Green text stories? Green text stories. >be me, 2014, closing

>>727263000
sure.

ye, go on

>>727263000
Plz

bumpo

bumperooni nigger.

>>727263000
Y u so mean?

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>I'm a pretentious little shit at this time in my life so I'm reading walden like a euphoric fedora faggot
>I get random text
>whatsertitties got my number
>howintheflamingostrichfuck
>immediately burst into my sister room demanding to know if she gave that stringy haired leech my number
>she's a bagel/10
>proceed to ask the Jewish doughnut why she gave her my number
>she says it was fine since I wasn't seeing the rosy colored cunt anymore
>I call her a bitch or something
>get another text from the man girl
>she asks if I'd like to visit her at home
>whatever.gif
>ask house hitler for keys to see -insert random name-
>former chancellor of Germany grills me because of course I have ulterior motives
>she relents and I go to titties' house
>she opens the door, sleek black silky hair, skin-tight shirt (she's a big c-cup from what I could judge) and leggings
>I'm fucking dumbfounded

...continue? Sorry guys this is a long one

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>be freshman
>New school, was known for drugs at old one and needed new start
>awkward asf
>buttfuck egypt.exe
>get to know some kids. Very cool
>live with cousin at time
>cousin is my dood he drives me places
>I joke about shooting up schools niggers and etc etc
>one day my cousin catches on and starts too
>goes too far one day
>Police come and ask for cousin.
>I flip shit and think they looking for me
>Seriously wipe phones and hide them
>Be grounded a lot and have multiple shitty phones
>Find out cousin does in fact threaten to go Columbine on their asses
Fast forward a week
>Was kept home so I wouldn't tell anyone everything
>Be at Walmart with cousin
>We're in gun isle
>Snapchat pic of him in gun isle with back to school shopping
>Dumb cunt screenshots and calls cops
>Cops contact me and expel me
>Mfw a picture off school grounds gets me expelled

>>727265072
yes you fucktwat

>>727265072
cont

>>727265337
what the fuck did you think would happen retard

>>727265755
It wasn't on school grounds
Phone wasn't schools property
It was a fucking picture
Explain how it's expulsion material?

continue dude

>>727266015
you joked about bringing a gun to a school? joke or not and on school grounds or not any school would of done the same

>>727266149
No I didn't you read it wrong autismo
I took a Snapchat of my cousin while we were in the gun isle. Which also has bb guns? No expulsion hearing. Just expulsion.

>>727266149
Same guy here, but how are people gonna be allowed to put school shooting memes way worse than what I did on Instagram and be allowed in school for fucks sake a suspension is too far even but I mean they went for expulsion

>>727265337
tldr; autistic spaghetti tier edgelord gets expelled for obvious reasons.

>>727266634
Chill bro, it's just a prank

>>727266347
>>727266499
You have to be 18 or older to post here. Also, if you have this hard of time understanding why you got expelled, good luck in the real world.

>>727266787
That's what Osama said.

>>727266865
I am 18 sperglord nice try tho

yo when is OP gonna update story. takin too fuckin long

>>727265072
No I dont wanna read the rest.

>>727266924
I'll suck the jizz out of your cock like a dirty chupacabra spick in your sleep.

>be me
>be at house party in college
>socially awkward
>party sluts everywhere
>all the myths you hear aren't really true
>no jocks
>Alcohol loosens my lips and i talk a lot to everyone
>End up with a if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonight

I hope my mom dies

>>727263000
>walnut
?

>>727267098
Fucking shit

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Bump

>>727267184
I'm sure she feels the same way about you

>>727266924
Then fucking act like it, child.

>>727267098
god damn it

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>be me
>be 17
>be at country club
>with my dog and homies
>planning to swim a little and then eat a snack
>sight potato tard
>approaching to my doggo
>tard starts petting my dog but instead he is slaping and pulling his ears
>my dogg is nice with people he doesnt know
>But this tard was going full retard
>tell caretaker to do his fucking job
>he could not care less and keep talking whit a guy
>suddenly doggo bite his hand
>tard jump backwards and almost fall
>see hand
>covered with bruises, few blood and 2 small holes
>tard starts to cry
>says: that pony bit me
>dyinginside.jpg
>caretaker approaches
>see hand and is not big deal
>Caretaker says "what did that thing do to my little tard?!"
>me "what can i say, my dog likes potatos"
>mfw dog poop seconds later
>mfw i got kicked out and our later
>mfw i got banned six months

>>727267831
>Calls me child
>either your around my age and trying to be cool or your 40 and on b
>either way it's pretty bad

>>727268219
If this happened recently enough that you are on here crying about it, no. I'm not around your age.

>>727267098
Fuck you, she's an angel

And just like that the original green text is gone.

>>727267567
I don't know my mommy

Bump for stories. Not cancer.

>>727268993
>. Not canc
Wrong fucking board for that m8

I hope this thread isn't dead

>>727269262
A lot of niggers are dead.

Bump for op

>>727265072
Come on continue op

>>727269489
Is the jewish donut whacking him off

>>727269525
No clue

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>>727269674
OP never delivers

>>727269800
Op is a faggit

>>727267098
Cant risk

>>727265072
Continue fag

>>727267098
>
cunt

>>727267098
hahhaha

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>>727263000
how on earth did these ridiculous "would you do X for Y amount of money" facebook-tier nigger memes go from asking if i'd squish a yapping puppy for 2 Billion to the other end of the spectrum asking if i'd accepting being a permanently disabled amputee for a mere Thomas Jefferson??????

like what the fuck is up with these tricky niggers and their bait and switch tactics???

>>727263000
Hate retards who don't know where to put the dollar sign, it's always before the numbers, not after.

>>727265072
You sound like a major cunt to be around.

>>727270814

Hate retards who don't use the metric system.

>>727265072
RIEEEEE FUCKING CONTINUE FAG!

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>>727267098

>>727271121
This.

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>>727271121
>Metric system
>Good

>>727271121
>>727271294
Samefag

>>727270750

N I C E F E E T
I
C
E
F
E
E
T

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>>727271348
It is better than your shit.

>>727267098
Fucc awf mayt.

>>727267098
i'll bite

continue of OP POST >>727265072

>I sit there kind of quiet and she walks up to me while I'm sitting on edge of bed
>asks if she looks ok in her clothes
>say they look nice
>she looks at me and smiles a tad
>instant boner
>then she says "wait a sec, let me change my shirt into something else" in a voice like trying to be sexy
>imokwiththis_dvdrip.avi.exe
>jokes with me that i better not look
>starts taking her shirt off but looks over her shoulder while she removes it slowly and sees im trying my hardest to sneak a peek
>smiles slyly at me again
>after she takes shirt off she asks me If i can help unhook her bra because she wants to change that aswell
>go over and fumble with it and have trouble
>finallly get it off then she grabs it and i'm still standing behind her
>turns around with her boobs in hand, but still poking her chest out trying to be flirty
>then says "wait, can you do something else for me?"
>I'm sitting there ready knowing whats next
>takes her hands off boobs then looks at me again
>then she says: "I need about tree fiddy"
>it was at this moment I knew this wasn't no average high school girl that had been friends with my little sister but was a 210 foot tall monster from the paleozic era
>damn loch ness monster tricked me again

>>727271348
The metric system is better then the imperial. It's so shit that the Japs were nuked for being Imperials

>>727271928
8/10

>>727271928
fucking what

Op your a faggit... I mean literally
Go kill yourself

opwrotethingslikethisalot
(Op wrote things like this a lot)

>>727272727

>>727271928
7/10 wasn't expecting it

>>727263000
>>be me
>>be at house party in college
>>socially awkward
>>party sluts everywhere
>>all the myths you hear aren't really true
>>no jocks
>>Alcohol loosens my lips and i talk a lot to everyone
>>End up with a if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonight
>>727267098
>>727267098
nibba

>>727267098
SAFE

>>727272741
>gslikethisalot
>(Op wrote thin
Nice trap

>>727265337
copy pasted

>>727272956
Not a trap unfortunately :( image search it if you need proof of not trap.

>>727271928
RREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>727272908
>>727267098
>>>be me
>>>be at house party in college
>>>socially awkward
>>>party sluts everywhere
>>>all the myths you hear aren't really true
>>>no jocks
>>>Alcohol loosens my lips and i talk a lot to everyone
>>>End up with a if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonight

>>727267098
Fuck

>>727273239
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>727273239
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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OC cunts

>be me late 20's
>trying hard to score 19 year old in bar
>qt, piercings and tats but half hearted shit, probably a cutter, daddy issues, not hardcore
>Audioslave comes on
>we dig
>she says 'hey this sounds alot like that Rage band'
>I turn to her with the knowledge of a thousand suns, the wisdom of ten hundred fedoras perched magically upon my golden head
>'yeah, it's the Rage Against The Machine band with the singer from that awesome 90's grunge band Seinfeld'
>mfw

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>>727273239
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>be me
>17
>highschhool
>sister's boyfriend is a drug dealer
>pretty cool guy
>try to convince me to sell weed to fags
>its free money so whatever
>start selling weed
>get a nice cut of money
>Start getting in with the druggie crowd
>meet qt3.14
>typical punk look
>purple highlight in hair with a beanie always
>I never actually smoke the weed
>hang out with her and friends
>smoke a few bowls to impress her
>all the other normies are flipping their shit in the corner
>her and I talking
>heyoureprettygood.wmv
>start texting her a lot
>she asks me if I want to go out sometime
>ohfuckyea.gif
cont.

A bit too tryhard and too much random pointless fluff, but not total dogshit.

4.5/10

>best friend and I 13 years old
>Internet is fairly new, porn takes a good minute to load one image
>awkwardly look at porn together with painful bones
>watch vhs porn during sleepover and jack it on oposited sides of the room
>jack off together in a newspaper recycling dumpster
>playing devil may cry one day, start wrestling and end up humping each other
>this becomes a common thing
>start doing it in boxers, grinding til we cum on each other's backs
>get bored and record it one time with oldschool vhs video camera
>friend dies in a car wreck a few years later
>mfw there's a tape of us Cumming on each other out there somewhere

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>>727273239
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEee........hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

727273311
727272908
727267098
>>>>be me
>>>>be at house party in college
>>>>socially awkward
>>>>party sluts everywhere
>>>>all the myths you hear aren't really true
>>>>no jocks
>>>>Alcohol loosens my lips and i talk a lot to everyone
>>>>End up with a if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonig

>>727267098
Fucking exploding anal cavity

>>727273517
>go out to a park for lunch
>gay as fuck
>we sit on a chair and she climaxes look at the ducks
>put my hand on her knee
>she looks at me
>kiss
>ohshityeaboy.mp3
>after this we start seeing eachother a lot more than we used to
>make this shit official
>one day she asks if I can get coke
>sarcastically reply from a vending machine
I'm so fucking funny
>playfully slaps me
>"no you dickhead, like cocaine"
>ask sister's shitty boyfriend
>"yea man just careful its hard when you first do it"
I'm not a fucking pussy
>go to gf's house
>father walked out on her when she was like 5
>mother is always drunk
>fuck here a lot because I have functional parents at my house
>go to her room
>mum is passed out on the couch as I walk up
> open shitty little baggy
>pour it onto her desk
>divide it up into lines like you see in the movies
>No idea what I'm fucking doing
>she takes first hit
>up her nose
>tries to get me to
>sure why not
cont.

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>>727273239
RREEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>727274043
Lurking

>>727267098
ahhhh sheet dog

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Thought this was gold from another thread.

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> used to be a real shithead
>clean up my act, have a good job
>popular, make lots of friends
>meet qt gf, Christian farm girl
>finally get her to have sex
>we've been fucking for 4 months
>realize I don't really care about any of this shit
>no happier, just more responsibility
> mfw my only ambition in life is to get high, fuck, and listen to music

>>727274043
>takes about 5 minutes to kick in
>holy shit this is good
>have cocaine sex
>best sex
>after a few months we start doing coke a lot more
>start dealing cocaine a lot more
>dont even have a fucking job
>coke is good money
> go with sister's now ex boyfriend to pick up some coke from his guy
>some shitty apartment in ghetto area
>complete shit hole
>we walk up to the door and knock
>takes like a fucking hour for the guy to answer
> he opens and he's obviously cooked out of his mind
>walk into the apartment
>holy shit the worst smell I've ever smelt
>smells like a mixture of a rotting possum and that weird kid at school that didn't shower
>just get the shit and run out
>still in school
>final year
>deal to this douchebag jock with rich parents
>rip him off because rich and cunt
>few days later we have a general assembly
>principal that's never here gets up on the stage
>shit must have gone down
>"Hello everyone I would just like to address the issue of one of our students being involved in a drug related accident"
>oh fuck
>"in this time we just need to be supportive of the family and remember the consequences of drugs"
>all the kids know its me
>I'm the only one who can get coke
cont.

>>727272908
wow so original

>>727274611
I know that feeling. Married for a year now. Drugs are easier and make you happier.

Hoping it will pass.

>>727274611
literally what all of us want

>>727274625
>started to not show up for class
>too scared to go incase someone finds out it was me
>Gf is worried
>tell me no one knows
>bullshit whore
>stop going to school entirely
>just stay home and lurk leddit
>bedroom is right next to front door
>always look out my room paranoid
>hear a knock on the door
>dont even look out the window just jumped behind my bed
>"anon its me I'm worried about you"
>its gf
>oh fuck that was scary
>she comes in and we talk for a few hours
>stays over the night
>no sex just cuddling
>she starts coming over every couple of days
>start to feel less paranoid
>dont even jump when I hear a knock on the door
> hear knocking on the door
>run outside my room to open it
>hear "Police!"
>oh fuck
>"open the door"
>turn around to run
>mum asks me what run
>police bust down door
>"get on the floor"
>everybody do the dinosaur.

>>727275031
Every fucking time

>>727272908
Original

>>727274597
Not gold, just awful

>>727275031
>>727273311
>>727267098
>>727272908

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>>727275031
>>727275177

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>>727275031

>>727275031
Okay cunt

>>727267098
pls no

>>727275031
you nigger

>>727267098
Repl

>>727267098
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>727267098
Gay ass copy pasta

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>>727275031
>whats run
k

>>727267098
Asshole

>>727267098

>>727271928
not original OP, ya faggot

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>be me
>be 15
>It's midnight
>Walking in the forest with these 2 girls I like
>They really nice
>Try to fight over me
>Argue bout how they gonna give me the best blowjobs
>Cantfuckingwait.jpg
>We carry on walking
>Come across an old bench and wharf
>Perfect for a bj Anon
>Fuck yeah
>Sit on bench
>Pull my pants off to my ankles
>Take off my Spiderman boxers
>Bench is cold af
>Dick is already firm
>1st girl gets on her knees
>Hard as diamonds
>She starts going at it
>Feelsgoodman.gif
>About to jizz all over my Spidey boxers
>Don't want to cuz mummy will take away my good boy points
>Good rite Anon?
>Meh
>I gave her a mint and sent her home
>2nd girl comes over
>Recovering from my first bj
>3 mins later
>Diamonds and she gets on her knees
>Starts sucking
>Craves cock more than a Jew on a penny hunt
>She makes eye contact
>Slows down
>Says 'anon'
>What?
>There something missing
>What do you need?
>'I need about tree fiddy'
>And that's when I realised I was staring into 2 giant green eyes
>That god damn loch Ness monster was sucking my now bloody dick

Never talked to the 1st girl again.

>>727263000
Fucking hate the posts that end with

>uh...continue????? XD

Fuck.

Off.

Finish your story quickly you piece of shit. Your life is not as interesting as you think.

>>727265072
your autistic descriptions make me sad

>>727272116
nuked by the people who used that very system

>>727278142
Did you gib tree fiddy

>>727267098
k

>>727274597
This is pretty A confederacy of dunces

>>727267098
wait so this story is fake ???

>>727273491
Underrated post.
Oh god my sides.

>>727263000
Post a pic of the girl faggot

>>727263000
No do not continue
Nobody here wants to know how much of a hidden goddess she was
Nobody here wants to read about hos soft and plump her perfect teardrop breasts were
Nobody wants to know how sexually responsive she was or how smooth her perfectly shaved or waxed vagina was
Nobody wants to know how sweet she smelled and tasted or how her soft erotic moans drove you into a sexual frienzy as you pumped ypur rigid erect cock into her tight yet soft velvety silky creamy wet vagina that smelled like wildflowers and tasted like strawberries.
Nobody cares to know how well her perfect bodily proportions fit perfecly within your arms encircled around her as the two of you made passionate perfect love like a lock and a key which were perfectly crafted for eachother by the hands of God.
Nobodybcares anon.
So fuck off with your "continue?" bullshit.
Everybody here knows you are just making this all up on the fly.

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>>727267556
I am amaze. How do you make a photo without using your hands on the fucking toilet.

>>727271928
thanks OP, fucking stupid but I still laughed

>>727267098
Fuck

>>727267281
Annoying cunt/fucking idiot

>>727267098
wwoooee

>be 14 me
>vacation at the middle of the boondocks
>with granny's never ending mash potatoes
>alongside granpa's pitchforks
>fresh from the city
>get a lot of attention from corn silk hair girls
>8/10's mostly
>gets horny, wants to fuck one
>unable to do so since im a betafag
>thinks of strategies
>notices something odd
>19 year old mentally retarded girl
>acts like a 12 year old
>2nd brain takes over
>grandparents left the home to me
>executes plan
>search for the retarded girl
>spots playing with sticks underneath a tree
>somewhat retarded face yet a straight 8/10 body
>"Hey, wat cha doin there?"
>cringed internally
>"Playin with these sticks the look awesome!!!"
>"Oh how about we go play at my house we got a lot of even more awesome sticks."
>brings to house
>pulls out childhood toys
>play with her a little bit
>C breasts cups I assumed
>closed the curtains and locked the doors
>gropes her breast gently
>"What cha doin?"
>explains its for science and must kept secrecy
>fucks her weekly for a month
>then news explodes
>she got raped by another dude and got caught
>lucky its time to go back to the city
>escapes unnoticed

>>727267098
Fucking whore

>>727272908
Negro

>>727273601
wut

>>727275031
well FUCK

>>727267098
Kys

>>727271928
T-thanks OP.

>>727275031
You cheeky cunt

>>727267098
fucka you

>>727265337
Moral of the story
Edgy kids are the only ones that get cut