a lot of tolerance for people like you, and I'm in a position that your approval isn't important to me. I come here to demean and belittle you free of any guilt. You're a failed person. This simultaneously amuses and disgusts me. Does this bother you?

>>730593256
have you ever reach the professional? did it work?