Whats the most awsome thing youve ever done in your entire live

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Rape

>>726820695
Fucked your mom

Driving around a 4 car crash that happened in front of me on an icy freeway without calling 911.

Jerked off once

>>726820695
Sauce?

>>726821080
https://celebfakesandcumshots.tumblr.com/post/117336949127/beth-behrs-cumshot-video
Might be beth behrs from 2 broke girls

>>726820695
this one time I got dubs

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i knocked up 4 women.

>>726821198
Sick.

Breaking a million gold pieces on Runescape

>date freshmen girl my senior year of hs
>we brake up but she becomes my oneitits
>we never fucked or anything she was just the first person I cared about but she was a 9/10
>oneitis became my sister's best friend while I was away in college
>come back one summer and oneitits basically lives at my place always staying over
>oneitits has been in a relationship for 4 years and super friendzoned my ass after we broke up in high school
>get drunk together one night
>she sleeps in my bed with me and is completely passed out
>i start feeling her up being content with just touching her again 5 years later
>manage to unbutton her shorts and get hand under bra
>dick is the hardest it's ever been in my life
>while I finger her she gets up on her own with her eyes closed and just straddles me and puts my dick inside her and starts riding me
>raw doging for the first time ever and its with my oneitits, dick has physically become diamonds
>fill her up but dick still hard
>fuck her in cuddling position and bust inside her again
We fell asleep after that, she woke up and asked why her shorts were off, I laughed because I thought she was kidding and pretending she knew just playing dumb
She basically went with the story that she didn't remember anything, I told her I dreamt that I fucked her and that it felt very real
We then agreed on the fact that we fucked
She cried a ton because she cheated and was mad at me but fast forward to a week later when she's over again
She says something along the lines of "I can't stop thinking about having sex with you, I've never enjoyed it before but whatever you did that night my body wants it again". We ended up dating for a year after that

Ttdr: raped my oneitits so good she left her bf and dated me for a year

>>726821260
And I'll bet father to none. You're black, right?

I've thrown a cucumber at my teacher in front of the whole class. i said it was an accident he believed me and wasn't mad at me. shit was cash.

>>726821510
It isn't. It's a Portugese porn star. Can't recall her name right now, sorry.

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>>726821845
> we brake up
> brake up
> brake

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>>726821845
>oneitits
is this even a word?

>>726821845
>most awesome thing
>literally rape
nigga are you serious? and how dumb is that bitch?

>>726821845
Hahahaha nice

>>726822147
Break you autist
>>726822155
Not a real one, no
You know what it means though don't be a faggot

>>726822000
Yeah, I gathered that when I searched it.

probably getting a job a month after graduating college or losing my virginity.

ive had a boring life. I don't travel and I don't have a lot of friends but I pay for all my own shit and don't hate myself anymore than I should.

>>726822155
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=oneitis

>>726822269
Legally raped her yeah
But that's bullshit we were both drunk and she was definitely awake while we fucked
She slipped up one time and told me something along the lines of "she got off thinking about that first time we fucked and how I felt her up" I never disclosed to her that I felt her up so she definitely remembered.

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>>726821845

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>>726822337
im german, and ive never heard of that "word" before

Haha, reminds me of one of my first blowjobs where I was like "oh shit gonna come" and she pulled her lips off to say what and I came right in her eye.

That directly lead to me getting laid for the first time in the shower, somehow, because she wanted to wash up and I came in behind and she just started grinding her ass up against me and said I could do it.

>>726822948
First time I heard it was on r9k so it's probably an Internet word if not a flat out chanword

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I fucked escorts a couple times. The first time was pretty fucking cash.

>>726823181
>fucking cash
Basically, yeah. They're escorts for a reason anon.

i did a lot of work with a dog rescue that mainly worked with dogs that came from dumb niggers

>>726823534
It must have been awful to see traumatized dogs daily.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiOf2HZmLfY

>>726823882
it was pretty bad sometimes, but most all the dogs turned out fine and where adopted. those people think they can keep a dog chained in the front yard to use as protection or something, and all you have to do is throw the dog some good treats and they will let you approach. that's when you cut the chain pick the dog up and run.

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>>726820695

Probably my senior prank in high school, where I put a ton of laxatives in the universally-hated vice-principal's coffee before her yearly full-school speech, making her massively shit herself on stage in front of the entire student body and all the faculty.

I keep meaning to greentext the whole event, but I'm too fucking lazy.

>>726824134
Sometimes I wish that there was some kind of system to prevent unsuitable people from having animals or children. You are doing good work.

>>726824338
Hahahaha nice

>>726820695
>Be me
>At School
>Learned how to spell life

Best day of my life ever!

Moving away from home to another country and not failing the first semester there.

Also proud of completing a full paint correction on my parent's two cars.

I wish I could say something more interesting, but my life is boring and pretty empty.

I accepted Jesus Christ

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>be me, mister anon
>second day of electric forest
>wake up, don't eat, take acid
>first day I missed several artists waiting in line
>notice large gap in fence where people are exiting
>being a former college sprinter I go for it
>run as fast as I can through the opening
>I hear a "HEY YOU STOP" trail off into the distance
>Run straight into the crowd
>Slightly gassed I meet this dude rolling up a quad into a joint
>"Sit and smoke anon."
>Take the whole joint to the head with anon
>fastforward.gif
>string cheese incident
>sniff sniff
>smell dmt in the middle of the crowd
>the acid leads me there as I weave through the crowd
>group of people with a nectar collector hitting dmt in middle of the crowd
>"May I have some please anons?"
>"Of course anon, sit down, enjoy."
>Take a massive rip
>Entire reality stained glass
>Dance uncontrollably, but fluidly to the music
>Looking around everyone giving me thumbs up, smiling
>Acid at peak, DMT at peak
>trip lasted through four songs
best dmt experience ever.

>>726820695
Wanted to stop my opioid addiction, and knowing I'd just throw my money on drugs, decided to give 50 dollars to a homeless person.

>>726825587
That addiction shift
Noice
That dude hadn't been that high since he went homeless

>>726825734
Nice plot twist.

I cheated on my ex with her younger sister

Shit was cash for 8months, but the she found out and everything went down in fucking flames, brazilian soap opera style.

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Got away with a felony defrauding the state. Really I just brought someone else's piss to a drug test but it was at the state's attorney's office.
>walking with bag of piss in my sweatpants
>it won't stay in but I have no other options
>going through security/on-duty police
>walking through the metal detector I can feel it slipping
>wakemeupinside.jpg
>it lands perfectly on top of my shoe and the pants are barely covering it
>the instant I'm through the gate, it falls out and I snatch it instantly
>turn around, nobody noticed
>get into elevator, it's empty, thank God
>place bag back in pants
>by the time I'm up to my floor I notice something
>it's kinda warm and it's running down my leg
>CAN'TWAKEUPINSIDE.webm
>reach in to re-seal the bag, piss gets on my hands but I don't care
>finally make it to the collection area
>for some reason I thought a Ziploc bag was the solution but then in the moment I realized otherwise
>I have to open the bag with someone just on the other side of the door
>do a really shitty forced cough and just go for it
>have to make it sound legit, actually peeing into the toilet and then stopping as a tip the bag
>hurting my parts pretty bad doing this
>just barely clear the minimum sample size
>walk out head held high but drenched in piss, and not my piss
>drive 2 hours home with no pants
>I passed the test but I would never be the same
>mfw
I think they kinda knew what was going down and just gave me a pity pass, I had to reek like piss

>>726826412
Hahahaha nice

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Had a couple FFM threesome and one MMMF foursome.

Ayahuasca in Peru.

Sex w three different beutiful women in Colombia.

Traveled across the East Coast and the Midwest alone in a car.

Extracted DMT.

DJed some amazing events/parties.

Honorable discharge from Army. (Disenfranchised ex-soldier, but still oddly proud I did it.)

Finished my service without ever going to sick call and somehow managed to become a sniper team leader.

>>726826511
Deep inside my brain I hoped for Ménage à trois, for 99% the younger one would be fine with that, but bitch went insane. Fucking full shrieking banshee style. For some time I was sure she was stalking me and trying to kill me.

Still worth it.

>>726826546
Hahahaha nice

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>be me
>at hotel party at jersey shore
>underage
>all drinking
>cops crash party
>surround the entire hotel
>cop asks me for my ID
>i say it's in my car
>he tells me to go get it
>i step out the door
>take three steps to the right
>open the door to my own hotel room
>close and lock door behind me
>can hear everything happening through the wall
>everyone is getting owned
>no one saw me slip into my room
>mfw

>>726820695
I once did a flip while running away because someone tried to run me over in a tractor.

Enlightenment

>>726827439
Well done.

Dated the mother of a girl who went on to be a magazine cover model. Sadly, it's been downhill ever since.

>>726820695
Hid from the DNR while super baked out of my mind in the middle of the Michigan wilderness. They never caught me, but I almost got horribly lost in the woods. Was totally worth it.

>>726820853
don't know why but I laughed at this. so simple, so predictable yet it got me to laugh.

Her name is erica fontes

fucked a 15 year old for hours when i was 29, ran out if jizz

Skydiving

Went when I was 18 with my uncle. He ended up paying around 4 dollars 400 because the guy who rang us up after fucked up somehow. He never went back to correct it.

>>726829845
4 instead of 400*

was top 900 in hc s&d cod mw2, I shot those throwing knives like a god

>>726829845
"Bank error in your favor."

>>726820695
Stole shai's flag off a five story building

>>726827970
Me too /b/ro for real

>>726821080
Erica Fontes

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>>726825587
Nice fucking gesture anon. I've had a few of these moments too, where I've taken the 40 bucks in my pocket meant for dope and laid it in the palm of someone who would never expect it.

>>726820695

painted graffiti in the basement of the white house while nignog was pres, never got caught, snuck back to my Civics tour group and walked right the fuck outta there

>>726830808
Cheers pal.

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>>726820695

Was fucking gf at the time in a Sears womens changing room, her 15 me 17. Came on a dress just lying there and we left it lol.

Won 1,000 dollars off a scratch off two birthdays ago.

Yeah i dont have alot to go on.

>>726829228
So envious.

>Got arrested in my first year of university for dealing drugs.
>Really annoyed me since I worked hard to get in to the course I wanted.
>Sentenced to 12 months.
>Do 8 months, then released.
>Work 9-5 in a factory for 12 months until my probation has ended.
>Contact a friend I'd met in prison, he then lived in his home country of Argentina.
>Fly to Argentina to help said friend with a venture.
>Venture is sailing cocaine from Caracas Venezuela through the Caribbean in to the Gulf of Mexico.
>We do this 2 times a week for 12 months until my Visa is up.
>For that 12 moths apart from the sailing we spent our days traveling through South America, doing a lot of cocaine, fishing incredible reefs and basically living like kings in very nice hotel rooms fucking prostitutes and enjoying life.
>After I return, I figure out a way to import cocaine from Argentina to Australia.
>This is successful for another 6 years roughly.
>Then disaster strikes.
>Back to prison for another 8 years, no parole.
>Do every day of 8 years.
>Get out of prison for the second time, I'm now mid 30's, with nothing I can use financially without ending up back in prison.
>Do a cert IV in electronics which takes 12 months.
>Pattern a new design and sell for a decent amount of money and also buy in to the company.
>And that's where I'm at today, everything kind of went better than expected I guess.

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>>726820695
I've rescued 8 dogs and 4 cats, all elderly and had all been at the shelters over a year. They rescued me in return.

>>726830857
Hahahaha nice

>>726831498
Hahahaha nice

>>726831532
Thanks for sharing that with us

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>>726826511
>>726826762
>>726831702
>>726831899

Nigger what the fuck

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>>726831971
It's what /b/ is all about.

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>>726831532

Youre not gonna save them all. Why help save unruly dirty animals from an otherwise inevitable, freeing death? I have a roommate like this. I made him get rid of 6 of his 8 fucking cats he was just finding in his old neighborhoo>>726831532
d. Disgusting.

>>726832078
Please watch your language, I'm browsing /b/ with my 6 years old son, and you're giving him a bad example.

> threesome with 2 girls
> orgy
> did the trans-siberian railroad as part of Germany-Vietnam by train
> stopped for a drink at the Foreign Correspondents Club in Hong Kong
> went horse riding across Mongolia

>>726832277
Double dubs demand it.

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>>726832273
I'm not a poorfag like you and your idiot roommate. My pets are better off than you, you simpleton. Go eat a bag of cocks.

>>726831473
kept her awake for long time, knew it would be a once in a lifetime thing

>>726825587
This, i've done similar.

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>>726832459

I did him a favor, but ok richman. Keep up with those silly pests and become a crazy cat lady. Because, you know, cat piss and shit has been proven to chemically alter brain patterns and thats why you beastiallity enthusiasts are prone to "love" them. Faggot.

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>>726832668
Good on you /b/ro.

>>726832405
Hahahaha nice

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>>726831968
What did you do?

I was part of the operation that invaded Iraq in March of 2003.