Worst sexual experiences thread. Greentext them. >met a girl

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>>726999448
dat en dare loves the doo doo man

>>726999448
Sounds delicious. I would have shoved my face into her fartbox and slurped that gooey shit out of her leaking asshole : ^ )

real mens loves the shit

>>726999997
almost sexes holy shit

>>726999448
She was a guy and you have AIDs

>>726999448
Have you ever just looked at a hippopotamus and went what the f*** is this thing like how did Evolution make this hippos are crazy man!?!,.

>be me
>19 year old virgin
>failed highschool because my grades were bad
>grades were bad because I was depressed
>depressed because grades were bad
>eventually started adult school
>the teacher was really nice
>since I was depressed I never talked or did work
>came in during office hours and she talked mad shit about me
>sudden motivation to disrespect her by flirting
>she's actually into it
>howthefuckdoesthisworldwork.jpg
>after 5 months of a weekly nightschool course of flirting with her and being casual friends
>exam day
>everyone leaves 1 hour after the 3 hour exam course
>obviously I work to be the last one to leave
>this spanish bitch is still here
>teacher walks up to me
>"I knew you two would be the last to leave"
>has a suggestive grin as I instantly get a boner, now it's just waiting
>I was too nervous to even say anything about it so I just talked about this joke she put on the exam
>"thanks for catching onto that"
>whoops, whatever, now it's just waiting
>this one spanish bitch took FOREVER to get her work done
>I felt this bitch knew exactly what she was doing
>after she leaves there's about half an hour left
>it was literally just an hour of waiting for this bitch to leave
>when she finally leaves I choke that I'm about to lose my virginity
>constantly trying to bring it up so it can happen but my teacher wouldn't stop talking so I kept going with it
>half an hour goes by
>class ends
>it's time to fucking leave
>she's clearly pissed at me
>my face was pure sadness because of how quickly she changed her mood and felt sorry
>ask if I'll ever see her again
>"I'll be back next year"
>are you lying?
>"no, I wouldn't lie to you"
>fake a smile so I at least don't look like a COMPLETE bitch
>"okay, bye"
>she still smiled when she said bye back so I can't tell if she was genuine
>go home eyes bawling because I spent half a year contemplating this shit
I'm on edge if she'll really come back because she has a boyfriend, gotta wait until February 2018 FUCK

>met a other guy in the woods at night (planned)
>tell him to fuck me in the ass bareback
>try not to shit, he hurry up and cums
>he pulls his pants up
>he noticed my dick possible and now he want to escape
>he starts running away back to his home
>it's at night so I can't really see but i got my night vision device with it i track him
>he gets his phone flashlight
>i´m blind, by the light
>smell hits me
>regain vision, see his dick covered in a thick layer of runny, thick, sludge-poo
>almost cum, lots of dry-heaves that almost got up
>he sacrifice his boxers
>i cum again as he wipe off his dickdick
>he sprint back to his house
>mfw he thinks the boxers are still in the woods somewhere
>i never talked to him again
>still i wear his boxers now

>>727001829
genuinely made me kekkle haha now I don't feel so bad about what happened to me

>>727002043
But you should, if you're the beta faggot from >>727001644

bump. I'd love to hear some stories

>be me
>best friend with benefits
>interested in another guy at the time
>the night before I was due to visit said friend, the guy admitted his feelings for me
>I told him I felt the same
>all was good
>night time at my friends house
>we're 'sleeping' and then we get all close and physical
>kissing touching etc.
>it feels weird but it continues
>starts to fuck me
>I'm wet but it hurt so fucking badly
>I tell him it hurts but I don't want him to stop so I tell him to continue
>just want to get him to cum so it will end
>I pretend to enjoy it til he cums
>immediately as he cums and pulls out I burst into tears
>feelsbadman
>cry and admit to him I'm in love with another guy
>bad time
>probably fucked him up for life
>a few months later I see my GP complaining about ongoing pain since the experience
>find out that experience gave me a vaginal muscular problem
>muscle spasms makes sex painful for me

Basically that stupid experience gave me chronic vaginal problems.

>>727002332
>not reading op post
>not reading post thats got reply
fucking fag le sumer is tehr damn ggoy

>>727002758
Did you have a stroke?

>>727002526
sounds like you are my ex..

>>727002332
everyone look at the jealous envy cunt

>>727002972
Does your name begin with a D or B?

>>727003210
nah :/ thanks for trying

>>727001829
hahahaha

>>727000236
I know they're like water blimps

>>726999448
> be at a party in Burbank
> unzip peñor
> shit on my duck

>>727003210
Yeah D. B. Cooper
guess you are my ex

>>726999448
that why you were a condom when you're buttfucking dumbass :3

>be me, mexican
>living in montreal, canada
>dating this qt girl from new york
>extremely kinky and into bdsm
>one day i brought some handcuffs
>was planning on taking her anal virginity
>i put her handcuffs and was eating her out
>blindly tried to penetrate
>she wasn't that wet, hear a crack
>look down, blood everywhere
>i panic, she panics
>i tore my fucking dick, broke the frenulum
>called the ambulance
>when they arrived bleeding stopped
>went anyways
>doctor just took a look at it, said "it will heal" and left
>no health insurance, so 700 fucking dollars
>had to go back walking to my house, because there were no more buses
>literally walking like 20 miles with a broken dick, feeling weak as fuck
>can't have sex for a month
>girl breaks up with me shortly after


shit fucked me up fam, I still get flashbacks and cringe, that was a year ago

>>727003923
tell us how you pulled it off?

>>727004592
;^)

>>727004750
faggot

>>727002526
Whore

Originally original commentity comment

>>727003923
>>727004750
anonymous catfishing

>>727004203
lmao

Did she have any part in the dick breaking or did you just badly insert it?

Im afraid shit like that will happen to me someday lol

Here's one

>8 months in relationship with another gf
>I was fucking around on her bed while watching Beautiful Mind
>I was fucking her missionary since she couldn't ride a dick or do doggy worth two shits
>Thrusting into her and notice she is completely ignoring me and she is watching the movie
>I keep going just to get a nut
She has seizures and they get triggered by lights and tramatic shit
>Scene where Gladiator almost lets his baby drown comes on
>shit.jpg
>She starts freaking out with me in her and she begins spasming and foaming at the mouth
>I begin to pull out but her pussy tightens up like 10 fold
>Get weirdly turned on and keep thrusting at full boner power
>She is clamped down on my dick with her stupid cunt while her arms spasming in a t rex like manner
>I get ready to cum and pull out and bust a nut on her chest and her neck while she is there foaming at the mouth and spasming
>I then straighten her out and try to get her back to reality cuddling her with cum on her neck and chest
>about 2 to 3 minutes later she is back
>She wonders why there was cum on her chest and on her neck
>Tell her that I pulled out right before I was about to cum to help with the seizure
>She cries in embarrassment that I witnessed her having a seizure during sex
>Rushes off to the shower to clean off

Woman is crazy. I loved her to death but she was the most slutty wild woman I've been with. I tried it again, I put on Heavy Metal the movie and she spasmed out again on my dick but instead of clamping down she loosen up and let out a giant fart.

Good times, married with a kid now.

>>726999999
get

>>727004203

> canada
> no health insurance

pick one

>>727005220
Fucking canadians man. Eh?

>>726999448
>decide try doing two of my daughters at once
>bad time
>too much going on
>can't focus on anything
Would not try again.

>>727004994
aww.

I wish I had a gf with retarded flaws and a cute behaviour to build a life with.

>>727001829
Kek

>>727004973

well she wasn't that wet, but it was partially my fault

she was awesome too, i always think about it, if i would've taken my time then i would probably still be with her and would've take her anal virginity

>>727005220
I though i was invincible so i actually never filled my paperwork to get it, i got it afterwards

>>727005313
Correction, married to another man with a kid.

I broke it off with her. She cheated on me and gave me the clap. I asked her how she got it? She didn't know. I knew it was because her lazy ass sat at home and did nothing while I worked. Well I kept her thinking she was as good as it would get. Well eating at a chinese buffet she was eating some wontons and noticed they had fake crab meat and paused all dramatically and dropped it on the palte and said "Hun! I know how I got the clap!"

I looked at her and said, from sleeping with other men? Then she looked at me dead in the eyes and said "It's the crab meat!!"

I went quiet, drove her home, got my shit out of her place and went home.

>>727004203
Clearly not true. Free health care for all faggot. It wouldn't cost you 2 cents, let alone 700 bucks

Well I was a few beers in and fucked my sleeping ex. Thought it was okay cause she'd been okay with it before but uh, wasn't okay that time. And she told her friends, one of which was a coworker so I can't go back to that work place anymore

>>727006023
you have to go to the fucking place and get it you fucking retard, if you don't apply for it you don't have it

and it's not even free for all in quebec, you have to have a social insurance number too

>>727005955
Fcking kek.

I love seeing women desperatly trying to play the "I hope he blows at Biology" card saying nonsensical shit like that

>>726999448
>>decide try doing two of my daughters at once
>>bad time
>>too much going on
>>can't focus on anything
>Would not try again.
You obviously didn't try hard enough.

>>727005955
cool story, anon

>>727006033
>fucked my sleeping ex. Thought it was okay cause she'd been okay with it before

She was your ex. You totally raped her.

>>727004203
something similar happened to me
>Be me.
>Flight attendant
>Go to puerto rico for 2 weeks
>Free Open bar every day at 5, at the hotel
>Drunk asf
>Random girl asks me for cig
>Start convo agree to meet at the elevator at midnight
>Meet
>Go up to my room kissing ect ect
>Start fucking her
>Dick breaks , Frenulum
>Blood everywhere
>She Thought it was her period
>Kept fucking, blood everywhere
>Hotel room looked like a murder had taken place
>Next day walk past my room as they changed the matress and cleaned all the shit.
>no fuck given.

>>727006957
We had been kissing and cuddling still, I didn't know

>>727001644
You see.. your kind needs to die out... it's ok Anon...

>>727002526
Im sure thats a problem in your head with your nerves. Try it out while high once; i feel like itll stop the spasming.

>>727002526
If i was him I'd jack off about this for the rest of my life. If only he knew how much it hurt...

>>726999448
bareback with stranger in the woods hey. Welcome to HIV

>>727006430
Yeah she was crazy.

Still I miss those tits she has some H cups on her, no ass at all, looks caved in on a side profile.

Still I have many stories. She used to want to be the center of attention. She used to claim people stalked her and she made up an entire story of a black truck following her around campus.

More and more I think about it she might have meant black dick. Still she was the campus whore and was desperate enough to try and make her a housewife.

>>727002526
Tits or gtfo

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>>726999448
Number one:
>preparing to go down on dwarf hamplanet (don't ask)
>almost vomit from dat smell of the skipper's catch and piss
>look down and see pea-size bits of toilet paper lodged everywhere in the axe wound
>died a little inside

Number two:
>was married to a roly poly (don't ask)
>she liked being fragged in the bunghole
>would poop all over my dick all the time with no shame
>she would then go poop in the toilet with the door open
>gradually my soul withered away

Number three:
>tried to start family with wife but no luck
>went in for fertility treatment
>doc makes me blow wad into cup at home and deliver to clinic a few times
>wife offers to "help"
>she is on all fours
>ohboy.gif
>look down, see dingleberry the size of a large peanut clinging to her bunghole
>don't have the heart to tell her
>don't know what to do so just try to get it over with
>three-quarters of the way through "self-expression" the nugget falls off and lands on the bed
>i soldier through it, trying to assuage disgust and think about something else
>after all that, mission failed, no babbies

Learn from my mistakes anons.

>>726999892
/b/ full of normal people.

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>be guys boxers
>guy showers
>smellingood.gif
>pants go on over me
>Dude has a boner
>dark.jpeg
>suddenly brighter
>see pimply dude ass
>balls sagging low
>my dude starts fucking this guy's asshole
>mfw when shit starts splattering on me
>:feelsbadman:
>the shit smell must have turned on my dude because he starts pounding more shit out of this guy's hole
>nuts
>see a bright light
>takes me off
>covered In shit
>shit dude takes me to house
>jerks off into me while sniffing his own socks

>be me
>16 and in first serious relationship with qt gf
>both virgins when we first got together but fuck every time we saw each other (about 4 or 5 days a week)
>fuck literally anywhere we can, my car, virtually every room in both our homes, ect
>6 months of this, relationship is getting stale but still constantly fucking
>says she wants a break from sex, leave condoms at home
>go to her house, changes her mind and says she wants to fuck
>no condoms so she blows me and I eat her out
>says she wants me to try something
>pulls out a brush with a smooth, wide handle
>asks me to fuck her with it
>she is laid out completely naked on her bed while I fuck her with the brush handle
>her mom unexpectedly comes home early, opens her bedroom door and sees us
>readytobekilled.jpg
>mom asks why we are using a brush handle
>have to explain to her mom the entire situation while both of us are completey naked
>her mom brings me one from her dad's supply, tells us to keep it down
>boner is completely ruined and she drys up worse than a desert
>break up 2 weeks later

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>>727001829
Fucking kek.

>>727005744
u r dumb

>>727008159
Jesus, and I thought my life sucked.

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>>727001829
This

>>727007748
Yeah I've been considering this too, but you know, the legality issue kind of makes that difficult. But next time I'm around any of my weed smoking buddies I might ask them to hook me up and try it out.

>>727007777
Quads, you're a real sadist.

Another one

>I was a virgin
>Fat hambeast I was dating found out
>Want to take my virginity
>I agree
>Slips on a condom
>Start putting it in her
>Get a few thrusts in
>Cum
>Tells me she wants me to go down on her
>ok.png
>get down south
>Smells awful something close to finding a dead mouse in a mousetrap or rotten meat
>Stick my tongue out and lick her flabby pussy lips
>Tastes like I just poured a teaspoon of salt on my tongue from her sweaty stinky vag
>Begin coughing
>She asks whats wrong?
>I try to soldier through and lick again, more salt
>end up coughing
>was sick with a bit of a cold and coughed out a bit of mucus on her pussy
>She says "good idea, I could always use a bit more lube down there"
>I get off the bed, tell her I'm sorry I have to pee
>Run to the bathroom and reconsider my life
>Come back and she is getting dressed
>A bit puzzled I ask why?
>She said it is gross for a guy to want to have sex after just peeing

>live in partystreet downtown
>walking home drunk and stoned af
>really fat and ugly finnish girl grab my arm and start walking along side me
>"hey can you fuck me? Ill let you do anything you want with me"
>nah, need sleep, go home
>"oh come on i live far away"
>im like whatever
>come home she instantly get on knees starting to suck me
>i concentrate to keep erection but glance down at her and get limp
>she keep sucking my limp dick, i tell her to stop nevermind, while i feel more and more immasculated
>start to get frustrated that i cant get hard and blame her in my mind
>keep trying to get hard so i can really fuck her hard
>cant, gives up, kicks her out
>thinking, "i can do anything i want to her", chase after her down the stairs
>tell her to lick my ass and while she lick my asshole i try to fist her
>she gets uncomfortable, me too
>we stop and i lock her out the building before i run back upstairs
Now feel like i abused her and feel bad. Also keep losing erection when having sex cause this episode haunts me

>>727009412
hypocritical bitch. i feel you anon

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>>727007777
Let me please check em

>>726999892
End your life

>Be me, 17 , virgin
>first gf shes not virgin
>she's alone at her house
>get in there, we watch some adam sandler shit movie in the tv
>laying on the couch, things go on
>we go to her room
>clothes off
>put on condom
>ready to smash
>get it in
>its in
>finally
>balding asian man in his late 40s comes out of nowhere
>shakes my hand and gives me my non virgin certification
>"conglatulations"
>we smile for the camera
>he fucks me
>i nut
good times

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>>727009622
>Also keep losing erection when having sex cause this episode haunts me
toppest kek. Godspeed you poor bastard.

>>727009622
>while she lick my asshole i try to fist her
that seems like a nearly impossible position to pull off

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>>726999448

Listen to my tale of woe.

>drunk friend passed out in my bed after we were talking
>decide im not going to sleep someplace else
>decided I was not going to go to bed with blueballs either
>start rubbing her pussy through her shorts
>start jacking off
>grope her tits, get a finger inside of her
>cum hard, but shoot up, get cum on my face and some in my mouth
>instinctively jerk had up to wipe off my face
>this wakes her up and she looks at me with my dick out looking exasperated
>she says "what are you doing?"
>I tell her "I just came in your mouth"
>no idea why I said this
>she gives me a real fucked up look, and stumbles to the living room
>calls a friend to pick her up
>never talked to me again

>>727004203
Pay for that wall you smelly greaseback

>>727009899
what part of worst don't you understand?

>>726999997
>>726999999

>>727009412
That's fucked up m9. At least you were not...

>choked and gagged by brambles of unkempt and soiled pubic hair that ran all the way up to her bellybutton
>pulling pieces of toilet paper out of your teeth

God what have I done.

>>726999448
serves you right you fucking disgusting hornball

>>727007643
I know, life's been nothing but pain.

my spirit is crushed and I'm not coming back

>>727001644
This isn't sexual faggot

>>727004994
wtf am i reading

>>727010183

get off your high horse you racist piece of shit, i went to canada because i got a scholarship and then i got offered an awesome job, well, because i'm better than most and definitely better than you. i bet you haven't done anything with your life.

i'm glad that orange monkey is fucking up your country, and if the wall is made, you idiots are going to pay for it with your taxes. apuesto a que no sabes otro idioma más que el inglés, típico estadounidense ignorante. continúa sufriendo en la oscuridad, perdedor.

>>727010694
should I have been more descriptive?

she wanted to fuck me in her class room on the last day and I choked, what isn't sexual about that?

>>727010307
adam sandler movie makes it the worsdt

>>726999812
Top KEK

>>727010183
i bet you got triggered because i was fucking an american girl LOL you probably can't even get a girl in your own country, (a cousin doesn't count) let alone from another

>>727010167
The self-shot.

A goddamned classic.

This is why I always aim for my own chest/try to cover my dicks head with something when fapping in unfavorable moments .

>>726999448
>I mean really, who tells you to fuck them in the ass when they know they have to shit?

We all know "she" was a man, you are not fooling anyone.

>>727010914
In the same way that if we were talking about criminal things we've done, you couldn't say "once I wanted to steal a Mars bar and one day I will."

>>726999812
TOP KEK

Once fucked a 2 month pregnant chick who wanted me to cum in her. She said, "It's not like I'm going to get pregnant again."

Long story short, don't stick your dick in crazy.

>>726999448
When you meet a stranger in the woods for sex, just be prepared to get shit on your dick...or murdered. Which ever comes first.

>>727010097
Not really? Imagine 69 position. Also i was like one feet taller than her

>>727011227
In what way possible is stealing comparable with lust?

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>>727011202
Kek

>>727008159
You sound like you continuously put yourself into these situations.

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>>726999448
>I mean really, who tells you to fuck them in the ass when they know they have to shit?
My ex-wife. I should have ended my life.

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>>727001644
Fucking shit, man you're pathetic!

>>727011557
Yes, I was an idiot cuck with feelings of inferiority. But I uncucked myself. Better late than never.

>be me, 14
>boyfriend is 16 year old bisexual
>he's the sweetest boy I've ever met, tells me how much he loves me, brings me flowers, draws me things and sneaks into my room late at night
>he's not a virgin, I am
>I often talk to him about my music teacher, who I absolutely adored at the time, and still do
>show him pictures, he thinks my teacher is cute
>the night comes, he sneaks into my room while my parents are out, catches me by surprise while I'm on the bed
>I'm into it
>he starts kissing my neck and I'm giggling like the child I am
>fast forward, he's inside me and about to cum
>he moans my teacher's name
>looks at me, eyes wide with shock and fear
>"w-wait, I'm sorry--"
>push him off me and run to the bathroom crying
We didn't talk much after that, and a couple years later he actually started dating my teacher.

>>727011714
can you at least tell me why??
I know but I can't stand insults alone, I NEED TO KNOW WHY I'M A FUCKING CUCK LOSER

>>727001829
Top fucking kek

>mfw he thinks the boxers are still in the woods somewhere

Oh fuck my sides

>>727011422
It isn't, that's not how the analogy works. We're talking about DOING something sexual, not THINKING about doing something sexual. Hence the analogy of thinking about doing something criminal doesn't count as criminal activity.

The alphabet has been moved over one letter.

>>727010167
Kek. Dude, she left and never spoke to you again because you fucking molested her.

>>726999448
>be me
>drunk fuck fat girl
>disgust
>block her
>take a shower.
>wonder how I got here
>fuck her mom to make her mad
>beat the shit out of little brother
>send rumor about her taking BBC
>backfires in good way
>gets raped by black men as she is now known as chubby cumbucket
>laugh as I see her beaten up with choco cum on face
>say to never talk to me again
>walk away satisfied

>>727011998
and in a sense, was there not a fraction of "doing"?

it's not like I imagined the entire scenario, it happened.

>>727010912
>triggered much ?

>>727012121
I'm sure this all happened.

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>>727012097
the thing is though, i didnt actually cum in HER mouth, I came in my own mouth. I never got the chance to tell her though, she just did not want to hear what I had to say

>>727012244
Id say it's exaggerated a bit at end, but close to what happened.

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>>726999448

https://youtu.be/oMC0EDOrWD0

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>>726999812
Read it in his voice lol

>>726999448
Were you guys neighbors or some shit? Sounds like you were just walking distance from your house. Why fuck in the woods instead of one of your houses? If she could have taken a shit, it might have saved you some pain and suffering op.

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>>726999448
>have sex with girlfriend
>continue having sex with gf almost everyday for 2 years
>start noticing all of her flaws
>dried blood from post period fuck one day
>get disgusted with her
>get disgusted with sex
>we break up
>sex drive is gone
>dont even get hard to porn anymore
>cant fix it

>>727004994
that's kinda cute
nice for you that it worked out anon

>be me, virgin
>meet girl on dating app
>she's dtf
>she rides bus to my part of town
>we meet up and walk to forest
>shit gets serious
>she starts stroking my cock
>sucks it while we're both sitting down
>gets on her knees and sucks while I stand and keep watch
>getting into it now, start thrusting her face
>kid about 10 comes out of no where by pushing his bike
>oh shit
>he doesn't say anything but he saw us
>i'm nervous now and can't cum but I still want to
>tell her to bend over, she does
>autisticly try to put my dick in her from behind
>can't no matter how hard I try
>she tells me to lay down and I do
>she squats over me and puts the tip of my dick in her
>I pull it out because I was uncomfortable and wanted to reposition
>see blood on my dick
>think my dick is bleeding
>realize she's on her period
>instant relief
>wipe blood off on random homeless persons blanket
> boner dies and we don't do anything else
>she walks back to the bus stop and I walk home

>>727012305
You still molested her

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>>727004994
The fart part got me

>>727012229
see
>>727011103

clearly

>>727010912

Less talking, more wall building, pedro.

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>>726999812

>>726999448

>Invite girl over
>She's on end of bed, Im going down on her
>Smell shit, familiar shit
>*Ohfuckthatsme*
>Remember I took a dump before she came over but never wiped because I was gonna take a shower
>Make sure it's me by touching my own asshole
>Comes up gooey
>Finger her with my shit covered hand
>She can clearly smell something is wrong
>I go take a shower, come back, she's still there somehow
>Fuck her pussy with my shit in it
>Cum inside her
>She's on the tail end of her rag
>Pussy literally filled with cum, shit and blood

Feelsgoodman.

>be 21
>have hooked up with a few ladies, always in my old apartment with some kind of light on
>get set up on blind date
>she wants to go to her place
>have some drinks, heavy flirting
>eventually make a move, she's cool, make out some more
>she turns off the lights so only TV is on and slides down on couch, pussy and ass is like immaculate
>give the cooter the old spit shine, tells me to eat her ass
>proceed to eat her ass, she's thrashing, tells me to fuck her
>fumble with rubber, she says she's on the pill, not sure if I should
>against better judgement, go to town fucking her
>tight as hell, kind of dry
>had been a while and nut way early....like SUPER early
>notice she's just staring at me
>look down, dick is stuck in her ass crack
>i fucked her asscrack/couch
>don't say anything, get up, get dressed, say I'm sorry and ask her if she wants a few bucks to get the suede fixed
>......................
>I'll see myself out

Thank god she never said anything to anybody. Hard being known as the "Couch Fucker" dude.

>>727012654
man, it really must affected you that a mexican came inside a united statian girl many times ;)

it's ok to be a virgin bro give it time, just ask your cousin LOL

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>>727008064
I'm sorry it turned out that way bro

>>727004843
Go on back to /r9k/ now. go on. git

>>727002526
That's what you get for being a fuckin whore. . Looks like you're gonna have to sell yourself from now on

>>727008727
I just lost it. Fuck my wf wants to know why I'm laughing my ass off. Way to go boxers.

>>726999448
Given enough time and age somehow this will become your favorite sexual experience. So much so every time you smell your wife take a dump youll get an erection.

>Be drinking over friends house
>Friends girlfriend invites some girls over
>There is a really hot 8/10 blonde in the bunch
> 5'6", green eyes, big tits, big ass, skinny though
>Being a non-autist I chat her up
>Play some drinking games with her, both of us get hammered drunk
>Tell her its time to find a room
>We go into the room and I unleash my 7.5"x6" cock.
>Start fucking her
>Shes really, really lose.
>Hot dog down a hallway in full effect
>She says "I though you said you had a big dick"
>Wtf bitch
>She says she can't come on a tiny dick
>She then says "All the black guys I fuck have bigger dicks, yours is tiny
>I got instantly limp at her saying she fucks black guys
>I become beta and say uhhh lets just stop and go back to the party
>Went back to the party like nothing happened, she eventually leaves to go meet up with Daquan.

It really sucked, I'm used to women commenting on how big I am and how good I am in bed, it was a shocker. She was the loosest I've ever fucked too. I did kind of get her back, I fucked her virgin 17 year old sister the very next week. Now she was among the tightest I've ever fucked, strange how two sisters were so different.

>>727012528
Welcome to the rest of your life, anon.

>>727012939
>>727001644(me)

I used to be from r9k, I liked to give advice to all the other losers so I could feel better about myself.

I'm gonna see myself back there, all life is interconnected and kindness to others is kindness to yourself in the past and present.

>>727012861

Not at all. Im very happy to not be a disgusting mexican.

>>727003210
Does the guy have two first names or some shit? How can his name begin with a D OR a B?

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>>727007777
Checked

>thread full of dumbasses not showering before sex
>thejapanesearerightabouthis.gif

>>727010855

Life, anon. This is life. Seizure sex is part of it.

>>727001829

>>727004203
walk 20 miles, what are you , a fuckin mexican

>>727009899
>good times
Fuck my life

>>726999448
>>727001829

This is the best laugh I've had on here in years

Thank you anon

>>727009385
Strawberry Cough is good for anxiety. I don't know if it's good for vagina spasms though.

>>726999448
Lucky bastard. I've been trying to get my girl to do this for years

>>727013180
instead you're a disgusting 'muricuck lol

man, get it now in your head: everybody fucking hates you, you fat pieces of shit are disgusting, illiterate and racist. stay the fuck away from our beaches.

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>>726999448
>>727001829
>>727008727

>>727004203
aw fuck anon. I know how you feel. I've had it happen to me twice and it's a fucking nightmare

>>727008159
Stop dating feminists who are into scat faggot

>>727010167
huh, you never talked to the girl you sexually assaulted?

>>727013924
ah well, sex battle scars my friend!

better having stories to to tell than being a virgin like the racist piece of shit above lol

>>727008159
Kek'd too hard at this

>>727004203

What the fuck is a Mexican doing in Canada?

>You gotta go back

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>dating girl back in high school
>little chub, but she slimmed down a ton
>lost all the weight in her tummy, kept her tits and hips
>she had a rape fetish, I thought it was kinda hot, so I went with it
>shes over one day, decide to surprise her
>throw her onto the bed, start tearing off clothes
>shes begging me to stop, my cock gets harder with each pleading
>she kicks her legs and screams, but I kept on going
>I knew she was going to be into it
>pull out my cock, ram it into her pussy
>it was kinda hard to get though, wasn't really wet
>brush it off and keep going
>shes crying really heavily now, full on sobbing
>"yeah, you like that, little slut?"
>she shakes her head
>pull out and say "This is the part where you start to like it, right?"
>she explains to me that she didn't want to have sex at all
>ohshit.jpg
>we never established a safe word
>she broke up with me a month later
>mfw I'm a rapist

>>727012560
lmao that sounds like a bad lsd dream

>>727014195
why are you pretending to be someone else, you're the same racist piece of shit following me around

yes i am mexican, yes i fucked an american girl, yes im way more successful than you, let it go man

i'm out, i hope your life is not as pathetic in the future, good luck

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>>727014252
If this is real, you got away with raping a girl
very nice

>>727013152
If people say time is a gift, what is inside the ｐ　ｒ　ｅ　ｓ　ｅ　ｎ　ｔ？？？

>>727010912
Yeah your countries anti hate speech laws are fucking you up though

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>be shit
>guy showers
>smellinbad.gif
>pants go on over my constricting apparatuses
>Dude has a boner
>dark.jpeg
>suddenly brighter
>see my home
>balls sagging low
>this other dude starts fucking my home
>mfw when im now living on some dudes dick
>:feelsbadman:
>the normal smell must have turned on other dude because he starts pounding more of my brothers out of my home
>nuts
>see a bright light
>dude takes boxers off
>all over these random underwears
>creator takes me back to house
>jerks off into me while sniffing his own socks

>>727004203

>No health insurance, so $700

Gotta love socialized health care.

>>727014542
>MUH SUCCESS
>I FUCKED AN AMERICAN TOP TIER SLUT
>i browse 4chan
>MUH MEXICAN CULTURE
>IM BETTER THAN YOU
>ARRIBA ARRIBA ANDALE ANDALE

>>727013110
if this is real, I feel bad for you man. Niggers are gross

>>727014542

>You're the same racist piece of shit
>Following me around

Fucking hell they make them stupid in Mexico

Go back across and pay for the wall on your way.

>>727015031
Dude leave the guy alone. Fuck outta here with that shit, im trying to read about bad sex stories

>>727015179

>Go home Mexico.

>>727015105
at least he ended up getting that tight virgin pussy

>>727013110
Nice roleplaying story bro.

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>be me 17 virgin hanging with 16 virgin gf
>she is small no tits nice little ass
>turn her on and have sex
>10/10 great sex
>everything was good we keep doing this on the regular
>Dad confronts me about a corner of a condom wrapper found in my sheets
>fuck.jpg
>my parents don't care so I don't tell gf
>fast forward 8 months
>my gf's mom found out because my mom accidentally said something to one of her friends
>mfw I haven't seen my gf's mom since
>mfw she is a super Christian
>mfw I'm going home for prom in 3 weeks and I will have to see her

>>727012753
Absolutely wretched. Well done anon

>fuck a chick on her period
need I say more?

>>727013152
This is way too enlightened for /b/. Say something degenterate or get out

>>726999448
Could be that the ass fucking loosened them up. If you fuck enough asses, accidents like that happen.

>>727015135

Wow you really have something against Mexicans don't you? Did Pedro fuck your mom or something? Shut the hell up I'm trying to read stories too, the other guy probably left you're talking to yourself now and it's quite sad.

Anyway, I don't have a story to tell... My ex girlfriend accused me of rape though, after a couple of months of being together. Bitches are crazy.

>>727014737
the present is your individual soul, if you open your mind and process that the universe is nothing more than a fourth dimensional dot, alongside infinity, then you'll see.

but it can be exhausting trying to live in harmony with the world.

>>727015280

How is this bad?

>>727015722

>Leave the Mexican alone bro
>For real, homie

You gotta go back.

>>727015757
I have avoided her mom like the plague, and her dad is literally a bodybuilder and also super christian. I'm terrified of my gf of over 2 years and her family.

>>727015280
bang her dad, become her mom, and then become her step-uncle. you got this, homie,

>>727012121
That's a nice fantasy there, anon.

>>727015830

Ok man.

>>727015830
kek

>>727011962
Ouch. Well damn

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>>727001829
shut this thread down, it doesnt get better than this

>>727002526
>Dumb slut with a broken pussy
>Blames man

>>727012755
My sides. Oh god

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>>727001829
WE GOT HIM

>>727015830

I'm not even Mexican... but I see now you're just a dumb American.

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>>727015830

>>727004994
>notice she is completely ignoring me and she is watching the movie
i had this happen before, but it was a garbage movie so i was kind of insulted (some no-name horror movie netflix had around 7 years ago)

here is my worst experience
>be on a 8 week dry spell
>get desperate and go on a fuck website (aff)
>actually pay for the site and message any slob within 30 miles of me
>some ogre replies, about 6'1", 220# with a face a mother couldn't love
>invite her over to my place
>make sure its after sunset so no neighbors see her
>she comes inside, awkwardly watch netflix
>finally get over my disgust and make a move
>making out and her breath is awful, like rotten meat
>take pants off, smell of the raunchy pussy envelopes the entire apartment
>look down, thighs are covered in razor cutter scars all the way around
>put a condom on, start fucking to try and get it over with
>condom fucking breaks, one of the most horrifying moments of my life
>get new condom, and finish as quick as possible
>she farts as she is putting her pants back on
>tell her i have to go to the library to study (completely made up being a student on the spot)
>walk her out and drive around the block
>go home, poor rubbing alcohol all over my dick
>shower until hot water runs out
>spray entire apartment with 2 cans of lysol
>go for drive rethinking life
>get home and show again

>>726999448
sounds like a good trick to me

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>>727016150

>>727016842
este pendejo cree que los mexicanos quieren vivir en su país jodido. les va a cargar la verga a todos ustedes jaja
tradúcelo, analfabeta de mierda

>>726999448

There's a helpful little thing called an enema. Fucking novices.

>>727012755
kek That shit is cash anon.

>>727017042
>analfabeta
Lol what

>>727012181
You didn't get laid you fucking moron

>>727017338
pinche retrasado, ponte a leer un libro mejor jaja

>>727017407
I hope you're not the same guy if you're still harping over it.

Sexual experience =/= direct sex

now kindly fuck off

>>727015031
Tired of you /pol/ fags trying to derail good threads.

>>727013832
Mexico is officially the most obese nation on earth there Pedro. Don't you have a lows or home Depot to stand in front of

>be me
>5 years ago junior in HS
>go to a hot spring with these 2 grils (Ive known one for a very long time and was invited because they felt bad for me I'm pretty sure)
>at hot spring and the one Im old friends with starts sitting on my lap
>Holyshit man
>start to get a little chub thankfully she's not sitting directly on my croch
>eventually we leave
>drop off that other gril
>she starts driving me to my home
>we pull over and start taking a little bit
I've been drinking a lot that night because I was super nervous FYI
>literally ask if I can finger her (I'm a khv)
>she says sure (slut)
I still have no idea to this day how the fuck she said yes I literally just asked like that
>she pulls down her pants and undies
>can't see shit be cuz it's dark as fuck out and the car is off
>*fingers slip in*
>start to finger bang her
>ask what you do when your fingering cuz I'm autustiv as fuck
>"usually make out"
>lean over and start to kiss I have no idea what the Fuck I'm doing
>make out for like a minute straight
>pull my face back and start fingering her really hard
>she organisms
>I pull out my fingers and then taste them
>"it tastes like fish"
WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT
>drive to my house and never talk about that night again
That was literally my first kiss and time ever being with a gir. I don't talk to her anymore.

>>726999448
>Am a trap
>Meet a guy on a sex website
>Agree to meet him at a mcdonalds nearby where I live
>Go to him still dressed in my boy clothes but brings a bag full of my girly clothes
>Get in his car
>He drives to a empty area where no one will see us
>Tells me "Put your girl clothes on fag"
>I feel embarrassed
>Start undressing
>Am naked about to put my girl clothes on
>He slaps me and says "Nevermind bitch I like you naked"
>He tells me to get in the backseat of his truck
>He flips me on my belly and starts licking my ass and my balls
>Worst feeling ever, Can feel his nasty beard hairs grinding against my body
>I am still a virgin and i'm 16 years old, He is probably over 30
>He starts sucking on my dick
>I cant get hard
>he keeps sucking on my limp dick for about 2min and I still can't get hard
>He slaps me in my face
>"Get hard slut"
>I still can't get hard
>he starts eating my ass again and trying to stroke me
>Still not hard
>I apologize
>He says its okay and he asks if I want to leave
>I tell him yes
>He drops me off somewhere and I walk back home with his slimy spit all over my cock, balls, and ass

Anyways.. this was the worst experience of my life. I wanted to suck his dick and be fucked by him but all he wanted to do was doing oral on me.. he never let me suck him, he never even took his dick out or got undressed.

>>727017989
Wrong.

http://www.telegraph(.)co.uk/travel/maps-and-graphics/the-most-obese-fattest-countries-in-the-world/

And it's Lowe's not lows you dumb fucking American.

>>727008159
sounds shitty

>>727018442
>>727018442
>i'm 16 years old

MODS

>>727018601
im 20 now. this was 4 years ago

>>727018601
Fuck ur dumb

>>727017989
este pendejo cree las mamadas que dice como el mismo trump, vete por un mcdonalds pinche gordo jajaja

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>Be me 20 post ad on Craigslist fat bitch replies 4/10 but horny as hell
>email a little
>decide to smoke at her place
> bring 8th
> smoke her up and takes off her panties and it stinks
>tells me not to mind she had a hormonal Imbalance.
>continue? Pic related

>>727018736
wat.

go on

>>727018736
imbalance from being a fat landwhale

>>726999892
Are you fucking retarded?

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Got a pretty sad story myself.
> Have two old brothers.
> Me 16 Next is 18 next is 19.
>Brothers invite me to big kid party
> Fuck Yeah BRO!
>Only had sex once before
> For most part every girls ignores me
>I maybe weighed 120 while both my bros are tower masses of testosterone.
>Fat bitch well known for being the town bike approaches
>I figure WTF lets go with it.
> Fuck fatty fat 13itch. Can't feel anything. No tread left on the tires.
>Switch to ass, not much better.
>Fake male orgasm
>Go back out to party
>Way home with both brothers I notice we all look ashamed.
>Tear up as I admit I fucked the fat ogre.
> Both bros eyes light up in shock and disgust
> Oldest "So did I...." Middle Bro "HOLY FUCK ME 2"
> Turns out we all fucked her that night.
>Top it off I was the last

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>>727018736
>>727018910
>So I start licking her pussy and it's the worst smell ever.
>decide to fuck her and get it over with
>fuck for two hours can't cum
>she sucks my balls while I jerk off and I cum on her tits
>she asks me to go down on her again
>I run out
>few days later BAM strepthroat
>????
>no profit

>>727018236
>she organisms
>organisms

>>727019450
nasty bro. why would you lick her pussy if it smells bad and she even admitted it smelled bad.. thats like licking a toilet

>>727019090
Sounds like a hell of a party.

>>727019630
too horny to care smh

>be me 16
>go to gfs house
>starts blowing me as soon as I get there
>move to kitchen
>hear her little sister's footsteps coming
>ohshit
>pull up pants and act natural
>eat spaghetti that I brought then we sneak upstairs to her room
>starts blowing me again
>want to stick it in
>take off her pants and she has a pad on with blood, smells a little bad
>"can I stick it in?"
>doesn't answer but don't want to get accused of rape so don't do it
>little sister coming upstairs
>move to restroom for more succ
>can't cum because I didn't know you're supposed to pull the foreskin back to feel anything
>"where's my cum?"
>eventually gets tired and I finish with my hand
>dump her because of long distance

>wife had just destroyed marriage
>be on 6 month dry spell
>decide to try online dating thing
>meet up with 4/10 girl and go on simple date
>back at her place make out petting
>she socks my cock like it's the most delicious thing ever. Fucking yeah
>pull off her jeans
>get literally punched in the face with week old tuna rancid meat and death
>Bones dies
>she tries to get me hard again
>gets awkward I go home
>next day she texts inviting me over
>ignore her
>she keeps texting
>block number and get drunk
>moved on and remarried awesome wife and baby on the way now but that smell still haunts my dreams at times

>>727002526
Dumb bitch blaming your pussy problems on a guy

>>727008159
Rotflmfao

>>727004973
Me too now wtf how to avoid

>>727021177
make sure she's wet, use lube

don't go trying to blindly insert

>>727007136
Nigga you dumb.

>>727012755
oh that's just fucking hilarious. wow anon

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>be me 16
>virgin never kissed a girl in my life
>meet 10/10 cutie at homecoming
>talk for a few months, start dating
>while we talk I find out she's a total slut
>both of our parents are super Christian
>have to resort to fucking in the school bathroom during anime club
>did it half a dozen times there before finding a new place
>first few times are great
>wants me to fuck her in the ass, I reluctantly accept
>shits on my dick
>cleanup, never talk about it again
>after a few months we break up
>she cheated on me with a 20 y/o dropout
>feelsbad.jpg
>she goes and tells the high school liason officer about us fucking in the bathroom
>watches the security videos, sees us sneaking into bathroom
>I get called to office
>officer tells me what's going on
>I seriously consider shoving a pencil through my brain Joker-style
>officer is a total bro, says it's just kid shit, lets me off with a warning
>I get payback by spreading rumors about the bitch, ruin her social life
>she gets fat, hangs out with dropouts and only fucks guys named Chad that give her cigs

>>727023156
Wrong picture, fuck. Oh well.

>>727014252
lmao nah, fuck that bitch dude. if a girl has a rape fetish they're asking for it whenever

>>727003210
Does your name begin with an M?!

>>727020087
i know that feel anon

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>>727020371
im just trying to figure out why you randomly brought over spaghetti you fucking weirdo

>>727023156
hah, what a cunt. you're lucky you didn't catch something. please post a picture of her, im begging you anon

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>>727008159

>>727024047
I would but all I had of her was nudes, deleted after the officer talked to me. I wasn't about to risk that shit. And I have her blocked on pretty much everything.

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>Be me, 21 years old
>In serious relationship with 8/10 qt 3.14
>Gf kind of an annoying bitch plus pussy never got wet and smelled terrible
>Get new cashier at work, 6/10 but doable
>hit it off instantly, flirting commences
>Offer to drive her home one day knowing full well what was going to happen
>get to her place, lives with her parents still and they're home
>start fingering her in my car then get on passenger side floor and proceed to go down on her
>cashier gril is wet as fuck and getting pussy juice all over my face and the seat
>suddenly gf calls, asks when I'll be home
>lie and say stuck in traffic because of an accident
>"Alright see you when you get home. I love you Anon"
>"I love you too babe"
>Hang up, kind of feel bad but still going to fuck
>whip out dick, not even hard
>try and get it up, barely a half chub going
>decide to stick it in anyway
>still in front passenger side so awkward angle didn't help
>can't get hard, cashier gril clearly not impressed
>try for 5 more minutes and say fuck it
>cashier goes into her house without a word
>probably going to tell everyone how bad I was
>time for a new job
>get home, still smell like pussy juice, still have it on my face.
>sit next to gf, give her a kiss
>mfw she doesn't even notice
>mfw I don't even care if she does

I stayed friends with the cashier chick but she never let me fuck her again. Stayed in a relationship with that gf for a while but it eventually ended. Feel pretty bad about all this now.

>>727004203
>Canada
>no health insurance

Pick one faget

>>727012753
>>Remember I took a dump before she came over but never wiped because I was gonna take a shower

gross anon

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>>726999448
>First sexy time ever
>girl of my dreams
>sexiest thing I've ever seen
>her bf drops her to "hang out"
>initiate mating
>penis take the wheel
>she sucks and fucks every position I want
>before I nut she runs and hides under my curtains
>shes guilty crying
>I know have to console her for feeling guilty for letting me fuck her
>friendzoned and cucked for next 2 years by this succubus
>mfw I learn female nature
>mfw I haven't been able to love since
>hurts.jpg

>>727009633
checked

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pirlP48EajI&t=45s

>ur mum

>>727024825
>says "I love you, too" to gf while going down on another girl
>kisses gf with other girls juice on your face

No need to feel ashamed. You have some balls of steel. I'm proud of you.

>>727003808
Would that be SoCal Burbank anon?

>>727024992
Well I mean you were wrong to get with someone in a committed relationship. Hope you feel better soon though anon. Very few crimes justify a punishment of an empty life.

>>727012528
smoke weed

>>727011021
>>727011312
>>727012456
>>727012691

Samefagging for another shitty image board.

>>727012753
oooohhh god i can't breathe, my neck hurts so bad

>with a friend at a bar on NY waiting for some girls we met last night
>we are south americans so kind of broken english
>had fun drinking, friend do most of the talk because is a brag narcissistic asshole
>all kinda drunk
<hey guys let's go to out place to "watch netflix"
>yeah sure
>go to the department
>messy place, they were to leave in two days or so
>friend goes to the other room with a girl
>I got the chubby one
>it's okay, I don't like skinny girls
>go to her room, both got undressed
>massive tits
>finally got to touch some massive tits
>I can barely grab them, they were like jelly, didn't like it
>I tried to kiss
<no tounge
>wtf
<do me
>fat pussy, my first one of this type, not really my taste

>having sex
>she was really enjoying it
>she started to get drowzee
>uhm, you ok
<yeah, do me as you please darling
>two minutes later
>got bored because it was like fucking a piece of meat, also she fell asleep
>I didn't even cum
>well I'll should go
<stay to zzz...
>no thanks
>put her some clothes and leave with my friend
I'll never do this again.

>>727013110
Niggers! Animals in disguise!

>>727002526
keke hey loreanna

>>727018236
this is so fake it hurts

>>727008159
Axe wound kekz

>>727014252
"had" a rape fetish

>>727009899
Topkek

>>727009622
Fat beast turnt you fag

Mustache rides only now

>>727005220

if you aren't a canadian citizen you still have to pay, dude said he was Mexican, plus ambulances arent covered by insurance, its like 500 dollars just to get them on location.

>>727002526
Two timing bitch

>>727018236
>she organisms
holy shit my sides

>>727012528
Have a meaningful relationship, and talk about your problems. It'll come back

>>727018442
Kik me, denisgur1

>>727012528
Sounds like you might be gay

>>726999448
>I get wasted at a housewarming party.
>I snort some coke too so I stay awake far into blackout part of drunk.
>Hazy memories of fooling around with someone and stumbling into an empty bedroom, not knowing why my friends are snickering when they look our way.
>Hazier memories of drunken sex.
>Wake up with atomic hangover, naked, next to naked sister, with dried sex juices all over us.
>Friends outside bedroom door snickering "Hey, the love birds have woken up." "About time."
>Sister wakes up and locks eyes with me.
>We look around, horrified.
>We are playing it off as it was a joke our so-called friends played on us and we actually fucked other people.
>Sensing the reality of what possibly happened, child concieved on that night is not getting DNA tested.

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>Be me at ultra 24 hours ago
>Drunk and on drugs
>Flirt subtly with girl
>She feels my vibrator
>Oh i often wear vibrators around my dick to enjoy raves
>We should use the bathroom together
>Yes we should.
>Begin having great sex with a fit short stack.
>Someone hits the port o potty from outside
>Vibrator falls into the fucking shitter.
>Upset about pricey vibe being damgaed. kills boner.
>sex slows and ends


Fast forward 24 hours later
>no drugs or alcohol in system
>new vibe going off
>Gorgeous pair of girls and guy all jpn wave me over.
>infinitely introverted beta mindset says wave back and keep walking away
>Okay.jpg

>>727029609
Did I win? (humor is how I cope, don't judge)

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>>726999448
>Be 16
>Chilling with GF at mall with friends
>Slyly undo her bra with one hand through her shirt
>she makes excuse to go to the change room and asks me to follow
>I follow her in and she shuts off light and starts kissing me
>Her nose ring was glow in the dark
>Thought it was more awesome than kissing her and booped her on the nose
>mfw I realized I killed the mood

>>727018714
I love how all Mexicans say the same insults in Spanish, it's funny how unoriginal you are

>>727018442
I had an experience like this :/
>Am a femboy
>Go on Grindr to look for a sugar daddy
>Guy messages me saying he'd love to be my sugar daddy and that he'll pamper and take care of me
>Schedule to meet up with him and we're supposed to go back to his place
>Picks me up from my house
>I get in his car
>I tell him Hi and then he asks how I'm doing.
>I say I'm fine. Then like 5 minutes after of silence he asks me to suck his dick in the car
>I ask him if he's going to take me out after at least
>He says yes
>I give him the most unmotivated bj ever but he still cums like a faggot
>Afterwards he just says "did you like it?"
>I nod with a fake smile
>He then says that he has to drive me home and he can't take me out anywhere because he has to be somewhere
>I ask him if he could at least give me money because I assumed since he was driving a nice car he must have cash on him
>Tells me he didn't bring his wallet
>I have a sad look on my face
>He just smiles and says he'd love to see me again
>I cry on the inside and I keep thinking to myself "that never happened, I will speak of this to no one"
Never felt so dirty in my life

>>727030386
it's also funny how butt hurt they are about trump yet they don't even give a shit about their own shitty country

>>727003784
they can break a human spine with their crazy jaws

>>727016737
>not even Mexican dude I just hate Americans Mexicans are better anyways dude lol

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>Meet up with chick and we fuck the first day we meet.

>Accidentally spill her ash tray by her bedside on the floor as i was trying to move a table that was stuck so we could fuck. Oh well, she didn't seem to mind.

>Shit is cash, until we switch positions.

>There's a small turd pebble sitting right between her ass cheeks.

>Shit covers the head of my dick and my balls and my fingertips.

>I go to Kwik Trip to try and wash the stink off of my hands before driving to my brother's place. It doesn't go away, even after I try again at my brother's place to get rid of it.

>Spend a few minutes scraping dried shit off of myself.

>Haven't spoken to or heard from her since. Don't plan to ever talk to or see her again.

That's my worst.

>>727031901
What a shitty outcome. Shit, that was bad. I feel for you for having such a shitty experience.

runny shit in your ass is pretty much the only way you're going to be lubed for random ass sex. It was either that or you desperately trying to shove it in dry

>>727032071
shit will ruin any sexual experience, anon. Keep that in mind. The stench is unbearable. Totally killed my sex drive plus it was unreasonably hot in her room during. There wasn't a lot, but you could see the brown on my dick and balls where there was shit and it grossed me right the fuck out. Spotting that turd was like WHAT THE FUCK

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There was a dick and she said I was inadequate

>>727001829
I say good sir, fine reponse

>>727032700
Wtf is that painting on the left side
Don't tell me he actually spent money on that Minecraft looking shit right there

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>>727011962
hahah my sides! that's gold jerry gold!

>>726999448

>be at uni during break
>plain girl on our floor comes knocks on door
>holycrap.jpg she's wearing a thong and see through short
>5 mins later we are fucking
>she's just laying there like a starfish, looking bored
> jokingly I say wut do I have to do slap you with my dick?
>she says yes slap me
>start slapping her face feelweirds.jpg
>she starts getting off on it
>telling me to hit her harder
>lots of squealing
>forgot to lock and close door to room
>3 others on floor can hear whats going on
>sounds like I'm rapingher.exe
>hear door open, 3 others are watching us
>two chicks drag me off her
>plain chick tells them to fuck off
>we get back to fucking after locking the door
>fastforward.sh
>everyone gets back from break
>rumour is I raped plain girl
>tell her in front of group of friends that it wasn't
>she goes, "yeah kinda."
>everyone treats me like shit for a month
>feelbadsman.jpg
>plain girl and I hook up several times more
>people realise she's nuts and likes it very rough
>that month was horrible though

>>727002526
Tits or gtfo

>Meet girl that is schlepping around with a group of friends of mine.
> At the end of the night she just automatically follows me out to my car
>She is looking for a little fun and I'm newly divorced and free, come on girl.
>She sets the mood with a little grab and tickle in the front room.
>She asks me where the bathroom is and tells me to be naked in bed when she comes out.
>She spends five minutes doing her thing then comes out naked.
> She does all the standard things, sucking cock, presenting pussy to be eaten, insisting upon her cervix being beaten within an inch of its life by my dick.
>Spend the better part of an hour breaking my dick off in her, it was glorious.
>She goes to the bathroom and takes a bear sized shit, while grunting like a horny hippo.
>In the middle of this she asks me to come in.
>She siezes my cock and blows me while shitting a turd that would kill an elephant.
>Gets finished as I drain myself down her throat, wipes, and flushes.
>Wants to take shower.
> Go to it lady, you deserve it.
>Wants me to wash her.
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>We wash eachother and dry eachother.
>We snuggled up and fell asleep.
>Worst night ever.

>>726999999

>be 18 year old virgin
>at new year eve party at my crush's house
>she hadn't invited any of our other friends
>her older brother is there with his friends though
>take part in drinking games
>she decides to take me upstairs and we smoke a joint
>she starts coming onto me but ends up vomiting up her tequila sunrise on the floor
>spend some time with brother's friends because she had gone to bed
>do some coke because there's nothing better to do
>clock strikes midnight
>her brother is sticking his tounge down my throat
>he says it was a joke but I walk off anyway
>girl finally awake
>told not to mention the coke to her
>she invited me into her bed
>we chat
>getting hard
>she knows I'm a virgin so takes the lead
>start touching each other
>go on the floor because it's quieter than the bed
>doing it
>still doing it
>can't cum, dick isn't working
>she looks tired and frustrated
>give up and head to the bathroom to cool off
>we end up chatting for a while
>she puts my fingers into her pussy
>getting hard again
>she jerks me off
>we try again
>my technique is improving
>still can't cum
>she pretty much uses me a big dildo with human attached
>she finished and we go to sleep
>woke up early and went home in shame
>later found out about coke dick
>I think cocaine broke my penis