What is this feeling /b... everything just is. There's no

You're participating too heavily in 4/20, just drink some water and take a nap, faggot

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>>729945589

>>729945589
follow the primal emotions built into you. Being in love is a great feeling. My second favorite feeling is gambling...

Think about being a black hole.
People know you might exist, some think you dont exist. Nobody can see you or hear you
You will be alone for ever and just destroy everything on your way
Does that mean everybody on b is a black hole?

>>729945954
I am completely sober. I'm not sad. But I'm not happy. I just don't care. About anything. I want to. I think I should but I dont. Lost my girlfriend last month. Didn't phase me. She fought and argued and troed so hard to get inside. I just told her to go finally she did. She could feel that I didn't care. My Mother can feel that I don't care. People around me in general think there's something wrong with me. I think I'm fine.

>>729946770
This feels like a good analogy of an average males life to me. We do not intentionally destroy it's in our nature.

>>729946514
I used to love that in itself is a gamble. I'm not a gambling man myself. I work to hard for what I have to blindly risk it.

>>729946514
I really like gambling too but i rarely have left-over money to actually try it
Maybe later on when im gonna be finished with university and have a job

>>729947838
Ah the early twenties such a hopeful time.

>>729949099
dubs of painful truth...

>>729949195
Especially with young folks these days. It's a throw away generation. I swear people treat relationships like cell phones.

>>729950213
True for a lot of cases
My little bro told me theres a guy in his class who has his 6th "girlfriend" and he's prob around 16

>>729947066
Bear with me for a second OP. I'll either fix ya right up or send you further down the rabbit hole.

Nobody else can directly feel what you are feeling. Nobody else can directly experience what you experience. Your view point of our universe may as well be the only view point to exist, since you are all that you know. For the sake of easy explanation: You may as well be dreaming and nothing else is real. Same with me and everyone else, maybe. This is uncomfortable, but it doesn't matter.

You're right, there's no greater purpose or reason for the universe to do it's thing other than... it's doing it's thing. Reason and purpose are human constructs; the universe doesn't give a shit and anything that could be called it's "purpose" is not explainable by human means.

This leaves you feeling like a useless speck of sand on a beach much bigger than you. This is the feel. Nature will pick you up and carry it's course, unknowing that your speck of sand is conscious.

So then: The only point of view that matters is your own. Therefore, the only purpose that matters is one that you create for yourself. If you let yourself say it is pointless, then it is pointless. If other people influence your purpose, then you are letting them influence it. All clear?

Now, as for finding or making your own purpose when you still feel empty? That's the tricky part. But life is tricky, isn't it?

>>729945589
The "feeling" is probably "mindfulness". Not seeing things for anything more or less than they really are, which is so common in consumerist societies.

If you start practicing mindfulness meditation, you stand to gain a lot from it from where you are now.

Here is the best "how to" I've ever found outside of books. It omits the Buddhist religious bullshit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLvU7ppM4vE

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In a complicated spot with this girl I love. We held each other, held hands for the majority of the day, and even kissed a couple days ago. I told her that I love her and she said it back. Only problem is that I live kinda far away and she has a boyfriend she lives with. I texted her "We can run away together and speak in a language only we understand." She replied with "haha xD"

I'll figure something out

>>729950213
Didn't know if you were referencing the girlfriend part, or the part about finding a good job out of university at first. Works for both though eh?

>>729950860
As for me with the job part its actually gonna be hard to find a job but if i found one it might be the one im gonna have to stay in for a long ass time

>>729950983
I feel that. I figure as long as it's a job I don't take too much discomfort in, it's really no different than any other shitty job. I can put in the time, get my pension, and fuck off. Don't know why I care, but c'est la vie

>>729950633
OP here.
First of all. Nice dubs. I understand what you're saying. You pretty much got it nailed down. But giving myself a purpose beyond existing. I wake up work pay my bills etc. Having purpose doesn't guarantee fulfillment.
>>729950640
I practice meditation and exercise regularly. I'm also an artist. A writer and a musician. I used to enjoy these things now they just feel like a chore or something to do when I'm bored of one or the other.
>>729950860
>yes, it does.

>>729951590
I have the same postsecret saved somewhere. It breaks my heart everytime I read it.

>>729951995
> A writer and a musician. I used to enjoy these things now they just feel like a chore or something to do when I'm bored of one or the other.
I had the same problem or however you wanna call it a few years ago
I would really enjoy making music but at some point it just felt like i had to convince myself to do it
Idk what happened but after a pause it came back and i could enjoy making music again
So your non existent feeling/caring might be over soon

>>729951150
One of my favorite films. I can shred the rooftop guitar solo.

>>729951166
>Dubs of truth

>>729951590
I lost my dog a couple years ago. That's the last time I felt real grief. My grandmother died shortly after and despite loving her to death. I didn't cry I didn't feel anything I just accept she's gone. People die.

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>muh feels
>tfw no gf
>i can only afford a small apartment
>no college degree
>family doesnt like me

Meanwhile people are starving to death in Africa, getting blown to pieces in the middle east, working 16 hours a day and still struggling to survive in India.

These threads are the epitome of white people problems.

You faggots want to hear something? You're not going to like it and I know self involved "depressed" teenage to early 20 somethings don't like to hear this... life isnt fucking fair, nobody said it was. Shit could be better, shit could be worse. You want to know why you're miserable fucks? Because you don't know what real problems are and you refuse to work on yourself because whining is so much easier than putting in the god damn work. Shitty job? There are ways to get into college, or stick with the job and be the fucking best at it and get a promotion. No gf/bf? Develop a fucking personality outside of 4chan and depressing memes. Fat? Go on a diet and work out and don't buy into the "muh metabolism" shit. You're fat cause you eat, you're lonely because you whine instead of having a personality (you can't guilt trip someone into wanitng to spend time with you) and you're broke because you spend money on stupid shit and refuse to make an effort at school or at work. Your parents hate you? Holy god, what drama! Well guess what, so does everybody elses.

Put in the effort. When Morgan Freeman was asked if he felt growing up black in the 50's and 60's made it hard for him to succeed he said no because he didnt make excuses. "People tell me theres no way out of this town... and I tell them "man the buses run every damn day"."

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>>729950772
Do you guys think I should pursue her? Maybe try to get her to break up with her bf or just move on? Although I've been trying to move on for years with no success

>>729952401
I wouldn't call it depression. I'm not sad. I guess I'm just more curious where other people get their spark from. I don't feel like anything is wrong with me.

>>729952596

For me, it's thinking about the cold metallic table the dog lays down on. Not entirely sure what's happening to it, but seeing who it loves most in the world leaving through the door as the needle slides in, and everything just fades to black. Reaching out to you with everything it has, and it can't even move. It won't move.

>>729951995
Why does life need to be fulfilling?

If your current purpose does not fulfill you, what purpose would? Can your current purpose truly be called your purpose, then?

Why would this new purpose fulfill you more than your old one? Do you even know what would fulfill you? The grass is always greener, they say.

>>729952915
You clearly have not read the thread. Go back to bed chad.
>>729952976
Yes, always go after what you want in life. No guarantee you'll get it but you have to atlas try.

>>729952915
Pain is relative

>all these r9k dwellers complaining about girls

Why the fuck are you relying on another person to make you happy? Make yourself happy, fool. It sounds more like you want a mom to take care of you.

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>>729953397
>>729953530

OH look excuses and bullshit.

How's that been working out for you guys so far?

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>>729953269
i'm too fucking tired for this shit

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>mother was a bipolar, anxiety ridden, depressed maniac
>father had an abundance of anger issues and addictions
>I have a highly addictive personality
>I lash out at everyone I care about, physically and psychologically
>I get depressed afterwards because no one loves me and its my fault and I have no one else to blame but myself
>too much anxiety to make new friends or talk to new women
>extremely angry one moment, blissful the next
>someone called me a 'sperg' on 4chan and I threw my mouse at the wall
>inb4 'sperg'

>>729953095
It's tough. My dog had inoperable tumor. Shitty. I don't intend on owning pets ever again.
>>729953263
I don't feel like somebody needs a purpose. Passion maybe. I don't intend to an hero. Existing is a gift I understand that and I don't intend to waste my life. I'm just completely apathetic and I'm content with that. It confuses me because I'm aware that it's outside the norm.

>>729953788
You're the one who's butthurt about a bunch of anons enjoying a bit of catharsis at our own expense :^)

No one cares about Africa, no one cares about what you think, and most of all, no one cares about you. That's why you're here.

>>729952915
Yeah just because people are starving in Africa means that all of my problems are fucking stupid right?

Thinking about suicide on a daily basis is just a meme? My misery is 100% fucking retarded just based on the fact that there are people out there that suffer horrors that I'm not accustomed to?

Just keep your dumb fucking mouth shut.

>>729953922
You were born with the difficulty slider slightly higher. Pull up your pants, take a deep breath, take control of your own goddamn mind and body and stop letting the sperg break your shit. And maybe get some meds.

>>729945589
there is not
get over it faggot

>>729954027
Fair enough then. You are content to apathetically exist. Then what does it matter what the 'norm' is? Who gives a shit, right?

>>729945589
The main purpose of human life is to diversify the human genepool. Live long enough to have offspring.
Basically, quit thinking so hard and get laid.

I'm not sad
I'm not depressed
I'm not angry
I feel nothing

I find comfort in isolation
Even though I constantly strive to get out
I always find myself back here
Happibess makes me feel like shit
Sex makes me want to take a shower and wash my skin off
I feel alone around other people
I just want to float.

>>729954027

If you wan't to feel something about life, having pets is a great way to simultaneously improve, and fuck your life straight up with emotions.

>>729952915
>Meanwhile people are starving to death in Africa, getting blown to pieces in the middle east, working 16 hours a day and still struggling to survive in India.
Because people somewhere else on the planet have bigger problems means that my problems are irrelevant and stupid?
Also OP never mentioned being depressed, fat, having a shitty job whatsoever

>>729953922
You sound like me 12 years ago. You can get through it man. Believe in yourself. Don't have any reason? You exist. You don't have to be happy about it but you don't have to be angry either. Anger just exacerbates your situation. You're already fighting so much in the world. Don't be your own enemy as well.

>>729954448
I'm just curious about my own nature and others.
>>729954620
I don't feel like I would be a suitable father. Also lost 3 children. Miscarriages.

>>729954634
I'm on the level with most of this except for the oart where happiness makes you feel like shit. That doesn't sound like happiness, elaborate?

>>729955495

Can honestly say I've never lost a child like that. Granted, I've never knocked a girl up either since I really don't want children yet. Same boat on the front of being a father though. Teaching them to not be a shitter seems easy enough and all though.

>>729955845
You can do great and be a great father. The world will still fuck with your kids heads on a level that'll always be out of your control. I wouldn't want to bring another life onto this dirtball. Nobody asked me if I wanted to exist and if they did I'd have said he'll to the naw.

>>729955495
I will start doing the things that make me feel happy, or proud, or bring me enjoyment, and within a few minutes i'll start to feel this overwhelming sense of guilt, and start to think about how lame all of these things are, and how shit a person I am. So I guess happiness doesn't make me feel like shit, but when I'm happy I end up feeling worse then when i'm just empty. Happiness brings me unpleasant thoughts and feelings.

>>729956289
We can't always be there for our children, but we can give them the tools to be there for themselves.

>>729954037
>>729954155
Don't feed the trolls
>>729956350
First off nothing that makes you happy is lame. Where do you feel your feelings of guilt stem from?

>>729956796
I had all of these things. They don't matter to me.

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>>729956796

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>>729956996
>>729956997
we were the two most sequential posts on /b/
love you

>>729956289
Wow anon. You're basically me

>>729957080
I was proud of that as well. Love you too buddy.
>>729957108
Well, I wouldn't be surprised to find that alot of other people feel just like us.
>>729957141
That's why I can't do another pet. Too much feels that are guaranteed to be cut short. I do love animals though. But that's like a placebo happiness.

>>729956681
I've been trying to figure it out for a long time. This is what I have so far:

When I was a kid, I was nice. I was quiet and read a lot of books. I grew up in the countryside, and moved back to a big city in second grade. I didn't make many friends. And when I eventually did, I decided who I was going to be, if you may. The cool kids liked and played football, so I liked and played football. The cool kids skateboarded, so I skateboarded. The cool kids went to parties and hooked up, so I did the same. At the time, I thought that this was life; companionship and comraderie was when you could look around and realize that you are one of "us". But the entire time, I never felt any of that. I looked around and decided that I was happy. But when I went home and read fiction, I played Elder Scrolls, I read about weird history stuff, I felt good. That was what I was driven to do.

I remember being 18 or 19, and going into Denny's with a group of the cool kids at 2 or 3 in the morning. We grabbed a few booths and started ordering food. We noticed that there were four or so neckbeard guys playing D&D a few tables over from us. People were making jokes and laughing, throwing bits of garbage. One guy threw a fork. I remember getting this overwhelming feeling and having to go to the bathroom. I broke down and started crying. I realized that I had become a bully, in feeling that I wasn't a special or cool or interesting kid, I had started suppressing that part of myself, and it ended up spilling out onto others. I realized that I have done the opposite of what I actually had wanted to do for most of my life.

I'm 21 now and I feel like I have multiple personalities that I'm completely aware of.I know I don't have a disorder. But I feel like I've created this person who I'm not, and I have someone completely different inside. I don't feel like I've ever really had a friend.

If I tried to talk to any of my friends about this,they'd ask if I was high or something.

Cont

You either create your own purpose or you kill yourself. Either way, we're all going to die.

>>729957703
>That's why I can't do another pet

I used to feel the same way, but my mom told me something that really made me think.
It may be hard to lose a pet, but you gave that a pet a wonderful life for the entirety of their short life span.

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>>729957703

Same guy as here
>>729957080
>>729956997

I've buried several dead pets in my backyard, along with several other random dead animals I've found.
Stop being a bitch

>>729958204
And what really gets me is that I continue to choose to be this person whom I'm not. I watch myself hook up with women. I watch myself use slang and talk about whatever's cool right now. I watch myself be a douchebag to people.

From time to time I break down and come to tears when I think about how I've been to people. I remember taking a girl's virginity and playing it off like it was nothing, like it was just part of life, like I didn't care, and like she shouldn't either. But I remember catching a glimpse into her eyes and realizing that she was just like me, that she had someone else inside her, and that she just got even further from that person. I've never seen someone's eyes so sad. And while I wanted to say sorry and hug her and tell her that she needed to stop going down this road, I kept my mouth shut and drove her home.

I hate myself for that.

I just want to be a nice person, to have friends who are nice and want to sit somewhere and talk about philosophy and history and vidya and stuff like that. I just want someone that I can tell these things to without the fear of them callinf me weird or giving me "that look" that people give me when I start to talk about this stuff.

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It gets better, guys. It really does.

I know I sound like a normie and saying "it gets better" is the depression equivalent to "just be yourself xDD" but you've gotta have hope. No matter how small that hope is.

>>729958221
This is true. But since I have died twice already in my lifetime. I am uncomfortably aware of the fact that there is no life after death. I'm in no hurry to get back to the void.
>>729958442
I understand it's just not for me. To each their own and what not.
>>729958204
This sounds familiar I'm looking forward to the continuation.

>>729958931
To add to this, I've been in a very bad place for 5 years now. It's on the verge of turning into something good, but it can still go tits up. You've just gotta hold on.

>>729958848
You just gotta be yourself bro. All these friends you're making are going to be gone in 10 years. You will still have you though so stay true to that.

>>729958931
Eh I dont know, ive been in a pretty big decline in my life no matter what I do for a very long time. Hope just makes things more painful IMO

>>729959465
You're right. It's still hard; every now and then I get this strong urge to atone, to make things right, to be a better person, to be who I truly am. But I keep falling back into those circles.

I swore into the military recently and i'll be leaving, so I hope that I can start new there.

I'm afraid that i'll start new and end up reverting back to my old habits.

>>729959935
Which branch?

>>729959904
Why do you say "decline"?

>>729960591
As in no matter what change I implement or what I try and do to work on myself nothing ever gets better and in most cases things get worse.

I guess though as of right now things are pretty static... Idk I don't really have hope of any future anymore at least, the depression has won out in that regard.

>>729959935
KEK! You think you can be yourself in the military!? Fuck man, thats like conformity brainwashing 101. I don't mean like high school "gosh conformity", I mean it is your job to have the same personality and cognitive style as everyone else type conformity. Geeez, how could you think that the military could possibly help? You think they are nice to D&D players in the army? Sheesh...

>>729960972
There's a nice way to do that.

>>729960910
I always tell myself the best place to build a foundation is rock bottom.

>>729961380
Haha yeah maybe its a good ideal, I just think you have to be younger to feel that way.

>>729961380
>there's a nice way to do that
Perhaps, but in this case I really wanted the shock to hit home. Sincerely, I honestly want him to reconsider his plan.

>>729961702
Why are you against the military ?

>>729961701
Maybe. Even if you're older giving ups not an option unless you intend to an hero.

>>729960502
Air Force.

>>729960972
I know this already. And the person that I am lines up with the people in the branch I joined. I know that I am going to be molded like everyone else, and I'm looking forward to that.

What I meant by "getting to be myself" has more to do with the little things; I can actually be nice to people instead of being a bully. I'm encouraged to do the right thing. I'll get to be around people who are doing something with their lives and who actually want to be there.

>>729962750
I sincerely hope this works out for you.

>>729947066
I tell you what I think: depression. Yes. You are at least depressive and should seek help. I say that because you're not feeling, as you said. Feeling bad sometimes is better than not feeling at all because it still says you care about something. You should seek a higher purpose in YOUR life. I agree with you, "there are no reasons", but things don't make sense on their own... Try to create a sense for yourself...

>>729963099
Me too. And even if it ends up being a massive mistake, free college, rent, travel and food. It'll be something to latch onto.