>be me 14 yo >horny all the time >jack off to porn

>>729532998
Dude you got molested
That's curious

>>729532998

Got black out drunk and beat the shit out of my gf when I was 19. >>729532998

>>729533549
>>729533549
What she say.?
Had a friend do the same to a 9/10 girl

Why the fuck would you just randomly lie about somebody putting a carrot in your ass? There is no way that happened. I cannot think of any plausible thing she could do to pin you down and manage to get to your ass at the same time to where you couldn't do anything.

Laughed hard

Thanks!

>>729533978
i was a skinny bitch then

Fast food worker here. Prepared food with blood covered hands a few times. GF's Period blood. Because fuck you, that's why.

>>729533549
wow,it made me hard

i stole 224 pokemon cards to a friend when i was 6.
He never knew it was me

i also stole mdma with an exgf and put it in a bottle of vodka for everyone
party was lit

>>729534270
>>>
> Anonymous 04/17/17(Mon)17
people like you are why i dont eat fast food

>>729532998
>be me in school
>house party, everyone getting drunk quickly
>had a few beers but didn't want to get wasted
>kept on taking the beers coming my way, only had one sip and poured the rest down the drain.
>still haven't forgiven my self

>>729532998
pushed a deaf girl down some stairs once.

also stolen over a million in items over the years.

>Be me
>like to walk around at night because i dont like walking during the day because people try to talk to me
>got my hoodie up and knife on my hip
>Fed up with life in general
>Decide that I should take it out on some son of a bitch down the street because his dogs are always barking
>seriously fuck this guy
>Walk up to car
>slash tires
>Go home
>never heard anything so I think I am good

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>>729532998
>break up with girlfriend
>start facebook live streaming
>drum up a manifesto best I could
>killed this old dude who didn't know what was happening
>start a manhunt
>mfw

i stole a severed hand from the scene of a car wreck

>>729535676
do you still have it?

>>729534838
People like me are why you shouldn't fast food. I can't begin to tell you all the messed up stuff i've seen inside restaurants. Some fast food workers are and caring or w/e, but most of us want you to die the moment you walk through the door. Not all food places ae like that I guess, but I know it's the gamble I take when I buy the ticket.

Masturbated to Bea Arthur when my mom came in and caught me. I without flinching told her to come get some. She was disgusted but I finished like a champ.
She never looked at me the same way again.

>>729535676
That's not evil. That a fuck nice souvenir, and rare to.

>be me
>12
>stole a shit ton of items from a bar that was closed (only worked during summer) with 2 friends
>drank a lot of "almdudler" before i knew what it was
>FeelsGoodMan
>the bar had cameras
>nothing ever happened

>>729536013
i got paranoid and threw it away about a week later..

>>729536535
>>729536013
evil thing was that the hands owner was not dead..it could have probably been sewed back and saved

>be me
>first grade
>had a bathroom in our classroom
>I would piss on the walls every time I had to go
>thought of it as my personal toilet
>no one ever said anything about piss everywhere
>never get caught

I was a weird kid

Murder isnt evil if it is justified.

>>729537233
Agree IF the owner was still alive.
BUT that would make it an even cooler souvenir let's be honest.

>be about 12
>used to live with grandparents
>they had a 2 dogs, a poodle and a lab
>the poodle would sometimes shit and piss in the living room
>get idea
>piss on carpet one day
>they think the dog did it

>>729537645
i shoulda kept it huh?

>>729534270

Can confirm. When I was in my late teens I worked in a few resturuants. If you were a dick or an annoying customer, spitting in your food would be the least of your worries.

>put pepperoni slices in my sweaty butt checks before I put them on your pizza.
>jerk off in your soup if you really pissed me off
>toss your ceasar salad with my sweaty dick.
>use expired food that I was supposed to throw away.
>play hockey sack with the meatballs.

The list goes on. Fuck asshole customers.

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>>729537808
i used to pee in the vents of my parents room when i was about 8, also blamed the dog. I still have no idea why i did that

>>729537961
I would. Shit like that is super interesting to me.

Had a dude who considered me his best (and really only) friend. He had this ex that he was still completely obsessed with. They'd broken up 8 years prior, and he considered her his soulmate, he'd get drunk and cry about her all the time, she was basically all he talked about.

He asked me to try to talk to her on Facebook on his behalf, I figured it wouldn't work, but I'd give it a go. I wound up talking to her, we decided to meet up, and we fucked that night. Wound up fucking her for almost two years. I got head from her while I was on the phone with him once.

He never found out. Don't talk to him anymore, but if he did ever find out, he'd probably actually try to kill me.

>>729538155
Wouldn't your ass just feel shitty because of the pepperoni after a couple if hours? Why fuck yourself over like that?

>>729538212
When I was 6 I used a supersoaker to pee on my parents in the morning.
Will never regret it.

>>729538424

In the grand scheme of things it was worth it. I would just go to the bathroom and put some soap on some toilet paper and scrub my asshole for a 10 seconds.

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>>729537266
>my personal toilet
>piss on walls
are u dumb

i used to sell heroin and fentanyl. one time me and three guys ran into a guys house over a debt and fucked him up in front of his wife and 4 year old daughter. took their laptop and playstation etc. the kid pissed herself. the four of us split into pairs after we left, me and this guy went to an associates to do some coke, and his girlfriend comes back a couple of hours later crying about how her sister's husband just got the shit kicked out of him in front of her niece and how the kid is traumatized and won't talk to anyone. i laughed inside. i was kind of an asshole back in those days

Go fap there
https://nerdynaughtykitty.tumblr.com/

i once had a girlfriend who was into self harm. when we broke up she started stalking me and insisted that i left her because i was fucking my friend's girl, which wasn't true. she put it all over facebook that i gave her genital warts. so i sent her a close-up picture of a gash i made on my leg with a knife, so it looked like i'd cut my wrists. she sent back a picture of about 20 huge cuts all over her wrists and she took an overdose that night. when she woke up i got my friend's girlfriend to phone her and say that we actually were sleeping together the whole time, that my friend was cool with it and that she was pregnant but she didn't know who to, so we were both going to be the father lol

>>729537961
You should have pickled it and sent him it back months later

>>729539050

Kinda wierd she didn't recognize you.

>>729539671
did she died?

>>729534787
MDMA and Alcohol do not mix. I wish you and your friends died because you seem like a piece of shit.

>>729534787
>i also stole mdma with an exgf and put it in a bottle of vodka for everyone
>party was lit
kek'd

>>729539813
?? it was the wife's sister not the wife. learn to read.

>>729532998
When I was 14 I was staying at my freinds house for a few days in the summer. The first day I got there his cousin was also staying awhile, she was only 8 so I didn't expect to be around her much we were to old and cool for her. My friends seemed really excited but I couldn't tell about what. We play normally for awhile. Then his mom said her and his dad were going shopping for a few hours and would be back. They asked if they could leave his little cousin with us. He readily accepted which I didn't understand. After his parents left he looked at me and said this is going to be awesome. He rushed upstairs and I followed him. We find her playing in the spare room. He walks up to her and says" ok no ones here lets play the secret game you showed me last night" she smiles and says ok. He then says I want to play to. She smiled more and said ok. To my complete shock he unzipped his jeans and pulled out his dick. His little cousin reached right for it and grabbed it and put it in her mouth. I watched her suck him off and swallow his cum. After he was done he told me it was ok and to go for it. So I did. She walked right up to my exposed dick and sucked it into her mouth. I was soft cuz I was scared shitless(was my first contact sexually with another person) but she quickly changed that. After only a minute or so I felt a strong pulse start in my dick and then felt my balls drain into her mouth. The feeling was way better than when I jacked it. I'm still in a little shock. My friend tells me she showed him this game last night. They call it the secret game and grown ups aren't allowed to know. She then pulled off her panties and pointed at me and giggled. My freinds told me that meant she wanted me to play with her. We got on the floor and I licked her little pussy. We played this game mostly at night for the next three days. I dropped atleast six loads into her mouth in that time.

>>729540091
nah we're actually pretty cool nowadays, we fucked not too long ago

>>729540176
People drink while rolling all the time.

>>729540176
They mix well besides the dehydration

>>729538155
Once I became a hiring manager, I would have all my employees watch the movie "waiting". lol, good times.

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>be me
>be 11 or so
>friend showing off Pokemon cards
>shiny hitmonlee
>jealous as fuck
>leaves his cards in desk
>he goes to washroom
>steal hitmonlee
>realized it was gone at recess
He still doesn't know to this day. I see him regularly as well.

>>729536383
>Come get some

Kek

Visited a nursing home that doubled work with people with mental disabilities. Was there to meet a friend. Passed by woman who was a near vegetable, but her shirt was open and her saggy boobs were barely visible. Looked around, closed door. Fapped right on her chest and walked out without anybody knowing it was me.
On the way out I heard screaming by an orderly and I high tailed it out.

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I didn't vote in the last election

>>729541209
feisty

>>729540379
So after all these years, what cam out of that? they still fucking or what?

>>729540379
Is wrong but arousing.

>>729534997
you seem like a little bitch

there was this girl who lived at the bottom of a block of flats, she was fuckable and i was wasted but we'd never spoken before. so i took a shit on her doorstep and then knocked on her door, when she answered i told her some arsehole had taken a huge dump outside her flat and she should watch her step if she's going anywhere. i played it like i was appalled that someone would do a thing like that to a pretty girl like her. i got her number and then went to a flat upstairs for a couple of hours while we exchanged text messages and she cleaned up my turd. then i came downstairs and fucked her. she wanted me to stay over, but i made my excuses and left. then later that night i came back downstairs and pissed through her letterbox. haven't seen or spoken to her since, i sometimes wonder if she figured out that it was me, or if she knew all along

>>729542172
Is okay but arousing.

>>729532998
I stole candy from a store by accident when I was 4 or 5.

>>729542172
well nothing turns a girl on more than your shit lingering in her nostrils

>be about 17
>move to a different city
>first day there meet this really shy dude about the same age
>become friends
>he shows me his other friends all rather cool dudes and gals
>apparently one of the girls is his gf
>for some reason i REALLY wanted this girl she wasn't even that good looking 6.8/10
>come up with genius idea going to make him seem like he's the biggest fucker ever
>a proxy and a couple cp pics on his phone later and I am set
>show the pics on his phone to friends and 6.8/10
>they believed it completely his gf dumps him and all his former friends hate his guts
> he stopped coming to school at some point and I hook up with the 6.8/10
>apparently he now got death threats
>he comits suicide after about 2 weeks after I hook up with the 6.8/10
>somehow get this girl to agree to have sex on his grave
>hardest I'd ever come in my life was on his grave
>even now everyone still thinks he was a pedophile

went to his grave not that long ago just for the heck of it it looked like shit so his family probably believed the lie as well

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>>729542439
one of my earliest memories is of me grabbing a pack of gun and running as obvious as possible (i was a pretty chubby kid so i was hard not to notice) out of the grocery store, into the parking lot. my mom saw me do it so she chased me and made me take it back in. the manager tried not to laugh at me.

>>729543083
Is that the chocolate river, from Willy Wonka?

>>729542915
kek

>>729543259
>Not knowing of the mythical caramel river.

>>729532998
Probably created the universe.

>>729543451
you asshole

my ISP kept fucking me over, so i made a sign explaining how they fucked me over and placed it on my lawn

it was gone (stolen) the next day

so i picked up some syringes i found on the ground at a local methadone clinic and lined the grabbable parts of the sign with them

it was gone again the next day but my ISP finally called me back

I once heated a cup of tea in the microwave. Milky tea too!

Over $500,000 in retail theft

>>729542675
man-shit is packed full of nutrients and pheromones

>>729533549
You should kill yourself.

>>729537808
You have no idea how much I've done this

>Be 9ish
>Break into own school
>Need to take a dump
>Enter toilets
>Decided to shit next to the toilet because of severe autism
>Scalding.mov
>2 days later school opens
>"Someone took a dump next to the toilet"
Nobody ever knew it was me

>>729542915
that was awesome

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I dumped several barrels of hydraulic oil inn to the ocean.

>>729542915
/Thread

>be me
>sign up Club penguin without parents permission

I doubt this is the most evil thing I've done, but I just can't remember what worse I've done than this.
>13
>Out biking with two friends deep in the woods
>I'll call these friends S and D
>Me and S are taking turns carrying tree climbing equipment
>When we told D it was his turn, he told us fuck no
>Me and D were already on poor terms; he had stolen shit from me, was acting awfully pissy
>D was jealous because his family didn't like him very much, whereas me and S were quite liked by our families
>D was acting oh so important and superior to me and S, to the point where we stopped caring at all about him. We were done being treated like shit
>I dump some rope in the back tire of his bike, it becomes deeply tangled in seconds
>He tumbles into the mud, and the handlebars of his bike smash into his balls
>After a moment, he gets up and goes on a verbal tirade about how mad he is
>While he's flipping shit about his bike, S signals to me that It's time to go
>Drop the equipment and haul ass out of there
>It was getting dark, and was a bad area. He was also a beta fuck who couldn't protect his body for shit from sexual abuse (don't ask me how I know that)
>We left him with the climbing equipment for three people and a disabled bike. We knew he was screwed, but didn't care
>We could hear him screaming "WHAT THE FUCK, GUYS?!" from as far as a kilometer away
>We continued on until we were near our homes, where S told me he would retrieve the equipment tomorrow, and parted ways
>The next way, S came by, returned my rope, and told me his experience talking to D after
>It took D over an hour past dark to haul his pathetic ass and the equipment out
>We joked about it, and decided then and there that D could not accompany us in the future
>I only saw D once later, at school lunch alone and looking sad
>After that year, I never saw him again (I went to a different school later)
I'm not in contact with anyone from then, so I don't know what happened to him.
He deserved it, though.

>>729544397
/Thread

>>729541773
I used to hook up with her for awhile but lost contact with them both when I was in my twenties. I had moved to a new state and just lost contact with them( this was well before social media). It's been so long now I wonder what she looks like. As far as them hooking up I have no idea. We only did this together that one time every time I did stuff with her after that we were alone and she was a little older.

>be me
>be fat 12 year old
>eat everything in house

I once catfished someone and told them that I was lying to them after about 3 months, tell me if u want more info

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>>729543349
i know right... what an idiot.
>>729543259 < new fag.

>>729544059
Spotted the cuck who doesn't know how to handle his womenz.

>>729533978
Learn to spell nigger
> There is no way that happened. I cannot think of any plausible thing she
There is no way that happened. I carrot think of any plausible thing she*

Fixed it for you, try harder next time.

>>729535676
Ever masturbate with it?
> This is my OLD 4chan back again!

>>729537289
Wrong, all murder is the circle of life. Evil was created by man to label things.

>>729544317
That's nothing. I dump pounds of longpig into the ocean. My eyes are way bigger than my stomach and my freezer is only so big. All that wasted meat.

>>729533978
She probably just threatened to tell if he didn't bend over.
Also ive a girl want to put things up my butt. It's super common.

Am I a bad person /b/?
>Went on holiday with a good friend travelling in Asia
>Friend has autism or some shit
>Organised all hotels so I could lie about how much they cost and rip him off
>Always made sure that he overpaid and I underpaid when splitting the bill at restaurants
>Straight up stole over $100 from his wallet in his sleep over the month we were away and told him he was probably pickpocketed

>be me 4
>round some girls house
>parents give us a biscuit
>convince girl that dog shit is chocolate
>she buys it
>dunks it and eats it

mother likes to bring this up to remind me how evil of a child I was.

>>729540686
thanks, gonna watch it now

>>729544531
all that greentext, for nothing

>>729547984
>friend

>rip him off
>he overpaid and I underpaid
>stole over $100 from his wallet

i don't think you know what friendship means, pal

i swung the neighbours cat by its tail over my head and threw it into a pebble-dashed wall

>>729548697
What do you mean by "nothing"?

>>729548837
Well he's a friend in every other sense, I just use him as an unknowing piggy bank when necessary

I had consensual sex in missionary position for the sole purpose of procreating.

>>729549278
You monster!

>>729549054
you still don't get it. are you of arab or mexican or black or gypsy decent?

you should know that we accept only white people in here

>>729548837
friendship in the black community / 10

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>>729549887
I'm none of these things, just a (((white guy)))

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>be me
>hang out with three friends all the time while in high school
>one of these friends is your everyday rich kid who gets gibz from his dad to buy drugs
>he would always buy a shit ton of pot for us to party in his pool house
>literally got high in a pool house with friends every weekend for two years
>shit=cash
>over time rich friend becomes asshole
>goes on rants about how he's a gangster and sells the best weed in town
>this dude buys it from his gay older brother and sells it by the gram
>he eventually starts shit with smartass friend for being smartass and making fun of him for thinking he's some badass
>starts trying to charge other friend for smoking with us
>i'm the clown and pretended to believe everything he told me so I can keep partying
>one day he decides to let other friends come over but wont let them smoke
>they come up to me while rich friend is taking a shit
>"hey anon, we're gonna rob (rich friend). You in?"
>uhyeahsurewhatever
>one of them convinces rich friend to leave with him
>other one stays and we take all of his drugs and he goes home
>eventually, rich friend comes back and screams "I got fucking mugged!"
>WHAT?
>mfw smartass friend hired a nigger to mug them and they split the money
>mfw rich friend cried when I explained how a nigger broke in and robbed him while other friend ran away
>mfw we did it again but he caught us the second time

>>729549043
it was a shit story

>>729543083
That ain't chocolate

>14 years old me
>Horny all the time because of puberty
>One day family comes over
>They have 2 girls one is 10 year old other is 8 years old
>Because there is nothing to do so we go play outside
>Eventually everyone is tired and we go back home
>It was pretty late and family decided they are gonna stay over
>Because we don't have many rooms available both girls sleep in the same room I sleep

Cont.?

>>729551002
>>729551002
Yea continue whatever but dont make shit short posts like that you could write triple what u just wrote

>>729532998
Like I don't do many evil things but most of the time I observe people until I know their weak
spot and then I feel more badass
but anyways here the most evil thing I've ever done

>be me around 13 yo
>go on a school trip with way too many 13 yo faggots
>around 80 13yo faggots walking in groups through a big city
>I buy condoms to impress other classmates
>wow anon you're so badass
>feelsgood.jpg
>think of something more savage than buying condoms
>lurk around at crowded place with the other 13 yo fags
>see turkish homeless man sitting there and begging for money
>remember that my pockets are full of coin money
>oh shit
>fuck yeah
>best idea ever
>they are going to love me for this one
>slowly walk toward the begging faggot
>grab hand full of coins (which were worth nothing btw)
>everybody looks at me
>oh shit
>SO MUCH TENSION GOING ON
>oh shit ok you can do this anon
>YOU CAN DO THIS
>I AM DOING IT HOLY SHIT
>THROW FULL HAND OF HARD COIN MONEY AS HARD AS I CAN AT HIS FACE
>CLASSMATES SCREAM
>EVERYBODY LOOKS AT ME AND THE HOMELESS MAN
>SCREAMS TURN INTO SILENCE
>everybody looks at me
>WHATDOOHSHITOHNO.jpg
>homeless man first touches his face then crawls on the floor collecting the coins
>never seen someone that sad
>I run away and wait until we drive back to our school
>lost money and hurt a man
>never felt sorry about it

>>729551002
>>729551002
>>729551002
in fact nah you're a nonce so just kys instead of posting

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>>729542915
if I wouldn't have a friend who also had sex on a grave, I'd say bait, but that's not the case

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>>729537080
lame ass shoulda fapped with it

>>729551580
moar

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>be 8 or something
>cousin's 11th birthday
>he had one of those shitty airsoft guns that you have to hand-cock after each shot
>take turns shooting random things out of his bedroom's window
>my turn
>an elderly amputee neighbor slowly walks by
>aim at him and shoot
>hit him right in the arm stump
>he flails his arms wildly when it hits him
>we quickly duck as he starts looking around
>giggle like retards

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Killed two puppies with a friend when we were 11, with sticks and rocks. They were some random pups left at a dump. Tried to stab the third one but it got away. Felt pretty bad and haunted by my deeds for quite a while thereafter, and this was the culmination and end of my history of abusing animals as a kid. Mostly used to take out my anger on smaller things like lizards and mice until that point, but this was definitely over the top and woke me up so I stopped.
The friend literally gave no fucks tho, and he even told his mom and dad about it and they couldn't care less. Years later I realized by home wasn't all that bad in comparison.

>>729540794
Too far anon, too far

Tortured my mum and dads dog

>>729551995
Da fuq?

>>729551995
Did you cum?

>>729543083
>a pack of gun

>>729551002
I'm tired if no one was interested was going to stop

>There is one bed and one mattress on the ground
>Both girls wanted to sleep on the mattress
>I'm older so I get to make the decision
>Choose to sleep on mattress
>I always thought sleeping on ground was fun
>Both girls supposed to sleep on bed
>Night comes
>Nobody of course fucking sleeps because same room
>Eventually the little 8yo sleeps
>I was tired so I also tried sleeping
>I slept the lasting thing I remember before I slept was 10yo still awake
>Having a nice wet dream
>Wake up in middle of night I guess it was around 4-5 am
>See 10yo sleeping right next to me
>She's got her leg and arm on me and is very close
>Fucking dream also got me horny
>But because of the pussy virgin I am I don't dare to move

>>729553354
Dont make me hard in front of my parents u bitch,

Continue...

>>729553354
Moar.

>>729553354
just write the whole fucking story of get the fuck out, you fucking faggot

>>729553354
MOAR

>>729545693
Greentext that boss.

>>729553589
>>729553753
>>729554258

there's no more, it ends there

took advantage of a divorced white mom in my apt building, she was always borrowing 20 bucks here and there, for groceries knew she wasn't gonna pay back so had her blow me and fuck me

I paid for an HIV + girl to fuck an asshole just for revenge

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>>729554536
is this an actual business

threw a piss bottle into a cancer patients garden because he took my ball

>>729542915

Believed you till the sex on the grave, noone does that shit.

>>729554536
Thats's genius

slept in a bed with my best mates sister and she started rubbing her ass on my dick and I fucked her and he still dont know, this was last year

>>729544059
madboys

>>729542915
if your being serious dude your fucked up

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>>729532998
this was like 7 years ago
>me 17
>way more mature then, people around me
>talk to myself alot, and basically act like a psycho
>still in school
>most teachers act like cunts but I can live with their little emberassing games and meanness
>but one of them is way over the limit
>one day had enough, must do somthing about it
>act nice for months, no sarcasm nothing
>not even telling friends that I hate her so theres no chance I might get in trouble
>knew her adress because there was a class party at her place some months ago
>go there one night at 3 am
>pour gasoline on her car, light it up, burn it the fuck down
>I was really cautious so she wouldnt tell the police I mightve done it, even had menaged to get alibi without being suspecious to my friends

did I regret it? no, I'd do it agian
she quit as a teacher from our school, she had no idea it was me

>>729553354

>I stay still for like 5 minutes
>I try moving her hand very slowly
>Making sure she doesn't wake up
>I managed to pick her hand and moved it away then let go
>No resistance at all
>Can't decide if I should move leg also
>All the while this is happening my dick is raging and wants something to touch it
>I stay still for another 5 minutes because if I move leg she might wake up
>My dick is itching so fucking bad
>I start moving around my hips
>Think about something
>I'm the only one awake both girls are sound asleep
>Virgin thinking this might be my chance
>Like a retard I try sliding closer to 10yo
>I make small steps each time
>After a while I can feel it
>Her leg now touches my dick through my pyjamas
>I try moving my hips because dick is sliding across her leg
>Feels like fucking heaven never felt so good
>The amount of precum soaked my underwear and pyjamas
>It feels so good about to cum
>Don't care anymore just cum
>Cum all of it in my pants
>Stay there thinking wtf happened
>Dick still haven't enough
>Round 2 starts

>>729538155

Nah mate fuck you you fucking cunt. You sound like 12 years old, can't handle people talking to you like shit so you hide away behind your desk and rub your asshole with pepperoni lol what a fucking faggot

>>729555000
consider yourself checked

>>729540794
Hitmonlee was my favorite Pokémon, so I probably would have done the same

>>729546957
yup and he's still talking about the label being valid if the murder is justified so...whats your point

>>729546125
>Learn to spell nigger
N-i-g-g-e-r

Learn to punctuate, faggot.

>Be me
>In Reno, NV
>Want to watch someone die
>See some guy
>Shoot him

>>729555357
Hide away? More like get even. Not a hard concept.. don't fuck with ppl that make your food.

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>be me, summer intern
>hired for experience at this software shop
>douche salesman named Marty treats interns like personal slaves
>never lets me do my job
>sends me out to run his errands
>pick up his dry cleaning
>fetch his lunch
>clean dirty laser printers
>angry because i'm not developing software at all
>decide Marty's got to go
>call boss on Marty's day off, ask for Marty
>not here, says boss
>say "This is Marty's AA sponsor, he's been missing meetings. Please have him call me back ASAP."
>boss quietly agrees, hangs up quickly.
>stop by bar after closing
>dumpster dive
>put an empty bottle of booze in Marty's wastebasket at the end of the day
>repeat for the rest of the summer
>go back to school in September
>situation critical a month later
>boss tells Marty's wife about the drinking at work
>wife confronts Marty, ends with fight and arrest
>Marty spends a few days in jail
>boss fires him

Plan worked, but not in time before the semester started..

I peed on a cat and on chicken.

I put pineapple on pizza

>>729556118
W H Y

>>729537266
I have a bathroom in college and I do the same thing.
I also am a weird kid

>Started dating a really nice girl
>one night after dinner we were spooning and I was trying to get her in the mood.
>her phone starts ringing like crazy and it's her mom and it turns out her mother is majorly abusive.
>after the call she's crying in my arms about her relationship with her mom
> during her sobbing mentions she believes in celibacy
> pretty much didn't hear anything after that point
> eventually she feels a bit better, walk her to the door, say goodnight
> Ghost her later that week, never talk again

>>729556223
You monster.

>>729542915
10/10 you are Satan confirmed

I piss in the hand sinks at work. Got caught once. Awkward.

>>729555899

You sound so fucking gay dude Omg absolute faggot

>>729542915
Man anon that's fucking messed up
I believe it

>Be me >
> poor family at the time, very very little money
> mom wanted to treat me so gave me money to get ice cream from ice cream van
> had no change so gave me the only money she had which was a £10 note
> tells me to specifially only buy one for me and not my fag friends
> go out, buy 7 of my friends ice creams, she watches through the living room window and cries

At the time I didnt see the problem, looking back I feel guilty, spent her only money she ahd at the time on ice cream for my gay mates

>>729542915
Sounds like something I would do

>>729555918
Im proud, anon

I pushed a drunk woman in the street of New Orleans because she wouldn't stop bothering me. She got hit by a car I keep walking.

Selling opium and heroin to parents taking these children last food money for their fix while I have kids if my own. I'm out of the game but it is what it is.

>>729555311
keep going faggot

>>729544531
I gota ask you how you knew that.

Greentexttahtshitmahnigga

>>729546359
This is what I wanted to know

>>729535154
You sound like a punk ass bitch why don't you just confront him

>>729556239
It was arousing to me to think it would be scattered around autonomously by an animal. I've been like 13 back then.

>planting fake cheating evidence to get a girl to break up with her boyf

>same girl is now gf

>>729555311

>Move back a little
>Feel inside pants
>I got so much cum in my pants oh well fuck it
>Felt too good
>Not even 2 minutes later get another raging boner
>This time I want some more
>Of course can't figure out anything because don't know what to do
>Move back a little closer accidentally hit her small 10yo hand
>Risky idea comes up
>Pull pants slowly down the cum just dripping
>Slowly pick her hand and move it to my dick
>Got her hand on my dick
>I got an even harder boner then before
>I'm holding her hand very lightly while I move slowly with my hips
>Everytime her small hands get covered in more cum
>Eventually it my dick just slides easily
>Try to get her hand wrapped around my dick
>Hard as fuck to do
>Get a finger around it
>My heart stops for a second because she moved
>Gets her hand tight around my dick like she wants to hold onto something
>Her whole hand is cum
>Because she held it tight when moving almost cum
>My dick is twitching like it's cumming
>Feels like half cumming
>Slide 1 time cum again
>All of it in her small hands
>I now think I fucked up
>She got my cum all over her hands
>What the fuck do I do
>Round 3 starts

when I was 17 I started having sex with my best friends little brother. I was in an emotionally vulnerable place my last boyfriend dumped me when we thought I was pregnant. Turns out I wasn't but it was deeply emotionally draining. I was staying at her house as I had a million times but this time I couldn't take my eyes off her brother. She actually noticed and made fun of me. I told her he was cute and in good shape and she just said gross. Everyone had fallen asleep, but I couldn't do I went down stairs and her brother was playing xbox in the living room still. I was vulnerable and horny so I jumped in front of him so he couldn't see. He complained at first then I pulled up my shirt. He stopped complaining. I flirted around like this for awhile but I got to worked up. I stradeld him and kissed him which kept leading to more and more until I had his dick out and inside me. It wasn't until he was fully inside did I think about what I was doing. But I figured it would be mean to stop now so I continued. I rode him for maybe three minutes and I could feel him coming inside me. He clamped his arms around me and told me he loved me it was so cute. I knew I had done wrong but it felt right. He was sweet and nice and I was in control so... I kept seeing him. I'd pick him up from school since I drove and take him home but we would often stop for "snacks" which was just time alone together. Eventually my friend caught us and made a big deal out of it. She told me how gross I was how young he was if I got pregnant it was my fault. After she was done exoding we talked it out and she understood my feelings but said she disapproved and wanted us to stop. We tried to but we couldn't. And I did get pregnant. im still married to her little brother but we aren't freinds anymore. She actually hates me and is that bitch sister in law stereotype. I feel bad for hurting her but it's not about her.

>>729557465

Thats alpha not evil

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>>729557467

>>729557467
if this dont end in her waking up and you fucking her then die

>>729557766
How old was the little bro first?

Any time I stay in a hotel room I cum EVERYWHERE. Like, if you can name a part of a hotel room, I've cum on it.

>>729557867
Nah dude. Thats just a dick move. Alpha is getting the girl the normal way, you're just a pussy.

>>729558293
The ceiling?

>>729558293
The Bible in the nightstand drawer?

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>>729535676
>>729546359
Hmm, why does this sound familiar?

>>729558428

Actually yeah, once.

>>729558441

Of course, that's a given.

>>729535418
Underrated Post

>>729532998
Killed a hedgehog once, with a wooden stick. Felt guilty afterwards and ever since. The sanic theme haunts me for this reason

>be me, dating a single mom
>gf's son is a pain in the ass
>8 years old, ADHD retard
>won't leave her alone at night, seriously impacting my screw time
>she takes a night class, asks if i can babysit her brat
>i agree, cuz sex
>plus, the kid is on new meds that knock him out at night
>after kid goes to bed, a couple of friends come over
>we get pretty lit, decide to fart on kid's head
>because we're wasted, farts are raunchy and maybe more than a little wet
>lose interest, start watching TV
>gf freaks out in morning, wondering how the son shit on his own face.

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use to tourture small animals as a child
im doing much better now thanks for asking

>>729549278
dude. wtf

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>>729558848
This one got me gud.

>>729555000
Double trips checkered!

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>>729558453

>>729557766
You know the rules, tits or GTFO!

>>729555000
Holy shit dem double trips

>>729536547
Haha, thought you were drunk on soda? Great.

>>729557467

>I try to figure out what to do with the cum
>I can't think of any fucking shit to do
>Stay there still for 15 minutes and thinking
>She starts moving
>Gets her leg away from and turns around
>She just moved her hand full of cum to itch on her cheek
>She got my fucking cum on her face
>I thought I might as well kill myself because it's over now
>Since she isn't on me anymore I move slowly away from the bed
>Go very fucking slowly to bathroom to clean around dick and underwear
>Everything still wet
>Go back to room
>See that she has turned around
>Somehow got lots of my cum around upper part of her lips
>Not even a little like a lot of cum
>I can see my cum going across her face just sliding down
>See a little go in her mouth
>My dick rock solid
>But decide I should stop
>Go to her and try to remove some cum
>Because I got horny again I thought it would be real hot putting all the cum in her mouth
>I try to decide if I should go for it
>I go for it because I'm fucked either way
>Too much evidence to clear
>Get a little cum in her mouth
>I only think about that my cum is going inside her mouth
>I add more and more until most of cum on her face is now in her mouth
>Her hand still full of cum so I should get that too right
>I try to open her hand a little
>See all the cum
>Right when I'm about to pick all the cum from her hands
>She got something uncomfortable in her mouth
> First thing she does is swallow
>I just got my cousin of 10yo to swallow my cum
>I feel my dick going numb
>Round 4 starts

>>729558208
He was 13

In bed with an ex and we had been out drinking. Couldn't be bothered to go to bathroom for a piss
so stuck my dick in her butt and went, then woke her up and told her she needed the toilet
As she was running to the bathroom it was running down her leg andshe was too drunk to understand why she couldn't hold it in

>>729532998
>befriended a much bigger dude
>sold him drugs and ripped him off
>would invite him to smoke so that i gained his trust
>took his girlfriend
>almost stabbed him when he came to look for her
>

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>>729560346

>>729547259
Start eating smaller people then dummy.

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>>729560346

>>729560198
Wew lass

>>729560198
Heh, that's interesting

Used to live across the street from some crazy bitch. She would always yell at people from her screened off porch, mostly just ignored her dumbass.
Then one day my sis saw her attack my cat with a broom so i yelled a bunch of mean shit at her. Later that night drinking with bros she start's her usuall shit. And i go to town on her yelling all sorts of mean shit.
Wake up the next day to cops almbulance and fire trucks.
She drank bleach or something and tried to burn the house down now she is in the nutty house.
Yeah i am going to hell anyone comming with?

>>729547984
You fucking degenerate

>>729532998
I manipulated my ex into getting an abortion, while she was having the procedure, I left the clinic and cleaned my things out of the apartment and moved in with her best friend.

>>729561347
See you there faggot

>>729556886
You're garbage

>>729547984
lol dumb idiot

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>>729560168
Type faster damn it

>>729551905
Damn nigga take your negative energy out on something else go to the gym or some shit

>>729547984
jew /10

>>729561001
I know I know. But we have four kids and are married. He's his own man he definitely controls the bedroom now.

>>729555305
This is either really good bait or a cringey tween trying to be cool

I was molested aged 8 and for a couple years after I thought it was okay to molest my 3 years younger brother. I'm 19 now, he's 15 and we haven't sat down and talked about it.

>>729560168
We're nearing the end

>I remove my pyjamas and my underwear
>Go back next to her on the mattress
>I slowly get her hand around my dick again
>Around dick lots of cum
>Get some of the cumin her hand on top of my dick
>Move slowly above her head
>Slide all the cum from my dick in her mouth
>Her 10yo lips covered in cum
>I can't help myself
>Move dick to her mouth and just slides it across
>I just slide it across her face
>Get my dick a little bit in mouth
>She gets uncomfortable so she swallows everything in her mouth
>I move my dick a little deeper in her mouth untill I feel her small tongue
>Cum again but it's all watery like
>Feels so good I move a little bit further down while cumming
>I guess I shoved my dick so far
>360 degrees my dick covered in her mouth
>Guess I went to deep whole cumming
>Because she coughs
>I quickly move away
>She wakes up and looks around a little bit
>She sees me fucking naked
>She coughs more and almost throws up
>She half throws up some of my cum and holds it in her hands
>Asks me what happened
>Round 5 starts

>>729555754
Johnny Cash much

>>729562308
Fuck off with this storytime bullshit.

>>729537645
Should have found the amputee, left it on his/her doorstep, rang the doorbell and run like hell.

>be me
>be 16
>have to take supplementary classes with a tutor at home
>parents arent usually home
>one day she asks if she can have a glass of water
>surewhynot
>standing at refrigerator waiting for glass to fill up
>have a brilliant idea
>whip out dick
>cover the entire rim of glass with saliva
>circle dick around entire rim too
>dip balls into water then shove my dick in there too
>go to the room we were in before
>thanks anon
>no problem
>she takes a huge gulp
>get an instant hard on
>watch as she drinks the entire glass filled with my smegma particles and ball grease
>got an inderict kiss and blowjob on the same day

>>729562308
Post progression:
1: maybe
2: hmmm, doubtful
3: nope
4: lame
5 :thread ends not a moment too soon.

>>729562506
>smegma particles and ball grease
kek

>>729538316
Fuck you.

>>729532998
Be me, single and mid-30's. Horn-dog, but also workaholic, so spend too much of my down time to tired to do anything but spank it to porn. No social life. Co. hired an assistant/receptionist. She is early 20's. Notices I am there before anyone and stay after anyone. She flirts after work. Then one day just goes for it. On her knees sucking me dry and doing a "little girl" role play for me. Few sessions like that and she invites me to come home for dinner. I'm ok with it. Show up expecting quick meal and hard fucking. she had a kid she had not disclosed. We all eat, hang out, then send her to bed. Kid not out of room hardly and girl sucking me.. doing little girl act and asking of I like my little girl. Never been pedo, but all hot. Several dinners like this. Then she starts talking that shit every time we fuck, asking if I want her little girl. Never goes further than huge orgasms for both of us. Then one night we fuck, but she holds me back. Drags me into kids room. Sleeping out cold. Girl jacks me in kids room, then flips back sheets carefully. Kid nude and sweet. Blow huge load on her. Sheets back up, mom furiously masturbates when we get back to living room. Several times like this and sometimes she cums and takes me in, others the opposite. She starts aiming my spurts right at virgin pussy. Later begs me to fuck her kid, she wants to move in, daughter thrown into deal. I see long term trap, eventual bad outcome (like not in deep already, kid never awake tho) Broke clean from her and left job, changed apartments and started using middle name. Never caught. Hope she found her fool, was almost me.

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>>729560168

>>729540176
>This again

>>729562937
Smart man

>>729550796
Abraham?

>>729549278
I just barfed

>>729562237
I know i would have been in 7th heaven if a 17 yo girl had fucked me when i was 13.

>>729539746
Wtf lol

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>>729562308
This better be good

>>729535418
too soon Steve, too soon

>>729549278
This is just fucking awful. What kind of Satanic Cult are you a part of?

>>729544147
>"Someone took a dump next to the toilet"
Holy shit, fucking kek

I left it in the woods around 2 years ago, no one else knows, I visit from time to time so we can be close for a while

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>>729549278
That's fucking disturbing.

>>729563868
What

dating a girl who has a kid
only reason i stay os because her mom is rich and when she die BOOM we legit get 1m mom has cancer
i hate kid and will make sure she has an accident

> Be me, 16 working at movie theater box office
> shitty job, shitty pay, but some ok perks (pre screenings, free movies, cute girls that work there)
> Pokemon movie coming out, promotional cards arrive, each person who asks gets 1 pokemon ccg card, its random and sealed
> I Steal half the boxes without getting caught by the cameras, and we run out before the end of the first few showings of day 1
> lots of sad kids but idgaf.
> sold them all at the local card shop where I played swccg/mtg.

>>729564016
the severed hand, he forgot to reply

>>729564142
Ahhhhh. Dig that shit up. Pics or it didn't happen

>>729563590
Oh he was. His friends were totally jealous.

>>729535083
Was she hot?

>>729549278
MODS!!! This shit should be banned. What kind of sick bastard are you? What's next door you turn off the light?

>>729556600
triple dubs

>>729557766
Great story but learn to >greentext.

>Also Tits or gtfo

>>729564093
Are you me? 'Cuz I did literally the same thing at the same age

>>729562308

>Tell her I'm sorry
>She doesn't understand why I'm saying sorry
>Almost going to cry because I think she thought she was sick
>I tell her not to cry say it's normal because I did it
>Wtf am I going to say
>Tell her to wait a little
>I put on my underwear and pyjamas
>Tell her we should go clean her face
>Since she threw up
>Go to bathroom together
>Tell her to be really quiet because we don't want to wake anyone up
>Asks why
>I say because it's normal
>I Clean her face and arms
>She drinks some tap water
>Calms down a little
>Try to tell her its normal for this to happen
>I don't know how many times I told her
>She says okay I understand
>I can't believe that I managed to get it this far
>We go back to my room
>She just sits quietly and I sit next to her
>We whisper to each other since we don't want to wake anyone up
>Tell her what I did
>That it's normal for boys and girls to do
>Do this for like 30 minutes
>Tell her that it should be kept a secret from everyone
>She agrees since she thinks it's embarrassing because she threw up
>We try to sleep again
>She whispers a few things I don't remember what she said
>I went to sleep
>Wake up
>Everyone in family is awake
>Including the 10yo
>I know what I did but the question is was I fucked
>Does the family know what I did
>Nothing had changed
>Just the usual good morning shit
>She hadn't told anyone yet
>She even got closer to me since I helped her when she was in that state
I skipped out quite a lot of details in this one but I'm going to sleep now
I was scared for a lot of years that our secret would be known
But since then everything went it's normal way
A few years ago the little 8yo who is now 18 told me she knew a secret. Didn't tell me what it was. I believed it could be this.

My best homie and I are straight edge as fuck and we hate druggies to the max. Last summer we beat the shit outta a particular druggie homeless nigger who always fucks with underage girls basically being a creeper and harassing them at hardcore and metal shows. So buy a 40 and lure him to an ally with booze and hold him down and wail on him. Afterwards we pissed on his face and pooped on his shirt. Still don't feel bad about him cause fuck that guy. Another time a Mexican homeless druggie kept fuckin with me pestering me for money and generally being an aggressive panhandler so I lured to my car at a distance from the music venue and beat the shit out of him. Haven't seen him since. If you're from North Texas and you go to DIY metal or hardcore shows you've probobly met me.

>>729532998
i switched the coke and pepsi into each others bottles.

im going to hell for that.

>>729540410
Is she hot? Can you post nudes? I need this anon.

>>729565118
Now i can sleep in peace
Thx for the adventure

>>729565118
Well
that could've ended worse
goodnight anon

>>729565266
>hate druggies to the max

What is this i raff i ruse??

>>729532998
Let's see
*Collected and fapped to CP (inc torture/rape) for years.
*Work in a care home, cranked heating up to max and left bedbound guy to dehydrate, significantly hastening his death.
*Systematically Robbed my Gran when she had Dementia over and over, tens of thousands. (Party over, she dead now).
*Raped and beat my GF, several times, tried to kill her at least once.
*Brutal assaults, many times strangers when drunk.

Probably a lot more things, can't remember.

>>729559206
She didn't say she was a female. She didn't try to get attention. You assumed she was a female from her story and that's your fault newfangled. Rule doesn't apply.

Stop being a desperate bitch ass little punk and learn the fucking rules.

>>729566417
What's so funny about it? I'm assuming you're a junkie nigger so you disagree with my believes?

>>729566611
Being edgy is so cool nowadays

>2008
>be me
>living by myself
>had a dog, Nero
>he was a good boy
>some late night two guys tries to break in
>Nero attacks them
>one guy kills Nero with a machete
>the wounded guy gets arrested and released 6 weeks after
>both guys disappears
>2010
>found out that the two guys are in town again
>gather some friends and younger brother to ambush them
>they get captured
>we beat them for hours
>I break their backs with a lead pipe

Since that night, my brother does not talk with me.

>>729543894
You're a nigger amirite?

>>729567094
How is that edgy?

>>729567176
Meh can't belive everything u read on the interwebs, but if true fuck your brother for being a pussy well done anon.
Some piece of shit ran my dog over on purpose when i was a kid.
Not gonna go into the full story but if the same thing happend now chances are i would be in prison as a attemped murderer/ murderer.

>>729549887
He clearly said holiday dumbass. So that means he's a europoor. Now answer me this, do Mexicans go to europoor faggot?

>>729563332
Richard?

>>729535418
kek

>>729567094
OK< I am assuming you think I am lying.
No way to prove or disprove it, tho these are merely some examples of many.

I did not buy a winrar license

>>729568685
It would be evil if you did.

>>729532998
Most evil?

I voted for Trump.

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>>729551580

>be 13
>waiting at bus stop with autistic former friend
>he gets on the bus (different bus to mine)
>leaves bag on the floor at bus stop by accident
>when he's paying his bus fare i throw his bag on the roof of the bus
>gets back off the bus asking where his bag went
>point to the roof
>kid starts crying and has a mental breakdown
>bus driver won't help him get his bag down
>autistic kid gets on the bus still in tears
>IThoughtWeWereFriends.jpg
>bus drives off with kid wailing about his bag
>friend on the bus messages me that the bag has fallen off the roof and into a muddy field
>brand new pe kit muddy
>school books muddy
>autist bullied for the rest of the year for being 'bag boy'

Finessed my way out of trouble by saying I didn't realise it was autists bag. Autist payed the ultimate price for deleting my map in halo

>>729556886
Only niggers sell drugs.

>>729568799
/thread

>>729546061
>beats women
>u're a cukk if u don't beat up womenz

I once had consensual intercorse in the missionary position with the lights off for the purpose of procreation

>>729537266
Yo anon I did the same thing but at restraunts! The only time I did anything at school was when I shit a literal ball of shit on the floor in Kindergarten. Heard them call for a janitor over the innercom when we laid down on our mats at nap time. These are the things I remember from being a kid lmao.

>>729566614
What happened to the old /b/? Faggots like you are what ruined this once great site.

>>729569528
>once great
Not really.
That said, this place has really gone to shit after the fappening.

>be me
>busted nut

>>729564311
You know the rules anonnette. Post them titties.

Had a tickle fight with my sister in law and 4 of her friends, in the dark. It was all naked bodies and doing sexy stuff before long. My sister in law still says I lick pussy and ass better than anyone else.

>>729538316
Wew! xD

>>729532998
When I was 8 - 10 years old I stole from almost any store I went to.

>>729569817
>xD

>>729532998
>found out there was a warrant to search my house
>stashed my weed in neighbours car so i dont get caught
>forgot about it
>3 months later neighbor is arrested during a traffic stop
>there was enough under his seat for intent to sell.
>he has no idea and is still in fed.
I hate myself. He was a really nice guy.

>>729564737
Were you also a faggot?

>be me 8th grade 2008
>autist in chorus class constantly drawing fanart for roblox
>chorus had a keyboard with some radical attachments n shit
>teacher lets us use it as long as we ask
>turn some knob on it not knowing what it does
>suddenly like a 17000 hertz tone just earrapes the class after pressing 1 key
>turn it up a little higher to like 19000
>nobody notices but autismo looks like hes on the verge of having an aneurysm
>he literally did an autistic screech
>after the bell rings we gotta sit down and start singing n shit cause its chorus
>hide phone
>start playing the 19000 hertz tone
>my friends and i cant stop kekking at the autistic screeching
>he eventually gets pissed and flips a chair and walks out the class
>friends and i still cant stop kekking
>teacher thinks we were messing with him
>play it off and autismo tells him about the sounds but they never find the source
>did it every now and then for rest of the year

>>729568685
Monster

>>729532998

Shit in a swimming pool and let gf's friends jump in before pointing it out.

>>729567509
Literally all of it was edgy. If you don't see it then you're probably an edgy faggit as well.

>>729532998
>Broke a puppy's skull with a rock when I was much younger.
>Fucked my married step sister for a little over a year in my early twenties.
>When I was younger, I never met a pussy I didn't cum in. I'm sure I have kids I don't know about, and I don't care.

>>729544531
would rather read walk the dinosaur than this crap

>>729569763
You know nobody believes you right faggot? Literally your autistic manchild syndrome is showing faggot. Enjoy your chicken tendies nigger.

Gave a homeless person a sandwich spiked with 5 drops of acid.

A few hours later he gets flattened by a car.

>>729570403
You're a druggie faggot. Enjoy never contributing to society you Stinky nigger.

>>729570962
That doesn't even sound believable faggot. Troll harder kid.

>>729571388
Sorry you don't believe it. Still doesn't change the fact it's true.

>>729571198
Post the news article then faggot? Otherwise I don't believe you.

>>729539050
one of the worst things in the thread

>>729570874
I think your just jealous you don't have anything truly evil to tell.

>>729571655
Nah. Doesn't change the fact you're a faggot autist who wants attention from bigger faggots than you on the net.

i'm 99% straight, also a guy

catfished someone

had always kinda wanted to be a chick irl

ended up actually falling for him

deleted him out of shame

i still think about him

this was half a year ago

>>729571808
Nah. You're a faggot and none of that happened kid. Enjoy your chicken tendies kid.

>>729571925
Post your dick faggot.

I fed a kitten to my neighbors hogs before.
It was inbred and dying anyway though so not a terrible thing

>>729571818
Awfully specific.

>>729571948
OK, so you do think I am lying.
Hahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahaahaha.
Enjoy being a Fannywipe.

>>729535418
Steve get out (((they))) are looking for you.

>>729572052
You're an inbred hillbilly aren't you? I bet you also hit the meth pipe and you're missing some teeth aren't you?

>>729572281
Carl?