What's keeping you up tonight /b/? Let's talk about

Probably PlayerUnknowns Battlegrounds and Steins;Gate VN

>>730205468
bump

roomie drank my alcohol literally right behind me while i was listening to music. Only way i knew cuz i know every sound of closing bottle and it was my rum.

>>730205468
I'm too tired to masturbate but don't think I can fall asleep if I don't

>>730205468
I'm too tired to masturbate but don't think I can fall asleep if I don't

>>730205566
what a cunt
you should murder his family

Spent all day doing HackerRank crap instead of studying for the last class I need for my degree. I'm already employed and probably don't need it, but I've been fibbing about having my degree for a number of years, and am only now getting around to attempting to complete. But the class is hard, and not at all relevant to what I do. Slowly sipping scotch to counteract the pot of coffee I downed earlier so that I can pass out and maybe hopefully devote the entire Sunday to studying the crap I should've spent today doing.

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my unending mistakes. the fact that i feel empty and unsatisfied when im so far yet not so far in my life. its the fact that i have doubts about my decisions. the fact that i loved someone and they just told me they changed their mind. the fact that deep down. i dont know what im doing and honestly would rather not exist most of the time. thats when im feeling real. one a good night its the infinity of space and exsistance and how little we really understand and how our understanding is just something we made up. thats just me

I have a fucked up work schedule, so I slept like half the day today.

I don't work tomorrow, so I'm drinking gin until I feel like sleep.

>>730205468 waiting on uni admission decision from my dream school (I'm a transfer student)

it's been tearing me up inside for weeks and I'm not sure how I'll react if I get rejected

>>730206024

You should probably kill yourself.

...or, you know, just accept that you don't get to have everything you want and keep pressing on like everybody else.

Fuckin' Undertale ending man, absalutely terrifying

>>730205803
Life is beautiful and it will give you a direction soon.

>>730206711

Life is painful and messy, don't expect it to give you anything... just work to find the parts that you enjoy, and enjoy it until you're gone.

>>730205803
you shouldn't beat yourself up for mistakes you've made. learn from them

it's really hard to move on sometimes, but you should try. put yourself to work on the problem instead of mulling it over a thousand more times. you're never going to feel better about it just by thinking about it, you just need to do.. something, anything really

I flunked out of college and was depressed off my ass for a good year and a half. the only reason I feel somewhat functional today is because I forced myself to do something about it.

I'm graduating next month. I don't think I'll ever feel better about what I did to sabotage my own education, but it is comforting to know that I didn't let it ruin my life forever. depression and failure don't define me, but they are a part of me, and part of my past, and by trying to face that part of myself and my history, I can try to do better. I like to think I beat it this time, but the struggle will never end. don't let it overcome you

>>730205468
Night shift because unlike the rest of you faggots, some people have to work.

>>730206711
Life is meaningless and the only direction it is guaranteed to take you is six feet under. Cut out the romantic bullshit and make life your bitch. You only get one.

I just noticed i have a very minor ringing sound in my left ear and I'm mad because i might have tinnitus. Considering how little I use headphones/listen loud music these days it's a real gut punch if this stays.

>>730206874
>on 4chan
>work
pick one

>>730206976
Or you're just imagining it

Distract yourself with something and try to forget about it. If you can forget about it, you probably don't have tinnitus and the ringing is your brain being paranoid.

>>730206353
>implying people cant want something
praise /b/uddha, for you have transcended the limitations of desire (or youre just an asshole, your pick)

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>>730205468
I have no excuse for still being up

>>730207780
>absolute madman

I'm moving out of the US in a few months with no clue what to expect when I get there

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>>730205468
I'm in love with a girl who doesn't give a shit about me. Typical pathetic crybaby shit. What's important is I have enough alcohol to kill several people in better health than me.
I'll just drink until I feel better or until I can't feel anything at all. I've been doing this a very long time, eventually it's gonna work.

>>730208143
get where?

>>730208287
pour one out for the dogs at the pound who were put down this week. a friend of mine who works there had to help put down like 10 dogs and its the saddest fucking thing ive ever heard

>>730208730
did he atleast ate the dogs? otherwise its wasted food.

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>>730208730
Jesus dude that sounds fucking horrible. No joke I'm pouring one out right now on principle.
I've always been soft for animals. Really I'm too soft to be on this site at all, just been stuck here 8 years anyway.

>>730208287
Why don't you just kindnap her?
if i were in your shoes i'd held her as my sex slave
build a dungeon
i'm sure it will work out for ya

>>730207398

Want stuff, and try hard to get that stuff--I'm just saying don't be a little bitch if you don't get it.

>>730205468
Your pic is related for me

>>730205786
Damn are you me?

I don't know, to be honest. I could type up some kind of sappy paragraph about some girl I miss, but I don't. She was a friend. She moved. I'd like to catch up sometime. It's not likely to happen.

I could write about all the mental shit I deal with, but it's not really that bad. I guess I'm in a deppressive rut this week, it's going to be such a pain getting through that. Finals are coming up in a few weeks. Here's hoping I'll be better then.

Still sounds sappy, I guess. Whatever. I never feel like writing this shit to talk to anons out there does anything, but here I am. Hoping writing this will help me sleep.

Waiting the Brie nudes to drop...

>>730205468
took a bunch of drugs. might finish them and hangout on the roof and try to read a book or some shit while the sun comes up

>>730209758

That sounds fucking magical. Do that.

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Just shitposting on 4chan, wishing that I could stop hating myself long enough to do one of my 'hobbies'. Unfortunately I'm in a place now where I'm wondering if I enjoy doing them at all or if I pretend that I like them socially so my guardians and limited amount of friends don't think I'm a loser. I'm probs too late at this point though .

>>730209856
im fixing too might grab a cool art book I got.

>>730209922

I'm jealous. Have a good morning, anon.

>>730205468
From a completely unrelated thread, I just rubbed my dick against another man's in his bed while I insisted we don't have sex yet, then spent sixty dollars on a cab ride so I didn't have to sleep in that bed tonight

I'm gonna eat about sixty gabapentin and chase it with the remaining 3/4 of a handle of rye I have; hopefully I won't wake up tomorrow

so, that's what's keeping me up

>>730205468

> uncertainty of life

Took some adderall at 5pm so I'm prolly not going to sleep tonight. It's 5:31 am here

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This...

I'm devastated....

I was a good girl....

I did what mommy wanted.... Then.... Gone...

>>730205468
Being lovesick is a bitch

>>730209870

Why do you hate yourself?

>>730205468
Not drunk enough to sleep through the night yet.

>>730206775
Andy??

>>730206711
life just happens

>>730205468
Horny but have nothing to fap to,

>>730205468
I think I've been listening to a cat dying for the past few minutes, I heard horrifying loud gurgles at one point, I'll never forget those.

>>730210199
You literally have the entire bank of the Internet and you have nothing?

>>730210275

I laughed a little

>>730210275
Honestly I don't like most porn because it well...Porn. Really doesn't turn me on. Slightly bi leaning straight with super picky preferences. I'm more just bored than anything. Send me sum fap material so I can go to sleep.

someone respond

'I'm seriously distraught, we can't I come to terms with being a literal faggot, I'm not even young anymore

please

Noises outside my window... Pretty out of the ordinary.

>>730210457
Define 'literal faggot' you faggot?

>>730206976
just repeat after me "I dont have tinnitus" ....and believe it and start thinking about something fucking else....because itll never go away otherwise.

>>730210457
You're too late
See: >>730209994

Being a fat kissless virgin in a university full of hot people.
I am smarter than most people here, proven by research work/classes so that makes things worse...
I miss my friends from home (eurofag) and most of all I miss a 38 y/o woman that has ruined my capacity to find people interesting

>>730210608
retrieved phone after last excursion to gay bar from gay boy went back to gay bar engaged in heavy petting again and came just short of having buttsex with another man am having very difficult time being okay with truly seriously gay self

that what literal faggot faggot

>>730210829
Um, why aren't you okay with that. If you're not gay and do gay things than you're not gay ffs. Even if you do like men wtfc. Plus guys are cute

>>730210970

Wait wat

>>730210970
found the faggot

>>730210970
I know you're trolling but I seriously don't know why I'm not cool with it

I'm gay as hell apparently and all it makes me want to do is commit suicide, which I am currently in progress of doing

if I eat all 180 pills and drink half a handle of whiskey I think that ought to do it

I'm presently at about 20 pills and 4 shots, we'll see how it goes.

I've had enough

>>730211148

Please live stream

>>730210760
Someday, you'll look back on this time and hate how smart you *thought* you were, and regret how many great experiences you missed because of it.

>>730211148
I think you should stop. No specific reason, just stop amd throw up.

Yet again, you are more of a man than ill ever be, going through with it. Good luck

>>730211104
Some straight men do gay things to see if they're gay.
>>730211148
Eh, pills why such a shit way to go. At least idk drive off a huge ass cliff into the ocean at sunrise.
>>730211135
You wouldn't say!?

>>730211233
why? check the fuckign washington dc obits tomorrow or the next couple days if you're interested

i told u i was hardcore

>>730211148

Wait why are you even mad, this isn't 1990 you retard, being gay is fine

>>730211404
Prove it

>>730211324
I know im being a moron. I get angry and annoyed when talking with most people here. And i know im throwing my best years in the trash. Not sure how to get out of it though.

>>730211381
i don't have a car anymore oterwise I woudl drive to great falls and do it there

I'lm gonna suffice for the backy aard I think

thiss shit is starting to kcik in abit

Cocaine

>>730211404
Please call the police, you need to go to the hospital

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Watching people get murdered. Need to watch something uplifting.

>>730211381
why would STRAIGHT men do gay things?
if u do gay shit then ur'e gay or atleast bi

>>730211404
99% sure you don't know me, but rhone from the drawthreads here. please call 911 if you're serious. your life is worth something

>>730211330
Tru +1
>>730211324
All 'smart' people experience this at some point. Realizing they're just big assholes and missed out on life.
>>730211499
Focus on improving yourself, physically, mentally, emotionally. Remind yourself whenever you're thinking condescending thoughts that you are no better than those who are saying the dumb shit. Although you might be more intelligent, it doesn't make you a better person. Do that long enough and you'll start becoming a better person. Also stop listening to advice on /b/

>>730211638
Some gay men don't know if they're straight or gay or bi. They have to have an experience to truly be sure.

I fucked my sleeping schedule

>>730211702
It's weird how people are nice sometimes, even to strangers. Thanks.

Just heard a friend was found shot to death

>>730205468
opiate withdrawal induced insomnia
if i stop moving my legs the pain is unbearable

>>730211851
Me too im not sleepig tongit

>>730211404
Drink more, stream live, shoot self. Else => faggot.

>>730211678
>e
thanks buddy but this shit is happening\, you're nice to say kind things but I';nm gonna go play hearthstone uin th ebackyard bnow until my heart stiopts]
\
0or wuatever neu7rontin does when youu OD o I* know it makes you dizzy

tahank you for caring but i've made my mind up. thanks b/b/ yo u;'re a usless pile of shit but it's been a trip and a llovely place to cll homee

peace my homies

>>730212137
RIP i love you anon but I hate you for being a faggot and killing yourself

>>730212137
F

I don't feel my friends appreciate me i am not even sure if they are at all my friends and this is same for every single one if i cut them out i would have literally have 0 friends

>>730212004
Honestly, I used to lurk /b/all the time and got into that same mindset, slightly depressed, thought I was better, than realized everyone who I like are the opposite to me. So I started going to the gym, being more social, ext. If you want change or control the world around you, first you must be able to control yourself and do the things it takes to improve yourself. Balance between mental, emotional and physical is nessesary to build the best version of yourself. (sorry for rant)

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>>730212137
bye faggot
one day i will kill myself also
life is kinda ok for now

>>730212330
Being in highschool and college, I don't find many people in highschool my age that are very mature. Although I like immature community and jokes, I like them to be calculated which requires some actual thought in what is said.

>>730212527
Its college but the part is as much as i care sometimes i don't get the jokes or teasing get to me it does and it feels bad at night

>>730205468
>hate the fuck out of my job, but have no other skills
>still live at home, prospects of moving out are grim
>already not attractive, but now getting fat as well because of shitty habits
>stressed, depressed as all fuck
>no friends, no clue to where to find them

And tonight:
>GF of 6 years came home and kissed me on the lips. Then casually told me she had just finished blowing some dude after I asked why her breath smelled different. Completely sober, too.

How the fuck do I put my life back together, /b/?

>>730212636
Feels bad man
What do you mean about "it's college"

Also, if you're sad, instead of doing things because you're sad do the things that would make you happy. Simply going to the gym can change a person. You need that good dopamine release and the good feeling of self improvement

>>730212781
Fuck that bitch. What a whore unless you're into that I guess. Do you have an education? What do you do for a living?

>>730212851
I used to go to gym but i cannot lift very heavy weights as i am weak so i get teased for that too so i stopped gym

>>730212943
I'm a freelance editor, I edit/produce videos for people who don't know how/are too lazy

And no, definitely not into that shit. I smelled it immediately, and still fucking smell it even though I gargled a year's worth of listerine

>>730213061
Change gyms, I go to planet fitness in the US. It's focused on not having cuck bags. And whoever 'teased' you is a fuck bag because EVERYONE was at one point weak and had to gain some how. Just do your own thing, maybe bring a friend, always have headphones in.

>>730210199
Lol you are going to have erectile dysfunction if you try to fuck a girl so good luck with your broken dick

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>>730208287
alcoholics who 'don't feel anything at all' are the most depressed and depressing people in the whole world, and they all start out thinking only the next day. sort your shit out.

pic related it's what happens to an alcoholic's brain

>>730213155
Sounds like you got a sociopath on your hands and need to tell her to gtfo.

Maybe try going back to school and learning a professional trade if editing isn't cutting it.

>>730213421
Thanks anon for making me feel a little better

>>730205468
> Cocaine

Runescape

>>730213509
It's like a sponge. Looks like the Alzheimer's brain dude.

>>730213532
No clue what I'd study, and not sure how I'd afford it since I am still living pretty much check to check

>>730205468
That's a magnificent picture.

>>730205468
nothing its still morning here

>>730213571
Np. Take your self image into your own hands. Do you think that guy who gets all the pussy cares if some other cuck bag insults him? Honestly attraction isn't even about being 'hot' it's about how one carry himself that makes them attractive.

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>>730213509
it's impossible not to feel unless you are a psychopath. you have to have a say in how you feel or it will be decided for you. use your brain before it looks like this.

>>730213614
pretty sure the grey matter just fucks out

>>730213643
Just go get your generals taken care of. >>730213978
Why not go into something like marketing where you might not be making the content but rather managing it? Btw loans and grants but if you go that direction you have to be 100% certain you're going to go through with at least a general education.

>>730213978
Mfw
>'fucks out'

>>730207014
Both. I am a security guard. I do rounds for 30 minutes an hour and watch cameras the other half. I play on my phone the majority of the other half.

>>730214114
>grey matter fucks out
>have no face

>>730205468
I haven't slept well in weeks since my wife cheated and shut me out of her life.

>>730205468

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>>730211702
>Also stop listening to advice on /b/
But you on /b/ nigger. the advise is good but dont tell people where to look for it.

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>>730216655
double dubs checked