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Anyone on /b/ hear voices or have a genuinely bad mental disorder

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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

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Anyone on /b/ hear voices or have a genuinely bad mental disorder that distorts reality? I don't hear enough voices to have a conversation with them but I do hear background chatter occasionally.

I am interested in hearing the perspective of someone who goes through mental torture due to a condition they have

Or call me a faggot, whatever.
>>
Why do the voices always seem to be bad things? Why can't a friendly voice tell you that you are looking good today?
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>>729917620
go 2 a therapist
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>>729918081
It will happen one day, but i'm cool right now. This is about everyone else's stories
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I have OCD to the point where i think about really fucked up and gory shit. I barely cook for myself because I'm afraid of getting food poisoning from raw meat and I spray myself with lysol daily. Going to a psychiatrist next week though.
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>>729918351
In what way does OCD cause you to think of fucked up shit and barely cook? Not judging, just curious
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I have schizoaffective disorder. Dozens of alien abduction experiences. Shrinks say delusions due to child abuse.
Very real to me.
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>>729918735
In what way do they feel real? At what point does reality slip into this delusion that you suddenly can't tell the difference between? Surely after the 2nd or 3rd "alien abduction" you would then know that all further abductions are just your mental disorder
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>>729918538
It's subconscious really. Imagine thinking about the worst possible outcome of every situation and making 100% sure that said outcome doesn't happen. You do compulsions to get rid of obsessions but it only makes it worse. I know that what I do is completely irrational, but I start doing things and can't stop sometimes. Part of my OCD is I pull out my hair and pick at my skin without realizing it. I kinda have to catch myself doing it and stop it.
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>>729918735
I dissociate a lot, too. Faces change into other people. Everything becomes a dream. It's rather pleasant at times. Scary at others.
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>>729919008
I have very slight and just inconvenient OCD where it's the traditional stuff of not feeling right if I don't touch something in a certain way or I have to put something in a different place or everything feels weird.

Would your worry about a worst possible outcome be classed more as anxiety or OCD?

The hair and skin thing seems like a nervous twitch, do you find your OCD gets worse when you are nervous or under stress?
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>>729919161
>>729918735

What were the early warning signs to these disorders and what was the moment that made you realise you needed help?
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>>729918901
No, they are real, as real as my daughter. When someone tells me they aren't real, it's like saying my daughter doesn't really exist. Yet I know I have a daughter. I remember her birth. I remember school plays. I saw her last weekend. I'll see her this weekend, in fact.
Aliens are the same. It's a regular cast of characters usually, too.
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I hear voices regularly. Its like my whole life is narrated by assholes as i do my daily tasks. I use think everybody were secretly demons, that everything i did was recorded, and that people were trying too poison me, and that i was being attacked with "energy" before i got medicated
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>>729919428
But you see your daughter even when you aren't having an episode and everyone else can also see her. You would only see these aliens during an episode. Is that not like a Lucid dreaming moment where you can make the distinction and realise it's all in your head?

Or are you too far gone by that point to make the Eureka moment?
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just read this
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>>729919625
Is it one person or multiple?

What do they say to you? Is it always bad things or can the voices sometimes be pleasant company?

How did the voices change after being medicated?
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>>729919377
I cracked up in grad school. Early 20's. I was studying creative writing, and working on a novel. I started having panic attacks and seeing alien faces come out of the computer. Sought help. Rohrshach (?) test was off the charts. They had a forensic psychiatrist evaluate me for psychopathy, but they determined I had just been severely abused as a kid.
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>>729917620
Voices in my heard are my biggest enemy
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>>729919289
OCD is an anxiety disorder

but yeah OCD for me kinda comes and goes with stress. i'm in college for finals now and its pretty high, but during the summers and breaks i feel mostly fine.
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>>729919825

In the end it all comes to that we all want to have sex with our mother.
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>>729920097
fuck off freud
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>>729919642
You're starting with the premise that they aren't real and must be due to an episode. But there hasn't been an episode. Which would mean I've been having a continual delusion for decades. That doesn't seem possible.
Shrinks are wrong.
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>>729919825
Had you infact been abused as a child or was that his opinion on what could have happened?

It's strange that something like that in early childhood can result in the brain choosing to see and hear things that aren't really there. I wonder what the connection is between trauma and delusions and why it's so common
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>>729919625
Medicated with what?
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>>729920097
Yum!
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>>729920133
If it doesn't seem possible to be having a continuous episode then what is your thoughts on what you are seeing?
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>>729919823
One or multiple it changes. They usually insult the way im doing whatever it is im doing. Sometimes the voices are nice to me and i will have a nice long conversation with them. Medication made the voices happen less and i no longer believe they are reall people
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>>729920199
Emotional and sexual abuse at the hands of a very insane mother.
Shrink says the delusion is the brain creating what it missed out on in childhood and desperately needs. I don't know why it would take the form of aliens.
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>>729920253
Lithium
Haldol
Seroquel
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>>729917620
I don't have a disorder that distorts reality but, although I haven't been diagnosed (planning to see a psychologist sometime), I believe I have really bad OCD and avoidant personality disorder. The OCD has caused me to make routines for EVERYTHING and for my mind to be bombarded with awful, homicidal thoughts toward everyone and anyone. The avoidant personality disorder I suspect I might have has prevented me from being able to trust anyone or form relationships.
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>>729917620
I was actually diagnosed with psychosis at 6. I hear alot ally of voices everyday and I make friends with them every time they talk to me. That's why I have no friends. Oh yeah i also go through sleep paralysis every night. It's really fun to see your imaginary friends come to life.
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>>729919625
What medication do you take?
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>>729917620
Yeah. I have full blown conversations with my self.
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>>729917908
This guy gets it. :( I'm with you
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>>729920816
Lithium
Haldol
Seroquel
>>
doesn't everyone have a mental voice?
like when I read, I hear the mental voice saying the words. or doing math in your head.
or when I don't want to speak, I say things in my head instead.
isn't this normal for everyone?
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>>729920374
Real beings. I don't know if they are actually from outer space flying around in ships (although I've seen a bunch of UFO's), or if that is an illusion/cover story. They lie a lot.
I believe they might be like archetypal beings from a collective subconscious, an actual, physical place in all our minds. The beings want to come to this realm very badly, orchestrating a takeover with hybrids. They have been around a very long time, and are the basis of all the mythological beings throughout history--genies, elves, fairies, leprechauns, Yahweh, Allah, etc.
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My bro told me he could hear the doctor talking to the patient in the next room, we were in a field at the time on acid. Quite amusing really
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>>729921051
The problem is when your mental voice becomes another person
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>>729921051
But what if you're out in public and hear people talk shit like 100% of the time
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>>729917908

Some people do hear voices saying nice things.. or even just random stuff. They don't tend to whine about it on the internet though.
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>>729921344
I dont understand how thats related too what i said
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Hmm I don't think it's voices in my head, but I often have imaginary, aggressive arguments with people, in my head, and the older I get, the more often I slip up and say some stuff out loud to myself. That must be what is happening to all those crazy mumbling hobos.
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>>729917620
hearing voices huh? what brain melting fucking drugs have you retards been taking?
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I don't hear voices.

im just constantly haunted by every confrontation that i've ever been in.

that conversation you had where you said something stupid 10 years ago? i remember it every day in the shower or on the shitter, or when im trying to fall asleep. i cant stop thinking about them. its a constant haranguing of bullshit moments of my life that sucked.

missed opportunities, fuck ups and failures that i blame on other people. i was taking steroids for a while to beef up and that turned that regrat tap off and gave me something else, an insane rage about everyone that ever made me FEEL like i'd fucked up was suddenly the most toxic piece of shit on earth and i wanted to stomp on their throats.

now i sit in the middle. some days i just feel like an autistic faggot, and other days i feel like its everyone elses fault. sometimes i go through both multiple times in the same day.

the worst part about all this is that i'm considered a very normal/bland person by most of my co-workers and people that i know. they dont see me sitting up till 4am trying to box shit up mentally just so i can get some fucking sleep.

years of this shit.
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I was diagnosed with schizophrenia at about age 14. Amongst other things I hear a variety of voices some good some bad some neutral. The important thing is how you relate to them and what influence they have on daily life. The diagnosis changed my life but it meant I get the treatment I need. I'm a slave to olanzapine but that's the way it goes.
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>>729921700
Not him but on the other side of the coin some people think without an inner voice. It can be hard to comprehend if you've never done it, try to imagine how a deaf and blind person would think as an example, words aren't entirely necessary. People can be pretty different man.
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>>729920097
>In the end it all comes to that we all want to have sex with our mother.
freud is so fucking retarded, moms are all ugly old ladies. guy has got a freaky fetish tho
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>>729917908
Because then it would just be "internal monologue".
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>>729922176
The same we are all taking my friend

>>729922209
What would this condition be called? Is it an extreme form of anxiety?

I feel you though how to everyone else we seem like completely normal got-our-shit-together type people but if they only knew what went on inside our heads
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>>729921033
Damn anon, I'm surprised you can type taking that combo
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>>729919008
I used to have a lot of compulsions. I had to only walk on one color tile in a tiled place, and could never touch the cracks, otherwise I had to retrace my steps and try again. I had facial ticks (still have one, but most don't notice it unless I point it out). I handwashed about every hour. I had to keep a beat to whatever time signature I was obsessed with breathing in and out, keeping it symmetrical, or alternating breaths if it was an asymmetrical time signature, while also walking in-step with the beat. I cannot stand the sound or feel of rubbing paper to this day. There's more, if I can remember, but puberty changed a lot of it and I think that hallucinogens had some role in (mostly) fixing me. I was diagnosed with ADD in middle school, but I also lied to the psychiatrist and on the questionnaire because I knew I was weird as fuck and tried to hide it as best I could until I was alone to survive school.
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i hear voices all the time like my dad saying "work that job but dont work your life away." and my grandpa saying " you can have a few but dont ever cross that line"
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>>729923266
fucked if i know. probably bi-polar considering at it score it's mood swings and anxiety.

you cant talk to people about it, once its out in the open nobody will ever trust me to do my job again. its not that debilitating anyway. i still do my job and everybody thinks im fine so i must carry it ok. the day i get a diagnosis is the day my life ends and i'm on the "he's fucked in the head" train.
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Yeah i have voices in my head. No not school shooting shit and killing people(kinda) more like i have a hyper imagination like i will speak to myself asking myself questions and shit
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Sometimes I hear unintelligible muttering and sound effects from video games I've spent a lot of time in.
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>>729923842
That sounds like it would be hell to live with especially when its totally down to you to change the pattern. OCD is something that seems like nothing more than an inconvenience but can completely control people's lives

>>729923876
Is this meant to be a reference or are you serious?

>>729924059
Do you want to get a diagnosis so that you can have a reason to not need to put yourself out there and you can finally have time to yourself?
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depending on my mental state, good or bad making a long story short, its like i entirely change character, its more severe on bad days, but voices remain either way >
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Is it a sign of schizophrenia (or a sub-type of that) to believe you have schizophrenia? To feel like you have almost every symptom except for the main one which is hallucinations? I get delusions and fucking everything else but I don't see things and rarely hear anything and I feel like that's the most important part so psychiatrists won't take me seriously
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>>729924698
You don't need hallucinations for it to be schizophrenia. Delusions meet the criteria. But maybe you have schizoaffective disorder, which has milder psychotic symptoms coupled with a mood disorder (depressive of bipolar types).
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>>729917620
>My mother has schizophrenia, but mild in comparison to the severe end.
>whilst pregnant with me she was constantly beaten badly by her partner
>she smoked, drank and did a bit of speed
>with younger brother she took loads of drugs, LSD, heroin, etc
>my brother hears voices all the time putting him down
>I have times where I can literally see two 'realities' overlapping each other and can't tell which is real
>sometimes hear people whispering around my house plotting to kill me
>i go straight into fight with no flight response seeming to be there (doesn't mean I'm kicking ass left and right, just means I end up in the worst situations quicktime)
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>>729924248
Lol I do that, thought it was normal.
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>>729924698
Schizophrenia is so broad, smells even come into play.

I was having an episode of psychosis on my motorbike, and all I could hear was my engine/exhaust playing Feeder Just a Day, the chorus, on loop.
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>>729924059
Really selfish of you, anon. Get help. You're gonna crack up one of these days because you're too afraid of labels and won't take care of yourself.
Imagine if taking medication for bipolar would make your life 1000x better than it's ever been.
You're cheating yourself, coward.
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>>729925148
Hallucinations seem to be the thing most commonly associated with schizophrenia and if you don't have that they will say you could have X, Y or Z but I feel an inability to cope with life and when I last went to the doctors I left with a note saying I had a "Nervous disposition" which is completely untrue. If anything I am surprisingly laid back for someone who believes they have a lot of mental problems

Is having mood swings the difference between schizoaffective and schizophrenia?

>>729925782
I've heard about smells although I can say my smelling is all but gone, it's weird but I can barely smell something even if it's pushed right up to my nose.

What did you think of hearing that on your bike? I would have felt insane
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>>729925391
It is normal in the sense that it's common to know people who do this, although the varying degrees of how much you talk to yourself is what makes it weird.

We all talk to ourselves at some point, maybe once a week or a couple of times a day but at what point do we start classing it as strange?
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>>729926268
Schizoaffective can be either bipolar type, which is schizophrenia plus manic-depressive mood swings.
Or depressive type, which is schizophrenia plus depression.
The psychotic symptoms are milder than in schizophrenia, and there's often just delusions, no hallucinations.
And why the hell am I typing all this shit. You know how to work the google machine, anon!
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>>729927311
I appreciate the fact you still entered the CAPTCHA and hit send to give me that piece of information though. I'll look it up now anon
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