hi /b/ Help me, I'm panicking right now. 2 weeks ago

You're fucked they will know

>>726819280
GODDAMMIT

What kind of drug test? Odds are that you'll pass.

Your fucked dude

>>726819391
Urine THC drug test. Really? Any tips to increase my chances of passing?

>>726819391
>trolling OP this hard
That's not cool bruh

the general rule is that it takes roughly 30 days to clear your system out

>>726819450
Sorry,you're not passing shit. It takes 60 to 90 days for THC to leave your system and that's if you're not a fat fuck

Just drinka lot of water

Yeah it depends on the test. If it is a stringent test you're fucked.

If it's not so stringent and it's a urine test then you may be in luck. Drink a shitload of water 24 hours before the test. Don't poison yourself with the stuff but you need to drink til your piss is barely yellow. Then you might get away with it but if they are prepared and expecting the usual tricks you're fucked

>>726819612
It will come up diluted and he'll have to piss again

>>726819509
>>726819612
Holy shit.

Well, I guess i won't go to class.

Thanks anons.

>>726819687
No its still piss..

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You'll get this..

>>726819450
drink a lot of water before. that's seriously it. if you want, you can drink a lot of water and sweat a lot now.

>>726819612
just drinking water wont work. it will be too diluted and they will make you come back the next day to take it again

>>726819612
Also using someone elses piss is no good. There's a temperature check on the test label which turns a different colour if the temperature of the piss is too low

Yeah
https://youtu.be/Jnjb5lUy9yQ

>>726819586
Nah, that's like a fat fuck who is a heavy, heavy smoker.

If OP just drinks a bunch of water for the next couple days, he might be ok. It doesn't take very long for most people to piss clean if they only smoke like once every few months.

>>726819687
>>726819757
you can take creatine supplements with your shittons of water for that, as I understand the dilution test is for creatine

>>726819757
That's what I mean about how stringent they are. If they are looking for diluted piss it won't work

>>726819450
I've heard lots of good things about cranberries helping to get toxins out of your system. They have cranberry pills you can take, or just get a bunch of the dried kind. Tea is supposed to also help with detoxing. Just drink as much liquid as you can, piss it out fast.

On a side note, I have several piss tests for THC here at home that I've been using to gauge how long it would take THC to get out of my system. It's been two weeks for me, and the test is barely showing as me passing. I'm guessing the home tests aren't as precise as the laboratory ones, but there is hope, anon.

Go buy fake pee. Or buy your friend's pee.

Just buy SubSolution and you're good to go. I just used it to pass a pre employment drug screen and it worked. Synthetic urine is the way to go if your test is unsupervised.

>>726819199
Go buy an on the shelf drug test kit at a store and check yourself first. Then go from there.

>>726819450
don't show up.....

>>726820200
What about the temperature stickers? How is he gonna keep it at a toasty 37 degrees Celsius?

>>726819586
Up to 6 months easy

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I'm about to get a job at a grocery store and they just mouth swab. My friends all say three day of not smoking will pass. Any tips?

>>726820070
>I'm guessing the home tests aren't as precise as the laboratory ones
that's a big assumption to make. a lot of employers just want a rubber stamp for legal reasons and will go with the cheapest option

>>726819199
Just buy synthetic urine at a smoke shop, it's the shit they use to calibrate the machines and it's shelf stable for a year as long as the seal's not broken

>>726820321
It's so cute that you think you know what you're talking about

>>726820270
Agree with this dude. Less than 20 bucks from wally world. If you fail it, it's pretty easy to cheat a piss test as long as you have a friend you can get a clean sample from.

>>726819199
>>726819199
what kind of fucked up country are you from, where an educational institute is allowed to drug-test their students.

>> ofc murica

>>726820429
>>726820200
Actually planned on doing that. But won't they notice the urine's not body temperature?

>>726819199
get about 10 bottles of cranberry juice and be ready to just drink and pee all day long thats probably the only chance you'll pass.
Or you can get someone to piss for you and sneak it in when theyre drug testing you

>>726819199
Have one of your friends piss in a condom for you. Tape it to bottom of nut sack to keep warm and a safety pin attached to your sock. As soon as you have privacy, use safety pin to pop condom, then flush condom and wash hands.

>>726819450
Don't listen to any of these tarded advices. Evening before drink like 1.5 L of water then go sleep. In the morning go pee and drink another 2 liters and it will be ok i did it couple of times and it worked.

>>726819199
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Pot-Out-of-Your-System

>>726820328
Some of the lab tests run into thousands of dollars so I thibk you're right. But even the off the shelf instant tests are highly accurate. The new ones void your sample if the temperature is way too low

>>726820484
They don't let you flush the toilet during a drug test, retard.

>>726820633
Oh what so you just piss all the overflow all over yourself? This isn't an inpatient test, it's for universiry you Fucking imbecile. Think context, faggot. Fuck you.

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>>726820472
I've passed piss tests with these bottles from walmart. After a friend pissed in it for me, I left it in my gooch, like straight up between my balls and asshole. Wore 2 pairs of compression shorts just to be sure that it didn't drop temp. It was a lil uncomfortable, but it did the job. It's gotta be between 90 and 100 degrees to pass, just so you know.

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as an employer, we do not test for pot. the pot test cost over $100 for us. we test for meth, coke and opiods, because people who abuse that shit will steal from you and fuck up one way or another

>>726820307
It comes with a vial of powder to heat it to the right temperature. Buying the "stash belt" is a MUST. Works beautifully.

I had to pass a drug test 4 days after smoking and was able to do it. Drink tons of water and cranberry juice, dont buy "cleanse products" they dont work. You want your piss to be chrystal clear and while your taking the test make sure you immediately pee in the cup. Pee a little intro the toilet and then fill it up also do not fill it up till you cant pee anymore because the first bit of pee and the last bit have the highest chance of testing positive. Also im about the same height and weight as you.

>>726820752
Clearly you've never taken a drug test. They tape off the toilet flusher and the sink so that you don't use it.

* make sure you DONT immediately pee in the cup

>>726819199
If you fail the test, tell them you're taking Naproxen for heacaches, Naproxen can cause a false positive for weed on a drugs test.

>>726820833
Yeah, in an inpatient/outpatient setting, where you have a history of chronic drug abuse, totally. This isn't that. You're dumb.

>>726820484

I've done this for work tests.

You might have a chance If you exercise regularly, eat healthy, and your system was already clean.

>>726820897
Every drug test I've ever for an employer has had the toilet and sink taped off. We're talking shit-wage jobs, and good paying salary jobs.

>>726819199
what uni?

>>726820797
The bottle that holds the synthetic urine has a temperature strip on the side so you know with certainty that you've got the temperature right.

Just drink a gallon of water and about 4 cups of cranberry juice every 6 hours until then and you should be ok. You'll piss every 20 minutes, so get ready, but it should work

>>726820897

Exactly. Rehab or parole individual detected.

>>726821085
Also make sure you don't drink that much on the day of your test. Your piss should be yellow on the day of the test so they don't suspect dilution

Pot is fat soluble, stays in your system for 6 months. you are screwed, faggot OP

>>726821132
what's good my nigga Ay ay haha

>>726821180

This is completely false.

Random question: If someone failed a pot drug test (either for work or uni), is he/she liable for jail time?

>>726819199
I would actually say you're probably fine. Sure, it is known that marijuana stays in your system for "about 30 days", but that's more for regular users. I would say since you haven't smoked over a year before then, there wasn't much THC built up in your body. Go for a run and drink water, that'll help flush your body of toxins and hopefully THC.

>>726821316

No. Only if it is a probation situation or DUI

>>726819199
Ken your fine, go buy the jelly shit celto or whatever I'm naked rn don't know name. Drink it with the directions found online and u pass you can smoke the hour before and pass.
Source have done before

>>726819199
>uni
>drug test
Transfer to a school that isn't run by fucking Nazis.

>>726821245
BITCH your completely false, not the guy who u commented on but he may b wrong but it does go into your fat cells.. So you can't say he is "completely" false..

Be like me. Admit all your drug use and get commended for being honest when your test comes back positive for opoids and crack cocaine as well as benzodiazipines

>>726821610

Use your fucking head you momo. Capitalizing a curse word does not make you tough.

Everyone who comments on pot knows pot is stored in fat.

My obvious comment was on length and it is completely false

Thanks anons <3

lolwtf is nobody going to tell him the truth

>>726819199
It stacks exponentially the more days in a row you've smoked, if it was just once a couple of weeks ago your probably going to pass just fine