Ight /b/itches... >stoner thread >i wanna hear your wildest

>>730181312
eating ice cream with a lighter? hes not stoned hes fucking tripping

>>730181430
Idk man... iv tripped before an never thought of that

File: 1435952636435.jpg (24KB, 540x960px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 540x960px

>>730181312
I once got really high and posted on 4chan.
That's about it.

>>730181923
#troo #byootie

File: received_598351953684454.jpg (22KB, 500x378px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 500x378px

>>730181923
Oh man thats wild. 8/10

One time I ate a dime sized ball of hash before work. I work in a steel shop and was doing a lot of grinding at the time. The sparks were so goddamn vivid I was mesmerized into putting my face all the way into the midst of them. I also remember walking around vibrating so hard it felt like I was levitating. Never found anything as good as that hash since. Don't even smoke anymore because everything sucks by comparison.

>>730182328
>steel shop
>"yeah great idea get high and work with dangerous equipment"
safety nigger here

>>730182328
That sounds like literally the worst place to ever be in while stoned as fuck.

>>730182328
Will?

>>730182516
>>730182559
Those sparks tho mane. Like a fireworks exhibition right next to your head. I wore a face shield of course.

File: 1492904412411s.jpg (3KB, 125x125px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 125x125px

One time i smoked 3 blunts back to back with my sister and her friend. My sister knew i had a crush on her friend so we played spin the bottle. First go landed on my sister. We all laughed and spun again. By the 4th time i got my kiss. But i noticed my sister was looking at me out the corner of my eye. When i looked she looked away and smiled a little. Oh shit... some time passed and we smoked again. Im super fucking high. Im walking down the hallway, its poorly lit, i seen someone coming the opposite way. Its her friend. Feeling ballsy i grabbed her ass when she passed by. It was my sister. We both stared... she took a step closer.. put a hand on my chest. I grabbed it to move it away... but... instead we ended up pulling eachother closer and making out.

>>730182674
No sir

>>730181312

I smoked northern lights and this shit happened,

like im a seasoned stoner smoking for 3 years now yea? ive never had this happen before or again.

>smoking bowls in the whippie with my trappers Daryl and Sean
>smoking said northern lights
>a bowl in and i fucking get paralyzed in the back seat.
>they are just passing the bowls to eachother ignoring me but I scream that im frozen
>my spine was stiff and striaghtened me out and i couldnt feel a fucking thing
>im panicking
>im smoking while im writing this
>im panicking
>we leave the car and im getting shat on for acting like a bitch on this weed
>im about to enter my dorm when.....

I puked in the bushes and greened out in my room. I was never frozen again

>>730182862

woah

>>730182862
Dude... OP here... what in the fuck lmfao im cringe laughing but also intrigued

File: received_598350973684552.jpg (9KB, 261x189px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 261x189px

>>730182951
Dude pass that shit!! XD ~op

File: article-0-001604A100000258-289_634x457.jpg (43KB, 634x457px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 634x457px

i like to piss on other peoples laundry at the laundromat when nobody else is around watching their clothes

File: tumblr_mfuz3uLAUT1rqu47to13_r1_250.png (43KB, 223x214px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 223x214px

Not anything particularly dangerous or crazy, but I used to work at a convenience store. Almost every day, I would smoke a bowl before work because it was basically a do-nothing job and I knew I could handle it.
Well one time, I got some really dank loud. Like, knock you on your ass, question existence itself kind of dankness. And I smoked a whole bowl of it before work.
Let me tell you, for the two hours before my workmate came in to join me behind the register, I kinda panicked. I swear, every person who came in knew I was stoned out of my mind.
Especially the one guy who I forgot to give his 14 dollar change to and just stood there while i gave him a blank-eyed stare.
MFW
Good times.

>>730183351

you tell a story OP

>>730182951
Fuck bro Thats never happend to me but if I smoke a gram or more of some good shit I puke and green out every time got any tips?

File: tumblr_mu3pu11iIo1r2g7mto1_r2_500.jpg (40KB, 500x280px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 500x280px

>>730183647
I agree, I wanna hear a page from OP's book

>>730183647
I used to work at walmart as a sporting goods associate. Did alot of overtime manning the front register. To help pass the time on my ot id smoke some dro. Well this guy comes up and im ringing his shit. Pretty usual. He hands me the money and i punch it in but somehow i hit all the wrong numbers and i put in the guy gave me 6890 dollars and the total was only like 50 or 60 so i owed him over 6 grand in change. ~op

File: 4197281385824163.jpg (4KB, 140x126px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 140x126px

>>730184316
Sounds about right.

File: 5.png (673KB, 711x533px) Image search: [Google]

673KB, 711x533px

>one time a friend of mine and myself went on this haunted ohio tours with this old fat gay pedo historian guy
>He would call "SUMMER RULES!" and that means every boy has to take off his shirt.
>He would take off his shirt and wind it up like a towel and try to smack our asses.
>Surprisingly didint get raped.

ANYWAY fast forward

>Be rolling a blunt with my friend driving
>He says "Hey, remember that haunted tour crap when we were younger? There is a haunted road right there.
>We toke up and start driving down the haunted road.
>Nothing really going on, kind of lame.
>Then out of no where a giant white bat flys into the windshield
>Wasn't a bird, it was definitely a fucking white bat.
>We just hurr durr and toss the roach.
>Next thing I know I see a flash out of light and we're pulled over on the side of the road
>Uhh we'rent we just driving? What the fuck?
>I look at the clock and like 2 hours pasted.
>We see little flying orbs in the field across the way
>Nope it the fuck out of there.

To this day I'm not sure what happened.

>>730182862
Is your sister hot

>>730184571
You got raped

File: received_400985353618259.jpg (21KB, 640x640px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 640x640px

Continued... i had to wait almost 45 minutes with the guy before a csm came and thank god it was brent cause he was higher than a georgia pine. The customer was bitching saying he wanted the change and it was owed to him for us wasting his "precious" time. What happened next was hilarious. Brent corrected the error, gave him the correct change, but when he handed it to him he fake sneezed and dropped the change. Mind you this customer was like 500 pounds and couldnt bend over. We watched him try to pick it up for like 10 minutes lmfao

>>730181312
>Quit smoking in 2013 for new job
>Pick it back up 2016
>Start right back off blasting a full bowl
>Super fucked up
>I forgot to buy munchies
>I decide to walk to the store
>Walking is the absolute hardest thing I've ever done and I can see it in peoples minds that they know I'm fucking bean boozled
>Get into the store
>buy like 5 bags of chips and candy
>begin my journey home
>make it all 2 blocks back home safe and sound
>dig into chips until I make myself sick
>Boss calls, wants to swing by to return my hatchet (We went camping the previous week)
>Forget he's coming as I eat more
>Get really tired
>20 minutes later
>Forget boss knows the code to my garage
>I'm now passed out buck ass naked on my couch
>Boss walks in
>Sees me
>puts hatchet down on the ground by the door
>Leaves...

We don't really talk about that day

>>730184690
Kim is 6/10 with a phat ass and D cup tits. Sarah is 8/10 with bout the same size tits but not so great of an ass. But i walked in on her fingering herself on skype with her boyfriend... she has a PHAT pussy and from the sounds it was juicy asf

>>730183737

i think its really dependent on the person, everyone reacts differently. Try smoking more and like staying hydrated and eat something good.

Did some Jorge's Diamond a while back with about four of my bros, got so messed up from bong/bucket hits it ruined my depth perception. Everybody seemed to be like 2D cut-out cardboard frames from a carnival shooting range and I couldn't focus for shit. Wasn't feeling OK at all but still hot knifed our last bit of Pineapple Express from yesterday and ended up bare warped. Genuinely put me off weed for months.

>>730182862
fake and, possibly, gay

Once I was out of this planet baked. And whilst cooking pancakes with a friend I slowly just lied on the ground and began stripping and rolling around naked on the tiles. I think that's about the worst

>>730183627
authentic and heterosexual

discord raid wot raid dast shit https://discord.gg/c3UHU

File: 1492393166238.gif (1MB, 193x135px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 193x135px

> me and two friends are doing a drugweekend.
>stock on food booze weed and some acid.
> smoked like there is no tomorrow and then we took some acid.
> one of my friend is holding a ps4 controller and playing some soccer game .
>graphics are in like SuperHD or something and the movement are too real.
> imfascinated.jpg
> my other friend grabs another controller and starts playing against him.
> they are playing with insane skill like esports wise.
> somethingisafoot.file
> look again. One is holding a ps4 controller ,the other is holding an AC remote contol and the tv is showing a regular soccer match.
>watched them play for like 6 hs .
>mfw i told them there was no ps4 in the premises.

>>730186372
but who was ps4 controller?

I usually play yugioh while baked amd one time i smoked way to much and i was having the match of my life till my friend said "you good" then reality came in that i was just staring at the wall. Best trip ever imo laughed for a good hour

>>730186564
Lol wut?

>>730186937
Gtfo newfag

File: 1444701655037.gif (2MB, 350x200px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 350x200px

>>730187048

File: 1492402817062.png (84KB, 512x512px) Image search: [Google]

84KB, 512x512px

>>730187308
Hurr durr i was just pretending to be retarded lelele

>>730187906
i love you

>be me back in 2014
>hanging with arab friend
>playing halo when suddenly his brother comes in
>dude pulls out about 50 grams of weed(not sure what kind, but he called it "Babylon's fall")
>he offers me and arab friend some
>I decline trying to be "straight-edge"
>arab friend's brother calls me a bitch
>I tell him to fuck off and take a big hit
>badidea.jpeg
>not too sure what happened next
>wake up next morning
>arab friend laughing his ass off about previous night
>apparrently the weed was spiked with poppy extract
>apparrently I can speak fluent arabic when stoned and started shouting about reclaiming the holy land

>>730183627
I do that now. One time some kid came in at the ccrack of dawn for a ccarton of smokes and when i went to Id him, he grabbed the ccarton and ddashed. I leapt over the counter and chased him yelling "HEY! HEY! HEY!" over and over until he dropped the smokes. I didn't want to engage him, I just needed to scare him, but it was cuz I was hella baked I kept shouting the same thing for like 30 seconds. He must've thought I was about to fuck him in the butt.

File: cm.png (272KB, 635x476px) Image search: [Google]

272KB, 635x476px

>>730181312
>first time
>in a shed in friend's back yard
>get high as shit
>and subsequently thirsty as shit
>his fridge is empty
>ohfuckicantbelieveyouvedonethis.jpg
>we walk to the tom thumb up the road
>see a cop car parked there
>enter panic mode
>friend says let's just take a different way around
>we take the other way and the cop is gone by the time we make it
>i try my best to not look stoned as fuck as i get our sodas and buy ice cream for both of us
>we sit down outside to chow down on the ice cream
>walk back to friend's house
>finally make it back, first time high and i had to go and make a transaction in a public establishment
>and i survived
>fuck yeah
>all feeling of accomplishment suddenly disappears when it hits me
>we left our drinks when we sat down outside tom thumb
>mfw

File: 1482565419017.jpg (299KB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]

299KB, 1080x1920px

>>730181312
>be me
>don't smoke
>rarely drink
>decide to try dex since it's cheap and easy as fuck to get.
>slow dose with gelcaps over 2 hour period
>not really feeling anything
>has been an hour since last group of pills
>my ygyl playlist sounds better than usual but that's about it
>turn to look at the clock
>everything does that lag/jitter like the 6 million dollar man run
>tilt head to the side
>entire world shifts, am in another fucking dimension
>gliding around the cosmos like that kid in Kingdom Hearts
>feels like an eternity
>nujabes, jamiroquai, and tech n9ne are the soundtrack to my flight
>eventually come to realize I've spent 7 hours just lying in the floor
I find it hard to imagine weed providing a more fun experience for less money while still passing a standard drug screen.

>>730181312
DUDE

>>730181312
>be me, 23
>first time visit USA
>night
>got some weed
>shit is strong, extremly strong
>go on the beach
>make 4 J - one for everyone
>get stoned as fuck
>becoming a Mountain
>I am heavy as fuck
>Scared i will fall through the Ground
>Paranoya
>want to go to my room
>Cops are comming
>shit
>they will deport me
>start walking
>the Car is following me
>walk faster
>Car is Following me
>turn left, then right, run
>Car still follow me
>run into forest, hide
>Car waits 20 minuts then go away
>go to sleep
>next morning
>roommate is lmfao
>shows me video
>car is a Taxi Cab
>i called him to bring me to my room
>i was running away from the Cab i called
>kek

File: FB_IMG_1491192835788.jpg (15KB, 725x599px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 725x599px

>>730188298
Fake and gay

lol weed amirite

>>730189243
>>730190151
you havin a good time fellas

>>730181312
>go to buy weed
>friend has a deal 30 dollars for half of mids
>awfuckyeah.jpg
>drive over to his place
>scale it out
>I hand him the cash
>he walks out in sort of a hurry cause he told me he had "stuff" to do
>He drove off
>was walking off his driveway to get in my car
>get stopped by his sister
>"hey you're anon right?"
>"yeah?"
>we talk about random shit, I was in school still and apparently she was just a grade below
>she knew about her brother dealing, and didn't really like it that much
(Cont)

>>730182951
Sure that was clean weed?

>>730189192
That sounds like acid m8 ~op