Just share them,this is a safe place.

I eat my toenails

>>726613969
i dry my dick and my asshole with the hairdryer

im gay

My cousin is pregnant and im pretty sure its mine

2h /b/ befor goin to Bed

deez nuts is my secret

I pee in sinks, even at my friend's house and at work

Years ago i told my female co-worker (for 10 years) i have a foot fetish. She is married and has three kids.
She sends me pictures of her feet (bare foot or in shoes / heels) for me to jack off to. She also lets me touch her feet whenever the fuck i want.
I also saw her tits, and she went to take a piss in a bathroom while i was still in it when she was somewhat drunk, so i saw her pussy as well.
Only thing i care about is the next step, kissing or licking her feet. Already told her i want to, but waiting for the right time.

Yeah. And i also talk to her husband from time to time, but never told him anything.

I fucked your mom last night. And she was utter shit, her cunt flaps made clapping sounds in the gentle wind.

i have jet fuel that can melt steel beams

>>726615854
Nice. Any pics of her?

Friend came to stay for a few days. She obviously trusts me a lot. As soon as she leaves the house for the day I violate her privacy, root through her bag looking for her used panties. Find her panties and have the best jerk-off session ever, sniffing them and jacking off with them wrapped around my cock. No guilt only pleasure. Talking to her later and knowing how I violated her without her knowing gets me off even more.

Im secretly into music from meghan trainor bruno mars etc.

>>726615129
Not a secret I think everyone does that

>>726616411
Foot guy here.

I also did this to my co-worker. Jacked off to her used panties. No guilt at all.

Also love taking off her shoes and feeling the warmth of her feet inside het shoes or heels.

>>726616627
some people says that is bad to do that

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My life feels like a mythological greek story:

>born dead cause doctor A fucked up
>doctor B revives me and fires doctor A
>have a "relationship" with 10
>don't ever meet her again (lol)
>her sister told me that that girl jinxed me
>"you won't have a proper gf"
Sure, voodoo wish wash magic.
>mothers friend rapes me on christmas eve while she was drunk
>fucks with me every year after
Used to enjoy that, nowadays I just want my virginity back.
>have a proper gf with like 16
>break up cause she's a clingy nutcase
>meet another girl, hook up
>breakup cause she sucked another guy off while telling me she was learning Latin
>years pass
>meet nice girl, she likes lotr, dem boobs, a bit chubby which I actually like
>didn't see her for a couple of months
>meet again, we start dating for a couple of months
>then: "Sorry Anon, I just want to be friends"
>was talking to some nice chick while we were dating though, nothing serious, just some small talk which got eventually pretty frequent
>she's a game dev, awesome sense of humor, just a wonderful person but lives an entire continent away
>start playing portal 2, have lots of fun, she opens up more and more to me
>she then drops the ball
>"Yeah my grandfather didn't talk to me since I outed myself as trans"
>-INTERNAL SCREAMING-
"You... what?"
>"o shit anon I didn't tell you?"
>decide to get piss drunk
>she joins
>i have the fun of my life
>When I said I was going to bed, all I hear is "Anon... I love you!"
>And I had to admit: "I love you too!"

I have more if anyone is interested

>>726616753
They're closet fags

>>726616652
Oh and while im at it. I also stoke nudes meant for het husband off her phone (i know her access code).

Only had a few mins to app em to myself and delete them from our chat history. My heart was pounding like mad.

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I fap while sniffing my dad's undies.

>>726616809
so you into traps

>>726617153
Don't we all ;)


Just kidding I've never met my dad :[

>>726615405
stop

>>726617297
my nigga

>>726617157
She's currently going through medical treatment, taking meds and all that stuff. I'm not really into dicks, and thank god she doesn't want me to do anything with what remained of "him". She'll also go through full surgery next year (wewt).

And honestly, she gave me the fucking greatest blowjob I've ever had, and is totally into anal, so why the fuck not

>>726613969
I beat a kid up for being white. I am white. I have nothing but white friends. I just beat HIM up because HE was white. I didn't feel he should have been white.

>>726616051
ahhhh yes
the beautiful sound of cunt flaps clapping in the light summer's breeze.

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>>726613969
This one time, I faded away. And then, I classified myself as obsolete. That made me savage as fuck, as you can see.

In middle school my neighborhood was new, I lived in one of the only houses in the area but gradually more and more houses were springing up. I had a hobby of sneaking into construction sites and shitting in the foundations of houses. And I know from repeated visits nobody cleaned them up.

In middle school I used to go into the woods with my friends because we stashed porn we stole from my nextdoor neighbor's dad there. We circlejerked over it. Once I danced naked for them.

I peed in a soda bottle and shook it up and then let a girl I had a crush on drink from it without her knowing.

When I was really young, I think 7 or so, there was some kid I didn't like down at the duck pond by my old house. I was on the bridge crossing the bond, it was old and falling apart with chunks of asphalt loose on it. I picked up a medium sized one and dropped it on his head because he was throwing rocks at the ducklings. He was hospitalized for a few days and had to get stitches. His friends saw me running away but didn't recognize me. I never came forward and nobody knew I did it.

I was playing with fire once in a field near my house, pretending like I was camping. I thought I stamped it out, but I wasn't thorough. I woke up to see a huge fire raging just beyond a nearby hill, it burned down three houses under construction. Never admitted to anything.

When I was pretty young (maybe 7 or 8), a teenage boy who sometimes babysat us showed me his hard cock and let me touch it. I sorta gripped it once, then chickened out and ran off. We never spoke of it but he sorta avoided me after that.

I fingered my 5 year old cousin's virgin pussy when I was 10 years old, but I didn't really know what I was doing and was just curious.

>>726617542
still a fag

>>726618285
There's only two kinds of people here Anon,

Faggots
Faggots in denial

I was at a crush's house when I was younger, and I took her chapstick, ran into the bathroom, and rubbed it all over my dick. I then tricked her into using it on her lips.

>>726618542
Which one are you?

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I take pictures of my female classmates' asses. Not gonna post any and pic not realted

>>726618871
*related fuck my dyslexic self

>>726618665
I have herpes. I left my Chapstick in my sister's room and some faggot who couldn't get none off her rubbed it on his tiny dick

>>726615030
Me too m8, me too...

>>726618174
>In middle school my neighborhood was new
welcome prehistoric man

>>726618542
Continue the story bro

>>726617153
do you know what "insipired" you to have this specific thing going on? ;-)

>>726616506
don't kid yourself. everyone knows you're a faggot, you bieberbeliever.

>>726619694
cock

I was at my friend's house and I had to take a bath, and fucked my friends mother. I was 8, and his mom walked in while I was bathing and got naked, I asked what she was doing, and she said that she was relieving herself. She then got into the bath with me and sat on my dick (not literally, I didn't go up the ass I went in her pussy). She then started bouncing up and down really quickly and violently. She was so damn tight, his father worked a lot, hence why she fucked an 8 year old. Within 2 minutes I came. She said that it wasn't enough, and kept going for 20 more minutes, I came so much that day. She was on birth control. My friend told me years later when were talking about getting people pregnant (we still haven't gotten anyone pregnant), he brought up the fact that his mom uses birth control.

i occasionally fabricate stories about unfortunate people, which i then post on /r9k/ and rake in (You)s

>>726619813
not even 1 word

>>726615129
me too bruv

I spy for the cia

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>>726619918
>>726619813
Same person. Greatest fucking bait ever.

>>726619813
feel bad about it today?

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

>>726620050
lel

>>726620052
Hell yes, she was ugly as fuck.

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>>726620066
>Hebrew School play
Get out, sandnigger.

>>726620749
He got dubs, now he will explode your house be careful

>>726620066
Juden!!!

>>726620066
>hid the puke in my jacket
10/10

>hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa
lol the sound when something goes comically wrong?

Is it rape if it's your wife that's passed out drunk?

Dragging her over to the edge of the bed, ripping down her leggings half-way and pounded the ever-loving shit out of her tight pussy?

Asking for a friend..

>>726616809
lmao nigga u gay af

>>726615854
pics of feet?

A couple years ago I made my dog lick my dick a couple times.

I still play Roblox and Minecraft

I skimmed $3,000 from a food stand one summer

I am trying to convince my emo friend that is bullied all time to kill everyone, including my enemies

>>726615405
Not in here

I fap to robot traps.

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>>726616051
>>726617635
Apparently summer has arrived

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I fantasize about killing people every day and it's getting harder to keep myself from lashing out at my friends lately because i'm just so fucking wired all the time

im stealing stuff from my work over years... i made over 200k € of it on ebay.

We're all faggots.

>>726616809
Get out more dude. You don't have to be this way. Just move around a lot and things will start to make sense.

i dont understand how to properly socialize anymore as my skills at it have been deteriorating and i dont have the courage to kill myself so my family will stop worrying about it because they dont understand.

>>726623739
kill someone else instead

>>726623484
Exercise. You're two months of jogging away from having things start making sense to you again. It's hard at first but will save your life

Guilherme is an effete skinny dick faggot and 10/10 sheitposting needs to purge him for the sake of the group

>>726616098
holy fucking shit

>>726615764
Sinks are just urinals you can wash your hands in.

>>726624245
>faggot

One time I really had to go to the bathroom but both bathrooms were full (keep in mind I was at my sister's house for Christmas) so I shit in her cats litter box

>>726613969
I'm in a secret relationship with my mom. My parents live in the country side now on their own farmland. Every summer I come back for a month from University to spend time with them. There's a nice forest right behind our backyard where me and my mom would often sneek off to for hikes and just to have sex.

I messed around with one of my sisters twice (around 5th or 6th grade) on year age gap, no penetration or genitals but it was intimate and grabby, weird shit, and one time the other sister when i was like 5 I remember putting my tiny baby dick in her face

every once in a while I remember it but now typing this 19 y/o anon feels guilty af

I have sucked over 100 cocks and been fucked by dozens...feelsgoodman.jpg

>>726615263
fuck
tough luck mate

>>726625471
do you feel guilty at all?

I nut on my bed sheets and dont clean it

>>726626039
what does that smell like?

>>726620066

That part about fabricating a fake puke and throwing it down on people in theater is a quote from a movie. can't remember the name but it can be surely googled, nice try tho

>>726626151
goonies

>>726626086
It smells like shit but I like it I have a cleaner that comes from time to time to wash the bed sheets

i had my first gay experience yesterday. I paid for a thai ladyboy prostitute who I sucked off and then she fucked me in the ass

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i get off to chicks with braces like natalie monroe, moretta coxx, piper perri, but i wish they looked more like adults and less like the weird loli shit they're going for. makes the boners weird.

>>726615129
me too, but on the cold setting obviously. you don't want to ruin your sperm doing that.

>>726626431
>she
>fucked me

choose one faggot

I have a fart fetish

I want to die but don't want to go through the effort to do it. At this rate I'm waiting for death by old age

>>726626809
like. being farted on?
or farting while you cum?
or.. Farting on someone?

how does this work?

One time at my bosses house for a work party I lifted up the cistern in the bathroom and had a shit in it, so shitty water came out for the next 5 or so flushes until a female co worker noticed.

My other co worker got the blame for it and was dismissed with disorderly conduct with fellow employees all because he was the last person seen going in to the bathroom before the female noticed the shitty water.

To this day I don't know why I was compelled to do it. My boss is actually a great guy.

>>726613969
I murdered 3 chil... I mean i put pineapples on pizza.

>>726626014
I use to feel guilty but every time my mom offered I just couldn't refused. I couldn't mentally control myself to stop and now I don't feel anymore guilt about it even though I know it's wrong.

>>726618871
Cause they're underage. Ok.

>>726626519
same

About 5 years ago I set up a script on my dad's computer where every image he transferred from a Bluetooth device is sent to an email I control.

I had a LOT of pictures of my parents fucking until last year when my gf almost discovered the folder I kept them in, so I deleted them

>>726626581
he then..

>>726626904
Being farted on. I fucking hate having it, but I have it.

I shit myself at Karate class and the teacher picked it up with his finger thinking it was chocolate then smelt it. rip.

I used to coerce my 11 year old sister in to showing me her body, like all the time. She's never brought it up in the last 15 years.

>>726617073
Post pics

>>726620066
Sounds like a quote from "The Goonies"

>>726613969
>this is a safe place.
LOL, no, it isn't.

I take creepshots all. The. Time
I even have a special app that turns the screen black when you record. Im taking like 1000+ creepshot vids

I catfished my sister once, but only got as far as a bra pic before she exposed my picture

>>726627182
other fuckers have the same shit.

I feel like my friends don't care about me.

>>726627736
Anything worthwhile? I gave up doing that shit when I realised pantie pics just aren't enough anymore

I sniff my sisters panties every night then blow a load into them

>>726619694
It wasn't sexual attraction at my father at all, if that's what you're thinking.
It's the perversity of the act and the smell of old undies (not dirty, but long used so the aroma is impregnated).
I only do it when I'm completely alone and fully naked.

I kind of raped a girl, but I really didn't think it would go down the way it did. It's maybe the only true regret I have.

>>726627489
fucking kek

>>726613969
I once broke into a house to find the owners cat was dead on the floor in the living room.

>>726620066
lmao do the truffle shuffle chunk. sidenote here THESE FUCKIN NEWFAGS DONT EVEN KNOW

femanon here, here's some shitty greentext for you


>be a retarded 15yo
>in the back of the car, mom and grandma both in the front
>gets horny on the drive back to home
>watching porn while barely touching my crotch
>masturbate for like 30 mins
>no one fucking notices
>i'm going to hell
>i climax just a few miles from my gran's street

probably will share this outside of /b/ eventually

>>726613969
I only have one friend and I suffer from constant fear that he will either forget about me or grow to hate me eventually

>>726628780
poor anon.

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>>726613969
I haven't talked to a girl for 6 years until yesterday

>>726620066
This is all from Max Keeble's Big Movie

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>>726629004
wut? How did you manage that?

>>726628695
They noticed, don't lie to yourself.

My aunt uses oxycontin and fell asleep at a potluck we had a few months back. She lives down the road so she usually just passes out and then comes to later on and goes home. Well, this time ahe did it and it was nearly the end of the party anyway so i knew only a few people would even know i was gone. I went to the bathhouse area on our property and found her stumbling around so I quickly gathered her things and offered her a ride home, maybe 2 minutes down the road. On the way there she keeps passing out like always and almost falls out of my golf cart. I hastily make a shitty decision to drive to my trailer instead. She has no clue we arent at her house and i help her right inside. Once we are on the inside she sits on the floor of the living room and zonks out again. This is it. I wait maybe 5 minutes and check the shit out of the yard and shut my fence gate and lock my door. I go back to my aunt and see that she has pissed herself and my floor. I kinda pick her up a bit and pull her shorts down around her knees while she is still laying down. Her bush is fucking huge and she kind of smelled like unwashed ass but for whatever reason I just get super fucking hard and start really feeling like super bad for what im doing. I dont care i keep going. Whatever. I start to touch her butt and squeeze her really hard to kind of test what is happening and see how passed out she is. I get the idea to grab some lube and finger her and to maybe take a picture or two of her pussy and ass because why the fuxk not im already this far. I come back from the kitchen with olive oil and i start to really rub her pussy. It is so warm and wet. I reach down and grab my dick from my pants and start to stroke it. So much fucking pre-cum i get worried about sticking my dick in her pussy because I don't want to get her pregnant. So i do the nezt best thing that I can imagine. I lube up her ass and to my surprise there isnt any resistance. Just a warm, super relaxed asshole that I quickly.

>>726613969
I'm straight

>>726629432
Eh, I doubt it. I was "subtle" and they were oblivious.

>>726613969
Cheated on my wife last Monday with my high school ex that I haven't seen in a long time.

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>>726629363
just go to a school and get into a class with only boys
and never go out
like, never

>>726629748
Fuck the character limit. I fingered my aunts ass and pussy. Never fucked though. Wish i went further because she is none the wiser.

>>726613969
I think traps are gay. Don't tell anon.

>>726629934
Its a car ride and parents, atleast the good ones, have good hearing and can with ease detect shit like that.

If a maleanon did that, even if even quiter and more "subtle" than you, he would have gotten caught, if you climaxed, even if you didn't make a sound, they would have noticed.

Then again, this is /b/, so the chances your parents were shit aren't exactly low. Either way, they wouldn't tell sally to quit jerking it at the back of a car when gran is around.

>>726628207
Kinda raped?

I took my first ever pill of XTC at a festival, was 300mg first time and I went fucking skitz, the girl who had took it with me was on the floor and was NOT in a good state, so I had a panic attack and went to the welfare and asked paramedics for an hour straight if I was going to be ok. I was wired out of my kite at this point, but I felt like a right nobhead haha.

>>726630486
Always test that shit dude

4 chan is the biggest waste of time you could possibly imagine.

>>726630560
Turned out it was a normal pill but my first time 300mg straight bomb with this girl who has had it before and looking like she was about to die? Yeah I went into total emergency hahaha

I 69'd with my friend on the beach when I was 9-11 years old (I cant remember the exact age). We are both guys

>>726630702
I was fine, left the welfare, went to MK for half an hour and then went home due to shame. Never live that one down.

>>726630306
I once went out with a young Mum just so I could mess with her kid.

>>726630560
Not the original Anon, but how? Breaking it in half and taking half first?

>>726630587
some people come and ask for help on /b/, to that extend I wouldn't necessarily call it a complete waste of time in some instances

but 95% of threads including trump, feet thread, furry thread etc are indeed

>>726621560
Does she usually get fucked like that

>>726630306
She and I were friends a long time and she was always a little flirty. One night she came over and I smoked weed and we both drank a lot of wine and I asked her to spend the night. She agreed and we went to sleep. In the morning I woke up before her. Start to rub one out next to her, then touch her. She's passed out cold. I rub her pussy a while and eventually go down on her. She wakes up half way through and stops me. I ask if I can jerk off on her tits and she agrees but isn't into it. We take a shower together after and she acts like she needs to be held. She leaves and I think we're cool. We never talked again and I found out she told her friends I raped her. I guess I did. But I homestly thought she would be into it when I finally made a move or figured she would stop me. Idunno. It still bother me and I feel bad it happened as it did.

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>>726615030

>>726613969
I'm in the closet

>>726630883
Original anon here - No, there are some agencies that work on site and test it for free but destroy it after, so you just cut off a little bit of dust and have it mixed with marquise and some other shite, they tell you if its safe and what it contains and advice you to take it or not.

>>726617297
same, fuck fathers.

i once fucked your mom...

>>726613969
I'm CIA, all day I sit on /b/ and /pol/ and go through this garbage.

I don't like the girl I'm fucking rn, if rather be fucking my best fruend...

>>726631078
tom cruise?

>>726630883
I can only speak for holland, but there are some test centers that cost €2,50 to test a sample

it's called a drugtestservice and services like these have been condoned by the government to ensure people will not end up in hospitals

maybe if you google it you can find it for your own country as well

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i once stole my cousins panties and sniffed the Christ out of 'em. i later buried them in the backyard out of guilt

>>726615764
NOBLE THE SINK

Used to sniff my best friends moms panties and jerk off to them

i see dead people

I don't actually know how sex works

>>726631274
Why? For what purpose? Does CIA like traps?

>>726631675
Probably the mass shooting posts

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>have a crush on one of my good friend's gf
>she seems to have a crush on me (I'm bad at reading signs but with her its so obvious I didn't even question it)
>she doesn't seem to want to leave him, never talk about it
>I don't wanna talk to her about it either
>I think talking or mentioning it may fuck things up not only between the two of us, but with her bf as well, I can't do that to him
>she's perfect, never met a girl like her
>think she thinks the same of me, she always comes to me to hang out and seems to feel comfortable
>22 y/o kissless virgin here and this is the situation I'm in
>feelsbadman

>>726613969
i wash my ass with the shower head

i live in an apartment with 7 other students, and we all share the same bathroom

I'm in love with my 2nd/3rd cousin.
her grandmothers brother is my grandfather. idk what that makes us. anyways.
met about 10 years ago. got to know each other. but she lived a few states away. now I'm 24. she's 21. we finally dated after she moved to my state because her dickhead bf broke up with her. he moved to about 2 hrs down the interstate. and she moved to the same city I'm in.. saw her every day. kissed in public. held hands. our family didn't really care what we did. well one day when I went to work she decided to go visit her grandparents in a city about 2hrs away... well it's been 4 days. she barely texts me anymore. says that her ex met up with her and she is conflicted. well. that's all I'm going to say. because what's the point. no one read this far.

>>726631931
hehe

When I was younger, I used to stick my face in my sleeping half-sister's ass as well as smell her pajama bottoms.

>>726631985
let it go and shove those feelings up your ass.

find another grill because she played you

I am deeply in love with my step sister (my dad married her mom). She is the nicest, kindest person that I have ever met but shes married with a kid and she won't leave him because she wants her kid to have a stable family.

>>726631931
fucking


madman

>>726632284
incest is wincest

i am also in love with my cousin

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Alright time to confess...

>be me
>14 years old
>live in calm street
>cousing comes over
>playing vidya
>go outside together
>he trips over some stick and breaks his neck
>is spasming all over the ground lookign like he about to die
>pick up pretty big rock
>drop it right on his head
>mfw i dont know what i was thinking
>go back home and tell someone
>never told them i practicly killed him

>>726632217
honestly I wish I could. but after ten years of building up to what we had. it was incredible. the only reason she is with him is because he keeps feeding her xanex like a labrat. I've almost snapped her out of it. but until she stops eating that shit like PEZ then idk.

>>726632448
The closser the kin the deeper in is what I always say.

>>726632448
lol I just ranted about that

>>726613969
i once ate a 14 year old girls ass

>>726632526
Anon, learn to let go.

10 years when she pops xanax luke pez means nothing. She has changed to be shit and you do not need a xanax poper in your life, get some balls and ditch the anchor or sink like a lil bitch faggot

>>726632758
no you didnt

>>726632452
Fucking lol. Why? What did you think would happen?

>>726613969
I have two large scars on my arm from where I cut myself because I thought it was funny.

still is.

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I actually use Gentoo as my main OS

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>>726632855
yes i did

>>726632918
i dont know kick him out of it or something

Dog puss is tight as fuck.

>>726633209
ok

>>726613969
>Fall for a cutie tomboy
>Completely antisocial so fuck me if I know how to flirt
>She keeps coming drunk to school,getting caught smoking etc.
>Still think she's cute,buy her some cigs sometimes even tho I dont smoke,try to get on her goodside
>She starts inviting me over,we hang out , she makes some pancakes and shit,I help out
>Would like to try to do anything to hint how I feel bout her but I have absolutely no clue how
>2 years of this
>She eventually invites me to her place to play "Strip Monopoly" or something.Basically just get drunk and strip:The game
>Get to her place,door is half open
>She's fucking a dude in her apartment hall
>what the fuck
>Apparently thats her boyfriend for the past 4 years
>What the fuck
>She apologizes and says she didnt expect me so early
>Cunt obviously told me to come here at this time
>Don't know whether to get angry or cry
>Suddenly smell pancakes
>Bitch made pancakes for the faggot
>Laugh it off and enter their apartments kitchen
>"Oh you made pancakes for me again Tamara haha how nice"
>Eat all of them
>Dont leave a single bite behind
>ThatWillShowHer.jpg
>Her BF seemingly doesnt understand anything and compliments my apetite
>Excuse myself and go home
>Cry
>Spend the next 3 years depressed
Such is life as a fucking beta

>>726615263
Greentext

>>726632826
I'd rather sink.
then let her drown alone. idk /b/ro
I'll give it time and see how it goes

>>726633209
you sure did buddy, you sure did

>>726632758
When I was 13 I talked a 8 year girl into sex
I gave up confused when I realised my dick just refused to enter her butt
I'm a fucking idiot

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I've been permanently banned 5 times.

>I want to suck my best friends cock.

I'm a guy. I'm also a huge faggot.

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>>726633597
how much of a weirdo do you have to be to get permanently banned from /b/ 5 times

>>726633701
old fag level

Anyone in here eat their own cum after jerking off?

>>726633424
Anon, wilingly going down with a rat infested ship is not a way of life.

You might be a /b/tard but even /b/tards have to get some standards, dont be that one guy who goes after used goods that pops xanax like pe, you know that shit won't end well and at most you fuck her a few times while being miserable.

Get over it, that's a fucking order. Get your damn shit together anon, fuck time and fuck thinking it over, you know its a bad idea and feel depressed so you ignore good and solid advice, snap the fuck out of it, man the fuck up and go search for some pussy that isn't related to you by blood.

I want to dump my bf because his dick is small

>>726633823
First couple times when I started cumming, I did. Not anymore though.

my brother died today, and I feel empty. Tried fapping to pass the time, stopped midway and felt "what the fuck is this, isnt there more to life than just primal urges and societal bullshit?" and so I came here on /b/ to post about my day.

Anyone got wisdom to share?

>inb4 an hero

>>726633823
Did it once or twice
It doesnt taste disgusting or anything but I still feel disgusted doing it

>>726633823

Probably 80% of the time.

>Cum into hand
>Slurp it up
>Lick hand clean

>>726634027
Keep your head up, I guess. Try to get all that sadness out of your system.

I don't belong here

>>726633701
idk i guess the mods dont like little girls in swimsuits?

or girls that look 12 but are actually 20.

or threads about three threads getting nuked within half an hour.

or being little bitchboyniggerlivingtrannyfuckingknobslibberingshitlickers.

>>726634027
I only had 1 major death in my life and I delt with it by locking myself in my room and just playing PSX Spiderman
10 years later,being in my room for the entire day playing videogames is the norm so I don't know what to tell you now

>>726613969
I walk in town at night with a very sharp knife and im always tempted to catch the first kid that passes by and just slit their throats on the spot

>>726616098
LIES!!!

>>726634027

Life can be cruel.

Life is also inconceivably confusing. Just do what ever you can to keep going. I love ya, bro.

Me and my gf are traveling tomorrow to meet our affair for the second time. I'm so excited, except that just this week I got candidiasis, a sore throath and just today my lower back is hurting like hell

I believe in voodoos now

>>726634303
hey come to my town

I wasted 3 years of my life studying History. As interesting as it is, their is no future other then teaching. I might have a chance to study in Rostock, Germany if I play my cards right, but I want to change majors. I was thinking of architecture/engineering. Is it too late to switch?

>>726634027
Take a memento of him and case it and other than that, read a book and go outside.

If you feel like your life is right now just too controled by social norms and shit, go hike a mountain and be at peace with yourself, let the anger and sadness go. Don't forget him but accept it, cherish the good, remember the bad.

>>726613969
I know my dad stole 2 people's identities. I know my dad is addicted to heroin but can't tell him.

I drone strike people for a living

>>726634540
Why you need someone dead?

12 - 17 inclusive is best age.

>>726634694
Ah fuck it, who am I kidding. 10 - 17.

>>726616809
You got raped go to the cops faggot

>>726634639
Yeah me

>>726634639
And lets rape sum little kids together too

>>726634578
fuck that feels like what he would want me to do, thanks bro

>>726634431
love you too pal

>>726634116
>>726634204
Thanks I'll try

>>726633946
yeah man. I get what you're saying. but she will never be completely gone out of my life. she has crazy bad anxiety attacks. so she always had a script to xanex. I have crazy depression fits. like. in this week alone I've added about 6 more cigar burns. just getting rid of the hickies she left on me. lmao but we've helped each other through each suicidal episode. we belong together. like two unmatched puzzle pieces an autistic kid forced together with his helmet. she is just sick. and he preys on the feeling of being able to basically controll her. they were together for three years. so I understand where she is coming from. but he is the worst thing for her. I'm no whiteknight but I feel its my responsibility to do what I can to improve her life.

>>726634835
Sure ill make it painfull since thats what you seem to want
>>726634906
How could i say no to that

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>>726635083
Cool. Now u just have to find me. Nigger.

Sounds like a shitty situation man I feel for you and her.

>>726613969
I put a finger in my cat's butt once.

>>726613969
i like pineapple on pizza

>>726633262
That poor dude. There he dying already and your dumb kid ass was like "I know! I'll FUCK HIS SHIT UP WITH THIS ROCK! That will help..."

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>be me
>chilling with my friends late at night
>I was the only one with a car at the time
>It was winter so it got dark really early
>my car had a shit tint job by previous owner
>I got bored and decide to go home
> cant see shit while I'm reversing because of shit tint
>whatcouldgowrong.jpg
>back up too far and hit some truck parked behind me
>get out and look at damages
>just some scratches on my car, but a dent on the trucks quarter panel
>nope the fuck out of there as fast as possible
> sell the car a few months later because of mechanical issues
> never told anyone and nobody saw what happened
>mfw I still see the truck with the dent when I chill with friends

>>726621560
Nah bro. I ass fuck my wife when she gets shitfaced

>>726635538
me too

>>726634914
No problem anon, find peace with what happened and become a better person, its all we can do when someone cherished dies.
>>726634944
Anon, we are all fucked up here, its a acepted fact but while you may think that you and her can fix eatchother, the reality is that most likely your relationship was a bandaid and instead of healing the causes, it just delayed the effects.

Anon, if you truly do believe you want to get better and if you truly believe that she can be helped and that its your damn responsability to do so, then you must get better first. Control your depression and get yourself to a fully stable status where you can support her emotionally and financially without you yourself being just as bad as her, if you do indeed love her, get better to the point where you can actually help her instead of delaying eatchothers suicide attempts.

>>726633353
Alas. You are indeed the kind of /b/rother that makes this place the sad, sorry shithole it is.

I cheated on my wife seven years ago for about 6 months. Didn't get caught. I now take antidepressants, anxiety and sleep medication and am probably an alcoholic. She's deserves better than me and guilts a bitch. Don't do it if you have the chance

>>726633353
>2 years of this

>>726636185
exactly, how stupid is this guy

>>726635738
whhen i was a kid i had a bmx and i would find it fun to push the bike and pretend it was a ghost rider. anywho the bike rolled and the handle went onto some strangers car hood and made a deep scratch across that shit. i was with friends and well we just ran off and never talked about it, i was hella anxious tho cus i knew those guys couldnt be trusted for shit but luckily they didnt really realize the srsness of the situation

>>726636452
I have absolutely no self confidence when it comes to women and my only idea of flirting is buying them things until they like me
Its fucking horrible I know but no other approach has has come as close to working as that did

>>726635819
yeah man. I was fixed until this week.
I'm a navy veteran. a licensed EMT. and a generally well rounded person. other than this week I haven't felt this way in years. I just came here because I have no one else to talk to except myself lol

i jerk off to my sister every night and putting a panties of her up my ass

>>726613969
I never really lieked mudkipz

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I trien to get b& so that my brother can't not look at 4chan anymore but no matter what i says they won't ban.

whats is the bestest way to block the 4chan from of my brothers view? thanks

>>726637071
Spam tranny porn in SFW boards
Spam normal porn in NSFW boards

>>726637071
ask moot

When I was in highschool, me and this 6.5 whore went for about 3 months our sophomore year, and everyday on the schoolbus I would turn her sideways, where her entire body was facing the window. We both had long ass bus rides, around an hour each. I'd fingerfuck her and pinch her nipples while biting her neck the entire ride, and got her so addicted to it that I was able to get her into anal, and trained her to be able to squirt onto extra shirts she'd bring from home and lay under her on the bus

I masturbate with my brother's electric tooth brush when I'm alone. I then rinse it off and put it back. I don't think he ever uses it. But he doesn't know I do.

>>726637071
>take some choco milk
>pour it down the drain
>take a pic of that w/ some CP in the background

When i was at school, ( there is a door between the guys changing room, and the gorls changing room) in gimnastics class, i said that i was going to the bathroom, but i entered the guys changing room (the teacher were suposed to locked them but one teacher was so lazy to do that) and then i lockpick the door so i entered the girls changing room ( which was locked) and looked for panties and bras an stuff) and jerked off in them

>>726637372
beta as fuck dude

>>726637267
that's hot, can we see your tits

I once lied that I broke a vase just so my parents would stop beating me cause they were under the impression that I broke it and that I was lying,and wouldnt stop hitting me until I told the "truth"
My sister,that actually did the deed,was happily playing with legos during that
I hate that cunt so much

>>726634027
when you do eventually cry, cry hard

I go to german class with 2 buff black dudes and the racist that I am finds them utterly disgusting

Then I get home and masturbate to White Sissy x Black Master fanfictions

I'm still in love with Shelby, even though she left me for a homosexual and said she hates me. I wish she would message me so that I could explain some things. I have a girlfriend but can't love anyone it seems, even though I care about her I can't be in love with her.

>>726637777
fuck, thanks

I'm going to get off now, I think I need to just go walk around or do something.

many thanks for the advice bros, I wish you all the best

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>>726637777

FULL TILT PANIC MODE

>19 yr old faggot, living with parents cause no money/rents fucking high
>parents are a bit over bearing, liking to know everyone in my social life
>this combined with abuse when I received as a child has killed me socially
>tend to be a recluse, don't talk to others, don't have friends
>crave pussy like any guy, never had it
>listen to some Anon about online dating and fucking women
>do it
>find girl, she's cute, nice my age. We talk, we set date for coffee.
>PANIC.GIF
>i can't fucking be social, hell I can't fucking be like flirty or sexual
>I have fucking trust issues, I don't like people
>fucking panic mode all the way

I'm so fucked. I can't do this. I can't fucking do this, I don't even know where to buy fucking condoms. IM A FUCKING CHILD IN A GOD DAMNED MANS BODY. I CANT FUCKING DO THIS. Help.

>YOU ALWAYS FUCK IT UP KANE, ALWAYS!

>>726638366
move the fuck out. your shit'll get together with time, trust me

I want to fuck my cousin

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>>726638366

>>726638711
So does 80% of USA,nothing to worry about

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>>726638711

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>>726638800

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>>726638800

>>726613969
>this is a safe place

lol

>>726638586
Can't, rents way to high around this place, and my money tends to go to my car so that I can drive to work.

>>726638366
Anon socializing is not hard, you get condoms at a store, treat people politely, react accordingly, maybe tell a joke sometimes or say a nice story when its apt to hook people in, simple shit.

Never fear spilling the spagheti because every time you do it makes it harder to do it again. Just keep trying to talk to people and socialize, find a group of similar interests and shit should be fine, half of socializing is knowing what to say and when, the other half is having the confidence to say it, get some balls and go for it.

this is now a get thread, also check em

>>726638366
You didn't fuck up those doubles

https://youtu.be/FPYCF0SZ8Kk

I'll show this faggot how to get doubles

>>726626519
Dude, braces are pretty good, but the entire nerd look, the glasses the miniskirt the braces too. But fuck man, it's good to know people have the same interests.

>>726638914
do you need the car?

if yes, get cheaper car or better job or second job or change city so that you dont need car or move so you dont need car or use bike?

if no, get rid of car.

bottom line - you wont change until you move out. the sooner you do the better for you.

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>>726616411
>>726620033
>>726620066
>>726621744
>>726622000
>>726626999
>>726627466
>>726630066
>>726631000
>>726632855
>>726633277
>>726633788
>>726633955
>>726634599
>>726634944
>>726637777
>>726638366
>>726638711
>>726638800
all checked, also check mine

>>726613969
i have intense discussions with myself on /b/ where i put forth 2 retarded arguments against one another, then proceed to be really petty in arguing with myself

>>726638952
Big problem is parents tend to be huge cunts about it. Had a bit of a girlfriend in High School and they fucked it up by constantly bothering me about and wanting to met her and her parents. Wasent even fucking serious.

Beyond that I used to fake socialization, but now I only socialize at work, which just entails being happy, nodding when they stuff and then giving a smile and saying "you bet buddy" or some shit like that.

Even worse I've never had sex, or any remote sexual contact, ffs I don't even know how to kiss. I'm like HP fucking Lovecraft levels of Asociality.

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Finally a Thread that i can tell you my deepest secret!

>be 12
> Home alone, bored
> see sony cam recorder
>Find some tapes
> find an tape that says "empty"
> decide to record
> turns out it has video on it
> I connect it to the TV with some shity tier wires
> start watching it
> Blank screen
> Fast forward
> see something that looks like sex
> i notice that this is sex
> i notice that its my sister sex tape
> i notice that im watching MY sisters sex tape
> get confused
> get diamonds
> That face when im masturbating to my sisters sex tape

This is true, if u think i faked this well then. youre a fgt.

>>726639260
>need it
>as cheap as its gonna get

Id love to move out, but again shit/no money

>>726639552
heres an idea, get a job

>>726639420
Hey, I do that as well, but instead I speak it out loud in public!

>>726639621
>have job
>saving up for education. Ain't cheap yo

>>726615854
It didn't happen unless you have pictures.

>>726639680
so you have a plan eh? good for you, now fakkoff

>>726639680
education in what? what country? how much needed? scholarships?

>>726618871
Same got years of footage

>>726639795
Canada for 4 years.

I'm 18 yet I've done hydrocodone, oxycodone, xanax, klonopin, codeine, and adderall. They're all my parent's perscriptions besides adderall (mine).

I mostly started doing them out of curiosity (after researching) and I haven't got addicted to any of them.

I've learned so much stuff from researching that now I've been reading a pharmacology textbook (out of genuine interest). I'm not going to go to college for it though because it'd cost a fortune, and I already have a plan anyway.

None of my friends or family know that I did those drugs, and I feel like they'd hate me if they did (they're Mormon). I don't even know what my parents would think

in summary: did drugs, friends/family would prob hate me if they knew

>>726639456
Have a real talk to them about ho their pressure is not helping you at all and tell them to give you some space to try to do things without their pressure.

As long as you are decently atractive, shit is easy, research shit like how to do oral and general sex on [spoiler]reddit, yes, its shit but sometimes its gold[/spoiler] and wing it with confidence. Have confidence and try to solve the issue with your family by talking it over, worth a shot.

>>726627923
They dont

>>726615030
Me too, but do you actually put your foot in your mouth to bite them off? I might do this.

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>>726639476
Another One
> Friends Facebook gets Reported
> i give him my fake one
> 2 years later, i still have his password, he did not change it *what a retard*
> he gets a girlfriend
> he goes to Poland on vacation and has no internet
> i check his Facebook sometimes because i like to spy over people
> his retard GF sends him a nude trough Facebook
> i see it first
> Leak the picture trough the group of friends but secretly, we share GF nudes anyways
> he founds out that we saw the nude before him
> 1 week later he leaves his GF for being to fat.

*pic related*

>>726639629
haha, kek the normies always take the bait amirite? *high fives*

>>726629708
Laat zien kut neger

female pedo :(

>>726639869
fair enough, good country, well try and get second job mate, and save up at least 2/3 of your salary

>>726639979
I've tried it in the past. It helps very little, instead they just become more subtle/ try to hide it better. I mean at one point they were tracking my phone to see where I went, then accused me of getting drugs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJzJH_vIlZ0

>>726640254
stay closeted, dont do anything irl and try to develop interest in legal sexual pleasures.
this has been your guide to common fucking sense

>>726640171
She's a fucking goddess

>>726624245
I second this. I was really depressed, but then i started running and lifting weights.

>>726640390
only my best friend knows, and i trust her with my life

no worries though, i will never ever act on it

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Just the place I was looking for.

Nothing dark just something to get off my mind.

I'm more astute than I lead others to believe. I do this purposefully to catch them in a lie.

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>>726639860
years, you say?

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>>726613969
I only bought photoshop to make fetish porn and memes. I do stuff like this once in a while though just to convince my parents I didn't waste all that money.