Please help me /b/ >Be 18 >Been looking for a job for

Amazon force

when i doubt, McDonalds

Become a Wendy's chef.

>>729665615

whoa anon- it's possible to get a job off craigslist in a few days, no dl needed

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>>729665615
where did it go so wrong that your mom dumps your ass on the street at the age of 18?

>>729665771
>>729665784
Applied for both, no responses.

Maybe try some job agencies?

Join the military, request Europe for your first duty station.

>>729665708
I dont have a car, how local are they? Also I hear that theyre very competitive since a lot of people want to work there.

>>729665834
Thats what im saying. Ive wasted my life in my room and theres nothing else left. If this doesnt work out for me im not gonna lie. Im just going to kill myself.

>Go to local restaurant/s
>Hi my name is anon, you need someone to do dishes here at your restaurant?
>Problem solved

Your Mom sounds like a bitch. Shove her down a flight of stairs and collect the life insurance.

>>729666039
Don't kill yourself. Do this>>729666040

Why no high school diploma? You drop out? I am disappoint.

>>729665615
Why do you suck so bad
Get a fucking warehouse job

>>729666040
Tried this at local dennys/ mom n pops inn. Both gave me an application and fucked me off. Havent heard from either since.

>>729665615

I think you're just retarded and need to kys

How the fuck does someone not get ANY job?

There are a million gas stations, Walmarts, fast food places and whatever hiring low skilled workers in EVERY city...

Lemme guess, you haven't even physically walked into a place and applied, all you're doing is putting out online apps?

If so, you're an idiot. Take a shower, brush your teeth, put on nice clothes and start fucking walking you dumb shit

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>>729666106
>mfw 1 story appartment

>>729665615
Military bro. You'll get good pay and training, and can get your associates degree while you're in and get paid to get your bachelor's once you're out. Go to the recruiters office asap

>>729666205
They all want forklift drivers.

>>729666240
>Try more places
>Give up

Pick one anon. Also, go to a restaurant which isn't a fastfood chain.

>>729666240

Did you even bring the applications back? Did you make a follow up call a few days later?

>>729666184
Didnt have a choice. Mom told me that I needed to get a job and that school wasnt going anywhere. So I dropped out to open myself up to full time jobs. Jokes on me right.

Maybe get someone to look at your resume (community centres and unemployment services in your city will help for free), if there are usually grammer or spelling mistakes they chuck em. is there something wrong with your appearance and mannerisms that is. Try looking to be a dish washer, janitor, cleaning services. Volunteer in the mean time to get some references. If you have a bike, deliver food on uberEats or other similar services. Look into construction as well. Check different job sites like indeed even kijiji. If you are good with animals, walk dogs or house sit. But dude you gotta get out there and hustle for a job. There are a lot good advice from other anons. Hope you get through this anon.

>>729665615
Seriously you deserve to be homeless.

>>729665615
Go to one of your local Union halls or trade association offices and get an apprenticeship. You'll start working immediately making more than wage cucks while learning a trade that'll have you in the middle class by the time you're old enough to go to the bar.

>>729665615
learn to tie a rope.
then hang yourself

>>729666539
Get your GED ASAP. If you join the military you can do it while you're in.

>>729665615
First step
Stop blaming other people for everything.
It is a sign of immaturity.
The only thing you can control in this world is yourself
Be honest.
Say you'll work hard
And people will respect you for that.

You could always suck dick for money OP!

>>729666260
You're wrong and you're the idiot. I have done both. Ive tried giving apps to cashiers, Ive had managers come out to talk to me (ended horribly called me unprofessional and not to bother them while theyre working) You just dont understand anon.

Dude first of all go into the woods and scream your lungs out, get some of that anger out of your body. Get focused. Then take a shower, comb your hair and put on your best clothes.

The next step is very important. You need to go to these companies and talk to them face to face. Practice selling yourself, make yourself seem like a good choice. Talking to someone face to face is completely different than writing an email. It is much harder for you, and it takes a lot more energy, but it is also much more effective. Now they are in a position that they have to respond. And you will have a much higher chance on getting a job.

Also feel free to lie about what you can do. I'm serious, if you are desperate go for desperate measures. At least exaggerate your feats

>>729666521

This.
After you hand in your application to place that is hiring. Follow up and ask what you did right/wrong/where you can improve/any other locations they are hiring at? And thank them for their time.

>>729666729
Lol OP is an autist

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>>729666539

You're mom sounds like moronic trash if she gave you that advice. Trash raising trash.

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>>729666667
>>729666665

>>729666521
Yes of course. I didnt call but I didnt spam them, didnt want to piss them off.

>>729666039
Tells us stories that will make us believe that you actually have a reason to kill yourself.
As I said your mom wouldn't dump your ass on the street without a good reason.

>>729666729
Sounds like you've got little to no social skills, which is a huge hindrance in trying to find employment. Join the military dude, they don't care if you're an autist. They'll teach you discipline, work ethic, cleanliness and most importantly politeness. You can get your GED while you're in and be in a good spot to succeed in the private sector after your contract is up.

>>729666729
Hmm
How many tattoos do you have
I think we need a picture of you for the full story

>>729667079
This.

>>729665615
>single reply
Thats your problem, you need to call them back after a week and make an inquiry.
Fucking lazy millennials

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>>729666729

"ended horribly called me unprofessional and not to bother them while theyre working"

Hahahaha...so it IS just just being trash

Yeah KYS

And yeah, I do understand. You have no clue how to be responsible because you're garbage mother raised a garbage kid with no social skills.

>>729666039
Dude don't make jokes about killing yourself. You're only 18... That's kinda fucked up if your mom is going to kick you out. Why do you didn't finish highschool dude.

>>729666544
I might check out ubereats, thank you.

All you need to put on a job app is due to your blank blank blank skills you will make the company more money by doing blank blank blank. If you can demonstrate that you understand that your only use to a company is making them more money than someone else while getting nothing in return they will hire you.

Military.

>>729665615
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBnNyhx_jzg

>>729666729
You sound like my little brother
Blaming everyone else

>>729667329
This.

Dude you are 18. Your mom is probably threatening to throw you out because she wants to light a fire under your ass to try harder and to make something of yourself. She won'y always be there to pick up your slack. Because when we are at our lowest points in life, that's when you figure out how to get shit done.

>>729665615
I'm not picking on you anon, but what is it with so many "kids these days" not having a drivers license? It's fucking weird.

>>729666729
I bet you handed in your apps and talked to the managers while you were unshaved, dirty and uncombed hair, dirty clothes., with tattoos and piercings, and a Trump T-shirt. Plus I bet your attitude was shitty and they could tell you would be a terrible worker.

So I cant help but notice you are ignoring all of the military suggestions. Are you a special little snowflake?

>>729665784
Rekt and kekd

Come live with me. I'll get your silly ass on the right track OP. Job and all.

Looks like OP is a attention whoring faggot since he didn't deliver some ACTION in the thread. A little STORY wouldn't hurt.
I really hope you find a reason to kill yourself for the lack of good larping in exchange for attention.

nigger.

>>729667924
No it's cause he's lazy as fuck and he knows it would break is needy irresponsible ass.

Oh well, he'll learn real fucking quick on the street.

>>729667860
uber or mommy driving them around

Dicks

>>729667860
well allot is cost of having a car, there expensive and is not easy to buy one on a mcslave job in highschool , on time of insurance and all the hidden costs.
>Doesnt help both boomers and gen x'ers think there shitboxs are worth something just becasue they're old and want 4 times what there really worth
also technology, when were we kids we had to go outside and go to far off places to have fun, we had a reason to get a car. Most kids today grew up with vidya and youtube and are content with spending all day in there rooms watching animu.

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>>729667079
>Lived with mom until 10, dad was never really in the picture until then
>Was a weekend fun dad type
>Never got along with mom
>Always yelled
>Im a calm minded person so we just dont share like minds
>Mom always let my stepdad beat me when he got off of work
>nearly every night
>Couldnt take it anymore
>finally work up the courage to ask my dad to move in with him
>He lives with his girlfriends parents
>took him 2 weeks to convince them
>finnally get the ok to move in with him
>He puts me into homeschool (online)
>dont want to go outside any more
>scared of most adults
>Lose all friends, havent spoken to them in years
>spend the next 4 years in that room

>My mind finally breaks
>Going insane
>ask why I wasted all my life in my room
>Cant think of anywhere to go
>Decide plan to kill myself
>3am
>Go to liquor cabinet
>Decided my plan was to take every pill there was no matter what it was that was in the medicine cabinet
>Wash it all down with as much hard alcohol as I could drink
>Crying
>somehow manage to get myself to call my mom
>she picks me up
>move in with her
>things start to look up from here
>Nope
>Stay in room for another few years in the same rut
>Stepdad stopped beating me as I got older
>stood up for myself now

>Now back with same choice

Job or suicide.

>>729665615
Hahah heres the best part, I forgot that I cant even fucking call people. My mom stopped paying for my cellphone too. Fuck me no internet, and no phone in few days. Homeless next week.

Im losing hope bros.

>>729668786

GED and Military. Your only option. You are clearly too damaged to be employable.

>>729667860
I tried to get one, I went through all the fucking classes for it too. Now I cant even afford to pay to take the test. Even if I got the money im fucking terrified to take it because if I fail then im fucked.

>>729665615
Are you slim/normal/fit?
>Yes = Go in the army
>No = garbage man, stock boy

so your mom is abusive. Time to sever the relationship forever. Join army, get experience and funding for trade school. Finish HS. Never see bitch mom again.

>>729666387
this. military is always my back up plan if life fails

>>729668786
join the military, join the navy even its easier.

>>729667924
Haha wondered when this would bite me.

Yes I have thought of military.

I scored in top 4 percent of the country on the ASVAB

But neither my mom nor my dad would sign for me to go.

>>729668363
>>729668786
cheers

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>>729666667
>>729666665
oh my god

>>729665834
he dropped out of high school

>>729667007
Bug the piss out of them, it shows you need the Fucking job

>>729669492
Nice.

>>729665615
blowjobs around the corner for $10 each, its the only way

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>>729669428
you're 18, isn't it enough? Im from Europe so I dont know about US military laws, but with all the jokes about people being old enough to join the military but not have a beer... i thought at 18 you can join by your own will

>>729669801
Well yknow. 18 to post here.

>>729669428
You are now 18 you retarded piece of shit. You don't need them to sign anything now.

Military.

You no have ZERO excuse other than you are a lazy piece of shit who is afraid.

>>729665834
i know right? OP you really should've stayed at school, that gives you at least an excuse to fuck around and stay at home until you're 18. Then you have a few years on top of that to test your parents patience until they kick you out, by that time you're into your 20s! You done fucked up.

>>729669936
You dont really understand my situation but thats ok anon you dont have to.

Im just at rock bottom and im asking for help.

Obviously im on fucking 4chan asking for fatherly advice, ive got nobody to turn to.

Also, you don't need them to sign shit as a matter of fact.

I joined when I was 16 on a pre-enlistment contract. Army all the way.

I was on my own by then and had moved out months before.

I didn't have anyone to sign shit even if they would have.

Stop crying with your excuses you faggot piece of shit and get to the recruitment office.

>>729668786
I've been through much worse guy. I've still managed to get a diploma, license, car, and work experience. Don't use that shit as an excuse. Man up and take charge of your life. No one in this world is going to help you and it's not easy. If you do decide to kill yourself, at least have the decency to live stream it.

>>729669228
I get that, and I get that cars and insurance are expensive. But having a drivers license is a fundamental requirement for independence. If you were making a list of things to do in preparation for living on your own, getting a DL would be step one

>>729665615
mcdonalds, retard.

>>729665615

Been there.

>>729669668
Bull shit. That doesn't always work. I pestered walmart for two fucking weeks last year. Got a job with the school system. 1 month into working for the school system, I get a call from them asking me if I was still interested. Should've fucking called them back and said to them "where the fuck was this phone call a month ago???"

>>729666392
My first job at 18 they taught me how to drive a forklift

>>729670066
I think you should go army
I actually wanted to
They will pay for college
I wanted to go got other reasons to though
I regret not joining
My parents didn't want me to
I'm an electrical engineer now and I still regret it
I could have done something to be proud of

>>729670222
the school system eh? those sexy kids are hard to pass up i know

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Ok guys, im going to take screenshots of this thread for future references when my internet goes down.

Im going to go shave then take a shower.

Im going to do what
>>729666040
said

What should I wear. Im not gonna lie im pretty fucking poor. Suit and tie out of question.

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>>729669872
ah I see. but if that's the situation, can your mother legally kick you out? also, try callcenters, working in customer service or telemarketing. Those companies always need people, that's where I got my first job.

Why not return to high school though?

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>>729665615
You FUCKING lazy peace of shit you are 18 and can join the fucking army.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
FOLLOW OUR FUCKING ADVICES YOU FUCKING CUCK

>>729666040
do this. Simple.

>>729665615
Join the army?

Nigga I'm 20 in the same situation (except I have my degree) can't find shit, every warehouse job wants you to drive a fucking forklift and any else decent wants experience.

Wendy's here I come

>>729670362
I get that but the places ive been seeing here want you to already have the physical license.

I guess there are also different types of forklifts/licenses?

>>729670510
Exactly lmao

>>729665615
I'm into twinks, how much for that ass

>>729666729
Why would you give your app to a cashier? You autist

>>729670427

>>729670399

>>729670510
I drove a forklift at 16 as part of my summer job
Jeeze, just have a fucking work ethic
I worked my ass off, whatever hours they wanted.
That's what people want
I enjoy working hard

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>>729670510
general question, Im from europe so I dont really understand the american education system, but does finishing high school give you any qualifications for certain jobs? Or just allows you to enlist in a college? Is high school considered general education or do you get specialized?

>>729670768
Because the managers get pissed at me for taking them away from their own task

Boo hoo. Mommy is going to stop paying for my existence.

Cry me a fucking river you faggot piece of shit. I was dirt poor and raised by my single grandmother on social security my whole life.

I left home at 16 with $50 in my pocket walking.

I made six figures last year and have a loving wife. Life couldn't be any better.

Work hard. Stop crying like a little faggot whore cocksucker. Man the fuck up you bitch-boi.

If you want to get anywhere you have to be born lucky, or you have to work hard.

Neither of us were born lucky. But one of us worked hard.

You want some fatherly advice?

You are 18 son. You are a fucking child. You don't know shit about the world. You know absolutely nothing.

You are a child who is even more of a child than most teenagers by the sound of it.

Mommy kicking you to the curb and stopping the funding of your existence is probably exactly what you need.

You should go to the recruitment office for the military and explain your situation. They will either let you in, or they will not.

If that fails you walk you bitch-mode ass down to the nearest construction site and say, "I want to talk to your foreman. I just need a job, I'm willing to work hard. I'll do anything.".

I grew up working construction. It's a shitty hard job, but it pays because of the number of hours you will put in.

Construction men like the idea of a young kid who will walk up and tell them all they want is a hard job and a honest paycheck.

You walk on site and say that you are almost always going to get a job no matter what your situation is.

They won't give it to you because they like you, or even believe in you. They will do it out of a sense of working man's honor to give a kid who's actually willing to work and says he will do it a chance.

That's how real men are.

Go be a real man.

>>729670510
Tell them you've been observed but not certified. I can walk you through the controls on most forklifts.

>>729670399
Go to a local thrift store if you need to. Just a dress shirt/polo no t-shirts, dress pants, khakis, or jeans. Wear deodorant and brush your teeth. Anything close to business causal, google business casual. No sandals. I really recommend volunteering and learning some mannerisms and social skills for free in the near future

>>729670895
tl;dr

>>729670399
Dont forget to stock up on porn

>>729670397

High School... I work in the kitchen. Not the most glamorous job but the pay's good and you get all your benefits and vacation time up front.

>>729665615

join the military dipshit

oh wait you probably smoke pot

yea youre fucked

Military or Walmart. If you're not a total dumbass you can be making 15 an hour at Walmart in no time.

>>729670895
this brought tears to my eyes. beautiful

>>729670510
Go get your forklift certification retard.

It takes literally no time and no money.

>>729670984
yeah i was just fucking around. that's cool. the holidays (i suppose that's what you mean by vacation time?) must be good

>>729670872
Yes
If you don't finish high school, it generally means you're a complete fuckup.
It's a test to see that you're not retarded

>>729671026
walmarts in the next city over.

Also guys military really isnt something I want to do.

>>729670900
Not Op but interesting didn't know that.

>>729671158
Holidays and requested time off/sick days.

>>729669077
Digits speak truth anon.

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>>729671162
thanks i feel i get the idea

>>729667448
>>729666387
Give this a shot OP. you also won't have to worry about housing while you're in the army, and you'll be seperated from your bitch of a mom.

>>729671046
>bitch-boi
>claims to be good enough to get out of poverty.
whatever you say, nigga.

>>729670872
Most decent places want you to have a degree to show that your not a total fuckwit, some places like fast food don't care

>>729670895
Hey op
Where is your dad
He should have been teaching you these lessons.
This is more valuable than anything.

>>729669376
Mine too. It should be everyone's really

>>729665615
The trick here is to not get in debt. Stay strong. Don't fall into the trap of scam colleges and other things. A day labor place is probably in your area, all you need is a license, some safety gear, and they usually sell bus tickets. From there use the library on your days off to get a better job. Experience is gained slowly...save up, find a cheap apt, and work on a trade. Read what interests you., look what jobs are in high demand and go for that, teach yourself the skills you need.

Hey retard

You keep saying "applied, no responses"

You can't fucking expect to get a job by just sending in an application and sitting on your hands expectantly waiting for someone to get back to you

You have to go back every fucking day until they all know your fucking name, show them how bad you need it just by your presence
Don't be begging or anything like some kind of faggot, be confident, be forward and give them five reasons why you'll do great - say you're punctual, professional, hard-working, focused, anything- it doesn't fucking matter if you're lying, you just need to get hired to live

If you REALLY REALLY wanted it you would do this shit and get that job, pussy

Godspeed, anon, and may the gods be in your favor

>>729669428
Idiot, you can preenlist at sixteen you don't need parental consent for shit just an excuse to keep being a beta faggot just kys already

>>729670872
Highschool is basically a min requirement at most places. To show you a bare min of skills essentially. Canadian here tho.

>>729671423
Im trying lol. I almost got caught in a pyramid scheme selling $600 kitchen knife sets because im so fucking desperate.

>>729665771
They require a GED or highschool education

>>729666039
you know what to do if you kill yourself right? cause it's all about that G T A.

>>729670091
This guy has the right of it

>>729670510
If you can drive a car, you can drive a fork lift.

Its can be tough man, I work with my grandpa sometimes installing fire alarms and driving around scissor lifts but somehow not qualified to stock cans at H-E-B lol

is it actually impossible in the USA to get welfare as a white person or something? or is the shame just too great that it can't even be considered. because really at this point why aren't you looking into getting some social assistance sorted BEFORE you're homeless

>>729670399
Ok, so im going in jeans and a button up. Sounds pathetic but its the best I got.

So what do I do? Who do I ask? A waiter or ask to speak to a manager? Or just ask for an application.

>>729670895
Bravo.

>>729670570
Well I guess most places want you to have a regular license before they teach you the forklift. And to answer your question, no they "certify" you but there's no actual license for forklifts. It's as easy as driving a car which is why most places prefer you have a drivers license

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>>729671534
>>729671339
alright i get the picture.. so it's kind of like an extension of middle school, meaning everyone goes through it, and those that don't are most likely retarded or in other ways non-functioning people?

>>729670895
This anon gets it. OP DO THIS YOU SLOB

I got kicked out at 17, fought with my dad all the time, we both had enough. One thing I learned from him was work ethic. To this day I've only been fired ONCE, and it was because the place I worked had a "good old boys" mentality and I wasn't in the circle when something went down. I'm now a foreman in a chemical plant. I make a ton of money. It's a hard job, and I work long hours, but my family appreciates it, I own a home, two cars, and we don't want for anything.

Work hard and you'll get somewhere. No job will ever fault you for leaving them to go somewhere better, I've done it plenty of times. Sometimes they even make offers to keep you. It builds breadth of experience. I have food service, call center, warehouse, factory, and middle management experience, and it all helps.

>>729665615
>even convicted felons can get jobs.

Get convicted
Get job

Listen, if you don't have one of their requirements.
Be honest, but say you pick up skills really quickly and you're always willing to learn.

>>729670895
Fake and gay

>>729665615
go to Job Corps or the CCC (or something like that)

also why do you not have an id? shit I got mine at 16

make up some excuses about having interviews and chill out at a library to stall for time, GET YOUR FUCKING ID AND GED RETARD

guide to getting a job at any fast food joint
>get hsd equivalent (optional)
>get an id
>get a bus pass
>apply at every fast food joint
>hound them with calls
>someone will call you back
>guaranteed
>dress business casual (dress shit, slacks) when interviewed
>be pc
>give resume, bullshit under the table work experiences
>give names and numbers of your friends as references, tell them to make you look good beforehand
>constantly remind them that you are looking to work there
When hired:
>go buy some anti slip shoes
>cut your hair
>shave
>call for extra shifts
>always be on time

If you cant do any of this, just kill yourself ffs

>>729670895
God I wish you were my dad. Listen to this guy OP he's based as fuck

>>729672004
Yeah, usually. Especially considering that the GED that OP mentioned is basically a second chance. If you didn't finish high school, you can get a GED, which is like an adult education certificate, saying even though you didn't finish school, you've displayed basic education skills on par with someone who has.

>>729672033
Mostly was to say because they're older and even they have work experience.

Still kekd

>>729672158
It all costs money man, mom wont help me out at all.

But I still appreciate the advice none the less.

>>729672004
Yeah. Or in poverty, abusive homes, mentally ill, generally hopeless situations.

>>729671211
Lol look at this faggot saying he's about to kill himself because no job but is too good to serve his country.

Fuck off

Where do you live OP? I'm going to try to give you some actual help and not just advice.

Just city and state is fine.

>>729665615
Sign up at a couple of temp agencies.

are you fucking dumb? not in school and no job? join the fucking military if youre a guy. or mooch of a boyfriend if youre a girl. unfortunately i have friends that have made either choice

>>729671329
This. And if you're too much of a pussy to hang in the army or Marines there's the Navy, air Force or coast guard they're easier physically and offer a greater breadth of technical training

>>729672713
suck some dick for some cash or sell your computer and game systems to pay for it you fucking loser

do you have any kind of backyard? you can start stealing iron and shit from construction sites and make knives

hell, go rob a fucking store, or join the military

>>729672808
Im not too good or above anything alright, im just fucking terrified. Im just a kid ok its hard to deal with all this shit im gonna have a fucking heart attack.

get on welfare or join the military, they're the same thing; leeches on the taxpayer

>>729672832
Oakdale California

>>729672931
he's probably a nigger so he might do welfare

>>729671895
>>729666040
>>729670895

Go up to waiter or cash, first worker you see.
"Good morning/afternoon/evening, I was wondering if you guys hiring?"
*pause listen to what they have to say*
We aren't looking for anyone right now, but you can fill out a form.
*thank them and fill out the form and hand it in*
When you hand it in ask if they know if know anyone that is hiring, and that you urgently need to find some work. Then thank them for their time and and good bye.

It would be better to go to places actually hiring but you should do the above as well. Check kijiji for example. For call centers, cleaning, construction

Also read >>729670895

>>729665927
>request Europe
Having served in the military I advise against requesting Muslim nations.

>>729673030
you're a pussy you probably wouldn't even kill yourself. if you're gonna kill yourself at least have some faggot mudslime kill you nigger

>>729672720
stop making excuses for yourself

I have tried killing myself plenty of times, my mom is a meth addict and her boyfriends would either fuck me, beat me or both. My sister was taken away by cps because she ran away from the guy who ended up giving me the clap

youre a waste of fucking life who blames others and cant pull himself up.

are you fat? you sound like it, nigger

>>729673030
Dude your life is going to be a miserable torrent of humiliation and pain and loneliness forever anyway because you are inferior. Do the human race a favor and eliminate yourself

>>729673345
Thats not op genius

>>729673548
still applies to the faggot

>>729673345
can't even kill yourself properly... you really are a failure

>>729673345
Retard

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Ok guy I really didnt want to do this but this is my embarrassing resume. Just so you get some more insight on how much of a fucking failure I am.

Im forced to turn this shit in on (most) online applications. Its honestly so embarrassing but hell nobody reads it anyways.

No work experience but I was told I have to put something so I just jerked off the idea of dog walking and mowing the lawn.

>>729673729
Yeah well tell that to my six figure bank account, faggo
>>729673743
a bit

>>729673030
Dude I'm only a year older than you two years ago my dad drank his self to death and my mom ran back to Brazil leaving us with nothing I joined the air Force now im making decent pay as a radio system tech on base and have no costs since the force provides everything I need so I just send the money back to my brother so he can finish HS and go to college. You lucky fuck you don't even have a sibling to take care of you could be pocketing all that cash or investing it for the future you're in such a better position than I was at your age. Take a deep breath, calm down, and walk into your local recruiters office. Within a week your life will be back on track.

>>729673227
edit: "Good morning/afternoon/evening, I was wondering if you guys are hiring?"

>>729673844
Jesus christ. Jeeeesus fucking christ. Fuck

Here are some leads that aren't requiring education and might even train you in your area.

https://modesto.craigslist.org/lab/6092399420.html

https://modesto.craigslist.org/lab/6068281603.html - This one is actually in Oakdale and might be your best bet.

>>729673282
haaaaaaa good one

>>729673844
you need to whore yourself in your resume. do it again.

>>729673844
is this bait? your resume looks terrible my man. you need better structure and detail. and mention references on request

>>729673857
You're the six figure guy?
>>729670895
kek ok heres your (you)

so where do (you) work?

Try this anon, worked for me..
>be me, jobless
>pick a job I want and apply
>show up every morn (just before open)
>keep showing up every morn
>one day boss says "you're here every morn so obviously dependable"
>profit

Applying online will get you nowhere, they don't want lazy fucks that use computer to apply, they want to see people make an effort..be seen, be heard, show them you're ready and willing.

>>729673844
dude, really, even your resume reeks of self-doubt. You need to SELL YOURSELF in those things. Talk up your ability to communicate and your ability to solve problems with practical initiative. shit like that

>>729674039
Thanks :^)

>>729673844
dont do colors on an application
try to get 3 bullets on each job position
dont start with "hello my anme is faggot"

a good header should be centered, and read as such

David Davidson
123 faggot street apt# 69
[email protected]
Work Phone: (###)###-####
Home phone: (###)###-####

at the end of the resume, you should have something like:

References available on request.

have a separate page for references

>>729673844
Dude this screeeams fake and it just makes you sound even more retarded. Walking dogs?? My guy can yoy do literally anything? Fucking AT ALL???

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>>729674038
Wow thank you very much anon! I didnt even think of craigslist I really appreciate you going out of your way to even get me links. Thank you again.

>>729674081
No, those aren't the same guy. I'm the "long rant" guy. (Not both though.)

I'm an asset manager for a private hedge fund.

>>729674051
>>729674061
Yes I know its fucking sad but ive never made on before I dont know how to do one properly. I mean mostly my problem is I dont have shit to put on it.

>>729674478
The carwash posting is from a couple of weeks back, but carwashes are always looking for people because it's a terrible job honestly.

But, it's something in your city, you can walk in and apply (they expect you to), and they will literally hire anyone who shows up most of the time.

Walk in and tell them, "I have no real experience and I know that, but I want to start somewhere. I want to do a good job and have you as a great reference one day. I don't want to wash cars forever, but if you give me this job I promise I will be here on time and I will do my job well.".

>>729674396
also have your full address, forgot to put that
123 faggot st #69
Nigger, FG 66666

>>729674085
What do you do though? Just sit there? How long are you there for?

>>729673844
Get a professional to look at your resume, for free at a unemployment office or community centre. Google resume workshop or something near you. Look at actual resumes online and compare what you could be doing better. Just google some youtube videos on tips or online. Put done some education down, up to what grade you studied until. But seriously dude consider and do what this anon said as well >>729673987

>>729673844
Make up a believable job that a fucking autist could conceivably do. Say you collect/sell rare faggot coins or something and explain why you were so good and then explain why your experience at being a faggot will help you do whatever job you're applying for.

>>729673030
>kill myself
>join military

>eh, I'll just kill myself

and good riddance

OP, email me

[email protected]

>>729673844
Go to job corps. They'll feed you three times a day, give you a room with own bed and shower, has rec room and self owned gym for students, will pay your transportation costs, get you a highschool diploma or GED within two weeks, and train you in several fields of work
>be me
>16
>highschool drop out with no future plans
>join job corps
>got certified in welding, all positions, all processes at 17
>They gave me 1000$ at the end to help get my life started
>made amazing friends in dormitories and participated in relationships that will forever remain in my heart
>did all of this for FREE
>18 now
>full time welder and fitter making bank
>have a career, My Harley, and my life all together while my peers are finishing highschool
Do it. The government pays for everything.
>>729674602

>>729674761
Its there, all the personal info is in the blacked out draw boxes

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>>729673844
did you even fucking google how to make a resume. seriously dude wtf

>>729674994
this, I went as a heavy mech and heavy OP in sacramento

>>729674602
and you never thought to google a resume outline? jesus homeschooling did nothing but make you retarded. if you have any skills that youre exceptionally good at then expand on it. had you of been just a little more insightful you wouldve volunteered to build a resume. id also recommend that you go to /adv/ instead of taking your chances on /b/ but that aside? join the army man, it gives you a job an education and a fucking outlet. granted yeah its leg work atleast its an option and its FREE

>>729674994
hey that sounds like the best option in the thread so far. I didn't even know that the US had a program like that, that's a great government initiative. Do it OP!

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>>729674478
why not instead put a sign outside your house that says carwash today $5 special. you'll get paid way more doing that than by working for someone. go up to each persons driveway In your neighborhood, have a bucket of cleaning supplies and say hey I'll wash your car for $5. if you clean 10 cars that's $50 in one day, clean 25 cars thats $125 in a day.

>>729675110
oim going to help you beef up your resume

dont worry im not going to steal your identity, as there is nothing to steal, and I wont dox you

I went through the same thing at your age.

Get a yellow pages phone book, scroll through businesses marking ones you'd consider working with if they were hiring.

Then call them, and ask if they're hiring. You'll get some in person interviews.

That's how I got my summer job delivering pizza for Pizza Hut, lol.

>>729665615
If you've been looking for a job for months, and haven't been hired yet, you are either not trying at all, a social retard, or an actual retard. At least half of the places around me are hiring, and in my field, I hear every single other place (including mine) is short on help.

>>729674602
That's where the sell yourself comes in..

Hours willing to work? Anytime
Work well in team/ independently
Quick learner/willing to learn
Punctual
Multitasking
Polite/ courteous

Those kinds of things, and don't put hobbies/extracurricular as vids and 4 chan.

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>>729673844
dude you got the most generic, empty resume ever. Where I'm from you usually hand in a resume along with a personal letter, seems like you fused the two. Im stoned right now but hopefully my brain functions enough to write some advice

1. Your 'experiences' are written too seriously. Embrace the fact that you don't know anything. Admit it - be honest to yourself and to the potential employer. Just don't forget to add "However, I have done /this/ and /that/ and I am a fast learner that adapts easily to new situations, so I don't believe my lack of experience will be a major issue" or something in that style

2. Think about what your employer wants. Is it a restaurant? Write "I am good at quickly solving problems and love helping people. I believe each customer should get the optimal service, and it is my duty to ensure it" or some cheesy shit like that, the point is that the employer knows you thought about their needs. Is it a repair shop of some kind? Write "I have little experience but always been interested in cars and know a great deal [look some basic sh't up on wikipedia so you know something]. I am not afraid to get my hands dirty or work hard and am always ready to help and learn new things". You get the point.

3. Maintain a pleasant, optimistic and yet determined and 'sure' feeling throughout the text you write. Add a 'personal letter' under your skills header where you can lift the RELEVANT experiences.

Good luck.

>>729665615
If you're going to be thrown out in a week then you need to look into Job Corps immediately. They help youngsters like you get your shit together.

I wish I had done Job Corps when I was 18 and living on the streets. I would be a lot better off today than I am now at 26 years old.

>>729665615
>be you
>walk to nearest store
>find manager
>tell them that you are looking for a job and work experience
>begin working
>stop using 4chin
>have a happy life
go do that now anon, lets you join us and become another useless neet.

>>729673844
Lie nibba

Factory work. Start there. It'll suck but you'll make good money. I started doing that, then I got some certifications and now I work desktop support for the govt. It's not hard. Quit being a bitch.

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If you need a job immediately, do this, print out 15 resumes, go to a bunch of fast food joints during a time where the manager's around. Go to the counter, apply for job, manager says he's short on people, interviews you, you work the very next day. Done. Have fun working a shit job.

>>729675406
great advice dude. read this OP.

also holy shit captcha is pissing me off with the constant image identification shit

>>729675247
Lot of problems with that, running a buisness out of your house is usually illegal.

Also im sure ops mom wouldnt let him use their water for that.

>>729674800
Usually about 10-15 mins before they open. Don't sit and stare at phone, stand tall and be confident when boss shows up to open, say "good morning sir my name is ____ and I'm interested in a position with your company" then hand him resume. Repeat and they WILL hire you.

>>729675700
it's not really a business. you're cleaning cars.

>>729675223
I thought it was all too good to be true but literally all that was ever asked of me during my time there was to be on time, focus on my future and bettering myself, keep drug free and keep my dorm clean. Not many people know about it. They even have an inside joke that they're "educations best kept secret"
>>729675148
Kick ass! I thought about that but Albuquerque is known for its welding program so I decided on that.

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>>729675338
this

>>729665615
Roofing, it's physically very demanding and dangerous but it pays well enough and they always hire quickly.

>>729675896
I also forgot to mention that there is no catch. They just want to use you as a statistic when you get out to prove job corps works.

>>729675896
I weld on my free time. I am teaching myself rn how to weld aluminum

>>729675788
hand in the same resume every day? Or just shake his hand and jerk him off every day.

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>>729675597
thank you ^>^

>>729675788
that reminds me of an advertisement i once saw

>>729665615
>What are jobs that will hire anyone and fast?
Go work the fields with beaners.

>>729676070
That's going to bring your value up as an employee by miles. Aluminum sucks tho (at least the fumes do) stainless, aluminum and galvanized cause Alzheimer's 10/10 times. You wear a respirator?

Get your fucking ged. Then fill out your fafsa and go check out all the local community colleges and see which programs interest you,
>Fun fact: being young and homeless gets you more school money.

>>729676218
Same resume yup. The rest is details you, your new boss and your closet homosexuality can work that out.

>>729676429
no i dont

wait what were we talking about?
yes i do

>>729668786
step1:military
step2:diploma with military cash
step3:hookers
step4:profit

>>729665615
Look up for a temporary job in a company like Adecco or something like that, you give them your data, they look up for temporary offers and contact you so you can work asap. Source: My mother work in a company like that.

>>729676614
Kek. Be sure to wear your respirator. Those three metal types will give you Alzheimer's in the long run.

>>729676314
Read this. Laughed so hard I turned red.

Wife looked at me like I was crazy.

Laughing so hard while I try to explain to her why this is funny.

She shakes her head and leaves the room.

Still laughing.

Thank you for this post.

>>729675440
job corps is interesting. Do you HAVE to live with them? Seems odd. Really I just need a damn job.

>>729665615
What the fuck have you fucking done all 18 years? I imagine getting 20 WoW chars to level 110? What the fuck is this shitty ass education system anyways? In my country its legitimately impossible NOT to get any form of education

>>729668937
Army up, son.

Just DONT mention half this shit. Just say you are wanting to gain life experience and improve your skills

>>729676815
I know, I backsmithed in highschool
friends grandpa taught us how to make damascus... we actually just beat the shit out of red hot steel as his gramps just sat there

>>729665615

Go to a temp agency or a temp labor center, you show up, they give you work. Stop being a bitch.

>>729665927
This

I am in my mid 30s now, and I was in a similar situation when I was your age.

After numerous applications, I had a part time job at a grocery store.

After a while I got a second job as a bartender. After about a year, I enrolled university (Europe). Today I work as an assistant professor.

Just take whatever you can get, save money, become independent, and then specialize in any field that interests you. Educate yourself.

And get away from that horrible mother of yours.

>>729665615
Sell your body to some old guy

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>>729676917
That's freedom and democracy at work
That's murica!

>>729676832
Nigga, read my post.
>>729674994
^^^
>>729676832
You don't have to live with them but since you don't have transportation, what choice do you have? it ain't that bad. Besides, I loved being there. I was more anti social than you but all I can remember is walking in the field with my best friends and sneaking my girlfriend back to my dorm. They will actually pay you to do the program. 30$ bi weekly and 1000$ when you get out. Why the fuck anyone would go to college and owe someone money, I do not know.

>>729666701
Came in to say this lol

Be like an illegal..

Don't talk cause nobody understands or gives a fuck
Keep a low profile and work hard
Don't say shit about wages/union/benefits or vacation

You'll have a job in minutes

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>>729676917
>>729677251
It's little quips like this that keep me coming back to /b/

Go to the country and be a hired hand. No education required. Simple work. Trailer houses are cheap.

>>729677430
Fair enough, 2 questions, how long does it last? And will they pay for me to get there? I think the closest one to me is in LA which is like 9 hours away.

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>>729672832
>Come to see me OP, I live in a van
>I-in a van, anon-sempaï? A-are you sure?
>I'll give you some food and help you find a job
That's how OP died in horrific pain, live-streamed on facebook from anon's rape-van

have you tried doing it the old fashioned way? Make a resume with whatever work related stuff you can put there, then go to a business in person, ask for the manager and then ask for a job? I have never gotten a job from sending in an application, I do it the old fashioned way and I've always gotten a job relatively quickly whenever I had to.

You don't need internet to get a job, that's just an excuse to not have to get out of the house. Get off your lazy ass and go around town and ask for work. Heck, start mowing lawns and shit if you have to, it's better than nothing and might just be enough for mommy to let you stay.

>>729677747
whats that? a coin mining rig?

>>729677863
A shitty one, but yes looks like it.

>>729669872
Ahhhhhh.

Okay slightly changing my advice (I also suggested Army)

What you need to do is:

- find way to get income
- find place to live
- go to school

Are there any government grants or welfare you can get? I'm not American so I can't be certain about your system, but here is Aus I know you would almost certainly qualify for government welfare.

Now next, do you have any family? Any at all? Any old friends you haven't talked to in years but may be able to stay on their couch? Your mum sounds like a fuck wit, so if she is going to treat you like that she can go fuck herself. Focus on you.

If you are actually that young, you need to start getting an employable skill - any trade at all, or go back to school. If you can get an apprenticeship that would be amazing.

Also what state you in bro? Any anons able to give more local advice?

>>729677863
i think so. i'm confused by it though because i thought coins were best mined by GPUs, and those things don't look like that kind of card...

>>729665615
>>729665615
>>729665615
>>729665615
>>729665615
>>729665615
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Bix44C1EzY&list=PL7XlqX4npddfrdpMCxBnNZXg2GFll7t5y&index=41

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The hardest part about getting a job, is landing the first one. After that interviews and confidence in interviews will be a breeze.
>Be me 17
>Air Force turned me down because I was tubby
>Feelsbadman.jpg
>Dad saids I need a job asap
>Reluctantly agree
>Who hires people with no experience?
>Lived by a main road that ran through and out of the state
>Walked up and down asking everyone if they where hiring
>Even if they didn't have a sign posted
>Nervous at every encounter
>Eventually after 2 days of doing this
>Food Lion's HR guy walks up to me
>Asks what I want to do, or apply to
>I tell him, anything as long as I can get some work experience and a paycheck
>Said they were looking for grocery stockers
>Schedules an interview with the manager
>After 2 interviews they had me come in and I had a job
Morale of the story, it's scary anon but you have to do it. Every job I've had since then is a breeze because I now had work experience

>>729677739
>will they pay for me to get there
Yes. Contact them and they'll make arrangements for a bus (possibly greyhound) They bought plane tickets for two welders to come take the advanced class in Albuquerque.
>how long does it last
You work at your own pace and choose if you excel or fail. Don't let friends distract you, don't do drugs and actually try to succeed. I still remember the gangster wanna be's crying their eyes on the way out the door because they realized what an opportunity they'd lost over something as simple as weed. Typically, people stay there from 6 months- 2 years. Like I said, it depends on how bad you want it.

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>>729678100
nope, how fast your computer can handle numbers

he has a bunch of these
Bitmain Antminer S7 Batch 8, stable at 4.73TH/s

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I have to go for now. Shitty parent getting off of work in 30. Going to go to Blackbear cafe and beg these nibbas for a job. Thank you all for the advice.

In a week I will either post again, and update, thanking you. Or you'll see me in the news.

Wish me luck anons.

>>729678100
Fpga

>>729665615
Find a high turnover job, like something in telesales etc. They're always hiring.

>>729678275
This is true, once you get going it's easier. I too struggled to get a job after high school, I wasn't motivated at all and my confidence was non-existing.

Now I have a significant amount of experience on my resume and several references and my confidence is 1000% better than before. It's the same thing as dating I guess, confidence is key.

>>729678643
Good luck OP dont fail us

>>729670895
if this is true, rt i love you man. im gonna print this out an frame it

>>729678643
Be confident and optimistic, think "How lucky they are to have a chance to hire me."

>>729673844
This must be bait. I'm not joking man, this literally isn't even a resume. This is the worst attempt at a resume I have ever seen. Wtf are you doing? Google how to do a resume now. Jesus Christ.

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>>729677863
>>729677960
It's an old ASIC mining farm
>>729678100
Bitcoin's ASIC are running SHA 256 but the arm race for computing power is ridiculous. Most altcoins developped ASIC-resistant algorithms (I/O bound or "memory bound" like Dagger-Hasimoto)
GPUs are well suited for parallel processing and have a good amount of fast access memory.

>>729665615
serious question: have you considered selling yourself? I know it's not the most glorious job in the world but if you really have NO other options it's not that bad of an idea.

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>>729678705
>fgpa
Those are FGPAs

>>729670952
im thinking of volunteering before applying for uni this year (am 18). is this shit really like steroids in interviews?

didnt try graduating highschool or getting GED, go with the usual answer
>sell drugs

>>729673844
This is a horrible ass resume. what the fuck is with those fonts and colors?
OP did you even try? youre supposed to whore yourself out and make employers think you can shit rainbows

>>729674602
RESEARCH how to fucking make one. you dont need work experience to put on. just say something about being independent, flexibility, time management. for fuck's sake stop being a moron and try for once in your life

>>729665615
Have you ever heard of quantum immortality? Basically the idea is that in any situation where there is a non-zero chance of you surviving something (say, a gunshot), the universe will split in two, and you will go on living in the universe where you survive. Essentially, the idea states that you can't die unless there is a completely 100% chance of it.

>>729665771
Go in person and talk to a manager. You have to be respectful and literally take anything you can get.

>>729681634
ops gonna be a garbage boy

>>729665615

first off, get a fucking drivers license you fucking degenerate. then apply for a loan to purchase a decent car. deliver pizza. pizza places are literally ALWAYS hiring delivery drivers. you'll make probably close to around $10/hr after tips and wages. at least thats something best of luck friend

Just go for McDonald's. Honestly you need something. No shame in going small. You need to get started so you can continue to look.

>>729678643
nigga just persevere man

>>729665615
>>729673844
What the hell have you done in 18 years of your life??? Please explain this shit right now!

>>729674602
thats what all people do wrong
>i wrote 100 applications and no one responded
no wonder no one replies if your application looks like a joke. not even because its empty but the way it looks already.
in germany its common to have a (short) text about yourself, saying why you apply to that job and what your personal strengths are, that kinda shit + a resume of what you did before. what forms of schools you attended, where you worked before and so on. but what you got there doesnt seem professional at all, its messy and doesnt really show you from a good side.