ITT: Autistic Things You Do >be me >get messaged by ex

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>>730197354
bumping for autistic potential

>be me

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>inb4 "Go on 4Chin"

>Realy good at attracting friends with wierd stuff i have
>Have a grill 8/10 come to my room to see things and work on project
>Shes in my CS class
>Stare at her when focused
>She laughs at my comments
>Offer her chocolate milk
>She takes it
>Hours pass
>Its 1 AM
> Shes tired and sprawled out on my bed
>"Well anon, it's late I should go home"
>"Okay, I'll walk you out QT 3.14"
I'm too autistic to get anywhere when she's right there!

She's come over 3 times and not even a hug or anything.

>>730199106
try and hug her?

>>730197354
beautifully autistic

>>730199596
But my autism Anon! I can't bring myself to offer the dickens.

>>730199890
When she leaves, just be like "hey it was nice having you over again >insert hug here< see you around"

>>730200221
Too late m8. School year is ending. No more projects. No more reason to come over.

>>730200547
get le number if you haven't already

>>730200599
Yep, that was aquired. I do send funny le maymays but she's a party drinking girl and, well, I'm on 4Chan.

>>730200724
have fun being virgin. she already thinks you just wanna be friends, you straight fucked up

>have random intrusive thought
>yell
>hate myself for yelling

Weeeee

>>730200724
Ask her out to dinner

>>730200945
Yep, My dick will be wet only with lube and tears.

>>730199106
maybe she shy. the couple times she came over was it because she had to or maybe, just maybe, she might like you and was just waiting for you to make the first move

>be me
>be grill
>not cute and basic as all fuck
>still manages to get guys emails
>2 scared to write a simple "hi" to guys
>die virgin

>>730201371
She wanted to do a project with me, but I can only write code on my desktop. So she "had" to come over.

And she's an out going party girl that happens to be a major like mine. It would probably be best to not dissapoint her.

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>>730201633
there are no girls on the internet

>>730201633
Just post your email on here. They'll come to you.

>>730201882
I second this

>>730199106
Spank her in thr ass and see where it goes.

>>730201882
thirded

>>730197354
>short bi phase
wut

>>730202137
hang around autists, you catch a small bit of their life style

>>730201882
>>730201937
>>730202113

but a-anons i'm shy and can't start or hold a basic conversation ;w; (also weeb)

>>730202606
Look at it like this, what is the worst that can happen? She'd say no?

>>730202606
oh wait I'm a fucking sperg I thought you were the other anon

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>>730202606
Female Anon your forgetting everyone on this website is a weeb as well. ;)

>>730202606
to me that is neat because you can relate to an extent

>>730202709
it's ok. this IS an autistic thread after all kek

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>>730202798
you're right!

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>>730203040
Legit almost forgot that

>>730202606
I believe in youe femanon, I bet you're not super un attractive. Hell I bet your cute but self concious!

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I'm not autistic...well i think im not...

>>730203086
how old are you femanon?

>>730202606

If your name is Spike or Bunny, cut this shit out and go to bed

>>730197354
>2012
>seasonal job ending, asian girl with a fatass and perfect body/butterface I want to fuck
>autistically ask for her number
>I'm fairly attractive and in-shape
>she actually says yes
>I try my hardest to be cool and not act like I want to smash that fucking pussy
>she asks ME OUT on a hike
>day before hike sends me a pic of a thong she bought
>"HOLY SHIT I MIGHT FUCK THIS GIRL IN THE PUSSY, HOW COULD I FUCK THIS UP?"
>Show up to her house saturday morning
>"Hey Anon... *suggestive sexual smile* Parents aren't home, they went on vacation for this WHOOOLE week, what could we possibly do? *laughs*"
>"Fuck the hike anon, wanna watch some shit in my room"
>I'm so erect my dick would shoot up fast enough to escape a black hole, never been this fucking hard in my LIFE
>Go to her room
>Stomach starts hurting
>I ate a shitload of yogurt the day before
>I have to fucking shit so fucking hard
>"I'm gonna change anon, get comfy"
>she takes off her top and shorts, jet black thong she showed me in text and no bra
>can't see her tits yet because shes facing the wall and turning her head and smiling at me
>abought to grab that fucking ASS
>STOMACH GROWLS LIKE A BEAST
>I'm literally gonna shit myself
>run to the bathroom
>take a massive dump and it's loud as FUCK
>Her friend knocks at front door, "Heyyy girllL!"
>immediately after hear car park in drive way, her fucking family comes back, canceled trip
>NO FUCKING WAY
>no freshener in bathroom
>Walk out, her asian ass parents standing in hallway, her friend is there, shes there back in her regular clothes
>The stench wiffs past them
>Dad lets out the most asian "OooAhhOoO"
>I'm fucking embarrassed
>Mom awkwardly says "Oh w-wow, what did you eat"
>face is fucking red
>stay for dinner, almost nothing is said
>go home
>she texts me, "lol my parents fucking suck sorry about that, we'll def go hiking soon"
>work is over, never bother to text her again
>never got to smash that thick fucking asian ass.

>>730203328
25 and I've been socially inept for as long as I can remember

>>730203248
Thanks you're sweet

>>730203569
Not my name tho Bunny is a cute name

>>730203851
oooo :3

>>730203748
slightly relatable

>>730201965
This, seriously.

>>730203748
It only became autistic when you didn't contact her afterwards.

>>730205374
this

>>730204002
So do you want my email?

>>730203086
Actually he's wrong, lol.

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>>730203851
Well, there's no point in waiting for someone to break that social ineptitude of yours if you don't at least put some effort into starting conversation with someone.

Worst thing that can happen on here is that you'll have some awkward conversations. Best thing is that you'll be able to practice on losing that crippling self-doubt and get good at being a social being.

So whatcha waiting for femanon? Dew it!

>>730205854
Ok but no dick pics (to start)

Throwaway email - [email protected]

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>i find beauty in odd things, like cards wrapped in paper or things folded in certain ways
>sometimes i have full conversations in my head, i heard its pretty autistic but i thought everyone did this.

>>730205839
but anon 4chan is 2chan's english speaking brother. of course it's was made with anime in mind

>>730205854
you're right, my becoming social has to start somewhere I'' try my best >u<

>>730206092
lol

>>730205374
Guess that really outlines just how autistic anon is

>>730206457
stop see this is why I just want to be left alone ;-;

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>>730206613

>>730205729
sure, sorry I was looking at discord

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this whole anonymous thing has gotten confusing

just uploaded 1GB of bananas

https://mega.nz/#F!9LpghYBR!EIUCNXLSmqEXEouJMmHayQ

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>>730206457
Good to hear that femanon! Don't forget to respond to incoming pms!

>>730207538
/b/ really needs a id thing
is this femanon btw

>>730202606
you're a liar with a dick

>>730201828
"Girls"

>>730201633

>>730202606
>>730201633
>"female" pretending that being a female isn't as simple as picking through a firing line of potential retards to fuck
>the whiteknighting that ensues
Congratulations, trap. Everyone fell your your ruse. Now, post your feminine dick.

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>>730208119
>>730207828
>>730207912

here is this good enough? or do I need a timestamp with my tits for proof!?? It's not hard to believe women can be on this site too! I don't know why men would pretend to be girls online to trick other men (das gay tbh)

>>730208325
post tits

>be me @ 19y/o
>SOLID 8/10 qt in room
>shes sleeping over - already have a fair idea of whats going to happen
>we start fooling around
>both pretty much naked about to fuk
>shes giving me blowjobs
>im going down on her
>shits getting real hot
>she says "take me"
>me - "wut"?
>she says "TAKE ME" again - louder more desperate & horny like
>me - "what? what do you mean? where do you want me to take you? and like, now? It's pretty late out"
>her "forget it - this was a mistake"
>she leaves

>realise 10 minutes after she leaves she was begging me to fuck her when she was saying "take me"

fml

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>>730208325
I am the anon you were asking to give the email to

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>>730205729
>>730206092
>>730206613
these aren't me. they're pretending to be me
I'm way too nervous to post my email on /b/ becuz of shady people like these

>>730208599
oops forgot to link you sorry anon -> >>730208906

>>730208972
all good
no id can be heavily confusing

>>730199106
next time just say 'you can crash here if you want'. it's literally that easy.

>>730208560
lol you messed up big time. hit her up again, maybe she still wants you

>>730209695
Not likely, a bit late for that now - was 19 then - 24 now
haven't spoken since.

Not the only time i messed up like that...
Have a few other autistic grill related stories good for some laffs that happened since.

Doing just fine now on the girl front and keeping my autism down to a minimum.

>>730210306
good for you anon
posts some of your old autistic stories I wanna hear them

autistic bump

>>730210473
>>730208560

Ok grill related autism pt.II

>be me @ 20 y/o
>at university - doing computer science degree
>not exactly your average comp science nerd - probably the chad of my course year.
>nursing school right next to comp sci school at the uni
>HEAPS of qt's in nursing
>end up talking to this one really hot blondie between classes a few times
>we decide to meet up outside of uni for drinks
>go out to a bar, have fun, chat - do this 2-3 times
>texting back and forth
>her knowing i do comp-sci asks if i can come over to her place and help her "fix a computer problem"
>reading between the lines - see the potential of what this implies
>go over to her place
>she answers the door wearing underwear and silk nightgown
>giggity.jpg
>really basic wifi/network issue - done in 2 minutes
>she wants to give me a "tour of her house"
>she takes the laptop with her
>end up at her room, she sits on the bed and puts the laptop down
>start making out
>I get on top of her
>rolling around on the bed
>about to take her bra off
>somehow my leg spastically ends up kicking her laptop off the corner of the bed
>laptop_rekt.jpg
>screen completely smashed - unusable
>she was furious
>try to calm her down and apologise
>asks me to leave

did not get le sex

>>730212081
damn that's rough but also funny

>>730197354
>all of them
>>>>all of them
>>>>all of them
>all of them
meht fo lla<<<<
meht fo lla<<<<
meht fo lla<<
>>>all of them
>>>>all of them
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meht fo lla<<<
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>>>all of them
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>>>>all of them
>>>>all of them
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meht fo lla<<<<
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>all of them
>>>>all of them
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>>all of them
meht fo lla<<<
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>>>all of them
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meht fo lla<<
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>>all of them
>>>>all of them
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meht fo lla<<<<
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>all of them
>>>>all of them
>>>>all of them
>all of them
meht fo lla<<<<
meht fo lla<<<<

>>730208906
Still here femanon?

>>730208906
Why don't you post your discord or something?

>>730215485
this

>>730215485
because it ain't easy

>>730215730
You can always remove people.

bump for more autism

>>730208325
look femanon, as a fellow femanon you just can't be offended when people ask about tits. you can't get all shitty and bitchy when you say youre a woman when its not necessary. i avoid my gender like the plague typically for that very reason.

basically, don't come to 4chan, announce that you're a female for no good reason and then get fucked off when people ask for tits. the whole point of the rule is so that femanons don't post about being femanons for attention, therefore deterring any need to specify gender. if you can't figure a way around it, expect to get called out. this is a mans world, baby.

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>>730197354
> be me
> lazy af
> fake a mental illness to skip school
> free drugs
> three school cucked by now
> the degree is near
> gg

>>730217473
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUe4j6S8aIE

>>730215730
>>730216212
this, just remove the spurgs

>>730217473
post tits