>Walk into your home >You find Taylor Swift standing

Nothing

>>727064525
Take that overly tall bitch and throw her ass out the window. She is very average-looking, I could give a fuck.

>>727064525
give her some eggs.

Call the police and have her arrested for breaking and entering

Call Justin Bieber over for a threesome, and also call Stephen Hawking over to be the sole audience.

Ask her for a small loan of 50 grand to start my new internet porn website then convince her to fuck on camera so it would be a success

>>727064525
throat fuck her so hard she never sings again

>>727064525
"does this smell like chloroform to you?"

>>727064525
Ask her to marry me

>>727064798
Only right answer so far

Convince her to fuck me also take pics and then post them on ere

>>727064525
Ask her to give me some money.

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Honestly? I'd try to hook up with her and if she was down to fuck - Awesome. I have HUGE Taylor Swift fetish and fucking her would be a dream.

But if she turned me down - I'd rape her. Seriously. There's no way I'm alone in my own home and I'm not fucking that girl. No way.

If she tried to press charges I'd say it was consensual. She came into my home without permission and threw herself at me.

I'm not into rape other than as a fantasy, but having the opportunity with HER combined with a legit chance to get away with it? I'd do it.

>>727065856
so you think anyone would believe you, if you say that Taylor Swift randomly came to your house?

Ignore her, pretend to read the news paper, " oh no, Taylor Swift died.... Honey, Taylor Swift died, says in the paper". Knock, Konck - Let Bruce Willis in, etc.

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>>727064753
>overly tall
Kek you must be a manlet. Tall women = best women

>>727065856

I'm just saying that I'd roll the dice.

>>727065856
This

Taylor Swift is in your home and she doesn't wanna have sex with you.

What are you gonna do? NOT rape her?

That's no solution

>>727064525
Fall to the floor and sniff her feet

I'd tell her that she should learn to make decent music then Falcon Punch her right in the cooter

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>>727064946 /thread. She's as close to perfect as it gets

Rape.

I would literally rape her over and over again until people came into my house and physically stopped me.

ask her if I can see her penis.

I would beat her until the dishes were clean.

h-hi Taylor

show her my collection of memes which will hopefully end in sex

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>>727066696
>>727065856
She's pure, you sick fucks

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>>727064525
Show her my toys and my battlestation

>>727066954
Even better.

>>727065856
>combined with a legit chance to get away with it

This is the part where delusion set in.

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>>727064525
step 1

> heads: i knew you were trouble
> tails: shake it off
> flip coin
> force her to sing chosen song for the next couple of hours

>>727064525
All I'm gonna say is that when I'm done with her somebody gonna need to offer her a bowl of eggs.

>>727064525
[X] GENUFLECT

360 and walk away

Burn
Torture
Kill

Delete justice bikini section from my browsing history

>point my gun at her and call the cops
>press charges for breaking and entering, criminal trespass
>hire a publicist in LA and give them 10% of every speaking engagement and interview they can get me
>sue her for the mental distress caused by paparazzi following me and my family
>retire

>>727064839
This

>>727067540
pretty good

>>727064525
shake the money out of her

Surgically remove both of her arms just above the elbows and then make her walk around my house wearing nothing but high heels

Make sure she leaves with a cat

>>727067660
or even better, surgically remove both her arms and her legs but reattach them so she can't use them but they are still there. Then remove her voicebox and teeth.

>>727066696
Laughed hard

Ask if she wants some coffee or tea.

>>727064525
Get on my knees and worship her beautiful Aryan Princess feet.

>>727064525
>Mistake her for a coat rack
>Throw fedora at her
>Miss

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>>727067228
step 2

>>727067225
Taylor Swift randomly fucking a guy then regretting it and screaming rape is a shot at reasonable doubt.

Are you familiar with the American justice system? All you need is ONE juror that says "Nope" because he knows women are lying bitches.

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>>727067994
step 3

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>>727068207
step 4

>>727067785
nope. That isn't better.

>>727067660
This, but I would make her blind, too.

Force her to walk around in high heels but not be able to use her arms to feel wear she's going

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I would let her piss on me

>>727068117
You're delusional if you think any jury would set aside her celebrity.

>she could get any guy she wants, why would she break into a house to fuck some unknown loser?

>>727068559
Mmmmm yummy

i wud lock door swallow the key

>>727064525
you got my letters and vials of sperm? youre pregnant that's great! you want child support? shit.

>>727068117
>is a shot at reasonable doubt.

Jesus. This is delusion.

>>727068581
Two tihings

1) You're ignoring the part where I said I had a "chance" to get away with it. Never said It was certain that I'd walk.

2) You're the one that's delusional if you think that in a 12 person jury there's NO CHANCE at least one of them doesn't have reasonable doubt or at least want to fuck over a pretty young entitled millionaire celebrity.

>For chrissakes man, in this scenario she actually DID randomly show up in some random losers house remember?

>Walk into your home
>You find Taylor Swift standing there

>>727070012
There is a chance that you might get struck by lightning today, too.

Good luck with that.

>>727070012
I think that in a 12 person jury, there is NO CHANCE at least one of them would believe that Taylor Swift wanted to have sex with a b/tard.

>>727064525
>Say hi
>Awkwardly fake fandom
>Suggest dinner
>show her to kitchen

>>727070180
Seriously?

You're equating the chance of acquittal for rape in a country where only 6 out of every 1000 rape charges lead to conviction...

To the chance of getting struck by lightning, where the odds are 1 in 960,000 a YEAR

I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and say you've been trolling me because the alternative is you're an idiot

Either way I'm done

>>727071253
You really are delusional. You are not sane.

Seek therapy.

>>727071253
Again, you're tossing out her celebrity as if it doesn't exist when you do your math.

>>727064525
break her neck before she could break my heart and make a song about it

>>727070279
All he needs is one guy on the jury to boner when he tells his version of the story. He'll let him off for fucking her no matter what really happened.

I would

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>>727064525
Lick her legs

Tell her I have no need for a beard

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>>727066644
Disgusting arms. Generally speaking the only asset this chick has are her long legs, which are completely wasted by her actual muscular status.

She's pathetic.

>>727064525

First I would tear off her clothes like a roid-rage Hulk Hogan.

Then, I would slap her small titties until she screamed and they were burning red.

After that, I would punch her in the gut to knock the wind out of her, throw her to the floor, and take a huge, steaming shit right on her nipples.

I would wipe my ass with her hair and force her to lick my anus clean. Then I would stick a popsicle up her ass while fucking and inseminating her cunt.

Once I was finished, I would cauterize her pussy shut with a cattle brand in the shape of a giant dick.

Then I would decapitate her and eat her head.

raep

>>727071561
>bad skin
>deformed knees
>down syndrome
>sagging tits nearly touch her belly button

>>727071540
>he
Still won't let it go.

>>727071540
obvious samefag

>>727064753
o god i dream of tall women, fucking hate looking like child molester when i date

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Say " oh fuck are you doing to catch a Predator now?!"

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>>727071540
>when he tells his version of the story
So, your plan of defense in a fictitious rape trial is to take the stand and tell the jury about how Taylor Swift wanted to have sex with you. You.

And you think there is even the slightest chance that would work.

>>727066795
underrated

>>727064753
bait / retard, cant tell.

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>>727064525
Open fire on her for violating the NAP by trespassing on my property.

>>727066954
>taylor swift
>pure
Pick one faggot.

>>727071561
She should have worn a pushup bra for this photo shoot.

ask her can I worship her feet

Oh hi, excuse the dildos.

>>727064525
Ask her how many rimjobs she had to give to become famous

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lock all of the exits then all of the above.

Nah, i would first ask her to make some coffee, i like coffee, then i would lock the exits an----

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>>727064525
cook her some eggs

Tell her I'm already chasing her clone.

>>727064525
Kill it with fire

Tell her the obvious

>>727064525
sex her

>>727073423
>YOU MUST EAT ALL THE EGGS

>>727064525

Ask her why the fuck she's clothed, and where the fuck my sammich is.

>>727073423
what a waste of time

>>727064525
Throw apples at her

>>727072349
Fuck off newfag

i would ask her to poop in her own pants and then fuck her shitty asshole

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>>727064525
>Wat do???

fuck her mouth hard and deep until I cum straight down her throat

twice

whether she likes it or not

>>727064753
>overlly tall
>5'10

What kind of manlet are you?

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>>727064753
>She is very average-looking, I could give a fuck.

"still not gay"

I'd use her crotch as a facecloth and rub it in my face til there's no face left.

Make her sing Katy perry songs and keep telling her she was great in twilight

>>727064753
>She is very average-looking, I could give a fuck.

anon, I gotta tell you - you are faggot.

I hate her. I hate her pop personality. I hate her celebrity. I hate her music. I hate her videos. I hate everything about her.

>but even I admit she is fine.

you gay anon. you gay.

>>727071591

The only asset?

When she came on the scene, she couldn't carry a note in a bucket.

Now she's a multi-bajillionaire, platinum-record-having recording artist.

Who writes her own songs.

>pathetic

The fuck are you doing with your life, son?

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>>727064895

this is the only answer

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>>727066954
>She's pure,

>>727073423
>autism

>>727067660

that's rather specific.

sure you don't want to remove all appendages and replace with eyehole screws so you can chain her up whenever/wherever you want?

I think you're supposed to blind them too. Remove voice box. Insert feeding tube.

>or so a friend told me

>>727074229
>you are faggot

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>>727071591
Her arms are so veiny...

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>>727068207

step 3 is incorrect. got to get that cock all the way down her throat. ignore/enjoy andy gagging spitting and spewing that occurs.

>>727064525
I knew she was trouble when she walked in

>>727071629

just like you've done before, right?

>>727064525
As for a refund!

>>727074088

dubs of truth

>lucky 8s

Nothing, anything I do would fuel another shitty album from her

>>727075020
*Ask

>>727064525
Suggest, to have a cup of coffee...

>>727064525
check if she has a belly button

>>727074830
>I've never even spoken to a woman

>>727074111
She is not very attractive. Really

Ask her if she knows Taylor Swift

>>727074111
5'4 is the average height of a woman. When they get into 5'10 territory, I think they start growing thick facial hair.

Ask her what she's doing in my house, offer her lunch and/or dinner, and discuss music. Switch the subject to boyfriends, crack a few jokes about getting a song written about the experience, and try to get laid and/or become her boyfriend. Subsequently move in for a few months with her and live rich and famously and propose. Have a couple of cute kids for the media to worship, and pursue a film career due to newly acquired connections.

Optional: Divorce her and keep the kids, give her a song to write about to skyrocket her career to new heights, and keep in touch secretly, living life as a B-List Actor.

>>727074462
lol. So, she's 70.

>>727075738
Then she's not ''overly tall'', just tall, and that's way better than the average height

>>727076216
That's half a foot taller than average. That's the equivalent of a 6'4 dude.

>>727064525
sit down and discuss kanye over dinner until she tries changing the subject..proceed to bill cosby her to my bed derobe her and wash her clothing so they smell fresh meanwhile she is passed out and beyonce is playing in the back, once the laundry is done dress her and return her to her last conscious position at the dinner table and wait until she lifts her face off the table then continue talking about kanye mid-sentence and see if she notices her fresh clothes smell and the ball gag in her mouth and her hands tied to the chair

>>727076479
funny you mention it, i'm 6'4

>>727064525
I'd ask her how many of these silly threads she was responsible for. Offer her a drink and one of my laptops so we could continue to troll you dumbasses.

>>727076866


Then what?