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The fuck was the last time we actually had a good tendies greentext thread?
>Be fucking me
>Hour 9 of Battlefield 4 marathon
>Radio to the sow downstairs to bring me another 2 liter of Mountain Dew and a whole 34-pack of my favorite Great Value tendies
>Tell her if she forgets the tangy BBQ sauce that I'm going to break her other knee while she sleeps
>"o-okay anon"
>Hear loud sobbing and wailing for the next five minutes, probably on the rag again
>6 minutes have passed since I've given my clear instructions
>Grab the radio and scream at the top of my lungs "IT'S BEEN 30 MINUTES SINCE I'VE LAST EATEN YOU FAT LARDASS, I'M UP HERE SUFFERING THE LIKES OF AN ETHIOPIAN CHILD ABOUT TO DROP DEAD, MOVE YOUR CUNT AND GET UP HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"O-okay anon, the tendies are almost ready for my sweetie"
>Tell the slut to give me another package of sauce and to make a trip to McDonald's for when I get hungry later or she'll wake up to a log of my shit in her mouth
>Hear more wailing and sobbing, muffled shouting about why she didn't get the abortion her father recommended 20 years ago
>Door creaks open, she minds the jugs of refuse and piss everywhere, the light in the hallway burns my skin when it hits my arm
>She sets the food on my desk and takes my other 3 plates from a few hours ago
>Hop back into the server
>Another few hours pass
>Hear a gunshot
>Match has another half-hour to go, fuck it, she can wait
>Almost shatter my kneecap standing up
>Chair cries out in relief and begs for God to smite it
>Pack a few tendies and pour a cup of soda for the journey downstairs
>Waddle my perfectly healthy 400lb body out of my door, have to sit and scoot down the stairs
>10 minutes pass
>Stop, drink Mountain Dew and catch my breath half way down
>Stretch a little bit for the last half
>Continue onward
>On my last tendie
>Push open her bedroom door
>Her brains are plastered all over the walls
>Suicide note reads: Reply to this thread or your mother will die in her sleep tonight.
>>
u got me there mister
>>
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>>727355469
>>
Kekekekek
>>
Wew.
>>
Fuck. You.
>>
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>>727355469
Dat ending.
>>
>>727355469
>reply to this thread
Ok...
AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD
>>
okay
>>
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>>727357134
this is 18+ get the fuck out cunt
>>
>>727355469
rip mama
>>
>>727357574
Well. I'm 19 so I'm not breaking any rules
>>
You set the bar too high, op
>>
Damn
>>
Too soon bub.
>>
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>be me
>year 3017
>tendies have gone extinct
>crawl down street
>no tendies in sight
>my stomach rumbles with the might of the dragonborn
>needtendies.ogg
>cry out in a need of desperation
"LORD KEK, GRANT ME THE TENDIES SO I MAY YET LIVE"
>nothing
>mfw
>Lord kek appears
>holydicks.webm
>he is glorious
>bask in his kekworthy aura
>he grants me a single tendie
>eat it
>spit out out
>this isn't my crispy crispy chicken tendies
>its a vegetable
>spit it out
>screech at the top of my lungs at the Kek lord
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>wake up
>see plate of tendies by my bed
>it was all a dream
>>
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>>727355469
Well played, grape shade.
>>
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>>727355469
>Anonymous 03/29/17(Wed)22:06:24 No.727355469
>>
>be white
>college freshman
>need tendies but no mom at school
>go to grocery store
>no money
>steal tendies
>sneak and theft attributes level up
>am skyrim
>eat tendies
>expand dong
>>
Take off boi
https://youtu.be/mCKuqCh4-zw
>>
>>727358277
You have to be exactly 18 years old you fucking dumb newfag.
>>
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>>727358896
>boost alchemy skill eating tendies
>>
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>>727355469
https://youtu.be/3gC5aCc9pKo
To Late She died...Bitch went to bed early...Mission Failed...
>>
Shit
>>
>>727359003
Well, I guess I'll leave. See you later phags
>>
n
>>
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Dont die pls mum pls
>>
Fuck
>>
OP you are a cunt
>>
damn daniel
>>
Well! Can't argue with that!
>>
>>727355469
Fine.
>>
>at school
>signed up to watch tards during lunch
>freshnet lunch slaves are serving tendies
>mfw
>twist head 180 degrees behind me
>the tards were gone
>sighs
>cracks neck back into place and starts the search for the tards
>doesn't take long until i here its call
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.mp3
>all 11 tards were Naruto sprinting towards the freshnet lunch slaves
>grimaced at the sight
>THOSE WERE MY TENDIES
>took off after the tards
>Naruto sprinting wasn't enough, they had reached the first lunch slave
>admired its work in the kitchen, where a woman belonged
>gave it a thumbs up before 3 of the tards overtook it
>8 tards left
>jumped over serving station skills passed down from generations of my Mexican border-hopper brethren
>lunch slave #2 didn't see my glistening, oil slathered body coming
Heil Hitler, I'm fuckin lazy
>>
whale shit
>>
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>be me
>jacking it to csgo gameplay
>nut during a deagle ace
>took all my stamina
>decide to eat a banana to gain more energy
>go downstairs
>man named John is in my kitchen
>looks me in the eye
>"save it it's all yours my friend"
>mfw
>>
>>727361762
All hail meme king John Callaghan
>>
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>>727355469
>>
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Fucker. With your shit greentext.
C-C-C-COUNTER
>>
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>>727355469
Well played
>>
>>727358474
Sad times these are.
>>
>>727355469
toxic
>>
>>727355469
didn't even chuckle
>>
>>727364779
Who fucking cares?
>>
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>>727364033
>>
kys
>>
Welp
>>
>>727355469
HA!
>>
>>727355469
rad, my dude
>>
Thanks for the laugh anon
>>
Test
>>
I'm seeing her in two days so better safe than sorry
>>
>>727355469
The original is this for the original originality
>>
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>>727364033
>>
Fuck you
Thread posts: 55
Thread images: 18
Thread images: 18