Hey faggots. This is real, not a drill. So I checked my mail

Shoe on head

>>729945948
Fucking launder that shit. Literally nothing could go wrong.

Shred the check.

>>729946107
You don't think they can trace where the money went to? Or is there a way I could cash this check without any trace?

>>729946207
Nooooooo literally nothing could go wrong.

They can't trace it if you do it right.

yeah man just like rub your dick on it and magically everything be fine and stuff...

>>729945948
sure why stop with one federal crime when you could commit two and provide a direct link between you and them both?

>>729945948
burn it AND WHY WOULD YOU POST THAT YOU DID A CRIME ONLINE FAGGOT
you better hope no one looks into you

>>729945948
dad probaly sent another tho honistly

>>729946782
Go big or go home fagit

>>729945948
you should find a large cylinder in your house and shove it up your ass to prep for your future.

>>729945948
Dude give them the fucking check faggot. It's probably already been canceled but still, if u get caught fucking around with that it's guaranteed jail time

>>729945948
Straight up cash it OP just take it to your bank and lie and say you're the dude the check is made out to. Since your'e a giant faggot.

Easter was last sunday.

So you kept your neighbor's mail, had it for less than a week, and decided fuck it, it's been too long, guess I'd better open it

nice.

>>729947220
to late it is opend just burn it and frogot about it

>>729945948
Go to your neighbour. Say I'm very sorry about this. I throw all my mail in a pile and sometimes it takes me weeks to sit down and go through it. I was running through this stack of mail today on autopilot and I already had it open before I realized it wasn't addressed to me. I'm really sorry I didn't get this to you sooner.

If this is too much for you to handle tear the check up and hope that she was aware a check was supposed to be arriving so she can inform dad she didn't get it.

Unless you know they're millionaires, don't steal from people. Its a dick move

dont be a pussy and just tell him you got it and opened it by accident.

Give it back to your neighbour and say that you opened it by mistake and didnt realize it was not for you. You dont get yourself in any trouble, and everyone ia happy

BURN IT OP

>>729947144
Dubs of truth confirm.

You sure got a purdy mouth there, boy.

>>729947298
Yeah ur probably right

>>729945948
Soak check in acetone, then rub gently with q tips to remove the ink. Then write in whatever amount you want and cash it.

>>729947319
>>729947366
>>729947385
will not work its all crinkled he allready tryed to get rid of it
burn it op i am telling the truth

>>729947319
This OP

Well how about not shredding or burning it, just give it back to your neighbor and gain some trust points?

>>729947319
This is what you should do.

I work at a store and I had a woman call our store asking if we found a wallet. I said no (kinda shitty area). She starting bawling and getting hysterical saying she pulled out her rent in cash and now has nothing and pleaded with me to check each store beside us and beside them.

Money's rough on everyone. Don't be a dick - be a dude.

>>729947536
If OP lives in apartment odds are most of the mail is crinkled anyways because they usually make apartment mailboxes too small

>>729947613
>>729947592
>>729947634
no dude you will get in shit op dont lisson to white knights burn it or you will go to jail

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>>729945948
God damn /b/ is fucking stupid this is OP's check his daddy sent him because OP is a poorfag lmao.

Dude probably needed that for an emergency, bills, or medical. Begged his pops for help, and your retarded ass fucked it up. Hope its not to late for them, Faggot. I'd literally beat you until you couldnt move.

Fuck you faggots. Here's what Im going to do. Im going to scan the letter, make it look real nice as if it wasn't opened. Remove the sticker and attach it to another letter. Forget the To and From shit, print a picture of a big black dick, put it in the envelope, and send it to my neighbor (because I can't open their mailbox).

Bwalah. Now they will wonder why their dad sent them a picture of a black dick on it.

>>729947742
you fucking suck at shilling, kid

>>729947715
have you lookede at the pic its clear it was more then regular crinkle
burn it to ash nothing to go to jail as evidence, proof

>>729947888
Lol kek. Try me bitch

>>729947319
Yep, literally did this to a roommate once. I have the only mail key and he doesn't usually get mail. Opened one of his letters by accident. I just put a post-it on there that said basically whoops, opened this before I noticed it was yours, then left it where I leave his mail.

Not a big deal really.

Although if its been a couple weeks they probably already realized it was lost in the mail somehow, canceled the check and sent another.

It would of course be foolish to attempt to cash it.

>>729947144
also after your done with your ass shove it down your throat for the cock meat sandwiches.

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TAMPERING WITH MAIL IS A FEDERAL CRIME!!

>>729947970
I'd beat you so hard you Mom would cry

>>729947996
Honestly wasn't going to check it. Just wanted to see what you guys would say.

>>729948134
you're a big guy

>>729948114
And this dumb fuck thinks I cant make out what was written and report his stupid weak ass just because I can

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>>729948134
Lol faggot

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>>729948187
For you

whats OP going to do?

>>729947742
No you won't go to jail. Yes it is a felony to open other people's mail but accidental situations do happen.all the time because most people don't look that close, they just open what comes in their mailbox.

Now if you try and cash the check then they will try and arrest you. Or if your neighbour can prove that you regularly steal her mail then they will try to arrest you

Unless your neighbour is one of these head shaking, finger waving blacks their most likely response is being glad to get the check. Even if check has been cancelled would be good to have it back so no worries about some asshole trying to cash illegally.

>>729948531
Going to slip it under their door and act like nothing happened

>>729948531
Time

>>729948607
I didn't steal it. It was just in my mailbox.

>>729948638
faggot
burn it and send pics

>>729948781
And went on the internet to ask about forgery

JAIL RAPE OP
OR BURN IT

>>729948781
Took pretty pics for us all :)

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Just find a sketchy check cashing place faggot. One run by Indians or chinks should do.

I found a place that would take me logging in to a fb account w the same name as the payee as proof of ID.

Walk over to his hose and tell him you accidentally opened it thinking it was your mail, dont be a dick anon.

>>729949131
RAPE IN JAIL for doing the right thing
OR BURN IT
and keep a asshole of average size

>>729948781
Didn't say you did, just stating instances where you would be getting into trouble.

OK slip under door. Less upfront but at least she get's check

>>729949384
how do you know its a her?

>>729948886
To be fair, he didn't ask about forgery. He said "what do?" and another anon volunteered it.

Make a photo copy of the check (something that looks almost real) Then put it an envelope, and put it back in his mail box. Then when he puts cashes the fake check he'll get in trouble for floating a bad check.

>>729949575
Because it's a girls name.

>>729949596
Exactly. Never asked. Was just wondering what you guys would say.

Mail fag here. There is no way to track letters or any other mail for that matter IF there is not a tracking barcode that says usps scan. The only way any one will know is if you tell on yourself. NEVER GIVE ANYTHING BACK IF IT DOSE NOT HAVE A BARCODE AND THE MAIL CARRIER DOSE NOT ASK.

>>729945948
just note, as far as evidence against you goes, this thread exists

>>729949807
THIS!!!

>>729949596
Fairness is for the fair, this is /b/ and what comes of this now is his doing.

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Because we dont care

Just say you didn't read it when you opened it then realized it wasn't yours when you read the cheque. Simple

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Arent those black pickets on the bottom right of the envelope specific to each piece of mail?

Also CHARLOTTE NC is visible as well as "ms." and "Se"

Here you go dickwads

>>729950197
Also, I'm not in NC.

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>>729950362
Wait whoops.

>>729945948
Honestly, if you just cash it you'll be fine.

>>729949575
Misremembered OP thought it said to daughter. Address starts with Ms though.

>>729950405
BURN IT FAGGOT

>>729950197
The small black barcode on the front and the neon orange one on the back are printed on the letters by the sorting machines, and are for directing mail to the right sorting machines

>>729947742
This guy has no idea. You'll get in more trouble for destroying it op. They'll know that another tenant must have taken it, you're already a suspect, and the police live will probably come by soon to ask you some questions. Just return the cheque to the rightful owner.

>>729950011
>/b/ is srs bsns guise
Yeah ok buddy.

You're fucked op. Burn it, returning it this late will be suspicious af. Your prints are all over the latter, do not return it.

>>729949807
Mail carriers sometimes make mistakes, especially if they're subbing someone else's route. If you get someone's else's mail, even if you accidently open, no problems will come unless neighbour is major prick who's looking for fight. If neighbour is normal person no problem. Sometimes things get mixed up and you can be getting someone else's mail numerous times. If you don't give mail to correct person and person complains the postal inspector will investigate. If you've been receiving a pile of someone else's mail and don't return or don't report to post office to pick up, then again, you will get in trouble.

Plus the Never give anything back advice is essentially advising theft, even if you destroy the mail. I've had a magazine that they typed the address so it went to house 3 doors down. Neighbor returned (I thanked) so I could see typo and notify magazine to correct address on subscription. Would have been pretty cheesed if I had found out neighbor was chucking them out.

Holy shit you people are fucking autistic.
How does this become such a fucking issue that you need to post here about it?

To all the people saying to cash it, do you even know how checks fucking work? Do you really think "the seedy place down the road" is going to let you cash it? They won't. That's the thing about checks is that they are safe to mail because some down syndrome cunt can't fucking steal your check.

Having a fucking conniption over what to do? Seriously? Just give them the fucking shit. Just say "gee golly gosh, it sat in my mail pile and I opened it and realized it wasn't mine".
Done.

Yes, messing with a person's mail is a federal crime but this isn't; it's only a crime if you are intentionally stealing mail (it was placed in your mailbox) or you are doing some weird fucked up shit.
They can't go "hurr durr he opened my mail then gave it to me" because that's not a crime.

If you're really so broken and socially inept that you cannot handle this then just throw it away and consider killing yourself because you're so broken you have no place or use in this society.

>>729951940
Lol. Love these reactions. Already slipped underneath their door.

>>729951940
Lol nah

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>>729951716
Hello other mail fag.
All the people on my route hate each other so i tell everyone if i ever make a mistake just leave it as outgoing mail and i will fix it tomorrow.