Australia is master-race best country on Earth. Prove me wrong

Cunts or Cunce?
cast your votes cunce

>>728085730
this is not a good idea

>source: had leg eaten by blue ring octopiod

>>728085730
Between 1788 and 1868, about 162,000 convicts were transported by the British government to various penal colonies in Australia

so your ancestors are criminals, full master-race ... sound tar dude

>>728085730
australia? you mean old zealand

>>728085730
holy fuck what are you doing nigger

>>728086224

As opposed to what? New Zealand? It's not a real place, just a myth made up in 1903 in a pub in Queensland to fuck with the rest of the world.

>>728085730
>>728085730
Australia is lame because its in Asia.

>>728085730
yes it is op i come you country and get free money from the centrelink and next month all my cousins come too

>>728086441

Fuck off we're full

>>728085730
The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.

>>728086483
i already here and my cousins approved to come please do not be the rude

>>728086402
>not getting the joke

>>728086499
you forget there is nothing you can do to stop your death, except pray they can start your heart once it stops

>>728086325
He's got an Irukandji in his mouth too, I paid attention during Steve Irwin.

>>728086556
Fun Fact: once a heart stops stops it can't be restarted. All a defibrillator does is stop a fucked up heartbeat to try and trick the brain into restarting it normally. Once its flatline your gone

>>728086665
how fun

>97% percent or so of the land is worthless and practically uninhabitable
>the only ancient culture to appreciate while visiting built nothing, they have the oldest culture but it contributed nothing to civilization
>everything is poisonous
>single worst english speaking accent in the planet. Cockneys and people from Oklahoma sound refined next to an Australian

Thanks, I'll visit New Zealand instead.

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>>728086563

>>728086188
the convicts were only done for small crimes like stealing bread when poor, the rapists and murders stayed in Britain. plus alot of British came to Australia not as convicts.

>>728085730
no culture

Straya, cunts!

>>728085730
Bruh
Isn't that one of the most dangerous creatures on Earth?

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>>728086784
>single worst english speaking accent in the planet.

Visits New Zealand instead
top kek

>>728086988

It tickled me that's all that could be defended. The accent.

>>728086988
Fuck that. Go to New York...

No one fucks the language like a NY cabbie

>>728086980
yeah if that picture isnt photoshopped that guys probably dead

>>728086905
bacteria's the least of your worries down here

>>728085730
lol not going to even

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>>728086188
>Between 1788 and 1868, about 162,000 convicts were transported by the British government to various penal colonies in Australia
>so your ancestors are criminals, full master-race ... sound tar dude


People were sentenced to "Transportation" (being sent in shackles for a 3 month ship trip to Australia) for crimes such as "Opening mail not addressed to that person". I shit you not.

Incidentally, my Father's surname used to be Kelly and he was related directly to the Kelly family of Ned Kelly fame. Which makes me a descendant of the original Boba Fett.

>>728085730
It's in the southern hemisphere
Who the fuck wants to live in the southern hemisphere

It's funny but i literally know nothing about new zealand. Do they have cities... idk xd Are they white people? Were they also descendants of criminals?

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>be me aus
aus is fucked

>>728087036
its all true, Dont come here,
you forgot
>its on fire for 90% of the year

>>728085730
put it on your dick, fagmate

>>728087429
They are white hobbits, not white people

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>>728087060
>yeah if that picture isnt photoshopped that guys probably dead


It's not Photoshop (other than the digital enhancement of the blue rings)... but the body colors are otherwise identical to those that were pickled in Metho for preservation. This is a dead octopus.

The fucker at my local Aquarium sold me one for $120 without telling me it only had an entire lifespan of 4 months. It killed everything in the tank and then killed itself in the middle of summer, purifying my entire house with the smell of rotting seafood.

>>728085730
i dunno, that law prohibiting images of girls with small tits is a deal breaker

>>728087279
is there even anything threatening in the northern hemisphere ?
except for
Trump, Russians, ISIS, refuges

>>728087486
Peter Phile

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>>728085730

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>>728086905
>Implying no culture

>>728087518
So-Hem is for dweebs :P

>>728086188

Britain Sent Loads Of Convicts To America, Not Just Australia

>The joke about Australia is that it was founded by a bunch of criminals. And from 1788 until 1868, Britain did send roughly 164,000 convicts to the land down under. America's dirty little secret? The same exact thing was happening here. In fact, experts estimate that over 52,000 British prisoners were shipped off to colonial America.

https://www.gizmodo.com.au/2015/05/britain-sent-thousands-of-its-convicts-to-america-not-just-australia/

INFACT after they sent the WORST to America and u cunts started ur independence, Britian realised not to send the most agressive anymore and only send criminals of lesser crimes so they wont rebel ....

Suck shit u amerifat

>>728087574
noper, just like my girls on the thin side

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>>728087671
mate that war was fucked, it was slaughter we didn't stand a chance, we tried a 2nd time but the casualties where worse way worse.
They are still out there...waiting...planning...growing in strength, they will attack again and I fear we cannot hold back the tide

>>728087818
Thicc

>>728087890
thin>thicc

>>728087485
The fuck are you doing buying a Blue-Ringed Octopus?

>>728088116
No boobs, no bum, no service

Can confirm, boyfriend lives there, and he's not s stupid American.

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>>728088116

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>>728087671
Hey... if uve actually seen an emu irl ud know just how fucked they are...

HOWEVER... ur dumb ass got beat by.... wait for it..... just a little..... longer......... NOTHING!!! pic related... fucking americans are pathetic.

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Austrailia are the only faggots to lose a war to flightless birds

>>728085730
Sir, you are right. Straight out, I said it.
But there is a downside (downunder - downside - got it? haha):

1127ms

> 2017
> be cunt
> live in cuntcountry
> cuntcountry literally best country in the world
> can't play a single fucking only game because 1127ms ping... at least

Hello people, I have saved a link to a video of a female wearing few articles of clothing making sexual gestures

Is anybody interested? Would anyone like the youtube link?

>>728088339
And mice. And rabbits. And dogs.

>>728088383
+online

>>728088383
NBN poorfag.
> live in MasterState Vic
> have 100Mbit FTTP NBN
> spend my time on /b/
> FML

>>728087869
And they are fucking immortal. Hell, most of our critters are, or at least pretty close. I've had a few fun callouts over the years.

Emu gets hit by b-double, cops every set of wheels and the bitch is still kicking. Have to dodge the 3-inch eviscerators on its toes to finish it with a tire iron. Arm got tired and it was still kicking.

Had to pull a big red kangaroo out of a sedan's frontseat after it went through the windshield. Fucker was unharmed and hopped away, poor bastard he landed on wasn't so lucky.

Don't get me started on what koalas and wombats can do to a car. They don't usually survive, but those solid fuckers do some major damage. And echidnas.... walking fucking tyre spikes. They'll shred a truck tyre no worries.

>>728088339
birds are still something compared to.........>>728088213
NOTHING.

>>728088481
you spelled QLD rong, fucking loser

>>728088553
> "rong"
> gives a fucking l337 VicFag spelling lessons
> typical fucking banana-bender

>>728088493
truely you have gazed upon the face of death

>>728088835
Nah... I don't do much with snakes and spiders. Those are the little fuckers that truly terrify me

Australia is a country build on criminals in a land where everything wants to kill you. I understand that you need to be delusional just to get through the day, but you aren't even in the top 100, mate.

>>728088493
It's amazing what a wombat does to a car, given the size they are., it's like their muscle mass is a dense as uranium.

>>728088930
Shit for a place that is always out to kill you youd think that it wouldnt be even remotely livable... BUT WAIT....

>Top of the world: Melbourne crowned world's most liveable city, again

http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/top-of-the-world-melbourne-crowned-worlds-most-liveable-city-again-20160817-gqv893.html

>aren't even in top 100, mate.

rekt cunt. we are NUMBER 1 !

>>728088930
This
And Sidney is a let down

>>728088971
Honestly they are basically furry rocks. Held a tame one and there is nothing soft under that fur. I'd rather hit a tree than a good sized wombat

>>728089094
>SYDNEY is a let down

Well no shit... its full of asians. Hell everyone in Australia could tell u Sydney is the worst.

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>>728085730

Can't legally own handguns because they're a bunch of faggots who take it in the ass.

>>728089094
No one likes Sydney... there's nothing in Sydney other than a bridge, a fucked up building, and a lot of poofs and muffmunchers.

>>728089165
Heh, Melbourne - only city in Australia that consistently vote Greens, I'll take Sydney over that.

>>728089178
why need guns when u can punch the shit out of any cunt that thinks hes shit. only pussies use weapons.

>>728089221
and yet.... >>728089075 ouch.. that must hurt for u.

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>>728089178
>Pic related

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>>728089178
Don't need them. We have different concealed carry laws.

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>>728089178
Guns wont help you here mate, they will only attract more

>>728089286
I couldn't really give a fuck, I'm a few thousand miles away from both of you but I wouldn't piss on a burning greens voter.

>>728085730
>Australia
>Country
pick one

>>728089351
>I wouldn't piss on a burning greens voter.
I'd piss on one who wasn't burning.

Dingo ate mah baby nother shrimp on the bahbie right and propah drubbin them drop bears

>>728089409
Fair call

>>728089411
>being this retarded

>>728089445
shh, he is from Tasmania, dont excite him

>>728089349
What the fuck is that shark it looks hellish

>>728089522
I'd guess it's a Bull, little eyes because they get around in murky rivers, could be wrong though.

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>>728085730
We need a fucking republic and we all know who our new queen should be!

>>728089592
Speaking of Bull sharks
>https://au.news.yahoo.com/qld/a/34891094/queensland-flooding-councillor-films-beached-bull-shark-in-slacks-creek/
Queensland, you're being invaded, better get the pitchforks.

>>728089592
>tfw went to Sydney 2 years ago
>stayed for 2.5months
>lucky enough to not see a single spider
Your cockatoos are loud as fuck though I love them

>>728086784
>single worst english speaking accent in the planet

have you ever heard Scouser?

>>728089754
Heh yeah and they're endemic across Australia too, just with different colours. If you go to QLD the Flying Foxes/Fruit Bats are also loud as fuck.

>>728089827
>literally woke up to kookaburras
I don't care what anyone says Australia is amazing
First time seeing the ocean too
>All those pretty school girls
>I seen maybe 2 niggers
>95% of what you say makes me laugh
>cunt everywhere
10/10 visiting again

>>728085898
It's "cunts", you fucking ingrate

>>728089801

*a Scouser

>>728089178
Why would we need guns when no-one else has them? We don't have that scared shitless little bitch culture that America has where like everyone owns guns. Theres just no need unless you live on a farm or in general proximity to Blacktown

>>728085730
Those abominations you call spiders

>>728086784
Could not have said it better. That fucking accent makes my ears bleed.

>>728086665
Well with paralysis caused by venom they generally just put you on a heart/lung machine until the venom wears off

>>728090207
...so there are places you need them.

This is why we need to close the internet. Once upon a time i was just able to ignore the anus of the world, arse-tralia. no longer. these buffoons are once again waggling their buttocks in the face of good grace

First Australia glory thread I've seen make it past 100 replies, My shout tonight lads

>>728085730
Southern hemisphere is shit-tier hemisphere.

>>728090317
If you live in Blacktown, Penrith or Mt Druitt, you need at least 3 guns, an armoured car and a guard dog for your own safety. Apart from that and the outback, there is 0% need to own a firearm. If you do people just think of you as a wussy cunt who can't protect himself

>>728087767
So USA got niggers,and Australia got criminals. I'd say Australia wins

>>728090438
White criminals at that, defiantly wins

>>728087429
The answer to all three of these questions is "kinda"

>>728090397
Thankfully in this hemisphere we've got more than a few metres to ourselves.

>>728090318
Least you spelt arse correctly.

>>728090207
In the US no one *needs* guns. Target shooting, gun collecting, hunting, plinking, gunsmithing are all fun activities that you'll never enjoy. We have them because we have the choice.

>>728090605
Well, yeah, no one is running to go live there.

>>728088383

Not only is your ping that high, but you probably paid 2-3x more to get that game

>Target shooting, gun collecting, hunting, plinking, gunsmithing are all fun activities that you'll never enjoy

Actually we can... our laws allow everything above. please... before commenting on shit thinking you know everything... read it. We can do each and every one of this activities lawfully.
Suck a dick cunt, you know nothing.

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>>728090750
Those are all things I do enjoy. What I can't do is shoot a motherfucker in my house, because not only will I go to jail, I'll never own guns again.

>>728090750
I don't get your mentality? Why is it "Fun" to own a military grade rifle designed for the sole purpose of killing other humans?

>>728086665
This isn't entirely true

>>728090807
Which is generally the way we like it, hence our policies of processing illegal immigrants offshore so they don't get onshore rights.

>>728090955
It's fun as shit anon, wish I could own an AR tbh.

>>728090934
Damn.... your dick must be tiny.

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>>728091033
Ohh shit son, you got me good

>>728090955
1. We don't own "military grade" anything. If you think so, provide one example.
2. Hunting weapons are designed for hunting animals not humans.
3. Defensive weapons are designed for self defense, so to protect your life and your family's life.

>>728090750

you also only have them because your government prefers votes to citizen safety

protip, what are your guns going to do against drones ?

>>728090750
And we don't have so many of our kids being shot.. may you blow off the tip of your cock while cleaning your gun, you fucking stupid yankee Cunt

I just realised we have 10,686 beaches, most of which are barely touched and pristine. How many do you Amerifats have? It would take 29 years 98 days 12 hours and 30mins if you visited a new Australian beach each day to see them all.

>>728090318
Serious question here.. ass or arse? What is the correct useage

>>728091176
Good retort. Must have taken hours of research on Google to come up with that one. "Blah, blah, blah, don't confuse me with facts." Silly south-hemmer.

>>728091137
>protip, what are your guns going to do against drones ?
Drones operated by citizens you mean

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>>728091190
If you're doing a beach a day. Why you have leftover? Leap year still isn't a factor.

>>728091283
Hey, don't lump me in with that faggot, antiguns are antiguns no matter where they're from.

>>728091288
cuz your citizens are going to be able to "log on" when the government goes into shitscape mode.

>>728091224
Ass = "Hey, nice ass baby"
Arse = "Yeah the shit I took after that Mexican food was that big it stretched my bloody arse"

>>728085730
In Australia, more than 38,000 people are reported missing each year.

Fuck you and your shitty country.

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>>728091318
Valid point. My bad.

>>728091308
Yeah I forgot about leap years but I can't be fucked recalculating that

test

>>728091338
Not my citizens fella, I'm not from the USA.
Who do you think operates this big bad gubmint you keep mentioning?

>>728091410
nice derailment from point of topic.

you shitstain you.

>>728091137
>what are your guns going to do against drones
lolwut?!?

>>728091356
Yeah most of them get lost like fuckwits though, probably because they are fuckwits.

>>728091342
Ass is a donkey type animal, Arse is a posterior.

>>728091443
Being something something big bad government?

>>728091283
O hours of research.. just common fucking sense.. which seems to be in short supply where you're from you Donald Trump rimming.. hand gun up the pooper fucktard..... CUNT

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>>728091356
>????

>>728091467
>>728091467
l2 second amendment

>>728091475
being, the whole point of owning a gun per your constitution is a moot point.

and having access to guns like america does is detrimental to the safety of its citizens

>>728091484
You used cunt wrong, cunts for your friends.

>>728085730
You censor porn based on cup size.

>>728091495
are you retarded?

Australia 23,13 millions of people
Usa 318,9 millions of people

>>728091574
>being, the whole point of owning a gun per your constitution is a moot point.
Not my constitution and my point was all these government capabilities people like to bring up are run by - people, yet somehow you magically think in a national schism everyone working for the government is going to take the governments side. How did that work for Britain?

>>728091605
Funny but simply an internet meme and a retard religious MP - I'm sure you're familiar with them.

>>728091484
https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/ad-hominem

>>728091681
It did say at any one time, the other one was per year, how that scales though I cbf working out.

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>>728091484
>O hours of research
Exactly.

>>728091224
Ass = a critter. A mule or someshit... I dunno. They got 4 legs and pull carts.

Arse = The area you shit from. Often confused with your mouth.

>>728091596
Naaa CUNT is a difficult concept for foreigners.. I mean I can call you a CUNT and it's a compliment.. I can call you a CUNT and its a fucking insult.. but you're right... i shouldn't have called you a CUNT.. i mean a CUNT is useful.. you're a fucking waste of space.. i wouldn't piss in your mouth if your teeth were on fire

>>728091808
Wrong anon, anon. Cunt's well beyond an insult in Australia, it's a term of endearment.
>Sup cunt
It's something you use with good mates.

>>728091484
Mate. Did you use the letter O to represent a 0? Are you fucking mad?

Returned OP here, good thread and Im off to bed, G'night fellas. Long Live Bob Hawke!

>>728091794
Thanks for clearing that up... so i hear that you like to take an ass up the arse is that right?

Notice to all reading thread. Most of the Au posters on here are predictably over accenting words like 'cunts,mate etc'. Most Australians do not do this. These miscreant low life types are typical of the type who travel to Bali or London and have little or nothing to contribute to normal conversation or discourse. They attempt to compensate for their deficiencies in normal behaviour by trying to instil an image of yahoo lad type behaviour that includes drinking,swearing and a general disregard for manners and common decency. We have an identity crisis in Au as a result of looking to other nations for cultural influence, Every year it gets worse. Jesus, these insecure loudmouths try to shove Halloween and thanksgiving down our throats and we have no idea what its all about.
But in Au you must try to look cool because if you don't you will be bullied and terrorised by the brainless majority.

>>728085730
Perfect

>>728091605
State examples of this please

>>728091925
Exactly, although I think the preferred animal genitalia today is a dragon.

We should send all our immigrants to australlia.

>>728091899
You need to go to Uni and enroll in CUNT studies.. you are missing the beautiful subtleties of the word. If I told you that your mother was a fat useless CUNT you might be a little peeved. It's all about context.. seriously though your mother is a useless fat CUNT.

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>>728091930
So guys who say cunt celebrate halloween?
Where do you come up with this shit? Also leave your house occasionally, then you might speak to some Australians.

>>728092052
We'd intercept them pre-border and send them back to bumfuckistan most likely.

>>728088213
>FF in poor vis
>Underestimating your enemy (literal birds)
Apples and Oranges, m8

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>>728091925
Well done for using the words in a sentence. If only one person learns something today, then it was a good day.

>>728092093
I'd only be peeved if I was unAustralian, only way to upset an Australian is to have a go at Australia, personal insults don't hold water.

>>728087485
why the fuck would you put a blue ring in with other sea creatures. Are you mentally retarded or something? What did you honestly think was going to happen?

>>728085730

Handling a blue-ring octi?! Fukken nutz m9, that's Steve Irwin tier crazy!

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>>728090207
>Why would we need guns when no-one else has them? We don't have that scared shitless little bitch culture that America has where like everyone owns guns. Theres just no need unless you live on a farm or in general proximity to Blacktown


There's over half a million unregistered handguns floating around NSW and VIC. This is why they had to pass a law restricting ammo and caliber. Parramatta's Lebo gangs were selling full auto UZI pistols (in three sizes and two calibers) along with grenades and rocket launchers - right across from the police station, behind City Extra restaurant. I can't even count the number of times someone around there offered to sell me a handgun *(.45 Colt Autos and CZ87 9mm were the most commonly sold). Now you can buy a .40 Glock within 20 minutes of offering cash.

I wouldn't want to even visit a place where Mortal Kombat is banned.

Fuck right off.

>>728092196
Given that the same thing would have happened with just about any octopus, pretty fucking stupid.

Octos are hunters... blue rings have a venomous nip, but it takes a special stupid not to keep any octopus seperate.

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>>728092402
And in the recent NSW senate inquiry, 4% of handguns used in crime were EVER registered, in a country which registers every gun sold and has done for 2 decades.

>>728092501
You expect descendants of criminals to obey laws?

>>728085730
Aussies are funny cunts for sure. Pretty hard for living in a country where everything is trying to eat and or kill you.

BUT

Was a colony of the British empire so whatever the list of best countries is, you are gonna be behind Britain somewhere. Not saying Britain is numero uno at all... but you are behind them.

Retard government is letting in all the sandpeople, lose some serious points for that.

I think Holland is pretty alright.

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Just a reminder that the Jack Jumper ant has a winged relative that exists right across Australia and collectively these ants killed more Australians one year than all other wildlife combined... including Wasps, Bees, Dogs, Cows etc.

>>728092168
What kind of bullshit millennial crap is that.. grow up.. grow some balls .. get fucking angry... your 12 aren't you?

>>728088481
>Implying WA isn't the master state

Without WA the entire country would be fucked. What does Victoria have apart from the MCG; absolutely fuck all.

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>>728088213
>claim casualties caused by "nothing"
>most casualties in Kiska caused by jap underwater mine
deflect harder ausfails

>>728092402
Look at that! Gun control doesn't make guns magically disappear.

>>728092628
>Retard government is letting in all the sandpeople, lose some serious points for that.
Nah, we've been shutting them out pretty effectively for years. Got to a thousand or so per month arriving illegally, it's down to a hundred or so per year now.

>>728092656
Get angry at an insult? Heh, sorry anon you'd have to mean something to me for an insult to hold any bite - outside that it's mildly amusing when someone is upset enough to insult someone else.

>>728092765
I take that back.. your female.. or maybe you should be .. start taking hormones now.. good luck with your journey you pussy CUNT

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>>728085730
South Australian Velcohummper

>>728086224
Actually the "Old Zealand" is a place in the Netherlands reffered to as Zeeland , and not the Scandinavian Zealand , so Old Zealand is somewhere in the Netherlands , also at one point NewZealand was actually part of British Australia.

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>>728092830
>good luck with your journey you pussy CUNT
Thanks for making my point

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>>728085730
You fought a war against Emus and fucking LOST. Get the fuck out of here

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>>728092770
I need this

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>>728085730
Queensland snuggly Poof

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>>728092937
Thanks for pointing that out for the third time this thread, it gets funnier every time

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I love how Americans assume that Aussie saltwater crocodiles are smallish and just "slightly bitey" compared to their Alligators. A "saltie" can leap 14 feet out of the water to rip a fruitbat from a tree. They're smart enough to identify where people stop at a river and will wait 3 months in the same spot to kill the next tourist. They're fast. Really really fast. And they'll tree you and wait days at the bottom for you to fall out when you're exhausted and dehydrated.

My uncle was there when they cut two Aboriginal kids and a full grown man out of three large crocs in Darwin once.

A tourist was taken about 5 days ago.

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>>728092963

>>728092937
I know there's a lot of reading, but about 25 posts down this was already mentioned. There's since been about 40 posts relating to it.

It's the banana of any Aussie thread.

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Cameltoe

>>728093018
Sorry I'm not reading through the entire ausfag circle jerk

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But Aussies don't like Muslims. Not one little bit.

>>728093044
The bit I love is when people think Nile crocs are the biggest/baddest in the world. If only they knew the ashin variant is significantly bigger.

>>728093083
>ctrl f is your friend

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>>728085730
Tasmanian Snuggle bunny

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Anyone got any questions for Australians? Seems to be around 4 of us in this thread at the moment.

>>728086556
I was working on a fishing boat and greenie got hit by one, we have him CPR for 26 hours and he survived. No brain damage, that was fucked.

>>728093083
Saying that makes me want to aim my cock at you.. ccccummming!.... ooooo i'll get a tissue for you

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>>728093164
Central Australian Doyouevenliftbrah

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Aussie Tacos, anyone?

>>728087255
Reece?

>>728093044
Ever watch that Swamp People show where they go catching gators on handlines and shit?
I always wanted to see those guys take on a little 6ft salty...

>>728093251

> Catchup
> not Mustard-Master-Race

Absolutely-Disgusting.bmp

>>728093251
Sounds good, got any onion?

>>728093333
Sorry mate, no ketchup here

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>>728093251
Truly the only reason to go to Bunnings

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Fuckin wombats are my biggest fear when driving between Bathurst and the outer towns. I prospect for gold out there and see many massive wombats on the road that are barely smaller than my two-seater sofa. Hitting one with my car would decimate us all.

>>728093251
Now that is art !!!!! I am a simple man in many ways.. but i will wax lyrical at the beauty of a well buttered piece of white bread and a slow cooked sausage. A beauty to behold.. and better to taste!

>>728093312
They'd treat them exactly the same, reptiles get knackered pretty quick, tucker him out, plug him and he's done. It used to happen here a lot before they banned croc hunting.

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>>728093400
sif

>>728093333
Chekd... wasted.

> ketchup
Tomato sauce, mate. Didn't even know what ketchup tasted like until 3 years ago

>>728093403
Yeah, they're beastmode.

>>728093222
nice trips sir

Hey bros

Ausfag here.

It really is a fucking shithole here. No joke, between the average stupid bogan and the growing social issues there's not a great deal of freedom here.
Literally everything is beureucratic to the highest degree. But the mainly conservative older population don't want to follow rules.

Almost literally everyone here, myself included has a special snowflake complex.
Tall poppy syndrome, on a pedistal, on a soap box, however you want to put it. But this country is fucked because of the mentality of everyday "strayans"

>>728093481
Ella?

>>728093403
muscle. That's all those little buggers are made of. Pretty sure they're part rock.

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>>728093552
Settle down turbo, gtfo out of the city sometimes - fuck people. Hard to be smothered in beaurocracy when you're one of 5 people in the nearest hundred miles.

>>728093632
NFI tbh but I've seen that name bandied around a bit.

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Couldn't find a cute Aussie girl (fucked a few over the years but they're pretty stupid or flighty) so I imported a Canadian model. Yummo.

Look at me. I am the captain now.

>>728093517
It's pretty weird

>>728093771
Nice, least it would have been easy to import her, not like all these dudes that import flips and thais

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>>728093552
>It really is a fucking shithole here.

No shit, Sherlock

>>728093552
This is the second-most unAustralian thing I've read.

>>728087704
eshay bruz.. twoten sydney serchaz

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Hate to say it boys... but this is the way Australian girls are starting to look now.

>>728085730
i hope that blue ring poisons you to death

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>>728093403

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National Cake

>>728093797
Yeah. I thought Maccas was supposed to use ketchup, then I took a trip stateside. To be honest, its not horrible but I had to ask for half the usual amount on my burger. And every place has a different idea of what ketchup should taste like

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>>728094011
Huh, interesting. The stuff I had I found a lot saltier than I was used too, prolly had half the sugar that sauce does.

You were literally the people the british didnt want.
At least america gave up on england and not the other way around.

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This was not the dominant male. The dominant male in the river took his front leg after it was mangled in a trap.

>>728094136
>You were literally the people the british didnt want.
Aye, sent us here to die cause they were full. Thought fuck that, can't be bothered dying, now we're full.

>>728094084
Respect the almighty vl turbo

>>728093771
I call bullshit! There are gorgeous Australian girls here.. maybe your micro penis is the issue

>>728094095
Just different recipes and spices. I had ketchup that was like eating salt, some that tasted like liquid tomato, and some that was so sweet/spicy tasted like something out of a chinese takeaway

>>728094215
Kek
Alright. I will say the fact that you fuckers lived so long with all that deadly shit running around is slightly impressive. The most americans have is fucking bears.

>>728093938
they aint aussie

>>728087704
Ffahhen Gatorade bong ana v-bizzi ashtray chuzzie

>>728094271
He wishes that was a turbo

>>728085898
Fuck outta here slope head cunt

>>728090207
Americans need guns so their kids can shoot up themselves and any handy preschools

>>728094375
Nah you guys are stuck with killer bees now too, fuck that.

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>>728085730
Western Australian Penis Biter

>>728089629
Fuck that ranga bitch, worse than julia

>>728094405
Also known as a Saturday night at the pub

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>>728093517

Was it because it misspelled it and meant to type catsup, the original name?

Also, now I think about it Catsup it great, ketchup is for fries (chips) only. Catsup it rough ground tomatoes with spice and such.

Besides, don't second guess the gets or the gets will get YOU!

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>>728094405
Prolly this cunt

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>>728094548

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>>Victorian Anus Wrecker

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>>728094351
>I call bullshit! There are gorgeous Australian girls here.. maybe your micro penis is the issue

You ignorant cunt. You should know better than to bullshit. Aussie women are called Pigs for a reason. They're ugly inside and outside. Most speak like a Bogan. Only Olivia Newton-John (who isn't technically an Australian) speaks with any class.

>>728093715
Because I swear thats her, Ella Collins.
Making you, Cameron? Kek

she looks so hella familiar. I've seen her her before I think.

Also, I don't know if you've ever met the rangers while camping in any reserve etc..or tried to aquire land near aboriginals.
But yes even in the land of dust the paperwork follows.
I grew up in the bush, fucking caveman style..

I live in a chill area outside the cities. But bro, I can't handle the bitches anymore
I have 30 exes and they're all the same vacuous retards tbh. At work everyone has this weird superiority and power-trip thing going on.

Everyone here is a wanna be American zombie.
That being said I hate the Aussie "culture" sausage bread and xxxx isn't a national dish.

Forgetting how to pronounce vowels does t make an accent.

It makes a fuckwit who can't vocalise English properly holding a shit beer and a half sandwich

I know I have a problem and if I don't like it I should leave.
But why can't I stay and be the only cunt who actually likes the land here?
Every other fucker acts like it's deadly. The land is the only part of this dump that I like.

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>>728094552
Nah this is our best female pollie
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moJ7j86MyWw

>>728094600
Maybe... but catsup isn't tomato sauce either.
Tomato sauce is all sorts of crap (mostly pumpkin) with tomato paste and flavour mixed through.

>>728094778
Nah I just saved it off /b/ but I've heard she's SA or something.

>Also, I don't know if you've ever met the rangers while camping in any reserve etc..or tried to aquire land near aboriginals.
Yeah rangers are annoying, they've a lot of ground to cover in WA though.

>>728094774
Dead true.
I was with a radiologist once.

Very rare Aussie girl.
Intelligent, funny, sexy af.
They do exist but you have to get your hands dirty fucking pigs and slaying dragons to find a girl worth keeping.

For the record I didn't, so I'm back to fucking pigs and slaying dragons

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hoovin' shmoovin

>>728085730
US, Britain, and Japan all have a better claim to "greatest country" than Australia.

I'd put Australia somewhere between Mexico and south America on world ranking for countries.

>>728094981
South Africa

...

>>728094894
Referencing?

>>728094981
>>728095039
Funnily enough we've got a metric fuckton of South Africans in Western Australia

>>728094774
Bull shit... the only reason you haven't got any good Australian pussy is cause you can't earn it you fat stupid CUNT! Stick too your latex pussy

>>728086188
u americunt lot were buncha shitty cunts who murdered indians, atleast we murdered blacks

>>728095127
Kek
That's funny, earning pussy.

You mean treating them like shit and getting laid anyways right?

>>728095117
Yep what's up with that .. i was there last month.. new fucking Cape Town!

>>728095104
Captain cook I imagine.

Tried finding a landing and fucked it up. Landing somewhere else.

Australia scored higher than North Shitcunt on the democracy index, Aus was 10th while you kids were 21st

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>>728095243
>pic related

>>728095251
They're abandoning that mess for the nearest place with a similar culture I guess, shitloads from Rhodesia/Zimbabwe too after they got evicted and the country went to shit.

>>728095247
I mean you a spotty virgin.. go slide that Kek in your ass you stupid fucktard . Seriously we have some of the hottest women on the planet here.. just cause they dont wanna fuck you ( and can we blame them) .. don't bring them down.. just go get one of those flesh lights and slam that 2 inch dick into it

>>728085730
The guy holding that octopus was probably poisoned. That little guy can do some damage.

>>728085730
That is a blue ringed octopus and whoever had it on their hand in that pic is now either dead or suffering massive nerve damage.

>>728094892
For sure.

But my point is more like what happens when you dont have your permits or application forms or renewal letters.

Like driving through the outback having your shit taken by either cops to stop abos getting it, or by abos to stop the cops getting it.

Fuck em all to death

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>>728095537
>Fuck em all to death
Yeah, I'm with you there

>>728095412
Bro, straight up have fuck more women than I can remember names.

If you haven't learnt yet you probably won't.

Every girl you've ever desired has fucked a guy like me and is using a guy like you to get over it. That's why they always leave you when they're over their ex.

>>728088481
100mbit. Lol stoneage shit.

>>728086980
It's only a blue ringed octopus.... Don't be such a bitch

>>728087704

yes, you don't have any,you've only got kangroos and the rest is just nonsense

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>>728095104
>Referencing?

That would be Gallipoli. The British sent us to the wrong beach whilst they sat on the correct one sipping tea. Rather that resolve the situation, they Brits told the Aussies to "Take the hills" overlooking the sea. The Aussies and New Zealanders (Australian New Zealand Army Corps = ANZAC) then fought the Turks for a fucking long time before eventual withdrawl. We lost a lot of men here. A LOT of me. All because the Brits were fucking cunts. If you've ever seen the movie "Gallipoli" with Mel Gibson in it, you'll know that the Brits forced the Aussie soldiers (mostly young boys who lied about their age in order to get conscripted) to run repeatedly into full machine-gun fire on a daily basis.

This was before Australia separated from Britain. The Brits were very cruel to the Aussies. Fuck them.

>>728093251
suck that bunning marketing cock mate. aussie tacos, what a fag.

>>728095804
Wait, how young are you?

>>728087485
That's what you get for buying something without researching it.

>>728095796
Lol
>being at Gallipoli
>being dumb as fuck to run against the guns

Way to be the most useless fuckers any battle has ever seen

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I rarely laugh at my own kind but this is fucking awesome.

>>728095761
This is true.
There is no real culture to speak of.

We have nasty habits instead.

>>728096019
>There is no real culture to speak of.
I feel sorry for your childhood

>>728095925
>>being dumb as fuck to run against the guns
>Way to be the most useless fuckers any battle has ever seen


The British officers shot any man with their service pistol who failed to run into what was called "no-man's land" ... the open flat ground between the Aussie and Turk trenches.

You know nothing of honor and are a gutless coward. And probably a poofter.

>>728095630
Bro.. you sound like a virgin. Australian girls are hot. Im fucking 34 years old.. I have been to the US i have been to Europe. All women have their charms.. but Australian girls can't be beat. .. ooo and you're a stupid CUNT

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Famous Aussie Quotes.

Go! Go! Go!

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Translation: Human Poop that washes up on Bondi Beach.

why does everyone think guns are banned in Australia?... they have never been banned, currently there is approx 4 million legally owned firearms in Australia which includes, rifles,hand gun's, semi autos and yes full auto.

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>>728096241
>Here he goes again

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A "dead horse" an expression for a Meat Pie. Australia used to sell horsemeat in its pies since the 1920s.

>>728096271
>"You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault."
B A S E D
A
S
E
D

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An "Aussie Salute" is the action of waving flies away from your face. AKA: The Great Australian Salute.

>>728096426
Shame they're too flaky to keep in your skyrocket

>>728096148
Tell me more of your honour faggot?

My heritage is in fucking flying aces.

And yeah my fellow anscetral countrymen were fucking retarded not to revolt.

There was no tactical advantage to Australian troops even being in that fucking hemisphere. Period.

I'm well aware of the historical conflict faggot. But it was our officers and our politicians that put them there.

The public with their white feathers and remarks of coward though make for good brainwashing.

So call me a coward again dockhead. It's people like you that had those men on that beach.
Fuck your pride.
Fuck your nationalism you faggot.

ANZAC is dead for a reason you faggot.

These men must be respected for they gave their lives.
But they shouldn't be honoured for invading another country, regardless of the reasoning and excuses.

Am I wrong?

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An expression for Sausages (AKA Snags, Sangers etc)

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>>728096378
Dont feel bad bro.. you can make it up with effort!

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Translation: "You think too highly of yourself"... or ... "You are full of yourself"

>>728096575
At least measure it properly anon, you'll embarrass the rest of us.

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Frogs don't like being put into socks.

>>728096501
I saw more flies in my one week stay in Sydney than I've seen in a decade in the States. Why the fuck can't your ass tons of spiders keep up with the fuck tons of flies?

>>728092545
Depends what you have it in with. I fed numerous octos to my old fun fimbriate moray.

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Translation: "Who Farted?"

>>728096241
Dude I've had more exes than years in your life.
I'm 27.
Guess what, Australia has ugly girls. Half the girls I've been with have been borderline ugly.
:) surprised?

Who is the virgin here lol.

Bro "Australian girls" aren't a thing. You like European women. Simple as that.

When's the last time you fucked an abo?
That's a real Aussie girl fuckhead.

Also I've travelled a few places myself :p yeah hot chicks are in other countries...

Why are you so convinced ours are better?

>>728096714
We don't fumigate for them like you guys and yeah, we have a metric fuckton of flies here. There was a good episode of Les Strouds Survivor when he was excited as he arrived here because our usual bush flies don't bite - 2 days later he wanted to end himself because of the quantity.

>>728096748
Dropped their lunch where I live.

>>728096710
Mad as a cut snake.
Ducks nuts
Dogs breakfast

>>728096906
Dog and bone
Ugly as a bucket full of bashed crabs
Useful as tits on a bull

>>728096714
lol if you think the couple fly's in Sydney are bad try going anywhere in the outback, those fuckers will literally pick you up and fly off with you.... ever seen a flying steak? come to west Australia and you will.

>>728097029
Busted me pluggers
Busted my poopoop valve
Cracked that faggot with my left right good night
Fight me cunt


Copper coppers..

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>>728096714
>I saw more flies in my one week stay in Sydney than I've seen in a decade in the States. Why the fuck can't your ass tons of spiders keep up with the fuck tons of flies?

Was this in October/September? That's typical fly-season here. For some reason they occasionally reach plague proportion where you can get up to 2,000 flies attempting to land on you at any given moment. The locals of the outer towns in the country will wear head-nets on their heads to keep the flies off. Most insect repellent doesn't work so you need something strong with Deet in it. Tourists have NO idea what is going on when Fly season kicks in.

And don't confuse city flies with bush flies. Bush flies won't fly away when you swat at them. They get sucked up your nose and down your throat easily. And if you try to dislodge them from your eyes you end up squishing them. Horrible.

>>728097029
What mudcrab?

>>728097170
Oi cunt, pinch a durry?

>>728094981
Lol the US has nothing but the military. Other than that they're pathetic.

>>728096792
Because I'm half sure you never got your dick wet.. or that you even deserved it. Fuck you you little whiny bitch .. say what you want.. only makes you look dumb. If you haven't been able to hook up with Australian girls it's because you are not worthy.. face it.. get a mail order bride now

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>>728097170
Kangaroo Edward
FUBAR

>>728097270
Yeah them shits are pretty uggo

>>728097290
Fuck.
You win. That is the single most common bogan phrase.

The only other thing I know is calling your mates cunt, and calling cunts mate.

But for real, give me a fuckin pj red cunt I'm ganging for a durry

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>>728096792
>When's the last time you fucked an abo?
>That's a real Aussie girl fuckhead.

This is a full-blooded Abo woman. Thank you for pointing it out to the fuckhead.

>>728097431
Just now.. took the entire load up her left nostril

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This is an Abo WFIWYD (why-fi-wide) - translation: Wouldn't Fuck It With Your Dick.

Same as an American Anti-MILF

>>728097404
Lol

A man is fishing by the river for mudcrabs illegally and the cops see him.
They approach him and tell him fishing for crabs here isn't legal and they'll need to confiscate the evidence.

The man calmly says to the police, "this is my pet mud crab, he a
Ways comes back to me"

The cops don't believe the man but he insists and says I'll show you. The cops allow the man to prove himself and he releases the mudbro into the water.

The cops ask, "how long till your mudcrab comes back"
The man replies
"What mud crab?"